---(OOooOO)--------How to be 3l337--------------------------------------(OOo-
---(OOooOO)--------by force---------------------------------------------(OOo-
---(OOooOO)--------force007@hotmail.com---------------------------------(OOo-



             "well, secOnd by secOnd and minute by minute,
             its like lOttO, yOu gOtta be in it tO win it"

this file is for all of you newbies/lamers that wanna be as eleet as
the people who keep calling you names on that newsgroup yes! it can be
done! just follow the simple steps below and you too will be able to
call people names and make yourself look good! what are you waiting
for? get reading!

 step 1
+======+
first of all you need to go down to blockbuster video
and rent out Hackers and Wargames watch them both
about 5O times then your ready for step 2

 step 2
+======+
you really need a computer to be eleet so beg your father
to get one tell him you need it for homework thats it! now
you have a computer!

 step 3
+======+
now you need to be able to access the internet so tell
daddy that you all of your friends can look at teletubbie
websites and you feel left out

 step 4
+======+
when daddy's gone out connect to the internet i know it's
very difficult but you have got that nice aol guide that
came free with it haven't you? thats it!

 step 5
+======+
you can now search for hacking and phreaking with a search
engine choose the one with the funny name Yahoo! well done

 step 6
+======+
go to all of the nice looking hacking and phreaking sites
read all of the writing and look at all of the pictures

 step 7
+======+
to be truly eleet you need a (00l-@$$ nickname/handle
either think of one yourself or choose one from the
following list.
o zEr0 c00l
o cRa$h 0VeRiDe
o CeReAl KiLLeR
o aCiD BuRn
the above names [as if you didn't know!] are from
Hackers the film so they must be eleet.

 step 8
+======+
get yourself an account with hotmail or yahoo mail and
use your new nickname so try to get something like this:
zEr0_c00l@hotmail.com

 step 9
+======+
open up your news server and read all of the posts in
alt.ph.uk alt.26OO alt.26OO.phreakz and alt.phreaking

 step 1O
+=======+
it's time for you to make your first post to a newsgroup
i suggest alt.ph.uk look through all of the posts until
you find one saying 'how do i get free calls' or 'does
red boxing still work?' reply to the group so everyone
can see how eleet you are write something like this:
'y0 laMEr! y0u arE s0 laMe i tHiNk i'M g0nNa pUkE,
wHy d0N't Y0u d0 s0mE reSeArCh bef0re y0u p0sT sHiT LikE
ThAt eVeR heArD oF a SEaRch eNgiNe? 0h yeAh teLL y0uR MuM
tHAt sHE 0wEs Me £1000000000000 f0r lAst niGHt l4m3r!'

 step 11
+=======+
incase you don't already know all eleet people write funny
with 0's, 1's, 3's and 4's instead of letters. writing like
that shows that you are truly eleet, you may ask why i'm not
writing like that well to tell the truth i'm not eleet, i wish
i was but i'm not

 step 12
+=======+
download mIRC and hang out in #phuk #2600-uk #evilhax0rs
#phreak #hacking #hackers and #2600 you should get to know
the regulars in the above channels and you will be able to
go in there anytime and chat about how eleet you are and don't
forget to call anyone you don't know lame and kick ban them
straight away and ALWAYS remember to flame all posts made in
alt.ph.uk it will make you look eleet and cool

 step 13
+=======+
learn html and java and use your skills to build your
own webpage call it 'zEr0 c00l's eleet hax0r warez palace'
and have loads of hacking phreaking anarchy cracking virii
warez stuff on there that you took from someone elses site and
pretend you wrote it. post the address to alt.ph.uk and tell
them that if they don't visit it they are lAmE-aSs pieces of
shit

 step 14
+=======+
now that you are well respected amoung other eleet people
you should join a hacking/phreaking group and hang out with
the eleet peeps if you can't find one or nobody will let you
join one start your own and call it 'eleet hax0r d00ds'

 step 15
+=======+
hack into a big website and change the homepage to say 'zEr0
c00l w0z ere' and leave your e-mail address phone number and 
your home address you will get caught arrested and put in prison
without trial this will make you look eleet to everyone else
and you will have achieved your aim! people will have little banners
on their webpages saying 'fReE zEr0 c00l!' well done! but by now you
will be way too eleet for this text file and will have deleted it
and sent me an e-mail telling me how lame i am
oh well...


