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Issue # 1 -            Seductive Monkey Poses 0
                                               \/___,

	From the editor: This is a new zine which will contain a variety
of things. If you have any suggestions or comments feel free to e-mail me
at Jane@digital.csionline.com . Thank you. -Jane


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February 19, 1996

I killed a man tonight
I stabbed him in the heart
he screamed and he bled
the look in his eyes before he fell
made me shudder.
but that's ok
because everything will be better in the morning, right?
I lied to my father today.
I told him a falsehood to cover up what i had done.
I lied well for the first time
You should have seen how gullable he was, 
and how he believed me.
i feel guilty now,
but that is ok - everything will be better in the morning.
I deceived my lover today.
He will never know of my affair with another man.
I gave another man what i promised to my lover.
But that is ok it is almost morning.
	
						-Jane


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             "to swallow the butterfly"


I see the horses I feel the pain
Raising my umbrella to repel the rain
Trudging the muck of an unrecognized destiny
Paying the price of a disingenuous felony
Grasping a hand that isn't there
Grating the lettuce with none to share
Sharing the emptiness i feel inside
Killing the fear i try to hide
Walking the road i reluctantly travel
Covering the dirt, blood. and gravel
To swallow the butterfly i rid the pain
Pulling the sword of the dragon i'd slain
Weeping the loss of a familar friend
Completing the task to the very end
Riding to the sunset i have conquered my fear
Chivalry lives shedding more than a tear
Peeling the rank of an impeccable prince
Living a peasant without dollars but cents


By Starfrog        Copyright 1996

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                                     ---------
                     One day.. I was going shopping at the grocery store.
                    Jubjub was there to. It might be noted that we got 3
                   boxes of fruit rollups.. which are addictive. If they
                   illeagelized them.. the price would skyrocket. Everyone
                   I know is a junky. Since this is supposed to be a buisness
                   lesson.. or at least the title says so.. I think I will
                   put in alot of ways to earn money without having to
                   actually do much work.
                                                                          
                             LESSON ONE: The Fruit Rollup Scam
                                            ---
                            For advanced fruit rollup scammers only
                                            ---
                             Ok.. what you do.. is go to a grocery store,
                            And scope out the fruit rollup section. Then..
                            have your partner start making a little
                            distraction.. such as running naked through the
                            aisles.. yelling "I'M A REPUBLICAN NUDIST!!"
                            or something like that. Most of the security will
                            be called in to restrain him/her (works best with
                            a female <winkwink>).Then fill up a shopping cart 
                            with all of the fruit rollups or spinnoffs on
                            display.. and run off. Most of the security will
                            be gone from the door.. and the rest just run
                            through. Make sure to conceal your face. Your
                            partner usually gets off with nothing but a slap
                            on the wrist or a rat tail in the ass or
                            something. When you get him/her out of jail, go
                            to another grocery store.. with you making the
                            distraction this time. Once you have cleaned out
                            most of the big suppliers.. you can pick junkies
                            off of the street and sell the stuff for an
                            inflated price. Another trick is to divert trucks.
                            Just be creative.

                                                     -Nybar
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Look for the next lesson in issue 2 of SMP!!!!!
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Random thoughts:

	"If you ever shoot yourself in the mouth with an AK-47 , just
remember that you'll probably lock your grip down when the first bullet
penetrates your brain, so don't put more than one bullet in the clip, or
you'll waste all the rest of that ammo shooting a dead man."
							-Gaurdian

	"Sometimes I think if I let Forest Gump inspire me, that I would
end up on some train heading who knows where and not coming back for a
long time."
							-linuXchic
	"...girls are dumb."
                                                        -metalchic

                          GRAMMER PROPER -NYBAR!!!
                         ---------------------------
                     Nybar "I think that cheese is good. Tastes good"
                     Mogel "It does? By the way, use grammer proper"
                     Nybar "Oh.. ok.. I will use grammer proper"
                     Mogel "And put me not in anymore of your ridiculous
                            stories"
                     Nybar "Ciao."
                     Mogel "Bye."

&-<>-&-<>-&-<>-&-<>-&-<>-&-<>-&-<>-&-<>-&-<>-&-<>-&-<>-&-<>-&-<>-&-<>-&-<>-&

Any questions , comments, suggestions or submissions : send to 
   Jane@digital.csionline.com

Look for issue #2 soon!
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(c) SMP Published , produced and edited by Jane
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