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                     DECEMBER, 1996 (Issue # 19)


                          - The Specialists - 

                DJ Johnson.................Editor
                Jim Andrews................HTML
				Wayne Burke................HTML
                coLeSLaw...................Graphic Artist
                Lauren Marshall............Administrative Assistant
                Louise Johnson.............Administrative Assistant and
                                           Keeper Of The Debris

                         - The Cosmik Writers -

   Jim Andrews,  Ann Arbor, coLeSLAw, Robert Cummings, Shaun Dale, Phil Dirt,
   David Fenigsohn, Alex Gedeon, Keith Gillard, DJ Johnson, Steven Leith,
   Steve Marshall, The Platterpuss, Paul Remington, and John Sekerka.


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                    T A B L E   O F   C O N T E N T S



EDITOR'S NOTES: Introducing Ann Arbor, linking to a great new website, and
   listing the winners of last months CD drawings.
										   
 
A BRAND NEW DAY FOR CURTIS MAYFIELD: Six years after a freak accident made 
   him a quadriplegic, soul legend Curtis Mayfield returns to the forefront
   of pop with an album filled with message and emotion.  Curtis talks about
   the process of making that record, and about the music itself. Interview
   by DJ Johnson.
					

A MODERN COLLABORATION - Vai meets Thome: In part two of our interview, 
   Steve Vai and Joel Thome share their memories of Frank Zappa, and discuss
   his accomplishments, his influence, and what might have been.

 
COSMIK DEBRIS MEETS DOWN BY LAW: Kicking back with John, Dave and Sam of
   Down By Law in a small and loud dressing room with cement-block walls...
   just about 20 feet from the stage, where another band was blasting away.
   If that isn't the perfect setting for interviewing a great punk band, we
   don't know what is.	 Interview by Shaun Dale (with DJ Johnson).


LOS FANTASTICO, ASOMBROS, Y MUY MUY LOUD HUEVOS RANCHEROS:	Brent Cooper, 
   guitarist for Canada's hotter-than-sparklers trio, Huevos Rancheros,
   explains how they get their big sound, fesses up to why they named their
   band after an egg dish, and basically explains what the "10" is for on 
   the volume knob.  Interview by DJ Johnson.


MAL SHARPE - THE WEIRDNESS CONTINUES: As half of Coyle and Sharpe, Mal Sharpe
   took the "man on the street interview" concept and turned it on its ear 
   in the early 1960's.  Today, he looks back at some of those hilarious
   "pranks" they played on unsuspecting pedestrians, and also discusses his
   new book, Weird Rooms. Interview by Ann Arbor.
	 		

OUR FAVORITE THINGS: The staff of Cosmik Debris takes turns picking their
   five favorite recordings of 1996.


THE 2ND ANNUAL COSMIK GUIDE TO HOLIDAY MUSIC: Steve Marshall serves up 
   another big batch of recommendations (and a few warnings) to help you
   pick the right CDs for the holiday season.

								 
TAPE HISS (John Sekerka): This month, John talks to Melora (from Rasputina)
   and producer-musician-all around guy Skip Heller, who has a lot to say
   about his late friend, Les Baxter.


RECORD REVIEWS: Jazz n punk n rock n roll!  And classical, surf, garage, 
   exotica, African, Brazilian, pop, electronic... All that and more.


BETWEEN ZERO & ONE (Steven Leith):	What does it take to win an election?  
   Steve knows.


PHIL'S GARAGE (Phil Dirt):	A non-poem from Mr. Dirt for the holidays.
 

STUFF I NOTICED (DJ Johnson): Plots, lies, and cowpies.  Blend well, serve
   tepid.


THE DEBRIS FIELD (Louise Johnson) Louise has gathered up some great debris
   this month: movie, book and concert reviews, poems, quotes, cartoons, and
   the gross disgusting recipe of the month!


OUR LAST KNOWN WHEREABOUTS: This baby is directly linked to the FBDBS' 
(Federal Bureau of Deviant Behavior Studies) mainframe computer.  They have
ALL of our e-mail addresses.  We saw yours there, too!  If you want to 
contact us, this is where to look first.

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EDITOR'S NOTES
By DJ Johnson 

Happy holidays, everybody.  Welcome to the 19th issue of Cosmik Debris.
We're very excited to introduce our latest writer: Ann Arbor is a disc
jockey at KFJC FM in Los Altos, California (Phil Dirt's station!)  Ann 
interviewed me on the air a few months back, and we've kept in touch
through e-mail ever since.  Be sure to check out her first contribution:
"Mal Sharpe...The Weirdness Continues."	 It's one of the most entertaining
interviews I've read in years.  

We also have some news about one of our FORMER writers.  Cai Campbell has
opened his new zine/cultural hangout/cool stuff website to the public.  
Among the attractions, you'll find an archive of record reviews (many of 
them from Cosmik Debris), and an interactive Desert Island Discs area where 
you fill out a form with the ten records, CDs or tapes that you would take to
a desert island.  You can see submit a new list every time your mood changes,
and you can also get a look at what music OTHER people just couldn't go on
living without.  The website is named after Cai's late lamented BBS system,
The Great Gig In The Sky.  He's making it very interactive, so even though
it's just in the beginning phases of construction, he invites you all to 
come help shape it.  You can submit reviews, articles, top-10 lists, art...
all kinds of things.  The aim is to try to create a feeling of interactive
community similar to what we all experienced on his BBS for over a decade,
and if anyone can do it, it's Cai.  So drop on by http://www.greatgig.com 
and have some fun, make some suggestions, and be sure to take a look at the
review archive!  It's going to be quite a resource.

Time to name the winners of the two drawings held on the 30th of November.
The five winners of Storyville's new CD, A Piece Of Your Soul, are Timothy
Hillman (Burnaby, BC, Canada), Ted James (Austin, Texas, USA), Shawn Stackhouse
(Nepean, Ontario, Canada), Darren Browett (Maple Ridge, BC, Canada) and
Nick Rockwell (Carmel, Indiana, USA).  So for those keeping track, the final
score there was Canada-3 USA-2.  

The five winners of Steve Vai's new CD, Fire Garden, are Simon Buck 
(Kingston, Ontario, Canada), Martin Foubert (Ottawa, Ontario, Canada),
Lee Holden (Shelburne, Vermont, USA), David Mendelson (Huntington Woods,
Michigan, USA), and Steve Bogucki (Parkton, Maryland, USA).  So the USA
and Canada split the double header and it's a North American sweep.  
Considering we had entries from all over the world, that's quite a feat.
We'd like to thank all of you for entering, and we'd also like to thank
Epic Records (Vai) and Code Blue/Atlantic Records (Storyville) for providing
the CDs.

That's about it.  Make sure you set aside extra time for digging into Cosmik
this month, because we have seven interviews and over 50 record reviews,
plus articles, columns, and the ever-explanding Debris Field, where you'll 
find three different kinds of reviews this month: concert, book, and movie.

Enjoy the show!

DJ Johnson
Editor

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

A Brand New Day For CURTIS MAYFIELD
Interviewed by DJ Johnson


"Darkness no longer - a child is born - Mother sheds tears of joy as baby
tests his lungs - My daddy's not there where he ought to be - Somewhere
in Georgia skinning and shooting craps on his knees."

With these words, Curtis Mayfield breaks his six year silence following the
tragic accident that left him a quadriplegic.  Beloved by millions, Curtis'
voice had for decades been one of hope, peace, empowerment and love.  His
effect on listeners transcended the typical fan-star relationship.  To those
who listened closely, Curtis was a personal friend: one that cared deeply
and always had words of encouragement.  To the poor--both black and 
white--he was the voice of hope and self-respect.  There were precious few
performers who could generate an outpouring of emotion such as that which
greeted Curtis after the accident.  Tribute albums were recorded featuring
artists, outstanding in their own rights, who had been influenced by his
music, his message, and his integrity.

Born in Chicago, Illinois on June 3rd, 1942, Curtis was raised in the 
Cabrini-Green projects on Chicago's north side.  Surrounded by the 
characters and situations that would later populate his lyrics, he was lucky
enough to also be surrounded by music, thanks to his mother, his grandmother,
and three of his cousins who performed in The New Jubilee Gospel Singers.
The quartet also featured Jerry Butler, who would feature quite prominently
in Curtis' life.  The New Jubilee Gospel Singers were an important part of
the Traveling Soul Spiritualist Church, which Curtis would attend with his
grandmother.  The beautiful gospel music he heard in that church influenced
many of his greatest songs.

Curtis' talent for lyricism was nurtured by his mother, who read poetry to
him from a very early age.  This, too, was absorbed by the young man who
would later write such meaningful songs as "Beautiful Brother Of Mine," and
"We People Who Are Darker Than Blue," blending his gospel and poetic 
influences with the strong social consciousness that years of exposure to 
injustice had instilled in him.  

After developing his guitar chops and songwriting skills in a few local bands,
Curtis was invited to join Jerry Butler's group, The Impressions.  Originally
a doo wop group called The Roosters, they had gone through a few lineup and
stylistic changes by the time Curtis came aboard.  Not long after they began,
Butler jumped ship for a solo career.  The Impressions almost didn't get off 
the ground, and were in fact dropped from VeeJay Records in 1959.  Curtis
went to work as a guitarist in Butler's backing band, and he eventually took
the money he earned there and went to New York, with the other Impressions in
tow, to record one of his newest songs.  "Gypsy Woman" not only got the
group a recording contract with ABC Records, it also reached #20 on the pop
charts in 1961.  At that time, The Impressions were a quintet.  By 1962, they
were a trio, consisting of Samuel Gooden, Fred Cash and Curtis Mayfield.
With this lineup, The Impressions would become one of the premier soul groups
of the 1960's, recording 12 albums and hitting the charts again and again
until 1969.	 

In 1970, Curtis released his self-titled debut solo album, which reached #19
on the LP charts and produced a devastating single, "(Don't Worry) If There's
A Hell Below We're All Going To Go."  The track opened with the voice of a
woman claiming all the answers to the riddles of life are in the Book Of
Revelations.  A firestorm of distorted bass and chopping wah-wah guitar 
surrounding Curtis' voice as he shouted "Sisters!  Niggers!  Whiteys!  Jews!
Crackers!  Don't worry.  If there's hell below, we're ALL gonna go!"  An 
amazing thing happened: Despite the obvious cold shoulder the song received
from radio programmers everywhere, it reached #29 on the pop charts and #3 
on the R&B charts.  The news was out.  Curtis Mayfield didn't need the 
support of the establishment.  His fans were everywhere.

Over the next three years, Curtis made some of the most popular records
in the business, including his classic 1972 soundtrack, Superfly.  The
title track and "Freddie's Dead" both cracked the top ten, and the album
itself became his one and only #1, selling well over a million copies (and
still selling very well today in CD format).  FM radio stations, still very
much underground in the early part of the 70's, began picking up on album
tracks like "Pusherman," from Superfly, and "Beautiful Brother Of Mine,"
from the 1971 album, Roots.  The dark grooves and powerful bass lines, 
along with the strong social commentary, reached out to new fans who began
snapping up his previous albums.  Curtis Live became one of the hippest
things to have in your record collection.  Times were good.

After the chart-topping success of Superfly, there was nowhere to go but
down--at least as far as quantitative success is concerned--so when Back To 
The World came in at #16 on the LP charts, number crunchers predicted the
worst.  Indeed, chart success became more and more elusive for Curtis after
Superfly, and though he recorded some of his most beautiful music in the 
years that followed that album, the mass-market listener was on to the new
flavor of the day.  Curtis continued to record, and to chart sporadically
(though he always remained a familiar presence on the R&B charts).  In
the late 70's, he bowed to the pressure and made a disco record that 
satisfied no one, including himself.  He recorded less often, due to other
pressures of the music business and general bad luck, such as the demise 
of his Curtom record label.  

Between 1982 and 1990, Curtis released only three albums.  In 1990, he 
worked on the soundtrack to The Return Of Superfly, contributing five 
tracks--including an update of "Superfly," on which he collaborated with
rapper Ice-T.  This often overlooked soundtrack contained a new Mayfield
sound and an interesting suggestion of what the 90's might bring.  But 
on August 14th, 1990, everything changed.  Performing on an outdoor stage
in Brooklyn, New York, a gust of wind caused a lighting rig to come loose 
and crash to the stage, striking Curtis and breaking his neck, destroying
his diaphragm, and leaving him a quadriplegic. 

Six hard years have passed--years that have included many surgeries and 
obstacles.  Curtis' faith, still strong after all these years, seems to 
have served him well.  Anything but bitter, he seems interested only in 
moving on.  In a recent interview with USA Today, Curtis said "I'm not 
going to burden myself with 'why me?' Hell, it could happen to anybody.
So how can I be mad?  And mad at what?"  With this healthy attitude, it
should be no surprise to anyone that Curtis has defied all obstacles to
return to the studio and record once again.

His brand new Warner Brothers release, New World Order, is a triumph of
will and spirit, filled with social consciousness and that old Mayfield
vibe.  Unable to sit upright for long periods of time due to painful blood
pressure drops, Curtis recorded his vocal parts in a reclined position,
often needing to sing the songs in short sections.  Easily fatigued due
to his injuries, simply finishing the album was triumph enough.  But New
World Order stands on its own merits as a beautiful and important album.
Joined by Mavis Staples ("Ms. Martha") and Aretha Franklin ("Back To Living
Again"), Curtis and company have made magic once again.

Interviewing the legendary Curtis Mayfield meant a great deal to me, as he
had been such an important part of my musical upbringing.  As a result, I
spent the last few days before the interview working myself into a frenzy
of nerves.  It took the genuinely kind and gracious Mr. Mayfield less than
a minute to put me at ease.  It's comforting to know that the sweet persona
his music suggests is the real thing.  Speaking by phone from his home in
Atlanta, Georgia, he discussed New World Order, the recent Rhino Records 
3-CD compilation (People Get Ready), and a few other topics near and dear to
his heart.  Our time was limited by his hectic interview schedule, so I
wasn't able to ask the approximately three hundred questions I had always 
wanted to ask him.  This will do nicely, though.  Meet the man who commands
the respect to be called Mr. Mayfield, yet inspires the love and recognition
to be known the world over as, simply, Curtis.

            
                        *          *          *
                       

Cosmik: Let's start with the here and now. New World Order is your first 
   album in a long while. What did it feel like to you to be able to get 
   back in the studio?

Curtis: Well, it felt great after I found that the music was going to work
   for me.  And vocally, once I heard myself in the playback, I had no more
   problems.

Cosmik:	How was the recording process different from before the accident?

Curtis: Of course, prior to my accident, I had a diaphragm and my lungs were
   strong, and I could stand up and belt it and get into the tune.  The
   difference now is that I DON'T have a diaphragm and my lungs are quite
   weak.  So I've found a way to lay back and use gravity for my lungs to
   help me be stronger in the recording studio.

Cosmik: How long at a stretch are you able to sing like that?

Curtis: Surprisingly, sometimes I'd be in the studio still five to six
   hours, so I just felt like once I got started, let's get it on, you
   know?

Cosmik: That's fantastic.  So you adjusted to the process pretty quickly.

Curtis: Yes sir, we did, and I felt pretty good about it.  The songs were
   working pretty good for me, and of course the only difference was that
   sometimes I would maybe have to punch in at the latter part of the lyric
   so I could be just as strong at the end as I was in the beginning part.
   And that's nothing unusual when recording.  The importance, of course,
   was to still continue the sincerity and the honesty throughout the track.

Cosmik: My feeling, listening to the album, is that if I hadn't known the 
   story of what happened to you, I wouldn't have been able to tell there
   was any difference.  Your singing is beautiful, the writing's beautiful,
   everything seems perfect.  Were you surprised, yourself, at how it all
   came out?

Curtis: Well, I was certainly pleased with the turn out, and of course, I
   had tried to get into the studio before, coming out of the hospital, and
   I found that it was hard for me to sit up and perform as I used to.  But
   the importance was finding and learning my limitations.  And after 
   understanding what I'd have to do, it wasn't as tough as it might seem.

Cosmik: How did not being able to play guitar change your writing process?
   What did you have to do to make the writing process work for you?

Curtis: Well, you know, that is very tough--and I still mourn not having my
   guitar.  However, there are so many of the young producers who have kind
   of kept my sound, like Organized Noise... I have used, from time to time,
   the guitarists that used to play with me.  The only difference was, of
   course, in my writing--my own chord structure and my voicings, as I might
   hear it in my own head, sometimes may not be there.  But many of the new
   producers, such as Narada Michael Walden, and all the people that work with
   me, they seem to have a pretty good feel for what Curtis might be about.

Cosmik: So much of your music has a great groove.  When you have a groove
   in your head, do you find that you can relate it to the producers or
   musicians you're working with?

Curtis: Well, it's hard, but once we get in the studio, if there's anything
   I feel that I need, I find a way to interpret it and get it across.

Cosmik: I want to ask about the songs on New World Order.  First of all, was
   there really a Ms. Martha?

Curtis: Oh, there's a LOT of Ms. Martha's, I believe.  I've known a Ms.
   Martha during my young childhood, and I've known a Ms. Martha... I mean,
   not the same name, but the LADY that we describe in the song... I've 
   known this woman probably all my life in many ways and in many towns.
   I think there's a Ms. Martha, probably, in many a young folks' life.

Cosmik: A positive role model.

Curtis: I'd like to think so.  That lady that don't say too much, but it 
   seems like when you're playing and when you're around her, you seem
   to want to get your act together.

Cosmik: "A Little Bit Of Love" has a classic Curtis Mayfield groove.  Did 
   you come up with that music?

Curtis: This particular song, with the help of Raimundo Thomas...we call him
   Ray...He came up with a lot of the feel, and once he came up with the feel,
   I helped him, lyrically.  When it came to production, I decided I wanted
   an upright bass on there...and things of that sort.

Cosmik: Your son did a great rap on that track.  How did it feel to record
   with Blaise?

Curtis: Oh, it felt great!  Actually, I was on the way to the studio and I
   just grabbed him up.  He didn't even know he was going.  This was the 
   first time in the studio for Blaise.

Cosmik: Does he have the desire to keep going with it?

Curtis: Well, he's always been a heavy rapper, so I thought I'd make use of
   it.  However, it's kind of hard.  He's still a youngster, and it's kind
   of hard to say just where he wants to be, as to his own personal career.

Cosmik: He sure sounds like he was born to it.  It was an excellent rap.

Curtis: Well, thank you.  I'll certainly relate that to him.

Cosmik: Why did you decide to redo "We People Who Are Darker Than Blue?"

Curtis: I felt it was important to continue to say it.  We did it twenty
   years ago...maybe twenty four years ago... and unfortunately, it's 
   something that still needs to be said today.

Cosmik: Are you somewhat surprised to see that racial tension has survived
   the era of diversity education, affirmative action, and supposed
   enlightenment?
 
Curtis: Well, I suppose I just might be, in ways.  However, a lot of the 
   racial tension is more of a surface thing that has always been played
   with the corporations and the people higher on the totem pole, in my
   opinion.  And it'll probably always be used, here and there, when the
   higher-ups want to do something else, and they don't want the poor
   blacks--OR the poor whites--to see what they're doing.

Cosmik: So many of your songs were songs of empowerment...songs with a
   positive message.  Do you think that need is being filled today in 
   popular music?

Curtis: Well, I'd like to think so.  It's my signature, anyway, to always
   speak on something, hopefully, that might be inspiring, or in depth as
   a love song, or just to lend an ear for food for thought in general.

Cosmik: I want to backtrack just a bit here... I thought the talk box in 
   "We People Who Are Darker Than Blue" was extremely effective.  Are those
   all vocal parts, or are there guitar parts mixed in?

Curtis: No, those are all vocals.  That's Roger Troutman.  He wanted to do
   this particular track again, and that's Roger with his many different 
   voices doing his thing.

Cosmik: Which track was the most satisfying for you?

Curtis: That's hard to say.  While I like them all, if I had to favor any
   particular one...gosh...I like the Organized Noise..."Here But I'm Gone,"
   and of course I like "Ms. Martha."  Gosh, like I say, I guess I like them
   all.  I like "New World Order..."
   
Cosmik: That's a beautiful track.

Curtis: And "Back To Living Again."  Well, I also like the Daryl Simmons.
   I suppose if I had to favor one, the way Daryl Simmons put the track 
   together.  We wrote the song together. "You Don't Have To Cry."

Cosmik: Let me ask you about the Rhino box.  I'm the proud owner of one of
   those.  How much input did you have into that project?

Curtis: Oh, gosh, I was pleased with it, too.  A lot of those things were
   cut down to put 51 tracks in there, but it was well put together, and 
   they allowed me to put in my two cents here and there to make sure it 
   was correct.  I was very pleased with it, personally.

Cosmik: Was that the first time you had heard some of those songs in a long
   time?

Curtis: Well, yes and no.  I have all of those old albums, and I have them
   on DAT.  I owned many of the tracks myself, as Curtom Records, and of
   course Warner Brothers has always allowed me to lease many of their tracks
   out.  And MCA, who owns many of the early era Impressions tracks... they're
   pretty close, too, so I hear them quite regularly.

Cosmik: I'm a liner note fanatic, and the Rhino booklet was very interesting.
   The listing of musicians in the back didn't seem to have anybody listed
   from the Superfly era, though.

Curtis: Oh, didn't they?

Cosmik: Didn't seem to.  I've gone over it a couple times to see if I missed
   something, but I just don't see it.  Superfly's listed as "K," and there
   aren't any musicians names with "K" next to them, at least that I can find.

Curtis: Ooooh, we blew it, then.

Cosmik: Who were some of the players that worked with you in that era?

[Curtis asks his assistant to bring him a Superfly CD from the music shelf.]

Curtis: I'll be able to tell you in a few seconds.  Of course, I always used
   my basic rhythm section, which was...Joseph "Lucky" Scott...but let me
   get the liner notes so I can get you the actual people there...

Cosmik: I appreciate that.

[Curtis and his assistant talk for a moment.]

Curtis: Okay, let's see what we have here.  Uh...you know what?  Even on the
   CD, it doesn't show everybody.  

[Curtis' assistant brings him an original release LP of Superfly.]

Curtis: Okay, we might have a little more here.  Hmmm...You know what?  We
   do not have all the musicians on this album, I'm sorry to say.  But it
   was Joseph "Lucky" Scott... I used Phillip Upchurch on many of them.
   Of course I played guitar myself, Phillip played guitar, Joseph played
   bass... Gosh, we used a lot of strings and horns that I just could never
   remember.

Cosmik: Oh yeah, it was a large section!

Curtis: Zob [name may be incorrect--the word was very quiet on the interview
   tape - Ed.] was the drummer of some of the tracks, and then I also used 
   Tyrone McCullen--He also played drums on a few of the tracks.  And of 
   course I used Johnny Pate as the arranger.

Cosmik: Do you remember when you did "Beautiful Brother Of Mine," that 
   great distorted bass line... Was that something you came up with, or 
   was it something the bass player came up with?

Curtis.  Oh yeah!  That was mine.

Cosmik: That was a GREAT sound!

Curtis: Well, thank you so kindly.  All of that is in the Rhino 3-CD album.

Cosmik: I saw a news clipping about you recently.  It was about The 
   Impressions receiving a lifetime achievement award from Drew Medical
   School.

Curtis: Oh yes!  As a matter of fact, I just talked with Mr. Roland, who
   put that all together.  That was very nice.  I got a chance to see 
   Martin Luther King the 3rd, and a lot of beautiful people were there,
   and they were very nice to myself and the Impressions.

Cosmik: What was the award for, exactly?

Curtis: Well, they were honoring myself and the Impressions as to all the
   music that we made tribute to over the years, and of course many of my
   songs being of inspirational value...songs like "Keep On Pushing" and
   "We People Who Are Darker Than Blue."  Many of my songs were of that 
   type of evaluation.  A lot of people, back during those years, made use
   of those songs and they would sing them when they were trying to move
   into areas of equality.

Cosmik: How long had it been since you had seen the other Impressions?

Curtis: Oh, I think the last time I saw them WAS the Drew...

Cosmik: I mean before that.

Curtis: Prior to that, they were working here, and I'd seen them about two
   or three weeks prior to the Drew... the honoring of that particular thing
   was, I think, October 5th, and I'd seen The Impressions a couple of weeks
   prior to that.

Cosmik: So have you remained close with them?

Curtis: Oh, yeah.  I try to see them every chance I get, and of course, I
   talk to them quite often.

Cosmik: Were the Impressions years some good times for you?

Curtis: Oh, yes, definitely.  I mean, I was a kid.  I was the youngest of 
   the fellas.  The Impressions, being made up of Fred Cash, Samuel Goodman,
   Jerry Butler... we go way back. 

Cosmik: All the way back to The Roosters, huh?

Curtis: They were good people.  They'll always been in my life.

Cosmik: You know, Rhino just came out with that Doo Wop box...Doo Wop II.
   I was hoping to see The Roosters on that.

Curtis: Oh, the Doo Wop box?  That takes you back with a lot of the original
   doo wop songs.  I've always been a quartet fan, you know?  I love my
   quartets.  

Cosmik: Well, now that you've gone back into the studio, are you comfortable
   enough with the new process that you might go back in again soon?
   
Curtis: Well, I'm comfortable enough, and of course at my age and during
   these times, it's very interesting just to watch and see what happens.
   But it's very important to me.  This is still a business, and of course
   I'd like to see it earn revenue for all that have invested.  That's very
   important to me.  If it proves that people still want the product, then
   I'll be happy to get back in the studio and do more.



---------------------------------------------------------------------------

A MODERN COLLABORATION: Vai Meets Thome (Part II)
Interviewed by Paul Remington
				    
In part one of our interview with guitarist Steve Vai and conductor Joel 
Thome we discussed the art of the orchestra, composition, and their
late-September collaboration with the Kilbourn Orchestra at the Eastman
School of Music in Rochester, NY. A unique blend of orchestral music with
rock ensemble, Vai and Thome are on the forefront of this form of 
collaboration, and like Lewis and Clark, are exploring previously uncharted
territory. The result is surprisingly fresh, with Vai's compositional ideas
molded for orchestra with the support of Thome. Their combined experience
composing and working with orchestras provides an educated common ground
for the crossing of two distinctly different musical genres. Their 
collaboration is unlike any other collaboration that has utilized this form
of instrumentation.

At the heart of Vai and Thome's musical background is their association with
Frank Zappa. Zappa was a true pioneer of 20th Century composition. He 
liberally utilized classical, jazz, rock, and many other musical elements
in a surprisingly unique and natural way. Zappa's influence left an 
indelible mark on Vai and Thome. During our conversation, neither could
resist talking about Zappa, and how he changed the way they approach music.
In many respects, Zappa's influence was a major factor behind Vai and 
Thome's collaboration.

In part two of our conversation we dive deeper into the subject of Frank 
Zappa, the ground-breaking concepts he was exploring prior to his death, as
well as a few humorous and fond memories shared from their friendship with
this 20th Century genius. Zappa is no longer with us, but the influence of
his music and talent continues to have a profound effect on today's music,
as can be seen with the modern collaboration of Vai and Thome. This aspect
of Vai's career may not be making headlines at the moment, but fans of Vai
should take note: he has every intention to continue his collaboration with 
Thome, and to perform orchestral concerts internationally. 

The logistics of mounting a project like this are immense, and the threat of
financial loss due to lack of interest poses a real concern for those 
providing financial backing to execute such a project. Both Vai and Thome 
recognize this, and have discovered there is a built-in audience for this
type of music. This is the motivation behind their continued collaboration.
With talk of completing an orchestral score of Zappa's Greggery Peccary 
based on Zappa's original transcripts, working together with different
orchestras, and releasing recorded material of their collaboration, we can
only stand to gain from their musical exploration. From a musical standpoint,
they are defining a form of music that is a hybrid cross between classical 
and rock. Time will tell if others explore this form of collaboration. Time
will tell.

		          
                         *         *         *


Cosmik: I have to give you a hello from Mike Keneally.

Vai: He's in my band!

Cosmik: Of course he is. We keep in contact from time to time. I mentioned I
   was going to be interviewing you, and he said to say hello. Now, how did 
   you settle on Mike? I can see it being a natural selection, but I want to
   hear it from you.

Vai: Well, he's really talented, you know, and I needed someone that could 
   play guitar and keyboards, and play all the right notes. It's hard to
   find somebody that can play the guitar and play that stuff properly - and
   keyboards at the same time, because I didn't want to bring two extra guys
   out. And Mike's a very naturally gifted musician, besides being an 
   intellectual monster, you know? And I figured I'd give it a try, and I
   gave him a call, and at first he was like, "Ummm . . . I don't know." 
   And then he called me back and said, "Yeah, I'd love to."

Cosmik: I wonder what the "I don't know" was all about? 

Vai: What had happened was, he was focusing on his own music, and he had
   made commitments to people, and it was hard for him to break those
   commitments because he was joining my band.

Cosmik: Have you had any collaboration with Mike prior to asking him to join
   your band?

Vai: No.

Cosmik: I assume you had talked previously, but you had never gigged with him,
   is that right?

Vai: I never gigged with Mike, but I knew of his stuff. I knew how talented
   he was.

Cosmik: Have you ever seen him perform Inca Roads, where he has the right hand
   playing lines on the keyboard, and the left comping chords on the guitar?
   [Laughs] It's bizarre - It's wild!

Vai: [Laughs] I've got him doing some of that stuff in our band. Yeah.

Thome: I did a setting for orchestra on Inca Roads, and he plays on that.
   He's also on our recording of Zappa's Universe. Then we did a tribute to
   Frank at Avery Fischer Hall in February of 1993, and it was a tribute to
   Varese and Zappa. 

Cosmik: The support for Frank seems to be growing, especially his orchestral
   music.

Vai: It's not gonna stop.

Cosmik: Yeah, that brings up another issue: It seems to me as though Frank 
   would have concerns as to whether or not there would be lasting value to
   his music. One-hundred years from now would people know who Frank Zappa
   was, and would they even care?

Vai: He didn't care.

Cosmik: He didn't.

Vai: Nope. If you ask Frank what would he like to be remembered for after
   he's dead, he'd say, "Nothing."

Thome: Yeah, in fact, somebody asked him that. I remember Carol [Sorell,
   Vai's publicist] booked him on the Today Show.

Vai: He said wanting to be remembered was for politicians and . . . what did
   he say, politicians and somebody else. Rock stars, or something. [Laughs]
   
Cosmik: Towards the end of Frank's life, when he knew he was dying, he 
   centered on the music he loved the most. He devoted all his time to the
   Synclavier, working with the Ensemble Modern, which produced, in my 
   opinion, some of his greatest works. Do you think it really may have
   crossed his mind, hey - I really want to put something down that is as
   masterful as I can create for lasting value. Now, I know he said he 
   didn't care, but his actions towards the end appeared that he might have.
   What do you think?

Vai: I don't know. I just think that he saw himself as a storehouse of 
   creativity and he just wanted to get as much out as he could.

Thome: Also, you did not hear what he actually planned for the concert in
   Germany. Nobody ever heard that. What he was planning was very different.
   
Cosmik: Oh, is that right?

Thome: Very different.

Cosmik: Can you explain?

Thome: I can tell you calls and discussions we had in the middle of the night
   over a period of time. He was talking about the music he was working on
   and that he wanted to prepare for that. Some of it included three 
   dimensional manipulation of acoustical space, and installation ideas that
   he had. He was interested in installing the music in a space and letting
   it sit there for a while, and also working with the way the music would 
   reverberate in the acoustical space. That's what he was actually working 
   on, and it just didn't come to fruition.

Vai: You know how much material he has released, right? It's probably about
   4% of what he has. He went through this period that he was doing six 
   track mixes of his music. And you'd sit in the basement, and you'd have
   six speakers - independent. Not this Dolby extracting overtones and out
   of phase stuff that movies do, you know. Independent, six track channel 
   separation. The Yellow Shark - that whole concert was constructed around 
   that concept. I went to Austria and saw three of the performances.

Cosmik: Oh, you did?

Vai: Yes, I did. And, I've never heard anything like it because you have
   this Ensemble Modern on the stage, and the way that he wrote the 
   music - the dynamics - and the way he had the speakers setup, and the 
   way that the instruments speak, the dynamics of the instruments would 
   reach certain areas of the room, when the speakers would kick in. For 
   instance, I sat in a different place for each concert. It was a 
   completely different three dimensional audio experience each time. First
   of all, concert halls don't setup speakers like that, normally, and he 
   had this done special. I remember several times where I'd watch, and the
   guitar player was picking, and the dynamics were really soft and then 
   really hard, and it was fast picking, like this. And, as he did this, 
   the sound went [motions movement from front to back] like this. Because
   the pick had a certain dynamic and when it got soft, it was over here 
   [gesturing behind him], and then when it got hard it was from the stage.
   And the same thing with the trombones, and he had some other instruments
   that were very sharp, and the way the strings would play, certain ways 
   the bows would hit the instrument would create sounds from the speakers
   rather than the stage. And, you just sit there and you realize that 
   you're witnessing history, and that it's a secret. [Smiles]

Cosmik: And that never came out on the recording. You can't capture that.

Vai: How many people have six track stereos? How many people could sit in 
   this acoustically built room with this, you know . . . it wasn't just
   where the speakers were placed, Frank placed the musicians! Nobody 
   realized the depths he was thinking.

Thome: And, also the compositional ideas he was working on were very 
   different. I don't know all the reasons for their not emerging at that 
   time, but when he would call me late at night he'd be talking about the
   compositional ideas he was working on, and I think probably there just
   wasn't the time to get that together, because the compositional ideas 
   were pretty staggering. They were really exciting.

Cosmik: It was beyond what he did produce?

Thome: It was very different, yeah.

Vai: You can hear it in Civilization Phaze III and the Yellow Shark, and 
   stuff like that. It is absolutely . . . I mean, you hear that word 
   "unique" so often in every bio, in every press release. But, the
   definition of the word is in his music.

Cosmik: I've never heard anything like Civilization Phaze III. It blew me 
   away!

Vai: Nobody's doing it.

Cosmik: Nobody can! I firmly believe nobody can do that. Nobody can. It's
   pure Zappa. I don't think we'll hear anything quite like that again.

Vai: Uh-huh.

Thome: I was invited to Cuba to conduct the National Symphony of Cuba's
   opening for the International Festival of New Music. Composers and a
   conductors come from all over the world. I was the first
   conductor/composer from the United States to be invited for a long time,
   of course. I remember it was at the time when the Russians were leaving,
   and Frank and I were working on Zappa's Universe. I said, "I'm going to 
   Havana, and I want to do Sad Jane." He loved the idea, and said "Well,
   do you think I could go too?" I said, "I think you could go. I think it
   would be a great idea." He said, "Okay, I want to take the Synclavier."
   [Laughs] "Do you think they would get it on the plane for us?" I said, 
   "Yeah, I think it would be great." In Cuba they have a computer music 
   studio that runs 24 hours a day. So, there are a lot of composers doing
   electronic music there. They were very excited about that. Then his
   health began to deteriorate, and it wasn't possible. He was going to get
   that Synclavier on that plane no matter what.

Cosmik: He wanted it.

Thome: Yeah.

Vai: He called me, and he had put together a concert with the Ensemble
   Modern and a rock band. Actually, it was probably going to be the closest
   thing to what we're doing.

Cosmik: When was this?

Vai: This was right before he fell fatally ill. And we talked about it, and 
   we got it together, and we got together with the . . . uh, Hans? [Looks 
   towards Thome]

Thome: Yeah. 

Vai: The orchestra master. And it was all of Frank's hardest music. He was
   giving me the melodies. I mean, like Mo 'N Herb's Vacation, and the Black
   Page, the Sinister Footwear movements. It was me, Terry Bozzio, and we
   were still discussing who the bass player was going to be. It was going
   to be with this 30 or 40 piece orchestra, and Frank was really excited
   about that. That was, I think, the last thing he tried to put together,
   and then, you know, he had a down-slope. That would have been my dream, 
   to play that music with that orchestra, or one of them. It's just such
   a . . . I wouldn't write that music for myself. It's way too complicated,
   you know?

Cosmik: Yeah. The Ensemble Modern seemed to be a perfect choice.

Vai: Yeah.

Cosmik: I went and saw them at Penn State last April. When I walked
   backstage and they brought me onstage, they were performing Zappa's
   music, and in many respects you're right, Steve. It's such a different 
   experience when you're really there and you can hear it live rather
   than having two speakers in front of you. It takes on a whole different
   flavor, a whole different feel.

Vai: Yeah.

Cosmik: There's one thing I wanted to ask you, Joel. It almost seems a
   matter of philosophy, regarding amplifying orchestras. What is your take
   on that? I mean, the Philadelphia Orchestra had that famous Philadelphia
   sound where they would do things like tune down the violins slightly,
   and experiment with things to play with their sound. While that form 
   of manipulation is acceptable, amplifying an orchestra is a taboo thing
   to some.

Thome: I have a lot of feelings about that.

Vai: I turn up my amp, boy. [Laughter]

Cosmik: [Laughs] Well, you play an amplified instrument.

Thome: I've had a couple of experiences that I think would help put a little
   light on that. One is that the Philadelphia sound happened because of one 
   person, and that was Leapold Stokowski.

Cosmik: Right, yeah.

Thome: That was the Philadelphia sound.

Cosmik: Well, yeah . . . it was his ideas in sound experiments. He re-placed
   people and moved people around.

Thome: He was absolutely brilliant! He moved people around - the whole thing.
   That's what I mean. He had the genius to hear that sound and to be that
   sound, and the Philadelphia Orchestra became his instrument. But the
   sound was within Stokowski. He had the ears, the brilliance, the genius
   to make it happen. There's a couple of other things: one is that, today,
   even with all of the knowledge of acoustics that we have, it's hard to 
   find a hall like Eastman Theater, which has incredible acoustics. Now, 
   because of the acoustical problems in halls around the country, there has
   to be some form of acoustic blending electronically, even with acoustic
   music. I mean, you find it in so many halls. There's some kind of acoustic
   amplification to enhance the acoustics of halls. The third thing is an
   experience that Frank and I had when we did the tribute to Edgar Varese.
   He decided it should be at the Palladium, and we'd been thinking about
   other spaces . . . other acoustical spaces. And he said, "When we do it 
   at the Palladium, we're going to amplify your orchestra [Thome's 
   Orchestra of Our Time], and I'm gonna bring my engineer in to do that."
   He brought the engineer in, it was Bob Stone, and he amplified the
   orchestra. The engineer I was using to make the tape is one of the best
   classical engineers in the world. He does Deutsche Grammophone, Nonesuch,
   does all this stuff . . . he did the Marlboro series, when Rudy Serkin
   was there. So, he did all of those, and he said, "My God, how can you
   amplify the instruments!" I said, "You wait, you wait. Frank knows 
   exactly what's going to happen."

Cosmik: Part of an orchestra's sound is defined by the dynamics of the
   musicians themselves.

Thome: Right.

Cosmik: If you place microphones in front of them, doesn't that strip away
   their attention to dynamics?

Vai: Not if you have good microphones.

Thome: Right. That's right. If you have good microphones, you don't have to 
   be concerned about that.

Cosmik: The dynamics are decided by the conductor, isn't that right?

Thome: Yeah.

Cosmik: If you add the mikes, you have a guy behind the board making 
   decisions on sound levels and dynamics.

Vai: Well, the guy behind the board just makes it overall louder.

Cosmik: Doesn't that alter the natural dynamics you may have without the 
   amplification itself?

Vai: Yes, absolutely.

Cosmik: So, it does come down to philosophy.

Vai: Well, I mean, there are different ways of thinking about it. If you're
   going to sit and watch a concert, like at Eastman, without any 
   amplification, you'll hear everything, yeah, and it'll be dynamic. But, 
   if you have proper amplification and proper miking and stereo span, if
   the engineer knows what he's doing, you'll get dynamics. If the violin
   player is going [sings a soft note], it's going to come through the PA 
   like this [sings similar soft note]. But if he's going [sings loud and
   distorted note], then it's going to come through the PA like that.

Thome: Yeah.

Vai: It's probably more dynamic.

Thome: We have an excellent engineer that's used to working with orchestras.
   I mean, he's worked with orchestras all over the world, and he's done a 
   lot of rock concerts. He was an engineer for Frank at one point. He did
   the European tour with Frank. His name is Ron Lorman. He was also Miles'
   [Davis] engineer for a long time. He's done everything from small groups
   to engineering for Frank, to engineering orchestras all over the world.
   So, he's used to coming in and working with orchestras and rock group, 
   together. So, he's extremely sensitive to that. He's got great ears. He 
   was a percussionist, which means he's a genius, right? [Laughter - Thome
   is a percussionist]

Vai: No, it means he's crazy! [Laughter]

Thome: Crazy genius. No, he's a really wonderful engineer.

Cosmik: Do you have any aspirations to record some of what you're doing now?

Thome: We certainly do.

Cosmik: With Steve?

Thome: Oh yeah.

Vai: We were gonna record this, but it was the first time, and we want to
   get all the bugs out of the music. We want to do more performances.

Cosmik: Is this the first time you've played fronting an orchestra?

Vai: No, I've done it with Joel a couple of times.

Cosmik: I know you worked with Joel on Zappa's Universe.

Thome: We've also done performances with the Seattle Symphony.

Cosmik: Oh, is that right? How did that go? Were you pleased with the 
   results?

Vai: Yeah, it was very simple for me. I played about three Frank songs, and
   I knew the melodies.

Cosmik: Yeah, well, you know all those anyway.

Vai: [Laughs] I got up there, and having a singing guitar with the strength
   of an orchestra in the back of you is really wonderful.

Cosmik: I think Gil Evans wanted to do that with Jimi Hendrix and a big 
   band. They actually sat at a table and signed on it, and Jimi died, so
   they never did it. But, Gil did release an album of Jimi's work as they
   had planned, minus Jimi. I don't know how effective that collaboration
   would have been, but the concept was there, and it's similar to the
   concept the two of you are kicking around.

Thome: What makes our collaboration different is that sometimes you have 
   orchestra and performer, and the performer goes around to different 
   orchestras, and the conductor goes around with different performers, etc.
   This is a collaboration between two composer/performers with orchestra,
   where you have a phenomenal performer/guitarist who's also an extraordinary
   composer, and you have a conductor/composer, and they're doing something
   which, together, they take around to orchestras in various locations.

Vai: It's a dynamic duo.

Thome: It's a dynamic duo. You could get into this whole thing, like, "We 
   have to get this together and take it on the road?" Well, no, it's 
   vaudeville.

Vai: We only have to take the two of us.

Thome: That's right. [Laughs]

Vai: And the wives, of course.

Thome: I would also like to acknowledge the fact that we have two wonderful 
   performers with us, Mike Mangini the drummer, and Phil Bynoe the bass
   player. And, they're two people who really understand what we're doing.
   Phil was also a cellist who comes from a family of string players. His
   father is a bass player, his mother was a pianist, he's a cellist, and
   it goes on and on through his whole family. So, he understands this kind
   of marriage. Mike Mangini, the drummer, is such a terrific performer as
   well, and he totally understands this kind of marriage. So, you have
   people who understand . . .

Vai: And are very dedicated.

Thome: . . . and are very dedicated to what you are doing.

Cosmik: What do you plan to be doing 20 years from now, Steve? Do you plan
   to continue working with orchestras?

Vai: Well, I hope to be exploring different realms. This is scratching the
   surface, really, with some of the things I'd like to be contributing to
   the music scene. But, my influence with Frank . . . the things that I do 
   in rock and roll right now, I do because I'm young. I say to myself,
   should I do this kind of a record right now, or should I do that kind
   of a record, because I'd like to do them both. And I say, do this kind
   because you can still go out on tour and do it, and they'll still put 
   you on the magazines and whatever. So, I do that stuff now. But, you 
   know, I've got some different things that I'd like to work on in the
   future, but we'll see.

Cosmik: I respect your devotion to Frank. It seems people who have worked
   with him, universally, have this respect for him that I don't see with 
   other musicians.

Vai: Frank was walking poetry.

Thome: Yeah.

Vai: And, if you knew how to read it, you really savored it.

Cosmik: One of my favorite solos of yours while with Frank was on Ya Hozna.
   That solo blew me away!

Vai: [Smiles widely] Ahhhhh, Ya Hozna! We did that at a soundcheck at Italy.

Cosmik: Is that where that's recorded? I mean, the solo itself?

Vai: Yeah. He pointed at me. See, he would do this thing where he'd point,
   and he'd just say, "Go!" And, I just improvised that solo. The original
   track for Ya Hozna is different than what's on tape now. I have tapes of
   that with the original background.

Cosmik: How did the original version differ from what was released?

Vai: He just re-recorded a rhythm section. He changed the drums and the bass.
   It was similar. I don't know why he re-recorded it.

Cosmik: He never released that version.

Vai: No. And, a lot of the backwards singing is [sings], "You're a dirty
   little girl, and your mommy and your daddy don't care." He put Moon on
   there also. You know what the beginning part of Ya Hozna is in reverse?
   It's Sofa.

Cosmik: Yeah, that's right. The Zappa newsgroup FAQ has a reverse transcription
   of the song.

Thome: There's an unbelievable story behind Ya Hozna: Mats Oberg could do
   that, and that was Frank's idea. Again, we were talking about arranging
   stuff for Zappa's Universe. Frank said, "I believe Mats could do Ya Hozna."
   [Pause] I said, "What!" He said, "I believe Mats can do it." I called 
   Mats in Sweden, and over the phone he did Ya Hozna so it sounded exactly 
   like the backwards vocal tracks with all the inflections, like the tape 
   recorder was running . . .

Cosmik: Oh my God!

Vai: He did?!

Cosmik: That's unbelievable!

Thome: It's unbelievable.

Vai: This guy, you never hear him talk - he's blind, and he's an incredible
   keyboard player.

Cosmik: I could never understand how Frank conceived that piece. I mean,
   when you listen to it, towards the end, it almost has a lyrical quality.
   Some of the backwards singing slows down and becomes melodic. It's right
   before your solo begins.

Vai: Yeah, he took pieces from all over for that. 

Cosmik: What blows me away is, how did he know how to piece it together to
   create such an effective piece?

Vai: He was a chemist. He was a musical chemist. He'd sit in his little 
   Utility Muffin Research Kitchen, and he'd sit there and he'd laugh, and
   he'd throw this stuff together and he'd call to you, "Oh, come on down 
   and listen to this." [Laughter]

Cosmik: It's brilliant - it's genius.

Vai: If you were walking by the house, he would drag you in and sit you down
   for nine hours and play you stuff [Looks to Thome], right?

Thome: That's right, nine hours at a stretch. You'd just sit there and 
   listen . . . just sit there and listen.

Cosmik: God damn . . . had he only lived . . . to hear what else he could
   have accomplished.

Vai: You know what's really funny - well, not really funny - what's ironic
   is that composers of that stature really start hitting their prime when
   they're about 50.

Cosmik: Yeah . . .

Thome: Yeah.

Cosmik: . . . that's right.

Vai: From the age of 50 to 70 is when they come out with their most masterful
   works. Can you imagine . . . can you just imagine! I mean, think of 
   Civilization Phaze III, and think of what Frank would have been doing in
   20 years from now.

Cosmik: Oh yeah. He only had about 10 years with the Synclavier, really.

Vai: Yeah, well, Frank would have been on that Synclavier, and if something
   else came along, he would have thrown it away, and went to something else.

Thome: You know there's also a funny story about Valley Girl - one night
   Frank calls up Carol [Sorell, Steve's publicist] and says, "I just did
   this thing with Moon called Valley Girl. Could you please take it and see
   what you can do with it, you know, get it out there, etc.?"

Vai: Oh, it became a big hit.

Thome: So, he calls back two weeks later and says "I don't know what 
   happened to this one, but it really took off." [Laughs]

Vai: Oh really, she put it out?

Thome: Yeah, yeah. He wanted her to put it out, but while they were putting 
   it together the thing just took off on its own. So, he calls me back and
   says, "I think I just found a way to send Moon to college."

[Laughter]

Vai: Yeah, well, Frank, he does a lot of things, and then he doesn't. He had
   that record out there and he didn't release a single.

Thome: Oh, is that what happened?

Vai: Yeah.

Cosmik: I'm looking forward to hearing the musical output of the G3 tour. Do
   you have any plans of recording the tour?

Vai: Yeah, we're planning on recording it.

Cosmik: Is it going to be a double CD?

Vai: I don't know.

Cosmik: Why did you change to a single CD on your current release, Fire
   Garden?

Vai: Because it's too expensive for a Steve Vai double CD.

Cosmik: You switched labels, so I though that might have had something to do
   with it.

Vai: Well, to get a record company to release a double CD is really hard.
   It's expensive. It's more expensive to the fans, so you sell less, so 
   the record company doesn't like it. It's more expensive for the record
   company because there's more music and they have to pay you more. It's 
   a logistic nightmare. And, for me, I would release a triple CD. I'd love
   to.

Cosmik: I'd buy it.

[Laughter]

Vai: [Smiles] Thank you. I have to conform now, I have no choice. Well, I 
   have a choice. It's either that or don't get my music released.

Cosmik: You changed the name of the CD two or three times.

[Quiet laughter from someone in the room. Vai looks shyly at the person]

Vai: Yes . . . I did.

Cosmik: Why?

Vai: Because, as the music evolved, the concept evolved, and the title I had
   just didn't seem to work.

Cosmik: Now, why isn't the concept inside the CD? I mean, when I opened it
   up, I never knew there was a concept to it until I heard you mention it
   on the radio.

Vai: Well, if you're interested in that kind of stuff, you got to fish for 
   it.

Cosmik: [Laughs] There you go . . . make us think.

Vai: You got to get on the Web site [http://www.vai.com/], and get a copy 
   of the script, and you got to click on the little icons, and you got to
   read interviews.

Cosmik: Do you have the screenplay up anywhere? Do you plan on doing
   anything with it?

Vai: Well, somebody bought it already. They're trying to make it into a film,
   but it's very expensive. And, they want me to star in it, and I'm not an
   accountable quantity for movie people. But, they're working on it, and 
   we'll see what happens.

Cosmik: There's more stuff to come.

Vai: That's right.



---------------------------------------------------------------------------

JACKING IN TO THE PUNK TRADITION: Cosmik Debris meets Down By Law
Interview By Shaun Dale (with DJ Johnson)


I won't pretend that it was without trepidation that I approached the
doors of RKCNDY, an all ages music club in downtown Seattle.  The last
member of my family to attend a show there was fourteen, and I was more
likely to run into her peers than mine at this show.  But I was glad for
the chance to see the band whose new disc, "All Scratched Up," had spent
more time in my player than any new punk release in a good many years.

I also had the encouraging company of Cozmik Editor-In-Chief D.J.
Johnson, who is *almost* as old as I am, and at least twice as old as
the typical RKCNDY customer.

Any reservations I had dissolved quickly once we got to the 12x12 room
crowded with ice chests and old couches that was serving as dressing
room for all three bands on the evening's bill (Down By Law played
between Canadian newcomers Pluto and local heroes Gas Huffer).  Seated
at the far end of the room were lead guitar player Sam Williams III and
bassman Angry John DiMambro.  We settled right into a wide ranging and
generally fascinating conversation that touched on the history of the
band, punk music and the punk audience in the 1990s.



       *                *               *                 *



John: Hi, I'm John and he's Sam...otherwise known as "Angry John..".

Shaun: So how angry are you?

John: Well man, you should have been there last night.

Shaun: Well, hopefully tonight will turn out better.  Both of you have
   songwriting credits on the new album, right?

John: I wrote "Far and Away" with Dave.

Sam: I wrote about a third of the album.

John: Is that thing running?

Shaun: Yeah.

John: Cause I want to know whenever I'm on tape.

Shaun: Well, it's on - don't admit to anything...

John: Don't worry, I'm not gonna vote for Mumbly Joe.

Shaun: How bout that - are you gonna vote at all?

John: I'm gonna try.  I get home that day, so I'll go in there and flip
   a coin between Wingnut and Slick Willy.

Shaun: Wingnut?

John: Yeah.  I call Perot "Wingnut" because his ears are so big he looks
   like a wingnut on the end of a pencil.

Shaun: So Dole's not a factor?

John: No, he's absolutely not a factor at all except for the comedy value.
   The only thing that would be good if he got elected is that all that
   hate would be good for about another ten years of punk rock.  Cause
   Reagan was one of the best things that ever happened to punk music in
   America.

DJ: He made the Dead Kennedys' career...

John: Yeah, Jello really couldn't get behind hating Jerry Brown, but
   when it came to hating Reagan...

Shaun: So how long have you guys been doing this together?

John: I've been in the band for three years.  Sam's been in for four.
   The band's existed for five years.

Shaun: Sam, you live in Florida and the rest of the band is in LA.  Has
   the bi-coastal thing been going on the whole time?

Sam: Yeah.  Actually, even more so.  We had another drummer who played on
   the last album who lived on the east coast, but the drummer we have now,
   Danny, he's on the west coast so everyone but me lives in LA.

Shaun: Were you in LA when you got together with these guys?

Sam: No, never.  I knew about them and I wrote to them and said I'd try out.

John: He wrote a letter saying he could play "Rock You Like a Hurricane"
   like a son of a bitch so they said we have to give this guy a chance.  I
   had nothing to do with that.  I hate him.

Shaun: Well, you're angry. You hate everybody, right?

John: Fuckin A right.

Shaun: Those are basic punk rock credentials - every punk band has to
   have an angry somebody...

John: I'm pretty mild most of the time - unless I'm driving.

Shaun: Your sound is kind of a roots punk thing - a lot of classic punk
   anthem styles.  Who would you want people to think of when they hear
   you?

John: It's kind of like all the bands that influenced us are like that -
   especially Dave.  He listens to, like, Stiff Little Fingers and the
   Clash and a lot of English bands.  That's where those anthem kind of
   tracks come from.

Shaun: Yeah, I thought of the Clash and the Ramones, at least the
   Ramones during a certain period when I actually liked them.

John: We did an in-store at Sam Goody in New York this spring and Joey
   Ramone was there.  It was cool - he liked us and stuff.  I didn't think
   he was real 'cause I'd never heard him talk before.  Even when I saw the
   Ramones he never talks, he just sings one song into the other.  I talked
   to him and he was a standard New York kind of guy.

Shaun: So what's the story behind "True Music" on the new album?  Did
   you guys really make a show biz video that compromised your principles?

Sam: You'd have to talk to Dave about compromising principles, but we
   have made a few videos and the last two have been played on 120 Minutes.
   One of them quite regularly - "Radio Ragga."

John: "Independence Day" is like a minute fifteen seconds long.  US News
   did an article that said the longest and shortest videos ever on MTV
   were Michael Jackson's "Bad" for like 16:23 and Down by Law's "Independence
   Day" for 1:15.

DJ: What kind of reaction has there been to being on MTV - considering a
   lot of people get pissed off if a band gets on MTV...

John: There was one girl who - I don't know if she wrote a letter or
   wrote to the Unofficial Down By Law Homepage or what - but she wrote
   "I hate you guys, you've changed, burn in Hell, sellouts." Like this
   total stupid trash. I think it was off "Independence Day," not even
   "Radio Ragga."  [Ed. Note: The Unofficial Down By Law Homepage is
   located at http://www.undergrad.math.uwaterloo.ca/~sstackho/dbl/dbl.htm]

Shaun: Yeah, you're sellouts - you might be able to buy strings next week
   off the proceeds.

John: Something like that.  Yeah, I'm just rolling in dough right now.
   I don't know what to do with it all.  I think I'll buy a Kit Kat bar.

Shaun: Well, it shows from the spacious and exotic digs here...

John: Yeah, the belly dancers show up any minute.  Where did it say in
   the punk handbook that you had to take a vow of poverty like the Jesuits
   or be a Communist and sleep under a park bench and eat beans and live
   off your parents, you know what I mean?  That's my point - where the
   hell did that come from?  I'm not with that at all.

   And the original punk bands, you know, the Clash were on Epic and the
   Sex Pistols set out absolutely to rob major labels of as much money as
   they could possibly get and did it again this year.

   I don't know where that came from.  I guess the Berkeley Maximum Rock &
   Roll crowd are the ones who wrote that into the manifesto.  So that had
   nothing to do with punk when I got into it in 1980.  Nobody ever thought
   about that stuff - they never thought about "Oh, that band wants a drum
   riser, they're rock stars."  It was never that complicated.  Nobody ever
   thought about it.

DJ: Do you think they get pissed off when too many people start to like
   "their" band - like it's not an exclusive club anymore?

Sam:  That's part of it.  The guy from Offspring - Dexter or whatever -
   made a good point when he said the punk attitude has become really
   elitist - even more so.  It used to be if you had long hair you weren't
   allowed to come to the shows and stuff, but it's even more so now.  It's
   like the people who listen to this music now seem to hate everybody, but
   they don't hate them for the right reasons.  They just look down on
   everybody like they're less intelligent or something.  It's messed up.

Shaun: Well, then, it should be fun for me tonight.  I've been listening
   to punk for over 20 years, which is at least four or five years longer
   than most of these people have been alive.  My daughter said it was cool
   that I was going to RKCNDY and all, but I should be ready for everybody
   to stare at me 'cause I'd be the oldest person in the room.  What kind
   of audiences do you get at shows?

John: Depends on where we are.  We get a lot of the 16-22 year old crowd.
   On the east coast we get a lot of straight edge people mixed in with some
   punks.  We played with Bad Religion at the Palace and that was our crowd
   mixed with their crowd and the reaction was about equal.  Their crowd was
   older - mostly over 21 - so it's mixed across the board.

Shaun: I ask because you have a traditional kind of sound I think would
   appeal to people like me who were there for the early days of punk, which
   is not true of all the bands out there today.

Sam: You're right, it seems like we would appeal to an older audience
   more, but just the fact that we're on Epitaph Records is a factor that
   contributes to our audience being so young.  We're looked at as an
   Epitaph band and lumped in with bands whose crowd is younger, so they
   come to our shows too.

Shaun: One of the elements of that "traditional" sound is some social
   conscience in the music, which used to be prevelant in punk but isn't so
   much any more.  And there's a sense of humor in the music that I really
   appreciate.

John: You've just named all the elements that I know as punk rock.
   When I went to shows in the early eighties hard core and punk was one
   and the same thing, and now some of the punk bands are a lot faster than
   we are - we tend to be, I hate to use the word pop but what is punk but
   fast pop in some ways.

Shaun: Three chords with your foot on the gas...

John: We're a lot more melodic than some of the bands.  We do songs that
   are slower and like that.  I never thought the word traditional would
   apply to punk, but we listen to a lot of bands that are more traditional,
   from the early eighties and stuff.  Now stuff has got this really fast
   galloping beat and the image of the people is significantly different
   than it was when I was going to shows 16 years ago.  The danger element
   has been to some extent removed.  It used to be, when I went to a gig I
   never knew if I'd be coming back home or not.  It was, "Well, let's see
   what happens tonight.  Maybe I'll get home, maybe I won't."  It could be
   the police or somebody waiting for us outside or whatever.

Shaun: My memory of LA in the early days was that one of the most
   adventurous things you could do was go to a Black Flag show - they were
   invariably busted - every show was busted.

John: Yeah, until around the period Rollins joined...

DJ: Are there still scenes reminiscient of that anywhere that you've
   played?  Places where the scene is still more alive than elsewhere?

Sam: Where I live in Tampa the violence is still pretty prevelant.  It's
   not like today where at a live show you may see people shooting each
   other, but it's a lot more like an old punk show 'cause there's always a
   fight.  No matter who plays, there's a always a big fight.  The music
   scene isn't as happening, but when a band comes through it seems to me
   like it's like it was back then.

John: That's totally true in Florida, and in some other places, but the
   one thing we mentioned earlier was humor, and even in the early eighties
   when all this crazy stuff was going down, there was still a sense of
   humor about it.  You know what I mean?  Like, I remember one time this
   bouncer at the Dead Kennedys beat some kid up and like 20 punks just
   surrounded the guy and he started pleading for his life.  They pulled
   his pants down and stuck his head in the toilet - they didn't even beat
   him up, they just totally humiliated him.  It seems kind of sick to say
   it's funny, but it was funny to me back then.

Shaun:  Humor was integral.  The way people were looking and acting. If
   you couldn't laugh at yourself doing that, you had serious emotional
   problems.

John: Exactly.  If you're walking down the street with a green mohawk,
   you've gotta have a sense of humor.

Shaun: No mohawks in this band...

John: No.

DJ: One of your labelmates, Rancid, has gone far with that...

Sam: Yeah, that's how they went...

John: They're a really good band. I listen to their music and I totally
   hear the stuff I listened to before, what I know as punk rock.  They
   look like that, but they back it up, and they were around before.

Shaun: So the band has an unofficial website - is there an official one?

John: No, not yet.

Shaun: And a fan just put one together?

Sam: Yeah, I have a computer and I e-mail the guy back and forth.  His
   name is Shawn and he lives in Canada. He did it on his own and I just
   stumbled onto it, but I help him out with it some now.

Shaun: So you're into the whole internet thing?

John: If I get into it I'll never get out of it.

Shaun: I understand - I'm a junkie myself and as the editor of a webzine
   DJ probably spends 15 hours a day on line.

Sam: I think it's a cool thing.  I really dig it, and I'm kind of hooked
   on it.

DJ: You guys ever listen to ska?  You were talking about Rancid...

John: Yeah, I listen to ska.  I like Rancid's stuff, but that's like
   rock to me.  I like really pure ska, the sixties stuff like Prince
   Walker, and Madness, the Specials - that next wave from the early
   eighties.  I keep going back to the early eighties.

Sam: It seems to me that they've already done pretty much everything that
   can be done with that form of music and the bands that come out today
   just really bore me.  It seems like they just do the same song over and
   over, but that's just my opinion.  I don't listen to anything that came
   out after, like, '84 as far as ska...

Shaun: Of course people say the same thing about punk bands.

Sam: Yeah, that's right.  I should cut some slack because people who don't
   listen to the music say it all sounds the same to them, so that could be
   my problem too.  But what really bothers me is the Ska Corps that people
   have come up with now.  Like, the Bosstones, they're okay, but there are
   about 30 bands trying to do the same thing - mix melodic punk and ska
   and it's so unoriginal sounding to me.

Shaun: So there have been a lot of personnel changes in the band since
   the beginning.  How has the sound developed?

Sam: There are different songwriters in the band now.  Dave's really the
   only guy who's been in the band for the first and last albums and
   there's new writers now and Dave's writing has changed.  I think it's
   definitely more advanced than the first album.

Shaun: Did you write "Gruesome Gary" or is that one of Dave's?

Sam: That's Dave's.

Shaun: Is he a real guy?  Would he know himself if he heard that song?

Sam: No, I think Dave made him up as a universal bully.

Shaun: Well, I think I knew that guy...

John: Yeah, I remember when I cut my hair and I went to school the next
   day, 'cause the day before I had really long hair and a Led Zeppelin
   t-shirt and the next day I had an anarchy shirt and my head was shaved.
   All my stoner friends pretended they didn't know me.  I had a baseball
   cap on when I got there, and a flannel shirt, and flair bottoms over my
   boots.  I went to the bathroom and threw the cap in the garbage, tucked
   in my pants and opened my shirt to show the big circle-A on my t-shirt.
   I went into the hallway and it was like "He's a punk!"  And the football
   team chased me into the middle of the quad and put me in a garbage can.
   They poured orange juice over my head and kept punching me and I knew I'd
   done the right thing.

Shaun: Heh.  The difference between when you and I went to hight school
   was that for us the haircut was required to get along with the football
   team.  It was the stoners they beat up.  So you just made the change
   over night?

John: Yeah, I didn't have much of a New Wave period.  It lasted about an hour.

Shaun: Actually, punk and New Wave were once the same thing - or it was
   punk, then New Wave, then punk again.

John: Everything was all punk.  Like, Elvis Costello was punk.  Television
   was punk.  Blondie was punk.  Devo was punk.  And with that, you had the
   Buzzcocks, the Pistols, the Clash, Black Flag, the Circle Jerks, the
   Adolescents, and it was all together.  Because if you listened to any of
   those people and had a skinny tie or a mohawk or whatever you'd get into
   a party and they'd beat you up if you tried to drink from the keg.

DJ: Did you like the Buzzcocks?

John: Oh, I loved the Buzzcocks.

DJ: Because there's a little bit of song structure influence...

John: Yeah, I love them.  They're great.  I've seen them three or four times
   and they sound like the record when they play and they're perfect and
   they're so professional and they sing great and they're fucking punk.
   That's punk.

DJ: So, wrapping up, is there anyplace you'd like to say fuck you to?  Places
   they've treated you shitty or anything?

John:  Fuck you Munich, Germany.  Boston, get back up to speed and Portland,
   you're getting better but you've got a lot of work to do.

Shaun: But Seattle's terrific, right?

John: Oh yeah, Seattle's great.

(A voice from behind says "Wait'll you hear what they say tomorrow night.")

DJ: Sam, got anything?

Sam: There are too many to name, actually.  Not all of San Francisco, but
   the whole Maximum Rock & Roll scene in 'Frisco, and Gillman.  Fuck all
   that shit.

John: Yeah, fuck you Gillman and fuck you Bikini Kill.  But the PeeChees are
   awesome.  No fuck you to the PeeChees.


The "voice from behind" turned out to be founding member, chief songwriter
and rythm guitar/lead vocalist, Dave Smalley, who took time to speak with us
while John and Sam caught the tail end of the Pluto set.

Shaun: So I was asking John and Sam if Gruesome Gary was a real guy...

Dave: Gruesome Gary's not his name, but it's based on a real guy.  A lot
   of people identify with that song.

Shaun: One of the things I like about many of your songs is that anthem
   quality...

Dave: Yeah, I like writing songs that people sing to.  That's something
   I enjoy.  There's a lot of good singers and songwriters out there but
   it's always nice when the audience can sing along.

Shaun: If there's such a thing as a "traditional" punk band...

Dave: We're it. With a little bit of mod thrown in.

Shaun: Another song I asked about was "True Music."  Was making a video
   really a devastating compromise of principle?

Dave: I don't know if I'd use the word devastating, but it was hard
   because for so long, without even thinking about it, I'd viewed it as a
   bad thing because I think that MTV has done a lot of bad things.  Kids
   grow up and if they don't see it on MTV they don't think of it as viable
   or that they'd like it, and of course there are a lot of great bands
   that don't get on MTV.

Shaun: But now you've been on MTV, so is it a good thing?

Dave: No, I think it's a mixed thing.  I think the main trick is if you're
   going to make videos, make sure it's the song you love as the artist and
   make sure you do it your way.  I know bands that have spent $100 thousand
   on their videos and had the record company pick the song.  We spend, like,
   $10 thousand and we pick our song and we pick the director and we pick
   everything about it.

Shaun: How about a video of "True Music"?  Think MTV would play it?

Dave: Oh man.  I don't know.  Probably not.  You know, the one who played it
   was Matt Enfield from 120 Minutes and he's been very cool to us.  He called
   me at my house and left a message saying he loved the "Radio Raga" video
   and he was really nice.  Not to say that's where we want to be with our
   music, but it's nice we did it our way and he accepted it.  I don't think
   we're the kind of band that would ever be in regular rotation on MTV.

Shaun: Regular rotation on public access punk rock shows...

Dave: That's fine with me.  Actually, one of the things I like about making
   videos is our videos have been in the top 5 in the country on independent
   stations and that's great with me.

DJ: Yeah, I think the first time I heard of Down By Law was on a public access
   show here called Soundwaves.

Dave: That's great. A video show?

DJ: Yeah.  He plays stuff you'd never see anywhere else.

Dave: That's good.  That's what public access is all about.  It's like
   college radio.  You'll hear Down By Law, then the Bee Gees, then Nick
   Cave, or the Sex Pistols.

Shaun: You're the glue of the band - the guy who was on the first album
   and the new album...

Dave: Yeah, it's coalesced a lot since the early days.  I'm definitely
   the founding member but Sam and John have been in the band for almost
   four years now, and Danny has been in the band over a year.

Shaun: So there were a couple albums real quick and then a little hiatus?

Dave: Yeah. I really view starting with "punkrockacademy" as almost a
   new band in a way.  I love all the albums we've made, but I definitely
   felt it was more like a band once these guys got in there.

Shaun: Sam says he's on line a bit.  Do you get on the internet at all?

Dave: No, I don't.  My wife's a designer and she does a lot of computer
   work but I'm one of those freaks that still writes with a pen.

Shaun: I mention it because Cozmik Debris' a webzine and I hope you'll
   take a look at it.

Dave: Well, I get online once in a while.  I'll look for it.

DJ: You can show the review to people and say "See, even jazz people get
   it."  Shaun's our jazz reviewer.

Shaun: Yeah, DJ was trying to expand my horizons, or to reduce his workload,
   and he put two or three things in [the CD player] and I jumped on this
   one.  It sounded like the stuff I've liked forever.  It had that ironically
   traditional punk sound.

Dave: Thanks, that's what we are, for better or worse.  The best songwriters
   are the older ones, generally.  Not always, but I think my songwriting,
   compared with when this band started four or five years ago, has come a
   long way.

Shaun: The guys said that being on Epitaph gives you a young audience but
   there are a lot of people ten or fifteen years older than that young
   audience that should listen to this music. It's terrific.

Dave: I'd like to be able to reach more people our age and close to our
   age...[Dave Smalley is 32]

Shaun: I've got more than ten years on you.

Dave: Well, that's great. I think an older crowd could appreciate a lot
   of the subtleties in our music.  I love the younger kids to love us, I
   think that's great, but they may not have as much to relate to in terms
   of life experiences and things that are going on in the music and the
   lyrics.

Shaun: Well, a lot of people who were listening to punk music 20 years ago
   find that the music has moved away and it's hard to find bands that have
   the same spirit.  It's not really the sound, it's the spirit.

Dave: Well, John and I certainly grew up on the Clash and the Jam and
   the Who.  Those bands are part of our blood.  For better or worse, we're
   carrying the torch now that those groups are gone.  We picked up the
   torch where they set it down and hopefully someone will pick it up when
   we're done.

Shaun: But you've got a while to go, right?

Dave: I hope so, yeah.  I would like to think so.  You never can tell, but
   apparently things are going well.  The label is happy and we're happy.

DJ: Are most of the people who come to see you pretty educated about the
   music, like knowing the songs?

Dave: Yeah, our crowds are intelligent and pretty knowledgable about the
   music.  We don't get a lot of 15 year olds who just heard about it
   through the grapevine.  Sometimes, but mostly kids come who love the
   band.  With Down By Law, you either love the band or maybe you don't
   give a shit about it, but most the people who come to see us love it.

Shaun: So you could become the Grateful Dead of punk, with a troop of
   punks following you around the country...

Dave: Hey, give those guys credit.  They achieved a lot.  And they stuck
   with a thing and had a whole phenomenon build up around it.  Of course,
   I never would have said that when I was seventeen...


          *               *                *                *


We closed with the customary courtesies and Deej and I got into position
for what turned out to be a killer set from the band.  Many thanks to
John, Sam and Dave for their time, to the staff at Epitaph Records for
arranging the interview and to the kids in the RKCNDY crowd for letting
an old guy rock the night away with them.

Down By Law is Sam Williams III, lead guitar; Angry John DiMambro, bass;
Dave Smalley, vocals/guitar; and Danny Westman, drums.

WANNA WIN A DOWN BY LAW CD???  All you have to do is send e-mail to
moonbaby@serv.net with your name, address, phone number, and a quick
sentence letting us know that it's Down By Law you're after (we have more
than one contest per month, y'know...) and we'll put your name in the big
hopper for the December 30th drawing.  We'll be drawing 5 names!  So that
immediately quintupl...quin... gives you FIVE TIMES AS MANY CHANCES TO WIN!
Many thanks to Epitaph Records - one of the coolest labels in the known
universe - for the free CD's.  Only one entry per person.  All entries that
don't have all the required info will be tossed.  WE SWEAR ON A STACK OF
VICTORIA'S SECRET CATALOGS THAT WE'D NEVER IN A ZILLION YEARS SELL YOUR NAME
TO JUNK MAIL COMPANIES!  Or anybody else.  Thank you, and good night.



---------------------------------------------------------------------------

LOS FANTASTICO, ASOMBROS, Y MUY MUY LOUD HUEVOS RANCHEROS!
Interviewed by DJ Johnson

Inside the cover of Huevos Rancheros' latest release, Get Outta Dodge, there
is a photo of the band vamping for the camera and having a good time of it.
Under the photo, these simple words: "How's Our Driving?"

"Driving" is a good word to describe the music of this trio from Calgary,
Alberta, Canada.  "Intense," "full," and "explosive" would also do nicely.
Guitarist Brent Cooper's thick power chords blend perfectly with the high-energy
attack of Richie Ranchero (drums) and the new kid in the band, bassist
Cantankerous Tom.  When they want to, they can slow it down and crank the
reverb; but don't call them a surf band, lest you wind up with a guitar
broken over your skull.

With each new record, Huevos Rancheros' sound becomes tighter and more
powerful.  With that process comes confidence.  Cooper has recently tried
out his producing wings with fellow Canadians Chixdiggit, helping them
create one of the most energetic and solid albums of the year (their
self-titled album on Sub-Pop Records, which was reviewed in the August issue
of Cosmik Debris).	Recording for Mint Records -- an indie label that puts
out some of the coolest records in the biz -- the Rancheros boys continue to
do what they love to do: play good ol' rock and roll.  Loud.  Brent took
some time out between road jaunts to answer a few questions for us.


                 *          *          *          *


Cosmik: How did you happen to choose to play the type of music you play?

Brent: We didn't exactly choose it... we needed something to do and instro
   seemed like the fastest way to become some sort of productive band, even
   if productive meant getting paid a case of beer to open for the local U2
   cover band.

Cosmik: It's not like everyone was doing it...

Brent: I knew about the Shadowy Men... and Evan Johns and the H-bombs and
   the TailGators seemed like good starting points.  Richie had never even
   heard the Shadowy Men until we actually played with them.

Cosmik:	And then there's the question on everyone's minds: What made you
   name your band after an egg dish?

Brent: Dumb band - Dumb name.

Cosmik: Ah hah.  A simple formula!  When you first started out, did you have
   trouble getting gigs?

Brent: I had been in a few successful (on a local level) bands, as had Richie
   and Graham, so everybody knew who we were and we had enough contacts to
   score gigs right away.  We would play anywhere for anyone for basically
   beer and a few bucks at the drop of the hat, so clubs would literally
   call us the night of a show saying "the blahblahs couldn't make it, can
   you be on stage in 20 minutes?"

Cosmik:	How long did it take till you started to develop a following?

Brent: We sort of forced ourselves on everybody in every part of the music
   scene, from hardcore punk to rockabilly, ska, blues and whatever.  We must
   have picked up a few fans at each show 'cause soon we were playing our own
   shows.

Cosmik:	Most of your stuff isn't surf, but you get lumped in with the surf
   bands in conversations and even record bins.  Does that bother you at all?

Brent: Yeah, 'cause we ain't no stinkin' surf band!  I suppose for the average
   Joe, any band without a singer is a surf band.  We can try and try to
   describe our style, but as soon as we mention "instrumental" or "no vocals,"
   it's like "Oh! the Ventures?"   It's just the most obvious reference point.

Cosmik: Categorization is such a weird thing in the first place, but I'm
   surprised you don't get pegged as a rockabilly band more often, especially
   when you kick out great songs like "Rockin' In The Henhouse."  Was
   rockabilly a big influence on you all as players?

Brent: Rockabilly players usually had great guitars and cool sounds, so
   that's an easy place to look for inspiration.  Country music in general
   is really big in Calgary, so any of that stuff can leak into our music.
   Rockabilly is generally pretty cool, but remember the great rockabilly
   revival?  I figure the same thing will happen to the surf thing that is
   going on right now.  The crappy bands will get weeded out and the really
   good ones will survive.  The best ones are always the ones who mutate or
   change or add to the formula - not sticking with nostalgia.

Cosmik:	Have you always played in three piece bands?  You seem real
   comfortable in that format.

Brent: Tom [the new bass guy] and I played in a band or two with another
   guitar player. One in particular, The Gravity Thugs -- good name, good
   band -- was great 'cause more guitars meant more volume.  In general,
   though, I prefer to be the only guitar player.  There is less confusion
   on stage and I can get away with more because there isn't another guitar
   to trip over or compete with.

Cosmik:	You guys have a huge sound without overdubs.  It's an overall thing,
   but it seems like your tone almost always makes a solid wall, even though
   the tone itself is vastly different from song to song.  Most players only
   have a few different sounds.  How did your catalog of tones develop?

Brent: Actually, we do overdub some stuff when we record.  On "Dodge," all
   the guitars were recorded in stereo: two mics, two amps.  Sometimes I
   would use a third amp and blend it in and out during mixing. Live, I
   almost always use two amps in series -- not in stereo.   As for different
   tones, they mostly come from my hands and the guitar.  Live, I hate to
   change guitars, but I can get a few different sounds from the way that I
   pick or the volume control on the guitar.  In the studio, I use two or
   three different guitars for different sounds and I'll overdub rhythm or
   lead parts, as well as Richie overdubbing maracas or tambourine, or like
   on "Night of the Iguana," the vibraslap.

Cosmik:	What's the Huevos Rancheros writing process like?

Brent: We usually write as a group.  For this record Richie and I jammed as
   a two piece, coming up with basic ideas for songs.  When Tom stepped in,
   we were able to pull it all together.  Only once in a while will one of
   us come up with a whole song.  In fact, I don't think it has ever happened.
   Tom wrote most of "Railroad," but it wasn't until Richie and I Huevosized
   it that it became a real Huevos song.

Cosmik:	Once the songs are solid, how do you record them?  Do you do a lot
   of takes, or do you go for quick and spontaneous?

Brent: When we record, we try to get a solid live take that can then be worked
   with.  I make the most mistakes, so if Tom and Richie can get a good
   feeling bed, I'll finish it from there.  Songs like "Bar-B-Cutie" are
   totally live, while "The Lonely Bull" is a real production number where I
   played two guitar parts AND baritone guitar. The key is getting a good
   feel to the basic track.  If that's all the song needs, then we'll leave
   it at that.

Cosmik: All three of you are credited as producers in the liner notes of
   your albums.  Who does what?

Brent: It's up to the band as a whole to decide if something is good or bad
   or sounds good, etc.  Because I worry about the guitars and the "big
   picture" of a song, I'll usually spend the most time getting the music
   finished, as well as the mixing.  I recently got to be a real producer
   when I worked with Chixdiggit for their SUBPOP album.

Cosmik:	Oh yeah!  I reviewed that album.  One of the most powerful sounds I
   ever heard.  So that wall of sound on Chixdiggit's production is kind of
   similar to the Huevos sound.  How much of the Huevos sound is
   post-production, and how much is straight off the board?

Brent: Our basic sound is straight off the board.  If you get the microphones
   right 90% of the job is done.

Cosmik:	You have a definite sound.  Does that sound come out no matter what
   you play now, or do you have to work at getting it just right in the
   studio?

Brent: Yeah, we pretty much sound like Huevos no matter what.  We work with
   our engineer to translate the sounds we have and what we wanna get.  If
   you have to work too hard, something's wrong.  Maybe drum tuning or mic
   placement or the type of mic, even.  But remember: garbage in - garbage
   out.

Cosmik:	Tom Bagley, who does your cover art, has given you an identifiable
   visual style.  The cartoon characters are so distinctive, I think I'd
   know it was a Huevos Rancheros album even if there was no writing on it.
   Tell us a little bit about Tom.

Brent: Tom is also known as Jackson Phibes or Aliester Hexx or even Riff
   Wakeman, but he is the mastermind behind The Forbidden Dimension, a great
   band with ghoulish visuals and a heavy B-movie/Biker/comic book thing.

Cosmik: I loved his cover for Get Out Of Dodge.

Brent: The cover of Dodge is a great painting!  We originally thought of a
   western scene like the ones inside, but Tom came up with the snake oil
   salesman "gettin outta dodge."

Cosmik:	Speaking of Get Out Of Dodge, I really loved what you did with the
   intro to Sin City on the title track.  What made you think to do that?

Brent: We all love AC\DC!  We had played "Sin City" as our opening song on
   our last tour and wanted to include it on the record.

Cosmik:	Are you aware that you guys could pass for AC/DC as long as you only
   did intros and never did vocals?	 There might be some money in that, since
   AC/DC can't pass for AC/DC anymore.

Brent: Whattaya mean!!? AC/DC rules.  Angus rocks and Malcolm rules.  They
   have the best guitar sounds - not too clean, not too dirty: just right.
   And they're LOUD.

Cosmik: Yeah, I'll go along with that.  Get Out Of Dodge seems, to me anyway,
   to be a bit harder edged than a lot of your previous stuff.  Do you agree?

Brent: Yes, I agree.  We've tightened up the rhythm and bottom end with Tom.
   He plays a more solid bass style than Graham did, so it makes the whole
   thing seem heavier.  Also, there is none of the lighter sounding stuff on
   DODGE as there has been on the last two albums. Because the record is
   short there's no time for filler.

Cosmik: The title track is my favorite thing I've ever heard you do.  It
   just rips.  Is that song in your live show?

Brent: We've being playing that song for a long time now.  We recorded a
   version for the John Peel show when we were in England.  Again, the Tom
   thing helps too.

Cosmik: Does it get a lot of response?  It seems like it could make dead
   men mosh.

Brent: At all ages shows the kids get into the 2-step\punk rock power chord
   thing.  We get a big mosh pit going, the circle thing and all that.
   Personally, we would rather see people actually dance or at least pogo
   than mosh.  So far, no dead men.

Cosmik: "What A Way To Run A Railroad" is another song that smokes.  Gotta
   ask...how did you come up with that title?

Brent: "Railroad" is great song to play live.  The title is from Daffy Duck,
   I think -- just like "Please Pass the Ketchup" is from Daffy Duck.

Cosmik: Cool!  I guess this is the first time I've thought of Daffy as a
   solid rock and roll influence.  "Smart Bomb" is straight forward, but you
   managed to get just a hint of surfy white noise in there.

Brent: We had to write a song for the Mai Tai records SPY theme compilation.
   We originally recorded it live in Richie's garage and then added a friend
   playing organ to the 4-track.  When we recorded it for DODGE, I added a
   second guitar track doing mostly feedback.  If you listen closely you can
   hear one amp with tremolo on one side, and for the second track, it's on
   the other side doing the other guitar, so you get a wacky stereo effect.

Cosmik: I thought it was a great touch closing the set with "The Lonely Bull."
   That's got to be one of the most beautiful melodies ever.  What made you
   think of covering that one?  Is it something you've always played?

Brent: We played it a few times just for laughs but couldn't -- and can't --
   get it right.  So in the studio we had a go of it.  The melody is beautiful
   so we tried to stick it way out front.  We left out the happy chords and
   built up a sloppy but big sounding production number.  Sort of a Crazy
   Horse meets Jack Nitzsche thing.

Cosmik:	It's just another style among many for you, huh?  How about "Rockin'
   Lafayette," from your Dig In album?  That country-swing sounded totally
   authentic.  Were you exposed to much of that style in Calgary?

Brent: Sure, there's lots of country in Calgary, but we first heard that
   song on a rockabilly compilation played by Dave Alvin.

Cosmik:	What kind of music did you really grow up with?  What were the main
   inspirations?

Brent: I grew up with lots of heavy rock -- Alice Cooper, Led Zep, The Who,
   and like all Canadian teens, Rush.  When I was in  elementary school, I
   would listen to the Ventures and Black Sabbath back to back while playing
   ball hockey.  The three of us were all turned on by early punk, especially
   The Ramones, who are possibly the best band of all time. Tom likes Devo
   and The Descendants while Richie digs George Jones and Johnny Cash.

Cosmik: That makes total sense now that you say it, but I never would have
   put those influences together in my head and thought of the Huevos sound
   as a result.  Very cool.  Calgary has such an interesting music scene,
   which I've only been learning about for the past year or so.  What elements
   of your sound do you think can be attributed to being from Calgary?

Brent: Almost all the Calgary bands are guitar bands, at least the ones we
   like.  Calgary is a bit isolated so we see each others' bands way too
   much.  It's hard not to be influenced by your peers when you see them all
   the time.  We have been around Calgary so long it's like we're no longer a
   local band.  We're a Canadian band now, not just Calgary.

Cosmik:	Are there any styles of playing you haven't tried yet that you want
   to try?

Brent: We could be really bluesy or really noisy like Sonic Youth.  I think
   we are going to record a single with loud Hammond organ and a 6/8 time
   signature.  Maybe like a Rocket From the Crypt thing.  We always figure
   we can get away with anything as long as it has one foot in rock n roll.

Cosmik: What are some of the bands in Calgary these days that you think we
   should keep an ear out for?

Brent: Chixdiggit are tops.  Also Forbidden Dimension and Straight, the Von
   Zippers have a great thing going.  We especially like The Curse Of
   Horseflesh and anything on the RotoFlex label.  There are lots and lots
   of bands.

Cosmik:	And now, the part of our show where the musicians get to take lots
   of notes.  Equipment time.  Give us a rundown of your gear.

Brent: Ah! Gear!  Tom uses a Fender Precision Bass and an ANCIENT Peavey
   head with giant silver knobs.  It's called "The Power Module."  It runs
   into an old Acoustic 4x12 and sometimes a Marshall 15 incher.  Richie
   uses a set of red sparkle Ludwig drums from the sixties.  I usually play
   through a blackface Vibrolux reverb amp and a blackface Pro Reverb amp
   with Gretsch or Gibson guitars.

Cosmik:	How about effects?

Brent: I use an Ibanez Tube Screamer and Tom uses a 20-foot cable.

Cosmik:	Are there any additional effects you use in the studio that you can't
   use live?  Or just don't use live?

Brent: We use compression and sometimes cool sounding reverbs on everything
   in the studio.  Sometimes I'll use a little Magnatone amplifier, and I
   have an old Fender Spring reverb that I used to use exclusively.  I retired
   it in favor of the pair of amps I use now.

Cosmik:	What gauge strings do you use?

Brent: Usually 10 to 54 or 10 to 56.  I still have to change them every
   second or third set.

Cosmik:	Anything you'd like to say to your fellow musicians out there?

Brent: If it isn't loud, it isn't on!

Cosmik:	Back to Get Out Of Dodge for a minute here... It's an EP, about 18
   minutes long, and it's hot as hell.  When can we expect the next full
   length release?

Brent: We have to hide out and write a bunch of songs before we commit to
   another full length.  We would like to put out a few singles, maybe, to hone
   our writing skills and get new material together.

Cosmik:	What all is going on in your lives right now?  Any big deals cookin?

Brent: N0 big deals -- yet, we're just pounding along like the millions of
   other independent bands in the world.  We've been pretty lucky just to be
   able to put out records and tour like we do.  People have been good to
   us, and even without a big deal, we'll keep doing it.

Cosmik:	You used to say you started this band to get free beer.  Did it work?

Brent: Oh yeah.  Now we'll even pay for the beer if the gig's good enough.



---------------------------------------------------------------------------

MAL SHARPE - The Weirdness Continues...
Interviewed by Ann Arbor interviews.


In the early '60s (prior to Candid Camera), Mal Sharpe and his partner James
P. Coyle roamed the streets of San Francisco, and later Los Angeles,
encountering people and making outrageous proposals to them.  These "street
encounters" were done with a visible or invisible tape recorder and turned
into material for their nightly radio show on KGO.  Although well known to
San Francisco radio audiences, others in the U.S. had never heard of Coyle
and Sharpe.  They released two records on the Warner label in the '60s.  In
1995 Mal's daughter Jennifer and Henry Rollins released a CD "Coyle & Sharpe
On the Loose" on Henry's 213CD label which stimulated new interest in the
work of Coyle and Sharpe.

I had never heard of Coyle and Sharpe when I was asked to review the "On the
Loose" CD by the music director of KFJC radio.  I listened to the CD and
laughed for an entire week.  Mal and I were both nominated for the Tom
Donahue awards last year. At the awards ceremony I introduced myself to him
and told him that I wanted to do a special on the work of Coyle and Sharpe
the next May for KFJC's annual "Month of Mayhem."  Preparing for the special
involved listening to countless hours of Coyle and Sharpe. At this point Mal
acknowledges that I know the work of Coyle and Sharpe better than he does.

Our special aired on May 4, 1996; Mal was in the studio with me for all 4
hours.  At the end he said that he was convinced that the spirit of James P.
Coyle was there too, laughing along with us.  This Fall, Mal and his wife
Sandra, along with photographer Alex Vertikoff, published a book called "Weird
Rooms." When Cosmik Debris invited me to interview Mal, I decided to talk to
him about the people whose rooms are shown in the book interleaved with
similar topics from his early work with Coyle. At the end, Mal concludes that
he had never made the connections from Weird Rooms to his earlier work.

         *                        *                              *

WEREWOLF (track 10 on the CD:  Coyle & Sharpe On the Loose)

Mal Sharpe:  This is another in our series "Meet the Celebrity." Every day I
   bring a famous celebrity on to the streets of San Francisco and introduce
   him to a passerby.  Today I have stopped a young man. May I have your name
   please?

Passerby:  Michael Huffman.

Sharpe: Michael, I'd like you to meet James P. Coyle.  Mr. Coyle is a werewolf.

Coyle:  Glad to meet you.  Can I ask you this question? Have you, yourself,
   ever had any transformational experiences?

Huffman: You'll have to explain that just a little bit better.

Coyle: Well insofar as I know, I of course can't view this objectively, I
   apparently get a certain actual physical change.  The physical change is
   pretty much limited to my face and arms.  Where I get an increased burliness
   and I snarl and I become unmanageable at times.

Sharpe:  Now you, sir, would you be willing to take this gentleman Mr. Coyle,
   into your home and contend with this sort of a beast in the evening?

Huffman:  If I were a citizen here and if I were a civilian, I believe I
   would do it because I've the experience with these type of people before.

Coyle:  I have animal capacities, I am actually part wolf.

Sharpe:  I have seen him go through this transformation.  I have seen his
   face become wolflike.  I have seen hair grow out on the front of his face
   and I have seen large fangs appear and I will swear to this in court.

Coyle:  I am part wolf-like and I'm not ashamed of it.  I am not totally a
   human being. Maybe you're totally human, but I'm part animal.

Huffman:  No one is totally human, they've all got animal instincts in them.

Sharpe:  Could we go through a transformation right now and have Mr. Coyle
   become a werewolf for you on the street just to prove that he is a werewolf?
   And we can do it now. Can we do this?

Huffman:  I don't particularly care to see something like that.

Sharpe:  Can we go ahead?

Huffman:  I don't know.  I certainly don't have any particular desire to see
   this.  I don't know if it's going to prove anything by becoming a werewolf
   on the streets or anything.

Coyle:  I have showed it to the people at the radio station, I'll show it to
   you.
Huffman:  I guess it's all right with me.

Coyle:  May I go through a pre-wolf intensity	 (***?)

Huffman: All right go ahead.

Sharpe:  I make a wolf sound which brings this out in him and Mr. Coyle will
   start turning into a werewolf.  Are you ready?    gr-r-r-r-r-r-r-r (he
   growls). Now there are some sounds coming from Mr. Coyle, the transformation
   is beginning!

Coyle: (fierce sounding growls)

Huffman:  That's enough.

Sharpe:  He is becoming a werewolf isn't he?

Huffman: yeah

Sharpe: Would you describe his face?

Huffman:  He's got a very animalistic look.

Sharpe: And what else?

Huffman: Certainly does.  He looks like a wolf.

Sharpe:  And what would you say about his eyes and his teeth?

Huffman:  Very animalistic.

Sharpe:  Do you believe now that he is becoming a werewolf?

Huffman:  Certainly.

Sharpe:  You do.

Huffman: yeah.

Sharpe:  Mr. Coyle do you have anything final to say in your wolf state?

Coyle:  (Growls and starts laughing. Both Coyle and Sharpe lose it laughing.)

Sharpe:  This is a joke. (laughing) Honestly it is.   What did you think?

Huffman:  It's pretty weird, I'll say that much.  It is pretty weird.  I
   thought he was going to attack me.


          *                        *                              *


Cosmik:  Good morning Mal!

Sharpe: Yeah, there we were on the streets of San Francisco in 1963.  Those
   were real people out on Market Street.  It's fun to hear my old partner,
   Jim Coyle, who has now passed away, terrifying this guy out on the street
   - he really terrified this guy.

Cosmik: Was this at Halloween?

Sharpe:  I can't remember, but everyday was Halloween for Coyle and Sharpe.
   We were always into bizarre stuff.  We had done all this put on stuff, we
   had done hundreds of things with hidden microphones and we were really into
   the ethic of never cracking up, never smiling and never letting on that we
   were putting anybody on.  But in this particular sequence, this guy got
   so terrified you could see it in his eyes.  Coyle had a way of making faces
   that were so realistic and so convincing that he was totally crazy and
   frightening. That was one of the few times when Coyle and I couldn't help
   ourselves from starting to laugh at the end of that.

Cosmik: We're here to talk about your work with Coyle and also about a new
   book you've written.

Sharpe:  The work with Coyle dates back to 1963-64, and some of it can be
   heard on a CD called "Coyle & Sharpe On the Loose."  Just recently my wife
   Sandra and I, and a photographer named Alex Vertikoff, have done a book
   called Weird Rooms. We went out and found all these weird people - I think
   I've been dealing with weird people all my life - who have weird rooms in
   their homes.  A lot of them are right here in the Bay Area. At least all
   of them are in California.  They're just people where you go into their
   house and you say, "Whoa that's a weird room!"  This one guy, Ken Irwin,
   has this spaceship with thousands of TV sets in his little apartment.  He
   has walls made out of duct tape and fish tanks with piranhas, and thousands
   of rubber gloves hanging from the ceiling with colonies of algae that he
   calls "command posts."

Cosmik: I'd love to read this piece of the book  Did you just take his words
   and turn them into the text that we see in the book?

Sharpe: Yeah. We edited Ken.  We would go and look at their room and the
   photographer, Alex Vertikoff, would photograph it.  Then Sandra and I
   would interview them.  The interviews went on longer than what you see
   in the book, but we condensed the essence of each story.


            *                        *                              *


KEN'S SPACESHIP (from Weird Rooms):

When I first walked into this apartment, it was just a one-bedroom,
1950s-style place. I had a vision of this space before I moved in. I've had
twenty-two other visions that I've built - they've all looked like
spaceships.

Everything you see in here I built. The walls and cabinets are made out of
duct tape - four thousand rolls of gray duct tape. I used thousands of pounds
of tin foil. I have sixty-one television sets and twenty-three computers in
here. Wiring runs all through the ceiling. I don't drive, so I carried
everything over here from a store.

One room I call my secondary command center.  It has hundreds of plastic
gloves filled with water hanging from the ceiling. This creates microsystems
of bacteria. You can see the algae growing inside. Each glove is a space
colony. I have six robots to protect me from invaders.

My kitchen is a laboratory for the glazes I use on ceramic pottery. I have
bottles filled with rotten eggs; the bacteria in the eggs starts to expand,
and at a certain point the eggs explode like grenades. They stink like hell.
I dry out the eggs and grind them into the powders I use in glazes. The
glazes are violet and wine colored.

My bedroom is a loft. Two secret rooms are underneath the bed. One has a
full-sized piano. There's a deeper room that only I know about. In my fish
bowls I have piranhas; they won't eat goldfish, but they will eat turkey,
duck, and beef. You can see the bones. I have flowers on the ceiling; some
are real, some are not.

I want the worlds of nature and technology to exist together. If you look out
the window from here, all you see are buildings and cars -- very few natural
areas where I can go to escape. This is my oasis in the brutal, hostile city.


          *                        *                              *


Cosmik: So where did you find this guy?

Sharpe:  We found him because a lawyer friend of ours was representing Ken.  
   The landlord was trying to throw him out and our friend Jim, the lawyer,
   was trying to help this guy out, help him stay in the house.  Jim is a
   friend of artists and Ken is an art student and a pretty out there guy.

Cosmik: This guy is trying to bring the worlds of technology and nature
   together. And that kind of reminds me of the "Pescahumanists."

Sharpe: In a weird way, this guy reminds me of my old partner Jim Coyle.
   Here we are 30 years before this still dealing with weird little worlds
   out on the street.


       *                        *                              *


THE PESCAHUMANISTS (Coyle & Sharpe, from the early '60s):

Sharpe: Could we have your name sir?

Passerby: Mel Dilley.

Coyle: A group of people who call themselves "Pescahumanists" that is to say
   fishpeople have actually given up their humanism and are living as fish
   off the California coast. Would it be your feeling that they should be
   prevented from living as fish? Or would you favor interfering in their
   fish existence?

Dilley: Well I don't know.  If they're not breaking any laws or doing any
   harm to anybody.  I don't think that people should really put them away
   or anything like that.

Sharpe:  What do you mean "put them away?"

Dilley:  Well, do anything to really prevent them.  They're not breaking any
   laws or anything like that.

Coyle: A number of them, even though they have indicated that they are fish,
   have claimed Social Security benefits.  Do you think Social Security
   benefits should be paid to fishpeople?

Dilley: Uh no.

Coyle: Why is that? Be honest.

Dilley: I just don't see why, because, uh like you say, they're not
   contributing anything to mankind. They're just going off on their own.

Coyle: Who isn't?

Dilley: These fishpeople.  If they're not contributing anything to mankind,
   I don't see why they should be drawing Social security  I don't think they
   rate it.

Sharpe:  Well a lot of them worked for many years here on land and now that
   they're in the water they're claiming unemployment. A vessel is going out
   about once every month with unemployment checks dropping it into the water
   to these fishpeople.  Do you think that this practice should be stopped?

Dilley: Yeah I think it should, I really do.

Coyle: No unemployment checks for pescahumanists.  Would you favor joining a
   group of people who intend to go out on a fishing party, in vessels, in
   small boats, and are actually going to cast lines into the water with
   human bait.  Would you favor actually fishing for these pescahumanists?
   And would you join such a fishing party?

Dilley: First of all, I wouldn't ever join anything like that.  As far as
   going out and throwing lines over, I say "no" because I don't want to
   have anything to do with it.

Sharpe: What would you see on the boat?  What would they be pulling in with
   these fishing lines?

Dilley: These people, I guess.  So I say "no" I don't want anything to do
   with that.  I'd never join anything like that.

Coyle:  You'd never join the fishing party?  Or you'd never become a
   Pescahumanist?

Dilley:  I'd never become a Pescahumanist.  Whatever it is.  But I'd never
   join the fishing party either.  I don't really want anything to do with it.

Coyle: You wouldn't go out with these people and have human bait on the hooks?

Dilley: No I wouldn't.

Coyle:  Can we tell you something?  We're glad to hear that, and I hope you
   won't be impatient with us.  But we ourselves ascribe to a lot of the
   beliefs of the fish people, and we're out on the street today trying to
   recruit others.   Would you ever consider going back to an aquatic
   existence, to an existence in which you'd be surrounded by water?

Dilley: No I wouldn't.  Just uh, this is the way I live, like I live right
   now and that's the way I like to live. I don't see any reason why I'd
   want it any other way.

Sharpe:  You're in the U.S. Navy aren't you?

Dilley:  I am.

Sharpe: And that means that you like the water doesn't it?

Dilley: Not that much, no.

Sharpe: Wouldn't you want to go underwater for a while?

Dilley: No. I can say this:  I never even want to consider being one of those
   fishpeople or anything like that.  I just want to be like I am.

Sharpe: Don't we look like we are?  Aren't we normal looking?

Dilley:  You sure are.  But I still, you know...

Coyle: You know that we have this belief.

Dilley: I wouldn't consider... I wouldn't want to consider it even.

Coyle:  Do you know what we consider ourselves to be?

Dilley:  You mean you?  You guys consider yourselves to be fish, so you say.

Sharpe: And you could be a fish too!

Dilley: But I wouldn't want to, you know I mean...

Coyle:  Would you give it a chance?  Would you come with us just for a brief
   immersion in our colony?

Dilley:  Nah.  I mean I'm not scared or anything like that, naturally uh it
   just doesn't interest me.

Coyle:  What are we asking you to do?

Dilley:  You're asking me to come down there and act like a fish for a while.

Coyle:  With others.

Dilley: Yeah with others, naturally...

Coyle: Who are living as fish.  Would you give it a chance?

Dilley:  No I wouldn't because... I just wouldn't.

Coyle:  We have with us today another person who felt as you did.  Who was
   opposed to the idea of becoming a fish person.  We took him as we did you,
   we met him on the street, we brought him to our colony and now he has lived
   as a fish person.

Dilley:  Yeah well uh, everybody's different.  You know, I mean people could
   change their minds, but knowing myself I'd say I never would.

Coyle: We'd like you to meet him.

Sharpe: This is Mr. Adams who is one of the leading Pescahumanists in the
   United States today. Mr. Adams, .... Your name sir?

Dilley: Mel Dilley.

Sharpe: You are shaking hands now.

Adams:  Glad to meet you.  No, I was very doubtful of this and there are a
   lot of benefits.  Actually I used to be tired all the time  You wouldn't
   believe it, but I'm almost 48 years old!  It's made me younger and
   everything.  So, I don't blame you for having your doubts, but a lot of
   changes have occurred here.  We aren't able to smoke there though, I see
   you've lit a cigarette.  But we have other things, we chew kelp and things
   like that.  It's a lot more fun.

Sharpe:  Where have you traveled as a Pescahumanist?  To what parts of the
   world underwater?

Adams:  Well, I made my first trip over to Hawaii, and boy I had some doubts
   at first.  But gee, after a while, you listen to the dolphins and...

Coyle:  Have you found your breathing processes to be difficult under the
   water?

Adams:  Actually I have trouble breathing here, now, because I'm used to the
   other, yes...

Coyle:  Would you come on a voluntary basis as a fish person?

Dilley: No, not even.

Coyle: A one month training course, actually five weeks.

Dilley:  I couldn't do that either because I've got my obligation to the
   Navy, so you see...

Adams:  The Navy has helped us with this, actually it's been experimental
   with them, so they could do away with their submarines and so on like
   that... strap things to the men's backs and use them for bombs, kind of
   like a "kamikaze of the sea."

Dilley: It's all right, but it don't interest me a bit.

Sharpe:  You could carry TNT this afternoon.

Dilley: Not even.

Cosmik:  You wouldn't do that for your country?

Dilley:  I do enough for my country as it is right now.


         *                        *                              *


Cosmik:  So tell us a bit about the Pescahumanists.

Sharpe: Coyle and I used to do so many things like this:  Pescahumanists,
   underground rituals with animals and people and wolverines and bats.

Cosmik:  Tell us a bit about the mentality in the '60s that caused you to
   think about some of these things.

Sharpe: Well you know this stuff was recorded here in San Francisco in the
   early '60s.  This was before Kennedy was assassinated and the moonshot
   and all these sorts of things.  Pseudoscience had everyone in its sway,
   it still does, but even then.... Today you can picture someone being half
   human and half fish.  It's kinda getting there in a way, where we're using
   animal parts like pigs' heart valves...  But back then it was purely
   fantasy to us, it was beyond any kind of reality and that's what appealed
   to us.  Before we went out in the morning we would sit in a coffee shop
   and come up with concepts to talk about on the street that day.  Often it
   was just things we'd see, fish on the menu and we'd say "fishpeople" and
   Coyle, who had a great vocabulary, would say "Pescahumanists."  We'd go
   out on the street, stop someone and start to talk about "Pescahumanists."
   That's how those things happened. Sometimes we would do the same sequence
   several times over the course of months, you know, we wouldn't get a good
   victim.  So we would begin to develop a kind of plot or a world, the
   "Pescahumanist" world, things like this in our minds.  Then we would just
   look for a "victim."

Cosmik:  Was there any way that you associated a particular concept with a
   particular person? Or was it just whoever you happened to meet that morning?

Sharpe:  It was whoever we met.  Market Street was kind of fun back then. The
   big cruise ships still came in that were traveling around the world and
   often they pulled down around the Ferry Building. Often you would get
   English tourists.  Everybody was pretty gullible and we looked pretty
   straight.  All we needed was someone who was willing to talk with us and
   we were off. People weren't as willing, really, to talk then.  Now,
   everybody is used to microphones and TV cameras.  So if you got somebody
   on the street that wanted to stop and talk to you, usually we could get
   them involved in something.

Cosmik:  It seems as though there are some themes that seem to crop up in the
   book "Weird Rooms" and in your early vignettes.  For example, "The Room
   of Burning Souls."

Sharpe:  I've never thought about that, Ann. I've just sort of liked this
   stuff all my life.  Here's this guy Billy Shire - he owns a store in Los
   Angeles that sells a lot of weird artifacts.  He's collected all these
   "animas" which are like the souls burning in hell, they're religious
   figures.  A lot of them come from Mexico.  Coyle and I had a sequence
   called "Living Hell" where we had this pit where you could go down and
   work in it, there were bats and snakes around your feet and flames. This
   was a job offer that we did on the streets of San Francisco.

Cosmik:  Absolutely, we're right in sync.  That's exactly what I had planned
   to play next.

Sharpe:  That's weird, I'm looking at this picture of the room of burning souls
   and sure enough there is a Haitian piece of fabric with a snake on it and
   all these skulls and flames licking around the bottoms of these statues.
   That's very weird that you point this out.  You're weirder than I am, Ann.


          *                        *                              *


A LIVING HELL:

Sharpe:  This is Mal Sharpe with another in the series "Job Opportunities."
   Every day I bring an employer out on to the street and have him offer a
   San Franciscan an interesting and novel job.  Now I have James P. Coyle
   with me, our employer of the day, and I've just stopped a young man who
   we're going to offer a job to.

Coyle:  I am James P. Coyle and I'm very glad to meet you.

Passerby:  Same here.

Coyle: The nature of the job is, it's a little unusual, just like anything
   else there are certain risks entailed in it.  You would be working down
   in a pit, in which I have created, through scientific endeavor, I have
   created intense flame.  People throw objects into the flaming pit, you go
   through, you pick them up, they name the objects and you pick them up and
   I charge them admission.

Passerby:  Yeah I think I'd be interested.  It's something new and exciting,
   and I like exciting.

Coyle:  The reason I ask, I had an employee before, and I will tell you this
   directly and honestly, he was a little careless, incautious.  I gave him
   specific instructions and he perished.  Now I want you to understand this
   before we get any further.  He did perish.

Passerby: I understand.  Mistakes can happen sometimes.

Sharpe:  Now as I understand it the death index on this job, they give us a
   death index, is about 98%. In other words, if you took this job the chance
   of your actual perishing would be 98% in favor of your perishing.

Passerby:  That's the chance. I like to take chances.

Coyle:  What we're trying to do, really, is to create a living hell.  Have
   people pay admission, they look down in the pit, they see you down there,
   the flames are all around you.  There will be 4 maniacs with you and you've
   got to control them.

Passerby: Now wait a minute, I don't understand that, you say 4 maniacs?

Coyle: Yes.

Passerby:  Yeah, you mean I got to tell them what to do, try to keep them
   together or something like that?

Coyle: Yes, exactly - control them and see that they don't interfere with you,
   because they will.  That's what they're going to try to do. They're fully
   costumed, they're fully protected and they're going to be attacking you
   and this is part of the attraction.

Passerby: Oh I see. It sounds very interesting.

Sharpe: Have you worked with maniacs before?

Passerby: No, no.

Coyle: Have you worked with flame before?

Passerby: No, not necessarily.

Sharpe:  One other aspect, large bats fly through the air.  You've seen bats
   haven't you?

Passerby:  Yes.

Sharpe: These are very large bats with extremely large teeth, from the photo
   I saw.  They'll be swooping down over your head.  Would the bats at all
   deter you from doing your job?

Passerby: No I don't think so. If I had a job to do I'd try to do it regardless
   of the bats or anybody else.

Coyle: Now I am... I'll explain the situation to start with, I want to be
   sure that you can handle the job,  I am paying $46 a week, initially. Is
   this agreeable?

Passerby: Sounds okay.

Coyle:  And I am offering not only the $46, but during the 12 hours that you
   will be down in the pit every day I will provide nourishment to you.  In
   other words, I will provide one meal during that 12 hour period.  Will that
   be satisfactory?

Passerby: Sounds okay.

Sharpe: Have you ever consumed bats?

Passerby: No I haven't.

Coyle: Would you look forward to the idea of actually consuming a bat?

Passerby: Eating one?

Coyle: Yes.

Passerby: I guess so.

Sharpe: In other words, your lunch, you go down and open up your little brown
   paper bag that Mr. Coyle had prepared and inside there would be a bat.
   You would just prepare it down in the flames.

Passerby: Oh I would have to cook it myself?

Sharpe: Yeah.

Passerby: Ohhohoho no!

Coyle: Why?

Passerby: Well, if you could cook it for me I wouldn't mind eating it.

Coyle: Cook what?

Passerby: A bat. As long as I didn't see it cooking, I think I could devour it.

Sharpe: Have you ever had any experience with snakes, large snakes?

Passerby: No.

Sharpe: See the bats actually they're foes down in this pit.  The reason why
   the bats are there is because there are snakes in the pit. The bats attack
   the snakes and the snakes will be curling around your feet as you're trying
   to handle the maniacs...

Passerby: I'm not scared of snakes though.

Sharpe: What?

Passerby: I'm not scared of snakes.

Coyle: Are you at all, be honest, are you at all afraid of the maniacs?

Passerby: No, not really.

Coyle: What're you going to do with them if they start attacking you?

Passerby: Fight them off.

Coyle: And this is what the people pay for. The people who are looking down
   into the pit pay to see you surrounded by flames, picking up objects that
   they throw down to you. You'll be attacked by the maniacs and the bats,
   the snakes will be crawling at your feet.  You understand, this is what
   the people pay for.

Passerby: Yes.  Well, if they pay to see it, give them their money's worth.

Coyle: What I'd like to know is do you fully understand the job? Can you in
   your own way recapitulate what I've told you about the job, so that we
   know that you do have an understanding of it.

Passerby: Yeah, it seems to me that you want me to work in some kind of a pit.
   As you say, you're trying to develop a living hell, and in this pit, I wear
   some sort of a uniform, there be a lot of flames. I have to work with
   maniacs and watch out for bats flying around, and I'll get one meal a day,
   I'll be in there for 12 hours and I'll have to eat a bat.

 Sharpe: And you will take the position.

Passerby: Yeah, I'd like to try it!


         *                        *                              *


Cosmik: So this guy was willing to take the job where he had to be in a pit
   eating bats, having snakes and maniacs and the whole business?

Sharpe:  I know, he was willing to do it.  We would just push people.  We
   thought we would throw these obstacles in front of people and hope that
   finally they would say "No!" and start arguing with us, which a lot of
   people did.  We just kept making things worse and worse.  This guy never
   balked.  What's weird, I'm looking at this photo in the Weird Rooms book,
   literally if you were doing an album cover and you were using "A Living
   Hell" as the title cut on the album, this photo of the room of burning
   souls, taken 35 years later, would be perfect for it!

Cosmik: It would.  Another one I enjoyed was "The Cowboy Room."

Sharpe: The Cowboy Room, that's an interesting story.


        *                        *                              *


TORU'S COWBOY ROOM (From Weird Rooms)

About twenty-two years ago I got this idea: I would create a cowboy room
where I could watch TV and be a slob. When I was growing up my mother would
never let us put our feet on the coffee table, but now I can eat an apple and
throw the core across the room, toss peanut shells on the floor, and leave
beer bottles where I finish them.  This room represents America - the Lone
Ranger - but there's another reason for it.

I was born in Japantown. When I was four, I was sent to San Francisco General
Hospital with an ear problem. I was there for a month, and because I couldn't
speak English, I was very lonely.  One day my father came to pick me up with
two Caucasian men who, I realized years later, were FBI agents. While I was
hospitalized, all the Japanese Americans had been moved into relocation
camps. I never returned to my home again. I joined my family in San Bruno,
California, where they were living in a stable at a race track. I'm not
glorifying this, but kids can make anything fun. Since them I have always
loved the smell of hay, manure, and alfalfa. It brings back memories of
playing in the stables.

So when I started this cowboy room, the first thing I did was buy six bales
of hay. The night I bought them I slept on them, but they were as hard as
bricks and gave me a headache.  I've tried to make this room as authentic a
bunkhouse as possible, but I'm against guns so I don't have any. A lot of
friends come over and want to help me clean up this place, but that would
ruin it. This room has gone twenty-two years without being cleaned. Its whole
purpose is to let me be a slob. The notion that cowboys have girlfriends can't
be true. What woman would live under these circumstances? (Toru Saito)


         *                        *                              *


Sharpe:  Toru is a guy I've known for years, he lives in the East Bay.  When
   we started doing this book a friend of mine, Chris said "You know Toru
   has this weird room in his house."  All these are rooms that people live
   in.  These aren't things that they've just decorated.  These are parts of
   their homes.  You go over to this very ordinary house, just another house
   on the street.  Downstairs is a livingroom, everything is normal.  You walk
   up into this one room, Toru's Cowboy Room, and it's a total other world
   that he's created for himself up there.

Cosmik: But he has other parts to his house?

Sharpe: Yeah, they're totally normal. This is like his little refuge. This
   is where he goes, as he says he throws cigarette butts on the floor, you
   can see that the place is littered with beer cans, and bales of hay and
   saddles, cowboy boots.  He just sits there on his bunk bed watching TV,
   a happy man.

Cosmik:  Kinda like "Refuse Estates?"

Sharpe: I don't even remember what "Refuse Estates" is.

Cosmik: It was a "commercial" you and Coyle did.


          *                        *                              *


REFUSE ESTATES ('60s era pseudo-commercial by Coyle & Sharpe)

Sharpe: The next portion of Coyle and Sharpe is brought to you by "Refuse
   Estates!"

[music]

Sharpe: A community of modern homes constructed entirely of refuse items.

Coyle: You've probably thought of getting a home for yourself, but as with
   the rest of us, the costs are pretty high.  You couldn't quite make it,
   even with convenient payments. Well, Refuse Estates has come up with a
   plan whereby all peoples can be homeowners.  Why pay inflationary costs
   for standard construction materials that go into the building of the
   average home? No need to anymore. Refuse will build you a home, using for
   construction materials only such things as: fabrics, cardboard, bedsprings,
   orange peels, expired cattle, and occasionally brick and steel pieces.

Sharpe: Pile your family into the car and drive out to Refuse Estates this
   Sunday.  Visit our model home. If you then find that you're interested in
   a home out at Refuse Estates, the next step is simple. All we've got out
   at Refuse Estates now, aside from the one model home we have constructed,
   is a huge pile of debris.  You'll merely walk through the debris picking
   and sorting items out that you'd like to have in your dwelling unit.  Days
   later, your glorious new home will be ready for you, constructed and
   completely landscaped, with scrap.

Coyle: That's right if you'd like to live in a home of contemporary style,
   constructed entirely of 20th century junk pieces, come on out to Refuse
   Estates! Take highway 666L and make the turnoff at Aragosis Pass, then 2
   lefts and you're at Refuse.

Sharpe: Shopping centers conveniently located within minutes of Refuse Estates.

Coyle: So come on out, spend the rest of your years in a smart community,
   surrounded by garbage. Come on out and take a look!  Remember, Refuse is a
   good place for family living!

Sharpe: If you're interested in our free pamphlet, "Home of Your Heart,"
   write to Refuse Estates, c/o Coyle and Sharpe, KGO Radio, or contact your
   local scavenger.

Coyle: Convenient financing available for all.


          *                        *                              *


Cosmik: It sounded like a real commercial.

Sharpe: But you know there are probably some people out there driving around
   the Peninsula. A friend of mine was looking for a house down there and
   they're so hard to get.  There could be some people down there today just
   tuning in and saying, "I'm going to look for this place." There's an example
   though, you know we were totally fantasizing this back in '63. And now we're
   finding out that all these projects were built on dumps. They've become
   waste sites, like Love Canal - all these places that were built on trash
   heaps, there's much more reality to it, now.

Cosmik: Toxic trash heaps.

Sharpe: People are living on garbage dumps all over America today, to us it
   was unthinkable, back then.

Cosmik:  And then you see people who turn their homes into garbage dumps, or
   parts of their homes.

Sharpe:  Yeah. When we were researching this book people would give us tips.
   You might say, "we know this person..."  We visited several houses, we
   started to call these houses "clutter houses."  They're houses that people,
   they're kinda collectors who just can't stop, and their houses are filled
   with stuff.  Some of them are photographable and they're kinda nice and
   others, after you're in there a while, you just want to get away from these
   people.  Some people are creative with it and some people are just obsessive
   about filling their house with stuff.  "Come on over here," and in the
   corner they've got 14 stuffed alligator legs, and then they open up a drawer
   and they've got coasters from every bar in Petaluma, California, and over
   the sink they've got something else.  It kind of interesting for a few
   minutes.  Sandra and I would be sitting there just thinking "Let's get in
   the car and get away from these people."

Cosmik: Well like Diz's Place.

Sharpe:  Yes, one of the rooms in the book is this woman Diz McNally, she
   lives in Hollywood.

     
        *                        *                              *


DIZ'S PLACE (from Weird Rooms):

The good thing about my bedroom is that it's really dark in here. I have gels
covering the windows -- red, pink, blue. They come from movie sets I've
worked on. I never know what time it is or whether it's rainy or sunny. It's
a Hollywood showbiz thing that Norma Desmond would have done, or Norma
Dizmond, as I call her.

I have thousands of pictures stapled to the walls. It started with one photo
of Robert De Niro; then it spread. One wall is a celebrity wall, and another
is a fashion wall. I subscribe to nine magazines, like Bambino, W, and
Cosmopolitan, and each month I cut out hundreds of new pictures and staple
them to the ceiling. I have more than three thousand pictures of clothes I
want to wear some day. I want to be a high-fashion model. I also have a
Marilyn shrine, A Wizard of Oz shrine, and a family shrine.

By the way, my father, back in Massachusetts, is a sheriff, and his office
walls are covered with photos of famous cops, Mafia guys, and people who have
gone to prison. My mother, a hairdresser, has her walls covered with us kids,
the Kennedy kids, and the Brady Bunch. We've never had white walls. God
forbid!

In my bathroom, or The Can, as I call it the theme is How to Get Ready. In
the kitchen I have two hundred bottles of nail polish in the refrigerator. I
don't cook, so I've been able to cover the stove with hundreds of magnets and
fill the kitchen drawers with Kewpie dolls and pixies. All my furniture is
teeny plastic stuff you can get for ninety-nine cents. The only real thing is
a desk. Friends who come to visit from out of town either shake their heads
in disbelief or say, "Wow. This is better than Grauman's Chinese Theater."
[Diz McNally]


          *                        *                             *


Sharpe: Diz is really creative and I love the picture of her kitchen. She
   has magnets all over the stove of fruit and things like this. But these
   little kewpie dolls that are just poking their heads out of all these
   drawers, it's really bizarre. She is really out there.

Cosmik: You couldn't cook in her kitchen if you wanted to.

Sharpe: No. The strange thing is, I've been thinking of the connection to
   the CD (On the Loose).  The guy who worked in the mailroom at the 213CD
   record company suggested Diz McNally. There's more of a connection between
   this stuff than I ever thought. It's very inspiring. When you look at these
   rooms, it makes you want to decorate your room a little bit more.  I don't
   know about you, Ann, I've never seen your house but do you have any
   inclination to do this sort of thing?

Cosmik: I like clutter.  Life without clutter is too sterile.  Recently I did
   a major excavation. I probably uncovered 6 geologic strata in my house,
   and it's just not the same.  It's clean, it looks gorgeous, but it's not
   the same.

Sharpe: So you're sort of one of these weird room people?

Cosmik: Well I don't know that I would go that far, but I suppose that some
   people who've been to my house would say that it verges on "weird"
   sometimes.

Sharpe: Well me too, my office here has a lot of stuff in it.  You know I
   read in a book that a lot of creative people get a lot of energy from
   having these objects and things around them.  Often when you see pictures
   of authors and writers, you see their studios and their homes. They'll
   have a lot of memorabilia, a lot of artifacts on their desk. I think there's
   something in the creative process about having this material around that's
   stimulating to people who are into creativity.

Cosmik:  Absolutely.  So when you and Coyle were in the coffee shop preparing
   for your day's adventures, just things that you saw around you stimulated
   you?

Sharpe: Yeah, you know that we did a radio show on KGO and a lot of this
   material on the CD is from that radio show.  Our show was on from 7 to 10
   each night on KGO in San Francisco  We needed about 15 pieces every single
   night.  The format of the show was that there was an announcer who would
   announce our segments and then play music, and talk.  You have to be 22
   or 23 years old to do something like that - this was a ton of work.
   Every day we would have to be out in downtown San Francisco from 9 in the
   morning 'til 3:30 in the afternoon when the fog rolled in, recording stuff.
   So we needed a huge number of ideas. It was great training for me.  I'm
   sitting here looking out the window of my house in Berkeley and there's a
   tree, so Coyle and I would write down "human tree." Then we would stop
   someone on the street and say "A man has developed a process where leaves
   can grow from the human head. If you could have attractive leaves growing
   from your head, would you like that?"  That would be a sequence.  Now I'm
   looking at cars.  "Can we borrow your car?"  We did this sequence where
   we stopped someone on the street as they were getting into their car and
   ask if we could borrow it for the weekend and take it over to Tiburon to
   go to brunch. And of course people didn't want to lend us their cars.
   They'd say "You're strangers, we don't know you."  We'd say "That's the
   purpose of it - to develop trust in other human beings, we're going to
   bring the car back and this is going to bond us and make us closer."
   That's it.  We would look out the window and look at objects.  There's a
   gardener working across the street here.  Maybe we would have a thing where
   we had trained a wolverine to be a gardener so you would have this watch
   animal in front of your house which would also plant your gladiolas.

Cosmik: In some of the newer stuff that you're doing now are you still using
   that process?

Sharpe: Yeah, I do it all the time.  I call it "premisizing." It's just really
   a way of thinking about things - it's one way of problem solving.  Let's
   say that I have to do some humorous commercials for AT&T - about telephones.
   Sometimes I just open the Yellow Pages and look at different things. I'll
   say Telephone chiropractors, and then something will just spark in my head
   like AT&T has come up with a new phone, you can plug your phone into a corn
   on your foot...

Cosmik: Highly portable, better than a pager.

Sharpe: Yeah, right. Now the corn on your foot can be a pager with these
   little chips that they develop in Silicon Valley. Put a chip in your corn
   and you don't have to carry around a little beeper.

Cosmik: Or you can put an RJ-11 on your index finger and plug yourself in
   anywhere you go.

Sharpe: That's right.  You can put your finger in your cigarette lighter and
   be on the Internet.

Cosmik: Oooh, I'd like that!

Sharpe: Just creative ways of thinking, putting illogical things together.
   I read the paper, or the Yellow Pages, or look out the window and hook
   things up which become premises for things I'm doing.

Cosmik: Now speaking of Yellow Pages, you're not the person who does the
  Yellow Pages commercial. Is that correct?

Sharpe: Here in the San Francisco area there's a bunch of commercials running
   for the Yellow Pages on television, which are similar to my style, but it's
   not me.  I don't have a patent on any of this stuff. I think over the years
   other people have started to do similar things to what I do.  Commercials
   have always mirrored things that are happening in other aspects of life.

Cosmik:  You told me about a very funny one that you did in Seattle - with a
   clam.

Sharpe: I've just done a radio campaign for Triple A - they wanted to do a
   thing about how you can use the Triple A card to get discounts at various
   hotels.  It's kind of dull to go out on the street and talk about that.
   So we went out and got one of these hideous clams that they have up there
   called geoducks.  They're huge clams that have this huge thing that comes
   out of the front of the clam that is not unlike male genitalia.  Anyhow, I
   had this clammy, hideous thing in a shopping bag and I would stop people
   on the street and ask them how they felt about discounts at hotels.  And
   then if they took this into a hotel do they think they could get a
   discount, and then I open up the bag.  People would just look at it and
   scream, and then we're off talking about discounts and Triple A.

Cosmik: So while they're screaming you're telling them about discounts?

Sharpe: They scream "That's a hideous thing, it's gruesome."  I say "Yeah,
   you wouldn't get a discount with this, but what if you showed your Triple
   A card at a Hilton Hotel?"  They say "Oh well, yeah with a Triple A card."
   So you end up on the street lugging around geoduks, your car is always
   stinking, with these props...

Cosmik: There you have it, the life of Mal Sharpe in the '90s - and the
   weirdness continues... I'd like to talk about another room from the book,
   the Rolls-Royce Room.


        *                        *                              *


THE ROLLS-ROYCE ROOM (from Weird Rooms):

Just call me Schultz, no first name. Everyone in my German family was named
Robert. My mother got sick of it and simplified it to The Schultz. When I
turned eighteen, I dropped the "The."  While I was growing up on a farm in
Nebraska, my stern father didn't allow me to have things like teddy bears;
that was "poppycock!"  "When you're older, you can have those things." Well,
now that I'm older, I have them.

I've lived on a half acre of land here on the Oakland estuary for more than a
decade, but the room you're looking at was just finished about a year ago. As
a matter of fact, last New Year's Eve this room had only a dirt floor; weeds
were growing up all around my 1933 Rolls-Royce Phantom II.  The walls, the
paintings, the chandeliers, and the ceiling all were here, but there was no
floor -- just dirt.  In fact, on New Year's Eve a friend and I built a big,
roaring bonfire, right in the middle of this room.

The room was constructed with salvaged material from old waterfront
structures. When they'd tear things down, I'd sneak out in the middle of the
night and get the timbers. The trusses in the ceiling came from the Sohio Oil
company. I acquired them when the company finished building portable
structures for the Alaska pipeline. The corrugated roof came from the naval
supply depot. I told the guy I needed a few pieces.  He said, "Schultz, for a
fifth of brandy you can have the whole thing." The walls were designed for a
walk-in cooler. All the decor is other people's garbage, stuff I found at
flea markets. There's a painting here of the famous Japanese woodcarver Ito.
He would carve lifelike human heads and then used his subjects' real hair for
the eyebrows.

So, as you can see, my childhood dreams have come true. I've got the teddy
bears, the model airplanes, and the toy cars. But guess what? Having done all
this, I've gone into a new psychological mode. Everything you see here --
everything I've envied -- can now be yours. I'm selling it. I want other
people to experience the happiness I had when I found it. The world is a
hostile place.  I'm keeping this room open for others to share.


          *                        *                              *


Sharpe: That really surprised us.  He's got so many incredible objects in
   this room over in the Oakland Estuary.  Now he's just selling it.  The
   people we interviewed for the Weird Rooms book were quite interesting,
   quite creative and quite open, even though they were quite isolated they
   were quite open to sharing their lives and their worlds with other people.

Cosmik: They didn't mind you photographing?  Were there people whose rooms
   you wanted to include who didn't want to have their stuff photographed?

Sharpe: No.  Everybody made these things and they were really proud of them.
   These were really creative objects, and to think that someone else would
   be interested in them was very exciting.  We've given the book to a number
   of the people included in it, and they're thrilled that their creation is
   getting this exposure.  It's really something that they do for themselves
   and maybe for their friends. But they just are so attached to it. These
   are rooms and things a museum generally wouldn't be interested in.  These
   people aren't well known, they're not big names or celebrities.

Cosmik: They have all kinds of things.  There's an Elvis Room, and there's a
   Kennedy Room and there's a Smiley Face Room - all kinds of stuff.  What
   about the guy from Italy who painted those murals, those are pretty amazing.

Sharpe: Now this is Carlos Marchioni.  His work is on the cover of the book.
   He is an amazing artist.  The cover of the book is a cat looking out at the
   reader.  This is Carlos' guest room, and what he did was to paint a huge
   cat on the wall.  It's like you're inside a birdcage and you're looking out.
   If you're the guest sleeping in the bed, you're the bird and the huge cat
   is staring at you through the chickenwire.  Everyone looking at the cover
   of the book thinks the chickenwire is real, but Carlos is such an amazing
   artist that it's all trompe l'oeil -- the chickenwire and the cat behind
   it and the shrubbery.  This guy is a creative genius and he lives up in
   Calistoga.  He does murals for the Raffles Hotel in Singapore. His house
   is really amazing.

Cosmik: So the chickenwire isn't real.

Sharpe: No. Did you think the chickenwire was real?

Cosmik: Actually, I did think the chickenwire was real. I think the idea of
   staying in a birdcage which is somebody's guestroom would not sit well
   with me.

Sharpe: Well that was his idea: if you have a guest room and you only want
   guests to stay for 3 days, you make them a little uncomfortable and have
   this cat look at them like he's going to eat them.

Cosmik: I'd like to close up playing "Living in Walls;" as long as we're
   talking about "Weird Rooms" we should also talk about living in walls.

Sharpe: I want to thank you, Ann.  You've actually pulled together, out of
   such weird materials - you've actually made a show out of this that has
   some continuity. I appreciate it.

Cosmik: And you're surprised about that?

Sharpe: I didn't see some of these connections.  Thanks a lot!


     *                        *                              *


LIVING IN WALLS (Coyle & Sharpe):


Sharpe: Can we have your name please.

Passerby: Rosemary Farnell.

Coyle: Rosemary, as you know, a great number of social observers have made
   the claim that currently one of our problems is overpopulation.  Have you
   heard this claim?

Rosemary: Yes I have.

Coyle: It has been further pointed out that there isn't a sufficient amount
   of housing for all of the human beings that we're going to have to house.
   Do you think you would go along with a plan that would advocate a more
   efficient use of an apartment building in a large city, in terms of allowing
   the apartment building to house more people than it generally would.

Rosemary: No.

Coyle: Why is that?

Rosemary: Well apartment buildings now seem to be overcrowded and dangerous
   to the people that live in them now.

Sharpe: No this would mean no overcrowding for the people living in the
   apartments themselves.

Coyle: This would be a fuller utilization of the building itself. It wouldn't
   necessarily be a fuller utilization of the apartments. The idea now, which
   sounds at first we could even used the term 'unorthodox,' is to use the
   wall areas in the apartments.  In other words, let's assume that you were
   living in an apartment in one of these experimental buildings, in the walls
   adjacent to your apartment would be living other people. Would you feel
   comfortable if you knew others were living in the walls of the building
   that you lived in?

Rosemary: No.

Sharpe: Why is that, Rosemary?

Rosemary: I'd feel very uncomfortable. It wouldn't be private to ...

Coyle: They wouldn't be in your apartment, you realize.

Rosemary: Yes, I know that, I understand that.

Coyle: Have you ever had the experience of living in an apartment building
   and hearing  a noise in the wall?

Rosemary: Yes.

Coyle: And what did you think when you heard it?

Rosemary: It's very annoying.

Coyle: Did you think that it might be a person?

Rosemary: Oh yes, yes I know it's persons - uh people.

Coyle: Never rodents?

Rosemary: No.

Coyle: Would you be willing to be one of the first people to approach this
   on a pioneering basis? Would you be willing to move into a wall in an
   apartment building? Behind the wall of somebody else's apartment?

Rosemary: I couldn't say "yes" and I couldn't say "no" until I knew more
   about it.

Sharpe: Oh you would have your complete facilities there, living facilities.
   You would have normal quarters set up. Certain areas of the wall would be
   designated as your livingroom, your bedroom, your kitchen. You'd just have
   to squeeze from one area to another. They wouldn't be the normal width,
   but it would be the same sort of room setup.

Rosemary: It's more or less like a trailer.  A trailer's long.

Coyle: Do you understand what you would be doing?

Rosemary: Yes!

Coyle:  Can you tell us in your own words?

Rosemary: Well I'd be living in smaller quarters...

Sharpe: Where?

Rosemary: confined quarters...

Sharpe: Where?

Rosemary: In walls.

Coyle: Yeah.

Rosemary: No windows.

Coyle: No windows. No.

Rosemary: No windows.

Coyle: No.

Rosemary: No, I could say "no" right now.

Sharpe: What if you actually had your relatives living in the apartment
   adjacent to your wall? That would be a very nice situation. In other words
   you would just have to come out of, let's say you made a door where the
   ventilator normally is, and you could visit with them. In other words your
   whole family could live in the confines of probably one normal apartment
   house unit. Isn't that true?

Rosemary: Yes it is. I wouldn't want to live that close to them anyway, to
   my relatives...

Coyle: Would you prefer that they live in the wall area and you live in the
   apartment? Be honest.

Rosemary: Yes, yes.

Coyle: And you would prefer what?

Rosemary: Living in the apartment and they have the wall facilities.

Coyle: In other words you would favor creating a situation where your
   relatives would live behind the walls of your apartment.

Rosemary: That's right.

Sharpe: And if people came to visit you and you were living in the apartment,
   and suddenly some noise came from behind the wall - you were a little
   embarrassed there was this tremendous clunking sound and the guest said to
   you "What was that terrible noise?"  What would you say?

Rosemary: I'd tell them that my relatives were living behind the walls.
   Confined quarters, uncomfortable...

Coyle: With rodents.

Rosemary: With rodents.

Coyle: And would you ask them to step in and visit your relatives?

Rosemary: Well my friends, I think, would understand, and I'd ask them to
   step in and visit my relatives.


[CD:  Coyle & Sharpe On the Loose   213 CD   1-800-992-1361

Weird Rooms by Mal and Sandra Sharpe and Alexander Vertikoff published by
Pomegranate Artbooks ]


---------------------------------------------------------------------------

OUR FAVORITE THINGS: The Staff Picks Their Top Fives
By the Cosmik Debris staff

As the new year approacheth, it's time to take a look back on the great
releases of the past year.  The entire staff of Cosmik Debris was invited
to take part, and most did.  A few had pressing matters to attend to. The
object was for each writer to choose their five favorite releases of the
year.  A simple task, you might think.  Of course, you'd be wrong.  Since
we all practically live for music, trying to narrow it all down to five
CDs, records or tapes is at first frustrating and eventually simply annoying.
But it can be done, and it was.  

The only set-in-stone rule was that selections must have been released between
November 1st 1995, and October 31st 1996.  This is because we wanted to have
a full year of material to choose from.  You'll notice a bit of anarchy in
this collection.  Some of us wrote intros, some wrote outros, some wrote 
fairly long descriptions of each selection, and some didn't write ANY 
descriptions.  We've left each writers text pretty much the way they wrote
it, so there's quite a diversity of style here.  Well, if that ain't typical 
Cosmik Debris, what is?  Here are the results of this little experiment. 

                      
                 *                 *                   *

ANN ARBOR:


TRANCE MISSION: Headlight (City of Tribes)

Beth Custer (clarinets, trumpet, chistu, voice, ocarina, bells, sticks),
Stephen Kent (didgeridoos, cello-sintir, ngoma, shakers, bowed cymbal,
click-sticks, log drums, clapping), John Loose (frame drums, tars, bendirs,
dumbeks, kanjira, log drums, tablas, spirit chaser, illimba, shakers, samples
& loops) and Kenneth Newby (suling, p'iri, clapping, log drums, samples and
max objects: solar winds, bamboo gamelan, prepared siter, klunting - clay
pot) are Trance Mission, a global melange of people, instruments and musical
styles. What is intriguing about Trance Mission is its very distinct sound
which stems from the rudiments of various musical traditions: Australian
aboriginal, African drumming and trance, Asian percussion, and others.  The
two previous albums "Trance Mission" and "Meanwhile" established Trance
Mission as superb musicians "ethno-techno with heart, soul and brains."
Kent's dijeridoo playing and Loose's multi-continental percussion were the
central forces in the first 2 CDs. "Headlight" like its predecessors, is a
thing of beauty: rich, deep, smoky, penetrating tracks featuring clever
instrumental blendings.  It sounds more West African, reminiscent of Les
Gnawa du Maroc. When I interviewed him, Kent said that a major difference in
this CD is that he's playing the cello strapped on and strummed like a guitar
and not as much didgeridoo. Call this the musical equivalent of continental
drift.


SPACETIME CONTINUUM: Emit Ecaps (Astralwerks)

Scottish ex-pat Jonah Sharpe is the mastermind behind Reflective Records and
Spacetime Continuum, a San Francisco electronic outfit.  Emit Ecaps
(Spacetime backwards) is the third Spacetime Continuum album, it is less of
the chilly ambient on the first two.  It is reminiscent of Black Dog and yet
has its own distinct almost underwater sound with sideward beats, angled
melodies,  and intelligent jungle breaks. It's as if you are listening to
this CD through water. 10 tracks of aural watery distortion with brilliant
syncopations throughout. Listen for what sound like watery Asian strings
which subsequently mutate into syncopated forks & knives (Kairo), a
soundtrack to a suspenseful outer space/underwater fantasy (Simm City), funky
underwater organ (Funkyar), Mr. Rogers' underwater xylophones (Swing
Fantasy), upbeat warped syncopations (Vertigo), bells, bees and hollow claps
(Twister). The Continuum extends into new realms.


DOCTOR ROCKIT: The Music of Sound (Clear)

Matthew Herbert a/k/a Doctor Rockit has actually surpassed last year's "Ready
to Rockit."  The Music of Sound is a gentle, rollicking, rhythmic romp and
dance playing with many kinds of sound.  Especially captivating is "Granny
Delicious"(track 6) in which the key element is someone eating an apple.
Another beauty is Cafe Beograd (track 2) gypsy accordio-technosity.  Many
people have made music out of found sound, the fresh, playful, originalness
of Herbert's approach distinguishes him from the others. Sow's ears turned
into silk purses.


UP BUSTLE and OUT: One Color Just Reflects another (NinjaTune)

A wonderful mix of South American scenes and Bristol (U.K.) style Acid
Jazz/Trip Hop. Up, Bustle and Out combines beats, South American ambience
(traffic, street vendors, bicycles) and instruments, saxophone, keyboards,
and occasional vocals. Recorded in Bolivia, Peru, Turkey, The Forest of Dean
and Bristol - Up Bustle and Out have staged the scene, developed the scenario
and challenge the listener to feel the music and feel their experiences
through it. Each track has its own distinct persona - like a collection of
chivalrous tales.  This is ethno trip hop with the spirit of Cervantes.


U. UTAH PHILLIPS & ANI DIFRANCO: The Past Didn't Go Anywhere  
(Righteous Babe Music)

The inimitable storytelling, ranting and reciting of U. Utah Phillips set to
music by Ani DiFranco.  Ani condensed hundreds of hours of taped concerts
over a 20 year time span into 12 tracks and added a superb soundtrack:  music
and vocal loops, rhythmic riffs, guitar tweekage, Rev. Jesse Jackson pleading
"please forgive me," train sounds, even General Douglas MacArthur as an intro
to the story about Korea (3).

Who is U. Utah Phillips?  He's a folksinger a la Woody Guthrie, or Pete
Seeger - best known for "Moose Turd Pie." He rode the rails with the hobos
and tramps in the 1950s (track 6). He was a political activist working for
Civil Rights in Mississippi in the '60s, and later ran for the Senate from
Utah on the Peace and Freedom ticket.  He talks about Anarchy (4)- he's an
"anarchist pacifist," running for president (5) "our best Presidents were the
do nothing ones."  Utah's son wonders in less eloquent terms (track 3): "How
is it that you are fundamentally alienated from the entire institutional
structure of society?"

Utah, describes himself in my favorite track (2) as "part proprietor of a new
age bookstore in Nevada City, CA." At 61, he has traded his earlier life for
a new age men's drumming group who "swing from the trees, steal sheep,
caterwaul, and drag their scrotums through the underbrush." Call these
post-industrial campfire stories.

REVERB CENTRAL (KFJC)

My colleague and good friend Phil Dirt dug deep into his archives and emerged
with 16 tracks of live surf band recordings dating from 1966 to 1996. Known
as Reverb Central, this CD was distributed as a fundraiser thank you gift by
KFJC Radio.  Dirt is one of the world's authorities on surf music, knows all
the bands on a first name basis, produces live surf concerts several times
each year, but probably more than anything, loves recording live bands.
Reverb Central is a veritable Who's Who of first rate surf bands. Each track
is a beauty. It starts off with the Mermen's "My Black Bag," followed by the
Penetrators' "The Wind Beneath My Kilt." Other favorites include Brazil
2001's "Cactus" which features Bernard Yin whistling, and The Reventlos'
"Planet Reventlo." Call this one: From Dirt with Love.



                 *              *                  *


CAI CAMPBELL:

Another year come and gone.  Time, like music, is a fluid concept,
the flow of which imbues the mind with treasured memories,
bittersweet romances, and tinges of regret.  But music is timeless,
and in my eyes, the best music of 1996 was not actually created in
1996.

1.  The Beatles - Anthology 2

The entire Anthology series burst wide open the previously hidden
world of The Beatles as they honed their craft on stage and in the
studio.  Until now, only the lucky few with access to illegal
recordings had the opportunity to peer into this forbidden world.
This exciting look into the creative process of the finest band in
the world is enough for me to rank this series as the best of 1996,
but the second Anthology stands out, as it deftly illustrates the
progression and maturity of the Beatles as world-class musicians.

2.  Nirvana - Nevermind

A mere five years after its initial release, Nevermind is seen as a
true classic.  The sonic energy and angst-ridden beauty of this
recording comes to full fruition with Mobile Fidelity's stunning
1996 reissue on their Original Master Recording series of quality
vinyl LP's and gold compact discs.  Listening to this exceptional
recording on either of these newly issued formats literally allows
you to experience this powerful music for the very first time.

3.  Cream - Fresh Cream

Thirty years after its initial release, the music on this remastered
LP produced by DCC Compact Classics proves the worth of Cream as
innovators and psychedelic pioneers.  The music transcends those
labels and does indeed sound very "fresh."  DCC have outdone
themselves on this 1996 reissue and the sonic clarity and depth push
the power of this music into territory previously unheard of.

4.  Frank Zappa - Civilization Phaze III

The Zappa Universe is far and wide-ranging.  It also envelopes
repeating elements which tie the craziness together in some depraved
and invigorating way.  The ripples of this cosmic strangeness will
surely be felt for years to come.  With this double-disc set, the
concept is brought to bear by combining a bizarre 1966 studio
experiment (where Frank directed people to say strange things into a
piano) with modern day avant-garde Synclavier compositions.  The
experiment pays off as both a concept enriching the Zappa Universe
and an awesome display of Frank's seemingly endless wealth of
talent.

5.  Dead Can Dance - Spiritchaser

Dead Can Dance have been weaving their spell of intoxicating middle
eastern and American Indian rhythms mixed with English folk
sensibilities for years.  The 1996 release of Spiritchaser captures
the team of Brendan Perry and Lisa Gerrard in top form as they
captivate the listener with their musical spells and carry them to
worlds hitherto unknown.

So there we have it.  For me, the best music of 1996 spans
generations, worlds, and consciousness itself.  "Turn off your mind,
relax, and float downstream.  It is not dying."


                 *              *                  *


coLeSLAw:

In an industry known for spewing out immeasurable one-hit wonders devoid of
life and true passion for sound, coming up with five releases worthy of being
called "the years best" can be a lot like looking for a needle in a haystack
in a barn on a hay-farming colony on a planet somewhere deep in a solar
system full of hay-farming colonies in the cloudy Horsehead nebula. The album
must be able to stand the test of time; to draw you to it rather than relying
on music industry marketing brainwashers to convince you that you are
enjoying it.

Guess what? Mr. Picky found some (in no particular order)...

SUPER SONIC SOUL PIMPS: Super Sonic Soul Pimps (self-released)

Butt-funky and sporting alien DNA, the Soul Pimps have a knack for ripping
off everyone from Led Zeppelin, Parliament and Edgar Winter Group and
ending up sounding like.....themselves. The self-incriminating humor of songs
like "The Day I Became Cool", "Otto E. Roticize" and "Singles Ad" confirm
that the boys will never take themselves seriously while continuing to sound
like the best musicians alive today.

http:\\www.eskimo.com\~sssp
sssp@eskimo.com


TORTOISE: Millions Now Living Will Never Die (Thrill Jockey Records)

Defying classification of any kind, this five piece flows between ambient
dub, instrumental lounge ballads and rockabilly spy jazz with a seemingly
straight-faced calmness balanced equally with playful noodling. Add to that
the impressive 20+ minute epic "Djed," which serves as the album opener and
contestant for High Duke to the King that is Floyd's "Echoes."  One of the
most truly original releases in the last decade.

Thrill Jockey Records PO Box 476794 Chicago, Il. 60647-6794
Tortoise PO Box 477689 Chicago, Il. 60647-7689


ROBERT RICH: A Troubled Resting Place (Fathom Records)

Whether ye be synthesist or not, no one can put out as much sound as Robert
Rich. His rich (no pun intended) tones fill voids within your inner soul
while managing to create brand new ones. Both beautiful and haunting, this
collection of previously released tracks fuses with synergy into a
perfect brain-bending album. With Rich's help, the human race will soon
rediscover its primordial musical roots.

www.fathomusic.com
Robert Rich homepage: www.amoeba.com/rrich/rr.html


HALCYON DAYS: Halcyon Days (Fathom Records)

The magic behind this music equates to visualizing the sonic transformation
of a dead and silent desert into one lush and verdant through means unknown
to mortals. Bringing with them an already impressive history individually,
Steve Roach, Stephen Kent and Kenneth Newby together create sounds as old
and mystical as desert elves, and as powerful as ancient dances of healing.
Prepare to be changed.

www.fathomusic.com


SIXTEEN HORSEPOWER: Sixteen Horsepower (A&M Records)

I have never liked country. I think most country music is poo-doo. So why in
the hell should I like these guys? Because regardless of what style of music
they are playing, they seem to be among the most inspired musicians recording
today. All the themes addressed in the 13 tracks scream 'country,' but with a
poetry lacking from all else and with a dark twisted sense never imagined for
the genre. I've been humbled. Hand me those shit-kickers, let's swing.

A&M Records, Inc. PO Box 118 Hollywood, Ca. 90078


                 *              *                  *


ROBERT CUMMINGS:

Smile, then brace yourself for these picks. Before you bludgeon me with 
sledge-hammered e-mail salvos for overlooking your favorite, dear Cosmik 
readers, I kindly remind you that a mere mortal can't hear or purchase 
everything new, nor can he compose a list of five (or even twenty-five) 
recordings of the year in classical music without egregious omissions. But
let me assure you the five I've listed (with absolutely no prejudice, of 
course) are outstanding, and each heads a category of sorts. 

PROKOFIEV: The Fiery Angel, op. 37. Galina Gorchakova, Sergei Leiferkus, et.
al.Kirov Chorus and Orchestra, St. Petersburg, conducted by Valery Gergiev. 
(PHILIPS 446 078-2)

This weird opera thrillingly rouses the senses under Gergiev's scorching 
baton. The singers are first rate in this Prokofiev masterpiece.


BEETHOVEN: String Quartet No. 13 in B Flat Major, Op. 130; Grosse Fuge, 
Op. 133.  Brandis Quartet (NIMBUS NI 5465)

My chamber selection of the year. A magnificent work in a magnificent
performance!


CHOPIN: Twelve Etudes, Op. 10; Twelve Etudes, Op. 25; Three New Etudes, 
Op. Posth. Yukio Yokoyama, Piano. (SONY SK 62605)

Perhaps the most obvious choice. This is pianism of the highest order!

  
SIBILIUS: Symphony No. 3 in C, Op. 52; The Swan of Tuonela, Op.22, No. 3; 
Karelia Suite, Op. 11; Valse triste, Op. 44, No. 1; Finlandia, Op. 26.  
The Pittsburgh Symphony Orchestra conducted by Lorin Maazel. (SONY SK 61963)

A sparkling performance of the symphony and unique readings of the shorter
works. Vintage Maazel. 

 
PROKOFIEV: Symphony No. 5 in B Flat, Op. 100; The Year 1941, Op. 90. 
National Symphony Orchestra of Ukraine conducted by Theodore Kuchar. 
(NAXOS 8.553056)

Among budget releases, this has to be one of the bargains of the year.



                 *              *                  *


SHAUN DALE:

AAARGH! "Best of"!?! Only five!?!

Jeez, I hate doing "Best of"'s, and five picks is almost impossible.
I've heard a lot of great music this year - a quick list of 50 or so
would be more reasonable, but hey, I'm a professional.  I can rise to
the challenge.  Just don't try this at home, kids...

Herewith, in no particular order:

THE MILES DAVIS QUINTET: Workin' (DCC Jazz)

This has been a stellar year for jazz reissues.  If there is one single 
reason to love CD's it must be the reissue of so much classic music in the
new format.  This could just as easily have been any of the other Miles
Davis Quintet releases I've reviewed this year (including "Relaxin'," 
"Cookin'" and "Steamin'."  Any band consisting of Miles, Coltrane, Red 
Garland, Paul Chambers and "Philly" Joe Jones is going to produce music of
reasonably consistent excellence.  This disc gets the nod over the others
because of my partiality to the dominance of blues oriented cuts.

 
THE OSCAR PETERSON TRIO WITH MILT JACKSON: Very Tall (Verve)

My pick for the "cool jazz" release of the year - this year and most any
year since it was originally issued in 1962.  Jackson enhances everything I
love about Oscar Peterson and tones down some of his occasional excesses.
The band absolutely cooks, and the swing arrangement of "John Brown's Body"
belongs on everyone's music shelf.


STORYVILLE: A Piece Of Your Soul (Atlantic/Code Blue)

The Austin, Texas equivalent of a super group, bringing together veterans of
Stevie Ray Vaughn's Double Trouble, the Joe Ely Band, John Mellencamp's band
and more together behind the best new soul voice of the decade in Malford 
Milligan.  Great original sounds, expert musicianship - totally satisfying.


COCOA TEA: Israel's King (VP):

The one reggae album I've turned to over and over this year.  Cocoa Tea's
soulful voice, wonderfully conscious songs and an all star band led by Sly 
Dunbar keep pushing this one to the top of my stack.


DOWN BY LAW: All Scratched Up (Epitaph)

Just the best damn punk album I've heard in years.  Punk anthems, punk love
songs, punk thrashes to fill your heart with punk joy.  Down By Law may be
the only band in the country that could get me to spend a Saturday night in
an all ages club with people younger than my kids.  This album provided the 
reason to do just that.

(Honorable mentions would include LA rocker Beth Hart, the South African
techno marvels Qkumba Zoo and damn near anything DCC Jazz has put on disc 
this year, but I'm outta here before the editor notices I'm cheating...)



                 *              *                  *


PHIL DIRT:

The Fathoms "Fathomless" (AVI)
Various Artists "Cowabunga the Surf Box" (Rhino)
Brazil 2001 "Fist Full Of Sand" (B2K1)
Jon & the Nightriders "Fiberglass Rocket"
GT Stringer "Gasser" (Tremolo 10)

Brightest new hopes for '97

The California SurfKings (Tom Stanton)
The Berzerkers
The Ten Penny Heroes
Vibrasonic
The Cadillac Angels


                 *              *                  *


KEITH GILLARD:


I spend my days making music, writing songs, producing other people's 
material, mixing, remixing, programming, arranging... you name it.  This
has had the unfortunate side effect of making me extremely picky about 
music.  I hate 90% of everything that's released in every genre.  But the
few percent that I like - well, I'm passionate about them!  Here are five 
that stood above the rest:

1) PET SHOP BOYS: Bilingual (London / Atlantic)

I fully expected to love this album, and the Pet Shop Boys did not 
disappoint.  The Latin and Scottish percussion which pervade half the 
album always get my feet tapping, and I have always been partial to 
showtune-style songwriting.  Of particular note is the ballad, "It always
comes as a surprise", with its fantastic melody, chord structure, and
subtle sampling of Astrud Gilberto.


2) VARIOUS ARTISTS: Red Hot + Rio (???)

Speaking of Astrud Gilberto, she appeared on this brilliant tribute to
Antonio Carlos Jobim, an AIDS benefit disc in the ongoing Red Hot series.
All styles, from Brazilian traditional and jazz ballad, to breakbeat and
dub are represented here, with contributions from such people as Everything
But The Girl, Sting, Ryuichi Sakamoto, David Byrne, George Michael, and 
Tom Jobim himself.  I can't get enough of this incredible disc.


3) ELECTRONIC: Raise the Pressure (London)

What do you get when you make a group out of members of New Order, the
Smiths, and Kraftwerk?  Brilliant synth-pop with fantastic guitar hooks,
strong structured melodies and fantastic sounds.  It sounds more like a
New Order record than previous Electronic material, but has that wonderful
Johnny Marr bittersweet guitar edge.


4) 808 STATE: Don Solaris (ZZT)

With four years between albums, 808 State had built up expectations way 
past the point of reason.  But somehow they managed to produce an album
which surpassed all expectations, projecting their style further into the
future.  Elements of jazz, world beat, and pop merge with techno elements
of every genre (house, acid, drum'n'bass, trance, hardcore, you name it),
combining for a transcendent musical experience.


5) MOMUS: Slender Sherbet (Cherry Red)

Slender Sherbet re-visits some of Momus' best material from the 1980's,
treating them surprisingly tenderly.  If you want to hear some brilliant
songwriting about off-centre subject matter, Slender Sherbet should be at
the top of your shopping list. Momus has actually released another album 
in 1996, but it falls outside of the dates for this "best-of".


In addition to my top 5, I'd like to tip my hat to 1996 in general for a 
couple of musical breakthroughs:  1) The return of lounge and exotica as 
acceptable musical forms. 2) Synthesizer doesn't seem to be a dirty word
any more.  


                 *              *                  *


DJ JOHNSON:

Due to my reviewing schedule, I usually stop listening to an album as soon
as I've reviewed it -- even very very good albums!  Have to.  Not enough 
time, too many more to review.  So any album that I'm still listening to
on a regular basis long after I've reviewed it has to be better than very
very good.  Here, in no particular order, are the five that I can't get 
enough of.

TEISCO DEL REY: Music For Lovers (Upstart)

I received this CD of fantastic instrumentals in December of '95, a month
before its official release, and I'm still playing it quite often a year later. 
Flawless musicianship, great guest performances, and savvy song selection make 
this an unforgettable album.  Teisco is one of the most talented guitarists
I've ever heard, and this album manages to showcase all of that talent.


THE DESCENDENTS: Everything Sucks (Epitaph)

One of the greatest melodic punk bands around, The Descendents turned in 
this collection of highly personal songs only a few months ago, but it's 
so good that I'm sure it'll survive the test of time and remain a fave 
forever.  I was able to relate to nearly every song -- something I don't
think I can say about any other album. Power + intelligence + hooks = classic.


CULTURE: One Stone (Ras)

Easily the most exquisite reggae album of the year.  Joseph Hill continues
to observe and report the injustice and hardship in Jamaica with the 
sensitivity and wisdom of a true sage.  If you're still unclear as to what
"conscious" means in reggae music, here is your textbook.


THE BASEMENT BRATS: The Bratbeat (That's Entertainment)

Those of you who have been reading my reviews for the past few years won't
be surprised to see this one in here.  Simply put, my favorite rock and roll
band in the world.  Why?  Are they better than anyone else?  Naw, not in a
technical sense... but there's an energy and spirit factor that's way off
the gauge.  This release isn't quite as hot as Curse Of The Brats, but that
one didn't get released until this month, so it wasn't in the running.  It's
a personal thing, I admit, but I'd put the Brats' weakest recording on this
list above anyone elses strongest.  


JAC ZINDER: Chairs I Have Known (Catasonic)

This is the CD that brought me back around to exotica, and while I like a
lot of what's been rereleased from that era, I still prefer the off-center
sounds of the late Jac Zinder.  He recorded this stuff when it was totally
socially unacceptable (in the 80's and 90's) and he never achieved true
fame, but after his death in a car accident, his friends gathered his 
homemade tapes and made this dream come true.  


I'd list some honorable mentions, but it would be too tempting to just keep
writing!  There was some great music this year, that's for sure.


                 *              *                  *


STEVE MARSHALL:


PATTI SMITH: Gone Again (Arista)

Smith's latest CD, Gone Again, is a vital and compelling new collection of 
songs from one of rock's most important artists, and her first in eight
years. The title track--which was also the last song written with her late
husband, Fred "Sonic" Smith--is a forceful rocker and one of the many 
highlights on the disc. "About a Boy" (dedicated to Kurt Cobain) and Smith's
cover of Dylan's "Wicked Messenger" are excellent as well. 
 

DADA: El Subliminoso (I.R.S.)

The first time I heard this CD, I thought it was great. When you listen to
El Subliminoso, you'll hear influences from a host of artists--sometimes
several within a single cut. They rock out, they play acoustic tracks, they
harmonize well together, and all three band members are excellent musicians.
This California trio is truly at their peak right now. The more you hear
this CD, the better it gets. 


ERIC JOHNSON: Venus Isle (Capitol)

Venus Isle contains eleven new songs in a wide variety of musical styles. 
It had been six years since his last release, but it was well worth the 
wait. Johnson's multi-textured guitar work on the CD is stunning. While his
playing can seem a bit self-indulgent at times, Venus Isle is a brilliant
new album that you don't want to miss. 


LOVE IN REVERSE: I Was Here (Reprise)

Love in Reverse gets my personal vote for Best New Artist of 1996. I Was
Here is a unique combination of acoustic songs, guitar rock, atmospheric
electronics, industrial grunge and dark, brooding lyrical imagery. The songs
on the CD are filled with great hooks, yet unexpected turns abound. This
band may still be relatively unknown, but their superior songwriting and
musicianship make them a band to watch in the future. 


PHISH: Billy Breathes (Elektra)

Phish's latest studio effort is their most cohesive and focused album to
date. For a band known for its long improvisational jams in concert, this
CD is over much too quickly. By the time you get to the end, all you want
to do is hit the play button again. The tunes on Billy Breathes cover a lot
of musical ground, yet manage to retain a keen sense of musical accessibility. 
Forget all the comparisons, this is a band that has clearly come into its 
own.


                 *              *                  *


PAUL REMINGTONK

MERIDIAN ARTS ENSEMBLE: Five (Channel Classics Records CCS 9496)

A magnificent collection of compositions by five modern composers: Ira 
Taxin, Stephen Barber, Jan Radzynski, David Sampson, and Peter Robles. The
Meridian Arts Ensemble's performance is prodigious, and the works are 
timeless. The liner notes provide detailed information about each composer,
and a historical background of each work. Adventurous and imperative - if 
you're a lover of compositions for brass quintet, "Five" scores a 10!

FRANK ZAPPA: The Lost Episodes (Ryko RCD 40573)

One of Zappa's last projects before his death in 1993, The Lost Episodes
contains quintessential works spanning his entire career. The disk walks us 
through his personal music history through unreleased tracks, orchestral 
interludes, the Synclavier, and even a visit by the police to Zappa's studio.
All tracks segue in the natural and unique style Zappa perfected. These lost
episodes certainly have been found, and are an essential purchase for the
Zappa fan and the Zappa neophyte.


LYLE WORKMAN: Purple Passages (Immune Records 1006)

Former Rundgren guitarist Lyle Workman released this solo work in a near-solo
fashion. Workman takes complete command of his compositional skills by 
producing eight stunning pieces firmly forged in a high level of musicianship.
Workman's guitar playing explores all areas: complex chordal and harmonic
playing, beautiful and sensitive melodies, and cutting solos. Purple Passages
is an exquisite release for any fan of solid and mature rock guitar.


GIOCHINO ROSSINI: La Cenerentola (The Cinderella) 
(Teatro Comunale di Bologna, Conductor: Riccardo Chailly 
London Records: CD: London 436 902-2 - Video: London 440 071 544-3)

Rossini's comic opera comes to life in this release featured on both CD and
Video. Mezzo sopranist Cecilia Bartoli is joined by a superb supporting cast
that includes Enzo Dara, William Mautteuzzi, Alessandro Corbelli, and Michele
Pertusi. Bartoli's interpretation and performance is unparalleled, and her
vocal abilities scale Rossini's most difficult passages with astounding 
accuracy and controlled relaxation. As young as Bartoli is, she has established
herself as one of the great mezzo sopranists of our time. On audio or video,
this production of La Cenerentola is the best of 1996.


GUSTAV MAHLER: Symphony #10 - Harold Farberman conducts the Philharmonia 
Hungarica (Golden String Records GSCD024A)

Gustav Mahler died before completing the score of his 10th symphony. With
orchestration complete for almost half the work, the door was open for others
to take a stab at completing Mahler's symphony. In April of 1983, composer
Clinton Carpenter's version of Mahler's 10th was premiered, but remained 
unreleased. Golden String has released the premier of Carpenter's version 
of Mahler's 10th with a performance that is excellent, the sound is very
good, and the historical value of this disk makes it a must buy for any
collector of Gustav Mahler's music.



                 *              *                  *


JOHN SEKERKA:


CRACKER: The Golden Age (Virgin)

Cracker shun recent back to basics trends and dish out an over the top mega
rock opus. From the opening screech of the anti anthem 'I Hate My Generation,'
to the gin soaked drawl of 'Big Dipper,' Cracker give us a greatest hits 
package that pinballs all over the place yet never fails to keep my attention.
The addition of House of Freaks skin-pounder Johnny Hott completes the 
jigsaw puzzle we all knew could be this good.


JONNY POLONSKY: Hi My Name Is Jonny

Jonny Polonski is this year's can't miss whiz kid. He's brash, he's young and
he just might be the real thing. Ten solid pop tracks clocking in at under
half an hour: Jonny doesn't like to waste time. He's all business, doling 
out hooks like he's the fishin' magician: each different from the last to
keep ya biting.  This DIY boy sure can play, and he's an engaging singer as
well. He might be unstoppable. Be the first on yer block to own Jonny's 
record - and you can brag about it later at the old folks home.


BLACK BOOT TRIO: Blood (Hassan's Rumpuss Room - po box 147 st. B,
ottawa, ontario, canada, K1K 6C3, [sfai@ccs.carleton.ca])

As true Canadians know, blood comes with sweat and tears. Black Boot Trio 
offer nine blood/sweat/tear/gin (take yer pick) soaked gems of the devilishly
blue cow punk variety. If'n ya like yer geetar big 'n' beefy, yer drums plain
'n' simple, and a snarl in the vocal, then take an illicit weekend with this
record. Nick Cave meets Johnny Cash, Steven Fai calms his delivery from past
efforts, but ya can hear the blood boiling in his veins as the lyrics ooze
out 'tween his clenched teeth. And the best part 'bout the Trio is the dark
stories. I leave these to you.


BUTTHOLE SURFERS: Electriclarryland (Capitol)

The new Southern fried rock, whether those cruising in Dukes of Hazard cars
with Lynyrd Skynyrd bumper stickers know it or not. BS continue to mutate
into something resembling a pop band. Y'know: chorus, verse, chorus, the 
odd unlistenable guitar bash and a lovely French amour spoken mood piece 
(the utterly irresistible 'Let's Talk About Cars'). The now familiar power
drill guitars and megaphone vocals still manage to tickle my fancy after 
all these burnt-out brain cells. The masters of the big riff off, the 
Surfers maul The Nails ('88 Lines About 44 Women') and Jim Carrol ('People
Who Died') in the massive commercial hit 'Pepper.' Stare intently at the
back cover graphic of a three-eyed velvet poodle during 'Jingle of a Dog's
Collar'; a scrumptious hooky masterpiece that would make The Zombies puce 
with envy. Yet in true BS form, ya can't leave this puppy on for the 
duration or a coupla tracks'll drive ya to kill. Raise the Confederate flag
and ROCK-mighty-ON!


NICK CAVE: Murder Ballads (Reprise)

Ol' Nicky boy spirals deeper into the recesses of what's left of his charred
little heart. True to the title, Cave delivers ten gruesome ditties in his
unmistakable perverse charm. Like a coy Satan seating you at the table of 
hell, Cave offers a pleasant smile, yet his eyes give him away as he romps 
through this reservoir dog. This is his sinister urge; one he's bent on
dissecting like a meticulous autopsy. No one has a better way with words
from the gutter and few can hold a musical match to his work.


others worth mentioning, that on another day, I might have slipped into the 
top five:

Chris Knox: Songs Of You and Me (Caroline)
Joe Henry: Trampoline (Mammoth)
Reverend Horton Heat: It's Martini Time (Interscope)
Richard Buckler: Bloomed (DejaDisc)
Dub Narcotic Sound System: Boot Party (K)
Nil Lara: s/t (Metro Blue)
Ben Harper: Fight For Your Mind (Virgin)
16 Horsepower: Sackcloth  'n' Ashes (A&M)
Cassandra Wilson: New Moon Daughter (Blue Note)
Squirrel Nut Zippers: Hot (Mammoth)


                  *           *            * 


That wraps it up.  We'll see y'all in '97!


---------------------------------------------------------------------------

THE 2nd ANNUAL COSMIK GUIDE TO CHRISTMAS CDs
By Steve Marshall

Well, the midst of the holiday season is upon us once again. Time to pull 
out the Christmas music. Before long, you're dreading the thought of having
to hear those songs over and over again, right? Don't worry, there are a lot
of excellent new titles available this year in a wide range of musical 
styles: rock, blues, jazz, pop, and lounge, just to name a few. I'll tell
you about the best of this year's new releases in each of those categories
and a whole lot more in the 2nd Annual Cosmik Guide to Holiday Music.

First up is O Come All Ye Faithful (Columbia), the new Rock For Choice benefit
CD. With artists ranging from Henry Rollins to Deep Forest and Wes Modiko, the 
lineup is interesting, to say the least. Sponge does a good REM impression
on "Christmas Day" and Bush gives us a great new live track entitled "Good 
King Somethingorother," interpolating "Hey Joe" with new lyrics - 'hey 
Santa, where you going with those presents in your hand.' In an unusual move
for them, Luscious Jackson's track, "Queen of Bliss" sounds almost ambient.

Another excellent new collection is New Wave Christmas (Rhino). It's the 
seasonal companion to the label's massive 15-CD series of 'new wave' hits, 
Just Can't Get Enough. Some of the best tracks here include the Bowie & 
Bing classic "Peace on Earth/Little Drummer Boy," and a personal favorite of
mine, Wall of Voodoo's excellent "Shouldn't Have Given Him a Gun for
Christmas." There are a few rare indie singles here too. Be sure to check
out "Xmas at K-Mart" by Root Boy Slim and the Sex Change Band. 

One of the more disappointing holiday releases this year is Just Say Noel 
(Geffen). This CD also boasts an all-star lineup of current 'alternative' 
artists (Beck, Sonic Youth, Aimee Mann with Michael Penn, and several 
others), but most of the songs just don't cut it. The only thing that doesn't
fall flat is the Southern Culture on the Skids cover of "Merry Christmas
Baby." There are a few original cuts on Just Say Noel, but nothing you'll 
want to hear more than once.

If your musical tastes lean more toward soul or R&B, pick up a copy of The 
Original Soul Christmas (Rhino). Clarence Carter's classic "Back Door Santa"
gets things off to a great start, and the three cuts from the Booker T & the
MG's Christmas album are good as well. The highlight on Soul Christmas is
King  Curtis' version of "The Christmas Song," featuring the late Duane 
Allman on guitar. To date, this remains one of the classiest Christmas
performances around. 

For those who like a bit of the blues mixed in with their holiday music,
there are some excellent titles available. Bullseye Blues Christmas (Bullseye
Blues) is a great contemporary blues collection. Little Jimmy King's "Happy
Christmas Tears" features some superb guitar work. Accompanied only by 
himself on the Hammond B3, Charles Brown contributes a new medley of his 
holiday standards, "Merry Christmas Baby" and "Please Come Home for Christmas."
Be sure to check out my personal favorite on the disc, "Five Pound Box of 
Money" by Michelle 'Evil Gal' Willson. 

If a traditional blues sound is more your style, look no farther than Blue 
Yule (Rhino). This superb 18-track collection contains songs by the likes of
Sonny Boy Williamson, Lightnin' Hopkins, John Lee Hooker, and many others.
Blue Yule contains several rare singles and B-sides, such as The Insight's 
1965 version of "Please Come Home for Christmas" (featuring 'newcomers'
Johnny and Edgar Winter) and Jimmy McCracklin's "Christmas Time - Part One."
Other highlights include Eddie C. Campbell's "Santa's Messin' With the Kid" 
and the instrumental "Jingle Bell Boogie" by guitarist Big Jack Johnson.

Verve's new CD, Jazz for Joy, is an excellent new disc for the jazz purists
on your list. This collection of 13 new recordings features an impressive
lineup of musicians -- both veterans and relative newcomers alike.  About half
the tracks are instrumentals. Shirley Horn turns in a masterful performance
on "The Christmas Song" and Abbey Lincoln is delightful on "Christmas Cheer."
Betty Carter contributes a fabulous rendition of the yuletide standard, "Let
It Snow." All three vocalists are backed up by the 'Verve All Stars.' 

If you're looking for something with a more contemporary jazz sound, one of
the best holiday CDs released this year is Boney's Funky Christmas (Warner 
Brothers) from Boney James. For those who may not know the tenor saxophonist's
musical styles, James plays a soothing blend of pop, jazz, soul, and R&B. 
Most of the tracks here are instrumental. This CD dips into the adult
contemporary motif, but it won't put you to sleep. It's the perfect disc for
those mornings during the holiday season when you want to hear some music 
but don't necessarily want it blasting in your ear.

Motown's jazz subsidiary, MoJazz, released A MoJazz Christmas Vol. 2 this 
year. This one's a mixed bag. Trumpeter Pharez Whitted turns in a funky 
version of "Winter Wonderland." Daryle Chinn's "Give Love on Christmas Day"
is hopelessly MOR, and the Carol Riddick track will have you scrambling to
find the No-Doz. The best tracks on this CD are Ronee Martin's updated take
on the Eartha Kitt classic "Santa Baby" and guitarist Norman Brown's cool
version of  "Charlie Brown Christmas." Brown plays all the instruments on
the track. There's a medley of three carols by the 'MoJazz All Stars' rounding
out the CD, but the track is basically a throwaway.

"Jazz to the World" (Blue Note) contains 16 songs by the likes of Fourplay, 
Cassandra Wilson, Holly Cole, Chick Corea and a host of others. The CD starts 
off with the first of two renditions of "Winter Wonderland." Herb Alpert and 
Jeff Lorber contribute a cool, funk version of the song. Later in the CD, Dave 
Koz serves up a surprisingly good version as well. Cassandra Wilson's version
of "The Little Drummer Boy" is a prime example of the interesting new 
arrangements by the artists on this CD.

World Christmas (Metro Blue) includes 13 tracks by an assortment of renowned
jazz/world music artists such as Gipsy Kings, Deep Forest, and Papa Wemba.
The CD doesn't hold up as well as Jazz to the World, but there are still a 
few tracks worth checking out. John Scofield & the Wild Magnolias turn in a 
rendition of the traditional "Go Tell it on the Mountain" unlike any you've 
heard before. Mino Cinelu and Dianne Reeves' sparse arrangement of "The
Twelve Days of Christmas" is interesting, too. Proceeds of World Christmas
and Jazz to the World benefit the Special Olympics.

What if new age is more your style? Windham Hill has some new holiday titles out 
this year. The Carols of Christmas is a fine collection of interesting and 
enjoyable new performances by George Winston, Will Ackerman, Liz Story, Michael 
Hedges and a host of others. Another excellent disc to check out is Kiho'alu 
Christmas, a collection of mostly instrumental traditional and Hawaiian seasonal 
classics performed on slack key guitar. Slack key playing is best described as 
the combination of a variety of tunings and the traditional Hawaiian style of 
finger-picking on the acoustic guitar. If you like acoustic music, you'll enjoy 
both of these discs.

There are several new holiday CDs in the pop genre this year. The best is the 
new one from Vanessa Williams, Star Bright (Mercury). Williams' voice suits
these classic carols perfectly. I've never been a big fan of Williams in the
past, but she does a superb job with the twelve tracks included here. Her
tasteful, gospel-tinged arrangements leave plenty of room for the lush,
jazzy instrumentation, yet still allow her vocals to shine through. On "I 
Wonder as I Wander," the vocal similarities to Barbra Streisand are uncanny.
Even if you're not a fan, this one is highly recommended.

Virgin released an excellent pop holiday disc this year too, entitled The Best 
Christmas Ever. This CD features 17 mostly traditional songs by artists like
Dean Martin, Harry Belafonte, Doris Day, Nat King Cole, and Lena Horne. The
liner notes are a bit skimpy, but the songs sound great - especially when 
you consider the age of some of them. The Best Christmas Ever also has a few
non-traditional tracks to keep things interesting, like Louis Armstrong's 
"Baby, It's Cold Outside" and B.B. King's "Christmas Celebration."

Guitarist/crooner John Pizzarelli released his first holiday CD this year 
entitled Let's Share Christmas (RCA). Aside from his instrumental version
of "Sleigh Ride" (which features some nice guitar work), the rest of the CD
is nothing more than a cure for insomnia. Also new this year from RCA is a
compilation of easy listening chestnuts called RCA Christmas Dinner with
tracks by the likes of Guy Lombardo, Jose Feliciano, Chet Atkins and Henry 
Mancini. This is a great disc to play when the grandparents come over, and
it comes complete with holiday recipes.

One of the best holiday CDs available this year is also one of the shortest. 
Billboard's Family Christmas Classics (Kid Rhino) has all the songs from 
movies and television that you remember from your childhood. Who can forget
Jimmy Durante's version of "Frosty the Snowman?" Or Burl Ives' classic "Holly
Jolly Christmas?" Not to mention "Christmas Time is Here" from A Charlie Brown
Christmas. In case the songs themselves aren't enough, the liner notes are 
excellent, too. You get full details on every track. Family Christmas Classics 
is the perfect holiday CD for the kid in all of us.

There are some good holiday compilations for the country fans out there, too. 
Billboard's Country Christmas Hits (Rhino) features 10 tracks from the more 
traditional country artists, like Buck Owens, Ernest Tubb and Tex Ritter. Tubb's 
classic rendition of "Blue Christmas" is included here, along with Johnny Cash's 
version of "The Little Drummer Boy." (Reviewer's note: Almost 40 years after he 
recorded that song, 'the man in black' is covering Soundgarden and Beck songs on 
his new CD, Unchained.) Country Christmas (also on Rhino) has a better mix of 
old and new artists than the Billboard CD, but two of the songs are duplicated 
between the discs. 

One musical style that's recently been making a strong comeback is Lounge. A 
lot of it is cheesy, but there's plenty that's good too. Capitol's new Ultra
Lounge series hit the streets in 1996 to rave reviews, and they've just 
released a great new holiday collection entitled Christmas Cocktails. Grab
your smoking jacket, mix up a batch of martinis, and sit back as Christmas
Cocktails serves up 18 of your favorite holiday tunes, lounge-style. You 
haven't heard The Nutcracker Suite until you've heard it performed by Les 
Brown and His Band of Renown. This disc also includes three very cool bonus
tracks. The first is from The Continental. Some of you may remember a 
recurring skit on Saturday Night Live by the same name. This is the original.
The second is a mix of three commercials for the Marine Reserve and Toys For
Tots with cameos by Peggy Lee, Nat King Cole and Nancy Wilson. The last is
an old holiday promo for Capitol by Johnny Mercer that was sent to record
stores and distributors.

Another excellent new lounge title is Arthur Lyman's In a Christmas Vibe 
(Rykodisc). Out of print for years, the disc puts a tropical twist on all 
the old holiday favorites with spectacular results. "Rudolph the Red Nosed 
Reindeer" and "Winter Wonderland" are both very cool, as is the interesting
arrangement of "We Three Kings." With his trademark use of exotic 
instrumentation, Lyman serves up an aural mai-tai sure to evoke images of 
surfing Santas and ornament-strewn palm trees. There are two unlisted bonus
tracks on this CD too: one at the beginning of the disc and a version of
Auld Lang Syne (complete with fireworks and crowd noise) at the end.

When it comes to holiday lounge music, this year's best is Juan Garcia 
Esquivel's excellent Merry Xmas From the Space-Age Bachelor Pad (Bar None).
Esquivel is widely known as the master of lounge music, and this CD is the
perfect example of why.  It's hard to explain his musical style to someone 
who has never heard it before, but suffice it to say that if you're only
going to buy one holiday CD this year, this is the one to get. You can't 
help being in a good mood when you listen to it. Don't pass this one up. 

There aren't really a whole lot of blatantly awful Christmas CDs out there,
but one of the worst is Christmas in the Stars (Rhino). Originally recorded
in 1980, this was to be the first in a series of Star Wars Christmas albums.
Fortunately, that idea fizzled out quickly. Star Wars collectors have been 
searching for vinyl copies of this since it made its race to the cutout bins.
The big selling point now is that it features lead vocals by then 18-year-old 
John Bongiovi (before he forgot how to spell his name). If that's not enough
to dissuade you from buying this, think about the inane beeping of R2D2 on
every track. Frisbee anyone?

As anyone who has already perused the Christmas section in your local record
store can tell you, there's an enormous amount of holiday music out there. 
I've only skimmed the surface. If you want to find out about other titles
deserving of your hard-earned cash, click here. You'll be whisked away to 
last year's buyer's guide where you can read about several other titles in 
an assortment of musical genres -- none of which are mentioned in this year's
guide. Classical, punk, comedy, and hard to find collectors' items are all
included, plus more pop, rock and jazz titles too. 

Happy Holidays to all and Feliz Navidad, baby!


---------------------------------------------------------------------------

TAPE HISS
By John Sekerka

[The following interviews are transcribed from John Sekerka's radio show,
Tape Hiss, which runs on CHUO FM in Ottawa, Canada.  Each month, Cosmik
Debris will present a pair of Tape Hiss interviews.  This month, we're proud   
to present interviews with Rasputina and Skip Heller.]


            *                  *                     *
            

							RASPUTINA


Rasputina is three ladies with cellos. One American, one Canadian, and one
Polish, they wear form fitting corsets when performing, and they've just
released a delicious debut album on Columbia called Thanks for the Ether
which is like nothing you've ever heard before. Group founder Melora talks
about music, underwear, fairies, sex education, playing with Nirvana and
American history.


John:  Rasputina really fuels the imagination. What does the name mean?

Melora:   It's just a feminization of Rasputin, who was very extreme and wacky.
   It's absurd to feminize it since in those times it was impossible for a
   woman to accomplish all the evil things that he did.

John:  Are you a history buff?

Melora:  Yes I read a lot. The dryer the better. It's usually my lyrical
inspiration. My parents have the Time-Life Old West series and I always read
one when I'm home. Fiction doesn't always appeal to me. With history, I can
fill in the personal and emotional side of the facts.

John:  Did you spend a lot of time with encyclopedias as a kid?

Melora:  Yes, I set myself a task: you must read the entire set, you must
   read the dictionary. I failed, but I tried.

John:  More specifically, what is 'My Little Shirtwaist Fire?' [a song on
   the new record]

Melora:  That was in Soho, New York City, back when young girls were locked
   in rooms making clothes for slave wages. There was a fire and they all
   perished and it changed a lot of labour laws. To me it's an analogy to
   womens' little problems of today.

John:  Your bio states that on 'Mr. E. Leon Rauis' an Edison cylinder
   phonograph* [a precursor to flat vinyl records] was brought into the studio.
   I didn't know these things still existed.

Melora:  Thomas Edison's factories and labs were located in New Jersey, so
   there's a lot of people out there who take care of his stuff. A man with
   one of these recording machines happened to be in the studio when we were
   working, to get his cylinders recorded since they do deteriorate. He was
   kind enough to let us work with it.

John:  From what I understand the cylinders had better sound quality than the
   flat discs, but they never caught on. It was like Beta vs. VHS -  a
   marketing thing.

Melora:  Yeah, Edison had other episodes like this. He put a lot of his money
   into talking dolls that used these waxed cylinders. But the sound was
   unintelligible, the dolls didn't sell and it was a flop. Though years later
   talking dolls became the norm.

John:  In your facts and figures it states that your waist is 21" and your
   brain is 66". Don't you fall over, Melora?

Melora:  My closest friend is a hat designer and I've found that everybody
   thinks they have a big head. It's a common belief. Those measurements are
   sadly inaccurate though.

John:  Getting back to the 21", is it true that all members of Rasputina favour
   these waist constricting devices of a by-gone era?

Melora:  Yes, at this point it's like a uniform. It's costume to us. We have a
   large collection of undergarments through the ages and that's what we wear
   when performing. It's very binding and constricting and we like to highlight
   our uptightness.

John:  Your music's not really retro, but your look is way retro. Aren't you
   afraid that too much attention will be paid to the look and not enough to
   the music?

Melora:  Anybody commenting on our look makes me a little uncomfortable. I
   know we're doing this, but we've done it for so long that it's a 'putting
   on a waitress uniform' feeling. Any aspects of sexuality shocks us. We
   feel we are very prim about what we're doing. If they hear the word
   underwear, people go crazy.

John:  Three cellos is an odd combination for a rock and roll band. How did
   that all come about?

Melora:  We were all trained classically since we were kids, and we've all
   played in rock bands where the cello is but a decoration. There's an
   emotional and personal response people have to the cello. It's what we know
   and what we love.

John:  Are all the members in Rasputina nannies?

Melora:  We all attended the same nanny school, but we only met through
   newspaper ads much later on. In putting the group together I thought if I
   can get someone trained on cello who wanted to do different music, then we
   might have similar backgrounds, which turned out to be quite true.

John:  Perusing your website, there's a bit under 'The Ladies Cello Society'
   which states: 'possess a background which includes ballet, needlework and a
   limited number of suitable sports: fencing, ice skating and cage ball.' Now
   Melora, where exactly are you from?

Melora:  Kansas.

John:  Ice skating ... does Kansas have ice ponds?

Melora:  Uh, I have to admit that this is a fantasy list of sports I wish I had
   been more involved in. I fenced for a while and that I loved very much.

John:  What is cage ball?

Melora:  That's something I did in elementary school. It's a game played with
   an enormous ball. I was small but it seemed to be at least six feet wide.
   There's a very vague game of trying to get it past a line, but basically
   it's small children screaming with a huge ball flying around the
   gymnasium.

John:  Is it true that you were conceived without, uh, conception? Were you
   an immaculate conception or a test tube baby?

Melora:  That is true. We like to mix fact and fiction, but that is a true
   story. I don't know if my mother would appreciate me telling the graphic
   details but ... it's a long story ... there was no penetration, she was
   impregnated, my father would not believe that I was his child and I was
   given up for adoption. He returned later to retrieve me but I had
   already gone.

John:  Wow! My head's spinning here, Melora. I've seen films in health class,
   how can that happen without penetration?

Melora:  They tell young girls in health class that if someone were to
   ejaculate on your leg it's possible for this to happen. No one believes it,
   but my biological mother is here to say, 'yes girls, it can happen.'

John:  The horror stories are true! Watch out for toilet seats! Um, let's talk
   more about the music. I can't believe finding Melanie's 'Brand New Key' on
   your record.

Melora:  I didn't think you were old enough to remember it.

John:  Thank you. I know it dates me. Most listeners probably think it's a new
   song.

Melora:  I'm thirty and people younger than me don't know it. I think it was
   number one in 1971.

John:  I first heard it on the Sonny and Cher television show. It was a
   cartoon and Cher did the vocal. I loved that song.

Melora:  I heard it so much when I was five that it's in my head. The lyrics
   are actually kind of aggressive and paranoid, but it's a chirpy happy
   melody, and that contrast appealed to me.

John:  Melora, please don't roll your eyes, but I have to inquire: I'd like
   some Nirvana dirt from the last tour.

Melora:  Awwww, what can I say? They were wonderful people. It was so sad what
   happened. And from that experience I have strong feelings about coddling
   that money can buy you. If that element wasn't there I don't think things
   would go so badly for some people.

John:  What was it like being on stage, playing to huge audiences who were
   just going crazy?

Melora:  The music was really incredible and to be on stage at that volume
   level - there's just nothing like that. It's like an airplane taking off
   through our power. The stadiums were so big that I felt like a tiny speck
   walking onto a huge expanse.

John:  It almost sounds like a dream. Do you ever pinch yourself and say,
   'hey I was on the Nirvana tour?'

Melora:  Yeah, because it was so short and it ended so tragically.

John:  One last question: do you believe in fairies?

Melora:  I love fairies. There was a British fairy scandal in the twenties.
   Two little girls took some photographs of small fairies on their fingers.
   Eventually, when they were about eighty, they felt guilty enough to admit
   the truth: that they constructed them with cardboard and pieces of wire.


..tape hiss

[* the Edison cylinder recording technique can also be heard on the latest
They Might Be Giants record, and is probably going to be the latest rock and
roll fad - following the theramin]


            *                  *                     *
            

                           SKIP HELLER


A man for all musical seasons, Skip Heller is a guitarist, a historian, and
a writer. He also spent some time with lounge master Les Baxter, prior to
Baxter's death on January 22nd. Baxter introduced the world to space age
bachelor pad music back in 1950 with Music Out of the Moon, which featured
the eerie sounds of the theremin. He discovered Peruvian vocalist Yma Sumac,
producing her first album. Baxter also started the percussion craze with his
Skins! Bongo Party with Les Baxter record. Working with Mel Torme (singing),
Bob Hope (arranging), Abbott and Costello (musical direction), Miton Berle
(writing), Frank Sinatra (conducting), Roger Corman (soundtracks), and Eddie
Cochran (acting), Les Baxter was truly a man for all entertainment seasons.
Here's the scoop.

JOHN: Besides writing the liner notes, what connection do you have with Les
   Baxter's Lost Episode (Dionysus Records)?

SKIP: I found it in Les' linen closet. I used to stay about a week at a time
   at his house in Palm Springs. I was actually hanging up some shirts cuz
   there wasn't much closet space in the spare room and I found this big
   reel of tape. Les said it would make a nice record, so we chopped it down
   to about twenty minutes of music.

JOHN: Was this an actual television show?

SKIP: Yes, it was a television special called 'Music of the Sixties' which
   aired locally on KTTV here in Los Angeles. Now KTTV is the best place to
   watch Cal Worthington's used car commercials. He used to buy four hour
   blocks and show "Cal's Corral" which was country music television filled
   with used car commercials.

JOHN: You seem to be a man for all seasons, for all things. When asked what
   you do, how do you respond?

SKIP: That if I didn't do any one of these things, I would starve. I don't
   know how to put this without sounding like I'm tooting my own horn, but
   there's very little that I don't have some acquaintance with in the
   wonderful world of music. I don't say no to any kind of work, and what
   I don't know how to do, I ask somebody.

JOHN: When we spoke earlier you said that you were frantically trying to
   learn legendary vocalist Yma Sumac's music.

SKIP: That's right, I'm playing guitar on Yma's upcoming live gig. I always
   dreamed about playing in the Blasters or NRBQ, and here I am playing with
   Yma Sumac.

JOHN: How old is Yma now?

SKIP: She's in her early seventies. She's really sweet. She always refers to
   herself in the third person: 'Yma Sumac wants a drink of water'. She has
   these great hand gestures that are right up there with Bela Lugosi.

JOHN: How many octaves can she hit these days?

SKIP: She can hit four and a half on a regular night; five and a half on a
   good night. She's still in pretty good shape.

JOHN: Is there more interest in her since this lounge revival has taken off?

SKIP: I've noticed that every few years there's  a resurgence of interest in
   Yma, usually because somebody else cops Yma's style. A few years ago her
   name came up because of Diamanda Galas. Before that it was Lene Lovitch.

JOHN: Speaking of lounge revivals, what was your involvement in The Wonderful
   World of Joey.

SKIP: A very brief one. I conducted and arranged 'Days of Wine and Roses' on
   the Henry Mancini tribute album Shots in the Dark (Del-Fi Records).

JOHN: There's a lot of interesting labels putting out exotica related material:
   Del-Fi, Dionysus, Scamp...

SKIP: Scamp have just released Les Baxter's last album, Que Mango!, which
   was originally released in '71. Les Baxter conducts 101 strings, and it's
   amazing.

JOHN: Looking over Baxter's discography, it seems that Capitol owns most of
   his releases. There have only been a couple of re-issues; are they going
   to cash in on the vast catalogue?

SKIP: Cashing is a good way to put it. Les died last January, and basically,
   he died in debt. They're foreclosing on his house, and his daughter Leslie
   is really behind the financial eight ball. Capitol records are using Les'
   name and likeness to promote the new two disc set, but have not done
   anything to help his family. These contracts that were signed in the
   forties are antiquated by today's standards and the artists are not being
   treated right. Capitol asked Leslie for background help for the new
   releases which is quite ironic since they're not paying her for the use
   of her father's name. They own the music outright, so all they will pay
   her is publishing for the tunes he wrote. I'm not very thrilled with the
   situation.  When Asphodel released Incredibly Strange Music , they asked
   who should get paid directly. They didn't want any red tape. It's funny,
   the smaller labels, who don't have wheel barrows of money to throw around,
   are the ones who pay on time. For Lost Episode,  Dionysus paid for a month
   of Les' in-home nursing. I hate to be on a soapbox, but frankly if it was
   Johnny Cash, there'd be twenty people doing benefits in Nashville right
   now - as it should be. Yet somebody like Les or Korla Pandit are not
   afforded the same treatment.

JOHN: How did you get involved with Les anyway?

SKIP: I wrote him a letter. I couldn't find out anything about his music. I
   looked in every possible source.  So I wrote him to get info about his
   life and his art. Then we talked on the phone, back in August of '94,
   and after fifteen minutes he asked me to come out there. I thought oh
   God, I have to see how this guy lives. The music is so wild; what is this
   guy's living room gonna look like? And we got to be very close in a short
   amount of time. I was living in Philadelphia at the time and I'd go to
   Palm Springs for a week and hang out with Les and drink coffee and listen
   to music. You should've heard him scream when I played The Replacements
   on his stereo. He had an indoor/outdoor speaker system: 200 watts of raw
   power. I thought what is Please to Meet Me gonna sound like on this
   system, and Les comes out, 'how can you play this garbage?' Everyone
   wants to know what was Les Baxter's reaction to The Replacements and I'm
   here to tell you that it was not pretty.

JOHN: So other than the sound system, what was his house like?

SKIP: Quite tasteful actually. I was thinking, 'c'mon, where's the weirdness
   here, cuz of his music... there's gotta be some sense of almost...
   violence, or contrariness. But it only really existed in his music. He
   had an ordered life, but a really crazy imagination. Same thing with
   Robert Drasnin*. He's almost like a germ: just reproducing all this
   creativity. All these guys look like Presbyterian tire salesmen.

JOHN: When did you first hear Les' music?

SKIP: I used to collect singles on Liberty records back in the eighties. I
   figured any label that had The Chipmunks, Julie London and Eddie Cochran,
   had to be a cool label. So I found this Martin Denny single of 'Quiet
   Village', and I went 'hey, now this is my kind of music!' So I started
   picking up Martin Denny's albums and of course there's Les Baxter's tunes
   all over those. The next thing you know I'm writing Les Baxter a letter.
   By the way Juan Esquivel has invited me to his house in Mexico City - man,
   I gotta go.

JOHN: Didn't he used to get mobbed down there, like he was The Beatles?

SKIP: Yeah. Y'know I met a couple from Mexico recently and when they found
   out I knew Esquivel it was like telling somebody that I knew Ringo. They
   couldn't believe it. Esquivel is a very sweet gentleman - it's like
   having a 78 year old pen pal in Mexico City. He's writing new music now.
   The plan is to have Brother Cleave, who is the touring keyboardist for
   Combustible Edison, put together a group of lounge all-stars and record
   the music in Mexico.

JOHN: How is Esquivel?

SKIP: He had just spent a year and a half in bed with a spine injury. Then
   he broke his wrist. Knowing Esquivel, he was probably trying to grab a
   nurse. But now he's healthy.

JOHN: He must be delighted with all this new found attention from the lounge
   revival.

SKIP: All of these people are. Nobody wants to be forgotten. I know that
   when Les Baxter read that Jello Biafra cited him as an influence on the
   Dead Kennedys [in Incredibly Strange Music], he was pleased as punch.
   They're all pleased, but I think they're all quite mystified as well.
   Right Stuff reissued five Yma Sumac records at once. And though she says
   "of course, I am Yma Sumac," I think in the back of her mind she's saying
   "what the hell is going here?"

JOHN: How do you account for the revival?

SKIP: I think everyone is sick of guitar distortion with people yelling over
   top of it. I can't tell Weezer from Superwhatever it is this week. My
   rock'n'roll tastes seemed to have been cut off with The Pogues and The
   Replacements. I had to find something else to get curious about, and
   doo-wop records are just too expensive.

JOHN: Do you scour garage sales for that long lost, elusive album?

SKIP: I do, but the weird thing is that I am Mr. New Wave, and I'm looking
   for that Martha & the Muffins album. I just did a record with the drummer
   from X. I'm talking with Stan Ridgeway from Wall of Voodoo about doing an
   album. Dave Alvin from The Blasters is my neighbour and my oldest friend
   in L.A. And just to put a cherry on top of it, my girlfriend is Pearl
   from Pearl Harbour & the Explosions. I'm always looking for skinny tie
   pop records. Like The Sinceros or 20/20, cuz they always had two great
   songs on 'em. Quite frankly, I spend too much money on music, and to make
   things worse, I'm now collecting 78s.

JOHN: I had the great pleasure of hearing some great vintage Mickey Katz on
   78.

SKIP: Wow. I just finished the Mickey Katz biography. I had to do it because
   it's a Jewish music thing, and I'm Jewish, and my life is music.

JOHN: Sounds like a Woody Allen bit.

SKIP: Almost. I wanted to discover what does it mean to be a Jewish musician
   in America?

JOHN: What's next, Skip?

SKIP: The New Wave "where are they now" book. Though Pearl is not pleased
   that she'd wind up in a "where are they now" book. From interviewing
   Martin Denny, Esquivel, and hanging out with Korla Pandit and now Yma, I
   have a lot of written material that might wind up being a book as well.

...tape hiss

* Robert Drasnin is best remembered for his 1959 album Voodoo . Earlier on
he worked with Big Band big wigs such as Les Brown and Tommy Dorsey. Later
he became musical director for CBS television, where he scored 'Lost In
Space' and 'The Wild Wild West' among others. Presently Drasnin teaches
music composition at UCLA.

============================================================================

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    [[[[[[[[    [[[[[[   [[ [[     [     [[[[[[   [[  [  [[     [[[[[
    [[   [[     [         [[[      [     [         [[[ [[[          [[
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============================================================================



BAD BRAINS: Black Dots (Caroline)
Reviewed by DJ Johnson

Damn, this stuff sounds great!  Bad Brains weren't the usual thing in the
hardcore punk scene in 1979.  Black musicians who had Rastafarian leanings,
they played loud and powerful punk that sometimes included great reggae
chops.  Black Dots is the complete documentation of their very first studio
sessions, which took place before they had signed to a label.  Recording on
4-track in a basement studio, they just set up and fired through their 
entire live show, stopping only long enough to spit between tracks.  The 
energy they managed to catch on that tape could light up a small emerging
nation!  With all the grit and honesty of a live show, decent sound quality
and undeniably great tunes, Black Dots belongs in any comprehensive punk
collection.

Track List (But you should think of it as a SET list):

Don't Need It * At The Atlantis * Pay To Cum * Supertouch/Shitfit * 
Regulator * You're A Migraine * Don't Bother Me * Banned In DC * Why'd 
You Have To Go? * The Man Won't Annoy Ya * Redbone In The City * Black 
Dots * How Low Can A Punk Get * Just Another Damn Song * Attitude * Send
You No Flowers

		   

THE BASEMENT BRATS: Curse Of The Brats (1+2 / Get Hip)
Reviewed by DJ Johnson

Ever loved a band so much that you just about went crazy waiting for their 
next album to come out?  A band whose music can pull you up out of any bad
mood or deep depression, invigorating your soul and forcing your feet to
stomp in time?  Sure you do.  Well, I HOPE you do.  Anyway, this is mine.

This release was supposed to be just around the corner when I interviewed 
Ole "Magnum" Olsen, the Brats former vocalist, in August of 1995.  Luckily,
he sent me a cassette with all of the songs on it, but you know how it is.
It's a cassette, man.  I waited.  And I waited... for well over a year.  But
today, it has finally arrived.  25 fast and furious melodic punk/pop tunes
delivered by a band with a unique sound and energy.  

The festivities begin with "Monster," a cover of a song originally done by
their Halden, Norway compatriots, Front Page.  During a break where it's 
suddenly just a guitar and vocal, Magnum personalizes it by singing "when
the Brats are singin' out of tune."  Track four is also a cover: The Young
Lords' "Big Burden," totally Braticated and energized by the harmony vocals
and twin guitar attack.  The rest is pure original Brat mayhem, highlighted
by great tunes like "Can't Get You Back," "Stay Away From My Girl," "Bad
Baby," "Sucker," "Fed Up," and "Weird Boy."  You show me a bad song on this
disc and I'll explain why you wouldn't know great rock and roll if it bit
you on the ass.	(1+2 Records: Clean Nishi-shinjuku, Nishi-shinjuku 7-5-6,
Shinjuku-ku, Tokyo 160 Japan. Distributed by Get Hip Records: call for
information - 412-231-4766 or FAX 412-231-4777.)



BINGY BUNNY: Kingston 12 Toughie (RAS)
Reviewed by DJ Johnson

Eric "Bingy Bunny" Lamont was an extremely talented reggae guitarist who 
played in the The Morwells and Roots Radics, in addition to doing countless 
studio and concert dates as a backing musician for other artists.  In 1993,
he died of cancer at the age of 38.  This CD collects 14 of his best tracks,
with an extra tribute track thrown in to boot.

Showing off was never Bingy's style, so this isn't music that's going to 
make your jaw drop.  His playing was subtle and tasteful, and he always
seemed to know exactly what the track required.  His performances in songs
like "Educate Your Mind," "I'll Never Give My Heart," and "Jah Lion" serve
as an audio textbook for young guitarists who take reggae seriously.  

For the casual listener, this is an excellent collection of beautiful roots
reggae: filled with positive messages, heavy bass lines, and that exquisite
hesitant beat.  The liner notes include memories of Bingy Bunny as well as
addresses where one can send away for information on cancer prevention.
It would seem, from all accounts, that Eric "Bingy Bunny" Lamont was dearly
loved and respected by peers and fans alike.  The first track is the tribute,
written by Dwight "Brother Dee" Pinkney, who played with Bingy in Roots 
Radics.  The faith that he and Bingy shared is summed up in the final line,
"Why does a good young man die?  Only Jah knows why.  Jah knows why."  This
well-chosen collection of songs is a fine tribute.



THE BOMBORAS: Swingin' Singles (Dionysus)
Reviewed by DJ Johnson

A bunch of killer instro tracks culled from various 7 and 10 inchers recorded
by The Bomboras, The Finks, and Lord Hunt & His Missing Finks--all of which,
I believe, are basically the same people or various combinations from the
same talent pool.  I have the CD version on which the sound is a fair 
approximation of vinyl.  From the overall track distortion, I'm assuming
they mastered from the vinyl and not from the tapes.  Works for me!  You get
at least a good whiff of that vinyl warmth without having to deal with 
scratching and warping.  Which tells you, right off the bat, that I take
shitty care of my records!  The shame... But that's another story.  

After a few years of hearing Man Or Astro-Man performing "Time Bomb," it's
interesting to hear The Bomboras slightly less thunderous version, which is
deceptively subtle.  "Little Drummer Boy," from the Happy Birthday Baby
Jesus 10", is included on the CD, and just in time for makin' kinky Christmas
comp tapes.  If the first twelve tracks aren't enough to convince you, then
you'll want to check out "Tube City," "Slingshot" and "Skater Dater," all
of which were previously unreleased.  Like the other tracks, they sound like
they were recorded in a mine shaft, and after all, isn't that the way it 
oughta be?  Well...at least sometimes?



BRAVE COMBO: Mood Swing Music (Rounder)
Reviewed by John Sekerka

The polka band that could rock, Brave Combo lift the carpet to see what's
been swept under over the years, and discover a plethora of dust balls 
waiting for the light of day. Mood Swing Music collects twenty rare and 
offbeat gems that will satiate you polka addicts (don't try to deny your 
habit). 

Represented by three tracks, the Japanese only release, Ondo Saves the World,
finally makes it back to North America, and frankly, it is superb. Spliced
together with oddball covers {'Little Bit of Soul') and tribute album 
selections ('Skin'), Brave Combo bridge the gap between old and new world 
music. In fact they bridge everything under the sun, and always with deft
instrumentation that defies the obvious campy factor. Waltzes and polkas
and cha chas; it doesn't get any better than this folks. Unless of course 
you don't wear colourful shirts and cavort around the bachelor pad with
maracas. Then may I suggest you try the next record review (there must be
another Momus chapter to peruse) and quit wasting my valuable mambo time.
Cha cha cha ....



ANTONIO CALDARA: Christmas Cantata - Sinfonias 5 & 6
Aradia Baroque Ensemble, Kevin Mallon director (Naxos 8.553772)
Reviewed by Paul Remington

From 1676 to 1740, on Christmas Eve, a Christmas cantata was performed for 
the Pope and his invited guests in the Palazzo Apistolico. A different, 
usually Roman composer was chosen each year to compose the cantata. 
Following the Christmas Eve Vesper service, the Pope and his guests would
eat dinner while the new cantata was performed by the best singers in the
papal choir.

In 1713, baroque composer Antonio Caldara (1670-1736) was commissioned to
compose a Christmas cantata to be performed for the Pope (Clement XI) on
Christmas Eve. Caldara previously composed a cantata for the Prince of 
Cerveteri, Francesco Maria Ruspoli, in 1712, and it is accepted that Caldara
adapted his 1713 commission from this earlier cantata. Both versions make 
use of the same libretto, Vaticini di Pace, the text of which was rich with
political content in the eyes of Italy at that time, and seemed appropriate
to re-use and perform for the Pope and his esteemed guests.

The content of Caldara's cantata reflects the Pope's political involvement
during the war of the Spanish succession. During Italy's conflict between 
Bourbon and Habsburg for the assignment of a successor to the Spanish throne,
the Pope eventually sided with the Bourbon's involvement. Caldara's prior 
association with the Prince of Cerveteri proved fruitful. Ruspoli's political
ties with the Pope helped secure Caldara's 1713 commission following the 
1712 cantata for Ruspoli. The political climate in baroque Rome at that time
became a distinct factor in the commissioning of a Christmas cantata from 
Caldara.

Our attention to Caldara's Christmas cantata is primarily confined to its 
artistic value, although the work is also deeply rooted in the political
history of Italy. While the politics of music is not as much a factor in 
today's music, it was a common occurrence in the age of baroque composition.

The text to Caldara's cantata, Vaticini di Pace, continually cries for peace,
and focuses on the carnal nature of man's existence. It examines the human
heart, expressing the universal need to relinquish our carnal nature in 
worship of the Son of God, Jesus. The work is reminiscent of man's eternal
struggle in the carnal world, and the Pope's political struggle at the time.

The music follows the text, expressing a wide range of emotional content. It
is an exquisite representation of compositions written during that time.
Caldara's work flows between instrumental and choral elements to solos and
recitatives, expressing God's desire for peace, and the acquiescence and
submission of mankind to the power of the Almighty.

In the modern world, the most relevant element of Caldara's work is the 
religious message in conjunction with the music. Uplifting, introspective,
and inspiring, Caldara's Christmas Cantata, although a seasonal piece, is
a work that can be appreciated year-round. What better time to enjoy 
Caldara's work than during the holiday season? We all have our seasonal 
favorites, and this Christmas cantata, more than 250 years since it's 
writing, is still a seasonal work enjoyed by many.

Naxos' release is superb. The performance is exceptional, and the all-digital 
recording is crisp and dynamic. Kevin Mallon's work with the Aradia Baroque
Ensemble will earn its way into the collection of thousands of music lovers.
The addition of Caldara's Sinfonias 5 and 6 round-out the release. For those
who enjoy baroque composition, Caldara's Christmas Cantata and accompanying 
Sinfonias is a release you won't want to leave unheard.



GEORGE CARLIN: Back In Town (Atlantic)
Reviewed by DJ Johnson

I admit that I've been hooked on Carlin since the first time I heard Class
Clown way back in high school.  The 7 dirty words routine was great, but
the thing that hooked me was his brilliant observation about Muhammad Ali.
"Muhammad Ali had an interesting job...beating people up.  Government wanted
him to change jobs.  Government wanted him to kill people.  And he said 
'Noooo, that's where I draw the line.  I'll beat 'em up, but I won't kill
'em.'"  From that moment on, I was in George's corner.  

Over the years, George has had his ups and downs, but he's never lost his
amazing ability to observe things we completely miss--and to report those
things to us in a way that makes them stick.  Back In Town is one hour and
one minute of priceless observations that will have you slapping your 
forehead and saying "Jeez!  How'd I miss that?!"  

While other comedians, discussing idiots in government, religion or daily
life, observe and shake their heads in a "what can ya do?" manner, George 
takes the active route, symbolically dragging the offenders to center stage
for a verbal crucifixion.  He doesn't just make a few jokes about 
conservatives: he strips them down to the bare bone, exposing inconsistencies
such as "right to life" attitudes juxtaposed with death penalty advocacy.
Picking up steam, he moves into the next mode of the show--without the 
listener realizing it--with a hysterical rant about capitol punishment as
entertainment (and how to use ad dollars from televised executions to balance
the budget).  As his momentum builds, he suggests sicker and sicker methods
of execution, most of which were once done in the name of God.	And that's
his point.  It's always been his point.  As George says, "I used to be 
Catholic, until I reached the age of reason."  

It's not all smooth sailing.  George has always been one to work out new 
material in front of an audience, so some routines culminate with "I haven't 
got an ending for this yet."  Such is the case with this year's fart-jokes
routine.  True George Carlin fans love watching his routines evolve.  
Borderline fans won't have time to stay annoyed, though, because the 
finale--a 20 minute stream of ranting--is side splitting and frantically
focused.  Titled "Free Floating Hostility," the piece includes such
declarations as "FUCK Mickey Mouse!  Fuck 'im in the asshole with a big 
rubber dick!"  It has been reported that Tipper Gore was not present at 
this 1996 concert at The Beacon Theater in New York City.  It must be noted,
however, that the "Parental Advisory" sticker is on the cover--located 
directly over George's mouth.  What could be more perfect?



VIC CHESNUTT: About To Choke (Capitol)
Reviewed by John Sekerka

My man Vic finally gets to major land, and I'm happy to report that all is 
intact. Vic Chesnutt continues to make the most heartfelt music on the 
planet. It is a painful yet beautiful thing as Vic strains his soft, raspy,
hesitant voice around his somber lyrics and strums a rickety acoustic with 
his super-glued pick. Few have the ability to cut through the bullshit and 
pen meaningful lyrics without wallowing in sentimentality, but Vic has the
gift. His records are sharp, poignant, spiteful and truthful. There just 
isn't anyone else out there in his league.



THE CREAMERS: He Needed Killin / 5 Deadly Venoms 7" (!+2 Records/Get Hip)
Reviewed by DJ Johnson

Gut level shotgun rock from Los Angeles sporting a guitar tone to die for...
or from, if you get too close to the speakers.  Leesa G's vocals are damned
nearly as tough as the guitar sound, and the others are up to the task as 
well.  "He Needed Killin" was gonna be my favorite.  I was so sure!  Until
I flipped it over and heard "5 Deadly Venoms," which rocked me out of my 
shoes in a mere three notes or so.  God, how DO they get that guitar sound?
I've formulated a few theories.  1) Something dangerous involving those 
glowing green rods in all the nuclear disaster flicks; 2) lots and lots of
microphones placed strategically throughout the fuckin' Grand Canyon, or
3) God is on guitar and we should stop asking questions.  Be sure to e-mail 
me with any theories YOU come up with. These songs were recorded in 1994, 
and there's STILL an echo in El Monte.  If you're like me, you're constantly
looking for the biggest sound around.  Here's a candidate.  Fire it up.
(1+2 Records: Clean Nishi-shinjuku, Nishi-shinjuku 7-5-6,
Shinjuku-ku, Tokyo 160 Japan. Distributed by Get Hip Records: call for
information - 412-231-4766 or FAX 412-231-4777.)



DANZIG: 5 - Blackacidevil (Hollywood)
Reviewed by John Sekerka

If you were gonna get that Danzig lunch box for little Billy, you better
think twice, cuz the man is back! Glenn Danzig spins the retro wheel and
lands in his Misfits days. After perfecting a heavy metal pop crunch sound, 
the band resurfaces sans the clear guitar of John Christ. Blackacidevil  is
a fuzzy onslaught of distorted vocals, synth blasts, and pounding percussion.
Guess having Johnny Cash record one of your songs'll do that to a fella. 
Need to restore that nasty, devilish reputation y'know. Danzig does his best,
forging deep into the night with creepy crawlers like 'Sacrifice' and 'Power
of Darkness.' Verging on industrial mayhem, this latest Satan offering lies
somewhere between punk, heavy metal and goth. Though try as he might, Danzig
can't help but slip into his gorgeous Jim Morrison croon on 'Hint of her 
Blood.' Below that ominous exterior lies a vibrant voice. Maybe that lunch
box ain't such a bad idea.



DRY BRANCH FIRE SQUAD: Live At Last (Rounder)
Reviewed by DJ Johnson

There aren't many bands playing authentic bluegrass AND spinning amusing
yarns between songs these days.  Dry Branch Fire Squad has been doing that
for twenty years, but then they've always been the exception rather than the 
rule.  There's really only one place to fully experience the joy of Ron 
Thomason's humorous anecdotes, and that's the concert hall.  Then there's
the second best method... Odd that they never put out a live recording until
now.  Live At Last comes as close to the experience as you can get without
a ticket.

Thomason's stories are delivered in a deep drawl at an easygoing pace that
makes you feel like you're kicked back on his porch drinkin' shine with the
man.  He sometimes tells two separate stories in a two minute span, segueing
with "I told you that to tell you this..."  But the stories are just the 
icing on the cake; the little bits of string tying together some of the 
finest music on the planet.

If you appreciate bluegrass and old time music, you'll be knocked out by 
the combination of Thomason's mandolin and Bill Evans' banjo.  They, along
with their three bandmates, are virtuoso performers with styles that 
perfectly compliment one another.  Suzanne Thomas' singing is incredible,
especially on "Red Rocking Chair," on which she also plays clawhammer banjo.
She's one of those artists that could mesmerize an audience for hours on 
end with no accompaniment aside from her own banjo.  

Of all their strengths, nothing can compare to the magic they make when all
five harmonize.  Evan's baritone and Charlie Leet's bass vocals combine for 
a powerful lower register and a rock solid overall sound.  Mary Jo Leet
fills out the group on acoustic guitar and high-baritone vocals. 

Live At Last is a supremely entertaining hour and six minutes of good time
music and great stories with a backwoods spin.  I'll leave you with the
words of Thomason, speaking about a stop on one of their tours.  "At that 
Harvard place, they had real art stuff in there.  In fact, I borrowed their
book on how to write a poem, and I believe I'll be constructing my first
metaphor ... soon as I can think of somethin' that rhymes with stumpsuckin'."



THE ELVIS DIET: Gravity Furnace (Self released)
Reviewed by DJ Johnson

Cool sultry midwest pop for a rainy day.  The sound is comprised of the 
tasty chord-rich guitar work of Steve Panchinsin and Dave Lamberg's 
streetwise vocals, built on the simple power of Kerry Orze (drums)
and Jack Chant (bass).  The tunes remind me of the good ol' days of 
late 70's power-pop, when every town had their own top-notch Beatles and 
Clash-influenced heroes.  Songs like "Lizard In The Sun," "Bury The 
Dinosaur" and "Question Everything" have great hooks and tons of punch. 
"Skaed For Life" is a mid-tempo ska tune with an uncredited horn part
that adds just the right amount of discordant flange--and the song almost
works, but there's just something odd about it.  It could just be that
it seems so totally out of place with the rest of the tunes.  What I like
best about The Elvis Diet is the simplicity and tough honesty of the 
performances.  As Lamberg sings in "Poor Me," their brilliant swipe at 
self-absorbed whiners like Eddie Vedder, "Do you remember the musicians 
that just played?"	(P.O. Box 4404, Hammond, Indiana 46324, or call 
219-937-2855 for ordering information.)



JOHN ENTWISTLE: Thunderfingers: The Best of John Entwistle (Rhino)
Reviewed by Steve Marshall

He’s known by many names: The Ox, The Quiet One, Big John Entwinkle, and 
Thunderfingers, just to name a few. All nicknames aside, John Entwistle is
best known as the bassist for The Who. Until recently, none of his solo 
albums have been available on compact disc in the US. A few months ago, 
Rhino acquired the rights to Entwistle’s solo catalog and announced plans 
to reissue all the albums on CD, starting with the new compilation,
Thunderfingers. The booklet includes some cool photos, and Entwistle’s liner
notes are insightful.

While his albums have been less than spectacular overall, there have always
been a few select tracks that were better than the rest. Most of those songs
appear on the new compilation. There are two cuts from his highly underrated
1981 album, Too Late the Hero: the title track and “Fallen Angel." 
Surprisingly, the solo version of “My Wife” didn't make the cut. Another
puzzling tidbit: aside from “Fallen Angel," there really aren't any songs
here that give you any indication of Entwistle’s amazing prowess on the bass
guitar.

Thunderfingers is probably not something you’re going to listen to repeatedly,
unless you're a major Entwistle fan. It gives you a good overview of his solo
work, but it doesn’t hold up well for casual fans.



ELLA FITZGERALD: The Best of the Songbooks (3 disc set) (Verve)
Reviewed by Shaun Dale

Among the most extraordinary contributions in one of popular music's most
extraordinary careers was the songbook series recorded by Ella Fitzgerald. 
Documenting some of the most notable compositions by a group of the premier
composers of popular song (Harold Arlen, Irving Berlin, Duke Ellington, 
George & Ira Gershwin, Jerome Kern, Johnny Mercer, Cole Porter and Rogers
& Hart), and working with a stellar set of arrangers including Buddy 
Bregman, Billy May, Nelson Riddle and Paul Weston, the resulting body of
work constituted over 200 songs recorded over an 8 year span.

The entire collection exists as a 16 CD boxed set for those with champagne
tastes and a budget to match.  For those of us with a taste for the finest
and a somewhat tighter purse, Verve has assembled a three disc set of 
highlights, a total of 48 cuts, which should satisfy the needs of all but
the fanatic collector.

If there was a knock on Ella's talents, it was that she sang with precision
rather than the more soulful expression of contemporaries like Sarah Vaughn
or Dinah Washington.  What may have been a weakness to some ears in some
circumstances is one of the great strengths of this 3-plus hour collection 
of songs.  This is a precise, faithful presentation - perhaps the definitive
presentation - of some of the great standards of pop.

This set is a must have, and here's why:

Track List:

Disc One: Best of The Songbooks

Something's Gotta Give * Love is Here to Stay * Bewitched * I've Got My
Love to Keep Me Warm * The Lady is a Tramp * I Got it Bad (and That
Ain't Good) * Miss Otis Regrets * 'S Wonderful * Between the Devil and
the Deep Blue Sea * Love For Sale * They Can't Take That Away From Me *
Midnight Sun * Hooray for Love * Why Was I Born? * Cotton Tail * Ev'ry
Time We Say Goodbye

Disc Two: The Ballads

Oh, Lady, Be Good! * I'm Old Fashioned * Laura * Day Dream * Easy to
Love * It Was Written in the Stars * How Long Has This Been Going On? *
Let's Begin * Now It Can Be Told * There's a Small Hotel * Do Nothing
Till You Hear From Me * Ill Wind (You're Blowing Me No Good)* You're
Laughing At Me * A Ship Without a Sail * Trav'lin' Light * This Time the
Dream's On Me

Disc Three: Love Songs

From This Moment On * Solitude * Love You Madly * All the Things You Are
* I Concentrate On You * Out of This World * How About Me? * I'm
Beginning to See the Light * The Man I Love * I Remember You * I Let a
Song Go Out of My Heart * Always * Just One of Those Things * Prelude to
a Kiss * All Too Soon * Lover



BOBBY FULLER: Shakedown! The Texas Tapes Revisited (Del-Fi)
Reviewed by DJ Johnson

This 2-CD set has so much intrigue surrounding it that it's easy to miss the
bottom line.  It's very very good.  Simply put, but I believe it's accurate.
Bobby and Randy Fuller sounded damned good from the very beginning of their 
musical careers, and that's what this set is all about.  What it's not 
supposed to be about (but can't help being about) is the mysterious murder
of Bobby Fuller, the "what if" games, and the question that seems to have
two dozen answers for every two dozen people you ask: To whom do these tapes
rightfully belong?  For the purposes of this review, I'm going to leave those
subjects well alone, though we're planning on doing a little something about
it in a future issue.  Today, we talk about the music.

Most of this music was recorded at Bobby Fuller's studio in his parents El 
Paso, Texas home.  The band had been to Norman Petty's Clovis, New Mexico
studio to record a pair of tracks, but Bobby didn't much care for the final
results.  The sound quality of these tracks indicates Bobby's studio was
quite sufficient.  There are dropouts in places, but then there are dropouts
on most masters of the era.  From 1961 to 1964, Bobby and Randy, along with
a perpetually changing cast of supporting musicians, recorded 48 of these
50 tracks in that studio, honing their craft and developing the unique sound
that would make them world famous in 1966.  The excellent liner notes allow
you to track the band's development as you listen.

Among the archeological finds: two versions of their classic "I Fought The
Law," one with the tougher "robbin' people with a zip gun" line (later 
changed to "six-gun"); the earliest recording of Bobby's knockoff of Eddie
Cochrane, "Saturday Night"; and some primal instro surf like "Thunder Reef," 
"The Chase," "Skag," and "Wolfman" (presented here WITHOUT Wolfman Jack talking
all over the track).  As with all of the songs that would later be released
on Mustang Records, these versions are far more potent for their lack of
slick production.  The first of the two versions of "I Fought The Law" is 
worth the price of the package!  

There are a few of warts on display, the wartiest being their horrific 
attempt at "I Want To Hold Your Hand," which was bad enough BEFORE Bobby
apparently cranked the hi-hat microphone to a level beyond reason.  (But,
unfortunately, not loud enough to drown out the feeble vocal harmonies!)
Most often, however, the tracks are surprisingly tight, professional and
very well recorded, and the songs are quite well realized.  

Del-Fi has included a bonus track at the end of each disc, so you actually
get 52 tracks in the set.  The packaging is quite nice: the CDs look like 
tape reels and they come in what looks like an old fashioned Scotch open-reel 
tape box.  All of that is fine and good, but the bottom line is the thing, 
and that bottom line is this: unlike most "early years" packages, this one
would please even casual fans because the sound is clean, the performances 
are generally very good, and the songs are fantastic.  For the true Bobby
Fuller Four fanatic who is interested in the historical significance of this
music, this is far more than pleasing.



DIAMANDA GALAS: Schrel X (Mute)
Reviewed by John Sekerka

"Performed in total darkness. Play at maximum volume only. This is not ambient
music." These are the heady instructions that come with Diamanda Galas' 
latest vocal Olympic game. I must admit that Galas frightens me. Her voice,
her stare, her presence. She is not like the rest of us. There's probably an
X-File on her. Paranoid? Hell, give one listen to this record, fella. Shrieks,
squawks, bleeps, groans, cackles, whispers, octave gymnastics -- they all
come from one throat. Schrel X  is a blood curdling primal scream exercise 
which sets the listener up with faint, almost human like whispers before 
blowing yer eardrums sky high Daffy Duck style. As experiences go, this has
to be one of the most visceral ever recorded. I can't think of anything as 
frightening except maybe being in the same room when Galas performed the 
first set live [in the dark remember?].



STAN GETZ: East Of The Sun - The West Coast Sessions (Verve)
Reviewed by DJ Johnson

As most jazz fans know, there was something more than a dividing line between
east and west coast in the 50s and 60s.  To hear some people talk, it was
almost as cold as blue vs. gray.  

Possessor of one of the finest tones in jazz, tenor sax man Stan Getz hit the 
road at the ripe old age of 15, playing in Jack Teagarden's band, and later
with Woody Herman, Benny Goodman, Jimmy Dorsey and Stan Kenton. By the time
he was 18, he was a bandleader.  His musical territory was usually the east
coast, though he made his home in Los Angeles, California.  These sessions 
were done in California between 1955 and 1957 with west coast musicians, 
though Getz had little difficulty keeping his own sound.  With him at various
times during these sessions were Shelley Manne (drums), Lou Levy (piano),
Leroy Vinnegar (bass), Stan Levey (drums), and Conte Candoli (trumpet).

This three CD set from Verve offers wonderful jazz, to be sure, but there's
something special here: you are allowed to hear songs in development through
studio chatter, false starts, alternate takes and splice sections.  "Woody
'n' You," for instance, is pieced together and worked out right before your
ears, including various entrances and endings meant to be spliced into the
final version.  At times, you can hear Getz saying "naw, let's do it again,"
often immediately following a brilliant take.    

The most amazing track in the set is "S-h-i-n-e," a way-way-uptempo number
that, slowed down, would swing quite nicely.  At the pace it is played, 
however, the swing can't really be felt--and in fact, swing at this pace
could be dangerous as hell.  You know... the "please keep your hands in the
vehicle at all times" kind of dangerous.  At this tempo, most of the better
players would have to scale down their solos in order to keep it decipherable.
Not Stan Getz!  He's all over the place, barrel-rolling and pushing the
envelope like a stunt pilot with a death wish.  Not to be totally outdone,
Candoli tries to follow the smoke trail, and he does as well as any mere 
mortal could be expected to do.  After laying back for most of the side, 
he lets loose in his more customary style, energetic and even a bit muscular.
Batting third, as usual, is Levy. I expected some scaling-down from his norm,
considering how dense his playing is on the medium-tempo tracks, but I was
way off.  Levy plays impossibly crowded notes with such distinctive voicing
as to make each perfectly clear, and he makes it sound easy.  Any doubt I 
had coming into track #7 that Lou Levy was my favorite jazz pianist, at
least among the bebop crowd, has now been completely forgotten.  Lou da man!

For the casual jazz listener with a programmable CD player, these three CDs
have a lot to offer.  The sound quality is outstanding, the performances are
above and beyond, and the chemistry of the players is pure magic.  There are
enough complete and unique tracks to justify the purchase.  For the serious
student of jazz, on the other hand, I don't see any way to resist this rare
peek into the creation of some of the best music the genre has to offer.



GOLDEN PALOMINOS: Dead Inside (Restless)
Reviewed by John Sekerka

Exit Lori Carson, enter Nicole Blackman. The lush bass heavy sound of the 
Golden Palominos remains, but now the female lead is cooing disturbing 
violent sequences instead of steamy sex. Blackman opens with the chilling
'Victim,' managing to creep the hell out of me Reservoir Doggy style. No
mean feat. Her voice is deep and sensual, and that disturbs me further. 
It's still about man and woman though, except the rules of the game have
been thrown out. Blackman narrates her dark little morbid stories as musical
dictator Anton Fier sculpts thick seductive dub slabs of slow funk, not 
realizing he's met his match, and this really is Blackman's gig now. Like a 
diabolical chocolate treat, all sweet and yummy on the outside, but when you
get to the middle... You can't stay away, trust me.



GREENHOUSE AC: Doggy Bag  (Stupido Twins)
Reviewed by The Platterpuss

While I never stopped liking these guys, their last disc (this is their 3rd)
didn't quite connect with me the way the first one and their early 45s did. 
It seemed to me that they were trying a bit too hard to do something a little
different and the results sounded somewhat forced to me. With their latest,
they've returned to a simplicity that is as compelling and hard-hitting as 
anything they've ever done. As always, I prefer the flat-out rockers and 
songs like "Mr. Glue Won't Turn Blue," "Placebo(y)," "Pet Collection," "Dear
Machine" and "Crash Course" shake and stomp like crazy. Try ordering thru
NKVD (see the Gamma Men Review in the November issue of Cosmik Debris) and
you won't be sorry. (PO Box 301, 00121 Helsinki, FINLAND)



HINDEMITH: Kleine Kammermusik (for five wind instruments), Op. 24, No. 2; 
Sonatas: for Flute and Piano (1936); for Bassoon and Piano (1938); for Horn
and Piano (1939); for English Horn and Piano (1941). Ensemble Wien-Berlin: 
Wolfgang Schulz, Flute; Hansjorg Schellenberger, Oboe/English Horn; Karl 
Leister, Clarinet; Gunter Hogner, Horn; Milan Turkovic, Bassoon. Ferenc 
Bognar, Piano. (SONY SK 64400 [DDD] 67:39)
Reviewed by Robert Cummings

Although his 1995 centennial has generated a fair number of recordings, Paul
Hindemith has not been treated kindly in the compact disc era overall. While
fellow twentieth century composers, most notably Prokofiev, Shostakovich, 
Ravel and Rachmaninov, have flourished on silver, interest by the labels in 
this great German composer's music has curiously been lacking. In a sense 
the neglect is understandable: just a look at the headnote to the recording
under review informs one of a handful of works for odd or unpopular 
combinations of instruments. Hindemith didn't care that he might be going 
against the grain in writing works like these; he desired merely to compose
good music, the instrumental constraints foisted upon him by such choices
apparently not frustrating his fertile mind. And compose good music he did,
as this new Sony disc powerfully affirms.

The Flute and Horn Sonatas are masterpieces of chamber music. The former
piece vaguely reminds one of Prokofiev's tragic Eighth Piano Sonata. Yet 
this work is stately, heroic, hopeful, despite the political troubles 
plaguing Hindemith at that time, troubles that would prompt him to leave
Nazi Germany for Switzerland in 1938, wherefrom he would depart for the U.S.
in 1940. The Flute Sonata opens with one of those flowing, majestic, typically
Hindemithian themes that certainly wouldn't be out of place in his opera
Mathis der Maler. The whole movement exudes a confidence and optimism, the
melody spawning motifs and variations which infuse the music with a lasting
freshness. The second movement suggests sorrow and struggle and loneliness.
But Hindemith never wallows in gloom here; he remains philosophical, eschews
self-pity. The finale begins with a forward-looking, sprightly theme, but
turns reflective and slows to a halt, an underlying pessimism emerging that
threatens to provoke a collapse. There follows the heroic, all-conquering 
coda, however, that resolves the struggle resoundingly. 

Perhaps owing more to the nature of the instruments than to the musical 
design of the work, the Sonata for Horn and Piano comes across as a bit more
rugged. Yet even here, Hindemith exhibits delicacy and tenderness in his
writing, especially in the lyrical second movement, which is dominated by
the otherwise egalitarian piano. The whole work glows with a cogent
life-affirming resoluteness that befits this composer's noble life and 
noble compositions. 

The other sonatas here are hardly minor works, barely a notch below their
disc-mate siblings. The principal instrument in each is in the same family:
the English horn (also known as the cor anglais) is a step below the oboe; 
the bassoon, two steps. The Sonata for English Horn and Piano is deftly
scored and full of color: playful here and exotically mournful there, the
work captures many moods with astonishingly imaginative skill. The Bassoon
Sonata is anything but the dour-sounding work one might expect; its second
movement is especially lovely. As for the disc's leadoff piece, the Kleine 
Kammermusik, it is a delight in its witty exploration of the sonic realms
of the five featured instruments. 
	
Some of these sonatas have received attention of late from two minor labels,
Camerata and cpo. I have not heard either of these issues but am fully 
confident the performances on this Sony disc are eminently recommendable.
Pianist Ferenc Bognar is especially excellent, capturing the Hindemithian
idiom with an intuitive grasp that never goes astray. All the players here, 
in fact, play at or near his level. Sony offers superb sound, too. If you
like Hindemith, or think you might, don't miss this disc. 



HUEVOS RANCHEROS: Get Outta Dodge (Mint)
Reviewed by DJ Johnson

OW!  Ya hear what I'm sayin' to ya?  I said OOOWWWWWW!!!  This little EP/CD
is something like 18 minutes long, so I know I wasn't unconscious for much
longer than that.  All I knew, initially, is that the CD was over and my foot
was still shakin'.  Suddenly, it all came back to me, and I found myself 
firing it up again.  "What A Way To Run A Railroad" blazes across the speakers
like a wildfire.  As much as I loved previous recordings by this Canadian
trio, I have to say that the addition of Cantankerous Tom (on bass) has brought
a new nastiness to an already powerful sound.  

Most of the seven tracks are similarly supercharged rockers -- flavor bombs
made up of metal, country-swing, surf, and all out garage madness.  "Interstate
Death Toll" will please the instro-surf crowd, as will "Shadow Of The Apache,"
while the whole package will knock out the rock n roll energy junkies.  The
title track has a fun little intro you'll probably recognize right away --
it's the intro to AC/DC's "Sin City," which seems mighty appropriate, since
that influence figures heavily into Huevos' punch.  

After all the high voltage mayhem, Huevos closes this set with an incredibly
beautiful reading of the instro classic "The Lonely Bull."  It is one of the
most memorable melodies ever written, and Huevos does it justice.  This track
causes instant goosebumps.  What a great record this is.  Huevos Rancheros
just keeps getting better.



THE HUNTINGTON CADS: Go Exotic!  (Mai Tai)
Reviewed by John Sekerka

Ah, the Cad: a smoking jacketed sleazy creature of the male persuasion often 
seen making ungentlemanly moves on the opposite sex with a martini in one
hand and a cigar in the other. A simple pleasure seeker who prefers to follow
his pursuits to the sublime yet sexually innuendoic instrumental music of 
exotica. Such that is found on this latest release from the waxy home of Mai
Tai records. The Huntington Cads take their name from the posh drive in the
San Gabriel Valley where gents of ill repute and money to burn tend to 
frequent. They steal their music from John Barry's lounge, Henry Mancini's
soundtracks and The Ventures' surf, creating an instrumental cocktail shaker
that threatens to blow the party wide open, but prefers to remain in perfect
control at all times. Very swank indeed.



CURTIS MAYFIELD: New World Order (Warner Bros.)
Reviewed by DJ Johnson

Curtis Mayfield is one of the most important figures in the history of 
popular music.  His story would make an amazing movie, and it wouldn't
surprise me at all to see it happen someday.  Beginning with the great
soul group, The Impressions, Curtis' songs have touched millions of
people of all races.  His lyrics were often about understanding and 
empowerment, and his beautiful voice put those messages across as nobody
else could.	 In 1990, his 33-year career seemed to come to a tragic end
when a lighting rig fell on him during a concert in Brooklyn, New York,
breaking his neck and leaving him a quadriplegic.

Six years later, Curtis has returned to the studio to record a deeply
personal and  truly beautiful album.  New World Order signals Curtis'
return as a voice of social consciousness and love.  The title track is 
a message of hope for a brand new day where the poverty trap is lifted
and families have a fighting chance of making it.  In a world by no means
free of racism, Curtis is once again raising his voice--not in protest,
but in guidance.  "Beware of the lies and false prophecies - We are many
with eyes but don't all really see - You must be merciful, my friend, to
obtain the same - So if you break the chain, don't pass the blame."  

New World Order contains many highlights, but there is one moment that 
must be particularly satisfying to Curtis: "Just A Little Bit Of Love"
features his 14 year old son, Blaise Mayfield, performing a short rap
and showing quite a bit of talent and style in the process.  Another 
track that demands special mention is the reworking of Curtis' 1970
classic, "We People Who Are Darker Than Blue."  The orchestration of 
the original is replaced with background vocals being run through a
talk-box.  The groove is more ethereal this time around, in keeping with
the mood of the album, and I'm pleasantly surprised to find that I much
prefer this version to the original--which was always one of my favorite
Mayfield tracks in the first place.

"The Got Dang Song" is more uptempo than most of the other tracks, and it's
one of the greatest highlights as well.  Essentially a reggae tune, it 
features steel drums, congas and shakers, and an uplifting and festive
rhythm.  Quite a nice surprise.

There are a few other surprises on New World Order, but I think I'll leave
them for you to discover.  When you consider the fact that Curtis had to
record this album flat on his back, singing in short bursts until his 
oxygen momentarily left him, almost any final product would have to be
called a victory.  New World Order is much more than that.  It's a 
startlingly personal, powerful and beautiful work from a very special 
individual.



THE McCRACENS/THE CHEEKS: Split EP (Screaming Apple)
Reviewed by The Platterpuss

What can I say about The McCrackens that I haven't said already? They are
one of the best young punk bands on the scene today, and if you like outfits
like Screeching Weasel, The Queers, or Bum, you need to own whatever you can
get your hands on by these guys. I've never heard The Cheeks before but, 
judging from their 2 songs here, they play in the same basic 
Ramones-on-hyperdrive style and they do a damn good job of it too. One of
their songs is a cover of something I've heard before but can't remember,
and the other is an original. All 4 songs on here are simply fantastic
and if you are as into this whole melodic poppy punk thing as I am, you
will want to track down a copy of this.


    
MOMUS: The Poison Boyfriend (1987, Creation)
Reviewed by Keith Gillard.

1987 saw the signing of Momus to the well-respected Creation label, where 
he was to spend several years, until they decided to drop him and pick up
Oasis.  Well, at least they got a lot of money to compensate for the loss
of a great songwriter.

"The Poison Boyfriend" seems very influenced by Leonard Cohen, more so than
Momus' later work, although the influence of Serge Gainsbourg has already 
begun to appear in his lyrics.  Momus seemed to find "his style" with the
following album, "Tender Pervert."  It is very interesting to listen to this
pre-Pervert material, still very strong work, but different from what we
later came to expect from Momus.

The album opens with "The Gatecrasher," a piece which was later revisited 
on "Slender Sherbet."  The sparse drumming and synthesizer choir back up
some very tasteful acoustic guitar.  I prefer this early version to the 
very dark and sombre version which was released on "Sherbet."  In this
version, you feel some sympathy for the disturbing figure of the gatecrasher.

"Violets" features some Parisian-style accordion with acoustic guitar and 
bass, oddly layered over an obvious drum machine.  The Italian final chorus
is a very nice touch, more completely establishing the mood than an English
reprise would.  "Islington John" has surreal lyrics, reminiscent somewhat
of some of Yello's more melodic eastern-flavoured material.   

"Three Wars" makes an analogy between growing up and growing old and the
wars of this century (World Wars I and II, and a projected WWIII). Although
it is a strong stand-alone work, in many ways it seems a precursor to "The
Charm of Innocence," in chords and melody as well as subject matter.  Its
brilliant lyrics are biting and cynical.  Here is an example: 

"The first war,the war of 14 to 18 Begins with an uprising of adrenaline
The first war begins with the testicles descending And desire assassinating 
the child that you once were The war begins at school when you rebel against
the maths teacher Who touched you up behind his desk And ends when you've 
failed your final maths exam And had your first success with sex The war 
brings new discoveries How to make dog fights with your thyroid and pituitary
glands How the Zeppelin can fly at your command."

"Flame Into Being" begins with a "man and his guitar" simple folk arrangement, 
and then bursts into a very dramatic chorus, much as the title would suggest.
The piece builds gradually, adding a zither sound, bass, congas and pizzicato
strings as it progresses.

"Situation Comedy Blues" actually does sound like a theme song to some mid-80's
sitcom.  It is a cutting exploration of life imitating "art" and vice-versa.
The protagonist is a television writer, writing a story proposal to vaguely 
reflect the troubles in his own life, which has come to resemble his own
lowest-common-denominator-serving work.

"Sex for the Disabled" tells the story of a Hell's Angel and a female
bodybuilder whose paths cross when the biker crashes his bike through the
plate-glass window of her gym. The accident confines the biker to a 
wheelchair.  In the final verses, Momus seems to be drawing an analogy
between this situation and the change in British politics in the '80's. 

One of my all-time favourite Momus songs concludes the album: "Closer to 
You."  To this point, "Closer to You" was probably Momus' most genuine piece
of music, as well as his best production work.  The electronic percussion
groove, occasionally punctuated by piano or guitar, is hypnotic. It serves
as a background to a very interesting piece of prose, arranged more in 
paragraphs than in lines or verses, brilliantly written.  The lyrics build
over time to an expression of uncompromised love.  I quote here from the
final verse, but it really needs the build-up of the previous verses to set
the mood correctly:

"And when I've won you, when I've fallen down in front of you and said 
'Damn Franz Kafka, damn the Thin White Duke, it's you and you alone I'm 
doing this for'... When I'm through with heroes and pastiche, ('throwing 
darts in lovers' eyes'), when you've let me make love to you the slowest
deepest way that I know how (when you do that for me baby) and it feels so 
good, that's when I'll think of Paul Klee's epitaph: 'Here lies the painter
Paul Klee, somewhat closer to the heart of creation, but far from close 
enough'.  And girl, here I lie, far from close enough to you."

Overall, "The Poison Boyfriend" is a very strong and interesting album.  It
was more an indicator of great things to come than it was a great album in
and of itself.  I can recommend it to anyone who likes Momus' later work.

Songwriting: 9/10
Production:	6/10
Performance: 8/10
Overall: 8/10



MONDO TOPLESS: Fifty Thousand Dollar Hand Job (360 Twist)
Reviewed by DJ Johnson

I reviewed the debut single from this killer retromod band in the July issue
of Cosmik Debris, and I closed by saying "Mondo Topless has a full length
release in the works, and if this 7" is any indication, it's going to be
something else."  TOLD YA SO TOLD YA SO TOLD YA SO!!!  Damn, I love sayin'
that.

Fifty Thousand Dollar Hand Job far surpasses expectations. 	14 tracks of 
powerful pop music anchored by Tom Connors (drums) and Jamie Mahon (bass),
well doused in fuzz by guitarist Vince Friel, and blasted into the sky by
the cyclonic keyboard playing of Sam Steinig (who happens to be just about 
my favorite vocalist in this genre).  The album begins in chaos, with a 
building storm of guitars, bass and drums rising inside the swirling keyboard,
which suddenly deposits you, Dorothy, and her little dog into a great tune
called "Dragstrip."  From there on in, it's mostly full speed ahead -- with
one exception: "Real Gone Girl" is the least typical track on the album, but
it's my favorite.  I like the slow surreal stuff, and this one has a great 
Doors feel similar to "When The Music's Over."  Friel's distant and lonely 
guitar wails make this song a spine-tingler.  

At the other end of the spectrum is the title track, a rambunctious R&B rave
up in the tradition of mid-period Ten Years After in which everybody in the
band gets their ya-ya's out.  Between these ends, you'll find Mondo Topless'
bread and butter: Hoppin' wall-of-sound retro-rock built around Steinig's 
keyboards and great voice.

If there was any justice in this world, there would be a category for this 
music at the Grammy's, Fuzz, Acid and Flowers would be required reading 
in schools all over the world, and Mondo Topless would be in high rotation 
on all FM stations and MTV.  Well...I can dream, can't I?  (360 Twist 
Records: PO Box 9367, Denver, CO 80209, USA. Call 303-715-1858.)



THE MONKEES: Justus (Rhino)
Reviewed by DJ Johnson

I confess that I didn't expect anything at all from this disc.  And that's
why the first track made me so damned happy!  Having grown up in the age
of the original Prefab Four, I'm not ashamed to admit to owning several
CD's and LP's of Monkees material.  I'm also quite proud that my very first
concert was The Monkees.  But even I was able to see that most of what they
recorded in "80's comeback mode" was best forgotten as soon as possible. 
Some of the songs on "Justus," their new Rhino release, are just so-so, and
one or two are even regrettable, but hey, Monkees fans, there are quite a 
few tunes here that will make your day!  

Michael Nesmith, who steadfastly refused to be associated with previous 
comeback attempts, not only participated in these recording sessions: he 
appears to have been the driving force behind them.  Mickey Dolenz credits
him for making it all happen.  "Circle Sky" and "Admiral Mike,"	both penned
by Nez, have distortion, power, attitude... it's like The Punkees!  Pretty
convincing, too.  I'm not sure who Nez was mad at when he wrote "Admiral
Mike," but I'm glad it wasn't me.  Scathing stuff, this.  A handful of 
Mickey's tracks make the grade, as well. "Dyin' Of A Broken Heart" is cool
and quirky, with an unusual beat and powerful guitar vamping by Nez, and
"Regional Girl" is right up there with Mike's tunes for sheer wall-of-sound
intensity.  

Peter Tork gets his shots in, as well, and this time it's not comic relief.
Not that "Auntie Grizelda" wasn't charming, mind you.  It's just that "I
Believe You" is a real song--ethereal, cerebral, and intense.  Peter plays
a very unusual acoustic piano part that almost kicks it into the psychedelia
genre.  Davey Jones contributed a pair of tracks to the project, and though
neither of them are "bad," they aren't...well, they aren't my favorites.
Then again, it was always Davey's tracks that had to grown on me way back
when.  

So the CD ends, and it's time to figure out what I just heard.  My conclusion
is that this is a surprisingly good release.  Would I like it quite as much
if it was some new band I knew nothing about?  Probably not QUITE as much,
but the strongest songs would still rate a good review.  Is it right to allow
bias into a review?  I dunno.  But I mean, hey, hey...it's the Monkees.  Have
some respect.



THE MOUNT MCKINLEY'S: Portrait Of A Mindbender (Get Hip)
Reviewed by DJ Johnson

This band captures the spirit and mood of the 60's semi-psych garage scene
as well as anybody around today.  The chords are chunky, the vocals are 
slightly out of key and very snarly, the drummer loses about five pounds on
every track, and there are three layers of fuzz to complete your garage fix.
The track order calls for vocal-instrumental-vocal-instrumental most of the
way, and they kick in either situation.  There are several great moments
within each song -- like when the heavily distorted guitar suddenly loses
the fuzz and continues soloing with nothing but reverb in "Quantum Interspacial
Universal Synergetic Communication."  (At 1:17, it takes longer to say that
title than to listen to the song!)  The atmosphere changes drastically, 
becoming even more cerebral and introspective.  There's a certain buzz I can
only get from great atmospheric garage music, and this one surely does 
have me buzzin'. (Get Hip: PO Box 666, Canonsburg, PA 15317)



NORGARD: Luna (1967)1; Symphony No. 3 (1972-75)2; Twilight 
(1976-77,  rev. 1979)3; The Danish National Radio Symphony 
Orchestra and Chorus2 conducted by Herbert Blomstedt1, Tamas 
Veto2, Jan Latham-Koenig3; Hedwid Rummel2, Alto; Tom Nyboe3, 
Conga. MARCO POLO/dacapo 8.224041 [AAD] 76:50 
Reviewed by Robert Cummings

On the inside cover of this disc's booklet there appears a picture of the
Danish composer Per Norgard (b. 1932). With longish blond hair, darkness
around the eyes, well chiseled rugged features, and a kindly, avuncular air
about his face, he looks the quintessential Scandinavian artist. He also
looks like his music. If I can describe the man, and if I can liken his 
physical appearance to his music, why do I find it so difficult to describe
that music? Perhaps the answer is that Norgard is very much a unique creator,
very much his own man. Yes, there are strains of Nielsen in his works, and 
even of Pettersson, and, more remotely, of Ives. But I suspect the
similarities, at least in the case of the latter two, are more the product
of coincidence than of imitation or tribute. And, too, in Norgard's world
there is relatively little conflict (as in Nielsen) or violence (Pettersson)
or brashness (Ives). 

The major work here is the monumental Symphony No. 3. Cast in two movements,
the music utilizes the composer's "infinite row" concept: Norgard composes 
an interval in both directions (up and down), that spawns other intervals,
which yield still new ones, and on and on. The system is a rather elaborate 
cousin of minimalism. The first movement begins with the birth of the work's
harmony, then of its melody, then of its rhythm. It seems in constant growth,
in constant formation, unsettled. The second movement is more animated and
complex, more unpredictable as it colors in the formed but barren outlines 
left from the previous movement. In the latter part the chorus enters to 
sing praise to the Blessed Virgin and to sing a section from Rilke's Sing,
O My Heart, Of The Gardens You Know Not. 

The effect of the work is uplifting: you sense through the multifarious
musical ideas, in their sometimes dense textures and many dissonances, that
the work encompasses a whole world, its life, its sorrows, and finally its
peace.  

Luna, which is Latin for Moon, is a short eerie-sounding work, consisting 
mainly of slow music that at times borders on inertia. True, the piece is
full of deliciously atmospheric night music: sustained chords that swell
ominously, howls that chill to the bone, muted strings that sound
otherworldly. In the end, though, the music seems a bit strong on mood and
effects, a bit short on substance.

Twilight employs the conga drum, perhaps to suggest, as the notes point out,
a Latin American inspiration: the title refers to a quotation by Mexican
magician Don Juan from a book about him by anthropologist Carlos Castaneda.
Other than the rhythms of the conga, however, the work rarely, if ever,
evokes images of anything Latin. We are closer here in spirit to the world 
of the Third Symphony, the work seeming to evolve toward a profound 
resolution of some uncertainty. 

If you're interested in contemporary classical music, you'll find this 
reissue indispensable. The three conductors all capture the expressive heart
of these compositions, and the performances by the DNRSO and its chorus are
idiomatic and committed. The recordings were made by the Danish company
dacapo and apparently licensed to the innovative Marco Polo label (an outfit,
in case you're unaware, that issues things you generally can't get from
anyone else). Luna was originally recorded in 1968, the remaining two in 
1982. The sound, while not up to today's highest standards, is quite
serviceable, nonetheless. The notes are excellent. A must for latter-day
twentieth-century music aficionados. 



OSCAR PETERSON TRIO:  The London House Sessions (5 Disc Set) (Verve)
Reviewed by Shaun Dale

In the summer of 1961, the Trio (Peterson, piano; Ray Brown, bass; Ed 
Thigpen, drums) played a 26 day engagement at Chicago's London House.
Verve recorded six of those days, produced four live albums from the
resulting masters and stored a similar amount of unreleased material in
their vaults - until now.

Many of the unreleased tracks were rejected because of excessive
background noise and other hazards of live recording.  These problems
have been ameliorated, but not completely resolved in this 5 disc
release of the entire catalog of London House recordings.  But, after
all, it *is* Oscar Peterson, and he does have ways of distracting you
from the occasional rattle of silverware in the background.

This is Peterson whole - with all of his talent, all of his excesses and
all of the energy that has fueled a career spanning half a century.  It
is arguably Peterson at his best.  Some artists require the discipline
of the studio to shine, but Peterson is among those who is at his best
when an audience is on hand.  The differences reflected in the songs
that were repeated over the course of the recordings demonstrate to a
degree the influence of audience on artist, and it is an influence which
benefits the listener today.

If you're a fan, this is an indispensable chronicle of the master at one
of the most fertile periods of his long career.  If you don't know Oscar
Peterson, or have never understood why the people who like his music
seem to love his music, this is a good place to find out.

Track List:

Disc One:

I've Never Been In Love Before * In the Wee Small Hours of the Morning *
Chicago * The Night We Called It a Day * Sometimes I'm Happy * Whisper
Not * Billy Boy * Tricotism * Billy Boy

Disc Two:

On Green Dolphin Street * Thag's Dance * Ill Wind * Kadota's Blues * Put
On a Happy Face * Old Folks * Woody 'n' You * Yesterdays

Disc Three:

Diablo * Soon * The Lonesome One * No Greater Love * I Remember Clifford
* Autumn Leaves * Blues for Big Scotia * Swamp Fire * I Love You * It
Happened in Monterey * Billy Boy

Disc Four:

On Green Dolphin Street * Moanin' * Billy Boy * Scrapple From the Apple
* Jim * Band Call * The Night We Called It a Day * The Lonesome One *
The Gravy Waltz * Woody 'n' You * Soon * Daahoud

Disc Five:

As Long as There's Music * Close Your Eyes * Cubano Chant * Sometime's
I'm Happy * Sophisticated Lady * Better Luck Next Time * Confirmation



PULLEY: Esteem Driven Engine (Epitaph)
Reviewed by DJ Johnson

This is the third Epitaph release in a two month period that has really
impressed me.  Down By Law and The Descendents both turned in outstanding
albums filled with songs that were actually about something.  Esteem Driven
Engine puts Pulley in the same column.  Several of the songs tell fragments 
of the same story: the search for meaning and direction in life.  While 
that story has been told a zillion times from the viewpoint of disaffected
youth, this seems to be coming from someone just leaving that orbit. 

"Four Walls" voices the frustrations of a man who, at first glance, appears
to be on the cusp of agoraphobia.  "The couch is like quicksand - The floor
is like tar - The TV sucks me in - assures I won't get far."  It's not fear
of the outside world so much as lack of motivation.  "Procrastination - 
Gotta get my shit together - Gotta go out and get a life of my own."  This
is a pretty good example of the tone of the album, so if you're looking for
something uplifting, find another band.  It's all about angst, confusion, 
and ultimate loneliness.  The stories are delivered by hard driving melodic
punk music with slamming rhythms and snarling guitars, just the way the
good lord intended.

Pulley has an interesting side story worth telling: Scott Radinsky, the lead
vocalist, is a relief pitcher for the Los Angeles Dodgers.  How many times
have you seen little segments before a game where they talked about this
player or that player and his "rock and roll band," only to hear music that
neither rocked nor rolled?  Here's a world class athlete who happens to front
a real band.



RED AUNTS: Saltbox (Epitaph)
Reviewed by DJ Johnson

Here's a band that's hard to peg.  A lot of their music sounds overly 
simplistic, as in "we barely play our instruments, but here's some attitude
and a few chords for ya."  But just when you're ready to accept and enjoy
them for that approach, they pull off a number like "$5" with a handful
of tricky tempo changes, or "Ruby," which combines Devo-esque herky-jerky
rhythms with a piano part that sounds like somebody's having a seizure on
the keys.  Quite effective, that.  There are times when the simple approach
seems to be TOO simple, leaving the track a bit gutless--although I've been
told that it's a whole nuther story	live.  At other times, the energy is
contagious, the hooks are in place, and everything clicks.  I love the way
they end the CD with "Goin' Downtown," a slow blues tune with a slide guitar
that sounds like Elmore James on ludes.  It's catching, too, because as the
track slinks along, everybody seems to get the shakes.  At the foundation of
this condemned building is a lonely sounding honky-tonk piano.  I can't 
remember hearing anything like this song before.  These ladies sure have 
some unusual sounds.



RED HOT CHILI PEPPERS: Mother's Milk
24k Gold re-release (Mobile Fidelity Sound Lab)
Produced by Michael Beinhorn
(re-release produced by Felix Pappalardi)
Reviewed by Alex Gedeon

1988 saw the death of Hillel Slovack, guitarist and one of the four
founding members of the Red Hot Chili Peppers. Despite being a devastation
to the group, Slovack's death led singer Anthony Kiedis and bassist Flea
(Michael Balzary) to sobriety, and the mature, self-confident sound that
the group is now associated with. A line-up change also took place:
eighteen-year-old John Frusciante stepped in as guitarist, and Detroit 
native Chad Smith (formerly of Toby Redd) took a seat at the drums. A 
smooth combination of the funk heard on 1985's Freaky Styley, and the
punk of 1987's The Uplift Mofo Party Plan, prevailed for the short but
sweet 1989 release of Mother's Milk.

Along with Jane's Addiction's Nothing Shocking and a handful of other
albums, Mother's Milk helped change what was acceptable popular music,
in a time when anthem-rock bands like Def Leppard and Winger dominated
the air waves. This change eventually led to the so-called "Alternative 
Music" movement. Mother's Milk also bought the Chili Peppers enough
prestige to sign with Warner Brothers two years later, and release
1992's grammy-nominated BloodSugarSexMagik.

Mother's Milk's popularity could have been attributed to the band's 
cover of Stevie Wonder's "Higher Ground," released as a single shortly 
after "Knock Me Down," which reached No. 4 on the Billboard Charts.
Tracks such as "Good Time Boys" and the ode to the Los Angeles Lakers 
"Magic Johnson" showed that the band had maintained the element of fun
in their music, creating an appeal to college radio in particular.

The new complexity of some of the album's songs may have been caused
by artistic development, or, simply, the band's new guitarist. The
tracks "Subway To Venus" and "Nobody Weird Like Me" are perfect examples,
in which Hendrix-like riffs are incorporated into fast-paced punk rock. 
The band's sliding away from the image of Kiedis as a sex-crazed 
smooth-talker may have also been the result of Frusciante, with songs
like "Pretty Little Ditty" showing that the Peppers had more to offer 
than teeth-gritting masculinity.

"Mother's Milk" may be seen as a stepping stone in the evolution of
a garage-band to a more engaging and dynamic group. While the recent
re-release of the album is not re-mastered, the liner notes have been
re-designed, and--hey! It's gold!! Chili Pepper connoisseurs might 
want to check out the deluxe package, but the disc is more of a collector's 
item than anything else. 



RUSH: Test for Echo (Atlantic 82925 2)
Reviewed by Paul Remington

After 22 years and more than 15 releases, the members of Rush have 
established themselves as major players in the rock scene. Their 
unique blend of musicianship and creativity has yielded an impressive
catalog of material. Like most bands that have existed as long as 
Rush, their sound has matured and changed over the years. Gone are 
the days when AM radio programmed progressive rock, airing long and 
flowing aural creations and instrumentally based jams that provided 
bands like Pink Floyd, Yes, Genesis, and others a platform to present 
their works. With the birth of Generation X, the MTV era swiftly altered
a band's position in the marketplace. The production of music videos 
became as much a factor in the marketing of a band as the music the band
created. The Nineties offer more possibilities, with many bands hopping 
on the multimedia bandwagon, producing works that operate in tandem with 
your computer, offering video and audio capabilities.

As a result, a preponderance of bands have produced CDs that are air-ready,
right out of the jewel case. Void of long jams and aural exploration, 
practically every tune can be played on any radio station in America, and
each are video-friendly, only four to five minutes in length, at best.

Rush's Test for Echo falls within this framework with a somewhat 
homogenized collection of material. As time and technology have changed
the way popular music is marketed, so has Rush changed to strike a 
balance between their musical creativity and writing for the commercial
rock market. This is not to say their sound is sanitized of musical
creativity and a flexing of musical chops. The talent of Geddy Lee, 
Alex Lifeson, and Neil Peart assures a characteristically solid and 
forceful performance. Rush has perfected the ability to achieve that 
"big league" sound within their trio format. How many trios can you 
name that have positioned themselves in the fore of commercial rock, 
creating a sound that leaves one thinking there must be more than three
musicians in the band?

Test for Echo communicates mankind's need for positive reinforcement. 
Peart explains, "Everybody needs an `echo,' some affirmation to know 
they're not alone. Sometimes that can be life's most precious discovery
- somebody out there who feels the way you do. You ask yourself, `Am I
crazy?' `Am I weird?', and you need some affirmation: the echo." This
became not only the concept for the album, but also a practice in each 
of their lives. Lee and Lifeson posted inspirational slogans on the walls
of the studio during the sessions - for example, "Individually, we are
ass; but together we are genius."

This affirmation expresses the confidence each musician has in the 
creativity of the band. For a year and a half prior to the recording
of Test for Echo, each band member explored other projects outside of
Rush. During this time Lee and his wife produced a baby, Lifeson 
produced a solo release, and Peart produced a tribute to the big band
music of Buddy Rich. Peart's hiatus from Rush inspired him to explore 
his abilities as a drummer rather than a performer. He used this mindset
during the recording sessions of Test for Echo.

Rather than take their usual approach of developing material as the
recording sessions progress, the Test for Echo sessions were approached 
differently. The writing process of each tune occurred in tandem with 
the recording sessions. Lee and Lifeson would combine musical ideas with
their written lyrics, then record the fragment before going to the next
section. Peart explains, "They didn't want to get bogged-down in the 
`jigsaw puzzle' of assembling whole songs, but rather keep the momentum
going with a fresh flow of ideas."

Rush's creative force is still alive, decades since its conception. There 
are very few bands that can make this claim. While some fans pine for the
days of All the World's a Stage, 2112, and A Farewell to Kings, Rush 
continues to satisfy their audience with good commercial rock. The 
recording is excellent and the lyrics are dense and creative. With a tour
in full swing, Rush continues to explore their combined talent. Their 
expanding audience ensures we will be hearing more music from Canada's
most popular power trio.



THE SHAMBLES: Reviving Spark (1+2 Records - Distributed through Get Hip)
Reviewed by DJ Johnson

The Shambles are a supergroup drawn from two of San Diego's most important
garage bands of the 80s: Manual Scan and Tell Tale Hearts.  After about a
zillion lineup changes in a five year period, they appear to be ready to 
release their debut album.  And this isn't even it!

Reviving Spark contains a cool dozen demos and early singles by this band
that once called itself The Fiascos before going with the more 60s-sounding
Shambles.  The sound is 60s pop played very well, and the songs have that 
"wasn't this a hit in 1966" quality that is oh so hard to come by. A bunch
of these tracks are classics in their own right.  "I Can't Don't Want To" 
is instantly memorable and infinitely likable, and "Fire" and "Louise" are
almost that good. 

According to the liners, there will be more soon (the aforementioned "debut
album"), so this would be a great introduction.  These guys are good enough
to revive the San Diego spark and start the whole thing over again.  Wouldn't 
it be nice?	 (Distributed by Get Hip Records: Call 412-231-4766 or send a
fax to 412-231-4777 for information.)



MICHELLE SHOCKED: Mercury Poise: 1988-1995 (Mercury)
Reviewed by Steve Marshall

The first time I heard Michelle Shocked was in the wee hours of the morning
when MTV played the video for "When I Grow Up"--a song from her major label
debut, Short Sharp Shocked. The song immediately caught my attention. This
was not your typical MTV fare by any stretch of the imagination. It featured
an unusual bass line that made you sit up and take notice, layered over 
assorted jungle noises and blaring horns on the chorus. Short Sharp Shocked
was a mixture of folk and blues-based songs. It wasn't exactly a commercial
success, but it had several interesting tracks. Along with "When I Grow Up,"
highlights included the bluesy "If Love was a Train" and "Anchorage." All
three tunes are on the new CD. 

On her follow-up album, Captain Swing, Shocked ventured into a jazzier sound. 
Several of the songs featured a horn section and although the songs were 
generally less than three minutes long, it allowed her to try something 
different. For me, this album was her finest moment. Captain Swing included
the calypso hit "On the Greener Side" and garnered her considerable airplay. 
However, two of the album's best tracks didn't make the cut on Mercury Poise. 
The campy "God is a Real Estate Developer" and the blistering blues track 
"Sleep Keeps Me Awake" both should have been included. 

Shocked's third album, Arkansas Traveler, was a big disappointment after 
Captain Swing. Aside from the excellent "Come a Long Way" (included here),
the country/bluegrass tunes on the CD were pretty forgettable. As far as 
new music goes, the years following Arkansas Traveler have been sparse for 
Shocked.  She contributed a track to the first Sweet Relief project and 
recorded a self-produced CD called Kind Hearted Woman. Until getting picked
up by her new label, this CD was only available at her concerts. Mercury 
Poise includes one track from Kind Hearted Woman, "Stillborn." Unfortunately,
Shocked's vocal is little more than an annoyance, and the song doesn't 
represent the album fairly. Then again, maybe that was the intention. 

Shocked apparently ran into problems with Mercury after Arkansas Traveler
and was subsequently released from her contract - hence the 'new' CD. On a 
more positive note, she retained the rights to all her material. Regardless
of the intent, Mercury Poise is an excellent primer for someone wanting to
explore Shocked's diverse musical talents.

		 

SPLITSVILLE U.S.A.: S/T  (Big Deal)
Reviewed by The Platterpuss

I wasn't sure of what to expect when I found this waiting for me in my 
mailbox one afternoon. With its cartoony cover photo and artwork, it  looked
more like a joke than anything else. And with song titles like "Come Back To
The Five and Dime, Larry Storch, Larry Storch," "Brenda Starr" and "I Was A
Teenage Frankenstein," I was a trifle skeptical, to say the least. Boy, was 
I in for a pleasant surprise. While the overall mood is definitely on the 
whimsical side, this is also some of the hookiest, most hummable power pop 
I've heard in ages. Picture a combination of one-half Young Fresh Fellows 
and the other half Pooh Sticks and you'll have a pretty good idea of what's 
going on here. Definitely recommended. (PO Box 2072, Peter Stuyvesant 
Station, NYC NY 10009-9998) 



SUBSONICS: Everything Is Falling Apart (Get Hip)
Reviewed by DJ Johnson

What if The Velvet Underground never took hallucinogenics, had never met 
Andy Warhol (and had therefore never had Nico foisted upon them) and had
been able to keep their sense of humor from song to song?  Subsonics offer
a fairly accurate working model of that hypothetical.  I didn't see it at
first, primarily because I was trying to figure out what the other ingredient
was that I was hearing in their sound.  But my fellow Cosmik writer, Shaun
Dale, had it pegged.  "C'mon, Deej, listen to them!  Talk about your Lou
Reed fixation!"  Okay, okay, I hear it now.  And maybe a touch of The Cramps,
and maybe a hint of Sparks.  They make a nice soup, though.  

15 tracks in under 25 minutes means you can't blink or you'll miss the hooks.
Where most bands follow the "formula" that calls for four lines per verse, 
Subsonics like to make it one line, followed by a half-line bridge, a one
line chorus, and so on...for about a minute and ten seconds.  What's weird
is that the songs stick like glue.  "I Made You A Clown" has been stuck in
my head for a week now.  It's a bunch of things: the catchy melody, the 
bizarre vocal delivery (which is the part that reminds me of Sparks), the
cool washboard-like rhythm guitar part... and especially the way it all 
sounds together.

As anybody from the Subsonics' loyal fan base can tell you, it doesn't matter
that you wear your influences on your sleeve, just as long as you do something
to make the sound your own.  Once you hear Subsonics, you'll always be able
to name that band in three notes.  (Get Hip: PO Box 666, Canonsburg, PA 15317)



TCHAIKOVSKY: Piano Concerto No. 2 in G Major, Op. 44; Fantasie de Concert 
in G Major, Op. 56. Bernd Glemser, Piano; Polish National Radio Symphony 
Orchestra conducted by Antoni Wit. NAXOS 8.550820 [DDD] 75:41
Reviewed by Robert Cummings

Bernd Glemser, a young German pianist, has recently turned in scorching
accounts of the Rachmaninov Third and Prokofiev Sonatas 2, 7, and 8 on
Naxos discs (how does this label consistently find such talent from the 
ranks of the little known?). Here, he continues to impress with a thrilling, 
beautifully-phrased performance of the Tchaikovsky Second Concerto, a work
which, like the Third, has languished in relative obscurity until the last
decade or two, overshadowed by the immensely popular First, without doubt
the most played and recorded concerto in the classical repertory. The disc 
is generously filled out with a splendid rendition of the Concert Fantasy. 

Glemser, besides possessing a technique to rival any, plays with heartfelt 
commitment and an acute sense of clarity. Under his fingers nothing 
degenerates into opacity or haziness, and nothing above them smells of the 
scent of calculation or virtuosic grandstanding. His is a talent of 
cultivated artistry that both convinces the mind and seduces the ear.

From his entrance at 0:15 in the concerto (track 1), where you hear Glemser
deliver those majestic chords of the main theme with a plush, Cliburnesque
tone, onto the meltingly touching statement of the alternate melody beginning
at 2:38, you quickly become aware of the pianist's keen sensitivity and 
broad range of color. And he plays the cadenzas with penetrating insight and
the illusion of ease amidst formidable pianistic hurdles. Try the latter part
of the big cadenza, for instance, beginning with the buildup at 14:43, where
Glemser starts with a feather-light touch and incredible fleetness, and 
swells the chords into impressive cascades of sound with utterly deft skill.
By comparison even the late Emil Gilels, in his EMI account with Maazel, 
doesn't quite play with that combination of ferocity and finesse here. 

Speaking of Gilels, his powerfully dramatic but less poetic performance of 
this concerto is of the once commonly-accepted Siloti edition, a rather 
mutilated version, which excises half the second movement. True, Tchaikovsky's 
grasp of structure in this work, as in some of his others, shows less than 
masterly skill. But this concerto, warts and all, hardly deserves the surgical
gutting offered by Alexander Siloti. Too bad Gilels didn't give us a complete
performance of this flawed masterpiece, because his abridged effort was 
spectacular, if a bit overheated. Glemser gives you the whole thing, rendered
with exquisite artistry from first note to last. 

He also gives you a sparkling account of the Concert Fantasy, a difficult 
and delightful, if less rewarding, work. The Polish National Radio Symphony
Orchestra and its underrated Conductor Antoni Wit turn in stellar performances
that feature splendid solo work by the first chairs in the violin and cello
sections in the concerto's songful second movement. Excellent sound and 
informative notes, too, but I can't let Ates Orga's reference to the
"composer's suicide" go by without comment. Tchaikovsky died of cholera. 
Some claim his contraction of the disease was deliberate, however, owing to
pressures related to his homosexuality in a homophobic Tsarist Russia. I 
won't delve into the details here, but I'll register my skepticism about
claims his death was by his own hand. 

In sum, this recording is highly recommended, especially at Naxos's budget
prices. 



TCHAIKOVSKY: Francesca da Rimini - Hamlet
Leopold Stokowsky conducts the Stadium Symphony Orchestra of New York
(DCC Compact Classics LPZ 1001)
Reviewed by Paul Remington

Just when you thought you've seen the last of vinyl LP releases, 
suddenly you bump into a pure virgin vinyl audiophile release of a 
classic recording. While the debate continues as to which format can
produce the best sound - CD or LP - there is no doubt audiophile 
vinyl pressings still have life in today's marketplace. DCC recognizes
this fact and is committed to satisfying both audiophile markets with 
essential releases of significant historical importance.

DCC's re-release of Tchaikovsky's Francesca da Rimini (Fantasia for 
orchestra), and Hamlet (Overture and Fantasy) is perhaps the highest 
quality vinyl release of this timeless work ever available. Although 
the original recording was made in 1958, DCC's pressing of these works
eliminates any concern for a lack of fidelity due to age or old 
technology. The recording is crisp, clear, and warm with good stereo 
span and a surprisingly low noise-floor. This performance is very
well preserved.

What enhances the flavor of this release is Stokowsky's interpretation
of these works, and their performance by the Stadium Symphony Orchestra
of New York (New York Philharmonic, conducted by Leonard Bernstein at 
the time). Stokowsky's attention to subtle detail and his sensitive use
of dynamics is masterfully conveyed. These densely orchestrated 
compositions are so well performed, it's easy to isolate a singular
thematic line from others performed simultaneously. Accuracy, detail,
and a sensitive approach defines Stokowsky's interpretation of these
works.

Francesca da Rimini was composed in 1876 during a period when Tchaikovsky
was contemplating marriage. During this period he also composed Swan Lake
and the first sketches of his Fourth symphony. The original intention 
for this work was to compose an opera. After working with librettist K.I.
Zvantsev, who dictated the opera should be presented in Wagnerian style,
Tchaikovsky scrapped the idea. Tchaikovsky was not fond of Wagnerian 
musical drama. Rather than discard what he had already written,
Tchaikovsky recycled the work into an orchestral fantasia. The subjects
of the fantasia are based on the subjects in Liszt's Dante symphony.

Hamlet was composed later in Tchaikovsky's life, in 1888. He was 
commissioned to compose the music of Hamlet for a charity production 
performed at St. Petersburg. Like the opera Francesca da Rimini, 
Tchaikovsky's work for this project was never completed. Rather, he
reworked his sketches into a full-scale orchestral score. In 1891, 
Tchaikovsky finally completed an incidental score for a theatrical
production of Hamlet. With little ambition or incentive, the completed
work was really a scaled-down version of the Fantasy overture, with 
sixteen added pieces extracted and reworked from other compositions
Tchaikovsky had already completed and released.

At times, the work is reminiscent of Berlioz' Symphony Fantastique, with
swirling lines carried by the string section, and bold and emotional
orchestration utilizing all aspects of the orchestra. His literary choice
to base these works is as classic as the works themselves. Tchaikovsky's
symphonic approach is flowing and lyrical. Truly a masterful performance.
DCC has re-released not only the highest quality pressing of this material,
but has also chosen, arguably, the best performance of these works 
available. DCC's vinyl pressing is an exquisite addition to any audiophile's
collection.



THEE PHANTOM CREEPS: Teenage Fingers (Armed & Fat)
Reviewed by DJ Johnson

Although the first track, "Sweet Corn," is some pretty good straight forward
rock and roll, worthy in and of itself of a good review, there's a whole 
nuther world down the road apiece.  It's stormy and dark there.  In much 
the same way that Blue Oyster Cult could play uptempo music and still creep
you out, Thee Phantom Creeps surf the fine edge between power and dread, 
leaving you grinning like an idiot, pogoing the night away while some asshole
in a hockey mask fuels up his chainsaw behind your shower curtain.  Go 
happily.  When the demonic chorus chants away at the end of "Marty Party,"
the hair should be standing up on the back of your neck.  The music is up,
the vibe is six feet under.

This is the band's first full length release, and it's right on the money.
The performances are tight without seeming calculated, the tunes are mean
and evil, and the sound is powerful as hell.  Richard King is a top flight
rock vocalist, and every so often he lets loose an amazing little blast of
harmonica that takes their already charged sound and energizes it all the
the more.  Besides the 12 studio tracks, they've included 4 live cuts which
offer proof that they can melt the walls just fine without studio trickery.

I'm including their e-mail address here so you can contact them and buy this
infreakingcredible album.  It's one of the hottest releases of the year.  Call 
it garage, call it punk, call it Amanda and make it wear skimpy little nurse
uniforms.  Doesn't matter.  As the lucky schmuck who used to get to have
sex with Christie Brinkley once said, "it's still rock and roll to me." (You
can reach Thee Phantom Creeps by sending e-mail to king@visicom.demon.co.uk)



CAL TJADER: Latin + Jazz (DCC Compact Classics)
Reviewed by DJ Johnson

In the up and down career of vibraphonist Cal Tjader, this is a definite up.
Originally released in 1968, it has been remastered by DCC's brilliant tech
dude, Steve Hoffman, and even without the benefits of the 24k gold format
that DCC is famous for, this standard CD sounds anything but standard.

The music is exactly what the title claims it it: Latin flavored jazz.  In
places, it's just a string section away from exotica. When Tjader concentrated
on this kind of music, the results were usually quite satisfying.  Armando
Perazza's conga playing elevated this music from decent mellow jazz to 
outstanding Latin jazz.  He made each tune come to life.  There are bossa
novas, waltzes and sambas among the 8 tracks, and all of them move.  

This is the third Cal Tjader release on DCC.  The first two, Solar Heat and
Cal Tjader Plugs In, aren't nearly as pleasing -- at least in my opinion.  
That opinion is based on my dislike for jazz covers of rock songs.  It always
feels like elevator music to me.  These discs contain such covers as "Lady
Madonna," "Ode To Billy Joe," "La Bamba" and "Never My Love," so I was 
immediately biased against them.  If you happen to like that sort of thing,
then let me tell you that the performances are flawless and the sound quality
is wonderful.  One man's elevator music is another man's heavy metal, right?
As for me, I'll just skip the other two and listen to Latin + Jazz three 
times in a row instead.



TYRSKY KITARAT: Uudet Tyrskykitaraklassikot (Ujo)
Reviewed by John Sekerka

It had to happen. After North America embraced the smooth instrumental
sounds of Laika & The Cosmonauts, you knew that there'd be a surf craze 
popping up in Finland. Surfmania baby! Grab yer woody and shoot the curl,
but remember your mittens. Dunno how they do it in this winterwonderland,
but these Fins manage to slip into SoCal mode quicker than you can say
Bombora! Seven swank duelling guitar shakers -- or make that kitarat 
shakers -- that'll have you sifting sand 'tween yer toes. And all originals
to boot. Crystal clear sound punctuated by snappy percussion like they used
to lay it down in '63 before the Beatles changed the face of rock'n'roll.
Key to any instro band is the lyrical nature of the sound, and this platter
sings, daddy-o. Get it while it's hot. [contact teerikai@hila.hut.fi, and 
while there, you might wanna inquire about Tero Eerikäinen's other band the
Joint Ventures.]



STEVE VAI: Fire Garden (Epic EK 67776)
Reviewed by Paul Remington

Don't tell Steve Vai enough's enough. Rock's premier guitarist doesn't know
the meaning of musical limitations and boundaries. Vai's most recent release,
Fire Garden, is a sonic explosion of mainstream rock ideas void of boundaries,
and presented in an uninhibited fashion. Recorded over the course of two and
a half years, Fire Garden was just one of many projects Vai multi-tasked, and
is, without a doubt, his most dense solo effort to date.

Originally titled Fire Coma, Fire Garden is loosely based on a self-written 
screenplay by Vai. The screenplay tells the story of an arrogant rock star,
Fire, whose life is threatened by his manager who aspires to collect on Fire's
100 million dollar life insurance policy. Fire is nearly drowned and falls 
into a deep coma. The music reflects events occurring both inside and outside
of Fire's coma.

Fire Garden begins with sirens that awake Fire from a deep sleep. He finds
the building he is in is engulfed in flames. As a wall of fire burrows its 
way through the innards of the building, Fire is sent running for his life,
trying desperately to escape the flames that threaten to consume him. The 
action is supplemented with a tense and driving rock groove. The piece 
concludes with a massive explosion and a long burn, the sound of which Vai
worked hours to achieve on guitar with one of his many electronic gadgets.

The action is described through Vai's music, and his keen feel for
orchestration provides a dense and thickly layered work that is difficult
to absorb in one listening. As Vai describes in the CD jewel case, "Being
as dense as it is, this CD may best be experienced by devouring it in
pieces, but those with a strong constitution may dare to consume it whole
as it is."
			    
The CD features 18 compositions, spanning more than 74 minutes. The first 
nine tracks are instrumental, with the last nine tracks featuring vocals. 
Rather than work with a vocalist to achieve the result he was after, Vai
took the lead by singing the vocals himself. Although he insists his vocals
couldn't have been possible without the work of Warren Barigan, Vai 
under-rates his vocal abilities. He has a firm understanding of what he 
want's to achieve from his vocal parts. This understanding results in a
performance sung with conviction and feeling.

Vai's screenplay was sold to Hollywood and is currently in production. Vai 
was originally offered the lead role playing Fire, but declined. "I'm not 
an accountable quantity for movie people," Vai explains.

Although Fire Garden took years to produce, and was slow coming into focus,
Vai took the time required to create the work he was after. In many respects,
the sheer quantity of musicianship and care in assembling each minute of 
music on the CD makes it an instant classic. You may not hear much of this
CD on your local radio station, but rest assured: this 20-bit digital work
is worth the purchase. Fire Garden is a sonic world straight from the musical
ear of Steve Vai. Complex and daring, listen at your own risk.



THE VANDALS: The Quickening (Nitro)
Reviewed by John Sekerka

One of California's original punksters, The Vandals continue to wreak havoc
wherever they'll have 'em. Ever the snide commentators, these aging hooligans
take a huge pot shot at Agent Orange (who sued The Offspring)  in 'Aging
Orange.' And that's just the start of it. Hot on the heels of their new 
found celebrity via a Vandals t-shirt featured prominently in an X-Files 
episode, the boys are flogging their wares. Can you say cashing in? Now 
that's punk! But that doesn't really matter, cuz The Vandals sell diddley.
Now they'll sell diddley and a half. What matters is that they keep on 
rockin' in the free world with great abandon, spirit and a hearty sense of
fun. And when was the last time you actually listened to a punk album 
allaway through? Sure it helps when it's this curt, but then nothing gets 
by these guys.



VARIOUS ARTISTS: The Event Horizon "Tau" (City Of Tribes Records)
Reviewed by coLeSLAw

City Of Tribes knows what its doing, or at least it would appear so. The
newest collection in the Event Horizon series is a collective free-for-all.
A world in which the bounds of creativity are not hindered by contractual
obligations or abstract legalities. The idea is for the label's artists to
create as they see fit, exchanging band members amongst themselves as
liberally as the dating system in a one horse town. It works quite well.
Although the same names recur throughout the nine tracks, each song has a
unique place for itself.

Featuring some personal favorites such as Kenneth Newby and Stephen Kent
(currently working with Steve Roach in Halcyon Days) as well as Candice
Pacheco (a tireless noise tweaker and prodigious visionary), there are some
heavy expectations to live up to. With few exceptions, it does its job.
Taking a basic ambient theme and then bringing to it the occasional lyrical
beauty of a voice can sometimes make music seem too "New Age," whereas this
collection successfully remains deep enough to keep you off the wine
spritzers (which we all know leads to lighter stuff!).

At times very reminiscent of Dead Can Dance, this album should sweep you
away with its beauty as well as its intensity.



VARIOUS ARTISTS: Into Topological Space
A Collection of Electronic & Organic Remixes (World Domination Records)
Reviewed by coLeSLAw

This two CD collection is rife with freaks galore, turning swarms of beats
and off-color tones into a frenetic display of mankind's innate urge to move. 
Featuring some impressive cuts from the likes of Globo, Lift Laboratories,
and Loop Guru, this seems to be one more CD release that DJ's would rather
have on vinyl. This problem is compounded by the fact that all 15 tracks are
'unreleased remixes,' a term which wax-weilders seldom like to see attached
to a CD format. The transformation of dance hall music into a format ready to
listen to in your home is shaky at best, and more often than not, fails to
succeed.

Hence, the second CD. To ease the transition and fill in the gap between the
purely electronic and the relatively organic sound, the second disc is 35 
minutes of Sky Cries Mary, Sky Cries Mary, Sky Cries Mary, and some unlisted
yet undoubtedly effective fourth track that could be anybody. The first SCM
track (a remix of their song "Every Iceberg is Afire" from the album This
Timeless Turning) has their unmistakable and undeniable groove, with a little 
extra treatment from Steve Hillage. The second track could only be danced to
by a die-hard clubbing heroin addict, and the third is a 26+ minute jam
recorded during their 'This Timeless Turning' sessions which feels like the
Doors jamming through to the future in a low budget dream sequence.

It is an odd collection. Each disc has its own personality which, from certain
perspectives, has similarities to the other while at once being purely their
own thing. All that aside, there are some great tracks here for either dance 
music fans, SCM fans, or some blending of the two.



VARIOUS ARTISTS: Kwanzaa Party (Rounder)
Reviewed by DJ Johnson

Just in time to celebrate!  Kwanzaa is an African-American holiday that 
begins on the day after Christmas and ends on New Years Day.  It is a 
celebration of African heritage and culture, and a celebration of people
of African decent.  There are many rituals and details that go along with
the celebration, and they are explained in the booklet of this wonderful
CD.  Acceptable music for the Kwanzaa holidays?  Any inspiring music played
or composed by black artists.  This CD is programmed in that spirit of 
musical diversity.  Calypso from the Caribbean ("Mary Ann," by Roaring 
Lion), soukous from Zaire ("Liza," by Kanda Bongo Man), Forro from Brazil
("Balanco da Canoa," by Toinho de Alagoas), and even American blues ("Same
Thing," by Johnny Copeland) and soul ("I'll Take You There," by The Staple
Singers) all come together to make this one of the most inspirational and
uplifting collections you could ever ask for.  The liner notes go farther
than just teaching the meaning of Kwanzaa: it even contains traditional
recipes for your Kwanzaa feast!  The notes on the performers and songs are
quite informative, as well.  Leave it to Rounder to make such an interesting
and educational package as this.  A full hour of cultural celebration for
people of all races to enjoy and learn from.



VARIOUS ARTISTS/THE OVERTURES: Native American Dance Collection 
(Marquee Music - DCC Compact Classics)
Reviewed by coLeSLAw

Such a strange concept for a boxed set is this 3 CD collection of dance
house tracks sporting samples from a variety of Native American songs and
chants. The blending of the modern sounds of keyboards and quick-editing
remixes with traditional sounds is not new. In fact, it is rapidly finding
a home with a growing base of listeners. Unfortunately, this collection
falls far too short of its lofty goal.

The first two CDs sound like a Native American take on what African Head
Charge has been doing for quite a while. But in this context, it works half
as well. Throw in some Enigma-esque beats and some made-for-TV keyboard
tones, and things begin to fall apart.

If there is any saving grace, it comes full-force with the third CD, entitled
"Native Chants & Dances", which is actually a direct reproduction of the
album "Sacred Spirit" by The Overtures. Here, the sound works fine. The beats
are there because they work rather than 'just because,' and the blending of
styles updates the traditional into something much more far-reaching than
it's origin while maintaining a sense of respect for the source. If this
style intrigues you, I would recommend finding this album alone, as it does
not belong with it's counterparts.

A sadly off-the-mark experiment or a marketing ploy gone awry? Who can say.
Fortunately I won't remember this collection long enough to muse over it.




VARIOUS ARTISTS: Urban Beat Reggae (Heartbeat)
Reviewed by DJ Johnson

Urban Beat Reggae is a cool comp of songs that made the Gavin Reggae Charts,
featuring 12 prime tracks and 3 alternate mix bonus tracks.  The CD kicks off
with "Short Temper (Rock Mix)," which was a number one single for Michael Rose.
(...or is it Mykal?  I wish he'd make up his mind!)  The former Black Uhuru
vocalist has three tracks on this disc, including "Rude Boys (Back In Town)"
and an alternate mix of "Short Temper."  It's a Jeep mix, which is designed
to give a solid punch in an open area with minimal reflective surfaces.
As much as I love Michaelykal Rose, my vote for best track goes to "Blackman
Time (Street Mix)" by Sister Carrol--and it's not just because the liner
notes claim the remix was inspired by Curtis Mayfield's "Superfly" vibe.
Honest!  Frankly...I don't hear it.  What I do hear is an important lyric,
a fluid groove, sublime background vocals and great production.  

Now, with The Meditations' "Choice Of Color," I can catch the Mayfield vibe.
Primarily because it's a Mayfield song.  I love what they've done with 
it--especially the great percussion work.  They really did justice to the
original.  Other highlights include "Cool And Humble" by Nardo Ranks, 
"Lift Your Head Up" by Everton Blender--who, by the way, is going to be a
major player on the reggae scene--and the alternate mix of Sister Carrol's
"Black Man Time."  Called the "crazy mix," it has some cool dub stuff 
happening that gives it a push toward the surreal.  There's also a cut by
the late great Garnett Silk ("Killing Me Softly"), which I'll mention out
of respect, but as for recommending the track...well...which floor does this
elevator stop on?

Last month, I bitched about Heartbeat Records' annoying practice of releasing
important music with useless liner notes.  The notes for Urban Beat Reggae
are very informative.  Whoever was in charge of the liners should get a 
raise and a promotion.  Thanks, Heartbeat, from those of us who like to know
a little bit about what we're hearing.  



VARIOUS ARTISTS: Wipeout XL (Astralwerks)
Reviewed by Keith Gillard

Well, we all knew it was coming - or at least the hip people did.  The video 
game phenomenon has been spilling out from beyond the confines of your 
console.  We've already seen Pac Man pajamas, Mario lunchkits, and the
Sonic the Hedgehog cartoon show.  Now, with several noted artists making
music for video games, this video game music is standing on its own.

Recent releases of discs of material written exclusively for a video game
have met with limited success - mainly because these discs are only marketed
as addendums to the game itself, and not an stand-alone products.  Good work
has come from such people as Information Society's Kurt Harland and
unfortunately sold only to die-hard fans.

"Wipeout XL" is going to change all of that.  This disc is being marketed 
on its own, and I would not be surprised if it outsold by several times the
game it represents.  Unfortunately, the pieces here have been chosen from
already-existing works by famous artists, and were not written exclusively
for the game itself.

But what artists!  Any time you have a compilation with the likes of
Underworld, Orbital, The Chemical Brothers, Future Sound of London, Prodigy,
Leftfield, Fluke and Photek, you have a hit on your hands.  And what better
label to produce and promote it - Astralwerks is still batting 1000 - and 
this disc is no exception.

Granted, it has its high and low points...

Future Sound of London contributed two different versions of "We Have
Explosive," both of which are available on Dead Cities.  It's disappointing 
that they didn't release at least a new or different version here.

The first of two Fluke tracks, "Atom Bomb," could have been half its 
eight-minute length and improved from the edit.  Cool groove, but not much
else.  Their second track, "V Six," however, has a fantastic drum feel, and
it evolves.  Great sounds, and the percussion manages to continually build
without starting too sparse or getting too busy.

Two Chemical Brothers on the disc as well, both of which have been released
before.  "Loops of Fury" is the first of the two, and though it is very 
groovy, it never quite lives up to its title.  In fact, their second track
on "Wipeout XL" is far more deserving of such praise.  "Leave Home" has been
remixed by Underworld here, and it kicks.  The breakbeat sounds so live,
complete with room ambiance, and the analogue arpeggiations towards the end
take it one step beyond, particularly with the occasional random note.

Underworld all on their own contributed "Tin There," which starts as a 
trance piece.  The arpeggiated, slowly-evolving synth line begins to lift
the piece gradually until it explodes at about the two minute mark, becoming
more and more aggressive. 

Photek also contributes two tracks.  With their first, "The Third Sequence,"
"Wipeout XL" takes a decidedly drum'n'bass / breakbeat slant.  This track
is very cool, but is liable to induce paranoia.  It would likely have the
same effect on a party as playing Joy Division's "Atrocity Exhibition"... 
Their second track, "Titan," sounds like a breakbeat remix of something off
of Future Sound of London's "Lifeforms" album.  Very cool.

The remix of "Firestarter" from Prodigy is fantastic too.  The Prodigy did
commercialize the breakbeat, and you still will be hard-pressed to find
someone better at it.  Just the right balance of fragmentation and flow, and
the Art Of Noise samples come off more as a tip of the hat than disrespectful
sound banditry.

"Wipeout XL" also contains music from two bands I've not heard before:  Daft
Punk contributes "Musique," a lame repetitive house piece, where most of the
mix is run through a resonant filter - another one which should not have 
been over six minutes in length.  The second of the two new bands, Source 
Direct, perform "2097," another paranoid breakbeat excursion, very much in 
keeping with the mood of Photek's "The Third Sequence."

Unfortunately, due to the extreme length of the CD (over 78 minutes), it
does not play correctly on all CD players.  On my unit, the last three 
tracks skip incessantly.  However, I have tried it out on other units, and
it works on some.  This means that some of you who get the disc may not be
able to enjoy the Orbital and Leftfield tracks which conclude the disc.  
This would be a shame, as both are excellent tracks.  Orbital's "Petrol" is
a spooky ride through an electro-acoustic soundscape, and as usual, defies 
categorization.  Leftfield's "Afro Ride" is a cool electro journey with
interesting vocal samples.  It's nice to finish the disc without the
breakbeat which so heavily dominated two-thirds of the album.

The packaging for "Wipeout XL" is fantastic, and it might be almost worth
getting the disc even if you have all the material on it just to have the
cool insert.  A lot of information is expressed in British-style jargon, 
interspersed with large English and Japanese icons, and English words 
written with numbers instead of letters.  You can read it all if you try,
but, just like reading "Wired" magazine, getting there is half the fun.

Overall, a great package. The music represented on this disc, as video games
once did, is becoming cultural mainstream instead of underground movement. 
Let's hope that the mainstream doesn't completely absorb and mediocritize 
them, as it has so many cool movements before.

Songwriting: 7/10
Production:	9/10
Performance: 8/10
Overall: 8/10



THE WHO: Live at the Isle of Wight Festival 1970 (Columbia/Legacy)
Reviewed by Steve Marshall

Who fans have a lot to be happy about these days. The group's entire catalog
on compact disc is being upgraded. The three remaining members of the band
are in the midst of a US tour performing Quadrophenia. Now the band's legendary
1970 performance at the Isle of Wight festival is available commercially for 
the first time on compact disc. Recorded approximately six months after the
famous Leeds concert, this is one of the first three titles in a new series
from Legacy entitled Live From the Vaults. 

Eagerly anticipated by collectors, the new double-CD contains almost two full 
hours of previously unreleased music--including the only live version of Tommy 
by the original band. The Who had been performing Tommy for quite some time 
before this show. This particular performance was the culmination of months of 
touring for the band. In addition to several Who classics and the majority of 
Tommy, the Isle of Wight show saw the debut of 'new' songs like "Water" and  
"Naked Eye."

The 20-page booklet contains photos from the concert, plus liner notes by 
Michael Heatley and Ted Tuksa. Comparisons will no doubt be made between this 
and the band's classic Live at Leeds--once called "the greatest live album of 
all time." In terms of sound quality, it's quite good--just a notch below the 
new Leeds CD. Performance wise, it's excellent--possibly even better than
Leeds. The band was definitely on for this one. This CD is essential for all
Who fans. 



WILD MANGO: Oba (Marquee Music - Distributed by DCC)
Reviewed by Shaun Dale

Seven women producing Cuban-Brasilian-Middle Eastern-Jazz fusion music
from the San Francisco Bay Area.

Hmmm...

What can I say, it works.

Combining bass, drums, sax, flute, a variety of percussion and guitars
with English, Spanish, French and Portugese lyrics to songs styled in a
variety of international modes may make Wild Mango the ultimate world
music band in a sense.  The sound, though, is highly accessible and
eminently danceable, with a healthy dose of funk.

There's also a healthy sense of humor here, which is something which
seems to become more rare and consequently more valuable in music all
the time. Check out "MIA" (for Miami International Airport), "Hay Fever
Blooz" and the adventurous arrangement of the Bacharach/David staple
"The Look of Love."

"What on earth is this oba thing?" they ask in the track titled "Oba".
I'm not sure, but it has lots of rhythm and sounds like lots of fun.
Looking for a party album to satisfy your jazz, funk, Latin and exotica
music fan friends without changing the disc?  I think you've found it!


Track list:

Tempestad * MIA * Dreams of Florence * Look of Love * Zun Zun * Samba de
Morfeo * Foi Assim * Hay Fever Blooz * Mango Jam * Oba



FRANK ZAPPA: Frank Zappa Plays the Music of Frank Zappa - A Memorial Tribute
(UMRK 02)
Reviewed by Paul Remington

Nineteen-ninety-six has been a good year for Frank Zappa fans. Thanks to
Ryko and Frank Zappa, we now have two long-awaited Zappa releases, compiled
by Zappa himself prior to his death: The Lost Episodes, and Leather. One of
the most prominent questions in the mind of many Zappa fans has been, what 
should we expect from the Zappa family when all of Zappa's final projects
are released? Ryko holds rights to Zappa's catalog, but not his vault. The
vault and Zappa's studio, the Utility Muffin Research Kitchen - a 
state-of-the-art electronic womb - have been willed to Frank's son, Dweezil
Zappa, leader of the rock group Z. Frank Zappa Plays the Music of Frank 
Zappa finally gives us a glimpse of what we might expect from future releases
based on material excavated from Zappa's massive vault.

A mixture of previously released and alternate live tracks, Dweezil Zappa
has produced a touching tribute to his father featuring the three works 
Zappa considered the be his "signature" guitar pieces: "Black Napkins," 
"Watermelon in Easter Hay," and "Zoot Allures." Two versions of each piece are 
included on the CD. The first is one of the earliest versions Dweezil was 
able to surface from Zappa's vault, while the second version is the original,
previously released rendition included for comparison. This approach proves
to be very interesting, as you can hear how each piece developed over time.
For example, in the early version of "Watermelon in Easter Hay," you can 
hear Zappa had not yet fully developed the melody line as it appears on Joe's
Garage.

While many complain the disk is too expensive, not long enough, and contains
three previously released tracks, there is no arguing that these works are
priceless Zappa, exuding the essence of his musical character.

Currently, the limited edition single CD is only available through Barfko 
Swill, Zappa's home-grown merchandising company. At $29.95, it ranks as one 
of the most expensive single-CD releases of the year. 

The disk sports a high-quality, tri-fold package with a textured black 
finish. The title appears in gold with a fluffy, furry Zappa mustache and
Imperial directly below the title. The Zappa mustache affixed to the front
cover is designed for removal. The mustache can be worn by your children,
your spouse, the family dog, whomever would like to have that original Zappa
look. Opening the tri-fold reveals a nicely matted black and white photograph
of Zappa on the outer side of the right fold, with a booklet supplied in the
pocket of the left fold. The packaging is exquisite, and reminiscent of the 
uniquely packaged Civilization Phaze III release (UMRK 01), which earned
both Zappa and his wife Gail a Grammy in 1995 for Best Recording Package -
Boxed. The CD booklet is written by Dweezil, and walks us through the history
of each piece. Dweezil also adds his own personal comments and memories of
his father.

Also featured on the CD is a superb blues piece recorded live in Paris in 
1974. Titled "Merely a Blues in A," Zappa solos around a simple blues 
progression, utilizing a style borrowed from traditional blues soloing. 
Zappa's guitar playing has been featured and revered many times in the past,
and what makes this piece such a gem is the way it's executed. Zappa's 
soloing is chameleon-like, maturely utilizing all the color and balance of 
a blues piece.

Zappa's vault holds thousands of hours of treasures - over 20 years of 
concert and studio material. Between 1972 and 1984, Zappa toured heavily.
While not touring, Zappa continued working on other projects, completing
albums in production, and spending time with his family. One thing that 
could easily be said of Zappa: he worked constantly. As a result of the 
large quantity of material in his vault, Zappa invested an enormous amount
of time during his final years documenting and cataloging its contents.
Frank Zappa Plays the Music of Frank Zappa is a superb addition to the Zappa
catalog, and a beautiful tribute from a son to his father.


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COSMIK QUICKIES!  Reviews for people that didn't have fancy shmancy HTML
or album cover photographs when THEY were kids!  People who had to walk
twenty miles in the snow to read a review before being kicked in the ribs
by angry store clerks who screamed "This ain't a freakin library, you bum!"
THAT'S who Cosmik Quickies are for!



BECK: Symphonies (Sinfonias): in B Flat Major; in D Major; in G Major; in D
Major, Op. 10, No. 2; in E Major, Op. 13, No. 1. Northern Chamber Orchestra 
conducted by Nicholas Ward. NAXOS 8.553790 [DDD] 58:46
Reviewed by Robert Cummings

Franz Ignaz Beck (1734-1809) made a significant contribution to the genre of
the symphony in the 1750s and 1760s. He is vastly overshadowed by his
contemporary, Haydn, of course. But that circumstance shouldn't betoken 
dismissal of him as an also-ran.  He has a freshness and personal stamp to
his music that demand attention in this era of discovery and re-discovery.
The Northern Chamber Orchestra, under the knowing hand of Nicholas Ward,
perform admirably in these works. If your tastes favor Haydn and Mozart, 
or if you're simply curious about the evolution of the symphony in the 
classical era, you might want to sample this splendidly recorded release.




BEETHOVEN: Concertos for Piano and Orchestra: No. 1 in C, Op. 15; No. 2 in
B-Flat, Op. 19. Jos van Immerseel, Pianoforte (Hammerflugel); Tafelmusik, 
conducted by Bruno Weil. SONY SK 68250 [DDD] 61:47
Reviewed by Robert Cummings

This recording documents scintillating performances on original instruments
in superb sound and processing of these two early Beethoven concertos (No.
2 actually predates No. 1). Immerseel renders the music skillfully, with 
artistry on the level of Murray Perahia in his Beethoven cycle (also on 
Sony). Weil gets clean, lively playing from this talented chamber orchestra.
Your decision to purchase, however, may hinge on the degree of your taste
for the original instruments craze: the pianoforte here sounds almost as 
much like a harpsichord as a piano, though the orchestral sonorities are
quite typical of this genre. Cadenzas are the pianist's own. Recommended to
adventurous original-instruments aficionados.



THE BRIAN JONESTOWN MASSACRE: Their Satanic Majesties' Second Request
(Tangible)
Reviewed by John Sekerka

The Brian Jonestown Massacre may be The Rutles of the nineties. In true 
hippie dippy flower power fashion they construct a magnum opus that 
encompasses the late sixties Rolling Stones craziness. And that, my friends,
is a lot of room to cover. Sitars, congas, tamboras, farfisa, flutes, french
horns, harmoniums, glockenspiels, maraccas, tablas, melotrons... and that 
ain't half of it. All original, but sounding time warped big time, The 
Massacre make groovy shit that could easily get lost in yer folks' vinyl 
collection.




DIRTY THREE: Horse Stories (Touch & Go)
Reviewed by John Sekerka

Crazy instrumental improvisation passionate rawk from down under. But then
again you already knew that, right? Just in case you missed the boat last
time around, here are Dirty Three with another stellar performance captured 
on record. Violin, drums and guitar is really all it takes to make sumptuous
steamy soundtracks and explosive temple-throbbers. Dirty Three work both 
sides of the coin as they like to start slow and rev up to make yer blood 
boil. Do not miss 'em a second time around.



THE DUMMIES: The Dummies (Get Hip)
Reviewed by DJ Johnson

This may be a one-trick pony, but the son of a bitch can gallop!  The Dummies
play fast paced garage punk that doesn't necessarily stick with you for long
periods of time, but while you've got the speakers cranked, it does its job:
your blood pressure rises, your head wants to go bang go bang go bang, and
you develop an nasty attitude about everything around you.  Since The Ramones
are no longer a factor, we need a few bands like this to keep us rebellious.
(Get Hip: PO Box 666, Canonsburg, PA 15317)



GUARANTEED UGLY: Fire Escape/Soup Kitchen (Hangmen's Daughter/Damaged Goods)
Reviewed by The Platterpuss

Both songs are crude and raw garage punk that sound as if Billy Childish
must've been involved somewhere along the line. If you're a fan of his or 
of some of the more low-fi type garage bands such as The Rip-Offs or the 
Statics, you'll definitely like this. (PO Box 671, London E17 6NF, UK)



THE HEARTBEATS: Two Down, Four To Go  (Twang!)
Reviewed by The Platterpuss

God, I love this disc! Whatcha got here are 13 bouncy pop tunes that sound 
as if the band listened to nothing but "Beatles 65" and  The Hollies' "Beat
Group" albums for a month straight before going into the studio. Songs like
"Don't Look Back," "I Won't Be There," "You Can't Come Back" and "In This 
Town" all sound like hits from some parallel 1965 universe. Sure, some folks
would call it retro, but I could care less because to me, this kind of music
is timeless. I wish they had another 10 CDs out that sounded just like this
and that they'd come to New York and play some live shows. What more can I
say except WOW! (PO Box 41 03 11, 12113 Berlin, GERMANY)



THE JET BOYS/THE REMAINS: Split 56  (Hurtin')
Reviewed by The Platterpuss

These are the French and not the Japanese Jet Boys and their cut "Sooner Or
Later" is some cool Stonesy R&R. Having a girl as one of their singers adds 
a nice, unexpected texture. The Remains (The 90's Japanese as opposed to the
60's U.S.) kick in with a nifty Heartbreakers styled punker "All I Want" 
that I like even more. A nice sampler from 2 great bands that both deserve
some wider exposure. (1-10-16 Shirasagi, Nakano-ku, Tokyo, JAPAN)



THE NEW DIMENSIONS: The Best Of (Sundazed)
Reviewed by John Sekerka

Holy cowabunga! Another long lost surfin' discovery unearthed by the diggin'
staff at Sundazed. This time I thought they'd gone too far though. I mean 
The New Dimensions were kids - literally ranging from 13 to 15 years. 
Expecting a trivial, amateurish, childish take on surf, I reluctantly 
slapped this sucker on. And man oh man, was I surprised! These boys had it
all - except for the shaving stubble that is. Excellent guitar work, snazzy
sax and superb piano/organ accompaniment. And the boys could write, too, as
evidenced by 20 solid originals among this 22 track comp. Revolving around
the talents of Jimmy Greenspoon and Michael Lloyd, The new Dimensions
recorded three full length albums in the early sixties before The Beatles
invaded and surf music ran dry. Oddly enough Lloyd went on to work in the
very lucrative sugar pop world with The Osmonds, Shaun Cassidy and Belinda 
Carlisle, while Greenspoon founded Three Dog Night. Don't let that scare you
off from their surf sounds though, cuz they are formidable indeed. Kids +
guitars + energy = rock! A simple equation that is best realized on the
closing two live tracks - girls screaming and all.



RAILROAD JERK: The Third Rail (Mammoth)
Reviewed by John Sekerka

Thumpa thumpa thumpa, Railroad Jerk enter with a big meaty beat. Yeah the
big beat; somethin' we ain't heard in these here parts for quite a spell.
This cool baker's dozen collection hangs precariously to the beat, 
smothering it, clawing at it, strangling it, suffocating it, doing anything
to keep up. Guitars jangle, bass trembles, the singer wails forlorn angst 
(with no whining thank you very much), but all factors feed off the monster
beat. Wait, that sounds wrong. The beat you see, is not overpowering, nor
pompous, nor head pounding, it is just the thread weaving throughout. 
Sometimes it's made with a regular kit, sometimes it's made with kitchen 
utensils, but it's always wonderful. Railroad Jerk play subversive bluesy 
smart-assed psychedelic folk rock like the Soft Boys used to, and you gotta
luv 'em for that. Railroad Jerk, I repeat Railroad Jerk. You've seen the 
name, now hear the record. Essential listening; I don't kid.




SEX BOMBA: Viva (Sonic)
Reviewed by The Platterpuss

After an evening of listening to way too many forgettable alternacrap and 
Green Day wannabe bands, this comes as a welcome change indeed. Although all
the songs on here are sung in Polish, there's a rawness and vitality that, 
combined with lots of catchy hooks, make these 12 songs something special.
Everything I used to (still do, actually) love about bands like The Clash
and Stiff Little Fingers makes this one of my favorite Punk albums of the
year. I don't know if it's available anywhere here in the U.S. but, if this
sounds like the type of thing you like, it couldn't hurt to drop the record
label a line and see what can be arranged. (PO Box 3, 05-120 Legionowo 1,
POLAND)



THE SQUARES: In Squarification (Get Hip)
Reviewed by DJ Johnson

Thirteen cool tracks from the French garage rockers that sound ever so 
middle American.  Pure, raw and honest, The Squares take a couple chords
and make them stick, in rockers like "Can't Stand it" and "Believe," and
authentic little R&B numbers like "Goin' Home."  The most powerful track
is the dark and sultry "I Wanna Know," a song that proves toughness isn't
necessarily about tempo.  The title track is a funny little novelty tune,
but the rest are all serious crank-n-fly garage rawkers.  Not for fans of
slick production.



THEE HEADCOATS: Thief / Automatic Love - 7" (360 Twist)
Reviewed by DJ Johnson

Billy and the boys are back with two sides of lo-fi garage featuring a vocal
track that sounds like it's coming through a bullhorn and a great harmonica
sound that holds "Thief" together nicely.  "Automatic Love" is cut from the
same cloth, though the vocals are much less distorted and there is actually
a hook of sorts in the chorus.  The harp is wailing a bit farther back in
the mix on this track, but it's still there if you listen real hard.  The
star of "Automatic Love" is Childish's cool haphazard rhythm guitar playing,
which is rendered even sloppier by running it through a tremolo effect.  
Gloriously dark and primal. (360 Twist Records: PO Box 9367, Denver, CO 
80209, USA. Call 303-715-1858.)



VARIOUS ARTISTS: Jabberjaw - Pure Sweet Hell (Mammoth)
Reviewed by John Sekerka

Second recorded installment of L.A. club benefit is a noisy, sweaty, snappy
rock by the cream of the curdled alterno crowd, mangling electronic equipment
real time. Best bits are covers, of course. Brainiac (know 'em) zap Tones on 
Tails' super catchy 'Go,' twisting pure goth pop into a hairy, hurried mess.
Low (don't know 'em) let it bleed on the BeeGee's (I kid thee not) monumental
sixties tripper 'I Started a Joke,' and manage to wring forth an emotive
force that'll surely make the hair on bros Barry Rob & Mo's collective backs
stand up in spine-tingling salute. Also on hand: Redd Kross, the Bomboras
and the Coctails - who, despite calling it quits seem to be hanging around 
an awful lot.



WESLEY WILLIS: Fabian Road Warrior (American)
Reviewed by John Sekerka

There was a time if you wanted a Wesley Willis record you had to roam the
streets of Chicago and hope to bump into this giant of a man, at which time
you had no option but to purchase one of his numerous releases and perhaps
a drawing. Now his gap-toothed mug can be seen in record chains alongside
Celine, Alanis and Kenny G. Gee whiz, what a wacky world this is. And 
Wesley's at the head of the class. If you know Wesley, you know this record:
a cramped collection of simple songs with a monotonous melody and lyrics
that are repeated more often than not. Wesley usually writes/sings (?) about
a band/performer whom he is digging. It's a fill in the blank type deal: 
substitute your band here. Past odes include Nirvana and Superchunk. Hey
even Alanis gets her own song here. The prolific Willis is preparing another
album for release as you read this. God help you if you are a Wesley Willis
completist, for he has at least thirty albums under his hat - and he's just
getting started.




STEVE WYNN: Melting In The Dark (Zero Hour)
Reviewed by John Sekerka

A mid-life rock star crisis?. Perhaps, though Steve Wynn's hardly a rock 
star -- should be, but ain't. After seminal punky twang group Dream Syndicate,
several solo ventures, stacks of critical raves, and disappointing record
sales, Steve Wynn returns with a killer rock album. It almost sounds like
the old days when Karl Percoda would torture his guitar with nasty licks 
while the band kicked into Velvet Underground mode, and Wynn tried valiantly
to chisel some pop songs with a desperate vocal. And some of that spark is
back. Not that Wynn's recent records are not without merit; they just don't
rock out. Melting in the Dark blurs that fine line between pop structure 
and rock mayhem. It's a dandy, and as all it's predecessors, destined for a 
delete bin near you.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

BETWEEN ZERO & ONE
By Steven Leith

PLAYING THE PERCENTAGES
 
What is a political system called when less than 25% of the citizens chose
the government?  It is not Oligarchy, Dictatorship nor Democracy.  Yes, you
guessed it.  It is US politics as usual.

In spite of or perhaps because of the largest campaign expenditures ever,
voter apathy remains high.  I'll let others debate the why of this trend.
For me it is merely good enough to know that with a little effort and lots
of money, anybody can high-jack US government to serve their own ends.  
Wow, what a wonderful country!  Think of the opportunities.

Now you may think that because it takes a majority of the vote to win any
election that means majority rule.  Oh Contraire, since less than 50% of
the population vote then 51% of that small number means less than 25% of 
the citizenry calling the shots.  So the point is you don't have to buy 
every vote, just the right ones.

Of course I am being generous here.  Far fewer people actually vote than the
numbers might indicate since most of them are brain dead when they go into 
the booth anyway.  How may judges have you voted for because you really knew
who they were?  Sure you may think you are well informed on major issues, 
but be honest.  Haven't you ever voted just because you liked the name or it
sounded familiar?

No, even the people who stagger to the polls aren't driving the bus.  The 
ones who really decide are those who push the tide back and forth a few
percentage points.

In my home state a reactionary congresswoman retained her seat by a mere 800 
votes.  That was hardly even a percentage point difference.  She only needed 
49.6% to win.  She won big considering she only needed one more vote than
her opponent.

In the big picture its the little numbers that really count.  So I have a 
plan.  I think we should encourage people to stay away from the voting 
booths.  It shouldn't be too hard to do that, then you and I can run for
office and vote each other in with a landslide of 3 or 4 votes.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

PHIL'S GARAGE: XmessTide
By Phil Dirt

I'm one of those guys that gets all miserable around the holidaze cuz I never
get what I want, and I have to do the hang with all those annoying and boring
schmuck relatives I would never see by choice. So, rather than drown in my 
self pity, I thought Id offer a non-poem of holiday recognition...

Twas the nite before Xmess, and all through the studio
Not a reverb was springing, not even a digital

The amps were all off, and the mics put away
The tape all in cases, awaiting a new day

Suddenly from the alley there came a major thud
Like the sound of somebody dropping a glove

So loud was this noise as to crash the outboard
And awaken the engineer sprawled over the board

He went to the window to see what was up
And scarfed an eyeload of a red-sweatered pup

Going to the door, he let in the bulbous mongrel knave
Discovering quickly the last time doggie doo had bathed

A tub of water and plate of grub later
puppy gloom was transformed into canine cheer

Gratitudinal waves crashed over young pup savage
So he rewarded his savior with lavish giftage

Searching for a name for his new found friend
Soundguy looked for characteristics to lend a label

He first spied doggies coat the color of the beach
Then scoped in on young pups pet-i-cured nails

Unable to speak his actual name in a language clear
Pup became ever after known as Sandy Claws

And so it is that the legend was born
Puppy pudge became elfant bulge
And species morphed to humanic form
But still children dream of Santa Claus


----------------------------------------------------------------------------

STUFF I NOTICED: Hooey For Hollywood
By DJ Johnson


Jack: Now, Jackie, remember to wave and look pretty.

Jackie: Oh, Jack, do you think there is still hope for two romantic fools
        like you and me? (Jackie waves to the crowd on the left side of the
		street.)

Jack: I know I've been a horny unfaithful dog, but for some reason, I think
      I'm ready to change now, darling. (Jack waves to folks on the right.)

Jackie: And for some unexplainable reason, I'm ready to forgive you!  And 
        when we get back to the White...uh...say, isn't that Lyndon behind
		that fence on that grassy knoll?

Jack: Wha... NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!	(Shots ring out.  Fade to black.)


Ladies and gentlemen, this is what I'm afraid could happen if CBS ever does
"Jack & Jackie: The Miniseries."  After watching bits and pieces of their
Titanic flick, I'm convinced that CBS really DOES stand for "See BS."  Though
I'm not the rabid Titanic buff that I once was, most of the facts involving
that grand ship remain in the dark and dusty databanks of my brain.  So it 
was with an unsettling combination of amusement and bitter disgust that I
watched as they paraded inaccuracy after inaccuracy across the small screen
for all to see.  Some of the artistic license was understandable.  For example:
having the engine room below the waterline so the water could fall dramatically
on top of the panicked crewmen.  It's definitely more intense than watching
the water slowly rise from below.  But most of the embellishments were 
absurd and pointless!  I don't mind them showing Captain Smith steering the
ship, even though that wasn't in his job description, but to even suggest 
that this proper British sea captain would allow a passenger to steer the
ship, even for one second, is ludicrous!  I could trot out my laundry list
of inaccuracies, but to save time I'll just tell you there were many.  By
many, of course, I mean many MANY.  The biggest bitch is that CBS took a 
story that has so many dramatic mini-stories within it, tossed those aside,
and based the bulk of the film on bullshit stories about characters that
never existed.  

It's not limited to television networks, by any means.  Hollywood's silver
screen hacks are the biggest offenders of all.  I could write a BOOK about
Brian DePalma's pursuit and destruction of truth.  Folks, Frank Nitti did
not fall off a building while trying to kill Elliot Ness.  The man died of
cancer in prison in the 50's.  Wisely moving away from DePalma before I
get hysterical, I point out that The Buddy Holly Story was a fine film that
included maybe a dozen truths and a zillion fluffy little "stories" that
sounded good to the producers and screen writers at the time.  As I 
recall -- and I could be wrong about this -- Paul McCartney bought all of
Buddy's publishing, financed the movie to generate new interest, and then
put out an hour long documentary nearly a decade later in which he smiled
at the camera and said The Buddy Holly Story was fun and all, but it wasn't
the truth, folks.  Or words to that effect.  It's two (click) two (click)
TWO advertising opportunities in one!  Nobody ever accused Paul of being
naive in the ways of PR.

Since truth is a throwaway, I'd like to suggest a few potential moneymaking
films for the upcoming bullshit season.  

THE LANDSLIDES OF NOVEMBER: The story of the 1996 Presidential elections in
America.  Bill Clinton (George Clooney) pays G. Gordon Liddy (Shaq O'Neill)
big bucks to bury all evidence that he personally shot down TWA flight 800,
thereby	guaranteeing his lopsided victory over Bob Dole (Dabney Coleman).
Featuring the Olson twins as Chelsea, and Benji as Socks The Cat.  Phil
Donohue has a very brief and inconsequential cameo as Jack Kemp.

MA BARKER - THE REAL STORY THIS TIME: Legendary gang leader Ma Barker (Farrah
Fawcett) is actually a sweet innocent old lady set up for extinction by evil
FBI man Melvin Purvis (Dabney Coleman).  The Olson twins appear as her 
dimwitted but sharpshooting sons, Dweezil and Tweedledee.  If you have a 
sharp eye, you may catch a glimpse of Gary Coleman in drag as J. Edgar Hoover.

THE O.J. SIMPSON STORY: O.J. Simpson (Dabney Coleman) gets away with murder
despite the best efforts of DA's Chris Darden (Shaq O'Neill) and Marcia
Clark (Jacqueline Smith, who also plays Nicole Brown Simpson).  Pat Morita
turns in a fine performance as Judge Ito, but Farrah Fawcett is just barely
believable as Kato Kalin.  In this version of the story, a dramatic last 
minute ploy by Johnnie Cochrane (Spike Lee) tricks Judge Ito into confessing
to the murders.

MA BARKER - NO, REALLY, THIS IS WHAT HAPPENED: Legendary gang leader Ma Barker
(Kathy Lee Gifford) is a vicious prize fighter in pre-war Pawtucket when evil
government thug J. Edgar Hoover (Delta Burke) accuses her of bank robbery.
It all adds up to machine gun fun as Ma and her boys (played by Timothy
McVeigh and Danny Bonaduce) cut a path through the rural south.  It
all comes to a sudden end when Ma and the boys board the Titanic after finding
a time machine with the keys left in it.  Valerie Bertinelli appears as 
herself for no apparent reason.

Now, every single one of these ideas sounds ludicrous, am I correct?  Yes,
I'm quite sure that I am.  Here's the scary part.  Are you sitting down?
Well then sit down and tell me when you're ready.  Ready?  Okay, here's the
scary part: the people with the Neilson Ratings boxes will WATCH THESE MOVIES!
What is the requirement for becoming a Neilson family?  Do they go through
report cards to make sure your kids are dolts?  Do they do eye tests to see
if your pupils are fixed and dilated?  If the ratings charts are correct,
we can only assume that you would have to score just above amoeba on an
IQ test before they'd give you one of those boxes.  These are the people
responsible for the tidal wave of infomercials!  They must be stopped.  

The first step is identification.  When you meet someone, casually ask if
theirs is a Neilson family.  If they roll their eyes and stomp twice, that
means "yes."  Quickly subdue and tag them, then release them back into the
wild.  It's only through research that we can hope to better understand these
simple beasts. 

Next, let's petition TV GUIDE to change their rating system from numbers
of stars to various sized cow pies.  CBS's Titanic flick, for example, would
be listed with a very big pile of shit next to it.  While this isn't the most
cosmetically pleasing way to go, at least it's honest.  Honesty being the
missing ingredient in Hollyweird, this is probably the best place to start.
Meanwhile, let's all sit back and enjoy Michael J. Fox's compelling portrayal
of George Stephanopolis in "I Was A Teenage Hit Man For The Manson Family
Just Around The Time Of Ma Barker's Death Resulting From Sharing Needles 
With Jimi Hendrix At Berkeley."  Now that's entertainment!

============================================================================
                                   -
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                      ]]]]]  ]]]]]]  ]]]]  ]]     ]]]]]
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         +            ]]]]     ]]    ]]]]  ]]     ]]   ]     |
                      ]]       ]]    ]]    ]]     ]]  ]]      !
    :                 ""      """"   """"  """""  """""     +        . 

             Random stuff for your entertainment.  Happy scrolling!

PAGAN BABIES


Every Christmas Eve my sister and I would pretend
Santa Claus was real
we would stay up watching the stars
waiting for the soft streak of light that would signal
the approach of his reindeer

our mother would laugh and tell us we were wasting our time
there is no such thing and don't believe what other kids say
because their parents are just lying to them

we knew better but we watched until exhaustion overcame us
and we awoke the next morning at the first rush of a hot Brownsville sun

we would run downstairs in the big house on Adams street
to the drying tree our brothers had gotten for free from the local HEB
the night before
and look under the tree for all the things the hope of Santa clause promised

and every year the same emptiness awaited us
while my mother began to cook a pot of beans for our Christmas feast
and every year as our neighbor's children rode outside with shiny new bikes
and remote control cars and toy guns that looked real
our mother would tell us how lucky we were
because of all the pagan babies in the world who grow up without Christmas

and every year, for at least one day, my sister and I wished we were pagan
babies

Copyright (c) David E. Cowen 1995
All Right Reserved
Ripford@aol.com




The chief problem about death, incidentally, is the fear that there may be
no afterlife-a depressing thought, particularly for those who have bothered
to shave. Also, there is the fear that there is an afterlife but no one will
know where it's being held.
(Woody Allen)




DOWN BY LAW at RKCNDY(Seattle)
Concert Review by Shaun Dale

My 14 year old step-daughter thought it was ok for me to go to Seattle's
premier all ages rock venue, but warned me that I'd be the oldest person
in the room.  The 19 year old receptionist at my day job suggested I dye
my hair platinum blond to fit in.
I was clearly eligible to parent any of the folks I lined up with to get in.

But I was down for the show, 'cause I'm down with Down By Law.  Seattle
was the next to last stop on a west coast swing preceding their first
trip to Japan, and I wanted to hear the new songs from "All Scratched
Up" live.

And hear them I did.  The new album dominated the set, which kicked off
with "Independence Day" (the inspiration for the shortest video in MTV
history) and moved through a series of high energy highlights.  The
first break in tempo came 8 songs in for the reggae flavored "Radio
Ragga."  Singer/guitarist Dave Smalley introduced the next tune pointing
out that while punk crowds tend to dismiss love songs as "dumb," "...we
all love something, dogs, cats, boys, girls...here's a love song - I
hope it's not a dumb one - for all the girls who don't try to look like
Cindy Crawford." and the band broke into a wildly cheered "Ivory Girl."

"Gruesome Gary" got the best sing along response of the night -
everybody knows somebody to match the "When he walked by, you got the
fuck out of the way" chorus - but the house was packed and enthusiastic
from start to finish.

Pluto and Gas Huffer were also on the bill, and did what they do, but
DBL will be the one I come back for next time....




DISGUSTING RECIPE OF THE MONTH

The Dreaded Haggis


Ingredients:

1 Sheep's stomach
1 Sheep heart
1 Sheep liver
1/2 lb Suet, fresh (kidney leaf fat is preferred)
3/4 c Oatmeal
3 Onion; finely chopped
1 ts Salt
1/2 ts Pepper
1/4 ts Cayenne
1/2 ts Nutmeg
3/4 c  Stock

Instructions:

Wash stomach well, rub with salt and rinse. Remove membranes and excess
fat. Soak in cold salted water for several hours. Turn stomach inside out
for stuffing.

Cover heart and liver with cold water, Bring to a boil, reduce heat, cover
and simmer for 30 minutes. Chop heart and coarsely grate liver. Toast
oatmeal in a skillet on top of the stove, stirring frequently, until
golden. Combine all ingredients and mix well. Loosely pack mixture into
stomach, about two-thirds full. Remember, oatmeal expands in cooking.

Press any air out of stomach and truss securely. Put into boiling water to
  cover. Simmer for 3 hours, uncovered, adding more water as needed to
  maintain water level. Prick stomach several times with a sharp needle when
  it begins to swell; this keeps the bag from bursting. Place on a hot
  platter, removing trussing strings. Serve with a spoon.  Ceremoniously
  served with "neeps and nips"--mashed turnips, nips of whiskey and mashed
  potatoes.





MYSTERY SCIENCE THEATRE 3000: THE MOVIE

dir: Jim Mallon
Genre: movie wisecracking
Players: Michael J. Nelson, Trace Beaulieu, Jim Mallon
Music: cheesy fifties melodramatic fare
Reviewed by: John Sekerka

Remember wisecracking out loud with yer buddies during bad movies for kicks?
Mystery Science Theatre 3000: The Movie just goes to show that you can
parley pretty well any juvenile habit into a career move these days. What
used to elicit disgruntled shushing, and sometimes ushering out the door,
is now a legitimized art form under the cool moniker of 'riffing' (frat boy
quip interruptus). This little project is entering an eighth television
season and, on the strength of a big screen transformation, could very well
spawn a National riffing craze.

MST 3K is a likeable guy and two puppet/robots waxing poetic on the invitingly
juicy sci-fi classic This Island Earth, which boasts all the right ingredients:
cheapo special effects, big-headed aliens, a scattered script, top notch
overacting and painted backdrops. Our silhouetted threesome slip in some
timely jokes, seldom interrupting the movie's flow (like we care), or talking
over the dialogue. The seemingly improvised talkback is really carefully
scripted to beef up the original - which certainly needs something - like
hamburger helper for bad movies. You'd better be well versed on obscure
entertainment trivia to get all the jokes, though. Recognizing The Professor
from Gilligan's Island, and knowing the premise of that show, is vital for
a good chuckle.

The quips come fast and furious, and strict attention must be paid at all
times. Slow to start, but hilarious when rolling, the movie runs a short 74
minutes, which is just about the time this premise starts to get a little
tiresome.






A wealthy man named George wanted to hire a pianist for five thousand
dollars to play for a lavish party he was throwing for his affluent friends.
Quite knowledgeable in the realm of music and very particular, he decided to
audition pianists on the Steinway concert grand in his mansion. The first
pianist came in and played. Not good enough. George sent him away. The next
pianist came in and played. Still not good enough. Then another followed,
with the same results. Then another.
	Finally a pianist came in to audition and announced before he sat down that
he played "only his own compositions." George sighed, expecting another dud.
The pianist played. George was bowled over--the playing was exquisite, the
strange piece beautiful.
	Nearly choked up, George asked, "What was the title of that piece?"
	"The title?" the pianist responded. "You Fuckin' Bastard."
	"That's the title?"
	"Yup, that's the title."
	"Well, play another one of your compositions."
	The pianist sat down and played again. It was stunning, a virtuoso
performance of a beautiful piece.
	George asked, "what was the title of that one?"
	The pianist responded, "You Lousy Whore."
	"That's it? That's the title?"
	"That's it."
	"Hmmm... Play another one."
	On and on the pianist played, and each piece had an obscene title, but each
was beautiful and played brilliantly. Finally George stood up and declared,
"all right, you get the job, but whatever you do, you can't reveal the
titles of your pieces to my guests. Agreed?"
	"Agreed."
	The night of the party came. The pianist sat down at the piano in the large
hotel ballroom George had rented. He played piece after piece, having a
drink between them here and there. Finally a break came and the pianist got
up to go to the bathroom. When he came out, the bartender motioned for him
to come to the bar. The pianist, a bit tipsy, walked over to the bar.
	Pointing to the pianist's lower midsection, the bartender said in a subdued
tone, "Do you know your fly is down and your dick is hanging out?"
	The pianist looked at him proudly and replied, "Know it? I wrote it!"




I'm anal retentive. I'm a workaholic. I have insomnia. And I'm a control
freak. That's why I'm not married. Who could stand me?

(Madonna)



RHINO PRESENTS: THE GREATEST ROCK AND ROLL STORIES
Author: Art Fein
Publisher: General Publishing GroupLarge paperback - 240 pages
Reviewed by: DJ Johnson



I very nearly skipped this book.  I hate tabloid journalism, and at first
glance, there are a few similarities between that rodential style of writing
and the style Art Fein used to convey these stories.  For example, points
are driven home by making some sections of text larger than others.  Much
larger.  What changed my mind?  I opened it one fine day and the first thing
I saw was a picture of CCR's John Fogerty, who happens to be one of my
childhood heroes.  Next to the photo is an account of how he came to be the
only person ever sued for stealing his own song.  I knew the story, so it
gave me a little faith in the author.  I read on, and I had a lot of fun.
<IMG SRC="BOOK1.JPG" ALIGN=RIGHT>
The Greatest Rock And Roll Stories is all about fun.  While a few stories are
necessarily morbid, most of them are just plain entertaining, and Fein's
style is light and playful.  Here's an example of both morbid and playful
within the same piece: under the heading "ANOTHER MANSON RELATED DEATH - GUNS
N' ROSES RECORDS HIS SONG, DIES," Fein hypothesizes	that GnR pushed the
public too far when they recorded "Look At Your Game, Girl," a song penned
by mass murderer Charles Manson.  He makes a good point.  After all, GnR
has been pretty quiet since then, haven't they?  I say we take ten years off
of Charlie's sentence for public service.

As the book hits its stride, once-rampant rumors are chopped to bits and
laid to rest, facts are collected, trivia is dispensed, and laughs are had.
Fein tells a story, and then briefly tells you ten more that were similar.
He points out that Cyndi Lauper's "She Bop" was the first song to be so
obviously about female masturbation, then lists several that..ahem...came
immediately after.  Not, uh, satisfied to leave it at that, he then lists
several songs that were blatantly sexual in nature, specifically those
which used seafood as a metaphor for female genitalia.  After telling the
story of the shooting death of Sam Cooke, Fein reels off a list of other
famous rock n roll shootings.  After detailing Van Halen's increase in
popularity following David Lee Roth's departure, Fein lists several other
bands that went on to greater heights after losing a key player.  That's
what sets this book apart from other "trivia" books: the author doesn't just
tell a story and move on.  Every story seems to remind him of a dozen more,
and he shares them all.

The book is jammed with history, fun and silliness, not to mention a lot of
good ammo for party conversation.  If you are mildly curious to know the
details of Dylan's disastrous Newport show, if you want to have the inside
scoop on the feud between Frank Zappa and Lou Reed...and if you actually
want to know why kids started smoking banana peels in the late 60s (and God
knows I've always been curious about that one), it's all here in The Greatest
Rock And Roll Stories.






I WILL NOT BOW DOWN


I will not Bow Down America
I will not Bow Down
 to your Government
 to your Religion
I will not Bow Down America
  to your Materialism
 to your International Corporations
 to your Religious Shrines
      your Stock Markets
           your Shopping Malls
I will not Bow Down America
      to your Coal Mines
      to your Power Plants
I will not go crawling down the deep shafts
                                           at midnight
I will not Bow Down America
      to your invasion of privacy
      to your moral absolutes
           your religious political might
I will not Bow Down America
      to your Assassins
           the CIA the FBI the Corporate Police State
           your Killing Murdering Machines
I will not Bow Down America
      to your Bureaucracies
      to your schools
      to your attempt to make me the model citizen
           of Your State of Your Church
I will not Bow Down America
      to your Hisstory
           of Lies
      to your Secrets
           in the Best interest of
                         to protect
                         the People
America
   I pledge allegiance
        to those who were here before you
        to those who will be here after you are gone
America
   I pledge allegiance
        to the woman I love
        and to our children
   I pledge allegiance
        to my friends and allies
        my guides and angels
        both seen and unseen
America
   I pledge allegiance
        to poetry to music to art
        to the literary renaissance
        to the global literary community
   I pledge allegiance to the Beat to the Outsider
   I pledge allegiance to meditation to stillness
        to magic to beautiful mysticism to ecstasy
        to AH and AHA
        to the Big Bang Epiphany
        to altered states of consciousness
   I pledge allegiance
        to seeing
            into the occult the unknown
        to seeing
            into everyday into the ordinary
                 and being amazed
   I pledge allegiance to the Sacred and the Profane
        to gnostical turpitude
   I pledge allegiance to my physical body
        and to the knowledge that I am more than
            my physical body
   I pledge allegiance to seeing more than
        the physical world and to those
        of higher frequency vibration and consciousness
   I pledge allegiance to passing through the Sacred Fire
        to entering the upper chamber of the golden pyramid
        to levitating over the open sarcophagus
        to out of body experience
   I pledge allegiance to the hottest sex
        and to gentle affection
   I pledge allegiance to fractal geometry
            the geometry of clouds and coastlines
        to 2x2 equaling 5
   I pledge allegiance to Failure
        to failing as no other dare fail
   I pledge allegiance to taking risks
        to holy daring
        to nam myoho renge kyo
        to accepting responsibility for my own actions
   I pledge allegiance to not achieving
        the American Dream of Success
America
   I pledge allegiance to trees to green grass
        to brown earth to wildflowers of every color
        to wilderness to turquoise Native American skies
        to rivers lakes and seas
        to healing the earth
   I pledge allegiance to the Holy Spirit
        to the Word and to Silence
   I pledge allegiance to Dreams
   I pledge allegiance to Birth to the Journey and to Death
   I pledge allegiance
        to Candor to Sincerity to Laughter and to Irony
   I pledge allegiance to Passion to Compassion
        to Empathy and to helping those in need
   I pledge allegiance to Resurrection of the Heart
NO
America
   I will not bow down


Ron Whitehead
RWhiteBone@worldnet.att.net
copyright 1996 Ron Whitehead




THE DOG FROM HELL


I saw an old girlfriend stuck in traffic
Looking like she blossomed
Into the quintessential Kentucky Hag
She always wanted to be

Yawning like an orangatan
Scratching her head like it was her ass
I always wondered what happened to her...

This was the woman I took to meet my parents
Hoping my dad would approve
And stop asking me if I were gay
He told me I should marry her
Because no one else would have me
And I actually thought that was good advice

And then,
On to law school for this woman
This woman who always treated me
Like I was her dog
("Come here, sit up, beg...")
This woman who would vent her stentorian rage
At me, the collective scapegoat for
Every man she ever hated

And now,
Seeing her rake her fingers through
The matted clump of chickenwire excuse
She has for a hairstyle,
I don't feel very nostalgic

As a matter of fact
I feel nothing
But the hot rush of panic

The panic of being sucked through
The black hole of a past life
One where I didn't die

No, I lived through every god-awful moment
And made it to the other side
My soul and consciousness intact

Most people don't view their past relationships
With all the fondness
Of passing a kidney stone
For most people its nothing more
Than simply a bittersweet memory

I see this one
As the epitome of drunken horror
An alcoholic delusion
Where there wasn't ENOUGH bourbon or vodka
To keep the nightmare bearable
And have me pretend
That it really wasn't that bad
When in fact, it wasn't

It was worse...

Sitting there in traffic
I decided not to wave, say hello
Or even look for very long
It was too much like looking in a mirror
From a decade ago and realizing
I had only myself to blame


Copyright (c) Paul McDonald 1996
Paul@louisville.lib.ky.us



Myths and legends die hard in America. We love them for the extra dimension
they provide, the illusion of near-infinite possibility to erase the narrow
confines of most men's reality. Weird heroes and mould-breaking champions
exist as living proof to those who need it that the tyranny of "the rat
race" is not yet final.


(Hunter S. Thompson)




Editorial Page, New York Sun, 1897

We take pleasure in answering thus prominently the communication below,
expressing at the same time our great gratification that its faithful author
is numbered among the friends of The Sun:


Dear Editor---

I am 8 years old. Some of my little friends say there is no Santa Claus. Papa
says, "If you see it in The Sun, it's so." Please tell me the truth, is
there a Santa Claus?

Virginia O'Hanlon


Virginia, your little friends are wrong. They have been affected by the
scepticism of a sceptical age. They do not believe except they see. They
think that nothing can be which is not comprehensible by their little minds.
All minds, Virginia, whether they be men's or children's, are little. In this
great universe of ours, man is a mere insect, an ant, in his intellect as
compared with the boundless world about him, as measured by the intelligence
capable of grasping the whole of truth and knowledge.

Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus. He exists as certainly as love and
generosity and devotion exist, and you know that they abound and give to your
life its highest beauty and joy. Alas! how dreary would be the world if there
were no Santa Claus! It would be as dreary as if there were no Virginias.
There would be no childlike faith then, no poetry, no romance to make
tolerable this existence. We should have no enjoyment, except in sense and
sight. The external light with which childhood fills the world would be
extinguished.

Not believe in Santa Claus! You might as well not believe in fairies. You
might get your papa to hire men to watch in all the chimneys on Christmas eve
to catch Santa Claus, but even if you did not see Santa Claus coming down,
what would that prove? Nobody sees Santa Claus, but that is no sign that
there is no Santa Claus. The most real things in the world are those that
neither children nor men can see. Did you ever see fairies dancing on the
lawn? Of course not, but that's no proof that they are not there. Nobody can
conceive or imagine all the wonders there are unseen and unseeable in the
world.

You tear apart the baby's rattle and see what makes the noise inside, but
there is a veil covering the unseen world which not the strongest man, nor
even the united strength of all the strongest men that ever lived could tear
apart. Only faith, poetry, love, romance, can push aside that curtain and view
and picture the supernal beauty and glory beyond. Is it all real? Ah,
Virginia, in all this world there is nothing else real and abiding.

No Santa Claus! Thank God! he lives and lives forever. A thousand years from
now, Virginia, nay 10 times 10,000 years from now, he will continue to make
glad the heart of childhood.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

           E-MAIL ADDRESSES FOR CONTACTING COSMIK DEBRIS' WRITERS

                      
               DJ Johnson (Editor)......moonbaby@serv.net
               James Andrews............jimndrws@serv.net
               Ann Arbor................Nprice@aol.com
			   coLeSLAw.................coleslaw@greatgig.com
               Robert Cummings..........rcummings@csrlink.net
               Shaun Dale...............stdale@well.com
               Phil Dirt................Luft.F@diversey.geis.com
               David Fenigsohn..........a-davef@microsoft.com
               Alex Gedeon..............abraxas@primenet.com
               Keith Gillard............liquid@uniserve.com
               Louise Johnson...........aquaria@serv.net
               Steven Leith.............leith@speakeasy.org
               Lauren Marshall..........Ocean@pluto.njcc.com
               Steve Marshall...........SteveM@pluto.njcc.com
               The Platterpuss..........Plattrpuss@aol.com
               Paul Remington...........premington@rochgte.fidonet.org
               John Sekerka.............jsekerka@gsc.NRCan.gc.ca
   			 
           Cosmik Debris' WWW site..http://www.greatgig.com/cosmikdebris

           Subscription requests....moonbaby@serv.net

           Jim Andrews' "JimbOnline" web site (contains tons of Windows 95
           (tm) shareware) is at http://www.serv.net/~jimndrws

           Shaun Dale's web site is at http://www.zipcon.com/stdale

           Phil Dirt's Surf Site is at http://www.cygnus.com/kfjc/surf

           Keith Gillard's "Liquid Records WWW site is located
           at http://haven.uniserve.com/~liquid
           
           Steven Leith's web site is at http://www.serv.net/~leith







