Imaculate
 Septic
   Tank
  _||_______
 /  *sparkle \
|             |
 \___sparkle_/

06.13.2003 | Imaculate Septic Tank | Issue 1          Written/Edited by SBJ(sweetbrainjuice)
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


Hey and welcome to the first issue of the Imaculate Septic Tank. I just got bored and threw this together, I dont know if you can tell. Im the only one writing any thing so far, but if you want to submit something just email me at despimp@ameritech.net. Enjoy.


._____.
:Life?:
:_____:

Even though I belive in some of the ideas put forth in the matrix, when i say that i can break a brick with my hand because neither my brick or my hand exist, i dont not belive this in the most literal sence of the word. All my life i have felt there was some thing queer about  my existence, i have felt this since my earlyest memorys. I have never really been able to put my finger of what exactly it was. When i was 10 i thought it was that I didn't existed, when i was 14 i thought it was that no one existed. Now i belive that noting exists in the way most of us belive it exists, the only thing i know for sure is that if i know the truth now or at any time in the past i havent been aware of my knoledge of this universal truth. I find it hard to belive that i could be aware of the secret of the universe and it not effect me in some profound way, so i must assume that i have not yet found what it is about existence that grinds away at my soul.

I believe that the moment is near when by a procedure of active paranoiac thought, it will be possible to systematize confusion and contribute to the total discrediting of the world of reality.
-Salvador Dali

 ____
|Hate|
|____|

I just ate a fist full of Advil chased with a bottle of asprin and synthetic rotton mango juice. If I felt disconected before now i feel entirly unplugged. Im not high but im not here. Atleast not in entirty. I spoke with a freind of mine on AIM about that just before i took the advil. Here you go:

SweetBrainJuice: you know
SweetBrainJuice: i have become mildly disgusted with my self
xXLazlow1Xx: I think we've all been at the phase.
SweetBrainJuice: the problem is i dont want to fell diferently
xXLazlow1Xx: what?
SweetBrainJuice: self lothing makes me feel connected
xXLazlow1Xx: oh
SweetBrainJuice: i may hate my self but at least im sure that I exist
SweetBrainJuice: its a wretched ,horrific, and shamefull thing to be unsure of your own existence
xXLazlow1Xx: you've got a point.....but I'm at that time in my life where in all honesty I don't give a shit that I don't exist...but if I am indeed someone's dream I want them to wake the fuck up.
SweetBrainJuice: i felt like that until very recently
SweetBrainJuice: i tried very hard not to care about anything
SweetBrainJuice: but sadly that not the way it works
SweetBrainJuice: indiffernce must be a natral function
SweetBrainJuice: that is its nature
xXLazlow1Xx signed off at 9:41:06 PM. 

Abondoned agin by my comrades in the trenches. I hurtle through the universe alone and now un plugged from the network that is reality. I am so alone, I wish I didnt care.

 _______
|Suicide|
|_______|

As of late i have been switching between about 3 buddy icons, 2 of witch are animations of women with large breasts playing with their breasts. The third is a gif and a real woman playing with her breasts. This conversation about me cutting my time locked in the mortal coil short started when i aswitch my icon to some thing completely new. A pack of Marlboro cigaretes.

xXLazlow1Xx (12:04:24 AM): nice icon
SweetBrainJuice (12:09:22 AM): thats my brand
SweetBrainJuice (12:09:40 AM): you got to love the cancer sticks
xXLazlow1Xx (12:09:51 AM): oh yea........cancer sticks all the way
SweetBrainJuice (12:10:15 AM): with out them i would have to find another way to justify slow painfull suicide
SweetBrainJuice (12:10:19 AM): :-D
xXLazlow1Xx (12:10:36 AM): like od'ing on vitamins daily.
SweetBrainJuice (12:11:26 AM): or shaving an inch off my fingers every day with a dull rusty razor
xXLazlow1Xx (12:11:54 AM): wouldn't lock jaw eventually set in?
SweetBrainJuice (12:12:04 AM): perhaps
SweetBrainJuice (12:12:24 AM): but the whole point is to end your life in the most round about way possible
xXLazlow1Xx (12:12:28 AM): along with a bunch of other gross conditions
xXLazlow1Xx (12:12:30 AM): like staff infection
xXLazlow1Xx (12:12:37 AM): lol
xXLazlow1Xx (12:12:39 AM): guess so
SweetBrainJuice (12:13:01 AM): i acually knew a guy that tried to kill him self by cutting his fingers open
xXLazlow1Xx (12:13:25 AM): and I'm gonna take a guess here and say.......that didn't work at all
SweetBrainJuice (12:13:33 AM): i didint know him when he tried to kill him self but i knew him when he was younger
SweetBrainJuice (12:13:41 AM): no it didnt work
SweetBrainJuice (12:14:51 AM): he got half way up his index finger and relised that the pad of your index finger has almost as many sensation nerves then the tip of your penis
SweetBrainJuice (12:15:03 AM): so he stopped and went to the hospital
SweetBrainJuice (12:15:15 AM): fucking pussy
xXLazlow1Xx (12:15:21 AM): lmao, does it?
SweetBrainJuice (12:15:25 AM): yeah
SweetBrainJuice (12:15:27 AM): it does
xXLazlow1Xx (12:15:37 AM): hmm didn't know that
SweetBrainJuice (12:15:43 AM): thats why people cut their rists and not their fingers
SweetBrainJuice (12:16:04 AM): wrist cutting is stupid to
SweetBrainJuice (12:16:27 AM): because unless you really really really drink to much or anemic you will clot up way before you die
SweetBrainJuice (12:17:09 AM): you have to keep you wrists in water while they are bleeding in order for them not to close
SweetBrainJuice (12:17:21 AM): and that takes for ever if they are under water
SweetBrainJuice (12:17:44 AM): because the water pressure slows the blood flow somewhat
SweetBrainJuice (12:23:14 AM): maybe i ranted a bit to much.

Well that it. Untill next time kiddies, Love you neighbor and his wife. All night long ;-)
