                                                                    [22/07/02]
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                      << F0RB1DD3N KN0WL3DG3 IZZU3 XVII >>
              [ K-R4D 4LL-N3W V0LUM3 *5* : "THE PH34R TH4T W0Z" ]
         
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                         1Z PR0UDLY PR3Z3NT3D D1R3KTLY-T0-Y0U BY...

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                    """""                                                       

                                       *** THE DOG GOD !!!!! ***
                                   ^*** DOG!! G0D!!! D0G!! GOD!!! ***^


                                 . . .
                                   
              PR0PZ T0 MY H0M13Z!@# ; H1 M0M! ; B1G UP...

                                 . . .


      __     ..___             f               __a._    ,  , g              
   _Z##@            "----  J,__U_ __     -     ,s_  ""- 8_ @ Q              
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                                                                           "~ 
                             -* TH3 KR3DZ *-.

   DUN BY: Y0R 3L33T ED1T0R: K-R4D WZD VVVVV: W1TH TH3 H3LP 0F *ALL Y0O D0RX!*

   R33D TH1S BO0K: 'Invisible Monsters' by Chuck Palahnuik
   E4T TH1S BR3KFZT CER34L: N0 FUQN C3RE4L!@# BKFZT CER3AL 1Z F0R H0M0Z MMK!#@
   W0TCH THE3ZE MO0V1EZ: 'Even Dwarves Started Small', 'Cannibal Holocaust'
   W0TCH THE3ZE MO0V1EZ: 'Even Dwarves Started Small', 'Cannibal Holocaust'
   W0TCH THE3ZE MO0V1EZ: 'Even Dwarves Started Small', 'Cannibal Holocaust'
   L1CK MY AS5: I AM S3R10US!$#@

   NOOOO0000OOOOOO000OOOOO!!!!!

   HERE 1Z S0M3 M0R3 V3RY R4D1KL BMP2ASC! OK!

   __                                                                           
     ~-..__  9 ]L 8   -- a.,_____          8             ___,___--              
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             * ?L T   -"^^                 #             ` " ---    ""          


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              *######*#####g      \a   ""  ,_JL     '#""""""@@###9              
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                    "     \g_      @Q#55@8@[        d                           
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                      ###B#___,        j#@         `"""""                       
                                   gp_a#@  _,__g                                
                                   "M#d##g##4""                                 

                * * * d . 3 . s . 7 r . u k . t i 0 n * * *


' There is a kind of religion in science; it is the religion of a person who
  believes that every event in the universe can be explained in a rational
  way as the product of some previous event.

  This faith is violated by the discovery that the world had a beginning under
  conditions in which the known laws of physics are not valid. When that
  happens, the scientist has lost control. He reacts by ignoring the
  implications, or by trivializing and calling it the big-bang, as if the
  universe was a firecracker.

  For the scientist who has lived by his faith in the power of reason, the
  story ends like a bad dream. He has scaled the mountains of ignorance; he is
  about to conquer the highest peak; and as he pulls himself over the final
  rock, he is greeted by a band of theologians who have been sitting there
  for centuries.'
                        - Dr Robert Jastrow, former director of NASA's
                          Goddard Institute for Space Studies.


BR34K1TBR43K1TD0WNBR34K1TD0WNBR34K1TD0WNBR34K1TBR43K1TD0WNBR34K1TD0WNBRKBR3KBR
3K1TBR3KBR34KBR34KBR34K1TBR43K1TD0WNBR34K1TD0WNBR34K1TD0WNBR34K1TBR43K1TBR3$KB
BRKBRKBRKBRKBRKBR3KK1KBRKBRKBR3KK1BR3KK1TBR34KBR34KBRKBRK1DWNBREKBR3KBRKK1TYBR


     ________,,,...........                 .........______
$$$$$$$$$½½½½½½½^^^^^                                      '''''"""???zz.   $$
   ^?$$$                                                                `?; $$
     '$$       k0nt3ntz 0f th1Z, l1k3, t0tally m1ndL3sz kr4p #17         $;$$$
      ?;                                                              ,,?;I$$$
     ,"________________________________________________________..,,##½½½',  $$
  _.+                                                                     +.,;

      --- [ F34TUR3D 1N TH1Z ISJU3 ]

      <00> "My Anus iz Huge" by Pneuma
      <01> "The Gronch That Ate New York" by I.P.Daley

      --- [ FR3E 3LE3T B0NUS M3D14 ]

      <99> Sum Stuf
      <98> Sm Othrr Stufs
      <97> Impossibly ko0l kover art by rawdata

,?'
$$;
$$$QQQ####,,,,________________________________           _________    ______ _
^^^^^^^^^""""""


     __... .                                                   . ...__
  d$$^^                                                             ^^$$b
.?$;                                                                   ;$$;:;,
_.                            k-R4D 3D1T0Ri4L                     ._ ,;:;,, _.

[30/06/2002]

Today I was for-real arrested for the first time.

It was at 'The Mall of Rosebank', where I was wandering around bored, by
myself, thinking about how much I hate ppl, how ugly this place is, wotwot..

And there were these 'crime stop' ppl, standing at the foot of the escalators
collecting money, and there was this mingan old chiq with a 'stop crime'
t-shirt whining 'help stop craaim, rosebank police..'; and they had all of
these tiny yellow safety cones with 'POLICE' written on them, and they'd
arranged them all along the ends of the escalator, and put one right on top of
this pole that you have to walk around to go up the up-escalator, which was
annoying.- Sew on my way baq out of the mall I pull the d0rkiest face I can @
the crime stop lady, pick up the cone off the pole, and start walking away,
towards the exit.

I'm just outside, and I'm beginning to wonder if these ppl r gona come after
me or not, when I hear a security guard whistling after me. The smarter, more
paranoid, distrusting part of my brain is telling me to throw the cone at him
as hard as I can and run like hell, but the more rational, domestic part of my
brain walks me over to him and tries to give him the cone & explain to him
that it was all just a prank.

But he's not interested in taking the cone, or letting me put it back, and he
grabs me by the arm & marches me off into the security control room, where I
get to re-tell my version of what happened to a million other security guards
who either weren't there or weren't listening, or only decided they had
something to interrogate me about at that moment..

One suggests that I am stealing safety cones today, and will be stealing cars
and breaking into houses tomorrow.

Another suggests that I am going to use the cone to pose as a crime stop fund
collector. I tell him that I'd still need a T-Shirt & a collection tin, and
perhaps some more cones..

I point out again that it was a simple prank, and that the cone does not have
any retail value..

One particularly moronic, agressive security guard starts pointing at the
cone, on the part where it says 'POLICE', and asks me 'What does it say here?'

'Police.'
'What does it say here?'
'..Police.'
'Value!'

Um.

'Do you know what is the meaning of value?'
'Uuh.'
'Do you know what is the, dictit of value?'
 Em, know 4u what is the meaning of 'definition', mor0n? ;p
I mean: 'Uuuh, yea, uhm, like.. it's worth..'

At one other point this same moron was asking me 'Hell to who?' repeatedly
after I had, perhaps, said 'hell' in some sentence, but I don't think I was
even talking to him, and I had forgotten what I said already, so I just looked
at him and eventually he shut up. Neway..

So I'm trying to hurry things up a bit - asking them if I can make a call,
asking them if I can fill in my ID number on the form they've taken out for
banning ppl from the Rosebank Mall in terms of the Trespass Act 6/59, but
they don't seem to be in much of a hurry and don't want me to do anything else
except answer their retarded questions..

'Do you smoke druks?'
'No.'

'Are you siek?'
'Uuh, no.'
'I asked you a question, are you siek?'
'Uuuh, no.'
'Are you on medication?'

Bla Bla Bla Bla Bla. Enter Mister Inspector K. Pillay..

The Inspector tells me about how hard he's been working collecting money at
the Mall, and how he had to do this on this day and this on this day, shame..

He asks if I smoke druks and if they've searched me; this they have done..

'I just want to give you a klap, meyn!'
'Can I give you a klap?'
'Uuh, ..No.'
'Must I give you a klap?'
'No..' ;p

He asks me something else which requires me to say more than one word.
'Why are you speaking like that? Are you a moffie?'
'No.' - I'm just soft-spoken & polite, not very much like you, diqhed..

I think that all cops have very strong feelings of some kind about
homosexuality, which are very prominent amongst their other mounting
obsessions which eventually make them decide to become policemen..

'I've been working na na na to protect our community' - 'and because of
monkeys like you..' Bla Bla. Clowns. Monkeys. The Inspector calls the police
station, and tells them to send some1 round to 'lock me up', and leaves..

Later enter two black policemen, and every1 get's to re-iterate their 2 cents
about what happened..

One of the two policemen in particular seems to think this is all a bit mad,
and says that he doesn't think this will stand up in court na na na, and they
talk about it, and the one policeman phones my dad on the phone a security
guard had previously told me 'couldn't call out' -
'hello, umm, your son bla bla bla. is he healthy, or what? we don't know..',
and eventually the two policemen consult Inspector Pillay on the issue, who is
adamant that I should go to jail or whatever, so they take out the arrest form
and start painstakingly filling it all in..

'What colour is the cone?' one policeman asks.
'Lime.' says the other..
'Lime..' the first one repeats, and writes it down..

'What is it? A traffic cone?'
'Safety cone.' I suggest.
'Safety cone.' The other policeman echos.

'How do you spell `cone`?' the first policeman asks.
'C-O-N-E-S' a security guard suggests..
'C... C-O-N-E' the other policeman says..

Bla Bla Bla Bla Bla Bla Bla Bla Bla Bla..

So eventually they finish filling out the form, and they take me out of the
control room, into the back of a police van, and off to the Rosebank police
station, where I sit in the back of the car for 10 minutes while the two
policemen have a chat. Then they take me into the station, where they put me
in a back room; not a detention cell, I notice, but a back room with computers
and papers n stuf.. I thought it a good omen that they had not thrown me in
a real holding cell yet, but as of yet I did not know what to expect.. And
it was Sunday, so I'd at least have to spend the night in jail until the
courts opened again the next day and they decided my case was too dumb to
actually be sent there..

My girlfriend calls, and I have a long-ish chat with her - she's all concerned
about my recent spate of kleptomania and me being in jail and all, and when I
get off the fone to her, I can hear my dad's boss's voice from the front of
the station. He's wearing one of the 'STOP CRIME' stickers they were selling
at the mall and he's telling the other policemen that Inspector Pillay says
it's ok to drop the whole thing and that they can fone him and check. Turns
out the Honourable Mr Pillay's change of opinion cost only a lousy 20 bux..
But the other policemen say that The Mall of Rosebank had written down that I
was arrested na na na, and another 100 bux later, they don't care either, and
magically, somewhere, somehow, justice, um, happens, and they let me go..

If you live in Jo'burg, look-up Mr Komoran Pillay's home phone # and tell him
you read about his fam0us ass on the effkay.org, and tell him that he released
one of ZA's most danger0us hax0rz to rape & pillage at will for a lousy 20
bux, and also that he is a gay-homosexual scrotum-scratching dog-raping
butt-bandit (write that down so as 2b sure that you get it verbatim mm'k)..

..Um. And that is all I have to tell you. ;) for now..

-ed.

;,                                                                       ,;;4,
,?;;$;,__________________________________________________________________,,7$;


     __... .                                                   . ...__
  d$$^^                                                             ^^$$b
.?$;                                                                   ;$$;:;,
_.                               ByT3w4R3z                        ._ ,;:;,, _.

---***----***------------(&*)--(*&)^---->%&^>
   [ Errata fr0m y0r ed. ]
---***----***------------(&*)--(*&)^---->%&^>

It's no secret - this e-zine; particularly earlier issues - were very bad,
and often, completely inaccurate. ;) Listed below are a few of the erratatatic
materialz that we hav releesed to the massez in the past; fUk1Ng Ko0l...

[ FK2: 'Hacking Through Windows 95 Plus! Security' by Wyzewun ]

  ^-- I cannot remember what this article was supposed to be about at all.

[ FK3: 'A Hint For Social Engineering Through IRC' by Wyzewun
  FK5: 'Protecting Memory And Addressing Part One' by wyze1
  FK5: 'Implications of Unrestricted Port Binding in NT' by wyze1
  FK5: 'A Lession in Lactural [ Lateral? ;p ] Thinking' by wyze1
  FK6: 'Protecting Memory And Addressing Part Two' [ waq! ;p ] by wyze1
  FK6: 'Securing RedHat Linux 6.0' by wyze1                                ]

  ^- These articles are, just, like, lame, is all. I apologise for having
     written them. While I'm at it, I may as well apologise for having such a
     kr4p e-z1ne and be1ng such an unele3t d0rk, bah..

[ FK6: 'Making Free Calls on Blue Payphones' by Cyberware ]

  ^- Nobody got this to work apparently. I don't think it does, coz the du0d
     who sent us this shit was this thick dutchman do0d azwell, sew lark...

[ Thought from Wizdumb in the credits of FK9 on the Quake3 engine & VRML. ]

  ^- First of all, everything *except* the engine in Quake3 is open-source,
     and I'm not completely sure what I wanted the VRML consortium to do with
     it, aEHEH. ;PP

[ FK14: Pestilence .c & .txt by Wizdumb ]

  ^- Some of you may have noticed that this post was never on BugTraq. ;>
     I believe it's a working concept; Maybe it was just obvious to every1
     else; or maybe my fUnNy mAnNeR annoyed the moderator. ;>>

Oh, and soundtraq muzak before issue 16 iz, like, mostly waq, so ignore it,
aEheAHea..


---***----***------------(&*)--(*&)^---->%&^>
Some Thoughts On 'Vodacom's World of Games' from the ed.
---***----***------------(&*)--(*&)^---->%&^>

I signed up for a free WAP account @ vodacom4me.co.za, and have since been
using the site a bit, to send SMSz n wotnot.. & while I was browsing around
there site, I stumbled across this thingy about 'Vodacom's World of [SMS]
Games' @ 0820008200 mm'k..

Basically what is here is: IDOLS TRIVIA (did not look @ this), SUPER12 TRIVIA
(emm, ditto), LOVE M8 (eHEH), and SMS Chat.. The SMS Chat is real, albeit
completely krap (altho it is spozdly international, w ppl from New Zealand &
China n w0tn0t, which wz y i wz vaguely interested in it in the first place)
-- we will cm baq 2 this..

The LoveM8 Game (Send 'LM PLAY' to play (after sending 'REG YOURNAME' to
registr a handle)); is *completely fake*, I am sure.. ;p

After you tell it u want to play it SMSz u & sez 'I am looking for ppl to play
with u bla bla, wil wait up to 10 mins'; then it SMSz u like 'ok, these 3
handles picked at random from our database are competing for your attention',
'your first question is: when @ the beach, do u wear A) As little as legal ..
Bla Bla Bla, and you send it 'LM A' - as little as legal - and it SMSz u baq
saying that every1 has rated u 100%, and then SMSz u again asking:

'For me sex is a _______ thing
 A) Physical
 B) Emotional
 C) Necessary'

So then u send it 'LM C', and it SMSz u baq and tells you that u were sposed
to pick 'B' and every1 is now rating u @ 50%.. Thing is, I can't figure out
how you get on the other side of this game as such, which makes me think it
is a complete SCAM.. ;)

[Ammendment by the ed: The LoveM8 game no longer features on Vodacom's World
 of Games; it is now an assortment of other, equally arbitrary krap..]

The SMS Chat seems to be real, but is very krap. I was drawn to it bcoz I
thought harassing lots of ppl for the cost of one SMS could be ko0l - Guess
again. After you've sent 'REG WHATEVER', and 'T2 HELP', followed by
'T2 ROOMS', followed by 'T2 ENTER ROOM', you're sent a list of handles that
are in the room. You then send 'T2 HANDLE BLA BLA' to whoever you think sounds
like they could just be yor true love. And g0d you'll have a hard time
choosing..

Real life example:
OZCHICK1: HI, ASL? [in response to] LOVEHUNK: [that's me ;p] HELO!! I AM MOST
PECULIAR TO FUCK YOU! IF YOU LIKE HAM & BOILED EGGS, THAN I AM YOR MAN.

Another One:
WENDZ2: SO DO I. SO WHAT U WAITING FOR? I'M LONELY & BORED. C'MON - ENTERTAIN
ME. I'M ALL YOURS
[AND]
WENDZ2: AND NOW? Y U SO QUIET?
[in response to]
LOVEHUNK: I WONT VERY MUCH TO PLEAS TUCH YOR BOOB PLEAS.

... lonely? ;p you don't even have to pretend you're not a complete moron or
    have a vaguely attractive personality to be the man here..

One more, slightly more extreme, real life example: ;p

SUSIE15: Hi. You can fuck me if you want, I don't mind. So what are you going
to do to me first? [in response t0; a variation of one of the above..]
LOVEHUNK: HELO! I AM MOST PEKULIAR TO FUK YOU!! IF YOU LIKE POLONY &
HARD-BOILD EGGZ - THAN I AM YOR GUY.
[followed by]
LOVEHUNK: FIRST AM I UNWRAPPING THE POLONY. THAN AM I MAKING THE SANDWICHES.
[followed by]
LOVEHUNK: NOW I AM PEELING OFF THE LAST OF MY POLONY WRAPPER & SHOVING THE
REMAINS HARD RIGHT UP INTO YOR WET STINKY PUNANI. LOVELY, SEE?
[no response]

Btw, after the first T2 message you send you will get an SMS that sez that
'T2 is a great way to meet people' and that you shouldn't send content that
could be considered offensive in any way; but the msgz r not censored
none-the-less..

Sew, like, the only kool thing I could think about this is using it to play
dumb pranks on your friends who don't know about 'Vodacom's World of Games'
by registering them for it quickly while they're out of the room with
'REG HANDLE' to 0820008200, and then deleting the 2 SMSz it will send them
baq. ;p

You don't have to make them join a room or anything, sew just the one SMS to
register them is sufficient to create an anonymous SMS pipe to txt y0r er0t1c
p03tRy to that girl in yor class that u f4nCy or wotevr..

Just send 'T2 THEIRHANDLE BLABLA' to 0820008200 on yor fone to harass them
anonymously, then 'REG NEW NAME' to change your handle and harass them more,
or wotevr, bla... The first T2 message they get from you will come with
another SMS explaining how to reply.. ;)


---***----***------------(&*)--(*&)^---->%&^>
Thoughts on Audio CD Copy Protection from the ed.
---***----***------------(&*)--(*&)^---->%&^>

The new Aphex Twin CD, druqkz (which is a highly recommended album, btw), has
a sticker on it reading 'This CD cannot be played on computers', which, as it
would seem, it cannot. Why? And what to do about this?

I figure it is probably just missing some industry-standard boot-sectory sort
of information, and if you were a re4lly klev3r fell0w you could just write a
driver to allow you to read it normally.

The easier alternative, if you just want to rip it, is plugging your hi-fi
into your sound-card's audio-in and ripping it through there. The main problem
with doing it this way is you'll have to record each track one at a time, or
make a rip of the whole album.

The same form of copy protection could arguably be achieved by making your
whole album on a single track, albeit it would annoy people and the other way
is obviously better. ;p

So, depending on what ur doing and h0w el8 u r, it may turn out faster to try
and write a driver to make these CDz work. Of course, it will also make things
faster for a whole bunch of other ppl, coz once sm1 has written a driver to
allow this, no1 els wil hav 2 do it. ;p

Comments on this, code?- ;p wzd@effkay.org


---***----***------------(&*)--(*&)^---->%&^>
On Vegitarianism, by the ed.
---***----***------------(&*)--(*&)^---->%&^>

Few people know that I have, for some years, been a fairly strict vegitarian,
and when they find out that I am, they usually have something retarded to say.

A little soapbox here for the case for vegitarianism.

My primary rationalisation for not eating meat is purely from a
socio-economical standpoint; in that: the amount of food that is fed to a cow
before it is eaten could feed *many* more people than that cow itself - if
you did Grade 9 Biology you will understand that this is the case, and that
eating cows on this grounds alone could be considered unnecessary, stupid,
and wasteful.

My other reason for being vegitarian is more moral -- If you acknowledge that
all animals (including ourselves), are all built of the same crap, and are all
equally and completely worthless in the universal scheme of things; you might
want to allow everything equal & fair treatment as you would like to recieve
for yourself.

The act of eating a hamburger is not morally wrong. The act of *buying*
hamburgers, and allowing, through your financial support, for more animals to
be bred & slaughtered, could certainly be considered morally dubious at least
to anyone who thinks about it with a clear conscience.

One argument I've gotten from non-vegitarians is that plants are alive too,
which is true, however: plants are clearly non-sensate - they don't have eyes
or ears; and they aren't really even sensate enough to experience death as
such - a potato can grow again after being out of the earth for months -&
they really don't know any better for when they are plucked out of the ground
and eaten; where-as a cow would most certainly be quite aware of its impending
death, and would probably already be somewhere else were it able to be..

But the most-used argument by non-vegitarians is that they actually just don't
give a fuck, which is fine - but it's generally indicative that they aren't
able to think as far as to why it's obviously completely fucked-up, and
unnecessary. [Re: Protein: Once inside your body all protein is broken up into
constituent amino acids- only 4(/14) of which cannot be synthesised by your
body itself, all of which are readily available in various non-meat foods]

I consider myself a bit of a nihilist, but actually, I think most people,
regardless of what they say they believe, are much more nihilistic and fucking
A-moral than myself. They think everything is a theory and don't have the
capacity to compute anything they might believe into potential fact. They will
claim to be people of religious faith, but the underlying truth is that they
CANNOT THINK and that they BELIEVE IN NOTHING AT ALL.

Arrg.

;,                                                                       ,;;4,
,?;;$;,__________________________________________________________________,,7$;


     __... .                                                   . ...__
  d$$^^                                                             ^^$$b
.?$;                                                                   ;$$;:;,
_.                                Malebag                         ._ ,;:;,, _.


y3 0ld3 f4v0ur1t3 m41lb4g, w1th k-r4d [] k0mm3ntz fr0m y0r el8 .ed, w0rd.

-------[ From: "Marc Howard" <xxxxxxxx@hotmail.com>
         To: wizdumb@leet.org
         Subject: hey there                                           ]-------
 
Man I was looking at some of the exploits that you sent to BugTraq--you are a
genious. [ sum hav caled me a genious, yes.. ] I guess you can say I'm a
newbie when it comes to hacking. [ Ok.. ] I wanted to know how did you get
into it and what books/methods would you recommend to others to get into it?

[ i g0T int0 th3 w0rLd 0f k-r4d h4x1ng bk0z ey3 w0z t0o ugl3e t0 k0ns1dr ne
  othr h0bbi3z. i w0z inSp1r3d bY tH3 cULT 0f tHe dE4d c0w, bk0z they d0n't
  ev3n h4v t0 wr1te/kn0W anyth1ng ab0ut hax1ng t3w b3e s3wPr-ele3tz.

  mY aDvYcE t0 y0o: yo0zE th3 PHF teqne3k & re4d the EffK4y. ]

--NewbieB0y

[ oK, RuZpEk. ]


-------[ From: "Ou Baas" <xxxxxx@mad.scientist.com>
         To: w1@antioffline.com
         Subject: Oooooh !! I ph24r !!                                ]-------

Oh Gr34t 1 
Damn, no good articles to give you, and I haven't had a idea in a long time,
never mind a good one, but what I do have is admiration and support !

Lead on and teach oh wize1. I sit at your feet and eat all your bullshit like
kandy. U are da man.

Also props 2 U'r crew. 4 ppl like me who have no brains the best we can do is
gawk at ppl who do have the mad skills.

Thanx for a entertaining and invormative e-zine. I downloded all isues and
read the first 5 issues in like 2 hours .... this IS the good stuf

I Ph34r !

[ aHEaHea, uhm, I like this mail. :) He, like, reffered to eating our feces or
  sumn; this guy iz ko0l. :P ]


-------[ From: "John Little" <xxxxxxxx@student.uq.edu.au>
         To: comments@effkay.org
         Subject: 13373r than a bucket full of 1337                   ]-------

hey all you leet people,
nice zeen, some great stuff even if you don't live in .za
are we likely to see more java stuff in the future? (just started really 
getting into it - i'm suprised more people haven't started coding attack 
scripts and other cool shit in it - socket programming SOOO much easier than 
c/c++).
n e way just wanted to say great 'zine, keep it up

[ Not very likely to see any Java code from me any time soon; If I think of
  a project I should write in it I'll use it, but atm I'm writing Perl code
  mostly, bcoz I em lazy & couldn't be bothered. Glad u like the 'zine... ;p ]


-------[ From: Jacob Pfeffer <xxxxxxxxxxx@yahoo.com>
         To: wizdumb@leet.org 
         Subject: HElp                                                ]-------

??I can't get access to my pc, running win 2000
prof...
Wants logon password, how to get around this? Got your
trogan but how to work it?
Got two other cracks, one is beatlm and the other is
sub 7, how to use them. I got alto of imp info on my
pc, I am a college student - microsoft basically told
me to reinstall. Can you help???

[ Uhm. Short Answer: No. Go Away. ;p ]


-------[ From: "Ronald Colijn" <xxxxxxxxxxxxx@hotmail.com>
         To: wizdumb@leet.org 
         Subject: Hacking an access database                          ]-------

Message
[ Don't you call me a fux1ng message!$@$@#$% ;/ ]
hey there,
[ Whatever ;/ ]
 
trying to get in to an Access database (probably 2000) but am new at this. I
found your code but don't know what to to with it (C/VB/Java?)

[ *Shrug* Maybe j0o should trY 0ur pat3nt3d effk4y skr1pt0 brutef0rc3 t3qne3k?
  Uhm; S0mething like th1s...

  $ gcc axz.java
  gcc: wtf 1z th1z cr4p? h3ll n0!
  $ ls a.out
  $ fuq mahn!
  fuq: command not found
  !: what iz this unh0ly fuqn t0k3n huh puNK?!
  $ vbc axz.java
  vbc: th1s lo0kz c0nfewz1ng - is th1s a r33l veebee k0d3?
  $ ls a.out
  $ javac axz.java
  javac: command not found ]
 
Help?

[ No Thanks, I h4ve th3 t3qn33k already. ]

Thanks, RC 


-------[ From: "wizdumb@effkay.org" <>
         To: wzd@effkay.org
         Subject: you wont remember this.                             ]-------

[ Oh dear... ;)) ]

you thought you slept. no
notice stuff different since you woke up?
check your rectum, he? wut i tell jo0!!
**note to wizdumb
  i emailed this to myself, you wont remember, i am wizdump
  the rules of the club you made up.**

1st rule of bitch slap club.
 - do not bitch about bitch slap club.

2nd rule of bitch slap club.
 - jo0 DUMB? i SAID no bitchin \'bout bitch slap club.

3rd rule of bitch slap club.
 - only two ho3s at a time

4th rule of bitch slap club.
 - only one bitch slap orgy at a time.

5th rule of bitch slap club.
 - no high heels, make-up, just knickers over head!

6th rule of bitch slap club.
 - when wh0re yells \"BROKE A NAIL\" slappin stops

7th rule of bitch slap club.
 - no members from women/transvestites against abuse.

8th rule of bitch slap club.
 - this is getting harder as i go on, the rules i mean :p

9th rule of bitch slap club.
 - only weapon allowed, rolled up hardcopy of 
   EFFKEY(issues after 14 only)

10th rule of bitch slap club.
 - killing the gerbil is optional.

11th rule of bitch slap club.
 - scratch rule 10, replace with 2. substitute 2
   with n+[NUMBER OF MEMBERS]/IQ of smartest member.
   Carefull of DEVISION BY ZERO!! [Devision.. Duhvision..]
   then enter new number back in list.

12th rule of bitch slap club.
 - adding any more rules is prohibited. and stupid.
   border line insane.

[13th rool of bitch slut klub
 - aEHaHeaHeaHeaHeaHaAeaEa EAheHAeAHea AHeaHeaHea aHEaHEHEaHEH!@$#]

[ NICELY, PLUNKETt!! .. ;pp ]


-------[ From: "Rishal Motiram" <xx@ravemail.co.za>
         To: comments@effkay.org
         Subject: help on solving algorithm                           ]-------

Wassup

[ Wassuuuuuuuup.. ]

Firstly, WELL DONE on an execellent e-zine, it rocks!!

My name's Rishal, from JHB, im 17 and in Matric. I need help on
solving the Vodago algorithm. I've been trying for a while now and had
no luck. Is there a check algorithm (like the Luhn Formula in credit
cards) or are the recharge vouchers just random numbers??

[ I suspect that they are randomly generated. ;> ]

And if theres is no algorithm then is there another way to get credit,
or maybe call and not get charged?? As u know the peak rate for
Vodago/4U (per second) is 6 cents a sec, thats R3.60 a min!, which i
feel is too fuckin much. I'll try my best to help as well but as i
said im in Matric so i dont have alot of free time.

[ 4U is 6c per second on-peak, or 1.5c ps off-peak (90c pm), which I think is
  pretty reasonable. And I am busy trying to keep my asz off the streetz n
  shit, instead of being a bum skoolkid like you, sew I don't exactly have
  ridiculous amounts of free time to dedicate to this stuf either, + I've lost
  interest + I don't care about you or anyone else + myself. ;~( So bleh. ]

Please reply as soon as you can.

[ I will put it on my action item list.. ]

Thanking you in advance,

[ Huh, Huh, I said 'action item'.. uh huh huh, huh... ]

Rishal.
_______________________________________________________________
 http://www.webmail.co.zathe South-African free email service


-------[ From: "ANTIGEN_ANTIZOL " <ANTIGEN_ANTIZOL@orphan.com>
         To: comments@effkay.org
         Subject: Server at www.w00w00.org Port 80                    ]-------


[ what u say is very interesting.. ]


-------[ From: "Vade97" <v9@realhalo.org>
         To: comments@effkay.org
         Subject: darling                                             ]-------


[ shut up!@# fuqn lemur!!$#@!#@ ]


-------[ From: "Zoogie" <zoogie@mnsinc.com>
         To: wizdumb@leet.org
         Subject: darling                                             ]-------


[ shut up!!!#@$ :( fukn leave me *al0ne* mm'K!@$ ;/ ]


=======*********************************======================================
-------[ FUQ1NG KO0L B0NUS STUFF!#$@$% ]--------------------------------------
=======*********************************======================================

This wasn't mailed in, it's some commentary on the zine that a reader found on
the web, which was too cool to go unpublished. ;p Thanks to w3stside for
pointing us to the URL...

----------------------------------------------------->>
[http://www.geocities.com/jayel2711]

25 JANUARY 2002, 14:10

I am almost 100% sure there is going to be a backlash for me for what I am
about to write but I call 'em like I see 'em. I just spent the last hour
reading an e-zine called Forbidden Knowledge issue 15 and 16 (the links are
where I stumbled across them). All I can say is that I have never ever read a
bigger load of crap in my whole life. The author is so full of hot air I am
suprised he has not spontaneously combust. I suppose that you are allowed to
be like that when you [are] young and you have some computer skills. You get
so lost in cyber space that reality becomes non existent. Kind of like those
fanatical Arabs that are so immersed in their religion that the world around
them actually fades into oblivion. Never mind that if it were not for reality
their escapades into delusion would not be possible. [int3rest1ng k0nc3pt y0u
h4v3 th3r3, b0yo.. tell me that again..]

A case in point in issue 16 is how the author rants about 11 September 

"Attacks such as the ones that took place on September 11th are not a problem
 that America can solve; because they *are* the problem. It just happens that
 some people have finally gotten sick enough of what America is doing to the
 rest of the world to take matters into their own hands. And I support them.
 So fuck you. American Facist Swine." Very brave in the faceless world of
cyberspace, however in the same article [issue] he recites how him and his
friend went to hide from the cops when they came to their house cause the
party was to[o] loud. [ ;p ]

The cops should have found your drugs then you could have been taught a lesson
in reality by "BUBBA" [*BY ``BUBBA''!!* :))] while you waited for your parents
to come collect you from jail.

One day when I grow up I want to bee L33t like that. 

Until next time 

Cheers 

Jayel 
----------------------------------------------------->>

[ Apart from the news sections with such riveting newz itemz such as 'My 2c
  about why exactly the EffKay suckz so much', there iz also a k-l33t0 IRC
  page detailing where u can l0kate this r4d do0d on the IRC, and *ahem* a
  'projects' page... ]

[http://www.geocities.com/jayel2711/projects.html]

PROJECTS

Being the kind of person I am, I start a million different things but never
finish any of them. This is my log of them.

I am currently in the process of trying to learn the following (all
self-taught cause it irks me to pay those ridiculous prices that training
"academy's" charge)":

Linux (RedHat 7.0) 

Perl 5 

Mysql 

FreeBSD 

PHP version 4 

Irc Eggdrop bots 

Apache Webserver. (Windows version cause IIS sux) 

----------------------------------------------------->>

Yaw, sew 0nce he'z finished his k-l33t0 pr0jektz of study and become a felow
so0p3r-el8 he w1ll, l1ke, 0v3rthr0w us w1th h1z madsk1llz or s0mething. ;p I
don't know what p0ss1ble k-dr4m4t1k b4ckla5hes he was reffering to at the
beginning of his rant about how much we suck, but, like, I published the d0rk,
so, like, aHEaHEA! :)

Tnq vry m0ch f0r re3d1ng the EffKAy.
Inkreese z Peece. Kill the fukcn white-man. Ok. ?

	- y0r el8 ed.

-------[ K-R4D K-K1EF K-FR3SH K-N441C3 K-PHHTPPPPHTTPHTPHFFPTHPTFFHTP ]-------

;,                                                                       ,;;4,
,?;;$;,__________________________________________________________________,,7$;


     ________,,,...........                 .........______
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  _.+                                                                     +.,;


           [ K-R4DN3SS 1Z 0N TH3 R1Z3!@#% LAMERZ PH34R!#@$ OKAY!#$ ]

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He's advancing closer towards me again, still holding the monkey firmly by its
neck.

"Oob Num Nub Nummm`Twa", he says to me.

"n0 w4y do0d" I retort, completely 3l33t-l1k3, "bc0z, like, y0u're only seeing
half 0f the picture. man. I mean; I look at y0r monkey there and i see a *s1ck
fuck1ng m0nk3y*; d1g?"

He pauses a moment to glance at the ape and then quickly turns his attention
back towards me, stepping right up in front of me now, holding the now quite
battered-looking marmoset directly in front of my nose.

..Or is it a lemur?

"Ooba Num-Fuf GIG!" he insists.

I pause for a moment to try and think, wondering how I could word what I
want to say so as to prevent the situation from becoming ugly. And I have a
horrible feeling that thats precisely what's about to happen anyway...

But, like, h4rk, c0z, like, what the fuck is going on, man? For suddenly I
realised that I was in fact not in that terrible place, but asleep in front of
my computer, the edit0r of a l0wly e-zine; and that the man was nothing more
than a figment of my tortured little chemically-imbalanced mind.

And I realise that I *am* the man, *and* the ailing monkey, and everything
else that had ever seemed real to me..

And I close my eyes again.. and seek to be nothing at all.

EOF.