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 -    -   -  - -- -------===========================------- -- -  -   -    -

  s u b v e r s i v e   l i t e r a t u r e   f o r
  s u b v e r t e d   p e o p l e
                                           j a n u a r y   1 3 t h , 2 0 0 2
                                                         e d i t o r - b m c

 -    -   -  - ----==={ I N S T A L L M E N T   1 8 5 }===---- -  -   -    -

                                                             w r i t e r s :

                                                                 h e c k a t
                                                                       b m c

 -    -   -  - ----==={        F E A T U R E S        }===---- -  -   -    -


                             Guest Editor's Note
                                  by Heckat
                                                               
                           The History of Gobbie Gee
                                    by BMC


 -    -   -  - -- -------===========================------- -- -  -   -    -
                          e d i t o r ' s   n o t e
 -    -   -  - ---==={PLEASE DO NOT READ THE FOLLOWING!}===--- -  -   -    -

  Today the N-Com has the pleasure of bringing you a tale of mirth and
  revelry that has been brewing in the pot since before the year 1100.  I
  won't say much more, in order to preserve the purity of the piece;
  however, I will leave you with an ancient limerick for your thorough and
  intense pleasure:

  Thar wunce was a slog dwarf of Got-ham
  that was feared bye all paupers of Bot-tam
  hee wund engle a lyre
  but held dranc maest dearr
  hees teeth war two longe spikes and rot-tum


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                          THE HISTORY OF GOBBIE GEE,
                       the Slow-Minded but Fast-Acting,
                       who for his behavior came to be
                             King of the Goblins.

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  Now it must be said first off, and this is a measure taken to dispel any
  false expectations, that this is not intended to be a tale of mirth; these
  tales are not fictitions created for amusement, such as Merriments,
  Conceits, Flashes, and Whimsies or Scoggin's Jests are; to the contrary,
  all of these stories are based strictly upon fact.  It should also be made
  apparent that this book of stories is not writ with intent to ridicufy its
  subject as Doctour Boorde did attempt (and yet did fail) to do to The Wise
  Men of Gotam.  To the contrary, these tales are true, glorious, and writt
  in no spirit other than that of honour and respect.  The accounts herein
  detail the life of a young and gentlemanly goblin called Gobbie Gee of The
  Forest Nottingham, the firstborn son of Gobblie Jobblins (a reputable
  tradesman in the craft of bowing and fletching and farmer of cereal
  crops), wand'ring ascetic, noble knight, defender of King Hemoglobe,
  slayer of Proteus, and protector of all Gobleonia.  Here thou will hear
  tales from his mystical beginning, through his upbringing and training,
  and finally of how he acquired the legendary status that brought him fame
  from his place of birth to the distant reaches of Cincinnati, Nebraska and
  beyond.

  At this day it seems that all people are familiar with the name Gobbie
  Gee, but many forget the tales of this greatest great goblin.  I vow that
  upon a time when the world was in a better frame, the tales of Gobbie
  brought light to a child's face as though it did harness the energy of the
  great yellow orb that circles above and below this beautiful land; these
  tales were told before battle by generals to their soldiers to inspire
  bravery, and maidens did receive such pleasure from these stories that
  they did reject married life.

  So when thy mind is like a cup that is half empty of inspiration, simply
  read of these tales and thou will find it becomes, yes, now half full;
  when the streets become plagued with vermin and pestilence, you will
  retain good health; when the atmosphere does become poisonous, simply
  read on to create a field of fresh air; when a curse is placed upon you,
  say these tales aloud and, like an incantation from Gobbie Gee himself,
  the curse will be lifted and you and your heirs will live in a state of
  peace and contentment.  Even when it seems that it is not the proper
  occasion to read of the legend of Gobbie Gee, do so any way and it will
  magically become appropriate.  That being said, I urge you to read forth
  and to share the tales within amongst your merry drunken kinsmen, friends,
  fellow warriors, children, maidens, priests, strangers, lepers, dogs,
  cats, bats, rats and especially the goblins, those who Gobbie smiles down
  on from heaven and favours the most greatly.

  Amen.

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                          OF THE BIRTH OF GOBBIE GEE
                            And His Kidnapping by
                          Oberon, King of the Faeries.
                       
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  On a time during the seventy-sixth harvest after the great flood, Fellow
  Gobblie Joblins (a master of bowing and fletching by trade) did receive
  news from the physical doctor that he was to beget a young son, the which
  he did determine to call by the name of Gobbie Gee.  Gobbie Gee was also
  the name of the father of Gobblie's father's father.  At hearing news of
  this birth and the name of the child, the people of Nottingham did
  thrill.  Gobbie Gee the Elder was the subject of legend in those fair
  streets and, in fact, he was the one who brought the ideas of a free
  market economie to that forest town.  Gobbie Gee the Elder did create the
  Goblin Market, and hearing his name spake again as the Son of Joblins made
  everyone verrie happy.

  But one who did hear the name Gobbie Gee spake was made not happy by it.
  For this person the memory of Gobbie the Elder was as bitter as wormwood.
  He was known by mortals as Oberon, King of the Faeries.  He did recall how
  Gobbie the Elder did encourage or suggest the trading with people of other
  lands and even cutting down Oberon's trees and selling them to the people
  of other lands that would use them for evil ceremonies.  But the forest
  was Oberon's to protect and when Gobbie the Elder created the thing that
  did make the size of the forest become thin, the King of the Faeries put a
  curse upon the house of Gobbie.   Oberon declared that all who did descend
  from Gobbie the Elder would be nothing more great in life than single
  people of business while other families conglomerated or joined to formed
  big groups that over some time would become hard for regular persons to
  compete with.  This Oberon did intend to be the full punishment, but upon
  hearing the name Gobbie Gee the Younger he became angered and decided to
  do a thing that was rash.

  The night that Gobblie Joblins did give birth to his son, Oberon did wait
  outside with a changeling to leave in young Gee's stead.  With time being
  of short notice, Oberon could not get a changeling from his regular
  supplier so he offered the job of changeling to an unemployed student
  goblin who went by the name Hob Gobling (whose birthname was Hobert the
  Third, son of Bobby Gob).  With promise of victuals and days of leisure,
  Hob did agree to this deal in an instant.  That night, when Gobblie
  Joblins fell asleep, Oberon made off with young Gobbie Gee and Hob Gobling
  secretly took place in the father's arms.

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                             OF GOBBIE GEE'S TIME
                              Spent with Oberon,
                            and Why Gobbie Gee was
                          Returned to Gobblie Joblins.

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  The first thing that Oberon did after abducting Gobbie Gee was to observe
  him in order to learn whether or not Gobblie Joblins would be able to
  notice any difference between Gobbie and Hob.  After making careful sight,
  Oberon noted that that both did look the same to him (although he did
  claim that all goblins did).  But Hob had a stronger physique and he did
  stand at four cubits whilst the newborn Gobbie was only one cubit tall.
  Other than this discrepancy, Oberon determined it would not be possible
  for Gobblie Joblins to tell the difference between his own child and the
  changeling.  But that is where we will leave the story of Oberon for now.

  Gobblie Joblins awoke to find Hob Gobling suckling at his bosom and he was
  mildly shocked.  He did delight to see that his son had grown as much in
  one turn of the golden orb as most children do in three harvests.  Apart
  from this, Hob was fluent in several tongues and already had learned how
  to use numbers.  He also did studie and practice art and physical
  medicine.  A blessing, said Joblins, for I was told by my physical doctour
  that my child would be cursed with a simple mind and also an acute
  affliction of badness!

  After a couple of days of bringing Hob to the market with him and teaching
  him what he could about his trade, the entire town did buzz with news of
  the greatly talented son of Gobblie Joblins.  In fact, Hob did teach
  Gobblie several ways in which to improve the way his bows and arrows did
  work.  The wares of Gobblie Joblins came to function so efficiently that
  people from Gotam and York would travel to his forest town of Nottyngham
  to purchase them, and he would introduce each one to his talented son who
  would then play a song for them on the lute or calliope or perhaps present
  them with a painting or sculpture.  Praise to god and to the faeries and
  to the sun and moon, said Gobblie, for it does appear that a chance at
  success does at last appear to me!

  That night when he returned home, Gobblie did find Oberon waiting for
  him.  I am Oberon, said Oberon to Gobblie.  Gobblie, not being as well
  versed in faerie lore as he should be, did not know who Oberon was, so the
  greatest bower and fletcher in the forest of Nottingham sat down to tea w
  ith the most powerful god of the forest and Oberon did tell him who he
  was.  Then Oberon did say he could not bear no longer to take care of
  Gobbie Gee who did refuse to learn or to control certain processes that
  Gobbie did insist were natural and not to be tampered with.

  To this Gobblie Joblins did insist that Hob was by right his true child.
  He did insist that he was responsible for his genetics and education and
  that since he bore the child he must be rightful owner of it and not of
  the sickly wretched red little lump of goblin matter that Oberon insisted
  was the real Gobbie Gee.  Then he did realize that although like Gobbie
  all goblins in his family were red Hob was actually green and therefore
  not his child.  But still Gobblie did refuse to take Gobbie Gee.  I will
  take Gobbie Gee back on one condition, said Gobblie Joblins, you must let
  me keep Hob Gobling as well.  It was a great sacrifice for Oberon, but he
  knew it would be a greater cost to be forced to keep Gobbie Gee and he did
  concede and let Gobblie keep both of them.  Oberon then did apologize for
  his abducting Gobbie and did also thank Gobblie Joblins a good many times
  for taking the burden of this child back.

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                           OF HOW GOBBIE GEE LEARNED
                                To Ride a Horse.
                       
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  On a day when Gobbie Gee had matured and grown for a good many circles,
  Gobblie Joblins did decide that he was old enough to help him at the
  Goblin Market.  When Gobblie Joblins left for the market he wrote a
  message to Gobbie Gee.  That day when Gobbie Gee awoke he found the
  message from his father telling him to ride the horse to market and bring
  two large sacks of rice.  When Gobbie Gee read the message, he became
  confused.  He had never ridden a horse but was intent on following the
  commands of Gobblie Joblins.

  First Gobbie Gee did approach the horse and tell it to lay down so he
  could ride upon it, to which the horse refused to reply.  Gobbie Gee then
  demanded that the horse pick up the sacks of rice while he went to get a
  ladder to climb onto its back.  When Gobbie Gee returned, the horse had
  not moved at all.  Gobbie Gee understood that if he wanted the horse to
  bear the sacks of rice, he must fasten them to it with rope.

  First Gobbie Gee tied both sacks to the right side of the horse.   The
  horse leaned to the side and could not stand properly so Gobbie Gee
  corrected the misbalance by tying two rocks to the other side.  The load
  became too heavy and the horse refused to carry it.

  Feeling sorry for the horse, Gobbie Gee did remove the its burden and
  fasten rice and rocks to his own back.  Then Gobbie Gee climbed upon the
  horse's back so the horse could carry him while he carried the rice and
  rocks.  At last Gobbie Gee climbed upon the horse and then he did poke it
  with his golden spurs.  The horse began to run backwards or at least it
  did seem that way to Gobbie Gee who sat facing the horse's hind.

  After several days of riding this way and that way through hill and
  countryside and cities and towns, without ever knowing in which direction
  he was going, it fell out so that Gobbie Gee did reach the Goblin Market.
  Gobblie Joblins had spent nights looking for his disappeared son who he
  did believe had been abducted by mercenaries or eaten by cannibals and the
  two sacks of rice likewise eaten.

  When Gobbie Gee did finally arrive, Gobblie Joblins was delighted by the
  recovery of his rice.  But when Gobblie Joblins opened the sacks he did
  not find the rice but two large rocks.  Gobbie Gee explained that riding
  a horse was tiring and that he needed to eat the rice to keep his
  strength.  Gobblie Joblins did pretend to have compassion, but did also
  secretly wish that Gobbie Gee had chosen to eat the rocks instead.
  Gobblie Joblins then set the rocks beside his shop and in an instant an
  alchemist did ask to buye them for a score of electrum and claim that they
  were a rare substance known as nitre.  Gobbie Gee observed the price that
  the alchemist paid for the stones was equal to the worth of ten bags of
  rice.  To this Gobblie Joblins quoth, Shut up Gobbie Gee and fetch me more
  of these rocks!

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                          OF GOBBIE GEE'S USEFULNESS
                               in The Marketplace.
                       
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  Gobbie Gee was told the next day by his father Gobblie Joblins to bring
  six bags of rocks with him to the Goblin Market.  Gobbie Gee was no longer
  allowed to ride the horse (but do not fear for he could walk with two bags
  of rocks over his shoulder and the market was a very short distance
  away).  Gobbie Gee did fill two sacks with nitre (as it was abundant
  throughout the yard of Goblie Joblins).  He then did carry them on his
  back, but, before he could head toward the market, his brother Hob Gobling
  interrupted him.  Hob at this time did practice art and medicine and he
  requested that Gobbie Gee travel to the Eastern Bazaar and fetch him some
  charcoal for sketches and brimstone for preparing skin medication.

  All though Gobbie Gee had to travel in the opposite direction to get these
  things, everything was close together at that time in the world so he did
  go to the Bazaar happily and it took him a very short time to get there.
  After buying the items for his brother, Gobbie began home carrying the
  nitre, charcoal and brimstone.  As he walked he noted that there was a
  stampede of buffalo in the distance and since he had never seen one before
  he decided to get a closer look.

  The whole herd of buffalo ran over Gobbie Gee and his burden, some in one
  way and some in the other.  At that time Gobbie Gee came close to death
  but was still strong enough to gather the items that had all been trampled
  into powder.  He put as much as he could into the two sacks and returned
  home.  Hob greeted him at the door but was angered when he realized that
  the supplies had not been delivered as he had requested.  Hob became angry
  and did cast one of the bags of worthless dust into the fire.  When the
  substance ignited it created a great explosion and destroyed the small
  wooden house owned by Gobblie Joblins.  Hob was horrified and Gobbie was
  oblivious.

  Minutes later, when Hob realized what had happened (and Gobbie was still
  oblivious) he did seek out the second bag that Gobbie had brought home.
  Hob Gobling did test it in many ways and thereby learned that this powder
  was incendiary and would also blow up in certains.  He decided to call it
  paft-dust and declared that it would perfectly function with his new
  creation, the which he called a truncheon.  Me know there is already a
  weapon called truncheon, quoth Hob to Gobbie Gee, but whan the world sees
  this weapon, the people will forget about that old weapon entirely!  (And
  by my troth they surely did.)

  Hob gaveth the truncheon to Gobbie Gee and told him to take it to their
  father Gobblie Joblins.  Gobbie Gee did then leave for the market and when
  he arrived there Gobblie Joblins got angry at him and asked him where the
  nitre was.  Gobbie told him that he forgot to bring it because Hob blew
  the house up.  Gobblie Joblins was confused and furious and Gobbie Gee
  told him not to be sad because of the great tool he had brought to give to
  Gobblie Joblins.

  Gobblie Joblins was not impressed and said that no tool could repair his
  broken heart.  Gobbie Gee then fired the truncheon, that which harnessed
  the power of paft-dust, and projectyed with force a rock that hit the
  towne alchemist and killed him.  Gobblie Joblins was afraid of the power
  the truncheon had.  Then Gobblie Joblins became angry because the weapon
  was greater than his bows and arrows and once the goblins had a chance to
  get their own truncheons (Truncheons? quothe Gobblie Joblins) the arrows
  and bows of his shoppe would no longer be worth anything in battle or in
  the market.

  Gobblie Joblins eventually realized that his sons were the creators of
  paft-dust and truncheons and that he could help to build and sell
  truncheons.   No bodies else knew how to make them or how to make
  paft-dust.  After a very short amount of time of selling truncheons,
  Gobblie Joblins became wealthy enough to buy a stone castle that could not
  be exploded or burned down by paft or fire.  His weapons became legendary
  and to this day weapons designed and branded by Joblins and sons can still
  be found in Gobleonia.

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                            OF GOBBIE GEE'S SERVICE
                             In the Local Monastery,
                         and What Reaction He Recieved.

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  After Gobbie Gee did unwittingly kill the alchemist that lived in the
  forest town of Nottingham, a replacement alchemist was needed.  For this
  Hob Gobling was chosen and this meant that he would spend the next four
  turns of the orb away at universitie.  Gobblie Joblins bade Hobert Gobling
  farewell and asked that he take Gobbie Gee along with him and drop him off
  at the nearest monastery.  To this Hob agreed, understanding that Gobbie
  Gee was too great for Gobblie Joblins to care for in his olde age.

  In the morning Hob Gobling and Gobbie Gee began to travel South in the
  direction of Hob Gobling's universitie.  Before nightfall the brothers
  came across a monastery.  As the abbot welcomed them in, Hob noted that
  the he was not a goblin but a human!  Humans had magical powers at their
  command.  Hobert had heard tales of humans consorting with devils and
  spirits and exchanging knowledge with dryads and nymphs and being in
  league with trees and brooks and taking oaths of allegiance to the earth
  and sky.  The humans were rumoured to harness the powers of sun and wind
  and perform feats most mystical through their cunning and ingenuitie.  The
  abbot gave Hob Gobling a hecatomb of copper in exchange for Gobbie Gee and
  this pleased Hob as he could buy a new smoking pipe with the money.  But
  before Hob departed to leave for universitie he warned Gobbie Gee to be
  careful of humans because of their magical and evil powers.  As Hob
  Gobling spake, Gobbie Gee nodded repeatedly and continued to do so even
  after Hob left the monastery and continued on to his destination.   

  The next day at the monastery Gobbie Gee began training.  The first thing
  the abbot did was dress Gobbie Gee in sackcloth and make Gobbie take an
  oath of celibacy.  Both of these did Gobbie Gee embrace since the
  sackcloth was more fashionable than his regular clothes and the oath of
  celibacy would serve as an excuse for something that he had long been in
  self-denial about.  Gobbie Gee thanked the abbot for this elevation in
  class and dignity by offering him a truncheon as gift.  When the abbot
  asked Gobbie Gee what it was and how it worked Gobbie Gee began to
  repeatedly fire the truncheon at some monks who were meditating nearby.
  After killing several of them (the which Gobbie Gee referred to as lickin'
  shots) the abbot asked Gobbie Gee to stop and proceeded to give him his
  first lesson.

	You sweet lil goblin first of all I say
        Kill one more and live not another day
        Now watch and listen as I healeth they
        Killed by demonic weaponry

	To learn to revive they this is thy chance
        So watch as I dream into the trance
	And listen as I speak incantations	
	That will heal a wound from truncheon or lance

  Gobbie Gee did not watch or listen well enough to learn how to restore
  life but by mimicking as much of the ceremony as he could remember he was
  able to heal small wounds.  For example, he would often surprise one of
  his fellow monks by stabbing him venially and healing him afterward.  This
  was practically a joke and was considered to be well and tasteful at first
  but with time came tedium and many of the monks petitioned that Gobbie Gee
  be removed from the monastery.  When the abbot confronted him with this
  news, Gobbie Gee responded by stabbing and healing him.  At this the abbot
  took Gobbie Gee's knife away and sentenced him to die.

  Gobbie Gee smiled softly as the abbot began to chant the spell that would
  end Gobbie's life.  When the abbot had nearly completed it, Gobbie Gee
  stopped him for a moment and asked for a glass of water.  This destroyed
  the abbot's concentration and bewildered him so he complied and went
  through the back door to the well to draw a pail of water.  The abbot took
  a long time to do this and Gobbie Gee became bored and went for a walk.

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                          OF HOW GOBBIE GEE WANDERED
                                 As an Ascetic.
                       
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  As Gobbie Gee left the monastery one monk began to weep for Gobbie's
  safety.  I will not allow thee to perish, said the monk.  Gobbie Gee did
  not understand his safety was as risk and stood in a state of non-moving.
  Run, said the monk, or the abbot will certainly murder thee!  Gobbie Gee
  still did not understand and the monk decided that he would need to trick
  Gobbie Gee in order to see to his safety.

  The monk said, Hey why don't thou wander around the countryside as ascetic
  that would be funny.  So Gobbie Gee did just that.  The first thing he
  determined to do was to learn what an ascetic was and the next would be to
  become one.  As Gobbie Gee attempted to go back into the monastery to ask
  the abbot what an ascetic was, the monk stopped Gobbie again and turned
  him round until he was pointed away from the monestary.

  He instructed Gobbie Gee to begin walking in a straight line and never
  stop.  Gobbie Gee agreed that he would fulfill this command forever.
  Remember to eat and sleep, said the monk to Gobbie Gee as the little red
  goblin ventured out to seek his fortune.

  As Gobbie Gee wandered he passed people and cities and animals and forests
  and never once did hee stop walking forward.  For example, there once was
  a time when Gobbie Gee approached upon a group of humans in the forest who
  did attend the sermon of a mystical teacher.  The teacher raised a lotus
  blossom in the air and did not speak.  The disciples stood in awe and
  waited for the teacher to say something.  Noticing the reaction the people
  had to this sermon, Gobbie Gee became disenchanted with humanity and
  walked up to the teacher, grabbed the lotus blossom and ate it, spitting
  the chewed up pistil out all over the students in the front row.  For this
  the teacher heralded Gobbie Gee as the wisest saint who ever lived and
  offered up his following to the young goblin.  Gobbie Gee simply nodded
  his head and continued walking.

  Some of the students began to follow Gobbie Gee, and in time the group
  came upon a small town where a prophet did perform miracles.  It was a
  great spectacle and people from all around did gather to be healed and
  cured and blessed by this man who claimed to have mysticall powers.
  Gobbie Gee approached as the man was restoring a blind man's sight.
  Gobbie Gee considered this to be a small feat and proceeded to show how he
  could remove the vision of a sighted man.  To do so he struck at the eyes
  of the prophet with his walking stick.  All of the people who had gathered
  were impressed by this display, and although Gobbie Gee offered to teach
  the prophet of the miracle of removing life, the prophet declined this
  demonstration and declared Gobbie Gee the greatest performer of miracles
  to have ever lived.

  With this accomplished Gobbie Gee had become convinced that he had
  mastered the art of being a wandering ascetic.  This was much to his
  delight, as his monk friend from the monastery would now be proud of him.
  Gobbie Gee thought deeply about his life and accomplishments as he
  continued to walk.  He reached the ocean's coast and continued to walk
  until he was completely submerged.   Indeed he did walk until he reached
  the bottom of the ocean wherefore his followers could no longer follow him
  for fear that they (like they believed of Gobbie Gee) would drown and die
  without light nor air nor food.

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                       OF HOW GOBBIE GEE SAVED THE KING
                        From Revolt, and of his Reward.
                                                     
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  Gobbie Gee continued to walk straight underwater until his journey led him
  to the city of Atlantis.  When he arrived there the nymphs and octopuses
  greeted him and told him to stop and visit with them.  Upon this command
  Gobbie Gee discontinued his straight line and began his life anew.  As the
  underwater creatures guided Gobbie Gee to the castle to meet the king,
  Gobbie Gee looked around and saw a wide variety of creatures.  Among them
  were catfish and junipers and cod and sea elves and blue lobstars and sea
  weegies.  Gobbie Gee was very pleased by the sights of Atlantis.

  Gobbie Gee was brought into the castle's throne room and it was here that
  he met the immortal King Proteus.  When Proteus questioned Gobbie Gee and
  asked him about his political and cultural affiliations and allegiance,
  Gobbie Gee did not answer and this angered King Proteus.  Soon the king
  learned of Gobbie Gee's powers to heal and to hurt.   He forgave his anger
  as he learned of these powers and decided that they would come in handy as
  King Proteus launched his attack on Gobleonia.  Thus King Proteus
  recruited Gobbie Gee into the Atlantean army.

  Although no histories of King Proteus exist, detail of the Protean rule
  can still be found in the several ancient and nondescript myths known as
  the Atlantean archives.  It is known that Proteus was but a foul villain
  and did illegitimately usurp the crown from the Weegie Knight.  Proteus
  was also a lout and a thief and when waging war would destroy anything he
  could not enslave or sell.  This is of significant matter because the war
  he was about to wage against Gobleonia would prove to be the most fierce
  and bloody conquest in the history of war if it were to succeed.  Proteus
  planned to murder every goblin and to wipe out the goblin culture entirely
  so that no trace of their existence would afterward remain.  If Gobbie Gee
  did then know this, he would have attacked Proteus anon in defence of
  justice and safety in the goblin empire.  But in truth he did not know.

  Gobbie Gee lived like a pharaoh under the sea for a lengthy amount of
  time.  He did not have to work because he was allowed to eat in the royal
  stable and sleep at the foot of Proteus' bed.  He did not have to bathe
  because he was always under the water as such was the nature of the city
  of Atlantis.  Gobbie Gee did not have to worry about anything but being
  Gobbie Gee and that was certainly no worry to him.  While Gobbie Gee was
  living well as the most regal king, the Atlantean army trained for battle
  and Proteus did continue to make plans to attack the capital city of
  Gobleonia.

  When it was time to wage war on Gobleonia, Proteus ordered Gobbie Gee to
  lead the troops to the capital of Gobleonia.  Although Gobbie Gee did not
  know the way, he attempted to lead the troops to the main city.  He took
  them on a lengthy voyage through the country meadows and over mountains,
  banks, bush, and bogs, guiding them on twisting trails through hillside
  and through desert and tundra where eventually the tired and weakened
  troops were intercepted by the Gobleonia royal guard and all were arrested
  and charged with treason except for Gobbie Gee who was made an honourary
  knight of Gobleonia for his brave effort in misleading the Atlanteans
  through every part of Gobleonia until their numbers were depleted due to
  climate conditions and starvation and the goblin force had become powerful
  enough to wage a successful counterattack.  They took Gobbie Gee to
  Gobleonia castle and he felt a great sense of accomplishment for having
  finally discovered its location.

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                     OF HOW GOBBIE GEE USURPED THE KING
                            and How His Rule Began.
                       
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  When Gobbie Gee arrived at Gobleonia Castle, King Hemoglobe was thrilled
  to see him and spared no expense.  There was a great feast and the Muses
  themselves were called in to perform that evening's music.  Gobbie Gee was
  declared an honourary knight and as the night went on, Gobbie Gee won the
  court's favour with his antics.  Many a glass of honey mead was drunk and
  many toasts were made in honour of Gobbie Gee, who one knight declared to
  be the strongest, bravest, wisest soul to have ever been born in the royal
  country of Gobleonia.  As the festival become intoxicated, King Hemoglobe
  went so far as to announce that Gobbie Gee was to become honourary king of
  Gobleonia for one turn of the orb.

  This (The Festival of Gee) is still regularly celebrated and it is
  observed out of respect for and loyalty to Gobbie Gee and in memory of the
  merriest and most decadent celebration ever hosted in Gobleonia country.

  The next day, as Gobbie Gee sat at the right hand of the throne, King
  Hemoglobe was hung over and was holding open court to determine the fate
  of the captured Atlantean soldiers and King Proteus.  Hemoglobe allowed
  them into his court one at a time and allowed them to plead their case.
  After hearing what each had to say, he would turn to the counselors and
  say, Execute Him!

  After this happened many times, Gobbie Gee also learned to say this
  phrase.  At a point when a prisoner would plead their case, King Hemoglobe
  and Gobbie Gee would speak in unison and both would sayExecute Him!

  This pleased King Hemoglobe and after all of the prisoners had been taken
  to the gallows, King Hemoglobe handed the throne over to Gobbie so he
  could begin his honourary reign.  With one phrase in his mind (which he
  did not understand the meaning of) Gobbie Gee pointed at King Hemoglobe
  and repeatedly said, Execute Him, Execute Him!  This was considered highly
  unorthodox and strange by the counselors of Gobleonia but since Gobbie Gee
  was king they obeyed his orders and Hemoglobe was taken out of doors and
  hung.  Thus began the rule of Gobbie Gee, King of Gobleonia.

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                               OF THE FIRST DAY
                           of the Rule of Gobbie Gee,
                              and What Came After.
                             
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  As Gobbie Gee was recognized as king of Gobleonia his subjects asked
  important questions of him.  Gobbie Gee, said they, how wilt thou rule
  this fair country?  As the advisors began to council him on the benefits
  and malefits of royal providence and tyranny, Gobbie Gee did interrupt
  them by saying, I declare that to-day is cookie day and that everyone in
  this country of my owning will be given a cookie to eat to-day.  For this
  Gobbie Gee was commended as a hero for there was a great famine in the
  West and his gift of food allowed the peasants to live another happy and
  healthy day.

  As great hero and savior of Gobleonia, Gobbie Gee became known as Gobbie
  the Wise and his reign was the most glorious in goblin history.  He was
  king for a great many years and he did see the people of his land through
  times of prosperity and fierce war.  That is where the real story of
  Gobbie Gee begins, for his life until this point is flavourless in
  contrast to the amazing tales of battle and mirth that surround his
  triumphant and good rule over the empire of Gobleonia.

  As the end of the firste part of this story draws nigh, we must think back
  upon his birth, his abduction, his young life, his devotion to the
  spiritual, and his acquisition of the throne of Gobleonia.  And thus ends
  the first chapter of the story of this goblin of all ages.  The second
  part of this story will feature tales of the return of Hob Gobling and the
  Dragonomachy and of the benevolence of Gobbie Gee and of his wisdom in
  international trade and the details of his marriage and the naming of his
  successor.  If it please the reader, this book indeed will be followed by
  a second, also written by the author hereof.

  Amen.


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