                    NETMONKEY WEEKEND REPORT ISSUE #5!

        Issue Number FIVE BABY!  We seem to be the only emag out there that's
stable, coming out on time and giving everybody what they want.  There aren't
any "real" problems other than the people who got dissed by the Anon Bias
Util report as well as Lester's report.  On the brighter side of things,
NoS and LS are back up and ready to rock again.  If you havn't been readded
to these sites, msg the ops.  Some news, which will probably be told in
detail.  Geno and Morbid have left RiSC!  I guess they won't be dominating
like last week.  So DMS lost Grad, RiSC lost Geno.. will Devotion lose Garoto
or Snakeeyes?! =) enjoy this weeks' Report. There is also a change in format,
we hope that you like this new format, it provides a lot more information.
Once again, we have Lester's weekly biased courier report, with juicy info. :)

                                                                - NWR Staff

Note: LS and NOS are not included in this weeks scoring, since they have
just gotten back up


the top ten sites for this week are:

x3 MP -*- STH -*- FH -*- ET -*- FS
x2 NoS -*- LS -*- FOS -*- LA -*- HDS


STATS BABY! 

                     ----NETMONKEY WEEKEND REPORTS----

trader     group   MP STH FH ET FS FOS LA HDS   pts       pos       lastweek
Garoto     DEV      2   1  3  1  1   1  0   1   181       [1]          [2]
MossyOak   MNM      7   4   4  4  6  2  1   3   144       [2]          [0]
Allanon    DEV      4   3   0  5  4  3  0   2   118       [3]          [0] 
Stix       DMS      6   2  10  7  5  0  0   4    89       [4]          [0] 
Grad       iND      1   0   1  3  0  0  0   0    84       [5]          [4] 
Snap       EQL      8   7   9  6  7  5  7   9    78       [6]          [0] 
Bizzy      RiSC     0   0   2  0  2  0  3   0    70       [7]          [6] 
Geno       iND      0  10   7 10  8  7  4   5    61       [8]          [1] 
Lester     DMS      9   0   0  0  3  0  2   7    56       [9]          [8] 
Godbless   ATMX     3   0   0  0  0  4  0   0    38      [10]          [0]  

 
Group Charts --=
      group            pts             pos      lastweek   # of weeks in nwr
       DEV              299             [1]        [2]          [5] 
       DMS              145             [2]        [4]          [5]
       iND              145             [2]        [0]          [1]
       RiSC              70             [4]        [1]          [5]
       EQL               78             [5]        [0]          [3]   
 
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Lester's Biased Courier Report!@

Well here it is kids, my little tribute to JJ's biased utils report from INQ.
and of course it's biased because how could I be objective when I run
Dimension, I hate Risc, and I'm fathering Xtremist's child? I can't, so
I'll be biased and make fun of everyone..:) Enjoy, and remember dont get
so upset, it's fun to make fun of yourself.
So the format is like this, I'll review each group, and then I'll point out 
some interesting things from the week and whatever else I feel like saying.
Rating System is whatever I feel like making it..:)


Let's jump right to the ratings this week shall we?

Dimension: Not quite the performance we've come to expect this week, though 
still #1 or #2 on most sites, but overall a step down from the usual performance
So I take this chance to yell at my ppl and tell them to step up again.

Overall:  Lazy

Risc:  Risc lost Gen0 and Morbid this week, a brutal blow considering Gen0
was their only highlight for trading this past week. Without Geno & Morbid
risc does not have alot going for them except for the return of Bizzy
Pre's and the occassional Thug trading day. 

Overall:  Keep your head up

Devotion:  I heard a rumor Sneeze quit, but I haven't looked into it, been
a busy week for me, so I'll just go ahead and assume he did, I'm sure
someone will correct me if I'm wrong. So since he quit, that is further
evidence that the new devotion is not what the old devotion was. But
their performance still consists of Garoto the ironman, and Allanon the
inconsistant but good, and then Dragoth the PRM Prewh0re:) But still
big meggage between the 3 of them.

Overall: In Limbo

Atomic-X: Godbless kinda blew up this week, we'll see if they can keep it
up, because A-X is making a push to be noticed again, so we'll see if
they can keep it up, I give them like a most improved award or something

Overall: Good Job

Vengeance: Ugh, Xtremist claims retirement more and more often. And other
than that, nothing is happening. Grimr has not produced a single meg since
joining and we get the occassional appearance of Hitop or Daman, but
still no consistancy or real force on any site, unless it's Xtr and PRM
pre's. So that's disappointing.

Overall:  Riding a Dead Horse?

Milllenium: Mossyjoke is BACK, phear! We all should retire for he is TOO
good, and apparantly sleeps 2-3 hours a day for he is connected to sites 
21-22 hours a day, but we'll just pretend we didn't notice that. Good
trading week for the Jokester, but alot of pre's and stuff too. Mom &
Dad must be proud, that college degree has improved their sons' trading.
Other than that, Sibannic is the only other MNM guy making any waves,
and they aren't very big ones. But as mossy always used to say, as long
as he is active, MNM will be fine. (no ego there eh?)

Overall:  One Man???

Weekly Happenings: I've decided not to break it out day by day, because
who really gives a fuck either way huh? If you prefer daily events,
msg me or just deal with it. Because I only do this to rant and joke
around, so if you take this seriously enough where my format bothers you, 
then I truly do feel sorry for you. So let's see, I was pretty busy this
week so I'm sure I missed some good fights and things I can exploit, but
I did see the Geno/Morbid quitting risc thing, which is pretty big I guess.
But there isn't a whole lot for me to say about it, because I can't
make fun of them because I am happy for them that they are out of Risc:)
Uhhhhhh Union was pretty upset with me this week about my comments towards
MNM :) So I had the same discussion I've had with numerous Dev ppl about
the fact that I am not dictating facts, I am dictating biased opinions
to amuse you ppl. So lighten the fuck up ok? "ESPIRIT" was pissed as well
because I called them newbies when apparantly they've been around
for awhile, so like my apologies or some shit. Well this report kinda
sucks this week. So I'll go ahead and apologize for that too. I could
keep ragging on MossyJoke, but like it's too easy and wouldn't be any
fun for me to write and less fun for you guys to hear what you all
already know:) Well since the editors seem to be ready, I'll just end
it here. One last thing, try to do more stupid stuff that I can exploit
ok? Thanks:)
