                _____ _             
               |_   _| |__   ___      
                 | | | '_ \ / _ \
                 | | | | | |  __/
                 |_| |_| |_|\___|   
                _____ _____ _____                
               |     |   __|  _  |  _____            
               |  |  |   __| |_| | |_____|                 
               |__|__|_____|_____|
      ______                             __________                  
     / ____ \                _____      |____  ____|   ____          _
    | /    \_|___  |\     /||__ __||\    | ||  |  _   |    \  |\    | |
    | |      /   \ |  \_/  |  | |  |  \  | ||  |/ _ \ |  ~ /  |  \  | | 
    | |     _| O | | |\_/| | _| |_ | |\ \| ||  |  __/ | |\ \  | |\ \| |
    | \____/ \___/ |_|   |_||_____||_|  \__||__|\___\ |_|  \_\|_|  \__|
     \______/
                                   E-MAG
                                   
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                      The Neo-Comintern Installment 14
                        We are The 5th International   
                              April 12th, 1998
                            Editor: The BoSS MC 
                        Assistant Editor: Komrade B           
                                  Writers:                                                 
                                    BMC
                                 Komrade B

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                        Featured in this installment:
                     The Plight Of The Proletariat- BMC 
                        Weather Traffikers- Komrade B 
                          
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                       THE PLIGHT OF THE PROLETARIAT
                                  By BMC                                 
                               
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------


        Well, to break it down, I moved to London and now I have to find a
job.  I don't like the thought of job hunting, because it seems like it is
more tiring than actually working a 9 to 5.  Every day I look for jobs, it
will be 50% more difficult to maintain a positive attitude.  This figure is
based on the fact that I have been looking for 3 days now, and I have only
12.5% of the enthusiasm I had the first day.

        Now, it is entirely possible that a igga like me could excel at a
job like fast food worker or janitor, but I am looking for a job more along
the lines of Navy Corporal or neuro surgeon.  I have been rejected from a
few jobs along those lines, but considering the fact that I don't have access
to a car, it is all fair and well.  It's kinda funny, but there are no jobs
for E-Mag writers or editors in the London Free Press.  Funny, indeed,
considering the many many ads that saturated the pages of the beloved Star
Phoenix (though they were generally paid for by me, but that's
another song).  

        I was at a book store today, and I noticed an entire section
dedicated to "Find A Job" and "Working On Your Resume" type books.  I think
these writers are talentless hacks who can't find their own bloody jobs, so
they write books to convince someone else that they have all the answers.
The main reason they write books is probably to make others think that they
really could find a job if their lazy asses wanted to.  It is only a
coincidence that their entire lives are paid for by the money, perhaps even
the last dollars or grocery money of the unemployed.  This is a disgusting
idea, you must agree.  They charge outrageous prices to the poorest people
in our society.  They could at least deliver thier stupid glibs for free, or
at least for bargain prices.  Now, some people consider me a modern day hero,
and I will not dispute that fact, so here is my FREE guide to finding a job;
the same simple rules that I myself have been following:

(keep in mind that because it is free, I will not make any claims that it
will work; in fact, it will probably destroy all chances of you actually
getting a job)

        -On your resume, make sure to indicate that you are a G-I-A-N-T
        -Let your potential employer know that you are an active socialist
         radical
        -Hmm, ok, that was the proverbial one-trick pony

        Now that I've made a fool out of myself, much like one does when
applying for a job, we are on the same level, and I can continue with my
discursive dissertation.

        If Canada, or at least London was Communist, I would be guaranteed
a job from the government, though I would probably be sent to the caverns to
mine copper.  This would be better than no job at all, I suppose, but the
rub would be that I would return home to my basement apartment to a feast
of raw beets and lard pudding.  So, although I have no job, I am still better
off than the bulk of the uninformed masses. Time.


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                             WEATHER TRAFFIKERS
                                By Komrade B

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
                               

        Now it is time for you to think about some very relevant things.
The people who traffic in weather.  Why does the guy here always buy shitty
weather? Think about that.

        Also, think about the fact that when we are in control we are opting
for more pleasant sunny days instead of this pricey cold weather.  And
instead, this cold weather shall be sent to France to make the dreary
existance of the monster labour campees even that more dreary.

        Also, think about the guy who invented work. I'd like to kick his
ass. Think about that, and on the same topic I'd also like to kick his
brother's ass.  You know, that guy that invented eight hour days.  Think
about that.

        People always start off small talk with the weather.  Those that
don't are weather traffikers, and must be defeated.  I propose that small
talk start off with politics and more importantly Communism, and the many,
many pros, and so very few cons that only actually apply to the Fascists
anyways. Thank you

The End


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  Copyright (c) 1998 Comintern Publications and The Boss MC 
  All Rights Reserved.                            #14-4/12/98
