Netmonkey Weekly Report
Issue XXV
November 30th, 1998


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                   `Y$  [ n ] ETMONKEY [ W ] EEKLY [ R ] EPORT





        Hooray! another fine issue..
        Fuck if i know what happened to lester.. he gave me his
    biased report, and then disappeared. so.. sorry lester, i had
    to release.. ;/
        This is issue 25, a milestone for us, i guess. I had wanted
    to have a coded version of the mag ready by this time, but
    i guess that will have to wait for the weeks ahead.
        Our botmaster, ZeuS, is a BOT GOD.. swing by NWR and get all
    our backissues with "!nwr 21" or whatever. Or you can just pop
    by and try to tell us that MnM isn't really dead, (but we won't
    listen!)  ;]
        Lester doesn't get pestered nearly enough these days..
    Remember to msg him and tell him you love what he writes..
    Do it 4 or 5 times to make sure he hears you.. <g>
        Our picture of mrpumpkin was so popular last week, that
    we decided to include an art submission by the scene's very
    own TDPREIST.. He drew this after his recent visit to TORONTO
    to go on a nature trip with idyllwild..!!
        Check out the 2 included submissions arguing about the history
    of hades... yay!
        Webpage/coded mag coming soon!!
	
                                         ndetroit [Co-Editor/Head Fatass]



-----------[ index ]-----------

   I.)   Intro 
               a) Lester
               b) ndetroit

   II.)  Quotes of the Week  

   III.) Stats - Weekly Stats, and comments on Sites.
   IV.)  Lester's Biased Courier Report
                 
   V.)   Articles 
               a) HADES clarification - ndetroit
               b) Dee Retires - ndetroit
               c) Lester's Moview Review - Meet Joe Black

   VI.)  Scene News - All the news thats fit to print 
    
   VII.) Rumors! 

   VIII.) Closing



---------------------[ Quotes of the Week! ]---------------------



-Nukes for Yesterday
 Nuker    Nukee    Program                     *x KBytes Reason
 -------------------------------------------------------------------------
 mgd      siim     Courier.Weektop.Scorecard.I 1x     47 nodiz/NWR_RULES


-<ndetroit> you checked out glen's Scene's Top Traders yet?
 <Lester> jeezus
 <Lester> it's like my report if it was done by an idiot


-<Jaydee> now some dude is taking a shit 
 <morbid-> gimme url jaydee, i wanna watch too!

-<[STiX]> u guys carded gay pr0n site? 
 <morbid-> we couldn't find any releases :|

-* [grind] is away...packing animal porn and solitare games for release
 <^Jman^> omg
 <^Jman^> another grind tagline!
 <^Jman^> im gonna start counting

-*** Now talking in #redux
 *** Topic is 'CORP releases now banned, 3x NUKE'
 *** Set by REDUX on Sun Nov 29 15:26:29
 <mgd> entity FEARS corp

-<Coolio|> if you were amn you know this
 <Coolio|> AMNESIA RULED 
 <Coolio|> If you werent you would never know whats its like to be the 
           best of the best

-<MossyOak> MNM dead?
 <glen> mossy
 <glen> i tore lester's ear off
 <glen> last week
 <glen> =P



-----------[ ndetroit's sites and stats section ]-----------


    Another fun fun week, full of surprises and wackyness.
  First off, apparently [dee] has retired from the scene for good.
  More on that later, but chances are this will have quite a negative
  impact on RDX/TG... we'll see.

  Congrats to DiMENSiON who stole ENIGMA from RiSC.. E has been
  around forever, and is one of the scene's best sites. Nice work
  to that whole team.. Now lets see if they can keep it!
    Dunno what's up with STH this week. So far they haven't replaced 
  mfd/cls, so... who knows whats up with that.. ;)  
    MP is class's EHQ now, if i'm not mistaken, giving up their previous
  title of ECHQ, or smth like that.. That opens up a spot in class
  that apparently has 7 or 8 different sites clamoring to fill..
  good luck.

  FiRESiTE is doing well, props to them for picking up SEiKO, they are 
  now SEiKO WHQ.. <g>:

  <b0tname> New [04:18:56] - FS: Aol.Instant.Messager.v2.02.Win9598NT-SEiKO 
            Made by: rivendel

    Uhmm.. lets see.. what else... Over on the US side of things, TV was 
  was damn fast this week, proving that you don't need the top-level
  traders on your site to rack up good speeds... They are managing to 
  do very nicely with a bunch of guys that i have never heard of from 
  groups like WLW, and LG.. Ditto for TMS. The site has gotten considerably
  faster than it was when it opened 2 weeks ago. Now if only they can
  get some top affils, to give their traders a reason to be there.. ;p
  
  Sad to see MnM finally disbanded this week... well, not THAT sad, i 
  guess.. still, they were making such a good comeback.. <g>

  Grad was #1 on FS/ET this week, on the strength of LND pre's
  alone.. GOOD JOB LND/GRAD.. ;)

  MP is down this week, so no weektop from them. MDK is on the list,
  as is IC, the lone US site..
  
=--------------------------------------------------------------------------=
	Sites are rated on a 3X and 2X scale.. if you want to know why we 
 do it that way, read an old issue. Couriers get 10 points per site they get
 #1 on, 9 points for 2nd place, 8 points for 3rd, etc, etc. 
	Sites are rated by us. If you don't like the ratings, then.... 
heh... fuck off and die..
=--------------------------------------------------------------------------=

          The Top Ten sites for this week are:

	                                   
          x3 FS -*- STH -*- ET -*- E -*- MP
          x2 RDX -*- ROC -*- DLS -*- IC -*- MDK

   
	          ---=NETMONKEY COURiER REPORT=---

 trader       group   FS STH ET  E MP RDX ROC DLS IC MDK  pts   pos    
 -------------------------------------------------------------------
 siim         AoD      2   2  2  0  0   1   1   6  0   1   151   [1] 
 godbless     DMS      3   1  4  4  0   2   0   2  0   5   144   [2] 
 kruzin       RiSC     0   0  3  5  0   3   2   1  1   3   132   [3]  
 mrpumpkin    DMS      6   3  7  3  0   0   0   7  9   2   121   [4] 
 grad         iND      1   0  1  0  0   0   0   3  0   0    76   [5] 
 toadie       DMS      9   5  6  0  0   8   5   0  0  10    59   [6] 
 morbid       AoD      0   4  0  1  0   0   0   0  0   0    51   [7]  
 wishmaster   DMS      0   7  0  0  0   0   0   0  2   6    46   [8] 
 mrsandman    DEV      5   0  0  0  0   0   0   0  7   0    36   [9] 
 lethal       VGN      0   8  0  7  0   0   4   0  0   0    35  [10]  

 * = no weektop this week.

=--------------------------------=--------------------------------------=


-----------[ Lester's Biased Courier Section ]-----------


Lester's Biased Courier Report

Once again, still not trading, so I don't have the juicy info. But enjoy 
the show.

DIMENSION: Well, biggest news this week was DMS taking E away from RiSC 
after 5 years. DMS' traders didn't have their best week, but it was a 
solid week overall with the pickups. 

DEVOTION: Same shit different day, I heard a rumor today though about 
Devotion boycotting a site if it does not join them, so we'll see if the 
group that is supposed to be highly moral and with such high integrity, 
is going to boycott a site for that reason. Their traders continue to do 
well though.

RISC: Laugh...I'll try to be good in this one. E has finally left RiSC. 
Finally coming to the realization that the Risc dynasty is finished. I 
will comment more on this later in the report. Kruzin is about all the 
got and he's been banned from most popular sites.

VGN: Yew Suck.

MNM: Hehhehe Since Mossyoak said he was going to tear my head off for 
saying MNM is dead, I am going to say it again. MNM is dead. Happy Days 
are here again.

TFA: I dunno who you guys are.

AOD: Go Morbid Go!


Weekly Shit: Hrm, seems Glen decided to put out something called STT. 
More or less a clone of NWR and my biased report, I had planned to rip 
him a few new assholes, but he kissed up and said he'd stop, so I can't 
be too mean. Also, Risc has instated a new council for the group. Coolio, 
Bender, Brain and Eternal. Now, you all may be saying, who the fuck? So 
let me go over them with you. Coolio is a good guy, was in Amnesia with me 
for years. Only responsible guy of the 4. Bender, has been in a large number 
of groups and is not an experienced leader, spends most of his time goofing 
off. Brain doesn't seem to be grown up enough to run a group, I hardly can 
believe the old Risc pride would want to put him in charge,(Hi Brain!). 
Eternal, laugh, do I need to bother with this one? hahaah I say E got 
out at the best possible time and I urge the rest of them to get off the 
sinking ship quick!

=----------------------------------=--------------------------------------=



-----------[ Articles ]-----------


=----------------------------------=--------------------------------------=

--------------[dee Retires: the future of NGT?]--------------



    Well, this week the scene lost a truly dedicated member.
  [dee], leader of NGT finally decided to retire, to concentrate
  on his scholastics.

    Once the leader of ATOMiC-X, a well respected group that traded
  on both sides of the atlantic, dee was a well known an (un?)popular
  scene member.

    Shortly after the disbanding of Atom-x earlier this year, he formed
  NeXT GENERATiON TRADERS (NGT), and has lead them for most of the past
  year. 

    Siteop on several sites, including TG and RDX, dee leaves both his
  group and his sites in turmoil.. NGT lost several key members with his
  departure, and its unlikely they will continue much longer.. In additon
  to losing dee, NGT has its only shellbox hacked, and rm -rf'd a week 
  ago.
    Gone from NGT are weeze(VGN) and Kane(QSR). Along with dee, those
  three composed the core trading unit of NGT's solid, if unspectacular,
  trading team.

  TG and RDX are likely to continue on, tho without dee, who's to say
  whether or not they will be as successful.

=----------------------------------=--------------------------------------=

--------------[HADES Clarification]--------------


  Last week CWS ran an article/interview by buj, and some fool named "cardie"
  While they include a disclaimer in the article, it was so factually
  inaccurate, that it begs to be corrected.

  In that article, the author claimed that HADES was KAC and DEV WHQ's
  at the time of its demise. HADES was never a KAC or DEV HQ..

  In fact, HDS was DiMENSiON WHQ (the last DMS WHQ ever), in addition
  to being PFT/RiSE (yes, dual).

  In regards to what actually caused the HADES box to go down, just read
  the included submission done by Exile.. 
  I have included both the CWS-Cardie version, and Exile-Ind version, 
  here in their entirety for you to read:



-----[Cardie version, as first published in CWS41]-----
  
  	A while ago (can't remember when) Hades, a top 5 site at it's height
in the scene, and a Devotion Hq, went down due to some very sketchy reasons.
The leader of the group KAC (Hades was KAC WHq at the time), released a
generic letter to the scene stating that the brother (Cardiel) of the owner of
the Hades box had deleted the site because he had become jealous (or something
like that). Only the leaders of Devotion and the owners of Hades have known
the truth, that is until now. I have interviewed Cardiel and with his
permission have published his words, untouched, in its entirety. Read and
decide for yourself upon the following events.


Here's a little info for you lamers:
HDS		Hades
DEV		Devotion
su pwd		super user password on "unix" boxes
PM		Prime Meridian
US		United States
EST		Eastern Standard Time


Begin Log November 25, 1998 Approximately 7:00 PM US EST

<buj> tell me something...
<cardiel> what? =)
<buj> did you del HDS? 
<buj> ?
<cardiel> naaah.
<cardiel> I was at my bro's place tictacto
<cardiel> and we were sitting with the box
<buj> then what happened?
<cardiel> my bro wanted sites. and got a little bit angry at jaydee,
          norseman.. etc..
<buj> what do you mean he wanted sites?
<cardiel> coz he hadnt got any
<cardiel> for running hades and having a dev box
<buj> you mean he was siteop of hds and he wasn't on any other sites?
<cardiel> then someone of norseman,jaydee and one more person change su pwd...
          dont remember the 3 guy
<cardiel> no..
<cardiel> coz he was allways working
<cardiel> but when i come down i said to him.. you must have some sites of
          dev..
<cardiel> and jaydee and that guys...
<cardiel> so.. they changed su and we got were angy.. and they played not
          guilty.. then we removed hades..
<buj> so that's what happened?
<cardiel> then they are blaming me fore removing it.. just..
<cardiel> yepp
<cardiel> norse,jaydee are bullshitting..
<cardiel> i hat eem
<buj> do you think anyone can trust DEV?
<cardiel> fucking teenagers..
<cardiel> hehe. do know really ..
<cardiel> dont you?
<buj> do i know what?
<buj> hate fucking teenagers?
<buj> so someone from DEV changed the su passwd?
<buj> ?
<cardiel> hehe
<cardiel> =)
<cardiel> yep
<cardiel> someone from the dev
<cardiel> so thats why hds got down
<buj> well thanx for the info
<buj> cya ltr bro! :)
<cardiel> so thats why hds got down



-------[Exile version, first upped to FS 981126]-----

The Truth about Hades

First of all:

Buj should have checked out this info before posting it,
secondly, Cardiel is a fucking mis-informed gimp.

That being said, here are the true facts about hades:

- Affils:
	 Class CHQ,
	 MFD WHQ,
	 PFT WHQ,
	 DMS WHQ,
	 Rise WHQ,
	 TRG WHQ
 
  Note that Hades has NEVER been associated with KAC, nor with devotion at 
  ANY time during it's existance!

- The FACTS:

- The root password for the machine was never changed.
- TictacTo was running about 23 apps under xwindows just about everytime 
  that i was logged in.  The load of the machine, when the site was idle 
  was usually 1.1 - 1.4 (NOT GOOD).  This completely killed the performance
  of the site when there was a release, so we told him, either stop using the
  resources, or stop hosting the site.  He chose to stop hosting the site,
  and from what I heard, became a KAC shellbox.


Exile
Former Hades Siteop

=----------------------------------=-------------------------------------=

=---------[ Lesters Movie Reviews ]----------=

   Sure he's a prominent scene member, leader of the #1 courier 
   group, and former "Miss Scene 1995".. But did you also know that 
   in real life, Lester's real name is "Roger", and he hosts a popular 
   syndicated television show, where he plays a big fatass who has 
   nothing better to do with his time than go to every single movie 
   ever released?  Well.. now you know.. 


Meet Joe Black
Starring Brad Pitt, Claire Forlani, Anthony Hopkins
Rating: (3 stars / out of 4)

I was kind of surprised that this film was any good.
I only saw it because Very Bad Things wasn't playing at the time.
But the premise is a little iffy, Death taking over Brad Pitt's body 
and hanging out trying to hook up on an old man's daughter. They make 
Death have the mentality of a small child, and so it's funny, but a little 
iffy, you might expect Death to be a little more together after a few million years. :) But, the movie is funny and somewhat sad, so I do suggest seeing 
it, bring your girlfriend and relax, earn some points. ND is rushing me so I 
end this now.


=----------------------------------=-------------------------------------=

-----------[The Scene News]-----------

All the news thats fit to print... 
and then some...

-Dee left this week.. Sorry to see him go. Whether or not you
 liked the guy or not, you had to respect him for his old-school
 values, and his attempts to keep the scene clean.. Guess
 he'll be able to have sex with his CRX full time now, or
 something.. ;p

-RiSC has a new council: coolio, bender, eternal, and someone
 else.. blah. RiSC sucks, they should just make KRUZIN leader
 and leave it at that.. ;p

-group moves: dee quit ngt, [Kane] to QSR, bootman to DMS(wtf?), 
 clubbr to DMS, (another nice pickup for them), intent to THD.

-MnM has finally been disbanded, and last i checked, #millenium
 had been taken over by a bunch of Y2K doomsday cult members..
 BAHAHAHAHAH!

-QSR = Quicksilver = lame, cause they haven't kicked darkieX
 yet.. ;p

-PERT_Chart_Expert_v.1.5a_Win9xNT-DOD   What the fuck?? A DOD
 release??

-MFD is the best cracking group in the scene, and the revitalized
 LND are the best of utils.. Both are this week's prize winners..

 This weeks prize? Sex With Stix.

-PDM, wtf are you doing?  Tomb_Raider_3_Sound_Fix-PARADiGM... a 50 meg
 fix?? come on.. we all know thats a sound ADDON, not a FIX.. ;p

-Glen.. wtf are you doing?? Oh.. i know.. you when out, and copied
 NWR, renamed it, and then wrote some really shitty article about 
 shit you know nothing about.. ;p  Uhh.. we've seen that before, 
 it was called RVL, and its getting a little old.. ;p
 You're lucky nd+lester don't give a shit, or you would be owned.
 BAHAHAHAHAH!!...  phear.. ;p

-In quake action this week, pixel and smokey got owned by ndetroit, and
 mgd kicked all their asses.. Sorry, i just felt like sharing that.. ;p

-LATE BREAKING NEWS: glen quits MnM!  after proclaiming that MnM was
 the best group he had ever been in, glen quit MiLLENiUM tonight,
 after being stabbed in the back by one of its members.. Apparently
 comments he was making in the #mnm channel were being pasted out
 of context to various members of the scene. The backstabber did
 not come forward, so glen has left the group, citing the fact that
 he cannot work under conditions like that.

-I have just one thing left to say, and that is:
 Sabrina.The.Teenage.Witch-RiSCiSO
 Another fine RiSC release.

					-sky masterson
=----------------------------------=----------------------------------------=


--------[Stories from the Watercooler]----------

Ahh yes, rumors, we all love them even though we love to say how much we 
hate them when they are about us. And these are some of the better ones
circulating around this week. Email us or find us on irc if you have a 
good rumor you'd like entered, your name will not be included, but we
do not add rumors like that say "Tdpriest is having anal sex with Fusion"
because we know that Fusion is only having sex with Xtremist and therefore
there is no hard evidence of that rumor, so if you have real rumors, let us
know. Let's begin!


-Rumor has it that cls will take a large US site to fill its affils
 hole.. Nothing confirmed yet, but a powerful CLS source suggested
 that is the direction they are looking

-Rumor has it that mandrake and george are still HERE in the US,
 enjoying their time together in LAS VEGAS.. no word on the nuptials
 yet, but apparently mandrake was thrown out of the flamingo hilton
 after become violently drunk. He stripped naked, jumped on top
 of a craps table, and proclaimed "I'll have another Scotch!! 
 Gimme something older than me in a GLEN!!"

-Rumor has it that REVOLT is set to make a large comeback..
 well... i don't know if thats a rumor or not.. but.. apparently
 they are.. or smth.. ;p

=-------------------------------------=--------------------------------------=


Well friends.. Thats about it. If you've read this far, we sincerly thank you.
We like to know this thing gets read, so if you get the time, drop one of us
a quick msg, and tell us what you think, give us suggestions, tell us it sucks,
or just say "hi" to us!....

Greets fly out to: jaydee, mgd, stix, tdp, hr, eci, jamili, raptor, skill,
mandrake, zeus, speedy, subzero, superfly@okcomputer, dee, sj, paledeth, dur,
tech+his crew, Kusa, ssava, acidapple, and all the rest of you that we love...

Find us on IRC in #nwr, (channel commands: !nwr 23, or whatever issue you want), 
or email us at our phearsome address:  (that may or may not still work!)

netmonkey@penis.com


take care..

peace.

                                       -ndetroit + lester.

NWR 11/30/98

