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			 N O V E M B E R   1 9 9 5 
=============================================================================

		DJ Johnson.................Editor
		Louise Johnson.............Assistant Editor
		Jim Andrews................Web Site Editor
		coLeSLaw...................Artist/Mad Scientist

			 - The Cosmik Writers -

		Jim Andrews..................Urbania
		Drew Feinberg................Drew's Views
		Steven Leith.................Political & Between Zero & One
		Steve Marshall...............Music & Record Reviews
		The Platterpuss..............Record Reviews
		The Old Man (Art Fridrich)...Old Man Radio Hour Interviews
		Scott Wedel..................Music 

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

		     T A B L E   O F   C O N T E N T S

			     -  -  *  -  -


 EDITOR'S NOTES - DJ says hi.

 THE GREAT SURF SUMMIT (Part 2) - Even better than last month, because there
     are new participants joining the original gang.  Bob Dalley (Surf 
     Raiders), Rick Escobar (The Woodies), and Phil Dirt (legendary Bay Area
     DJ) join in.  

 LABELLED: Upstart Records - An interview with Glenn Dicker.  Find out how
     he and his partners managed to land such an amazing lineup of bands
     so early in the labels existence.

 MOBILE FIDELITY - Steve Marshall examines Mobile Fidelity's newest batch of
     releases.  

 THE BEST CHANNEL ON TELEVISION - The fact is that you should tune in 
     C-SPAN, yank off the knob and throw it away.  Sound boring?  Maybe,
     but there is something important you need to know, and you'll find
     it there.

 RECORD REVIEWS - G.T. Stringer and a heapin' helpin' of reviews by
     Platterpuss, Steve Marshall and DJ Johnson.

 THE OLD MAN RADIO HOUR INTERVIEWS: THE VANDALS - The old man met with The
     Vandals at an appropriate spot for an interview - on a vollyball court
     next to a major airport.  This may be a first!

 DREW'S VIEWS - Commercials can educate, entertain, disgust or offend.  And
     sometimes, they can cause psychic trauma. 

 BETWEEN ZERO AND ONE - Now that your brain has shrunken down to what it is,
     and you're accepted by your society, can you bypass the boundries and
     learn to think again?  

 SHARP POINTED STICK - How many Bobbit's does it take to change a penis?
     And at least one thing NOT to do with a blowtorch.  Seems kind of 
     appropriate to have these two items in the same column, doncha think?

 THE DEBRIS FIELD - Another batch of random stuff for your entertainment.

 HOW TO CONTACT US - What it says...

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

 EDITOR'S NOTES
 By DJ Johnson
 
      Hello again, Cosmik folk!  Welcome to issue # 6.  Half a year we've
 been doing this now, and y'know, sometimes it seems more like a decade.
 In fact, I'm not sure I remember what life was like before I started to
 put this zine together for the first time.  No matter.  I'll bet it was
 kinda boring, whatever it was.  This is a fun job, because I get to hang
 out (if only electronically) with a lot of people I admire and respect.
 In the case of THE GREAT SURF SUMMIT, I got to spend the better part of 
 two months mediating a floating interview with 10 to 14 incredible instro
 musicians (the number of participants fluctuated).  That was a kick.  
 This month, we run the 2nd half of that interview.  Last month, I reported
 that we would be joined by Coco, of Man Or Astro-Man, for part two.  Well,
 sorry y'all, but Coco had to back out due to the fact that they are in the
 studio making a new record.  We'll try to get him to sit still for a full
 length interview soon, though, I promise.  We did carry on without him, 
 and I'm sure you'll enjoy the results.   
      One quick thing to discuss... Issue #1 (June 95) of Cosmik Debris 
 (then with the spelling "cosmic") was 66k in its ascii format.  Issue #2
 was 120k.  I remember telling the other Cosmik writers "Jeez, I hope people
 don't think this is too big to read!"  Last month (issue #5) we hit 200k
 right on the button.  This month, we're right around the same neighborhood.
 Next month...who knows?  If any of you ascii subscribers are having problems
 with the file being too large for email delivery, please let me know by
 sending mail to moonbaby@serv.net.  Only one person has complained so far,
 but I'm wondering if others are getting the text in 30k chunks.  We might
 be able to get around that by using attached uuencoded mail.  Don't be shy.
 Let me know.  That's about it, so enjoy the November issue, and feel free
 to write to that same address with any comments, complaints, ideas or 
 questions.  I love getting feedback.
      An additional note to pass along: the popular column "Urbania" will 
 not be found in these pages this month because columnist Jim Andrews has
 been abducted by what is rumored to be a gang of rogue right wing 
 republicans, who are demanding that Mr. Andrews "quit busting our chops!"  
 We're negotiating for his release at this point in time, and hope to have 
 Urbania...and Jimbo...back by Christmas. 
 

 --------------------------------------------------------------------------

 THE GREAT SURF SUMMIT (Part 2)
 Interview by DJ Johnson

      Most of you were with us last month when we began this crazy interview
 with ten of today's best surf musicians.  Since we last spoke, we were
 joined by a few more people.  Bob Dalley, of The Surf Raiders, is one of
 the pioneers of the late 70's surf revival.  Rick Escobar and his band, 
 The Woodies, put out some of the most authentic rocking surf instros you'll 
 ever hear.  And Phil Dirt is a legendary DJ in the bay area of California 
 who's been playing and producing surf records all along.  They join David
 Arnson (Insect Surfers), John Blair (Jon and The Nightriders), Todd Damnit 
 (Thee Phantom 5ive), Ferenc Dobronyi (Pollo Del Mar), Joe Emery (Death 
 Valley), Rick Johnson (The Halibuts), Mel Waldorf (The Mel-Tones), Allen 
 Whitman (The Mermen), Pepper Wilson (Death Valley) and Bernard Yin (Brazil 
 2001).  Last month, we reported that Coco, The Electronic Monkey Wizard, of 
 Man Or Astro-Man?, was going to join the group as well, but due to the fact 
 that the guys needed him to get his low end into the studio for some 
 sessions with Steve Albini, he had to back out.  Maybe next time.  
      We knew by mid September that we we're going to have to make this a 
 two parter.  On October 23rd, we finally and reluctantly wrapped it up.
 Here is the official minutes of the final meeting of what Phil Dirt dubbed 
 "The Therapy Group."  

---------------------------------------------------------------------------- 

 COSMIK DEBRIS: Before we get started, I just want to welcome the newcomers
     to this interview.  Three heavyweights of surf, at that.  Bob Dalley,
     of The Surf Raiders, Rick Escobar, of The Woodies, and the greatest surf 
     disc jockey of all time, Phil Dirt of KFJC radio in the bay area.  
     Welcome aboard, guys.

 JOHN BLAIR: Yea, ditto for me.  Bob and I first met in 1979 shortly before 
     Jon & The Nightriders and  The Surf Raiders formed.  He brought his 
     guitar and amp out to my home and we jammed on tunes for a couple of 
     hours at a time when neither one of us could easily find other musicians 
     who shared our interest in the music.  Hi to Rick.  We haven't met, but 
     I've enjoyed the Woodies' tracks on Phil's "Summer Surf" CD.  And 
     Phil...well, Phil has become an institution on the Left Coast.  It's 
     only too damn bad that he doesn't have the same technology Wolfman Jack 
     had in the 60's.  If that were the case, he'd have been exposed to half 
     of North America by now and, I suspect, may very well have been the 
     progenitor of a new radio format ("All Surf All The Time").  It's nice 
     to have all three at this "virtual" round table.

 COSMIK DEBRIS:  I'd like to kick off this segment by asking you all this 
     question: who else out there is doing good stuff for surf?  Not the 
     musicians, but the promotion people, DJ's, club owners, labels, and 
     such.

 JOHN BLAIR:  I have several quick responses to this question.  First of 
     all, the advertising agencies that use the music as beds for their 
     radio and TV commercials continue to keep surf in the face of the 
     public at large.  There have been several cases where I've remembered 
     the great music used in a commercial but couldn't, for the life of me, 
     recall the product that had been advertised!!  Bad news for the ad 
     agency...good news for the staying power and vitality of surf music.
     Second, with "Pulp Fiction" Quentin Tarantino gave surf music the best 
     shot in the arm for widespread exposure of "the sound" that's happened 
     in 20 years.  It's interesting (and maybe ironic) that the film had 
     absolutely nothing to do with surfing, the beach, or the "California 
     lifestyle."  Third, certain record labels are releasing a helluva lot 
     of surf music these days and should be recognized for their contribution 
     to the revival of the form: Chris Ashford's Iloki label and Lee Joseph's 
     Dionysus label in SoCal, Dave Crider's Estrus label in the Pacific 
     Northwest, Herbert Hooke's NPR label in Germany, Bob Irwin's Sundazed 
     label in New York (king of the surf music reissues), and several others 
     whose names don't readily come to mind but are equally as important.
     I believe that these labels play a similar role in the surf music 
     revival today as the roles that labels such as Dangerhouse in Los 
     Angeles or Stiff in England played in the punk music movement of the 
     late 70s and early 80s.  And finally, Les Parry's local SoCal surf 
     music radio show has also been helpful to the current revival.  His 
     show only suffers from a poor time slot: the crack of dawn on Saturday 
     mornings.  Except for that, he and Phil Dirt (with a time slot of early 
     Saturday evenings) are doing great jobs at making the sound available 
     to anyone with a radio in transmitter range.  We need to get these guys 
     uplinked!!

 BERNARD YIN: I must add Jim Dunfrund's Surfwave on KXLU Thurs 11pm as being 
     a strong help.

 BOB DALLEY:  Heavyweight?, I guess you have seen a recent photo of me!  
     Thanks for the nice intro.   I am honored to be included with so many 
     knowledgeable people connected with surf music.  As you know it is my 
     life and I like to be included in anything to do with surf music.  
     Let's get going and get the job done.  In response to the first 
     question there are a few people I'd like to mention as being helpful 
     with the promotion of surf music.  Paul Cook Of Pierfest  Huntington 
     Beach, CA., has been of great help by having the Surf Battle of the 
     Bands which featured the return of many surf bands, The Tornadoes, The 
     Lively Ones, The Centurions, the Revels and featured surf bands such as 
     the Surfaris, Dick Dale, The Chantays and Jan & Dean.  AVI Records and
     Ron Santos is on the bandwagon to bring to the silver disc, rare and 
     unreleased surf.  Coming soon is the Johnny Barakat & Johnny Forturne 
     double CD.  Also an authorized Avenger VI CD with bonus tracks.  He has 
     already put together some great packages for Del-Fi and is now doing it 
     for his own label.  Sundazed Records.  What more can we all say to 
     Sundazed and Bob Irwin.  Thank you, thank you, thank you!  Lee Joseph 
     and Dionysus Records has put out a lot of important material lately,  
     The Boss Martians, The Finks, The Esquires, The Cave Four and more.  
     I also think we should thank all the indie labels who have put out 
     CD's on surf bands and believe me they are almost too many to name.    
     Del-Fi Records is finally getting the hang of it and is putting out 
     some quality stuff.  I think they will be successful  with the release 
     of Pulp Surfin' II with more new bands.  Zines and newsletters like 
     Livewire, Canada, California Music, Australia, Pipeline and New Gandy 
     Dancer from England have also contributed greatly  in keeping surf 
     music alive over the the years.    I am hoping for the same results 
     with Surf Music USA.   Goldmine and Discovery magazine should be 
     applauded for printing articles on surf bands by myself and Jon Blair.  
     The owners of the Lighthouse Cafe in Hermosa Beach should also be 
     applauded.  There have been many shows in 1995 that have featured surf 
     bands including the Surfaris, Thom Starr & The Galaxies, The Packards, 
     the Halibuts (with John Blair), the Lively Ones and more.  Surf Dj's 
     Phil Dirt KFJC,  Les Perry's Surf Patrol on  KMAX 107.1 FM L.A.  
     Jim Dunfrund's Surf Wave on KXLU.  These three guys have done more for 
     surf music than just about any other.  I sure we can get Jim Petwer in 
     there too.  There are a lot of new DJ's popping up and I hope they
     will stick with it.  I am sure there is more but that is my two cents 
     worth.

 RICK JOHNSON: Here in LA, Jim Dunfrund (KXLU). He's had a surf radio show 
     since the late 70's, way before surf music was cool. His "Surf Day in 
     May" live shows are legendary in the south bay. He introduced us to 
     Chris Ashford who put out the first two Halibut albums and What Surf 
     comps. His show is still going strong after nearly 20 years.  Next, 
     John Stafford, who owned (until last April) the Toes Tavern chain. Surf 
     music was always welcome and encouraged at all 5 Toes Taverns. We miss 
     John.  And even though you said not the musicians, I think I need to 
     mention Dave Arnson (Insect Surfers). Dave is ALWAYS writing and 
     promoting surf music and sets up some of the best surf shows to be had 
     here in LA. Dave supports every surf band here (and is a wild man on 
     the dance floor when there's a surf band on stage).

 ALLEN WHITMAN:  Now this is a good point.  I've seen Dave Arnson all over 
     the place.  Another person is Matt Kora.  The mysterious Mr Kora has 
     flown all over the country to tape surf shows (for his enjoyment only) 
     by lots of bands.  Ask around, I'm sure someone you know in the 
     community has heard of him.  The Mermen have run into a lot of people 
     in the biz who love the music.  Some of the people say I love surf 
     music because it's cool now.  Others genuinely enjoy the genre and tell 
     stories about artists in the past or about their record collections.  
     We get A LOT of support for what we are doing within the industry.
 
 JOHN BLAIR:  Oops.  I mentioned Phil and Les before, but completely forgot 
     about Jim Dunfrund.  Sorry, Jim.  Your contribution to the scene is 
     certainly important enough to make this a triumvirate instead of a duet.  
     Jim Pewter also deserves credit for supporting the scene in several 
     ways.  Although a radio announcer, he's on Armed Forces Radio and 
     doesn't strictly play surf music as the other three do.  He does pop 
     up at many of the special surf music shows in SoCal, was responsible 
     for the big surf music revival show at the Hollywood Palladium in the 
     mid-70s, and just launched his own record company (Playground) with the
     release of "Pulp Rock," a new compilation of surf and rock instros (old
     and new -  it's an ecclectic collection!)

 PHIL DIRT:  There are lots of labels issuing material some of you mentioned 
     already.  There's also some interest being expressed at Billboard (2 
     articles in the last year), and college radio everywhere seems to be 
     including surf in regular rotation, though only a few of us do slabs of 
     the real stuff (no vocals). I am aware of a couple of other DJ's doing 
     significant things, like Bob Hume at RTR FM 92.1 FM Tuesday nights from 
     7.30 to 9.00 PM in Southern Australia. (Bob Hume, PO Box 7387, 
     Cloister's Sq  WA, AUSTRALIA 6850 or rhope_hu@scorpion.cowan.edu.au), 
     as well as the other already mentioned dj's, plus Todd's gig (Ed: Todd 
     Damnit of Thee Phantom 5ive, who is also a DJ in Nashville).  The club 
     scene has been very helpful too. There were 2 San Jose club (Muzzies & 
     Laundry Works) both now gone that supported regular surf nites through 
     a significant part of the 80's. San Francisco clubs like the Bottom of 
     the Hill, Purple Onion, Paradise Lounge, and Slim's  have been helpful 
     too.  I've presented several daytime showcase/benefits at Foothill, 
     that have been recorded, one released (Summer Surf) that filled a really 
     nice theater room with a broad spectrum audience, most of whom don't go 
     to clubs (kids, middle aged professionals, etc... On the web, (not to 
     toot my horn, but) my page (www.cygnus.com/kfjc/surf/) gets about 400 
     downloads a week from all over the world, generates lots of e-mail, and 
     generally reaches far & wide. I'm working on CD quality live music for 
     it, and some sort of real radio version of my show. Ferenc is right, 
     the web is BIG. The Mermen get tons of action too, as I'm sure Allen 
     will spout about.  Print is slow to come (except for the great fanzines 
     Livewire, Pipeline, New Gandy Dancer, California Music, etc.). They 
     seem to think it's an oldies revival...a curiosity...always the last to 
     know.  Another radio dude supporting the reverb is The Beast of "The 
     Beast &  Baker Show, airing Saturday nights at midnight on WAXY 790am 
     in Miami (beast@icanect.net & www.icanect.net/beast). Like most, they 
     are mixing surf into the batch, and are an island of wet sound in a dry 
     state (band wise). It's fairly new, but is very interested in getting 
     a scene going.
     
 FERENC DOBRONYI:  The resource that has helped Pollo Del Mar the most is 
     definitely the Internet. (This is not to sleight the many people who 
     have helped us, but I had first contact with them all through the net!!) 
     I have found so many resources - Web sites, magazines, DJ's, and people. 
     The online surf community is friendly and always willing to share a tip 
     about where a new band can send out for reviews, airplay, clubs and 
     record company contacts. They are all out there and available if you 
     look for them.
 
 ALLEN WHITMAN:  Once again, Ferenc, we agree.  The web has been a resource 
     of incalculable value.
 
 PEPPER WILSON: The first few responses really support our previous 
     conclusions that the surf/instro scene in Austin and maybe even 
     everywhere east of Cali/Seattle, is puny in comparison.  There is 
     not one regular surf radio show in Austin.  KVRX, the University 
     of Texas student radio, and KTRU, the Rice University student radio, 
     in Houston, have been supporters of surf music in general and Death 
     Valley, specifically, by playing the stuff and doing a live interview 
     for us.  Debbie Rombacher, of Austin's Hole-in-the-Wall, and Glenbo, 
     of Houston's Rudyard's have always supported the scene and Death 
     Valley by offering us weekend headlining shows.  These folks have 
     really helped us this way, and also helped the scene by bringing 
     in other surf bands such as The Spoilers, and The SwankTones to play
     with us.  Furthermore, Debbie has often hosted the surf show at the 
     South by SouthWest music convention here in Austin with appearances 
     by Insect Surfers, Huevos Rancheros, Laika and the Cosmonauts, Teisco 
     Del Rey, and others.  Tim Kerr, legendary Austin guitarist (Big Boys, 
     Bad Mutha Goose, The Monkeywrench, Jack O' Fire, and most recently, 
     Lord High Fixers) is due lots of credit for taking many local bands 
     into the studio including Death Valley and The Spoilers.  Our 
     association with him has been essential in opening up doors not 
     traditionally open to surf.  His efforts have led to a Death Valley 
     song appearing on a soon to be released Texas comp on the Australian 
     A Go-Go records.
 
 JOE EMERY:  First credit goes to Teisco Del Rey, for the reason that I 
     would never have heard instro music if it weren't for him.  Secondly, 
     I have to second Pepper's mention of Tim Kerr.  While Tim's tastes
     in playing and production run the gamut of musical styles (he was in 
     the legendary hardcore band the Big Boys, blues hangover band Poison 
     13, funksters Bad Mutha Goose and several others), his attitude toward 
     Rock, Punk, etc. scenes is completely selfless.  He devotes virtually 
     all of his time to helping out budding bands for little or no money.  
     He has put up just about every band that has come through town (Man or 
     Astroman, Mudhoney, Gas Huffer, heck even Bad Brains and Minor Threat) 
     when they needed it.  He is one of the nicest guys anywhere, and THE 
     most important person in the Austin music scene in the last 20 years 
     (forget what you've heard about Stevie Ray Vaughan).
 
 TODD DAMNIT:  Who else is helpful to the lowly surf rocker? Without a doubt, 
     the various zines and assorted publications that are sympathetic to the 
     instro sound have been the kindest to Thee Phantomb 5ive. The published 
     review has been the key to our receiving any exposure and has enabled us 
     to hook up with some hilariously rabid fans of surf music. We even 
     hooked up with a cat in Scotland that got our record played on Scotland's 
     national radio station....this thru a review in maximum rock and roll. 
     Locally (Nashville), Vanderbilt's WRVU plays our records embarrassingly 
     often.  Hell, our first single was a staple on their local top five show 
     for 9 months! This leads me to believe that if ya can find the college 
     stations that are hip to instros, you can get some solid exposure. Also, 
     I have been doing a weekly surf radio show on WRVU for the last two 
     years and feel like I have kept Nashville abreast, surf-wise, to some 
     extent. I even get requests, every week, for many of y'all's combos!! 
     Actually, the biggest thanks have to go to the combos themselves. I 
     mean, the enormous chunks of time we have all spent toiling, loading, 
     thinking about, wasting, rockin' with our bands is amazing!  You all
     have yourselves to thank foremost for eeking out a scene in a land awash 
     with worthless muzak. 
 
 DAVID ARNSON:  David Arnson: Jim Dunfrund's "Surf Wave" show on KXLU, Los 
     Angeles (Thursdays, 11pm) has been on the air for over 15 years. It 
     has been one of L.A.'s driving forces in the surf scene.  Chris Ashford 
     of Iloki Records (and currently his "Ruckas Records" store) has put out 
     some great surf records by The Halibuts, Davie Allan, and compilations. 
     He's a frequent guest on Surf Wave, too! Mike Palm from Agent Orange, 
     besides playing surf instros in their sets, often has surf bands open 
     up for their shows. Flipside Magazine (available nationally, but 
     primarily an L.A. music zine) frequently reviews surf releases and 
     bands.  Lee Joseph of Dionysus Records has put out surf vinyl - more 
     than cd's (Boardwalkers, Bomboras, Finks, Boss Martians, Insect Surfers, 
     Surf Raiders, etc.).  Most L.A. clubs and bookers are still not overly 
     supportive of instro music.  Toes Tavern at one time supported surf 
     bands a lot, but has fallen off a lot.  Local booker Johnny Vargas is 
     probably the easiest to deal with for Hollywood and downtown shows.  
     L.A. dj Les Perry on KWIZ FM has a (gulp!) 5 am to 7 am Saturday
     morning all surf show and he's put on some good show to benefit his 
     show and The Surfrider Foundation.  He got the Lively Ones to play 
     together again.  Phil Dirt at KFJC has helped the instro scene blossom
     in the San Francisco area (and the world!)  And (former Surf Raider) 
     Bob Dalley is ensconced in Utah putting out surf books and a great 
     current newsletter (Cowabunga subscribers have probably seen this 
     promoted). John Blair's Surf Discography book is an invaluable resource.
     Additionally,  Cowabunga@ucsd.edu is a great cybersurf gathering place.
     Surf zines include Canada's "Livewire," England's "New Gandy Dancer," 
     "Pipeline," and "Outlet."  Australia has "California Music." There's
     more, but those are the main ones.  All major music publications have 
     pretty much ignored the current instro scene so far, with the exception 
     of two articles in Billboard in as many years.  Estrus Records has 
     probably put out more surf instro than any other current indie label 
     but they understandably focus mainly on one style of surf.  Upstart 
     Records, who distributes mainly through the folky Rounder label, has 
     released cd's by Los Straightjackets, Halibuts and their "Beyond the 
     Beach" compilation.  Hey, I reckon we can thank Quentin Tarantino for
     assembling the "Pulp Fiction" soundtrack. It's very possibly a one-shot 
     effort on his part, but boy did that cd get the ball rolling on surf 
     instro awareness!   New Jersey's Skyclad records put out our cd "Reverb
     Sun" in 1991 but never paid us a cent (in fact they owe us quite a bit 
     of money).  They went out of business three years ago.  Oddly enough, 
     despite have cuts on about six surf compilations, labels have passed on 
     releasing our latest 14-song tape. Ignoring the idea that maybe we just 
     suck, we're working now on issuing a cd ourselves.  This has worked for 
     the Halibuts, Aqua Velvets and Mermen in getting label attention.
 
 COSMIK DEBRIS:  That IS odd.  The recent instro compilation CD, "Instro 
     Nation," on Orange Records, has songs by your band (Insect Surfers), 
     Death Valley, Pollo Del Mar, The Mermen, Davie Allan, Galaxy Trio, 
     Satan's Pilgrims...a bunch of bands that are all more than deserving of 
     major label attention.  And you'd think there would be a rush of 
     signings because of current popularity, like it was in Seattle during the 
     "grunge" era.  What road blocks are you all finding?  I'd also be 
     interested to know what Phil thinks of this.

 PHIL DIRT:  I've heard from endless people well placed to know such things 
     that successful labels look for acts with 1) a buzz - something about 
     interest from more than the band's friends, 2) prior self-funded 
     releases - says they are committed to their sound, not relying on 
     someone else to take the risks, 3) have learned how to record on their 
     dime.  As to whether you guys suck....I think not.  As to a signing 
     frenzy...watch your step, I suspect that the majors are watching 
     Mesa/Atlantic. If it works for them in the next 6 months or so, any 
     urchin that can hold a guitar and not sing living in SF will be signed, 
     followed by the rest of the pack.  As for a comp like Instro Nation, 
     which is not actually stocked by most Towers and probably won't be 
     available elsewhere, I think it will be a good promo tool for you to 
     give to people, but not to create a buzz with.  It is also an adder for 
     those already committed to their own future with their own money in CD 
     pressing...notice I didn't mention vinyl.  Label schmucks I've heard 
     from say "vinyl doesn't count.  Who cares!  Too small a specialty
     market"...go to any really good indie store and watch the 100 to 1 CD 
     to vinyl ratio among customers...it's cute, just not effective.

 JOHN BLAIR:  I don't know about all the others here, but this subject sort 
     of fires me up.  I could go on and on about the musical validity of surf 
     music, its place in popular culture, and the complete lack of attention 
     it gets from major labels.  The marketing of surf music always has been, 
     and will (I believe) continue to be in the domain of the independent 
     record companies.  Even in the 60s, there were only a handful of majors 
     (Capitol, Liberty, and Dot being the top three probably) who released 
     surf music -- and then most of the artists already had independent label 
     releases anyway and were experiencing strong popularity on local levels 
     (more than most contemporary surf bands I would think).  The subject of 
     "road blocks," though, isn't really about the major labels (they come to 
     you; you don't go to them).  It's about the difficulty in getting your 
     band's music released by a record company in general.  It's absurd that 
     Dave's band has been turned down by several labels, but his experience 
     isn't unique, and I'm sure he's not alone.  This is the big road block: 
     getting a record company to release your material -- not just any record 
     company, but one that will, hopefully, provide you with an advance, an 
     appropriate share of profits, and a promise to promote.  When you've 
     done the best you can and you can't interest anyone, the do-it-yourself 
     (DIY) approach may be the only reasonable alternative, as Dave suggests 
     may happen with the Insect Surfers.  This, however, provides the second 
     biggest road block a band could face: getting your music distributed.
     I could go on and on, but I think those are the two big obstacles for a 
     band to overcome: finding an interested record company and distribution 
     if you try to DIY.  In my own case, I was fortunate that Herbert Hooke 
     in Germany agreed to release the Jon & The Nightriders' anthology CD 
     last year on his NPR label.  Several domestic labels declined the 
     record.  One other European label expressed an interest, but their 
     contract terms weren't as good as NPR's.  It was good to have the 
     product released and wonderful to work with both Herbert and his 
     right-hand man, Rudiger Nehls.  It was, however, disappointing to 
     discover that they had such a difficult time finding distribution, 
     although I know they did the best they could.  I believe that the lack 
     of sufficient distribution essentially killed the potential of realizing 
     any profit from that effort.
 
 PHIL DIRT:  John's right, majors only come to you, but minors both lead & 
     follow...look at what's up now. A few minors were doin' it, then Pulp 
     Friction (sp) opens a door or two, and every minor has something out, 
     though it's usually just the bar band down the street, or the sad case 
     they like (and that's why they stay minor).   So, as the other WEA folks 
     follow Atlantic, and things move from their subsidiaries onto the label 
     proper, and that is followed by a band or 2 each for Capital & MCA, the 
     minors who thought you sucked last year will think you're hot shit this 
     year....what goes around... Seems to me, my earlier dribble aside, 
     between us, we have the material & probably the resources & contacts to 
     make an instro label fly. Imagine a start-up comp series from the likes 
     of you scribbled in by those of us unable to do a decent glissando, 
     funded by our collective pockets, and distributed by (there's always a 
     rub, but I have a few contacts), followed by a series of individual band 
     releases (who would go first??? What a fight that would be). I'm only 
     half joking. I have a vault full of great stuff I've produced that 
     labels have passed on in droves.  Then, in a year when the big kids are 
     buying, they could buy us out & we retire! Well?
 
 DAVID ARNSON:  Being in an instro band is a roadblock, period!  My favorite 
     quote is in Teisco del Rey's cd booklet: Drunk Fan: "Can you play 
     something with words so we can dance to it?"  I think every instro band 
     has experienced this syndrome.  I remember once sitting with a well 
     connected booking agent listening to our tape and he was trying to make 
     up lyric melodies for us! (of course this meeting didn't work out!) 
     Also, a lot of people still equate "surf music" exclusively with a 
     "beach blanket bingo" image. That kind of image and style is still fun 
     up to a point, but its just "tip of the iceberg" of the music's 
     potential.  I think this perception is gradually changing, though. 
     I'm heartened by a lot of punk and/or "alternative" type bands doing
     instros like Bill Nelson's latest record, Polvo, Dub Narcotic, Pell
     Mell, Don Caballero, Savage Republic/Scenic, Monochrome Set, Sonic
     Youth's Lee Renaldo and Thurston Moore's solo albums, etc. etc. and
     so on, up to and including a lot of new surf/instro bands playing now.

 ALLEN WHITMAN:  One of my favorite topics.  For years industry types gave 
     us a constant litany of: "I like it, but I don't know what to DO with 
     it!"  If I heard that once, I heard it a hundred times.  And, oh, I so 
     much wanted to tell them exactly what they could do with it!
 
 PHIL DIRT:  Eliminators' Rhythm guitarist Preston Wilson related a priceless 
     tale during the second set at Woodies on the Wharf that really clarifies 
     the depth of the discrepancy between reality and perception. "...we had 
     this guy here earlier, ...uh...he's sitting over here (pointed) in the 
     front saying...uh...'you guys gonna sing a song today?'. I kept saying 
     'we're an instrumental surf band.' He says '...well, who's your lead 
     singer?' so I held up my guitar and told him 'Leo Fender was (made) the 
     lead singer.'...& I was over here (points to their Merchandise table) 
     standing and he says 'um...what time does this Leo guy show up to 
     play?'"  Roadblocks...perception & common language are the first order 
     problem. I'm reminded of the failures of the early computer translation 
     programs.  The English phrase "the flesh is weak but the spirit is 
     willing" came out "the meat is rotten, but the Vodka is strong" in 
     Russian.  1. Bands that call themselves surf just cuz they don't sing 
     (Hekawis) make it hard for the rest.  2. The public's sudden awareness 
     via "Pulp Fiction" has brought them to call it "Pulp Fiction Music". 
     You can fight all you want, but a photocopy will forever more be a Xerox 
     copy.  So, consider a name change that will identify with the masses, 
     like pulp surf, or something.  It's not like there's a real strong 
     relationship between the music and surfers (except in So Cal - sorry
     Dave), so even "Pulp Rock" would do. I'm emotionally opposed to such
     heresy, but it's a way around the identity crisis.  3. Many musicians 
     seem to be apologetic about playing surf when they talk about it, and 
     the uninitiated are put off, like it's a lesser form. Eric Clapton 
     couldn't double pick with full arm thrust for 4 minutes to save his
     life.  Stand tall!  The audience is there, brothers & sisters.  I have 
     a huge audience these days.  Clubs in the know will book anything that 
     calls itself surf...it's your move.  I wrote my thesis on "The Emperor's 
     New Clothes"...sorry!
 
 JOE EMERY:  Well DJ., it's pretty simple: We are all teetering on the 
     brink of insanity (as all great minds are), while all the grungies up 
     in Seattle are teetering on the brink of drug overdose (and let's not 
     forget that "drug overdose" is an A&R term for multiplatinum record 
     sales).  Plus junkies make good poster boy sickly heartthrob types and
     are easier to push around... they don't make trouble for the big boys.  
     Us instro guys, we're loners, rebels...

 JOHN BLAIR:  So Joe, are you saying that all of us should start taking 
     drugs and strive for overdose heaven, thereby making us candidates for 
     multiplatinum record sales?  Or is this some sly comment about Kurt 
     Cobain's use of a Fender Jazzmaster?  I don't think I'm teetering on 
     the brink of insanity, although it feels like it sometimes (especially 
     after spending an hour and a half in the studio "punching in" four bars 
     of some ridiculously simple lead track).  I will agree with you, 
     however, that surf music and great minds do go together.  I'll take 
     my tongue out of my cheek now if you will.

 JOE EMERY:  Overdose heaven?  Can you really overdose on Reese's peanut 
     butter cups?  No, all I'm saying is "big industry" morons wouldn't know 
     decent music if it bit them on the ass.  I'm the last guy to say, "Let's 
     keep cool music to ourselves," and no one is ever happier than I am when 
     a really cool band makes it big (and it does happen), but judging by the 
     garbage that has been thrust upon us by major labels of late, I'm not 
     going to hold my breath.  I hope this doesn't sound too negative - maybe 
     I've just heard too many Stone Temple Pilots songs on our "Alternative" 
     station the last couple of days.  : )

 JOHN BLAIR:  Yeah, I understand your point.  But, hasn't that always been the
     case really?  It isn't too much different now.  The big industry moguls 
     are still signing the bands they think will make them the most money 
     while the indie labels are still signing the bands they think should be 
     heard.  Anyway, we might be getting off the subject a bit here since we 
     were supposed to be talking about things that get in the way of a 
     contemporary surf band's goals.  I think we need to forget the big 
     labels completely.  In our quest for record deals and good distribution 
     of our music, the "biggies" are just a stress source.

 FERENC DOBRONYI:  Record companies know that instrumental music is too 
     esoteric to sell in quantity. It seems that you have got to tell the 
     average listener that "This is a love song" before they get the point, 
     and they couldn't possibly be imaginative enough to find their own 
     meaning in wordless music.  Remember that the entire music industry is 
     focused on selling "product" to Jr. High and High school kids, who are 
     the largest music buying audience by default, only because they can't 
     yet afford to buy alcohol and cars.  Play surf or instumental because 
     there are no words to express what you are feeling, not because you 
     think you will sell a lot of records (that would just be a bonus).

 BOB DALLEY:  And In this corner  (well since I am a heavyweight now) I'd 
     like to concur with John as this subject also fires me up.  Having 
     received many rejection slips myself regarding the Surf Raiders material.   
     I can feel for what the surf bands are going through today.  What it 
     comes down to is two things:  1. Guaranteed Profit.  2. Absolute Control.  
     If a major record company cannot see these two things on the bottom line, 
     you will not be signed.   Let's face it, this is life.  A record company 
     exists to make money.  They want a sure fire million seller. They want 
     the copyright and publishing for the additional money it will bring in 
     to the record company.  I went the independent route and actually did 
     pretty good.  I keep complete control, licensed the material where I 
     could and retained all rights to my material.  The best thing I have 
     ever done is to licensed my song 'The Curl Rider" to GNP/Crescendo 
     Records.  Dealing with Neil Norman has been a great pleasure as he is 
     great to work with.  I have been receiving royalities from them for over 
     13 years and I am grateful for their honesty and friendship.  So going 
     the independent route isn't bad.  I remember when I approached Rhino 
     Records about the Surf Raiders.  They even came out to Knotts Berry 
     Farm to see us.  I didn't hear back from them and when I called they 
     told me they were going to do their own thing.  A while later they 
     released the Wedge EP.  The Wedge's name, the recordings, everything 
     about the band were originated by Rhino.  Complete control over 
     everything. " Endless Sun" by the group is perhaps one of the best surf 
     tunes since "Endless Summer" and the writer has no control over it 
     because it belongs to Rhino.  I  am not saying that is bad,  it is good 
     for the record company but it takes away your options and ability to 
     market it yourself..  A label may want too much money if another label 
     wants to use your song on a comp album and there it sits in some vault
     gathering dust, especially if there was a chance for it to be on a CD.
     I am happy for the Aqua Velvets and the Mermen for their signing with
     Mesa/Bluemoon/Atlantic Records, but I'd be happier with let's say the 
     Woodies or Satan's Pilgrims who better represent the spirit and sound 
     of true instrumental surf music.  What we need to do is get everyone 
     who loves and buys surf music linked together through e-mail, zine data 
     bases etc.  That could be the basis for a distribution network that 
     would give a band an idea who their audience would be.  That's my piece.  
     Hope I didn't make any enemies.  

 ALLEN WHITMAN:  Robert, though I agree that bands like The Woodies deserve 
     recognition your comment begs the need for an authoritative definition 
     of "true instrumental surf music".  I think you limit musical expression 
     by saying this.  As for data bases, this I totally agree with. and it's 
     already in place.  See Phil Dirt's page http://www.cygnus.com/kfjc/surf/.  
     This URL will only grow from where it is now to become a clearing house 
     for surf bands and music in general.
     
 PHIL DIRT:  I'd like to inject a subject that is near & dear to my heart, 
     and has come up again, for the umpteenth time in e-mail from Halibut 
     Rick...riff rock!  The whole notion that mere progressions are adequate 
     to be good music seems a bit of self denial...there's a certain amount 
     that can be hidden by the awful "V" word (vocals). When you are producing 
     the pure instro form, without a melody line, what can people take away 
     with them.  The acid test for me when I'm listening to new material is, 
     do I remember it after I've heard it?  I'm drawn to rolling rhythms, 
     counter melodies, lead & rhythm in different registers with different 
     textures, etc.  I find that a lot of bands that record too soon have 
     too many riff rock noodlings and some covers on their release, and in 
     that case, it's the covers that I like & play. Then there are new 
     artists like Canada's Mark Brodie & the Beaver Patrol who write gorgeous 
     stuff.  In that case, who needs covers! Part of what makes great instro 
     is a deceptive simplicity hiding a sophisticated structure and melody. 
     This is what I find so fascinating and endearing with Richard Podolar's 
     writing, and is also why Jim Thomas still does 2 of his tunes in Mermen 
     sets (Casbah & Quiet Surf aka Samoa). I'd like to pull together a 
     Podolar Tribute CD & get him to record/produce it at his American 
     Recording Studio.  So here's the question. What makes a good surf tune 
     to you, and what about it connects with you or your audiences, live & 
     on disk?

 FERENC DOBRONYI:  Well Phil, you've got me thinking now. Can you give us an
     example of what you mean by riff-rock? When I think of riff-rock, bands 
     like AC/DC come to mind.  We discussed last month about how surf music 
     has a great tradition of breaking free of the I-IV-V blues rock 
     progression.  To us Pollo's, a good surf song should have a lot of drama, 
     like a long wave ride: a quiet part, a build, a crescendo, an epiphany, 
     maybe a crash or two and leave with a sweet memory. As Pepper said, it 
     should conjure up images.

 RICK JOHNSON:  I've been having this discussion about riff rock with Mike 
     Palm (Agent Orange) for a few weeks now and more recently with Phil. If 
     you think about it, the surf bands are being represented to the main 
     stream by 1-4-5 Chuck Berry style riff rock. We've raved about all the 
     exposure we're getting in commercials and such, but that really isn't 
     what we play. Sure, the Halibuts have played our share of it (I think 
     Phil's comment about recording too soon fits in here), but I think we've 
     grown up since those early days. Maybe that's why the big label execs 
     ignore surf music. They have this image of some detergent commercial 
     with riff rock playing in the background.  The acid test for me comes 
     after I've played a CD for a few weeks. Am I bored of it? Those that 
     bore me are the ones that Phil describes as riff rock noodlings with 
     some covers. What makes a good surf tune? I really like simple, but
     sophisticated melodies and clean guitars.

 DAVID ARNSON:  My three ingredients for a good surf tune are 1) at least one
     nicely reverbed electric guitar, 2) the music or the title provides a 
     soundtrack for your mind, and 3) Like Salieri says in the movie Amadeus, 
     (not) "too many notes."

 PEPPER WILSON:  To me the answer to this question is the mood or feeling 
     that the song produces.  I can extend this to Death Valley's western 
     instro sound as well.  This is very clear to me, personally.  In vocal 
     songs, as has been mentioned in this summit before, the listener 
     identifies a lot with the words.  In instrumental music, the sounds in 
     the song, the ambiance, the beat, everything combine to produce a unique 
     feeling.  It can be the feeling of being somewhere else or of being free 
     or anything.  This sometimes happens with vocal music as well, but to me 
     that is what makes a good instumental song.  As for the Death Valley 
     audience, during shows, I have noticed many people appear to have the 
     same type of look about them, taken away to some far off place.  
     
 ALLEN WHITMAN:  Yes, this is a familiar theme with audience comments to us 
     as well.  A faraway, dreamy look and a slow sway of the upper torso....
     
 PEPPER WILSON:  Fans have mentioned that some of Death Valley's songs make 
     them want to hit the open road, or drive through the desert at sunset.  
     These are the same images that we had when creating the songs.  I have 
     also heard that a couple of the tunes we do make people think of sex, 
     although I don't really concur.
 
 JOE EMERY:  Hey wait a minute Pep!  I thought ALL our songs were about sex!
     O.K. that's it, I QUIT!!!

 ALLEN WHITMAN:  People have told me how, after a particular relationship 
     ended, they could not listen to "Krill Slippin" anymore because that 
     was their so-called "soundtrack" for sex and other activities....other 
     people have introduced themselves as: "I'm that guy who fucks to your 
     music"  (what is not clear...)

 PHIL DIRT:  So, is there anything that doesn't make someone think of sex. 
     And, is it not so that music is dominated by males because it is really 
     all about the peacock thing...struttin' the stuff? You know, totally 
     non-essential aesthetically attractive show of decadence & cahones size? 
     We first compete amongst ourselves, then the victors reap the spoils...
     But, seriously folks, what is there more emotionally sexy than a '62 
     Strat drenched in vintage reverb sending minor chordage and floating 
     notes at sunset across the beach, or in your case, Allen, hair raising 
     feedback that goes on f-o-r-e-v-e-r in an orgy of human core howling...
     damn, I still can't get over how powerful "Pull Of The Moon" is that 
     way, "Haunted House" version, of course!

 JOHN BLAIR:  I think riff rock is an appropriate term to describe one 
     element of a good surf instrumental.  I don't know that I can add much 
     beyond Phil's criteria of rolling rhythms, counter melodies, lead and 
     rhythm in different registers, different textures, etc.  And he makes 
     an excellent point with "...deceptive simplicity hiding a sophisticated 
     structure and melody."  The difference between the AC/DC type of riff 
     rock that Ferenc mentions and what Phil refers to, I think, is that in 
     the case of bands like AC/DC the "riff" is more of a rhythm accompaniment 
     to the vocal.  Usually, the lead takes off in the middle of the song and 
     breaks away from the "riff" (or hook in many cases).  In the case of 
     surf instrumentals, the "riff" is essentially the melody line, the glue 
     that holds the entire piece together.  Quite often, the main "riff" is
     broken by only a bridge.  There are other elements, I believe, that can 
     also contribute to a good surf instro.  The sound and style of the drums 
     (check out the opening 4 bars to "Rumors Of Surf" by Southern Culture On 
     The Skids), the effective use of reverb (any tune by The Eliminators), a 
     catchy chord structure that doesn't have to involve augmented ninths or 
     flatted fifths to make a point, tasteful use of alternative instruments 
     such as keyboards or sax (I even heard a surf instro the other day with 
     a sitar in the mix!!!), and maybe the most important element for me is 
     the "FEEL" of the piece.  It should excite or bring a smile to your face 
     (or, in the case of Death Valley, make you feel like having sex!).

 MEL WALDORF:  As far as riff rock is concerned, I always think of Wipe Out, 
     and how it doesn't really represent surf music.  In fact, I try to avoid 
     using it as an example of surf.  While I enjoy riff rock, I think of it 
     more as drag racing music; incentive to push the accelerator a bit 
     closer to the firewall.  Surf music is more elusive.  The perfect surf 
     song sounds about as contrived as the weather.  As such, it's much harder 
     to compose a good surf song.  I guess I have a comparitive soft spot for 
     a stomping rocker, but surf is a thing of beauty.
 
 PHIL DIRT:  Mel, you thunder thief, I was just gonna say the difference 
     between riff rock & surf is like the difference between "Wipe Out" and 
     "Pipeline".  Seems to me that pipeline is the best example of the 
     classic surf form.  Why doesn't anyone use that electric piano anymore 
     instead of cheesy post surf mid-sixties Farfisa?

 ALLEN WHITMAN:  I like a tune that helps me feel like I can see beyond the 
     visible horizon.

 RICK ESCOBAR:  I feel first of all like any good song there has to be a 
     strong melody, but I think that's true for any great instrumental. After 
     that it's the execution, rhythm, counter point and tone and defines the 
     final out come of the tune. I mean you can take the melody of almost any 
     song and twist it into any particular style. In surf I feel that there 
     are many styles within a form, and it is what you [RICK??] with that 
     dictates what comes across to the listener and what that person may or 
     may not get out of it. And oh yeah, I almost forgot, LOTS O REVERB!
     Seriously, whether the music is Trad or progressive does it make you 
     think of water, sand and sun.  When I see the Mermen, I think of just 
     riding a current, closing my eyes and just going with it.  When I see 
     the Ultras, I think of Zappa mets PeeWee on a Surf break, it's just out 
     there.  The Trash Women, Neptunas, well that's just a rippin' beach party. 
     There are a lot of great surf bands out there, and it would suck if 
     everyone sounded the same and surf never went anywhere past 63.  But hey, 
     it has to be full circle, and you can never forget your roots.  I write 
     and arrange in the old style because I find it a challenge to have the 
     old flavor yet not repeat what has been done a million times.  It's like 
     being a painter with one brush but with lots of colors.  Then again, 
     that's me.

 PHIL DIRT:  Welcome & Swami Bows to Rick Escobar of the Woodies...master of
     original surf tunes that you'd swear were written in '63...how could it 
     be that you were the first to bring up reverb as an element to a great 
     surf song?  Rick's right about surfing-up any song, though it really 
     only works with songs with a strong melody.  Example, Japan's Surf 
     Coasters do the theme from Jaws...why didn't anyone do this before? 
     Anyway, the only part that really works is the intro, the rest just 
     rolls along, and I can't remember it.  They shoulda used the intro, 
     then done something else, or developed a whole song around the intro...

 COSMIK DEBRIS:  Okay, here's my favorite part... Surf musicians are
     probably ten times more religious about equipment than other players.
     There are obviously a few guitars, basses and amps that have become 
     synonymous with Surf and instro in general, and there are some players
     using stuff that you would never think could even HANDLE this form of
     music.  What can you tell us about YOUR gear?

 JOE EMERY:  I play a Fender 50's reissue Strat and a Telecaster (with 
     Bigsby) - only one at a time - through an old Fender reverb tank and a 
     Twin Reverb reissue.
     
 PHIL DIRT:  I'm not what you'd call a player, just barely a noodler. I love 
     the sound. I own the single most important element in the surf chain, a 
     '62 Fender outboard reverb.  I also have a perfect '67 Fender Mustang 
     that I occasionally pick to soothe the savage beast. I run it directly 
     into my sound board. Actually, I use the outboard as a recording effect 
     frequently, either for adding a bit of reverb to guitars slightly 
     lacking, on vocals, or even on the drum kit sometimes. There's just 
     nothing like that box!

 PEPPER WILSON:  I play a Fender Jazz Bass that I have modified with EMG 
     active pick-ups.  Most people use active pick-ups to get more high-end 
     out of their basses, but in our genre, they are used for something else 
     entirely.  The EMG's make a really fat, warm and heavy low end that 
     will still cut through and not be muddy, in order to compete with two 
     double picked guitars.  The EMG's also add a bunch of sustain and 
     eliminate the 60Hz hum because they are not electrically connected to 
     the bridge and strings.  This of course eliminates the chance of getting 
     zapped by the mics.  For amplification, I go straight into a Carvin 
     PB-500 bass head and then into a Fender 2-10"/1-18" cabinet which houses 
     EV drivers.  The 18 really fills up a small room with omnidirectional 
     low end, which makes for a very big sound, all the way to the back.
      
 JOE EMERY:  Omnidirectional low end?  Pep, you need to take Mylanta for 
     that.

 ALLEN WHITMAN:  Now this makes me PROUD to be a bass player!

 PEPPER WILSON:  Perhaps I should clarify.  All I mean is that the low end 
     does not seem to be coming from the stage, but from all over the room.
    
 PHIL DIRT:  Pepper's point is VERY important, especially on those ominous 
    low E tunes.  With two guitars pummeling the lower extremes of the melody 
    envelope, the bass needs to really rumble down under. Conventional wisdom 
    in "the good old days" was that bass should be felt more than heard. An 
    18 or two with adequate power really makes a difference. When I record, 
    I usually take a direct for definition, and also use a big diaphragm mic 
    about 10" from the cone, then mix the two together to balance what's 
    heard.  Definition and rumble don't have to be incompatible. I often find 
    that I have to boost the bottom end from many players who haven't 
    transitioned away from the thin eighties bass sound.

 FERENC DOBRONYI:  My main guitar is a seafoam-blue '94 Ibanez Talman (that's
    the one with the fiberboard body), with three "Lipstick tube" pickups and
    tremolo, through a Fender Vibro-Verb (brown face) amp. Effects include a 
    Rat distortion (for a warm lead tone), an Alan Meyers Super Fuzz 
    distortion, and a Roland Analog delay (usually set to a "slap" echo), 
    and, of course, lots and LOTS of reverb.  I also use a Roland SDE-3000 
    digital delay that is usually set to near endless repeats, and is keyed 
    into the tempo of the song (for "Dub" effects).  Hardly a traditional 
    setup, but the sound is pure.

 BERNARD YIN:  I have possessed tons of Fender amps and recently found myself 
    Fenderless!  I chanced upon a killer deal and do now have a Fender 
    Concert with a Boogie flavored modification.  It has Groove Tubes [of 
    course] and a very powerful EV speaker.  This has been great for all 
    sorts of gigs and is also allowing me to get twangy in the "right" way 
    again.  It is VERY loud.  More traditionally [for me] you will see me at 
    larger gigs with the bigger gun of a Mesa Boogie Quad Pre-Amp, 50/50 
    Stereo Power Amp - also Boogie and a 2x12 [reissued 25w Celestions] 
    Marshall cabinet.  I am concerned because I am suddenly wanting it
    LOUDER!  The Boogie's reverb sucks so I use it real lightly and add with 
    a bypass switch a heavy digital reverb from a Boss SE-50 multi-effects 
    unit.  It does the job but I will admit that I am scouring the scene for 
    a spring reverb unit.  One note, the Boss SE-50 has an amazing variety 
    of effects and some, though not conventional surf, are very "underwater". 
    Amongst them are a delay function which runs from the pitch shifting 
    circuit so you get a washy delay with all sorts of harmonics and 
    intervals [adjustable] and it is very interesting.  I use it on a song 
    called Fist Full of Sand which is real beach feeling but does not sound 
    like any beach music that I have ever heard.  It's a small discovery for 
    me, I guess.  Another cool sound is a pseudo Leslie setting which allows 
    one to adjust speed and rotation of a lower half frequency range and an 
    upper half.  On the floor I use a Boss Phaser, which, as far as new 
    equipment goes, is very good, a Boss Chorus (the baby blue one), and I 
    turn it on full to get a vibrato [very submarine!] and of course, a 
    Thomas Organ Wah.  I will be experimenting with A/B-ing between amps 
    soon.  Guitars...I will discuss the three main stage/recording guitars:
    1. Purely for show but everyone loves it and it gets me chicks [ha ha] 
    is a custom made Lucite Flying V with a chrome pick-guard.  The neck is 
    a sixties Jazzmaster neck which had the headstock cut and relaminated to 
    look like a V headstock.  It has 3 [THREE!-yikes] Dimarzio humbuckers 
    which I must say got to go!  This guitar was built and owned ages ago by 
    an unknown in the Riverside CA area.  People in the music scene here do 
    cite its various owners, one of which I know, but basically, its a 
    mysterious anomally.  I found it in the classifieds for an undisclosed 
    great price.  Since getting it, it has been worked on to be playable. 
    One fun part is that each pickup is governed by a small on-off toggle, 
    one for each, and this allows for some very concise Pete Townsend/Richie 
    Blackmore/Van Halen type feedback w/on-off effecting.  Dimarzios and 
    Lucite are about as soulful as a high school air raid siren.  Don't try 
    this at home.  2. Now, to in part redeem myself. I have a '66 Fender 
    Musicmaster.  It's a beautiful red and was found at a garage sale along 
    with a small blackface Fender practice amp of same vintage for $100 - for 
    all!  Being that a Musicmaster will never be what a Jaguar is, I took the 
    artistic license to: add a warm PAF type humbucker in the non existent 
    "lead" pickup position.  Also, I added a pickup selecting toggle so that 
    I could switch between that and the original bridge pickup which sounds 
    great.  Finally, I have a Khaler [which sucks] in it but has a fluid 
    feel which fools a LOT of surf purists.  This is a fave guitar in the 
    studio.  It's very versatile, light and functional.  On stage, I usually 
    get too whammy happy and do enough dive bombs and such at the end of 
    songs to make this guitar last, say, one song.  3. Finally, a stock 
    mid-eighties maple necked Strat with EMG's.  A working man's guitar, 
    great sound, sturdy, happy.  I am tempted to mention my Rickenbacker lap 
    steel but because I play it very poorly, I'll simply share the fact that 
    it exists with y'all.  The pickup is a screamer and it did come with a 
    Bakelite slide which looks real weird.  I also must confess of my two 
    ukalele's.
     
 JOHN BLAIR:  I've just about stayed with the same equipment ever since the 
    first Jon & The Nightriders' record in 1979.  I trade off between a '64 
    Jaguar and a '58 Stratocaster (with a '62 birds-eye maple neck) depending 
    on the tune, a '72 Gibson J-50 acoustic (for a rhythm track in the studio 
    now and then), a 60's vintage Fender tank Reverb, and a pre-CBS Dual 
    Showman amp.  I use heavy-gauge, flatwound strings on the guitars 
    (although not on the Gibson!).  None of my equipment has been modified -- 
    except for the Strat's body/neck disparity (I bought it that way, so go 
    figure) -- and I don't use effects pedals (I'm probably the last 
    guitarist on the planet to stick with original equipment with no modern 
    sound enhancing devices).

 BOB DALLEY:  I have always been a Fender man.  Even back in the sixties I 
    played a Fender Tele through a Vox Super Beatle doing Inna-gadda-da-vida.  
    With the Surf Raiders I played a '63 Sunburst Fender Jaguar, a '62 brown 
    tolex reverb and a '64 blackface dual showman with Altec Lansings.  You 
    can see the equipment on the front of "Surfin' Guitars."  I sold all that 
    stuff to print the book but I now have a '65/66 Sunburst Fender Jaguar, a 
    62' Fender reverb unit (use to be brown but recover to White.  I have a 
    '64 blonde blackface Fender Showman with two 15" JBL's cabinets.  I use 
    a 57 reissue Fender strat to play the non surf stuff.  I have medium gage 
    flatwounds on the Jag to get the perfect surf sound.  Sorry John, your 
    not the only only guitarist left on the planet to stick with original
    equipment  And no modern sound enhancing devices!  
     
 TODD DAMNIT:  My gear?  Oh shit, here comes my most self-indulgent answer. 
    I love old gear, in general.  This pertains to almost everything: 
    furniture, clothes, etc.  One thing to consider is if it is reliable 
    cause a '62 reverb unit is useless if it doesn't crank up regularly. Here 
    is my shtuff: a '62 reissued Fender P bass, a wild, hollow, single 
    cutaway Harmony bass, and my newest and funnest, a black 60's Mosrite 
    bass.  I got amps.  Black face (Fender) Bassman head, Ampeg flip-top B15 
    bass amp, various Ampeg heads, a mammoth Sunn four 15 cabinet and head 
    system and some Altec cabinet I rigged.  I have a 1964 Fender reverb unit 
    and a Vox Jaguar organ.  Most of this stuff fit into my $150 ceiling 
    cause stuff can still be bought cheaply in Nashville.  The guitar players 
    in my combo both have old Fender guitars and several blackface Fender
    amps, blonde and black, and old as hell reverb units and fuzzy stuff. 
    We aren't slavish; it just worked out this way.  With all this fun stuff 
    you might think we would sound better, no?  One thing to add, a 15 inch 
    speaker is still my fave for reverberated guitars!
     
 MEL WALDORF:  It's taken me a while to collect my dream rig (there's that 
    pesky money issue...) but I'm almost there.  I use a mid sixties 
    Jazzmaster - something to see sporting a coral pink finish.  I run that 
    through a reissue Fender Reverb on into a blonde Showman head and a 
    Bandmaster 2x12" bottom.  The only other effect is a big muff, which I 
    use for fuzztone.  I've had other amps, but none get the lush tones.  
    I could sit for hours just playing tremolo dips.  Often do.  BTW-if 
    anyone out there knows of a lonely Fender 1x15" bottom, let me know.

 ALLEN WHITMAN:  Bass - '69 Fender P-Bass Body.  Boogie Bodies 4-String 
    Solid Birds-Eye Maple Neck (unfinished).  Chrome Schaller Tuners w/ One 
    (1) Black Hipshot Detuner "E" to "D".  Badass I Chrome Bridge.  Leo 
    Knapp Custom Wound Split-P Pickup with Alnico Magnets.  Passive 
    Electronics.  D'Addario XL230 (.055, .075, .090, .110).  This bass is 
    toothpaste green.  It has been stolen from me and I got it back within 
    minutes with the help of a few friends and a baseball bat.  I have had 
    it for 15 years.  Amp - Randall RB500.  Solid State, Rack Mounted.  Run 
    Mono, 385 Watts.  This amp is on permanent loan from my friend who got 
    it from his sister who was going out with the road manager of Tesla who 
    got it as a product endorsement deal.  Cabinet - Sunn 200S.  2 x 15", 
    Side-Vented.  Electro-Voice EV15B Series II speakers.  These cabinets 
    were manufactured for Sunn by JBL in the late '60's and early '70's.  
    I got the story from an engineer at Dolby Labs who used to work for Sunn 
    in the seventies.
 
 RICK JOHNSON:  I've been told I'm a snob when it comes to equipment.  I've 
    got 3 Jaguars ('63, '64, '72), a Showman ('63) and a reverb unit ('63). 
    I really don't like to play anything else.  Fender, Fender, Fender...
     
 RICK ESCOBAR:  Well for equipment I play a Jazzmaster re-issue "bla" but 
    after some work it plays fine and I have to say it really does a great 
    job of staying in tune.  I play this through a black face Dual Showman, 
    Reverb tank and an enclosed 2x12 cab with 100 watt JBL's.  Rhythm guitarist 
    Dave Mangainte has an original Jag, a black face Showman with 2x15's and 
    a tank.  Dave has tons of tone.  Also both our reverb tanks go to 11.

 DAVID ARNSON:  My favorite amplifier is a Fender super reverb; I love its 
    pillowy reverb tones.  I used to play a G&L guitar and a Mosrite, but 
    both were stolen in a heartbreaking incident.  The Mosrite had been
    autographed by the Ventures and Davie Allan at gigs we had played with 
    them.  I went back to my original guitar, a 1961 Gibson SG Special, and 
    it turned out to sound great.  It has a great tremolo bar and I can get
    John Cippolina, Link Wray and ultimately my own sounds from it.  My 
    backup guitar is a cool pushbutton pickup Goya Rangemaster.  High E 
    string on down is an .011, .014, .018, .030, .044, and a .052. 
    Unfortunately I always have to mix string sets!  I use nylon picks 'cause 
    I always bust plastic ones.  I have a footswitch to control amp vibrato,
    a compressor for leads, and an Arion stage tuner so I don't seem like a 
    total spazz trying to tune up live.  When I grow up I want to get an 
    outboard Fender Reverb unit.

 COSMIK DEBRIS:  Well, it's time to wrap this up, I'm afraid.  It's been
    a lot of fun.  I suppose all that's left to ask is...what's next for
    all of you?  Projects in the works?

 JOHN BLAIR:  Yeah, it's been cool.  I'm grateful to have been included in 
    this interesting group (now, if all of us could meet in a studio 
    somewhere, we could cut "We Are The Surf."  There'd be a sign over the 
    doorway that says 'Leave Your Marshall Stack Outside').  In the works 
    for me right now is a new Jon & The Nightriders' record.  Our original 
    drummer, Dusty Watson, and rhythm guitarist, Dave Wronski are back in 
    action and we're lucky to have Pete Curry (multi-instrumentalist 
    extraordinaire) join us on bass.  (Ed. Note: Pete Curry is also Rick 
    Johnson's bandmate/guitarist in The Halibuts)  At this point in time,
    we're about halfway through the project, which is coming along nicely 
    and will involve a surprise or two I think.  After we finish the 
    recording, I'm hoping we can get out and about for some live shows.

 PHIL DIRT:  Over the past decade, I've recorded a large volume of live 
    performance from surf bands.  I've written a series of CDR's for use on 
    Surf's Up! called "Gremmie's Jukebox" from the highlights. I'm looking 
    for a label interested in a series like this, or even some full CD's from 
    some of this material. In most cases, the bands are willing.  It's just 
    the usual label BS.  I'm also expanding my web page by leaps & bounds 
    (www.cygnus.com/kfjc/surf/). I'm hoping to develop a full listing of all 
    the surf instro releases since about 1980 to serve as a data base / 
    clearing house.  Beyond that, I'd like to my show syndicated to the dry 
    areas...

 COSMIK DEBRIS:  You'd certainly have my undivided attention here in Seattle.

 BERNARD YIN:  Despite priding myself on a sort of "bastard son of surf" 
    trip, Brazil 2001 is actually continuing surf influenced sounds in the 
    repertoire; many of which are instrumental.  We are interested in the 
    big time but when working on such, represent ourselves NOT as a surf 
    band but certainly cite it as a strong influence.  The group is less 
    than a year old and has been offered a deal and draws industry vultures 
    to its shows.  BUT despite all of this, which occurs naturally here in 
    LA, the group was started for fun and will continue to exist purely for 
    that reason.  Recording is an unsung great stimuli for any band and we 
    are doing some more soon which I intend to share with all sub-cowabungans. 
    (Ed. Note: "Cowabunga" is an e-mail list for surf music lovers that 
    has a lot of well known musicians who post regularly, including everybody
    in this interview. Send the message "subscribe Cowabunga" to 
    listserv@ucsd.edu).  Last night we did a gig with some friends' band and 
    it was a nice reminder of how cool it is to just have fun bills and get 
    silly.  There is a great one on the horizon which I will announce via 
    Cowabunga of similar ilk.  As for myself, I am experimenting with a 
    producer friend where we incorporate serious twang into genres not 
    normally associated with the tone or even guitar.  I think it's 
    soundtrack destined.  Oh well.  I think having a day job, believe it or 
    not, keeps the music exciting!  I have been surprised with the last year 
    because I found myself really having fun.  All I can ask for is that this 
    continues and that the waves are BIG!
 
 FERENC DOBRONYI:  1996 figures to be the Big-fun year for Pollo Del Mar. We
    plan on taking mini tours to So. Cal and the Pacific Northwest, and maybe 
    a side trip to Texas, and (BIG if) the Holy Grail: Japan. We would also 
    like to release a CD.

 TODD DAMNIT:  What is in store for Thee Phantomb 5ive?  Besides me actually 
    learning to play the bass guitar, I would like to keep making records. 
    The fact that all of my combo have solid day jobs frees us up, somewhat. 
    I don't have as much pressure to deliver tunes that gotta sell, do y'all 
    understand?  So we have 7's to record this fall for Solamente, Dionysus, 
    and Get Hip, which'll keep us busy.  I do not worry that I am painting 
    myself into a corner by blastin out instros, but rather am excited about 
    really hittin upon something solid in the future. To sum this up, Thee 
    Phantom 5ive are going nowhere and that suits me.  P.S. I am looking for 
    a saxman to round out the sound and I also have a big house( trailer?) 
    for any of you surfmen that may venture into the city of guitars. 

 BOB DALLEY:  My projects in the works continue to be promote and preserve 
    surf music in any form I can.  Currently working on 2nd edition on 
    "Surfin' Guitars", a first edition on the bands of the surf music revival 
    1979-1995, and a book on the Surf Raiders, An American Surf Band.  I am 
    also waiting for John Blair, Don Murrey and Pete Curry to move to Utah 
    so we can get a bad-assed surf band going up here.  (I'm lonely!)  Again,
    thanks to all.  It has been interesting reading and an education for me 
    to see all the different opinions relating to surf music.  Let's do this 
    again soon.  
 
 RICK ESCOBAR:  Well, we start recording for a CD "I hope" in 2 weeks, so 
    I'm crossing my fingers!

 MEL WALDORF:  I look forward to making more music.  Also, I think it would 
    be really cool to get a more solid scene going here in the east.  There's 
    a bunch of interest, but it hasn't quite gelled.  It's an exciting time 
    to be a surf player. 
 
 RICK JOHNSON:  The Halibuts are wrapping up in the studio right now for 
    another release for Upstart. It should be out early next year.
 
 PEPPER WILSON:  Death Valley has another set of tunes ready to go, in a
    "Ventures in Space" vein.  We are currently talking with Dave Crider of 
    Estrus Records to put it out.  If that falls through, it will go out on 
    Double Naught, like Que Pasta!  Death Valley had planned a west coast 
    tour for this past summer, but it fell through due to the loss of our 
    drummer, Blue.  Joe, Mear and I are in search of another at this time 
    and will pick up where we left off.  We hope to get out west next spring.
 
 DAVID ARNSON:  Insect Surfers will be putting out our own cd soon as 
    possible, as well as playing in San Francisco and San Diego.  We will 
    continue to put out tunes as long as our planet still has an ozone layer.

 ALLEN WHITMAN:  The Mermen have to tour.  Martyn doesn't really want to, 
    Jim doesn't care what happens and I love playing out.  So, a two-month 
    North American tour in early '96.  Then work on a new studio album for 
    release in late spring.  Maybe Europe in the summer.  I hope so.  It's 
    the main thing that keeps me from worrying about the massive debts we're 
    piling up.  Like Henry Kaiser says: "RECORD COMPANIES = PROBLEMS."  What 
    happens when you agree to allow them to license your back catalog and 
    then they don't release anything for three years?   Sometimes I think 
    that it would be way better to sell less cd's and make more money on 
    each one by doing it all yourself, at grassroots level.  Everything on a 
    more realistic scale.  We don't want to compete with the likes of Barbara 
    Streisand and AC/DC.  But, it beats working as a temp!  PS: I welcome all 
    comments and inquiries, every question answered (eventually), and thanks 
    to Deej for making this happen!!!

 PHIL DIRT:  I've been honored to participate in your exchange.  As a 
    non-musician producer engineer DJ historian fan, I've been privileged 
    to be included in your inner circle, and in many cases, you guys are 
    my personal friends as well.  Thanks...keep kicking the reverb.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

 LABELLED: Upstart Records - An interview with Glenn Dicker.
 Interviewed by DJ Johnson
  
      Most record labels start with an obscure release or two or twenty,
 and if they handle them well, things start to go their way, and bands of
 higher skill levels begin to show an interest.  This process usually takes
 several years.  Upstart Records, of Cambridge, Mass, has only been in
 existence for two years.  The first record they released was "Instruments 
 Of Terror," by Laika & The Cosmonauts.  That's a pretty damned impressive 
 first release.  Actually, that would be an impressive 20th release.  In 
 short order, Upstart obtained a stable of some of the most talented artists 
 in the music biz, from Teisco del Rey to The Halibuts to Nick Lowe.  This 
 month, we had the pleasure of discussing this incredible label with Glenn 
 Dicker, one of its three owners.  In talking to Glenn, one can't help but
 envy him.  He gets to spend his day immersed in music, and one thing is
 certain...his passion for the music is very real.  As Glenn would say, 
 "as long as it rocks!"  
   
 ---------------------------------------------------------------------------
   
 COSMIK DEBRIS:  Let's go all the way back to the beginning, here.  What
     got you into music?
  
 Glenn:  That's a tough one, cause my parents really weren't big music fans, 
     so there wasn't much music in my house growing up.  A couple of things 
     early on come to mind however.  My sister played her Beach Boys records 
     a lot and listened to the radio with songs like "Baby Love, Love" that 
     competely got me fired up.  I also remember watching the Monkees on 
     Saturday mornings and thinking "how cool," when I was real young.  I 
     was interested in playing instruments since as far back as I can 
     remember, though.  My best friend's family had tons of stuff laying 
     around, guitar, accordion, piano, and other junk, and we used to always 
     play around with them when I went over his house.  

 CD:  What kind of music were you playing? 

 Glenn:  We basically would try to learn stuff off the radio or off our 
     older sisters' records like Beatles tunes, The Who, anything really at 
     first.  Then we got into punk rock stuff and began writing songs, or 
     what we thought were songs anyway.  Eventually we ended up in Boston 
     and got together with some other guys who were into rocking and we 
     recorded some stuff.  Turned out pretty good I think.         
  
 CD:  What caused you to make the leap from performer to label owner?  
   
 Glenn:  I was always interested in putting out records by people other than 
     myself as a "what I want to do when I grow up" kind of thing while I was 
     in a band.  I figured that was the best way for me to keep rocking when 
     the band thing was done.
  
 CD:  Do you ever miss performing?  
   
 Glenn:  I still play with bands, but not on any serious level.  Just for the 
     sake of rocking.  
       
 CD:  You've had some amazing talent on your label, and the thing that is
     so amazing is you actually started out with a Laika & The Cosmonauts
     album, "Instruments Of Terror," so you really hit the ground running.
     Were you surprised by how quickly things fell into place, or am I way
     off in assuming they did?
  
 Glenn:  You assume correctly.  Putting out the Laika record was exactly 
     what really got things rolling immediately.  As soon as we got that 
     going, everything really fell into place quickly with Teisco, the 
     Tailgators, the Halibuts and it just kept moving after that.  It was 
     an unstoppable thing once we got going.  We'll always look on Laika 
     in a very special way, since they were the spark that really got us 
     going.  Not to mention they've become close friends.

 CD:  How did you manage to line up Laika as a first release?
  
 Glenn:  That's a cool story.  What happened was that one of my partners at 
     the time was working for Rounder Records doing Export, and the Finnish 
     version of "Instruments" on Amigo records ended up on his desk by some 
     twist of fate.  They were looking for some mail order support in the 
     States and we grabbed the CD and checked it out.  We all thought it was 
     amazing, still do, and it was then that the three of us decided to work 
     together and put out this record in the U.S.  It couldn't of been a 
     better thing to start a label with.  I've always loved surf music and 
     this was beyond anything I considered pure surf, something new.    
   
 CD:  You've certainly put out a lot of quality instro records, but I gotta
     ask you about Nick Lowe.  How did you happen to hook up with him?
  
 Glenn:  That was another amazing thing.  My partner, Jake Guralnick, 
     produced a record by Sleepy LaBeef and sent a copy to Nick's English 
     label, Demon Records, to check out and possibly get a quote for the 
     press kit.  Nick wrote back saying how much he enjoyed the album.  
     Then Jake met Nick at an Elvis Costello show near Boston later.  
     Eventually, we all learned that Nick had been dropped from Warners 
     and had an album recorded and ready to go.  We all decided that this 
     would at the least be a good learning experience to express our 
     interest in putting the album out on Upstart, and at best could get 
     lucky and actually be able to release it.  Well, after going back and 
     forth, and Nick and his people getting to know us, (they) decided we 
     were the exact label they were looking for.  So we got the gig and put 
     out "The Impossible Bird."  Then this past summer we released a live 
     EP called "Live!  On The Battlefield," and on October 31st, we're 
     reissuing Nick's Warner Brothers release, Party Of One.  The three 
     Upstarts, Jake, Chris Cote and myself are actually going to London in 
     December to go to a couple of Nick solo gigs over there at which he'll 
     be trying out some new material.  So perhaps you'll see a new Nick 
     album in '96.  He's real pleased to be on Upstart.  We're, of course, 
     ecstatic.
  
 CD:  Nick's a great producer, too.  Any chance he might be doing some of
     that for a few of your other bands in the future?
  
 Glenn:  Funny you asked that.  That question runs through my mind, too, 
     cause I think it would be real fun to do something with Nick as a 
     producer.  Nick's basically sort of hung it up, producer-wise, but I 
     think if the right project came along that really was up Nick's alley, 
     he'd probably consider it.   
   
 CD:  What's the situation at Upstart?  Do you have employees, or do you
     fly solo?
  
 Glenn:  Well there are three Upstarts, as I mentioned before.  We also have 
     an employee who works on our tour publicity.  And we have two part time 
     people, together making one full time job, doing radio charting for CMJ 
     reporting stations.  We are nationally distributed through Rounder, so 
     we also have access to their staff to help do what needs to be done for 
     our records.
  
 CD:  Did you seek out Rounder, or did they come looking for you?
  
 Glenn:  I wish I could say that tons of folks were looking at us and 
     saying, "These guy rock - we need to hook up with them."  But that's 
     far from the case.  All three of the Upstarts worked at Rounder doing 
     various jobs and when we were getting the ball rolling- we had Laika, 
     Teisco and Tailgators records all planned - we decided to go to them 
     before we actually released any of them and ask if they'd consider 
     Upstart for National Distribution.  Rounder nationally distributed 
     other cool labels like Black Top out of New Orleans and a few others, 
     but had nothing like Upstart, so we thought why not ask.  And they 
     basically said "Sure, sounds good."  So we were in business.  Rounder 
     has always been real supportive of Upstart, so we're real pumped to be 
     with them.    
  
 CD:  Indelicate question a'comin'...Is Upstart paying your bills?  So many
     quality labels just barely get by...
  
 Glenn:  Well, at this point we're just getting by.  But we are constantly 
     encouraged by increased sales.  So for just being around for less than 
     two years, we've managed to release 20 albums and we're growing in a 
     positive way.  We expect, as time goes by, we'll get through to more 
     people.  We're definitely optimistic about the future.
   
 CD:  Do you think you've got the Upstart formula pretty well set, or do
     you want to branch out into other musical styles?
  
 Glenn:  Well, there's no set formula, that's for sure.  We like to say 
     that Upstart is into putting out music that makes any party rock.   
     But aside from that, we're open to anything.  We like to keep folks, 
     and ourselves, guessing what we'll do next.  Keeps things fresh and 
     fun that way.  No need to get into only one type of music, there's so 
     much great stuff out there, and we believe that variety keeps it 
     rockin'! 

 CD:  Now that you've got the perspective of a few years experience, is this
     label business what you hoped it would be?  
       
 Glenn:  Yeah, I knew it would be a pain in the ass in a lot of ways, but 
     overall, I'm completely enjoying it and love rocking with all the great 
     bands we're involved with.
  
 CD:  Do you do much in the way of A&R hunting, or do you mostly work with
     established bands you cross paths with?
  
 Glenn:  We don't really have any set way of getting bands on our label.  
     We've signed bands that we liked because they sent us a demo tape and 
     we never even saw 'em live, we signed bands that were referred to us 
     and we loved them, we signed bands that we loved after we saw them...
     basically, whatever rocks us, for whatever reason, we consider. 
       
 CD:  Speaking of A&R, do you get an avalanche of unsolicited tapes?
  
 Glenn:  We get a bunch of tapes, which we listen to all of.  We don't mind 
     getting tapes, we get a lot of cool stuff that way.  I think it's only 
     fair to give everything a listen.  It can be humorous for a variety of 
     reasons as well.  Some people amaze me with what they send or perceive 
     that we would be a good label for.  But you can find some real gems 
     sometimes.
  
 CD:  Without naming names, can you tell us some of the more bizarre things 
     people have sent you?
  
 Glenn:  Some of the most hilarious stuff is the one-man-band kind of thing, 
     many times I guess the guy is so lame he couldn't pay someone to play 
     the drums or bass with him, so the programmed bass and drum works fine 
     for him.  Well, that's wrong, it usually sounds ridiculous.  But 
     sometimes underneath all the crap there is good songwriting, but usually 
     not.  I also get a kick out of the singer-songwriter stuff people send 
     us, which is far from our forte.  Very mellow stuff that just makes your 
     stomach turn inside out.  Can't ever listen to demos right after a big 
     meal.   
   
 CD:  We always ask this question.  As a favor to the unsigned hopefuls out
     there, y'know?  If a band wants to record for Upstart, what should they
     do?
  
 Glenn:  Send us a demo tape or CD, press kit, etc.  We can't get back to 
     everyone, but if we're interested, we'll definitely contact folks.  A 
     self addressed stamped postcard is also a good way to get a response.
   
 CD:  And bands of what genre have the best chance of attracting your 
     attention right now?
  
 Glenn:  Well, we're pretty open minded.  My only suggestion is before 
     sending anything, become familiar with the label and try to 
     realistically determine if you could see your stuff on our label in 
     context with the other acts.  
   
 CD:  I want to talk about the entire process, from start to finish, of 
     putting out a record.  Starting from the initial notion, what is the
     usual procedure, ending with the finished product in my CD changer?

 Glenn:  This is kinda tricky.  It goes through many steps.  Alright, here's 
     an example of what can happen.  We hear a band we like, check 'em out 
     live whenever possible, and decide we'd like to work with them.  Then 
     we discuss the idea with the band and their management, if they have any.  
     We like to make sure that we will enjoy working with the band as people 
     too.  Then we send them a contract, which they go over and work out with  
     their people, and usually go back and forth a bit.  If everyone agrees, 
     then you sign the contracts and plan out a release date, and if the
     record needs to be recorded and wasn't done previous to this point, you 
     work out those details.  Then you discuss different ways to work the 
     album to radio, press, retail, and other areas of interest.  Touring is 
     always made a priority for us to even consider working with someone.  
     Then the album gets mastered and sent to the plant and produced.  Then 
     it gets shipped out to the distributors and we start kicking some ass 
     so people will want to hear it, go out and buy the thing and start 
     rocking. 
   
 CD:  Do you usually offer contracts that are for one release, or do you go 
     for long-term deals?  
  
 Glenn:  We prefer to get into a long-term relationship with artists so as 
     label and artist we can grow together.  This way it's a partnership for 
     the future of both label and artist.  We have done one-off's, though, 
     with several people, and sometimes that is just the way it works out, 
     however, multi-record deals are preferred.
  
 CD: So who are the bands that you have long-term contracts with?

 Glenn:  We have multi-album contracts with a lot of bands, like Laika, Los 
     Straitjackets, Vidalias, Tailgators, Dennis Brennan, Big Ass Truck and 
     many more.  I'd say the majority is that way.      
     
 CD:  Who are you working with for upcoming releases?  And I sure hope The
     Halibuts are one of 'em...
  
 Glenn:   Yeah, the Halibuts will have a new album, perhaps in June.  We 
     also have new albums coming out by Teisco Del Rey and the Tailgators 
     in January, Big Ass Truck in February, a compilation of Laika stuff 
     from pre-Instruments of Terror era in March.  Also next year there'll 
     be a new Los Straitjackets album being recorded in December with Ben 
     Vaughn producing again.  Also an album of Truck Driving songs by various 
     artists including Buck Owens, Junior Brown and Son Volt to name but a 
     few.  Also a new Vidalias album will come out in '96.
  
 CD:  I saw a message you posted on an e-mail list about Los Straitjackets
     and their current tour.  Do you do a lot of promoting when a band hits 
     the road?
  
 Glenn:  Touring is the number one priority for us.  If you don't tour, 
     forget it.  It's absolutely necessary.  Touring is the best way we can 
     promote an album.  Seems obvious, but you'd be amazed how difficult it 
     is for bands on this level to tour.  It's very expensive and hard work, 
     but again, you gotta suck it up and do it, or we can't do our job.  I 
     believe we do great promotion for touring bands.  It makes all the 
     difference.  No way to skip over touring for new bands.
   
 CD:  How involved do you get in that?  Do you arrange the tours, promote,
     and all that, or do you farm that work out?
  
 Glenn:  We are involved in almost every aspect of most artist's careers 
     that we have a current album with.  We go as far as to trying to get 
     artists who need booking agents hooked up with one.  We've been fairly 
     successful with this effort so far.  As far as booking tours ourselves, 
     man, that's not what we can do.  What we do do is make sure that there 
     is press and radio stuff happening to help promote the show, consider 
     advertising the date and getting local retailers involved by hanging 
     posters and of course making sure they have stock.  We even call the 
     venue and make sure they've got everything they need to make the show 
     a success.

 CD:  Does that aspect of the job get pretty crazy? 

 Glenn:  Tour promotion is crazy, yet it's incredibly fun and satisfying, 
     too.  It's loads of work, but it pays off in articles in local press, 
     radio interviews and giveaways and airplay, posters and stock in stores, 
     venues with posters and of course the end goal - better attended gigs, 
     making the artist happy and increased sales in that market.       
   
 CD:  Los Straitjackets have to be one of the more interesting bands out
     there right now, with the wrestling masks and all, not to mention the
     incredibly intense music.  Do you have any good stories from working
     with them, or are they pretty normal in the studio?
  
 Glenn:  They're incredibly funny guys.  We've had some great times hanging 
     out with them.  I've rocked with them in Nashville and when they've 
     played up here in Boston.  They've got a great sense of humor, if you 
     haven't noticed from them onstage, but are like that all the time too.  
     Great guys.  I haven't had the privilege of being in the studio when 
     they were recording, but I'm sure it's been a killer time.  Danny Amis 
     has some good stories about some of his experiences working with TNN 
     and the Opry.  You might wanna ask him sometime.
  
 CD:  Another band you've worked with is Thee Phantom 5ive.  Todd is an
     e-mail buddy of mine, but we've never met.  Now, he's GOTTA be fun to
     work with.  (Ed. Note: Todd is one of the participants in The Great 
     Surf Summit interview in this issue) 

 Glenn:  Todd is a very close friend of mine and he's put me up many times 
     at his place in Nashville.  I saw Thee Phantom 5ive once in Nashville 
     and thought they were great.  They, too, have a good sense of humor.  
     Todd and I met when he lived in Boston.
  
 CD:  What are the fringe benefits of your work?
    
 Glenn:  Ah yes.  Well, I get free CD's from Upstart.  Also I get to meet 
     an incredibly cool bunch of people, get to travel to exotic lands like 
     Memphis and Charleston, West Virginia, and get to hang out with the 
     bands.  Sometimes I can even get some free food at parties we throw for 
     record release gigs.
   
 CD:  Do you have moments of satisfaction where you put on the headphones 
     and listen to a new release and say "I played a big part in getting 
     this great album out there?"  
  
 Glenn:  Oh my God, definitely!  Maybe not taking a lot of credit for it 
     happening, but definitely in saying, "I'm so fuckin' pumped that Upstart 
     has this killer record on our label."  That's the most satisfying thing, 
     cause we're so into the music we put out, totally.     
  
 CD:  I assume there's a downside to running a label as well? 
   
 Glenn:  Well, it takes a lot of effort and time, but if you're into the 
     music, which is the ONLY reason we do it, then it's totally worth it.
       
 CD:  Do you think you still want to be doing this in twenty years?
   
 Glenn:  Absolutely.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------   

 MOBILE FIDELITY SOUND LABS -- AN AUDIOPHILE'S DREAM
 By Steve Marshall
      
      In 1977, Mobile Fidelity Sound Labs began producing the first true 
 audiophile albums -- the trademarked Original Master Recordings. Starting 
 with such classic titles as Pink Floyd's "Dark Side of the Moon" & The 
 Beatles' "Abbey Road" (later to be followed by the entire Beatles catalog), 
 MFSL quickly became known as the industry leader in state-of-the-art 
 recordings. In several instances (such as the majority of The Beatles' 
 catalog), the MFSL vinyl versions were sonically superior to their 
 commercially available compact disc counterparts.
      In the following years, other companies (such as Nautilus) tried to 
 compete for a share of the market. As technologies developed further, MFSL 
 produced its exclusive UHQR (Ultra High Quality Record) series. Pressed on 
 200 grams of pure virgin vinyl and limited to only 5000 copies, each title
 quickly became highly sought after by collectors. While MFSL continued to 
 get the top artists in the music business, the competition couldn't keep up. 
 In 1984, as vinyl began fading from public acceptance, MFSL entered the CD 
 market and had released 16 titles by year's end.
      In 1987, the 24 karat gold Ultradisc made its debut. After additional 
 refinements in the mastering process, they introduced the Ultradisc II -- 
 now recognized as the new standard in recorded music by critics and 
 consumers alike.  Due in part to the titles MFSL has chosen, and their new
 trademarked GAIN System (Greater Ambient Information Network) used to master 
 the new releases, the Ultradisc II series has met with great critical and 
 commercial success.  Using the new GAIN System technology, MFSL has also 
 returned to manufacturing audiophile vinyl releases with its new Anadisq 
 200 series.
      The next portion of this article will focus on five of MFSL's gold 
 Ultradisc II releases, while the following part will take a look at some of 
 the company's new Anadisq 200 vinyl releases.  MFSL's 1990 release of The 
 Who's classic double album, "Tommy", finds the two albums combined onto one 
 CD (before MCA did it). The sound on the newly remastered MCA version is 
 crisper, but the MFSL one is warmer -- especially on "Sparks". The 
 percussion is very clear on the song, more so than on the MCA version. The 
 drums are louder and a bit muddier on the MFSL version, but it sounds more 
 like the original vinyl release of the album. The lyrics and the rest of 
 the booklet have been faithfully reproduced. The main thing that will make 
 collectors seek out this CD though, is the alternate version of "Eyesight 
 to the Blind" -- only available on the MFSL CD -- featuring a different 
 vocal track by Roger Daltrey.
      Next up is the 1993 release of the Derek and the Dominos double album, 
 "Layla and Other Assorted Love Songs". Using the original mix of the album 
 (which is good), as opposed to the remixed one currently available from 
 Polydor, the MFSL version has a higher output level than it's Polydor 
 counterpart. The vocals are slightly distorted at times, as if the levels 
 were a bit too high during the mastering process. Even with the minor 
 distortion on the voices, the sound is still markedly better than the 
 original vinyl.  There is some tape hiss evident on the MFSL version that
 isn't heard on the Polydor release, but it's usually not enough to be 
 distracting. The best thing about the MFSL release though, is the booklet. 
 It features an informative six-page essay by the album's executive producer, 
 Tom Dowd on the recording of the album. It also contains photos not found 
 in the original album, as well as a fold-out poster of the album's inside 
 photo collage.
      In the spring of 1994, Mobile Fidelity released the first album by The 
 Alan Parsons Project, "Tales of Mystery and Imagination". On this CD, like 
 the "Layla" release, MFSL used the original 1976 mix rather than the 1987 
 one. However after hearing the 1987 version, with the Orson Welles narration 
 during "A Dream Within a Dream" and the additional guitar solos added 
 throughout the CD, the MFSL version sounds like something is missing. The 
 CD has a warm timbre and good separation, but pales slightly when compared 
 to the original vinyl, which is crisper  and has more punch. Since the 
 original mix of the album is not available on CD though, MFSL deserves kudos 
 for using the original mix rather than putting out another copy of the 1987 
 version.
      1995 saw the MFSL release of Clapton's first solo album, "Eric Clapton."
 Channel separation on the CD is excellent.  The entire album sounds much 
 more spacious than the original CD. Throughout the album, the instruments 
 are distinct and very well defined. For example, on "Let it Rain" (a song
 I've heard thousands of times), I was able to hear things I've never heard 
 before, and with a clarity that was startling. Clapton's solo in the bridge 
 of the song sounds better than ever. The bass guitar on the CD was resonant,
 never muddy.
      Also released by MFSL in 1995 was Todd Rundgren's double-LP masterpiece, 
 "Something/Anything?".  Originally released on Bearsville in 1972, 
 "Something/Anything?" contains some of Rundgren's biggest hits. Where the 
 Ultradisc II version really shines however, is on the more obscure tracks 
 like "One More Day (No Word)" and "Wolfman Jack", with all the instruments 
 and voices sounding distinct and natural. It's a shame that MFSL couldn't 
 get the alternate version of "Wolfman Jack" with the Wolfman himself sharing 
 the vocals for their version of the CD. Encased in a handsome slipcover
 featuring the original cover art, the two CDs come with a 24-page booklet 
 containing several new photos, a reproduction of the poster that came with 
 the album, plus lyrics and full liner notes for all the tracks. In addition,
 the booklet has it's own slipcover explaining the GAIN System (on the 
 inside) as well. The only thing wrong with the packaging on "Something/
 Anything" is the inclusion of at least one photo from a different time 
 period.  Aside from that, MFSL did a superb job on this one.
      Time to move on to the vinyl releases now. Utilizing the new GAIN 
 System technology, and a new high-end pressing facility, MFSL debuted the 
 Anadisq 200. These numbered limited edition vinyl pressings pick up where 
 the Original Master Recordings left off -- only better. Each title is 
 strictly limited to 500 pressings per stamper to assure that the quality 
 remains consistent throughout the production process. Also the new albums 
 are heavier than their OMR predecessors, pressed on 200 grams of high 
 definition virgin vinyl. All the Anadisq 200 releases are mastered at
 half-speed to allow every nuance of the master tapes to be accurately 
 transferred to the vinyl. The albums are then specially packaged to 
 maintain flatness & prevent warping.  Each album is limited to 5000 copies. 
 On rare occasions, there may be additional pressings.
      One such title was the debut release of the new Anadisq 200 series, 
 Muddy Waters "Folk Singer". Originally released by MFSL in the spring of 
 1994, "Folk Singer" is now on it's third pressing, and understandably so. 
 There are not enough superlatives in the English language to come close to
 describing the sound quality on this album.  It won the prestigious 1995 
 Golden Note Award for Best Reissue from The Academy for the Advancement of 
 High End Audio, and deservedly so. The Anadisq pressing was extremely quiet, 
 no surface noise whatsoever. The dynamic range and clarity of the 1963 
 recording are nothing short of amazing. As if the sound quality wasn't 
 enough, the performance is equally as good. "Folk Singer" boasts an all-star 
 lineup of musicians with a young Buddy Guy on guitar on all but one song, 
 and the great Willie Dixon on upright bass on four songs. If you want to 
 hear a classic acoustic blues album, performed by a group of legendary 
 musicians that sound like they're in the same room with you -- buy this 
 album.  It doesn't get any better than this.
      Also in the spring of 1994 (as noted above), MFSL released the debut 
 album from The Alan Parsons Project. The album sounds very warm and clear, 
 although this particular copy had an excessive amount of surface noise. 
 Overlooking the poor pressing, the sound quality is superb and free of any
 distortion. The album's separation and dynamic range are superb. The 
 orchestra is simply breathtaking on "The Fall of the House of Usher". The 
 whirling middle section in "The Tell-Tale Heart" is mesmerizing. The booklet 
 from the original album is included here (in full size).  Dim the lights and 
 turn up the volume.
      1995 has seen the release of several fine new titles in the Anadisq 200 
 series. Todd Rundgren's "Something/Anything?" is one such title. The 
 packaging isn't quite as elaborate as the Ultradisc II version, but  the 
 sheer bulk of the 2LP set is impressive in itself. The Anadisq 200 version 
 comes with a 22-inch square rendition of the poster, with the complete 
 lyrics & liner notes on the back.  Sound quality is excellent, much clearer 
 than the original issue in 1972. The output level is low here, but the 
 instruments and vocals seem more natural & have greater dynamic range.
      Also released this year was the vinyl version of Eric Clapton 
 self-titled solo album, "Eric Clapton".  As is the case on some of the 
 Anadisq 200 titles, the output level is low. However, by simply turning up 
 the volume when you play the album, you will find the instruments all very 
 well defined. The bass is extremely distinct throughout the album. Clapton's 
 guitar work on the album has never sounded clearer.
      Keeping in a guitarist vein, we move on to the MFSL release of B.B. 
 King's classic 1968 album "Lucille". Like the Muddy Waters album, the 
 pressing is free of any surface noise. The sound quality on the album is 
 incredible. Captured in just two days of recording sessions in December 
 1968, the album sounds like it could have been recorded yesterday. The 
 album has an almost big-band sound to it at times, and the horns are all 
 clear & easily distinguishable from each other.  
      The last album to be reviewed here is R.E.M.'s debut album, "Murmur". 
 The sound quality on the Anadisq 200 is much better than it's original 
 release. The highs are crisp and clear, the bass is deep & resonant. The 
 guitars on "Talk About the Passion" sound more natural than ever before. 
 Mike Mills' bass guitar is full of punch, especially on "9-9" and "Catapult". 
 There was a scratch on the second side of the copy I received that caused a 
 skip during "Sitting Still".  However, when played a second time, the 
 scratch was not audible at all.
      All of the titles in the Anadisq 200 series have a disclaimer (as did 
 their OMR predecessors) concerning pops and ticks being heard during 
 playback of the albums. It explains how the metal parts in the mastering 
 process are not de-horned to retain the transients of the musical signal. 
 As the discs are played more, the stylus will polish the grooves and 
 actually improve the sonic quality of the album.
      Mobile Fidelity continues to release a wide variety of titles from 
 across the musical spectrum, and makes no compromise in the production of 
 it's Ultradisc II and Anadisq 200 series of audiophile recordings.  The 
 only way you'll hear these releases in better quality is to listen to the 
 original master tapes.  
 ---------------------------------------------------------------------------
		 
 THE BEST CHANNEL ON TELEVISION
 By DJ Johnson
 

      Sometimes I just don't know what to think about the boys and girls on
 The Hill in DC.  Every time I turn on C-SPAN, I see behavior that makes me
 cringe!  As a general example, let's say Congressional type person A is
 making a speech about the need for brass spittoons in the womens' bathroom 
 of the Supreme Court.  Okay, that's slightly more interesting than most of
 the speeches they really make, but we're generalizing here.  What happens
 next is predictable.  Somebody, almost always from the opposite political
 party, will start trying to talk over the person.  Not like they do on 
 Crossfire or Nightline, mind you, but pseudo-politely.  In a terse voice,
 with indignation bursting in air, they'll say "WILL THE GENTLEMAN YIELD?!?"
 No, the gentleman will usually not yield, nor will the gentleman even flinch
 or miss a beat.  The other "gentleman" or "lady" will continue shouting his
 or her request that the other person shut the hell up and listen to them
 for awhile until the gavel is smacked onto the table, calling for order.
      This is Washington DC, the home game.  Thanks to C-SPAN, we are now
 able to confirm our worst fears about the people we have chosen to represent
 us in government.  We are able to see how they behave on a day to day basis.
 We watched with great amusement as Al Swift turned his back on a speaker and
 folded his arms in anger because that person wouldn't yield.  He was really
 mad because that person was all for investigating the House bank scandal, a
 notion that Al didn't think much of.  We watched in horror as Bob Packwood
 tried to snow-shovel the blame off of himself and onto anyone who happened
 by.  Time and time again, we see people try to tell the truth in committee
 meetings, only to be silenced by dirty tricks ranging from filibuster-style
 speeches to lines of questioning obviously designed to lead everyone off
 the track.  This is Washington DC, the soap opera, filled with enough evil
 villians to satisfy even the most jaded Melrose Place fan.
      One of the most disconcerting things about watching C-SPAN is that you
 are forced to realize that these are the people running the country.  You 
 want to believe that people with such a lofty responsibility will at least be
 good and decent folk who possess excellent manners and have a great sense
 of diplomacy.  There it is... Diplomacy.  That's what's missing from the
 mix these days.  In fact, there isn't even any courtesy left on The Hill.
 When a speech is being made, unless it's about one of the high profile bills
 that everyone wants a piece of, you'll hear so much talk going on in the
 background that you'll barely be able to hear the speaker.  Occasional 
 camera passes prove your ears correct.  There they are, all over the House
 or Senate, in little groups, talking and laughing and doing all sorts of 
 things, none of which will help them understand what the bill is about when
 it comes time to vote on it.  There is a person speaking on behalf of a 
 large group of people in this country, and nobody is paying attention.  
 Worse yet, they aren't even trying to keep their voices down.  Occasional
 requests by the Speaker that the "House be brought to order" have little or
 no effect.  The Speaker of the House bangs the gavel, orders everyone to 
 be silent, and within seconds, they're at it again.  Hey, people, I don't
 know about you, but in Kindergarten, we were sent to the corner for that
 kind of behavior.  What can we conclude from this observation?  That the
 average classroom full of 5 year olds are more mature and better behaved
 than most of the people leading our country, for one thing.
      To be fair, our leaders aren't the worst in the world at this kind of
 thing.  Anyone who watches British news knows this.  Don't ask me why I 
 have watched so much British news, but I have, and I'm here to tell you
 that they make our Senators and Reps seem downright civilized.  It's not
 unusual for members of Parliment to swear and scream at one another, and
 sometimes it comes to fisticuffs.  Now there's an interesting idea.  C-SPAN
 could enjoy a much larger audience if Teddy Kennedy and Bob Dole would just
 mix it up once in a while.  "The Vegas line says Dole will get that budget
 amendment pushed through, but remember, Kennedy always has that dangerous 
 overhand right!"  Then there's Canada.  Boy, their representatives fight
 en masse as if it was Stanley Cup time!  Which brings up another good idea.  
 Wanna see a quick end to the next attempt to filibuster a worthwhile bill?
 How about 2 minutes in the penalty box?  With no talking, of course.
      C-SPAN can give one a splitting headache, but it can educate in ways
 that newsprint cannot.  The fact is that not all Senators and Congresspersons 
 act this way.  Several are trying to do what they were put there to do, and 
 it's not hard to pick them out of the crowd.  It IS hard to hear them most 
 of the time, however, because somebody else is usually waffling out loud or 
 screaming for permission to rudely interrupt.  
      Here's what I propose.   Put a tape in when you leave for work in the 
 morning.  6-hour mode.  Record C-SPAN.  When you get home, kick back and 
 scan through all the votes (which take a long time and are boring from our 
 perspective because nothing is happening on-screen).  Watch the speeches.  
 Even if you aren't interested in what they're speaking on behalf of.  Most 
 importantly, watch the way the others behave.  Watch the committee meetings 
 and see how the chairperson handles things.  Is he or she obviously 
 partisan?  Is there some sabotage of testimony going on?  Watch C-SPAN, 
 because it will help you figure out if the person you elected to represent 
 you is doing so, or if they can even be trusted to operate on The Hill.  
 A New York cable television company recently began a new policy whereby 
 all customers who are delinquent in their payments will not have their 
 cable shut off.  Rather, the company pipes C-SPAN in on all 77 channels.  
 The new policy has, at last report, been a big success in getting people 
 to pay their bills, but there is going to be an interesting side effect.  
 New Yorkers will probably be the most informed voters in the nation come 
 election time.  Used properly, C-SPAN is the ultimate voters' pamphlet.

 ---------------------------------------------------------------------------

    [[[[[[[[    [[[[[[  [[   [[  [[[[[   [[[[[[  [[       [[    [[[[[[
    [[     [[   [       [[   [[    [     [       [[   [   [[   [[      
    [[[[[[[[    [[[[[[   [[ [[     [     [[[[[[   [[  [  [[     [[[[[
    [[   [[     [         [[[      [     [         [[[ [[[          [[
    [[    [[    [[[[[[     [     [[[[[   [[[[[[     [[ [[       [[[[[[
 
 
	By The Platterpuss, Steve Marshall and DJ Johnson
 
	     
	     * * * ALBUM OF THE MONTH * * * 


 GT STRINGER - SANDCRACK...The Soundtrack (Tremolo 10 Records - Email to 
   gby@ozemail.com.au or 448 Seaview Road, Henley Beach, Adelaide, South 
   Australia, 5022 Australia to order. $20 American will cover CD and 
   shipping/handling)
   
      GT Stringer is a 4 piece instro band from Henley Beach, Adelaide,
 South Australia.  The lineup looks like this: Jimmy Redgate (guitar), 
 Trevor Ramsay (sax), Dennis Kipridis (bass) and Steve Hearne (drums).
 I had never heard them before, so I had no preconceived notions save for
 one.  The cover is a photo of a car at the beach with four surfboards
 strapped to the roof.  Ah ha!  Surf!  Those of you who have read other
 reviews by me probably know by now that I am the opposite of The Platterpuss
 when it comes to instro-surf.  I love the stuff.  
      My first audio related impression of GT Stringer was "hey, this isn't
 surf..."  It was, but it wasn't.  They have more than one genre influencing
 their sound, and while that often creates an indigestable train wreck of
 noise, GT Stringer pulls it off.  They do more than just pull it off, to
 be honest.  They... Okay, I promised myself I would stay calm here, but
 I can't.  This is, without question, my favorite recording since the
 last Basement Brats record.  Now I know it's apples and oranges, but I'm 
 just saying that this is the first recording I have listened to more than 
 once in a sitting since the Brats' last one.  Clear?  This music is smokey,
 sultry, surfy and jazzy, and more than a little bluesy at the same time.
 In Part 1 of The Great Surf Summit interview (see the October 1995 issue of
 Cosmik Debris), the question was raised: What other directions can surf go
 in?  The Hillbilly Soul Surfers have shown what would have happened if Duck
 Dunn and Steve Cropper had been beach bums, and Pollo Del Mar injects a bit
 of fusion into the form.  There are so many different directions being 
 pursued that one begins to think "there can't be more, can there?"  Well,
 as long as the musicians are very talented, there can.
      These musicians are fantastic.  The first track (on the first listen,
 mind you) got my attention simply with tone.  The parts themselves were 
 very simple (though the bass had some nasty stuff goin' on).  As the tracks
 move along, the outstanding skills of these players become obvious. Ramsay's 
 jazz inflected sax playing provides plenty of counterpoint to the surfier 
 overall feeling of the tracks, but when you throw in Redgate's beautifully 
 understated blues slide riffs, the result is indescribably intoxicating.  
      Thirteen songs are listed on the CD sleeve, but there are 14 on the 
 actual disc.  I'd like to think I can tell the song by matching the title
 to the feel of the instrumental, but I'm not that good.  So I'll have to
 avoid titles and just say the last two tracks are the most amazing.  The
 next to the last song is powerful and dramatic, and is more akin to modern
 surf than most of the others.  Hypnotic yet hectic, and more than a little
 bit sensual.  By the time that storm finally passes, you NEED the last tune,
 which is slow and soft and dreamy and calming, like an after-sex cigarette.
 I don't smoke, but I can relate.  At the end of that final track...which I
 will take a chance and call "Desert Daze," there's 5 minutes and change of
 dead silence, then about 40 seconds of Jew's Harp and giggling.  It's been
 done before, but it's cool anyway, if you've never heard a Jew's Harp 
 played through heavy reverberation.  Just a quick note, FYI, there is no  
 movie called Sandcrack.  It's an imaginary movie in the minds of the players.
 It DOES have a movie poster, though, should someone decide to MAKE a movie  
 called Sandcrack, and hey, why the hell not?  On the back cover, there's
 a photo of a man in swiming trunks, seen from the rear.  The swim suit is
 hangin' low, and there's a pound of sand in his butt crack.  Yes, even 
 refrigerator repairmen take vacations.  This is GT Stringer's first release,
 and if they can find a large enough audience that appreciates the mix of 
 styles and influences, we all might be lucky enough to hear their second.
 (DJ Johnson)  


 DAVIE ALLAN & THE ARROWS - Loud Loose & Savage  (Iloki)
   
      For those of you who may not know, Davie Allan is the man behind the
 soundtracks for most of those cheesy A.I.P. Int'l biker flicks from the
 mid to late 60's. Judging from this disc, which was recorded at various
 points over the last 10 years, it would seem that he hasn't changed his
 approach very much since then. Though I'm not a big fan of many of the
 newer all-instrumental bands that have sprung up over the last couple of
 years, Allan is enough of a master to keep my interest level up throughout
 most of this 17-song set, despite the fact that some of his backing
 musicians sound as if they'd be more comfortable playing in a heavy metal
 band. If you're a fan of his or if you just want to hear some really
 incredible guitar playing, this is well worth checking out.
 (PO Box 49593,  L.A. CA 90049) - (The Platterpuss)

 
 BRACKET - 4-Wheel Vibe  (Caroline)
      
      Some of you may remember me raving madly about their debut disc a 
 while back, and now I'm happy to report that their second full-length
 collection more than lives up to the promise of the first one.  Similar in
 sound and style to Green Day (although their first 45 was released long
 before the mega-success of GD) what makes them stand out from the pack
 is the fact that they do it better than just about anybody else.  When I
 first played the advance cassette about 6 months ago I was kinda
 disappointed because it seemed that somehow the songs just didn't really
 gel the way they should.  But the more I listened, the more songs like
 "Circus Act", "Tractor", "Green Apples" and "Trailer Park" grew on me.
 Every time I play this I discover some little something new - be it a
 clever phrase, an interesting chord change or whatever.  I can't recommend
 this highly enough.  A true 10 out of 10.
 (114 W. 26 St.,  New York NY 10001) - (The Platterpuss)


 BUTTHOLE SURFERS - The Hole Truth...And Nothing Butt The Truth - (Trance) 

      This one's a lot of fun!  If you're a Butthole completist (Put the 
 gun down, Mack, I ain't calling you names!) this is the "cool" release
 to fill the collection, much like "Black Market Clash" was for Clash fans.
 This was originally a bootleg, but the Butthole Surfers liked it quite a
 bit and gave permission for it to be released legitimately.  At least that's
 what it says here on the little sticker on the jewel box.  
      The first two tracks are from their 1983 demos.  Raw as hell and just
 as powerful, they are excellent examples of un-produced BHS kick.  The
 rest of the CD, except for the final track, is a collection of performances
 from clubs between 1985 and 1993.  Some of their finest psychedelic moments
 are captured here, as well as some of their rawest and most brutal punk.
 Highlights include "Moving To Florida," The Beatles classic "Come Together,"
 Donovan's "Hurdy Gurdy Man," and "The Shah Sleeps In Lee Harvey's Grave."
 The final track is a five and a half minute interview from WNYU radio, 
 circa 1987.  They giggle a lot and offer suggestions for proper anal sex to
 people like Ollie North.  Not exactly high brow stuff, but fun, in a Jr.
 High School kids snickering under your breath so the teacher don't catch ya 
 kind of way.
      My favorite track is the 10 minute long "Psychedelic," but I must admit
 I've only recently gotten into this band, and I haven't heard it all yet, or
 even figured out what the definitive Butthole Surfers sound is.  In other
 words, it's possible that my favorite track is the worst example of BHS
 music.  Tough.  I just know what I like.  If "raw" is listed in your 
 requirements for better punk listening, this one has your name on it.
 (DJ Johnson)

 
 CHIXDIGGIT - Best Hung Carrot In The Fridge EP  (Lance Rock)
      
      With a record title and band name like these I was expecting some
 really dumb and annoying macho crap but I couldn't have been more wrong
 if I tried. What I got instead were 3 really nice slabs of Vacant Lot/
 Bum type pop-on-hyperdrive with a rather interesting lyrical twist. In
 fact, I'll go out on a limb here and say that "...Carrot" is a very likely
 candidate for my Top 10 of the year. - The Platterpuss


 JACKIE & THE CEDRICS - Scalping Party EP  (Norton)
    
     I've been fortunate enough to see this Japanese surf trio play live
 on a number of occasions and, while instro surf music is mot my favorite,
 these guys always play like there's no tomorrow, keeping the excitement
 level way up. On their latest 3-songer they turn in a pair of super charged
 guitar workouts plus a version of the old Don & Dewey classic "Justine"
 that'll knock your socks off. Buy this or it's your loss. - The Platterpuss


 THE JENNIFERS - Nine Days Wonder  (You Say When)
     
     It took me a few spins to really appreciate these 13 slabs of homegrown
 pop rock but now that I do, what I once perceived as weaknesses are now
 among their strengths.  At first I found the production somewhat flat and
 the singers voice kinda hoarse and a bit off key and while they both may
 take a bit of getting used to, at this point I think that they just add to 
 the charm.  In the end, what's important are the songs and it's songs like 
 "I Hear Angels, "You're My Star", "People Looking Up" and "Ritomello" that
 keeps me coming back.  So, while this might not be for everyone, if you
 like good pop that's not afraid to deviate from what's expected, you might
 wanna give this a shot.
 (PO Box 4751,  Baltimore MD 21094) - The Platterpuss
 

 BRUCE JOYNER & THE UNKNOWNS - S/T  (Marilyn)
   
      I'd already written these guys off as second rate Cramps/Pamther Burns
 imitators when some whim made me slip this into the CD player for one last
 spin. Well, I'm glad I did 'cause while they may have taken much of their
 inspiration from Lux and friends, there's enough fresh and vital, crazed and
 demented Rock & Roll happenin' on this 24-song retrospective to satisfy
 just about anyone. Joyner has a really interesting voice and on songs like
 "She Never Says No" and the calypso-esque "Rat Race" he sounds almost like
 a more schized out Roy Orbison. Most of the songs on here are flat out
 rockers like "Rip Tide", "Pull My Train" and "Suzzanne" (which sounds like
 it could be some long lost Buddy Holly track) but they do change the pace
 every so often as on the moody and atmospheric "Common Man" and the poppy
 "Modern Man" where he even does a little falsetto singing. I also can't
 let this review go by without mentioning "Actions/Reactions" which has
 a distintly mod/garage feel to it. All things considered, this is one
 entertaining and varied slab o' energetic frenzifyin' R&R and it amazes
 me that I could have passed it by the first time around.
 (dist. by Bomp, PO Box 7112,  Burbank CA 91510) The Platterpuss 


 LORD HIGH FIXERS - 7" single (Estrus Records)

      I admit to being way behind the times, but I'm catching up, forming my
 opinions and allegiances and getting ahold of a lot of great records in the
 process.  So this is my first Lord High Fixers record.  I almost saw the
 band at Garage Shock, just like I almost saw all the other bands at Garage
 Shock...but didn't.   Long, sad story.  Had I seen them, I would have run
 to the record shop first chance I got, because they remind me of one of the
 greatest garage bands of all time, Gravedigger V.  The vocals on "Take Me
 Home" are so intensely screamed I kept waiting for the guy's vocal chords
 to give up the ghost.  Didn't happen.  For those of you familiar with 
 Gravedigger V, think of the vocals on "All Black And Hairy" and you're 
 close.  The song itself is great garage.  Very authentic.  The flip, 
 "Things She Says," is a bludgeoning little number originally done by
 The In Crowd.  Every instrument is in your face like a Tyson right.  Even
 at low volume, you're risking eviction.  There's hot, and then there is 
 HOT.  That'll have to do until I think of a more descriptive word for Lord
 High Fixers.  And believe me, I'm working on it.  (DJ Johnson)

 
 MCA INTRODUCES NEW "HEAVY VINYL" SERIES
 
      On October 24th, MCA debuted its latest effort in the audiophile 
 realm -- the new "Heavy Vinyl" series.  Each title is remastered from the 
 original master tapes, without any noise reduction or bass roll-off. 
 Pressed on 180 grams of pure virgin vinyl, all of the titles in the series 
 are limited editions.  The packaging on each title in the series is very 
 nicely done.  The original artwork and liner notes are intact on all 5 
 titles, and in some cases, expanded upon.  The pressings on all five albums 
 were excellent -- virtually no surface noise at all, and free of any 
 distortion.
      The  first title of the series to be reviewed is John Barry's Academy 
 Award winning score to the motion picture "Out of Africa".  The orchestra 
 sounds very warm and resonant throughout the album.  However, unless you're 
 a big fan of the movie itself, you'll be fighting to stay awake by the time 
 you get to the end of the album.  "Out of Africa" is impressively recorded, 
 but there isn't enough happening at any given time to engage the listener.
      Next up is the self-titled second album from rock and roll legend, 
 Buddy Holly.  The sparse arrangements of the material on this album make it 
 a prime candidate for an audiophile pressing.  The instruments are all 
 easily distinguishable from each other and very clear.  Songs like the 
 classic "Peggy Sue" and the Fats Domino penned tune "Valley of Tears" never 
 sounded better.  The new Heavy Vinyl version of "Buddy Holly" contains 
 additional liner notes as well.  
      Moving on to the third title in the series, we come to the classic 
 Buddy Guy album,  "I Was Walking Through the Woods".  Originally released 
 on the Chess label in 1970, "Woods" contains songs recorded live in the 
 studio as they happened and also a collection of singles and (at the time)
 unreleased cuts.  The channel separation on the classic "First Time I Met 
 the Blues" is stunning.  Probably the best test of the quality of a Buddy 
 Guy recording is in the guitar sound and the vocal transients. The Heavy 
 Vinyl pressing passed with flying colors. Like "Buddy Holly", this album 
 also contains additional liner notes.
      Dave Mason's solo debut, "Alone Together" is the next title in the 
 series.  Containing the classic hit single "Only You Know and I Know", and 
 FM radio staples such as "Look at You, Look at Me" and "World in Changes", 
 the album remains Mason's greatest accomplishment.  The dynamic range on the
 1970 recording is outstanding.  The sound quality on the album is markedly 
 improved over the original release.  All of the instruments and vocals are 
 clear and very distinct.
      Probably the most eagerly awaited title in the new Heavy Vinyl series 
 is The Who's 1971 release, "Who's Next".  Who fans take note -- this is now 
 the definitive version of the album.  The sound quality has never been 
 better.  Even the superb Japanese pressing can't hold a candle to the Heavy
 Vinyl version.  The individual instruments and vocals can all be heard 
 clearly, even from a different room!  Released in a gatefold cover (as are 
 all of the albums in the series so far), there are two new photos on the 
 inside.
      The albums in MCA's new Heavy Vinyl series are manufactured using the 
 latest innovations in mastering technology, and are designed to take 
 advantage of high-end audiophile turntables and cartridges.  As a result, 
 these albums are competitive with their compact disc counterparts in terms 
 of sound quality.  All five titles have extremely high resolution, 
 spaciousness and clarity that is unmatched in any format. (Steve Marshall)
 

 HARRY PERRY - Greatest Hits Of The Millennium - Surfdog Records, 520,
      Washington Blvd, Suite 427, Venice Beach, CA 90290 (310-821-SURF)

      Harry Perry is a well known local "character" at Venice Beach in 
 California.  He's a rollerbladin' street musician, and a damned fine one
 at that.  He's been seen in a few movies too, including "The Gift," which
 was made by Perry Farrell of Jane's Addiction.  This is the album that Harry
 waited a decade to make.  My first impression wasn't that it was awful, but
 I wasn't really moved, either.  On the second listen, I wondered how I could
 have missed the song "How Soon Is Now" on the first listen.  There is a
 discordant guitar part that approximates the doppler effect, giving the 
 song a cool feeling of motion that's hard to miss.  But I did, at least 
 the first time through.  On the third listen, I noticed that "Nam Myoho
 Renge Kyo" is a Bhuddist chant put to some fairly frantic rock and roll.
      The point is that Harry Perry's album is the kind that grows on me. 
 "How Soon Is Now" is still my favorite track, but several of the others 
 are gaining.  The best thing about Greatest Hits Of The Millennium is that
 it defies categorization.  Trying to nail Harry down to a particular style
 is a waste of time.  Instead, just clear your mind and enjoy the many kinds
 of grooves he and the band generate.  If you must have some clue, then 
 try to imagine punk, blues, rock, funk and soul all boiled in the same pot.
 There are still places where this album does nothing for me, but the way
 it's been going, I'll probably have to write a whole new review by the 10th
 listen.  - DJ Johnson


 OSWALD FIVE-O - 5-song EP  (Grinning Idiot)
      
      This melodic punk trio has truly got it all. They write these incredibly
 catchy songs with genuinely intelligent and sensitive lyrics and they've
 got more than enough musical chops to really put the whole package over
 in a big way. I can only think that the fact that they still record for
 a relatively small indie label and haven't signed some kind of big money
 record deal is their own choice. To that I can only say good for them.
 (PO Box 10634,  Eugene OR 97440) - The Platterpuss


 PEZBAND - File Under: Pop Vocal EP  (Notlame)
    
      Recorded in 1974, these are the first known recordings made by this
 seminal Chicago power pop outfit and, while these songs may be more than
 20 years old and definitely pre-punk, they still sound fresh and vital
 today. If you're a fan of bands like The Shoes or Material Issue, you
 definitely ought to check out one of the places where it all started, not
 just for a history lesson but also for some damn fine pop music.
 (PO Box 9828,  Aspen CO 81612) - The Platterpuss


 PLUTO - Cool Way To Feel  (Mint)
   
     Does anyone out there in Rock-n-Roll land remember a band from the
 mid-70's called Artful Dodger? 'Cause that's who Pluto sorta remind me
 of.  These 13 catchy, hook-laden slabs of teenage angst and hormones all
 have that same kind of pre-punk hard rock/pop sensibility that's half
 "Who's Next" and half "Meet The Beatles".  While they may be as un-trendy
 as can be, you can bet that songs like "Thirsty", "Expelled", "#17",
 the title track and the ultra-lovely "Locked & Loaded" will be remembered
 by the lucky few who manage to score one of these babies long after the
 latest Spin magazine and MTV media darlings are not even faded where-are-
 they-now's.  If you're looking for some timeless Rock & Roll that's well 
 writen, well sung and well played to sink your teeth into, you've come to 
 the right place. - The Platterpuss


 PUSSY CRUSH - Tormenting The Emotionally Frail  (La-Di-Da America)
    
    This reminds me of the first Blondie album, before they became
 new wave hitmakers, when Debbie Harry and the band were spitting out
 venomous punk classics like "Rip Her To Shreds".  Lead singer Kags sounds
 remarkably like DH and on songs like "I Wanna Kill You", "Beat Your Heart 
 Out" and "Witch Bitch" she and the band display the same combination of 
 spiteful anger and poppy hooks that made Harry & Co's first record such 
 a classic.  Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned, and while I'm sure
 I don't want to get in her way, I'll certainly enjoy listening to these
 16 slices of melodic bile in the comfort and safety of my living room.
 (PO Box 202,  Peter Stuyvesant Sta,  NYC NY 10009-9998) - The Platterpuss


 THE ROOKS/TWENTY CENT CRUSH - A Double Dose of Pop  (Not Lame)
   
     This is actually more like 2 mini-discs as The Rooks have the first 9
 songs and Twenty Cent Crush have the last 8. As far as I can tell, there
 is no other connection between the 2 bands.  Actually, while I'm not sure
 if it was done intentionally, putting both of these bands together on one
 disc was a rather good idea as their styles nicely balance each other out.
 For the most part The Rooks play introspective, kinda melancholy type pop
 that reminds me a lot of bands like Badfinger while Twenty Cent Crush
 are more lighthearted and upbeat.  I can't really say who I like better
 because I really like them both, if for different reasons.  What I can say
 is that they both feature some really incredible songwriting and the vocal
 and instrumental chops to put those songs over.  If you're a lover of pure
 pop music, I can't recommend this highly enough.
 (PO Box 9828,  Aspen CO 81612) The Platterpuss


 SCRATCH BONGOWAX - S/T  (1+2/Barn Homes)
      
      Fans of NY Dolls/Heartbreakers type trashy punk & roll oughta go for
 this in a big big way.  Here are 23 slabs of loud, fast and stupid that
 definitely put the fun fun fun back in Rock & Roll.  Check out some of
 some of these songs with titles like "Surfin' Turd", "Aargh", "Girls That
 Put Out" and "My Brain Is Fried" and it doesn't take a lot of grey matter
 to see that these guys certainly don't take themselves too seriously.  If
 you're looking for a whole lotta party-time rockin' & rollin' without a
 hint of sicial relevance, you've come to the right place.  Order thru Get
 Hip - The Platterpuss


 SICKO - Laugh While You Can Monkey Boy  (Empty)
    
      "Laugh" is their second full-lentgth release and fans of their melodic
 yet sarcastic and super snotty style of punk rock will certainly not be
 disappointed.  If you haven't heard these guys yet but dig bands like The
 Queers and Screeching Weasel I know you're just gonna love this.  There
 are 12 songs on here (though a few of 'em barely top the 1-minute mark)
 and I just love each and every one.  Kurt Bloch is the producer, so you
 know that every song is guaranteed to absolutely jump out of your speakers
 and get you pogoing just like you did back in '77 (or was that '87?).
 Either way you just gotta get it. - The Platterpuss


 THE STATICS - Pinball Junkies 10" EP (Estrus Records - PO BOX 2125
	       Bellingham, WA, 98227)

      Lo-fi garage that sounds just as if it were badly recorded in the 60's.
 I've been told that this record doesn't do them justice and that the real
 charm of The Statics is the energy of their live shows.  Okay, I'll buy 
 that.  And I even think I might be picking up on some of that energy by
 the third song, "The Roxbury Lanes," because I just caught my foot thumping
 the ground.  So I turn it over and it gets better.  "The Radio Song" is so
 sloppy it starts to be fun, and the lyric, "I hate that song on the radio!
 I hate that band, it's got to go!," makes me think about what the rebellion
 is all about in the first place.  Side two makes me want to hear side one
 again to see if I just "didn't get it" the first time through.  Hey!  I 
 was right!  Pinball Junkies is sloppy, careless and cool.  Now I have to
 see them live to find out what they actually sound like when not recorded
 in a tin storage shed on a Realistic portable cassette deck.  (DJ Johnson)

 
 TEARS FOR FEARS -- Raoul and the Kings of Spain (Epic)

      Originally slated for release in July, Tears For Fears leader Roland 
 Orzabal took advantage of an option in his contract with Mercury and moved 
 the new CD, "Raoul and the Kings of Spain" to Epic/Sony Music.  The label 
 change prompted the addition of two new songs -- "Humdrum and Humble" and 
 "I Choose You".  Co-written & co-produced by Orzabal, the new CD is their 
 best since 1989's "The Seeds of Love".
      The new CD is the second release since the well-publicized split with 
 original member Curt Smith.  Several of the tracks were written and 
 performed live on the band's last tour.  Orzabal said "Raoul" was "a very 
 easy album to make" and that they were able to lay down tracks "after just 
 three or four takes".
      "Raoul" offers plenty to keep the listener's interest. "Sketches of 
 Pain' (the title being a twist on Miles Davis' "Sketches of Spain"), with 
 its flourishes of flamenco guitar, is one of the many highlights on the CD. 
 From "Falling Down" (which sounds remarkably like "What Goes Up" from The 
 Alan Parsons Project's "Pyramid" album), to the raucous "Don't Drink the 
 Water", this is a CD that gets better with each listen.
      Another high point on the CD is the return of Oleta Adams, who 
 contributes vocals on "Me and My Big Ideas".  Originally discovered by 
 Orzabal in a Kansas City nightclub during the recording of "The Seeds of 
 Love", Adams' soulful vocals were sorely missing from the band's last 
 album, "Elemental".  Hopefully, she'll be able to tour with the band in 
 support of the new CD.  She adds an incredible warmth to the band's music.
      "Raoul and the Kings of Spain" is a fine effort, one of the best from 
 the band.  If this CD is any indication of things to come, we can look 
 forward to a long and fruitful musical career from Orzabal and Tears For 
 Fears.  (Steve Marshall)


 TRAILER PARK CASANOVAS - Ace Of Spades/Rounder  (Behemoth)
    
      The A-side of this little snacky doodle is a country rock version
 of the old Motorhead nugget that works much better than you might think
 and is definitely more than the one-play novelty that I was expecting.
 The flip is an instrumental in a similar style that, while not quite as
 interesting, shows that these guys can really play. I hope that this is
 not just a one-shot and that they're in it for the long haul 'cause
 judging by what I've heard so far, I'm really looking forward to hearing
 more.
 (PO Box 27801,  Las Vegas NV 89126-1801) -  The Platterpuss


 THE USHER BOYS - Snap Crackle Bop!  (Kraklund)
      
      Those of you who've been reading this zine for the last few years
 are already aware of the fantastic underground punk rock scene going on
 over in Finland where The Ramones are worshipped as deities.  The Usher
 Boys have been part of that scene for awhile and finally, after a handful 
 of stellar singles, have made their digital debut with this mini disc. 
 While all 8 songs are absolute punk rock heaven - perfect combinations
 of sweet, tasty hooks and head boppin' fast and faster tempos, a few cuts
 such as "Permanent Hard-On", "One 'n' Only" and, especially, the title
 track really stand out as being A-1 stone classics.  If these guys were
 from the U.S., fans of bands like The Queers and Screeching Weasel would
 be falling all over themselves to get a copy of this.
(PL 459,  65101 Vaasa,  FINLAND) The Platterpuss


 THE USHER BOYS - Dead Girls (Don't Say No)/Forget All About You  (Diesel)
      
      All of the nice things I said about their CD (also reviewed this issue)
 go just as much for these 2 sides of 4-on-the-floor melodic punk. Fans
 of bands like The Queers, The Vacant Lot or Screeching Weasel should do
 whatever they must to score themselves a copy of this supremely fine
 hunk o'plastic.
 (Hameentie 4 A 2,  00530 Helsinki,  FINLAND) -  The Platterpuss


 VARIOUS ARTISTS -- In From the Storm (RCA Victor) (A Jimi Hendrix tribute CD)

      In commemoration of the 25th anniversary of the legendary guitarist's 
 death, Jimi Hendrix is the latest artist to be honored in a long line of 
 tribute CDs.  Boasting a wide variety of musicians, backed on most cuts by 
 the London Metropolitan Orchestra, "In From the Storm" is better than the 
 majority of the tribute CDs.  Produced and engineered by original Hendrix 
 studio veteran, Eddie Kramer, the recording sounds warm & vibrant.
      Members of Hendrix's bands, The Jimi Hendrix Experience and Band of 
 Gypsies, along with almost two dozen other artists from across the musical 
 spectrum make up the list of musicians on the CD.  Most of the songs work 
 quite well, and as would be expected on a collection like this, some do not.
      Highlights on "In From the Storm" include Carlos Santana & Sass Jordan's 
 take on "Spanish Castle Magic", and "Rainy Day, Dream Away" with vocals by 
 Taj Mahal & blistering lead guitar work by Robben Ford.  The dynamic range 
 and clarity of the recording is breathtaking, especially on the latter song.  
 Jazz great John McLaughlin contributes some incredible lead flourishes to 
 Sting's rendition of "The Wind Cries Mary".  The CD also features an 
 interesting new arrangement of "Bold as Love" with Paul Rodgers and Steve 
 Vai.
      The low points on the CD are few and far between.  Toots Thielemans' 
 version of "Little Wing" transforms the song into something almost 
 unrecognizable.  The dance/funk version of "Purple Haze" also leaves a lot 
 to be desired.  Aside from those two songs, the others are all covered 
 respectably.
      The packaging on "In From the Storm" is quite nice.  There are plenty 
 of photos from the recording sessions, plus full musician credits on each 
 track.  Judging by prior orchestral tribute CDs, I looked at this one with 
 some apprehension.  The results this time, however, are much better than 
 the rest.  Definitely worth picking up.  (Steve Marshall)


 VARIOUS ARTISTS - Oh Canaduh!  (Lance Rock)
      
      Here is a collection of covers of songs by old Canadian punk bands
 such as The Viletones, The Subhumans, Teenage Head, Pointed Sticks, The
 Modernettes, D.O.A. and others by a bunch of the top punk bands of today,
 Canadian and otherwise such as Teengenerate, Bum, The Young Fresh Fellows,
 The Fastbacks, The Smugglers, Supersnazz etc. etc. I'm not really familiar
 with the original versions of these songs so I can only judge this as
 I would any other new album but for the most part, it rates a big thumbs
 up. "Top Down" by Teengenerate is one of the best things that they've ever
 done, partly because for once it doesn't sound like they recorded in a
 bathroom using a Walkman but also 'cause they picked a great tune. Ditto
 The Smugglers for their great take on Pointed Sticks' (when is someone
 gonna do a much needed retrospective of this totally amazing power pop
 band from the late 70s?) "What Do You Want Me To Do" and The Fastbacks'
 version of "Won't Have To Worry". The Young Fresh Fellows kick in with a
 song called "Disco Sucks" by DOA and while I can appreciate the sentiment,
 especially considering when this song was originally written and recorded,
 hearing it done today makes it sound like little more than kitchy camp.
 In a similar vein, but somehow more successful, is "I Hate Music" by The
 Tonics - a band I've never heard before but hope to hear lots more from
 in the future. If you're into punk or are a fan of any of the above
 bands, past or present, you won't be disappointed with this.
 (1223 College Dr.,  Nanaimo BC,  V9R-5Z5,  CANADA) - The Platterpuss

 
 VARIOUS ARTISTS - Yellow Pills Vol. 3  (Big Deal)
     
      The release of the third volume of this definitive pop compilation
 series comes as welcome news to anyone who's heard either of the first
 two. Indeed, as much as I loved numbers one and two, this might actually
 be the strongest and most consistent collection yet. Like the others,
 it features contributions from some old favorites such as Material Issue,
 Gigolo Aunts, Paul Collins' Beat, The Scruffs and The Blow Pops as well
 as from relative unknowns and newcomers to the scene. Personal favorites ,
 include "Do What You're Doing" by The Michael Guthrie Band, a bouncy
 slice of pop magic with double tracked vocals that sounds as if it could
 have been an outake from "Beatles 65", The Finns' "Sky Vue" an exhuberant
 paean to hangin' out and havin' fun with your friends that'll definitely
 appeal to the eternal teenager in all of us, The Paul Collins' Beat' s
 "I've Always Got You On My Mind", also pretty upbeat but with an
 undercurrent of melancholy like so much classic pop music thougout the
 ages, "Skidmarks" by Wonderboy which makes me think of The Raspberries
 at their most rockin' best and "Time Will Tell On You" by The Rock Club
 with those classically vulnerable vocals and shimmering, chiming guitars.
 In addition, tracks by The Greenberry Woods, Scott McCarl, Her Majesty's
 Buzz, The Scruffs, Martin Luther Lennon and Material Issue make this an
 essential addition to any pop music lover's collection.
 (PO Box 2072,  Peter Stuyvesant Station,  NYC NY 10009) - The Platterpuss


 VOODOO GLOW SKULLS BAND - 7" single (Dr. Strange Records - PO BOX 7000-117
			   Alta Loma, CA, 91701)

      Okay, ska isn't usually my thing, even though I KINDA like The Mighty
 Mighty Bosstones.  I'm crazy about reggae, but ska usually bugs me for some
 reason.  Side one of this record, "Land Of Misfit Toys," is damned good ska.
 Frank Voodoo and his cohorts approach it with tongue in cheek, and I can
 appreciate that.  Side two, a cover of the Coasters' classic, "Charlie
 Brown," is the best part of this record, though.  The humor comes through
 again (not like you COULD do a straight version of Charlie Brown).  The
 verses are delivered in a fast punk style, and they throw in a very strange
 half-speed ska break which, once you've caught your balance, seems just 
 right.  The band is tight, and hey, they have a freakin' HORN SECTION!
 Been a long while since I heard a horn section kicking it out in a speed
 punk song.  Oh, I gotta mention this.  Inside the sleeve, you'll find an
 insert with the lyrics to "Land Of Misfit Toys."  Under that, the title 
 "Charlie Brown" is followed by "Ask your fucking parents what the words 
 are!"  You only need to know the line that everyone remembers..."Why is 
 everybody always pickin' on me?"  Cool song to cover.  (DJ Johnson)

 
 THE WHO -- Who's Next  (MCA Ultimate MasterDisc)
 
      Considered by many to be the band's finest work, "Who's Next" has been 
 given the 24-karat gold treatment by MCA.  Remastered from the original 
 two-track analog masters, the CD sounds considerably better than the 
 original pressing.  There is no hiss at all, and the output level on the 
 disc is much higher.  The packaging, however, is nothing spectacular.  No 
 new pictures, lyrics or any other additional information.  Instead, we get 
 a list of the other gold discs available on MCA.
      Comparing it to the German Polydor CD brings out a few interesting 
 observations.  While the Polydor version has noticeable tape hiss, the sound 
 is much crisper than the gold MCA version.  The instruments and vocals are 
 clearer and more distinct as well. Unless you're a Who collector that has 
 to have every CD ever released by the band, wait for the new expanded 
 version.  (Steve Marshall)


 FRANK ZAPPA - Various re-releases (Rykodisc)

      This spring, Rykodisc reissued the entire Zappa catalog (sans 200 
 Motels) -- now available with the "FZ approved masters". Most of the 
 reissues have been quite impressive.  However, others have not fared as 
 well.  Starting with the classic "Apostrophe(')" album, this review will 
 briefly describe seven of the new CDs.

 APOSTROPHE(') --
   
      The sound on this CD is incredible. The instruments and vocals are all 
 very well defined.  For the first time, the "Wooooh" at the beginning of 
 "Uncle Remus" is clear and not distorted at all.  Also for the first time, 
 the lyrics are included (previously only available with the vinyl version
 in "The Old Masters Box Three").  The only bad thing about the new 
 "Apostrophe(')" is that the CD is too short.  Previously a 2-for-1 title 
 with "Overnight Sensation", Ryko has decided now to make us buy both titles 
 individually.  Still, it's a great CD and the sound is better than ever.

 STUDIO TAN / SLEEP DIRT --
   
      These two albums were originally intended to be part of the Lather box 
 set. Caught in the legal battle that Zappa had with Warner Brothers, they 
 ended up being released individually to fulfill his contractual obligation. 
 Both Ryko CDs sound better than the original Discreet albums, and feature 
 new artwork by Gary Panter under the CD trays.  The "Sleep Dirt" CD has new 
 drum overdubs by Chad Wackerman on three songs.  Unfortunately, it also has 
 noticeable tape hiss as well.

 SHEIK YERBOUTI --
      
      Considered by many to be Zappa's finest album, the sound quality on 
 the Ryko CD is much warmer than the shallow-sounding UK EMI version. The 
 bass is deeper and much more resonant.  The bad thing is that Ryko cut 1:16 
 from the end of "I'm So Cute".  True -- the ending of the song gets annoying. 
 However, there was plenty of room to include "Sheik Yerbouti" in its 
 entirety.  While the new Ryko CD sounds very good, neither it nor the EMI 
 version sound as good as the original Zappa Records vinyl release.

 TINSELTOWN REBELLION --
      
      Originally released on Zappa's Barking Pumpkin label, "Tinseltown 
 Rebellion" was the result of segments of various live shows recorded on the 
 Crush All Boxes tour in 1980.  Once again, Ryko has edited the endings on 
 two songs.  In this case though, it was just the applause at the end of the
 side of the albums.  The sound on the CD is excellent, as is the dynamic 
 range.  The CD includes some great renditions of several older FZ songs, 
 such as "Brown Shoes Don't Make It", "Peaches En Regalia" (titled "Peaches 
 III" on this CD), "Tell Me You Love Me" and several others.

 FRANK ZAPPA MEETS THE MOTHERS OF PREVENTION --
   
      Largely an instrumental album, this CD was Zappa's first recorded 
 effort featuring the synclavier. "FZ Meets the MOP" includes Zappa's homage 
 to some of the musicians who have died over the years, "We're Turning 
 Again".  It also features the original instrumental version of "What's New 
 in Baltimore", and "I Don't Even Care" from the import album (one of three 
 bonus tracks previously unavailable on the US vinyl). The vocals on "I Don't 
 Even Care" are very clear and distinct.

 DOES HUMOR BELONG IN MUSIC? --
      Previously only available in Europe, "Humor" consists of live 
 performances from the 1984 tour.  Featuring all new artwork, the CD includes 
 some great new songs, like "Hot Plate Heaven at the Green Hotel" and "Let's 
 Move to Cleveland" (originally known as "Kreegah Bondolo").  Rather than 
 edit performances on this CD, Ryko gives us an additional minute of Chad 
 Wackerman's drum solo on "Cleveland".  The CD has been remixed for the new 
 Ryko release, and the sound is markedly better.  The instruments and voices 
 are all much more defined, and the low-end (which was virtually non-existent 
 before) has been restored.  Also on this CD is a blistering version of 
 "Whippin' Post", with a special on-stage appearance by Dweezil -- the only 
 concert in which he performed publicly with his father.

      These are just a few of the over fifty Zappa CDs reissued by Rykodisc 
 this year. Some of them don't quite live up to expectations, but the 
 majority of them are greatly improved over the originals. (Steve Marshall)

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

 THE OLD MAN RADIO HOUR INTERVIEWS - Summer Lovin' with The Vandals
 by The Old Man

      I'm sitting here, in the shadows of the busy Buffalo International 
 Airport, on a sand volleyball court in beautiful Cheektowaga, NY.  With 
 me are two members of The Vandals.  Warren Fitzgerald, guitarist, backup 
 vocals, and even sometimes lead vocalist, and Joe Escalante, bass player. 
 As we sit here, enjoying the waning days of summertime sun, we have a 
 casual conversation that leads us through the absurd, the not so absurd, 
 and back again.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------

 T.O.M.: Where are you guys from?

 Warren: I live in Huntington Beach, California.

 Joe: I live in Hollywood, but I'm from Orange County.  
 
 Warren: Where they make movies.

 T.O.M.: Being from Huntington Beach, there's a lot going down there. That's 
 Guttermouth territory, the Voodoo Glow Skulls are down that way.

 Warren: The Voodoo Glow Skulls are from Riverside. That's an hour and 
 one-half from there inland.

 Joe: They're from the Inland Empire. That's the place that actually has a 
 lot happening.

 Warren: It's its own scene. It's only about an hour or so away from Orange 
 County. Huntington Beach is cool, it's where it's happening. 

 T.O.M.: You guys have been together for about 4 CD's?

 Joe: It's the sixth, but one of those is a live album and one is an EP.

 T.O.M.: You have two new members or reasonably new members.  How long have 
 they been in? I remember a guy Jensen and...

 Joe: He hasn't been in the band for eleven years.

 T.O.M.: Jesus, that long! When you get as old as me, a couple of years here 
 and a couple of years there don't make a lot of difference.

 Joe: He was only in the band about two years and he was the fourth singer.

 T.O.M.: Did you break up for awhile and get back together?

 Joe: Never have broken up. If we broke up, there would be no reason to get 
 back together. There's no reason for us to be together, so it's not possible 
 that we would've broken up.

 T.O.M.: It looks like maybe a little bit of age difference between you two 
 guys, what's the span on it?

 Warren: I'm 26.

 Joe: I'm 32.

 T.O.M.: That's not too bad.

 Joe: Brooks is 18 and he's in the band.

 Warren: He's the newest kid.

 T.O.M.: So there's 5 people in the band now?

 Joe: 4.

 T.O.M.: So who's gone?

 Warren: Brooks is playing drums now.

 Joe: Josh is on hiatus.

 T.O.M.: So Josh took a break from it. hmmmm. Brooks was on the insert to 
 the new record, right?

 Warren and Joe: Yes.

 T.O.M.: I go and listen to you guys, and believe me, I listen to you a lot. 
 I spend a lot of time listening to Sweatin to the Oldies, because it's such 
 a hysterical record. The first time I listened to that record, I was driving 
 down the road, laughing my ass off. I actually had to pull off to the side 
 of the road.

 Warren: That's the whole idea. We're hoping that people get in car crashes 
 listening to it.

 T.O.M.: One thing I sort of noticed in that record, but I'm a little bit 
 deaf from too many concerts, is that it sounded like maybe the attitude of 
 the crowd changed a little bit during that show?

 Warren: I Don't know. Should we tell him our secret?

 Joe: Yeah.

 Warren: OK, here's what we did, cause I produced that record.  At the show, 
 they had two audience mics, left and right. There's about a thousand people 
 at the show, but they weren't picking anyone up. You could only hear the 
 people right in front of the microphones and then you'd hear one person 
 going "Fuck you, fuck you," and that was it. So when I was in the studio 
 mixing, I looked through a cd sound effects collection, found some good 
 boos, and put them on there. They added a nice ambiance to the whole show. 
 People usually put applause or courteous applause for their live albums, 
 but we decided to spice it up with a little bit of bad attitude.

 Joe: It was from a professional wrestling match. 

 Warren: Yeah, professional wrestling sound effects. We looped it and brought 
 it in and out throughout the album.

 T.O.M.: (laughing) That's awesome. I'm sitting there listening and it's New 
 Year's eve in Orange County and I've never spent any time there, but I 
 always think of it as Richard Nixon territory.

 Warren: Oh yes, it is. It definately added a scary element to it.  The thing 
 that you can't really capture if you've only got two people coming through 
 on the microphones.

 T.O.M.: Do you guys still carry Tootsie Rolls around in your pockets?

 Joe: Warren does. 
 
 Warren: We're still on the rampage, molesting girls every chance we get. 
 Only in a concentual way, cause they're a lot of perverts out there that 
 will step up to bat.

 T.O.M.: So you have had some success out of this?

 Warren: Oh, absolutely. It's all in good fun, just spreading love.

 Joe: Kind of a love thing, Yeah.

 T.O.M.: You don't wear baggy pants, so I imagine the girls going in there 
 grabbing for Tootsie Rolls....

 Warren: I don't wear underwear either. Actually I don't have any Tootsie 
 Rolls to be perfectly honest. (laughing)

 Joe: And there's no pockets. (more laughter)

 Warren: You do the math.

 T.O.M.: (laughing) The new record is quite extensive and keeps up with some 
 of the tradition. It makes light of alot of things. A little into politics 
 and everything else...

 Warren: Well, we're all connoisseurs of punk rock. We've listened to it 
 forever  and we have different sorts of styles of punk rock that we enjoy. 
 There's a lot of things to make fun of and we definately don't limit 
 ourselves when it comes to that.

 T.O.M.: You guys went on Nitro for this record and honestly before picking 
 up Guttermouth's Friendly People record, I didn't know there was such a 
 thing.

 Joe: That was their first release. There's only two bands on the label, 
 Guttermouth and The Vandals, but he's releasing the very first Offspring 
 album record in October.

 Warren: Their catalog's growing.

 Joe: Yeah. It's Brian from the Offspring. He makes a lot of money and he puts 
 it back into punk rock.

 T.O.M.: And that's what it's all about. This is my third cycle through punk, 
 the ups and downs, and it seems that we're heading down the same path that 
 we've headed down the other times. Everybody is dissing everybody else and 
 saying what's punk and what's not punk...

 Warren: Yeah, well you know, we've all been doing this for a long time and we 
 don't have any lofty ambitions of being rock stars or anything like that. 
 We just kind of do what we do, and it really hasn't changed that much.

 Joe: Yeah, it's a good time to do it.

 Warren: Exactly. Right now more people are listening to punk, but that 
 really doesn't affect what we are doing in any direct way.

 T.O.M.: Any animosities?

 Warren: You mean towards successful bands?

 T.O.M.: Yeah.

 Warren: No, I think it's great.

 Joe: Much better. People are going to buy a certain amount of records every 
 year, and I'd rather them give their money to Green Day and the Offspring, 
 rather than White Tiger and Blind Melon. Not the Blind Melon we're playing 
 at.

 Warren: Or rap, Motley Crew, or all the other heavy metal crap that was so 
 prominent for so long, or the Human League, or something like that.

 Joe: White Lion, that was who I was trying to think of.

 Warren: Yeah, White Lion and White Tiger and Zebra.

 Joe: Any band that's named after animal.

 Warren: Any band with white and an animal following it deserves death.

 T.O.M.: I guess I figure that someone who listens to Green Day wouldn't 
 listen to, say, Naked Aggression anyhow, so it's not really taking into what 
 Naked Aggression might sell, although people may get turned on enough 
 listening to a Green Day...

 Joe: Yeah, they may get turned on to Green Day and maybe Naked Aggression 
 might be not their next album, but four or five albums down the way. You 
 know, pick up the Naked Aggression 10".

 Warren: There's all sorts of people. People who like punk rock like it for 
 the attitude. The reasons that they are going to like it are usually going 
 to be that they have a lot in common. So if they're gonna like Green Day, 
 with that kind of attitude, it's OK.  They might not get a chance to 
 discover some of the other bands if they didn't get to hear those bands 
 first. You never know.

 T.O.M.: (We took a momentary break to talk about cops.) I don't know what 
 it is like out in the west. You have places like Gilman and other places 
 that have been open forever, but kids are trying to do things here. It's 
 kind of neat and it's kind of dynamic, but the cops seem to be hell bent 
 on harrassing and doing everything possible to shut them down. You guys 
 have any of that?

 Warren: It's everywhere.

 Joe: A club lasts only so long, until people figure a way how to shut it 
 down. That's part of the fun.

 Warren: Yeah, it makes it more of an adventure.

 T.O.M.: It's sort of depressing to me. That's because in this day and age 
 you want people to think and you want people to do, as they're are tons of 
 people that aren't doing shit and they don't think about anything, and 
 here's some kids 18, 19, 20, whatever their age happens to be, and they're 
 out there doing something.  They're taking other kids off the street...

 Joe: Yeah, but I gave up worrying about that ten years ago. It's part of the 
 game of punk rock. You want to play at a place, you don't want to be the 
 first band to play there, but if you're not the second or third, it'll be 
 gone by the time you play there.

 Warren: If you put some effort into it and are responsible about it, you 
 probably figure out a way to keep things going. It just depends on where 
 you are and how much effort you want to put into it. There's been a lot 
 of places that have been consistant for years and years and years. It's 
 just getting it together I guess.

 T.O.M.: You guys have been around a long time in the scene, and have never 
 left the scene, so what do you see about this go around that you like and 
 don't like, and how is it dynamically when compared to the earlier days?

 Joe: Kids want to hear new, good punk rock. So anyone that can come out and 
 make new, good punk rock is going to succeed and anyone like Fear or the 
 Circle Jerks who are relying on their old hits are going to choke. I think 
 that's the way it should be. Fear, the Circle Jerks, and anyone like them 
 have as much talent as any other kid coming off the street, who are writing 
 new punk rock, but if they're not in touch with what's happening or if 
 they're lazy, they're only going to succeed to the level of the work they 
 put into it. It's a much better situation because everyone has an equal 
 chance, because if everyone was just into old punk, then new kids wouldn't 
 have a chance. They'd say I wasn't around back then, I have no hope, but 
 now every band that opened for us on this tour could be the next band that 
 we beg to go on tour with next year. Or, our next album could be embraced, 
 as much as anyone elses new album, because we're writing new songs that we 
 think are good.

 T.O.M.: So how long has this tour been going on?

 Joe: Two and a half weeks?

 Warren: Yeah, it's a month long tour altogether.

 T.O.M.: Any special bands that you've played with along the way?

 Warren: Yeah, the Pee Tanks were good.

 Joe: They're from Annapolis, Maryland. Suicide Machine, from Detroit (They 
 used to be Jack Kevorkian and the Suicide Machine, but trimmed the name to 
 avoid any potential legal problems).

 Warren: There's a lot of good bands.

 Joe: Spots Around the Ear from Atlanta were good.

 Warren: It's just kids having fun, doing kind of the same thing that was 
 going on years and years ago, but now they're old enough to have equipment, 
 write songs, and play at shows. It's cool.

 T.O.M.: Now, has Strung Out been going with you on the entire tour?

 Joe: Yeah, Yeah.

 T.O.M.: Did Stormy put the tour together? 

 Joe: We did actually. We wanted to go on tour and we wanted to bring a good 
 band from California that we like and Strung Out was one of the bands we 
 liked the most, that we play with a lot out there. Stormy is booking for 
 them now, but she wasn't before.

 T.O.M.: That's good...

 Joe: Warren's going to produce their next album.

 Warren: There's talk of it, yeah.

 Joe: Oh, just talk of it?! There's a lot of talk about it. Oh Yeah, they 
 have another friend.

 Warren: It's not that.

 T.O.M.: Strung Out's last album was the only album I know about, and it came 
 out last year, didn't it?

 Warren: Yeah, they're getting ready to go into the studio in November. Not 
 too long after we get back.

 T.O.M.: Your new record has been out, what, 2-3 months now?

 Warren: Since May.
 
 Joe: The way they work albums now, it's like Guttermouth's album, a year 
 after it was out, was selling more then it did when it was released. 
 Especially with a new label, lining up distributors, after a year if 
 finally starts to sell.

 T.O.M.: Plus they started touring. I think they opened up for the Offspring, 
 at least on part of their tour.

 Joe: Yes, they did. And NoFX and Face to Face.

 T.O.M.: I probably shouldn't say it, but a lot of people that went to the 
 show in Cleveland, said that Guttermouth just blew the Offspring off the 
 stage.

 Joe: They have a very good live show.

 Warren: Yeah, they have a very good live show and they've been in it for 
 the long run, and the record sales have been trickling and getting better 
 and better. That's cool.

 T.O.M.: Have you guys gone to Europe?

 Joe: We've gone to Europe, but we're due to go back. In fact, everyone 
 keeps asking us to go back. So. It's really easy for a California punk band 
 to do really well over there. It's just a question of when we have time. We 
 might go with NoFX in May.

 T.O.M.: How do you see the scenes being different between here and there? 
 It seems like they have bigger crowds, more enthusiatic.

 Joe: Bigger more enthusiastic crowds, that's exactly what it is.

 T.O.M.: Do you play squats over there?

 Joe: Yeah, we play wherever. Squats, plush hotels...No.

 T.O.M.: Yeah, I thought I saw you guys as a Frank Sinatra cover band or 
 lounge lizard acts.

 Joe: Disneyland Retro Punk Days (laughing).

 T.O.M.: My mind keeps going back to Huntington Beach and the dynamics.

 Joe: It's not all that happening with new bands, but there's a lot of 
 established bands, lots of history, but the new bands are coming out of 
 Inland Empire, it's kind of what Orange County used to be. There's a lot 
 of better bands there.

 Warren: What's wierd is that a lot of the really good bands come from 
 really obscure areas, like from not real happening scenes.  They come 
 from nowhere towns. They work that much harder and put that much more 
 into it, yet have so much going against them. They are really, really 
 cool, cause they're not tainted by the trendy elements. They just kind 
 of do their own thing.

 T.O.M.: I go to a lot of shows and there's a lot of great bands out there. 
 It's absolutely amazing. They happen to be in smaller towns and they don't 
 have the band that's already hit it. In the bigger places you those bands 
 that let others go in on their coat tails. They help nuture bands and help 
 other ones get going. It's a heck of alot tougher coming from a really small 
 place where it can only hold one or two bands...

 Joe: Right, right. In LA, it's about like Bad Religion helping all the 
 bands that they helped. Epitaph and Fat, NoFX helping all those bands and 
 Dexter's helping a lot of bands, and we're going to do the same thing, 
 start helping some other bands and recording some other bands too, in order 
 to help them get out of where ever they are.

 Warren: Exactly. Help to spread the word.

 T.O.M.: The tough thing is that people go practice a lot, try to set up 
 shows, but they don't have the experience in doing that. If there isn't 
 someone experienced around to help them, they get frustrated and quit. 
 Who knows what you've lost along the way.

 Joe: Some people don't quit that should have quit years ago.

 T.O.M.: Do you ever think about that?

 Joe: Quitting?

 T.O.M.: Yeah.

 Joe: I always think about that, but then someone always calls up and says 
 come on play this or got a couple songs, lets put a record together. Then 
 we always do it, cause its fun.

 T.O.M.: How come no songs about Pete Wilson yet?

 Joe: He's invisable to me. He doesn't even register.

 Warren: He's just like ah..what could you say about him, that hasn't been 
 said. He's such an easy target, it couldn't be fair. We like to challenge 
 ourselves. (laughing)

 T.O.M.: That guy's like a whole album full of material right there.

 Joe: It's sad. It's an embarrassment. I don't want to draw attention to 
 him (jet noise obscures the remainder of the answer).

 T.O.M.: Does that mean you like Pat Brown better than Pete Wilson?

 Joe: We weren't around when he was governor. Our songs not about him, it's 
 about a friend of ours named Pat Brown.

 T.O.M.: Well, just proved my ignorance level once more.

 Warren: I like that angle though, we should start saying that it's about him.

 T.O.M.: (laughing) You do touch upon politics, you sort of skirt it, and 
 you poke fun at it.  Do you pay much attention to it and what's going on?

 Joe: I watch CNN and Crossfire everyday, so I know what's going on. Oh, and 
 David Brinkley.

 Warren: I find it kind of interesting, but we're certainly not a political 
 band, like our whole motivation is to give our feelings about any political 
 kind of thing.

 Joe: Our fans are 15 or 16, so I don't think it's fair to force it upon 
 them.  I could mold them into nazis or communists with a couple of good 
 songs and that's not fair. They don't deserve that, they need to find out 
 on their own. 

 T.O.M.: I'm sure that no one would think that of you guys, with 
 Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious and, probably one of my favorite cover 
 songs of all time, Summer Lovin'.

 Warren: Absolutely. That's a more accurate presentation than anything. 
 We're not trying to cram anything down anyones throat. I've seen to many 
 other bands do it. It's kind of a drag. You go to a concert and you want 
 to have some fun. You don't want to think! (smile)

 Joe: Right, and you just set up some whole boundaries for your whole 
 behavior everywhere you go.

 T.O.M.: So who do you guys hang out with?

 Warren: You mean bands and stuff?

 Joe: Hollywood celebrities. No. (laugh)

 T.O.M.: So you're part of the Jane Fonda set. You go out to the ranch and 
 stuff (laugh).

 Joe: Nope, we haven't been invited down there yet. We have with NoFX. Eric, 
 Offspring, Pennywise, and Assorted Jellybeans.

 Warren: The whole thing is that when you are playing alot and you're playing 
 the same circuit, you hang out for hours and hours everyday and become 
 friends.

 T.O.M.: How often do you play out on the coast?

 Joe: At least once a month, then sometimes every weekend. You can go up to 
 San Francisco, San Diego, Tiajuana, Reno or even Arizona on a weekend.

 T.O.M.: On the road, do tensions ever build up?

 Joe: I only talk through this thing. (Joe pulls out a pen that repeats 
 "I only talk through this.")

 T.O.M.: That looks like a pen out of some old cartoon (the Jetsons).

 Joe: It's from Home Alone Two. You trick people, they think the phone rings 
 (the pen starts ringing).

 Warren: We all know each other real well and have known each other for a 
 really long time, so we get along alright. Even if we do get on each others 
 nerves, we kind of laugh, cause it's usually funny. 

 T.O.M.: How much time in a year do you spend out on the road?

 Joe: This year we did two solid months of touring, then a lot of weekends.

 Warren: Probably about 3 months in the past year, Yeah.

 T.O.M.: Do you guys do anything else beyond the music? Anybody work at 
 Kinkos?

 Joe: I work at CBS television. Dave owns a beer distribution company. 
 Warren is in Oingo Boingo.

 T.O.M.: (laughs)

 Joe: Every year on Halloween, Warren plays shows with Oingo Boingo and 
 makes lots of money.

 Warren: Yeah, and film composing.

 Joe: He composes music for films.

 Warren: And producing other peoples' records.

 T.O.M.: So, it's all entertainment related.

 Warren: Yeah, pretty much. I guess you could consider alcohol entertainment.

 Joe: Oh Yeah, we just provided some music for the X Files. That's actually 
 pretty interesting, cause I think that it's the only TV show that punk 
 bands should give music to.

 T.O.M.: Yeah, that one and the one that Fox just cancelled, TV Nation. 
 That's the only show that I make sure and watch. The guys right on the 
 mark about things.  
 
 Joe: Yeah, he's funny. So there's the X Files episode coming up where a kid 
 wears a Vandals tee shirt and there's Vandals music playing in his head. 
 They like punk rock on that show.  
 
 Warren: They do. I admire them for that.

 Joe: Every week there's someone wearing a punk tee shirt, like Social 
 Distortion or the Vandals or Offspring or whatever.

 T.O.M.: I guess I can say I haven't watched that show much. I saw a movie 
 not too long ago where they were playing, actually I think it was a NoFX 
 song or something like that on the radio, just before the guy committed 
 suicide. Also saw Henry Rollins playing a policeman in a movie recently 
 as well.

 Warren: Actually, that was his second choice for a career, but...

 Joe: Yeah, he should stick to acting.

 T.O.M.: He's out doing spoken word now...

 Joe: Out is the operative word.

 T.O.M.: I think they were charging twelve bucks a pop to listen to him 
 speak.

 Joe: Yeah, and if you go backstage to talk with him, he charges you extra. 
 (laughing)

 Warren: Yeah, you have to have your ATM card, if you want to have a 
 conversation with him. (laughing)

 T.O.M.: I'm not sure that we'll go down that road much further.

 Warren: Go ahead.

 Joe: We're not really big fans. People want to hear how much someone sucks. 
 He has reached the bottom.

 T.O.M.: Did he ever reach the top, that is the question, since you had to 
 have a peak before you went into the valley.

 Joe: As I like to say, he was the third best singer Black Flag ever had. 
 (laughing)

 T.O.M.: I think most would agree that Black Flag died on the day he joined 
 the band.

 Warren: We're firm believers in that.

 T.O.M.: It's kind of funny, cause you guys don't seem to give that attitude. 
 I don't dis many people, since it's really not my business, but I was 
 sitting behind stage at the Riverdales show with the Mr. T Experience and 
 Boris the Sprinkler, and during the show that Ben said two words to the 
 audience, before the show security was tightened up and they threw everyone 
 out from behind the stage. After the show Ben goes back into his cubby hole. 
 So I'm sitting there, left pondering why somebody would still want to go 
 through this if they want to shelter themselves from everything.

 Joe: It could have been an off night for the boy.

 Warren: Yeah, you never know. You're playing every night, you're bombarded 
 with people every night, and maybe some nights you don't want to talk with 
 anyone.

 Joe: Maybe the club got all uptight, cause they think the band is big. When 
 we come to a place, we find them kicking the opening bands out of the back 
 stage area. We get really mad and say don't make a reputation for us. Could 
 be a lot of things.

 T.O.M.: (I'm whimpering pleas for forgiveness from Ben). I do want to say 
 that Danny Panic was awesome. He did come over and made a point to talk 
 with me (what an ass kisser I can be).

 Joe: Sometimes what we do is if someone's tired, they'll leave.  But we'll 
 make a point of sticking around to talk with people. If everyone's tired on 
 the same night and left, everyone will think that we're big losers. 
 Sometimes I'll be totally tired, but if everyone is sick or everyone went 
 somewhere or Warren went off with some 12 year old girl, I will make a point 
 to stick around and talk with everybody, no matter what. It's hard, cause 
 people are waiting to label you as a dick. (laugh)

 Warren: But a lot of times that label is justified.

 Joe: Not in our case.

 Warren: We're the great communicators.

 T.O.M.: Now, you're sitting here with a bb gun.

 Joe: The Eagle 17 caliber bb gun.

 T.O.M.: Everybody go out to their local K Mart and get one of these.

 Joe: I did get it from K Mart.

 Warren: (Shows me his K Mart gold watch).

 T.O.M.: Doe that mean you've bought so much stuff there that they gave you 
 the gold plated K Mart watch?

 Warren: Yeah, he worked there for twenty years. (laugh)

 Joe: I'm just a connoisseur of fine jewlery and men's accessories. (laugh).

 T.O.M.: What else do you guys do to pass time on the road, other than sit 
 out in sand pits?

 Joe: I play Sim Farm. I have a lap top computer.

 Warren: I buy National Enquirers and People Magazine. I buy like two or 
 three magazines a day 
 
 Joe: I work. 

 Warren: Ya, he has a celluler phone.

 Joe: Yeah, I have the celluler phone and I get Fed Ex packages every day, 
 so I actually do all my work.

 Warren: I watch TV and yesterday we went fishing, cause our car broke down. 
 So we just had some fun. We went on the Seesaws and we're probably going to 
 hit a bucket of golf balls in a few minutes.

 Joe: I have a very good slingshot.

 Warren: Just stupid things to occupy your time, cause there is definately 
 several hours everyday.

 T.O.M.: (A jet takes off) That noise was the last citizens of Buffalo 
 leaving before the show tonight.

 Warren: Yeah, they're all gonna die.

 T.O.M.: US Air flight 666. 

 T.O.M.: Are they rereleasing any of your old stuff.

 Joe: Yeah, they are releasing it on Timebomb Records, which is a very good 
 label. They just released old Social Distortion and The Vandals, and 
 they're signing new bands. They're from Laguna Beach. Very beautiful place.

 T.O.M.: I keep two copies of the Social Distortion records, just in case one 
 went bad. One's for the radio show. I figured it would never come back out 
 again and sure enough it's back out.

 Joe: Jim Garno, their long time manager and a good friend of ours, busted 
 his ass getting their old stuff assembled in one place so it could have a 
 home.

 T.O.M.: Maybe, you'll know. Maybe you won't know. Maybe it's no longer a 
 rumor on the west coast. There's a rumor that Social D. may be going back 
 to their roots in newer stuff.

 Warren: I think it would be a good idea.

 Joe: Everyones' expecting them to and I saw them recently with Rancid. 
 Rancid was playing this place called The Palace, it holds about 1500 
 people, when the buzz was just started on them and Social D came and 
 opened for them. Unannounced. You can see that they want to be in front 
 of that type of audience and they're going to have to go back to their 
 roots to keep the attention of that audience. Lot of the new kids don't 
 really know who they are, but the ones that do are real loyal. I think 
 it will spread to the rest of them. I think that they're well poised to 
 survive this whole thing.

 T.O.M.: Anything you guys want to say to people?

 Warren: Have sex with horses. (laughing)

 Joe: Unity and have sex with horses.

 Warren: Have sex with horses, while being united.

 T.O.M.: I really appreciate it guys, I hope that you have another twenty 
 years of playing music.

 Warren and Joe: No problem there.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------
 The Old Man is Art Fridrich
 The Old Man Radio Hour                                  
 Friday 10pm-2am on WERG FM-90
 Gannon University
 University Square
 Erie, PA 16501
 fridrich@moose.erie.net
----------------------------------------------------------------------------

 DREW'S VIEWS - Testicular Trauma: Thoughts of Designer Imposter Body Spray 
 By Andrew Ian Feinberg


      I can remember the first time I saw the commercial vividly, for I was
 scarred eternally, not unlike the first time I had a woman look me square 
 in the eye, force a smile, and mumble "Don't worry, I heard it happens to 
 a LOT of guys." While channel surfing a few months ago, I found myself 
 landing on MTV.  It was The Real World Two that was on, and I couldn't 
 change the channel because it was my favorite one, where Tammi purposely 
 wired her mouth shut to lose weight.  I was thinking about taking up a 
 collection to keep it wired shut forever, but alas, I digress. 
      A commercial interlude began with a Mentos commercial, and I was 
 appalled to find myself mouthing along "Mentos, the freshmaker!" with my
 television.  That was bad enough, but when I realized I was actually
 holding my remote triumphantly, not unlike the girl holding up her mighty
 Mentos, I knew I must turn off the television and get some fresh air. I
 reached for the "off" button on the remote, but found myself unable to hit
 it.  Instead, I my eyes were glazed as I heard my RCA beckon: "The
 following demonstration has been made suitable for television."  It piqued
 my interest, I figured I'd watch the commercial.  Big mistake. 
      It was a naked woman prancing around the screen with a spray can, 
 covered only by two blue bars that followed her around covering her breasts, 
 and her holiest of holies.  Now, seeing an attractive naked woman bopping
 around on a television screen, this is not what scarred me.  Don't you
 worry.  In fact, it made me laugh hysterically.  A voice-over was explaining 
 "First, spray Designer Imposter Spray on your arms, and then spray some on 
 your (beeped out the breasts), and the same time the woman was spraying it 
 on the described areas.  It went on to describe all the different places 
 one could spray it, while the woman, seemingly in ecstasy, followed suit.  
 It was truly a ridiculous image, the quasi-orgasmic quality of spraying some 
 cheap-assed imitation perfume all over herself. She wound up spraying every 
 part of her body really, as the voice-over told me that spraying this 
 poisonous smelling fluid all over feels so good "you could spray them 
 everywhere."  But this, of course, is not true.  She missed a spot.  If she 
 was to spray the faux-spray in one particular place, shall we say, below the 
 equator, this would not produce the ecstatic result as it provided elsewhere.  
 I believe the correct word to describe the result would be "agony."  But, 
 thankfully, she missed that spot, so the commercial, which I thought was 
 over, wound up being just silly, not traumatic.  Little did I know that in 
 just ten seconds I would be huddled in the corner of the room, rocking in 
 the fetal position, hand immersed in my pants, a la Al Bundy. 
      It seemed as though the commercial was over, as they showed a bottle 
 of the stuff on the screen.  But then it happened.  Like all horrible things
 in my life, I saw it in slow motion, like when Marsellus Wallace in Pulp
 Fiction had Zed give him a proctologic exam without the courtesy of a
 sigmoidoscope.  A nude man appeared on the screen, bottle in hand, blue
 bar on crotch.  The voice-over triumphantly announced, "Available for men
 too!"  The man, with a smug as hell grin, SPRAYS HIS CROTCH AND CHUCKLES! 
 He laughs with this smirk on his face, as if it were the most euphoric and
 wonderful experience he had ever experienced. And the commercial was
 over.  It was an overload for my brain; I believe that was when I went
 into shock.  In my trauma induced state, my entire life passed before my
 eyes.  Well, okay, not my WHOLE life, but an incident in particular that
 involved myself and my cajones. 
      I flashed back to seventh grade, I must have been around twelve or
 thirteen years old.  I remember being twelve quite well, it was when I was
 a tiny 5'4 boy, and knew that someday I would grow and grow and finally be
 able to conquer that freaking sign that said "YOU MUST BE THIS TALL TO GO
 ON THIS RIDE."  Now I'm twenty-five.  Hey, it's not that I'm still not
 allowed to go on certain rides, I just CHOOSE not to okay?? I could go on
 any ride I want, I just don't like waiting in line!  Wait, I'm mixing up
 my traumas.  Let's go back to my being twelvish. 
      My dream girl, Penelope Horowitz, had asked me whether I wanted to go
 over to her house on Sunday and study with her for an algebra exam.  I could
 hardly sleep that night, knowing what would happen when I was alone with
 her perusing the subtle nuances of algebra.  I knew in my heart of
 hearts that in the midst of studying, we would look up from the book,
 stare into each others' eyes, admit our undying love, have a torrid affair,
 get married, have children, and happily grow old together.  I just had to
 make sure everything was right.  Sunday morning, I spent two hours getting
 myself absolutely perfect for the big study date.  When I felt I was
 ready, I started to leave the house, but ran back into the bathroom. 
      As I was singing along to "Islands in the Stream" on my radio, I 
 realized I had forgotten the key to getting a woman to think of me as real 
 man.  Cologne.  So I covered myself with my dad's English Leather, not
 thoroughly unlike the naked woman in the Designer Imposter commercial. 
 But what if Penelope begged me to have sex with her?  This was a real
 possibility.  The prospect of her finding me "not so fresh"  was strictly
 unacceptable.  So in the middle of singing the Dolly Parton part of the
 chorus, I pulled out the waistband of my underwear and did my final
 spray.  "Islands in the stream...that is what we AREEEEEEEEEEEEGHHHHHHH!"
 I had never experienced such excruciating pain in my entire life.  I had
 to cancel the date.  I spent the remainder of the day holding my wounded
 huevos and cursing the day I had tried to spray myself "there." Penelope
 went on to date and marry my best friend.  Oh Penelope, I miss you so...if
 you're reading this give me a call, I know I can make you so happy... 
      Back to the story at hand.  The man in the commercial had made the same
 mistake I had made, yet suffered no ill consequences.  It was the most
 unreal and unjust act I had seen since Marisa Tomei had won the Oscar for
 Best Supporting Actress.  But like the Tomei tragedy, this wrong could be
 righted, I knew it.  I knew then why I had been put on this earth.  It was
 to get that commercial modified.  I wrote letters. I made urgent phone
 calls.  I boycotted using the product.  Okay, I hadn't really used it in
 the first place, but hey, manufacturers didn't know that.  Yet every day
 that blasted commercial would come on time and time again.  Hundreds of
 times, I saw that smug bastard spray his crotch.  Was there no justice in
 the world?  The horror, the horror.  But just as I began to give up hope,
 it happened.  The commercial began the same, bimbo dancing around in her
 Imposter glory.  Same guy, blue bar on privates.  But this time, he
 sprayed his CHEST, smirking and chuckling. Glory, hallelujah!  Can I get
 an amen?  There's no need to thank me.  Just knowing that I might have
 saved one pubescent boy from making the same mistake I made is enough. 
 All I ask for is a page in the history books documenting my selfless effort 
 to make the world a better place to live.  Or maybe a statue. 

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

 BETWEEN ZERO & ONE 
 By Steven Leith

 Thinking Outside the Self

      I am going to stretch the concept of a political column to include 
 political socialization.  That is the process by which a state molds 
 subjects (citizens) into a cohesive political unit that operates within 
 acceptable limits established by the state.
      How's that again?  Political Socialization is the process of 
 indoctrination that creates a common point of view.  Those commonly held 
 views form the foundation upon which the state is built.  We can not escape 
 political socialization.  The degree to which we are successfully 
 manipulated by this process is generally the degree to which we are 
 accepted by our society. 
      The process is made possible by the way the human brain evolves 
 during early childhood.  Until about the age of three the brain is growing.  
 It is a mass of firing neurons without the order that we like to call 
 adult thinking. 
      Then the brain begins to shrink.  This shrinking is the cutting away 
 of neural patterns that are not found to be useful in the environment.  The 
 order of the adult mind is created by closing down neural pathways.  The 
 remaining hardwired architecture reinforces culturally and environmentally 
 useful thought pathways.  In effect we build our brain's functionality by 
 getting rid of pathways that are not reinforced by our environment. 
      We as a species learn to see the world in the terms of our society.  
 Our thinking is hardwired and what we do and say is limited by how our 
 brain was molded by early childhood development.  Although it is not 
 impossible to "think" outside ourselves, it is very hard.
      It is rare that our species has a chance to alter the hardwire of 
 thinking patterns.  We are at a point now in the development of human 
 thinking patterns to make a change.  The reason for this is the advent 
 of the Net.
      Now comes the leap.  More than a way of doing, the Net is a way of 
 thinking. The Net is becoming a new paradigm for open pathways. By linking 
 different cultural views it links different ways of thinking. It is 
 creating a species wide thinking system that allows more possibilities.  
 This new way of thinking can help the individual rise out of culturally 
 imposed thought patterns.
      For all this high tone pontificating I must point out that the Net is 
 still in its infancy.  It is exploding with a myriad of neural pathways.  
 It is growing links and patterns that will later define the adult Net. 
      What the mature version of the Net might become will be a result of 
 how those links and pathways evolve.  Will the "thought" patterns be 
 restricted to consumerism?  Will one culture dominate, rendering all other 
 ideas invisible?  Will the chance to evolve a more global Net be lost?
      The Net's pathways are being grown now.  Some pathways will be cut 
 out, others will be reinforced with money or laws.  The Net is undergoing 
 its political socialization now.  When the Net grows up, what do you want 
 it to think like?

 
 ---------------------------------------------------------------------------

 SHARP POINTED STICK AWARD
 By DJ Johnson

      This month?  No contest.  John Wayne Bobbitt.  Now, this guy could get
 the award on his best day without even trying, so I ignore him most of the
 time.  This month, however, the Bobster has outdone himself.  After his wife
 sliced off his penis and tossed it out the car window, after the surgery and
 the rehabilitation...which we have enough taste not to talk about in any
 great detail...and the trial and all the publicity, John Wayne Bobbitt walked
 into the beauty salon where his ex-wife, Lorenna, is employed and begged her 
 to come back to him.  
      It only takes a little bit of reading to discover that Lorenna was 
 almost justified in slicing the prick off of the dick.  I say "almost"
 only because I am a man, and I can't quite justify such a thing.  Bobbitt
 is scum.  He has no idea how to treat his fellow human beings, especially
 those of the female variety.  He is one of the most ridiculous people on
 this planet.  Lorenna, on the other hand, is...well...the kind of woman who
 would see castration as the more intelligent option to, oh, just leaving?
      To Lorenna's credit, she told the Bobster to stick it where the sun
 don't shine, which is what she wishes she'd done when she had the chance.
 John left the salon a broken man.  Heh, sorry, that was too easy.  You
 have to wonder why this guy would try to rekindle his relationship with
 the woman who sliced off his penis.  Best guess: publicity.  Bobbitt had
 been in the spotlight for a long time, then the lights faded and he was left 
 with just himself, which isn't much.  So, actually, giving him this award 
 would be catering to his silly cry for attention.  So I take BACK the award.
 Three paragraphs worth of attention is enough.
      Instead, I'll hand the statue to a group of mystery recipients.  They
 are mysterious only in that we don't know who the hell they are.  They are
 the bunch of idiots who attempted to break into a fireworks factory in Kent,
 England, by using a blowtorch to cut through the door.  The resulting 
 explosion was quite something, setting the building AND the getaway van on
 fire.   There were no witnesses, but after analyzing the M.O., police are 
 searching for Yosemite Sam, Elmer Fudd, Sylvester the Cat and Wyle E. 
 Coyote.  Yes, they got away, but you can bet they'll strike again. If I were
 Scotland Yard, I'd post undercover cops at the Gas Company.  Well, not AT
 the Gas Company, but a little ways AWAY from the Gas Company.  Meanwhile,
 if any of the perpetrators can dial a phone with their heavily bandaged 
 hands, there's an award waiting for them here.
      That's all for this month.  If you know someone who really needs access
 to a sharp pointed stick, you can rat on them simply by sending email to
 moonbaby@serv.net.  I'd love to hear all about it.  Remember, do unto
 others only as you would have them do unto you, unless you want to do it
 anonymously, in which case, fire away!

 ---------------------------------------------------------------------------
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    :                 ""      """"   """"  """""  """""     +        . 

	     Random stuff for your entertainment.  Happy scrolling!


 "Pindrop's Creative Writing"

 (On n'ecrit bien que sur ce qu'on n'a jamais vecu - Remy de Gourmont)

  write what I know?
  I know all I know
  as a flounder dreams of fire
  if I knew just what I knew
  why would I write at all?

  - Scott Ellis
 

 Suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress.
 But I repeat myself.  -- Mark Twain




 When a cat is dropped, it always lands on its feet.  When toast is 
 dropped, it always lands butter-side-down.  I propose to strap buttered 
 toast to the back of a cat (butter facing up).  The two will hover, 
 spinning, inches above the ground.  With a giant buttered-toast/cat array, 
 a high-speed monorail could easily link New York with Chicago. -- Omni


  Beware the scarecrow lost in flight
  Things that shift though out of sight
  Fear the beast that hides within
  Where deadly nervous doubts begin
  For sooner shall the cycle tread
  Like footsteps of the walking dead
  Subtle changes seeming mere
  Grave mistakes so seldom clear
  The imperfection diamond rough
  Will be a different diamond cut

   - Fred Cole (of Dead Moon)

   

 The graduate with a Science degree asks, "Why does it work?"
 The graduate with an Engineering degree asks, "How does it work?"
 The graduate with an Accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?"
 The graduate with a Liberal Arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with that?"





		       -  UNTITLED  -        
			 
		rest your brain on my shoulder
					    there  there
		the clouds float away
				       where   where
		your thoughts crawl
				down your neck onto my arm

		on the last cloud you float away
						  away

		my shoulder and arm still don't trust

		the sudden freedom

	
						H.California
						 1995-09-03





   Karate is a form of martial arts in which people who have had years 
   and years of training can, using only their hands and feet, make some 
   of the worst movies in the history of the world.  - Dave Barry

 

	Twice five syllables 
	Plus seven can't say much but 
	That's Haiku for you.



   A great many people think they are thinking when they are merely 
   rearranging their prejudices.  -- William James




   Once at a social gathering, Gladstone said to Disraeli, "I predict, 
   Sir, that you will die either by hanging or of some vile disease".  
   Disraeli replied, "That all depends, sir, upon whether I embrace your 
   principles or your mistress."



	Sheepskin seatcovers 
	Winter warm and summer cool 
	Little lambs no more

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

 
  SPECIAL THANKS - To ServNet, Cai Campbell, NeoSoft Corp (Makers of Neobook,
  Neopaint and Neoshow), Don Dill (Cartoonsist responsible for Stress Man,
  the wild eyed guy in Editor's Notes), Cai Campbell (Who made the NeoBook
  version of Cosmik Debris), Jim Andrews (who does all the HTML work on our
  WWW site) and Blair Buscareno (editor of Teen Scene, a great garage music
  zine).  And this month, a very special thanks to all the participants in
  The Great Surf Summit, who really got into it and made it work.
  And one Above-And-Beyond award/thank you to Steve Leith, who, faced with
  a malfunctioning computer, went to a cyber-cafe to write his column for
  this month.  Wow.  Makes me feel like a real wimp for whining about how
  slow my 14.4 modem seems, y'know what I mean?

   DJ

  --------------------------------------------------------------------------

 
	   E-MAIL ADDRESSES FOR CONTACTING COSMIK DEBRIS' WRITERS

		      
	       DJ Johnson (Editor)......moonbaby@serv.net
	       Cai Campbell.............vex@serv.net
	       James Andrews............jimndrws@serv.net
	       Louise Johnson...........aquaria@serv.net
	       coLeSLAw.................coleslaw@greatgig.com
	       Scott Wedel..............syzygy@cyberspace.com
	       Andrew Ian Feinberg......afeinber@panix.com
	       Steven Leith.............leith@wolfenet.com
	       Steve Marshall...........MHND71F@prodigy.com
	       The Platterpuss..........Plattrpuss@aol.com
	       The Old Man..............fridrich@moose.eire.net


	       Cosmik Debris' WWW site..http://www.greatgig.com/cosmikdebris
	       Subscription requests....moonbaby@serv.net
	       Cai Campbell's BBS (Great Gig In The Sky)..206-935-8486
      

 
