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	       OCTOBER, 1995 (Issue # 5) HAPPY HALLOWEEN!
============================================================================

	       Editor.......................DJ Johnson
	       Assistant Editor.............Louise Johnson
	       HTML Guru....................Jim Andrews
	       Cosmik Art Dude..............coLeSLAw

		    COSMIK DEBRIS is written by: 
		     
			 Jim Andrews       
			 Drew Feinberg
			 Art Fridrich
			 DJ Johnson
			 Steven Leith
			 Steve Marshall
			 The Platterpuss
		
		     With the frequent help of 

			 Cai Campbell
			 Magthorn
			 Scott Wedel
		      
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
	       
		 T A B L E   O F   C O N T E N T S
		 
 EDITOR'S NOTES - Just your basic "stuff about this issue" kind of thang.

 THE GREAT SURF SUMMIT - 10 of today's best surf musicians in one big 
     interview!  Thanks to the wonders of e-mail, John Blair, Ferenc 
     Dobronyi, Dave Arnson, Mel Waldorf, Rick Johnson, Pepper Wilson,
     Joe Emery, Todd Damnit, Allen Whitman and Bernard Yin were able 
     to join us, spread out across the country though they are, for a
     memorable Cosmik interview.  And this is only part one!

 LABELLED: VITAL MUSIC RECORDS - Tom Cassar has built a label that puts
     out some of the strangest and best records in the indie scene.  Tom
     took time out of his busy schedule to give us the lowdown on Vital.
     Attention, future label owners - take good notes.

 COSMIK DEBRIS' RECORD REVIEWS - Another big ol' stack of reviews by The
     Platterpuss, Steve Marshall and DJ Johnson.  This month, we branch
     out a little further into other musical styles.

 EDGAR ALLAN POE'S "THE CASK OF AMONTILLADO" - A great work by the king of 
     goosebumps.  This one drips atmosphere!  Happy Halloween.

 THE COSMIK GUIDE TO GREAT HALLOWEEN VIEWING - DJ and Drew review some of
     their favorite fright-flicks.  Just our way of keeping you from drawing
     a blank at the video store on Halloween.  You can thank us later.

 THE OLD MAN RADIO HOUR INTERVIEWS - This month, The Old Man talks with 
     George Reagan, of Hagfish.  Having just signed with London Records,
     he had a lot to talk about.

 BETWEEN ZERO AND ONE - Steven Leith's inaugural column, in which he sets
     the record straight on cynicism.

 DREW'S VIEWS - Our Mr. Feinberg reveals what a typical All Hallows Eve is
     like when you're candy-challenged.

 SHARP POINTED STICK AWARD - DJ hands the trophy off to a few deserving 
     morons, and even manages to draw a little of his own blood.

 URBANIA - Jim Andrews tap dances on the edge once again.

 THE DEBRIS FIELD - Poetry, jokes, wisecracks, raves, etc.  This month, in
     honor of Halloween, we sprinkled a bit of Poe in there, plus there's
     a nice offering from the mysterious Magthorn.

 SPECIAL THANKS - Come watch us brown-nose in public!  It'll be fun.
 
 HOW TO CONTACT US - Email addresses and a few URL's to help you give us a
     piece of your mind.

 ---------------------------------------------------------------------------

		   E D I T O R ' S    N O T E S
		   
     Hello again.  Happy Halloween, y'all!  That's always been one of my
 favorite nights of the year.  I was one of those "troubled" children who
 spent his Friday evenings in a blanket-tent with a black and white TV, 
 watching old classic horror films.  I still get a good buzz from scary
 flicks.  Not that gross slasher nonsense, but a good monster or ghost
 movie.  In the spirit of the season, we're bringing you a few Halloween
 tidbits.  First, a classic tale by the master himself, Edgar Allan Poe.
 "A Cask Of Amontillado" still makes the hair on the back of my neck stand
 up.  We also have a few poems by Mr. Poe in our Debris Field.  There is
 also a short collection of movie reviews to help pick out some good flicks
 for a quiet Halloween at home in your own blanket tent.  
     We're pretty excited around here this month, because we just interviewed
 10 of the best surf musicians around.  All at the same time.  "The Great 
 Surf Summit" kicks off this month and will conclude next month.  There was
 just too much good stuff, so I couldn't bring myself to shear it down to
 one-issue size.  The interview itself is still going on, in fact. 
     Our music/politics balance is way off this issue.  For those of you who
 subscribe primarily for the political articles, I'd just like to say stick
 around, next month we'll be back to the usual balance.  As often happens in
 zineland, our big political story fell through.  Oooops.  Next month.  I
 promise. 
     One of the things that really makes me love this job is when I get a 
 subscription request from someone in another country.  Every time a new
 country is added to the list, I e-mail the entire Cosmik Staff to tell
 them about it.  When I started Cosmik Debris, it didn't even occur to me
 that we'd be read elsewhere, but as of today's addition of a subscriber in
 Scotland, we are being read in 17 countries!  Thank you to all our readers,
 in America and everywhere around the globe.
     One last major deal - Last month, I introduced The Platterpuss, who 
 writes reviews for many zines.  I mentioned that Foster Child was his own
 publication, but it turns out I misunderstood.  Foster Child is the work of
 Tony Miller, who can be reached at Tonmil@delphi.com for info on subscribing.
 My appologies to Mr. Miller and the staff at Foster Child.  
     
     SO!  Happy Halloween and happy reading.  

     DJ Johnson
     Editor
 
 ---------------------------------------------------------------------------

	      T H E   G R E A T   S U R F   S U M M I T 
  
	An interview with a virtual who's who in the surf scene.
	By DJ Johnson

       Surf music, to the vast majority of the public, means The Beach Boys
  and Jan & Dean.  To the people who know the genre, that's BEACH music.
  There's a difference.  True surf music is instrumental and powerful, tuned
  to the sound of the waves.  Although there are some very primal lo-fi surf
  bands out there, the leading edge is populated by some of the worlds most
  incredible musicians.  
       Dick Dale, The Surfaris, The Sentinals and other great bands started
  the form in the early 60's, but the British invasion wiped it out, at least
  as far as the general public was concerned.  In 1979, a revival took place.
  John Blair, of Jon & The Nightriders, and Dave Arnson, of The Insect 
  Surfers, were two of the very few musicians who followed their hearts and
  breathed new life into Surf.  That period of new appreciation would die
  down, as well, but it has come back strong in the past few years, bringing
  a new crop of amazingly talented players to the forefront.  Pollo Del Mar
  and The Mermen are among the newer bands that bring a strong sense of drama
  and power to the mix.  The Halibuts' make fantastic albums that are precise
  and diverse, from song to song.  And they've been at it for a decade and
  a half.  Death Valley has taken surf and spaghetti western music and fused
  it into something unique and wonderful.  The Mel-Tones play a traditional
  brand of surf with great melody and excellent guitar work.  Thee Phantom
  5ive play foot stomping trad surf with gusto and humor.  And Brazil 2001
  play several styles of music, including some amazing instro that has to be
  heard to be believed.
       This interview was done using a temporary e-mail list.  Everyone saw
  the questions and one anothers responses as they were posted.  This meant
  they were free to comment on other comments, which worked out very well.
  In places, it may become confusing, since some responses begat responses
  to more than one subject.  That made it difficult to choose the order in
  which to place the responses in the final edit.  The result is that 
  sometimes it seems somebody is responding to something that was said five
  minutes ago.  Couldn't be helped.  All in all, however, this minor hardship
  is more than made up for by the fact that doing it this way enabled us to
  get a diverse group of artists in several cities from coast to coast 
  together for one big group discussion.  So let's get started by introducing
  the group:
  
  Dave Arnson (The Insect Surfers) - Guitar - Los Angeles, CA
  John Blair (Jon & The Nightriders) - Guitar - Mission Viejo, CA
  Todd Damnit (Thee Phantom 5ive) - Bass - Memphis, TN
  Joe Emery (Death Valley) - Guitar - Austin, TX
  Ferenc Dobronyi (Pollo Del Mar) - Guitar - San Francisco, CA
  Rick Johnson (The Halibuts) - Guitar - Los Angeles, CA
  Mel Waldorf (The Mel-Tones) - Guitar - Pawtucket, RI
  Allen Whitman (The Mermen) - Bass - San Francisco, CA                
  Pepper Wilson (Death Valley) - Bass - Austin, TX
  Bernard Yin (Brazil 2001) - Guitar - Los Angeles, CA
  
----------------------------------------------------------------------------- 

COSMIK DEBRIS: Recently, there have been so many new directions taken with
    instro music by so many talented new bands, some fragmentation just has 
    to happen. Like right here, we have surf traditionalists, surf-punks, 
    "spaghetti western surf," as people call it, and a few other styles.  
    You guys cover a lot of ground there.  How do you all see the state of 
    the instro scene right now?

RICK JOHNSON: Surf Music has absolutely boomed! We started the Halibuts in 
    1982. At that time there were 3-4 surf bands playing (not including the 
    Ventures and the Surfaris who had reformed). We could get a gig about 1 
    a month. In the late 80's things really slowed down. We were playing 
    about 1 every two months. Compare that with this September. We've got 7 
    gigs. We definitely noticed a big change about the time of Pulp Fiction. 
    Dick Dale was starting to tour and showing up on MTV. During the lean 
    years (late 80's) our main following was surfers, surfers, and surfers. 
    They came, watched the surf movies, and listened to the surf band 
    (surfers don't dance unless they're really drunk and some cute girl makes 
    them). Since then the crowd is a total mix of ages and interests.  
    There's always been that mix of styles here in LA. Agent Orange was doing 
    the surf punk thing. The Surf Raiders were the traditionalists. Jon & The 
    Nightriders was traditional, but with the power and speed of the surf 
    punks (we were trying for that too). The Wedge was throwing in a bit of 
    that mid 70's type rock sound.  There was also a band K-55 that was doing 
    a kind of Hendrix thing. The diversity isn't really new (except for the 
    spaghetti western - I can't think of anyone who was doing that yet).  My 
    whole point is that the instro scene is as good as I've ever seen it.
    There are more instro bands in LA than I can count and more recordings 
    (reissue and new) available than ever before. Clubs are less afraid to 
    book bands that don't sing and people are going to clubs to see those 
    bands. That's got to be a good thing.

ALLEN WHITMAN: I totally agree with Rick on this.  Seems like there's always 
    been a place for music without words.  Words cause people to define 
    emotional and symbolic boundaries...instrumental music invites people to 
    create their own landscape in their heads.  Anyway, "instro" is getting a 
    lot of attention now...

JOE EMERY: I totally agree with this.  A great vocal song can be significant 
    to people in any number of ways in that it's about something and can 
    trigger any cool memory.  But instro stuff can be about ANYTHING -- even 
    if you know what the Shadows'  "Apache" or the Nautiloids' "Nautiloid 
    Reef" or even "The Lonely Bull" are written about, the fact that there 
    is a great catchy tune and no vocals leaves so much open to individual 
    interpretation.  I love vocal stuff as much as instro stuff but you say 
    so much more when you are just playing a melodic song without words.  
    This especially seems significant nowadaze when you hear so many crap 
    "alternative" bands out there (read: Bush, Nine Inch Nails, Ned's Atomic 
    Dustbin) with absolutely nothing to say, who nonetheless sing like what 
    they're singing is oh so important.

JOHN BLAIR: We seem to be in the throes of the second big revival of interest 
    in "surf" and rock instrumental music since the 60s.  The first was in 
    the early 80's (although there was a very modest movement afoot a few 
    years earlier that seemed to have been spawned by Jim Pewter's big surf 
    show at the Palladium, I think, in L.A.).  The current movement is by far 
    more energetic, widespread (I just got a CD from Sweden's The Surfing 
    Spacemen!) musically diverse, and exciting than it was in the 80s.  I see 
    it as still growing, too.  The recent semi-major record deals deservedly 
    handed to the Mermen and the Ultras (I hope I'm right about the bands...
    I was a bit confused about this a few weeks ago) -- AND the recent 
    inclusion of a track from the Hellecasters' 2nd CD on the rotation 
    playlist of the mainstream FM alternative rock station KSCA here in 
    L.A. -- have indicated, to me anyway, an optimistic trend toward greater 
    exposure of the music to the masses.  The seemingly non-stop touring of 
    Man Or Astro-Man (and the fact that they seem to have a new CD on the 
    market every other week!) is certainly a major contribution also. Further 
    analytical BS aside, I'm just glad to see so much activity.  It's very, 
    very frustrating for me, though, since it's become impossible to keep up 
    with everything. There's so much great music being made and I want to 
    hear it all!! I hope the momentum continues and that more bands join in 
    the fun.  I also hope that those who have only released cassette tapes 
    so far get in the studio and cut CD's (Surf Report from San Diego and 
    The Surf Tones from NY come to mind).  More power to ya...
 
ALLEN WHITMAN: I agree that more instro bands [should] try to find a way to 
    press some CD's.  Having A CD definitely lends an air of legitimacy to a 
    musical outfit.  Also, vinyl aside, they sound better than cassettes.

DAVE ARNSON: The state of the instro scene right now is better than it has 
    been since surf instros got knocked off the charts by the Mersey beat and 
    Folk Rock in 1964-65! Instro music is all over commercials... Talking 
    with Phantom Surfer Mel several months ago, he was pointing out that the 
    extensive use of Motown music in "The Big Chill" movie led people to 
    start calling Motown music "Big Chill" music, and that people were going 
    to start calling surf music  Pulp Fiction Music.   Sure enough, a girl 
    came up to me after a set and said, "I liked your music, but you guys 
    were a little Pulp Fiction sounding."   Hey! I've been playing this stuff 
    since the summer of 1979 -- but, I don't really mind.  As long as the 
    music goes into the public's consciousness in a decent way, I think its 
    great.  The fact that every Metropolitan area (and lots of smaller burgs) 
    currently have instro acts is really exciting.  This is the most exciting 
    time ever to be involved in this music and it's spreading worldwide, too.  
    Ultimately it's impossible at this point to see where it's going to peak.  
    I think however that instro and surf instro music has finally expanded to 
    assert itself as a genre comparable in validity and diversity to Zydeco, 
    Cajun, Bluegrass, Rockabilly, etc.  -- as a legitimate style of American 
    music.

PEPPER WILSON: I agree that the instro scene has been growing and has not yet 
    peaked.  The inclusion of surf/instro music in mainstream television 
    commercials is a sure sign of the genre's growing popularity.  From our 
    point of view, in Austin, Pulp Fiction introduced the masses to the scene 
    in unsurpassed numbers.  The phrase "Cool, those guys sound like Pulp 
    Fiction..." was heard throughout the land.  Despite the nationwide 
    uprising, surf/instro shows are by no means the big sellers here.  Even 
    the biggest bands have a comparatively small draw in Texas, so I think 
    that there is plenty of room for growth.  I get the feeling that the 
    scene is bigger on the west coast.  In fact,  with the demise of The 
    Swanktones and The Spoilers, Austin has witnessed a decrease in the 
    number of local instro bands.

TODD DAMNIT: I do a radio show as well as thee combo Thee Phantomb 5ive so 
    this gives me an opportunity to hear some screamin' combos the world
    over. The scene is thriving from what I can see from my Nashville-
    insulated view. The wild thing is how there are bands in every city and 
    state, or so it seems, blastin' out instros. And they are by no means 
    necessarily near an ocean. There must be 50 times more acts than in the 
    early sixties. I guess people were thirstin' for something fast, melodic, 
    and above all fun!! There is plenty of generic surf tunes being spawned 
    and I ain't sure our combo is above the common stuff but it is simply a 
    kick to be able to make records, sell a thousand outta my living room to 
    finance the next money pit and laugh at the insane mail that follows.  
    Pick any city of size and I will bet that there is some sick four-piece, 
    pale from a lack of sun, siftin' thru their stack of ventures and surf 
    comps looking for a riff to lift for their next surf pounder!

JOE EMERY: State of the instro scene?  Ha!!!  Sure, we appreciate a small yet 
    loyal alcoholic male following, but c'mon!  As far as I see it, until the 
    chicks shun Perl Jam Blowfish and start following the real men, we shall 
    remain in the sad state that we are - read: instro = trekkie ("Look at 
    you.  You're probably 30 years old, have you ever kissed a girl?").  
    Perhaps we should all join the hair club for men and go for the 120 
    minutes thingy.

ALLEN WHITMAN: OH excellent! a man with spunk!  Now we're all over 35 and 
    it's true that there is a stigma attached to being an instrumental act.  
    People ALWAYS ask: " so, have you ever thought about getting a singer?"  
    The answer is: "It'll NEVER happen." I like it when people haven't heard 
    this music and ya tell 'em there's no singing and they kinda go "yeah...
    ok...sure, WELL!"  And then you play and they come up to you afterwards 
    looking like the Big Daddy Don Garlits cartoons from Mad magazine in the 
    sixties during the hot-rod craze drooling over themselves and buying CD's 
    like lotto tickets!!!  That's the guys, the girls react more subtly to it.

TODD DAMNIT: I'll second Joe Emery's opinion.  Avid surf/instro fans that 
    turn up at our shows usually looks something like this: pale, thin, 
    sideburned, short geeky hair, reads too many fanzines,comics and film 
    mags, owns lots of vinyl and b-movie dubs, and, this is the real clue, 
    does not have a girlfriend -- Testosterone to burn!

RICK JOHNSON: Wow, I feel spoiled! You guys need a trip to LA. The instro 
    following here is definitely not a nerd crowd.

ALLEN WHITMAN: Hear hear,  most of the folks into this stuff are professionals 
    with real lives and families...unlike some of us!

COSMIK DEBRIS: That's interesting.  Here in Seattle, the surf crowd and the 
    garage crowd seem to be one and the same.  Kind of a "happy beer crowd," 
    but not particularly "nerdy."  About 80% male, though.  I'm curious...
    Those of you who tour can help me on this...Do you see a whole different 
    type of crowd in different regions?

ALLEN WHITMAN: Interesting question...I think it is pretty cross-cultural, 
    actually.  But, because Instrumental music does require one to think for 
    oneself, a slightly more self-aware type is noticed...beer-facers 
    accepted, of course...and the more popular it becomes, the less well-
    defined the demographic!

PEPPER WILSON: I don't think that Joe really meant that only nerds come to 
    the surf shows in our region.  I think he means that surf bands don't 
    attract as many girls as other types of bands.  It seems like the 
    majority of punk/funk/alternative/college radio type people, have not 
    yet adopted the instro/surf stuff.  For instance, there is place in 
    Austin called Emo's and they also have Emo's in Dallas and Houston.  
    Emo's bills itself as "Alternative Lounging."  At the Austin Emo's, there 
    is quite a lot of grunge/punk kids that frequent that establishment.  When 
    we play there, the kids really dig us, and we go over quite well but they 
    don't follow us to other venues.  I also feel that the surf and garage 
    crowd is pretty much the same here and they make up a large part of our 
    draw, but the number of people who really considers themself surf/instro 
    connoisseurs is still small.  But we did once play at an otherwise very 
    traditional southern wedding reception.  They wanted us to play our 
    normal set, no traditional wedding songs.

ALLEN WHITMAN: YEAH!!!  We've done a couple of weddings and private parties 
    and they want us to give 'em the usual...It's only people that don't know 
    us that ask us to remember that it's a "family" show.  I LOVE that one.

JOE EMERY: Hey, sorry.  Let me clarify this.  With the "trekkie" remark i was 
    actually referring to us - not the nice decent people who come out to our 
    shows. But I will say don't come to one of our shows expecting to meet 
    girls. Bad ratio, I'm afraid...

FERENC DOBRONYI: I think that one of the greatest parts of the resurgence of 
    surf music is audience acceptance. It is a real leap of faith for 
    non-musician music fans to watch all instrumental music. Having a lead 
    singer gives a typical rock band a focus for most of the audience. Sure, 
    a lead guitarist will take a solo for one verse, but then all attention 
    turns back to the singer, and the words that he sings carry a direct 
    meaning, whereas in all instrumental band, the music is the focus. And 
    pure music exists on a non-verbal, emotional plane where it will have a 
    different meaning for everyone who hears it.  Surf music touches our 
    primal instincts. The heavy reverb carries a sonic envelope similar to 
    that of white-noise.  White-noise is also the sound of waves hitting the 
    beach. The fans who were first attracted to the music of the Bel-aires 
    were surfers. Whether they knew it or not, they literally heard the sound 
    of the ocean crashing somewhere behind the pounding rhythm and minor 
    chords of Mr. Moto.  When an audience listens to and sees a surf band, 
    they are sure to get caught up in the trappings of rock'n'roll: the 
    guitars, bass and drums, the light show, the guys on stage. But somewhere 
    beneath the reptile mind level of their consciousness, they are attracted 
    to the primordial call of the ocean, the birthplace of all life on our 
    planet, burned into the most recessive corners of our DNA.  I see the 
    resurgence in the popularity of surf music as a shift in the social and 
    environmental consciousness of our times.

ALLEN WHITMAN: Omigod Ferenc...I had no idea you cared! I'm not sure about 
    what the movement represents, but remember the nature of mass 
    consciousness...fame is fleeting, and all that.  Use it NOW, before the 
    public decides that prog-rock is now the IN thing!

MEL WALDORF: Here on the east coast, the scene is still very much growing.  
    Although there are very few established "scenes" there are surf nights 
    every so often in clubs, and enough bands to book a full night of instro 
    fury.  It's neat to see so many different variations on the theme; I 
    think we've all been affected by the music that has been produced since 
    the first surf wave in the early sixties, and we bring that into our 
    music to a degree.  As for the recent rise of instrumental music, I would 
    point to the state of popular vocal music as an attributing factor.  In 
    alternagrunge for instance it's often so hard to understand the lyrics, 
    that they become simply melody, and melody is easily accomplished with 
    instruments.  Not that I expect vocal music to go away any time soon.  

BERNARD YIN: Generally, I think it (the state of surf music) is healthy and
    cool. There isn't a surf/instro. band that I can think of that one can 
    point a finger at for selling out and ruining the "magic". The majority 
    of the players really care [purist or not] and in reference to a 
    commentary thread recently posted amongst this group, IF surf/instro. 
    was a "chick" attracting genre, it would be doomed. This resurgence is 
    probably the best thing to happen in electric music in a long time.  
    It's nice to also have musicianship applauded. Granted, you don't have 
    to be Eddie Van Halen to play Walk Don't Run but one surf classic instro. 
    has more to offer me [speaking for myself now!] than all of Nirvana's 
    "catalog" etc.  Argh!  Variety is fine with me and the polarity between, 
    say, Laika and the Cosmonauts and The Mermen is just fine. I am very 
    interested in seeing what develops on a creative level in the future and 
    am pretty content with the level of support currently in existence for 
    instro. bands. I think I heard it from Dave of The Insect Surfers [maybe 
    he made it up I dunno]: "If it makes you feel like surfing, then it's 
    surf music".  For example, more surfers bought Jane's Addiction records 
    in recent years than Ventures or Dick Dale albums ... I like Jane's 
    Addiction and it gets me fired up for just about anything so why not 
    consider IT a fringe "surf" sound? 
    
ALLEN WHITMAN: This begs the question..."Do you surf??"  Or does one need to 
    to be authentic?

FERENC DOBRONYI: I agree 100% about Janes Addiction. And there is a strong 
    correlation between the amount of effects that Dave Navarro was using on 
    his guitar to give it that huge "fake space", and the amount of reverb 
    that a surf guitarist uses for the same effect. Certainly Jim Thomas of 
    The Mermen has gone way, far beyond just adding a little reverb to get 
    his sound. 

ALLEN WHITMAN: Jim has, by the "standard", gone way beyond, but, as far as I 
    can tell, he's not trying to "do" anything, he's just translating for us 
    the voices that torment him in his sleep.  It's like he can't help it...
    you should hear what he was doing last night at rehearsal!
 
PEPPER WILSON: Well, the "do you surf?" question doesn't show up too much here 
    in Austin, as you can imagine.  We don't have to worry about any 
    correlation between the music and recreational activity.

BERNARD YIN: Personally, I don't think it matters. Besides, wet fingers 
    aren't fun on a fretboard!

ALLEN WHITMAN: Well, actually, to hear SOME people tell it...it REALLY 
    matters.  But, I agree with you.  We're playing music here.  How a person 
    reacts to it is their own biz...

FERENC DOBRONYI: We don't surf, but the rhythm and drama of the ocean is 
    very important in our song arrangements. We try, in a cinematic way, to 
    have every song relate to a long-board ride. Sometimes the waves are 
    flat and calm. sometimes you get a smokin' ride, and a lot of times you 
    crash and burn (and those are the most fun to describe musically!)

RICK JOHNSON: Really, I don't think you need to surf. In fact very few surf 
    songs give me an image of surfing when I hear them or play them. But 
    there are a few that do: Rumble at Waikiki, Banzai Washout... 
    Unfortunately, when you are in the water surfing you rarely hear only 
    surf music. Usually its whatever you heard last before you got out of 
    your car. In fact sometimes you start singing a bad Tony Orlando song 
    just so it gets stuck in your surf buddies heads for the next couple of 
    hours.

COSMIK DEBRIS: Man, I'm glad I'm not one of YOUR surf buddies!

JOE EMERY: I surf... in my mind... ... ... OOOOOPS!!!

BERNARD YIN: I am purely playing devil's advocate but it is a weird thing to 
    ponder, like it or not. What I am leading to is the possibility of mutant 
    strains evolving that are not ridiculously "un-surf" but far from 
    recognizable as stemming from the classics. Purely conjecture. I really 
    believe that this genre should reside mostly in obscurity so as not to 
    endanger itself. I hope that there is no other compilation as hot as Pulp 
    Surfing [though I love it]. There is a chance here, idealist in me 
    speaking, to not ruin a good thing as is too often the American way.
    Another point I'd like to make is it currently does not reek of revivalism 
    in a weird way like, say, Lenny Kravitz is Jimi Hendrix. Even the 
    traditional surf bands don't seem like they are playing rehash. It seems 
    to be a form of music which by not having ever been over-mediated, seems 
    less vulnerable to dating and getting stale.  Important too is that it is 
    basically fun. I often joke using the Robert Plant quote "Does anybody 
    remember laughter?". Fun in music won't ruin it! All the aforementioned 
    in mind is probably why I consider myself "fringe". I love the music and 
    feel like enough cool bands already exist. I admittedly draw upon surf 
    and instro. ideas for my own music but I never promote myself as a hard 
    core surf/instro. musician. It has often been read into my music more 
    than I would have encouraged. I am honored to be in the company of good
    twangers though and trust me, feel them notes when I play them as much as 
    I can. I play Mesa Boogie/Marshall gear turned to 11 but have bent 
    recently for a Fender Amp and have possessed in the past MANY Twin 
    Reverbs.

MEL WALDORF: Definitely a high fun factor in playing surf music.  That's what 
    attracted me to the music as a listener and as a player.  The energy of 
    surf is lively, reckless, and simple.  It appeals to a very deep instinct, 
    the same one that inches my throttle foot to the firewall.  And I think 
    it is responsible for the popularity of the music.  When so much music 
    is depressing and whiny, the fun factor of surf really sets it apart.  

FERENC DOBRONYI: I have to disagree here [Ed: about rehashing the past]. 
    Unfortunately, I would say, there is a core of the surf scene that is 
    dedicated to strictly rehashing what they perceive as the low-fidelity 
    sound and inept playing of the original surf bands. There is, however a 
    large audience that enjoys this. So if it makes people happy, that's 
    great. But to me, there is no sense in living in denial of the present.

BERNARD YIN: Hmmmmmm, perhaps I choose not to know some things in this life!

COSMIK DEBRIS: On the subject of lo-fi surf bands, don't you think they have 
    a place?  Of course, everything looks different from your perspectives.  
    You guys are all from the top of the talent pool, in my opinion. Speaking 
    as a musician, I'm knocked out by the playing of the people in this 
    "room." But the thing is, some of those lo-fi bands are approaching from 
    a more primal punk angle, and they're introducing a lot of punks to 
    instro surf.  When I'm lurking on punk e-mail lists, I see a lot of surf 
    bands mentioned, and they seem to have discovered them by starting with 
    the lo-fi's. Doesn't this validate the lo-fi's, in your opinions, since 
    they open people up so they can discover you?

JOHN BLAIR: Of course they have a place, although I think the term "lo-fi" 
    may be a bit harsh and overly snobbish.  Talent is as talent does (did I 
    just say that???).  There's room for all musical styles, expertise, and 
    production values in this music and I feel as if all of them are valid.  
    I don't know that I'd go so far as to say that these bands expose a lot 
    of "punks" to a broader range of music.  That's almost like saying that 
    pot is a gateway drug.  I'd like to believe that EVERY instrumental rock 
    band exposes its audience to the overall genre.  All of us validate the 
    music and our audience validates all of us.  Anyway, I tend to believe 
    that our (i.e., the collective group of instro rock bands from the 
    Neptunas to Man or Astroman? to The Trashwomen to The Mermen) audience is 
    composed of a younger crowd (mostly guys as some of you have pointed 
    out...much to my, and others I'm sure, disappointment).  I doubt that 
    many over-30-year-olds are active members of our audience and buyers of 
    our recordings. I'd be surprised if that were the case.  No, I think we 
    may be playing roots music but all of us are playing to a younger 
    audience than the style of music would suggest.  This audience probably 
    also listens to Green Day, Alannis Morrisette (sp?), The Red Hot Chili 
    Peppers, and god-knows-who-else.  I think that audience is very eclectic.  
    My main point is that I think The Mermen can just as easily motivate their 
    audience to "discover" The Trashwomen as Impala, Southern Culture On The 
    Skids, or Man or Astroman? can motivate their audience to seek out The 
    Eliminators or Blue Hawaiians.

JOE EMERY: As long as the SONGS are good, I love surf/instro. stuff, hi-fi or 
    lo-fi.  BUT in my mind lo-fi doesn't necessarily mean bad production - as 
    long as the stuff kicks (the last Bomboras 7", the Supercharger lp).  The 
    thing I like about new instro. stuff compared to the 60's stuff is that 
    there's a lot more emphasis on writing catchy songs, regardless of the 
    production.  What I don't like is entire albums of ultra lo-fi stuff that 
    just rehashes Dick Dale's "Surf Beat" sound - the 1,4,5 stuff.  I'm sure 
    there's lots of bands that "have to be seen live" but I get more than a 
    little annoyed when I shell out ten bucks for a fancy looking garage/surf 
    record, only to find out the musicians are playing out of key half the 
    time, or what's worse, doing ultra lame cover versions of great old 
    surf/instro tunes.

FERENC DOBRONYI: I agree. One of the great things about surf music is that 
    from its very beginnings, a precedence was set that the songs did not have 
    to follow the standard rock'n'roll/blues/boogie woogie I/IV/V chord 
    progression (Misirlou being based on a Greek scale and Mr. Moto is modal). 
    There is no reason for any songwriter to feel constrained in any way when 
    composing; there are no rules in surf!

DAVID ARNSON: Lo-fi definitely has a place, but raw recording techniques 
    should not be mistaken for being more "authentic" style surf.  I think 
    that cruder sounding recordings from beginning bands are to be expected, 
    but if you really want to emulate the sixties' surf band sounds you 
    don't necessarily have to replicate primitive recording techniques! 
    Admittedly there is a fascination with how dementedly raw some old 
    recordings can sound -- listen to half of the old recordings on the 
    amazing "Diggin' Out" compilation lp or anything that Seattle's "The 
    Sonics" put out '64-66.  The ultimate current example is Japan's "Guitar 
    Wolf".  No one could possibly sound as bad even in a live situation.  
    Their stuff is so grungily recorded that it almost (key word is almost) 
    sounds like some totally twisted art experiment.  Way out, daddy-o!  
    Overall though, it can be frustrating to repeatedly listen to something 
    that's badly (or sloppily) recorded. I think every lo-fi band has a 
    valid place though. For me the bottom line is the music itself and not 
    as much the medium of recording.

JOHN BLAIR: Just to throw my two cents in here about the music, itself, it's 
    always been interesting to me that the vast majority of surf 
    instrumentals were, and are, written in minor keys.  Only a handful of 
    major key tunes comes to mind such as "Misirlou," "Wipe Out," "Surf 
    Beat," or "Baja."  Most of the rest, "Pipeline," "Mr. Moto," and 
    "Penetration" included, are in minor keys (Em, Dm, and F#m, respectively).
    I'm not really sure why this is but it's intriguing.  My only thought is 
    that there's a distinctive emotional response to the sound of a minor 
    chord as opposed to a major chord (amazing what the loss of one flatted 
    note will do, eh?) and somehow this "trend" was adopted by the early 
    bands playing in the genre.  It's also interesting that Dick Dale seemed 
    to prefer major key instrumentals while most of the other surf bands 
    that followed played mostly minor riffs.  Am I way off here, or is there 
    something behind this?  Comments?

ALLEN WHITMAN:  The lion's share of the music we play is minor.  It makes 
    the few major ones really stand out and really fun to play.

RICK JOHNSON: Here's a point where I disagree with a lot of people. To me, 
    lo-fi usually sounds thin and hard to listen to. I could never understand 
    why bands purposely wouldn't want to sound a good as they possibly can. 
    Some may argue that it adds a more energetic flavor, but I really don't 
    understand how a band's energy is passed differently in lo-fi. Of course 
    if your budget limits what you can do, its probably better to record 
    than not record.

TODD DAMNIT: Who are we talkin' about here, these lo-fi combos. Would it 
    include The Phantom Surfers, Trashwomen, Sir Bald Diddley, the awfully 
    named Astronauts?  I think they all have a rightful place along side 
    other instro acts. All of the above are fun, in their own way, and rock 
    in the rite places. I have always felt that the original surf scene was 
    an early sixties punk reaction based on a DIY philosophy, velocity and 
    playin' for kicks chicks; when I hear the Trashwomen this is what I hear. 
    My combo has all old, vintage gear that actually works and we have some 
    vintage, one-track recorders and mixers but we choose not to record 
    records with it. it is not practical for us.  Some of the ultra-slick 
    combos, Laika, The Quiets, The Aquavelvets sound great, to these ears, 
    next to The Phantom Surfers and The Cedrics. I don't really care about 
    the recording standard but do appreciate a combo that can all play 
    together, in time together which is more than can be said about some 
    instro acts...does this bring up a certain female 3-piece???

FERENC DOBRONYI: I feel like my long response would take us way off course 
    into the question of what is "punk", so I'll just say that yes, of course 
    low-fi bands have a place, they obviously bring their fans (and there are 
    loads of fans!) great joy.

COSMIK DEBRIS: Let's talk a bit about what got you all here.  What were the 
    experiences that led you to be players?  And to be SURF musicians, at 
    that!  I mean, that's not the beaten path, by any means.

JOHN BLAIR: In my case, surf music WAS the first style of music I ever 
    played.  I learned how to play guitar by listening to surf records in 
    the 60s.  My first electric guitar was a '59 Stratocaster which I wanted 
    because Dick Dale played a Strat.  "Surfer's Choice" and The Challengers' 
    "Surf Beat" were among the very first records I ever bought; I learned 
    how to play every song on those records. I was inspired by the recordings,
    but also by local bands like the Esquires ("Flashin' Red/What A Burn"; 
    they went to my high school), The Dynamic Five (who didn't make any 
    records but were a great local band), and Conrad & The Hurricane Strings 
    ("Hurricane").  My first band was in high school; we called ourselves 
    The Intruders.  I'm sure we were horrible.  I kept at it though, playing 
    with a psychedelic rock band in the late 60s (The Columbia Bicycle), a 
    Top 40 copy band for a few months in 1971 or 72, and finally rhythm 
    guitar in Ray Campi's Rockabilly Rebels for a short while in the mid-70s.  
    All the while, I never strayed far from surf music (except for a 
    non-electric period during and after college when I fell in with a 
    bluegrass crowd and would frequently find myself playing acoustic guitar 
    in jam sessions at parties -- I even played rhythm guitar on an obscure 
    1973 bluegrass album by some husband/wife duo from Missouri).  However, 
    I kept collecting surf music recordings over the years, building up a
    sizeable collection of vinyl, and kept playing surf guitar licks every 
    chance I got.  The story behind Jon & The Nightriders has been told in 
    print before (and in detail in the liner notes to our 1994 "Banished To 
    The Beach" anthology CD).  We formed in late 1979 and are back together 
    now (and recording) after a lengthy dormancy period.  In a way, this is 
    the band I didn't have back in the 60s when I wanted a good surf band 
    the most.  It's been great fun and it ain't over yet!!

DAVID ARNSON: When I was six years old my parents bought The Beach Boys 
    "Surfin' USA" album.  The album is notable because five of the twelve 
    songs were instrumental!  Their version of "Miserlou," "Let's Go 
    Trippin'," "Honky Tonk," and their own "Stoked" and "Surf Jam" definitely 
    and deeply effected my early consciousness.  Also, my dad (who was into 
    motorcycles) bought the album "Black Boots and Bikes," by The Kickstands, 
    who were essentially a Beach Boys style band who sang about motorcycles 
    instead of surfing.  They too played fifty percent instrumentals.  I 
    seriously thought that The Kickstands were as big as The Beach Boys, 
    Beatles or Stones!  The liner notes stating, "You'll be hearing a lot 
    more from this band!" haunted and taunted me for years.  I have always 
    loved rock instrumentals but didn't find out about Dick Dale, Link Wray 
    and The Ventures until the late seventies.  It was the discovery of
    Davie Allan and The Arrows and his mutant meld of surf and psychedelic 
    fuzz instros that finally pushed me over the edge to start The Insect 
    Surfers band in the summer of 1979.  The CBGB/New York punk rock 
    explosion around 1976 (Patti Smith, Ramones, Television, Cramps, etc.) 
    really inspired me to make my own music.  I wanted a band that would 
    combine the cool dual guitars of Tom Verlaine's Television with the 
    energy of The Ramones. By digging into the surf instrumental past I 
    found the perfect medium to express myself on guitar.

BERNARD YIN: The spirit of a good melody and the excitement it can create 
    when delivered with a twangy guitar is truly magic. I think of the James 
    Bond theme, Spaghetti Westerns, Dick Dale, Link Wray. It's not bubble gum 
    safe, it's not excessively sophisticated musically, it has a primal feel 
    yet it's classy.  Did I miss anything?!?!  Simpler guitar lines allowed 
    me to not be intimidated by the instrument and encouraged me to 
    concentrate on the feel and pleasure. By not being intimidating it's 
    therefore better for one's psychological health [as a musician]!
    I love surfing and I am fascinated by beach culture and the surf/
    California etc. mystique. To have it supplemented by music which is not 
    stupid is something for which one can be proud. Surf/Instro type music, 
    to me, is one of the finest forms of music which ever can be claimed as 
    being highly rooted in the good ol' USA. It's a rare moment for me to 
    find a place where some twisted patriotism and "art" mix.  There's more 
    but it is 30 pages long.

MEL WALDORF:  I got interested in surf music through the hot rod tie in.  We 
    had a station wagon that I used to take out driving, even before I had   
    my license, and I had this Ventures cassette that I played constantly.  
    I used to drag race my wagon, and I always did best with the Ventures 
    in the deck.  So fairly early on, I was captivated by the power, and 
    the spirit of the music.  When I picked up guitar, "Walk Don't Run" was 
    one of the first tunes I tried to play.  After playing in other styles 
    of music for years, I found myself returning to the music that turned 
    my onto guitar in the first place.  

ALLEN WHITMAN: I love music.  My father sings 2nd bass (the lowest human 
    register in the choir)  I sang soprano when I was little and when I was 
    11 I heard electric bass in a church and that was IT!  I love to play.  
    I'll play with anyone who can groove.  I've done top-40, 6-piece 
    uniformed disco show bands on the Jersey shore, "rock of the 80's
    (english accent)" bands, I played with Helios Creed, the Ink Spots, 
    blues, country, and dinosaur rock one nighters...I'm a total musical 
    whore.  I happened to be working with Jim Thomas and it was a total 
    accident.  Just my luck.

RICK JOHNSON: In the late 70's Joe (sax), Kevin (bass) and I (guitar) were 
    surfing a lot.  Riding old longboards, wearing old thrift shop trunks. 
    Really into the endless summer thing. We also started collecting old 
    surf records. You could get them for less than a buck then. We were into 
    the whole early 60's package. So we started playing the music too. Also, 
    lucky for us, we started buying our vintage equipment then too. I got my 
    first Jaguar for $200, my first reverb unit for $150. You won't see deals 
    like that anymore. We played our first gig in a club as the Halibuts in 
    '82, opening for Davy Allan and the Arrows. We've been playing surf music 
    together for about 15 years now.

FERENC DOBRONYI: My first exposure to surf music came in 1979 from the Johnny 
    Thunders album SO ALONE where he covers Pipeline. I was just learning how 
    to play guitar, so (like half the kids in America) this is one of the 
    first songs I learned to play. Then I heard the original version of 
    Pipeline in the movie "The Warriors", and that sound really knocked me 
    out!! So I went to the library (!) and checked out a few of those cheap 
    surf-sound compilations and went to work on all the other instro 
    standards. I have played in bands fairly consistently since then, but no 
    one ever shared my interest in surf music. I had known Jono (the other 
    Pollo Del Mar guitarist) for about 3 years before we talked about our 
    interest in surf. It was like a big secret that we weren't aloud to talk 
    about. But we decided to get a band together and voila, joy and 
    incredible happiness. Like John Blair said, this is the band I've wanted 
    to put together since High School. 

TODD DAMNIT: How did I come to be playin' such a dire form of rock and roll? 
    Since I was born on the set of Hee Haw entertainment is in my blood. As 
    a child I had the Ventures' rec, batman and dug the swingin' beat. It 
    was not until 1983 that I became snagged by the surf beat when I first 
    heard the Astronauts and that insane CLICK! Shortly thereafter I got my 
    first bass (rhymes with mass) and have been trying to learn how to play 
    ever since. It is commitment and a healthy since of humor that keeps me 
    and my combo movin'.

COSMIK DEBRIS: Besides the people involved in this interview, who are 
    the players out there now that people should be checking out?
   
ALLEN WHITMAN: The Woodies (in the SF/Bay Area) play an honest music...

RICK JOHNSON: Down here in LA, my current favorite is the Hillbilly Soul 
    Surfers. Dave Sherman plays hot damn rockabilly instrumentals and I 
    think I've learned a thing or two from him about having a good time on 
    stage.

DAVID ARNSON:  HA! I think you should check out as many players as possible.  
    I'm terminally open minded. My tastes range from classical Chinese and 
    Arabic music to Sonic Youth. I have really found something to like in 
    all surf music today.  I would be sure to check out Shadowy Men on a 
    Shadowy Planet, Galaxy Trio, The Reventlos and Davie Allan and the 
    Arrows, in addition to all the interviewee's bands here.  Be sure to 
    look for Tom Verlaine's 1992 solo instrumental cd on Rykodisc called 
    "Warm and Cool."  It's got some amazing deep reverbed twanging as well 
    as some incredible atmospheric stuff.  Way cool.  The guitarist for the 
    early 80's band Pylon, Randy Bewlay, (from Athens, Georgia) had an 
    incredible ear for the twangin' riff.  He was a little heavier in style 
    than the B52's late great Ricky Wilson, who I consider a rhythm guitar 
    genius as much as I do Keith Richards.  

FERENC DOBRONYI: I can't say enough good things about The Aqua-Velvets. Their
    latest CD is just great. Not exactly surf, but wow, what great guitar 
    tones and song arrangements.  Also right up there are The Ultras. Great 
    guitar and great sense of humor.  Their guitar player "Sludge", teaches 
    at a music store in my neighborhood, and after 18 years of playing, I 
    still think about taking some lessons from this guy. 

MEL WALDORF: I agree with Ferenc that the Ultras are worth checking out.  
    Sludge is quite a guitar player, and the band has a really cool almost 
    be-bop feel tossed into the mix.  Also, Huevos Rancheros, from Calgary, 
    are way cool.  They're a supercharged instro rockabilly band, more in 
    the realm of Link Wray than Dick Dale.  However, to mention any set of 
    bands leaves out sa many other cool bands...Will Rogers never met a man 
    he didn't like; I think it's the same for surf bands.
  
ALLEN WHITMAN: That's good...I have to agree with that.  The music is 
    friendly.

BERNARD YIN: I think I'll sing praises of Los Angeles' "Pink Floyd The 
    Barber".  They feature, first to mind, the percussion crazy [on drums] 
    from the Bonedaddys and Paul on guitar from The Underthings and many 
    other projects. They have a musicality which amazes me and they really 
    have fun. One song is a very clever Tango with a beautiful guitar melody 
    to die for. They are instrumental music. Paul also plays wicked Hawaiian 
    flavored Lap Steel.  Hmmm. Let's see if any other cats come to mind .... 
    The Trashwomen's guitarist [female] plays, in my opinion. with dexterity 
    and verve. I feel this way because I couldn't get near the stage when 
    they were last in LA so I was FORCED to simply "Listen" and it was great.
    San Francisco's "Pineapple Princess" manages to amplify two Ukeleles and
    create a racket ... and it all is rather entertaining.  There's a 
    homeless guy near my house whose bluesy ramblings are pretty amazing ... 
    and another homeless guy who walks around playing the melody lines to 
    folk songs for the tourists on a Fender Mustang. Jim Mankey of Concrete 
    Blonde feathers his tremelo rather surfy and enjoys a rather unique tone.
    I need a drink ...

JOE EMERY: 2 guitarists really come to mind for me.  One is local (Austin, 
    TX) guitarist Herman the German.  This guy is a phenomenal - if a little 
    bit loco - guitarist.  He plays polkas and tangos with a killer 
    assortment of Gretsch guitars.  He also sings old rockabilly songs with 
    his thick german accent, which is funny.  But his playing is very Django 
    Reinhardt sounding - lots of killer Euro-jazz influence, revved up.
    Another guy that blows me away is James Calvin Wilsey, Chris Isaak's 
    lead guitarist up until his most recent album.  This guy takes Hank 
    Marvin's sound and blends it perfectly with Isaak's dreamy songs, 
    especially on the albums "Silvertone" and "Chris Isaak."

ALLEN WHITMAN: Oh yeah, THAT guy is GREAT.  He is almost single-handedly 
    responsible for Chris Isaak's early success.  Listen to the guitar 
    featured on "Wicked Game".  I haven't seen him around for awhile and 
    wonder where he is.

PEPPER WILSON:  I have to second Joe on this one.  Herman the German is 
    relatively unknown (as far as I know, have any of you guys heard of him?)
    but a unique and talented player.  He has an album out on the Helsinki 
    label, Texacali, but I do not know about its distribution.  He doesn't 
    tour either, so he has remained a local gem.  Check him out.

FERENC DOBRONYI: How could I forget to mention The Galaxy Trio. Their 10"er 
    is A++, with a cool cover of the classic(al) Fur Elise. Also, from 
    Japan, check out Jackie & The Cedrics. I don't know what a Cedric is, 
    but these guys are very studied in surf classicisms and brimming with 
    energy.

JOHN BLAIR: Anybody playing surf instrumentals!  All of it's worth a listen.  
    In particular, I was pretty knocked out by Evan's playing on The Boss 
    Martian's "XKE."  Very tasteful.  I've also been really enjoying the 
    guitars on The Blue Hawaiians' latest CD, "Live At The Tiki Lounge."  
    An enjoyable sound and nice playing.

ALLEN WHITMAN: Oh, oh, oh!  I forgot to mention:  "Shig and Buzz"  their CD 
    (Double Diamonds) has a tasty, warm sound to it.  And all originals, too!

TODD DAMNIT: Who else should every living soul be tuning in to?   The 
    Finnish four-piece, the Quiets, make life more complete. Huevos 
    Rancheros kick up a bunch of dust here in my trailer as does Mr. 
    Jr. Brown. While they have been at it for about ten years, Southern 
    Culture on the Skids know the value of a beefy surf blaster. Otherwise, 
    I spend most of my listening time wading thru the mire created by the 
    two guitar punishers in my combo, trying to hold that liquor down.

COSMIK DEBRIS: Well, that looks like as good a place as any to take a break.
    Thanks, everyone.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

      Be with us next month for part 2 of The Great Surf Summit, when the
 guys will be joined by legendary surf dj Phil Dirt and Man Or Astro-Man
 bassist Coco The Electronic Monkey Wizard.  See you then!

 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------
  
	   L A B E L L E D :  V i t a l   M u s i c   R e c o r d s  
  
  An interview with Tom Cassar  
  By DJ Johnson

       Tom Cassar has been there and back.  He's an outstanding musician who
  has played with The Waxmen, Rats Of Unusual Size and The Sea Monkeys, to
  name just a few.  In 1989, Cassar and a few partners formed Vital Music
  Records, a label which puts out some of the best, and often most unusual, 
  music the indie scene has to offer.  One of the releases that falls in the  
  "unusual" catagory is "Tommy (In 7 Minutes)."  11 bands performed The Who's
  classic in miniature, and the result was one of the most entertaining 7's
  ever recorded.  Add to this such classic recordings as Iron Prostate's
  "Bring Me The Head Of Jerry Garcia," Ween's "I'm Fat," and Nutley Brass'
  7 inch EP, which features 4 Ramones classics done elevator style, and you 
  start to get the Vital picture.  On top of all this, Cassar runs Vital 
  Music Mailorder, distributing not only his label's catalog, but other 
  releases as well.  We caught up with the busy Mr. Cassar and tied him 
  down long enough to give us this interview.  Future label owners, take 
  good notes.
  
  -----------------------------------------------------------------------
  
  Cosmic Debris:  Where are you from, Tom?
   
  Tom Cassar: I grew up outside of Philadelphia, PA, and left high school 
      at 15 to go to Tyler School of Art at Temple University in Philly.
      After finishing school, the job situation was poor in Philadelphia 
      so I came to New York and have been here for the last 12 years.
  
  CD: Tell me a little bit about your musical background.
  
  TC: I had been singing in bands for years and eventually took up guitar as 
      well.  I hooked up with a bassist, started doing demos and eventually 
      we added a drummer and started playing frequently around NYC.  At that 
      point, in the early 80's, music began to take up a major part of my 
      life and I started getting involved with the NY punk/noise/scum 
      community through playing shows and recording.  
   
  CD: And that led to Vital Music Records?
  
  TC: The label was formed on Feb 7, 1989 by myself and two partners.  I had 
      just recorded the second LP for my band, The Waxmen, and the label we 
      were on didn't have enough capital to press it.  Both my partners had 
      releases ready to go at the same time so we decided to start the label 
      to give us a vehicle to get our releases out.  
      
  CD: Was the mail order aspect in place at that time?
  
  TC: At this point the mailorder did not exist.  With a label there is a 
      certain amount of mailorder involved but it really took off in the 
      last 2 years when I started a separate company to do just mailorder.
      By the end of this year I will be the sole proprietor of both the Vital 
      Music Records and Vital Music Mailorder when I buy out my remaining 
      partner.
  
  CD: Does it get pretty hairy trying to run both companies at once?
  
  TC: Financially, it is hell, as for accounting purposes I have to keep both 
      separate.  If the mailorder sells Vital releases I have to invoice the 
      mailorder and keep track of phone calls, divide rent, utilities etc. I 
      may fuse them into one company when the label becomes a sole 
      proprietorship.

  CD: Who were the first bunch of bands you dealt with?
  
  TC: The first 3 releases were The Waxmen's "Slick View" LP, Rats of 
      Unusual Size's "Ratzilla" LP, and Braindrops' "Andrenalin Mother" 
      12" EP.

  CD: How did everything come off in the beginning?  Was it a smooth 
      operation, or did you have a lot to learn?
  
  TC: It went a lot easier than it does now, even having more knowledge 
      and experience than when I started.  Then, the majors were pretty 
      much out of the alternative music business, and college radio would 
      embrace new independent releases because there was less stuff being 
      sent to them.  Now there are so many releases going to college radio 
      with promotion people schmoozing them with free tickets, T-shirts, 
      multiple copies of releases etc.  It's hard for a little label to 
      compete with that.  The first 3 releases we did all charted on 
      college charts without much more than sending promo out.  Now, I 
      don't even bother looking for them on the main charts unless it is 
      a particularly strong release.
     
  CD: Let's talk about the Dumbrock series.  I hate to admit it, but I've 
      only got the Tommy record, which I think was Dumbrock #5, wasn't it?  
      What are the other records in that series?
  
  TC: Actually, the numbering is a bit of a prank.  Volume one was a 
      compilation CD put out by Celluloid Records, then the Volume 5.  The 
      next will be a Dumbrock Vol 9 & 10 (the disco years), a double 7" comp 
      of disco songs.  It's recorded already and is due out in a few months, 
      if I can get the artwork from my estranged partner.

  CD: Is the Celluloid release still available? 

  TC: It never was widely available, as Celluloid never did much more than 
      do promo and get it to their distributors.  I don't recommend it, 
      particularly.  It has its good tracks, but as a whole, it is a dog.

  CD: Do you sign bands to record exclusively for Vital, or do you just sign 
      bands to make specific records?
  
  TC: Most all of the releases that Vital Music Records has done are one 
      record deals rather than signing bands exclusively.  I try to do a 
      good enough job with a release so that a band would want to do 
      something with me again.
  
  CD: I need to ask this question on behalf of all the unknown bands 
      bashing away in their garages.  What is the best way for a band
      like that to get your attention? 
  
  TC: Put out a release on your own and work hard to get it in magazines 
      and play out as much as possible to support it.  I get literally 
      hundreds of tapes, records, and CDs as demos. The ones I tend to 
      notice are ones that I have heard of before or are already in 
      finished form.
  
  CD: What would you say your first big success was?
  
  TC: The first major success was the "We Three Bings Trash Xmas" compilation 
      LP we did which sold out 2 pressing in about 2 weeks.  I plan to 
      repress it on CD with bonus tracks as well as on vinyl with a bonus 7".

  CD: I discovered your label by browsing the World Wide Web on the Internet. 
      I can't remember where I found your catalog, but it must have been 
      fairly easy to find. Would you say the Internet has helped your 
      business?
  
  TC: It has helped the mailorder considerably, as approximately 30% of all 
      orders initiate on the Internet.  It is also a good vehicle to
      correspond with labels, as well as keep in touch with what's new on 
      the underground level.  I am a subscriber to a few mailing lists that 
      constantly have unsolicited reviews of shows and records, as well as 
      other information which is useful due to the fact that it is observed 
      from the grass root level.
  
  CD: Do you have any plans to set up a World Wide Web site for Vital?
  
  TC: It is very much on the top of my lists of things to do.  The problem 
      has been that I have been so busy with keeping up with things as it is 
      that time to set up the site is short.  I'm still basically a one man 
      operation.
  
  CD: Are the financial returns from the label enough to keep it going?  Or  
      does the mailorder take up the slack? 
  
  TC: The problem with running a record label is cash flow.  Many 
      distributors are slow to pay and often I have to front money to 
      get a new release out before the previous one is paid for.  I have 
      recently cut a lot of distributors free in favor of selling more 
      direct to customers through the mailorder and direct to stores.  
      There was a period a few years ago when several releases in a row 
      didn't sell as well as planned, but the last dozen or so have done 
      well.  The mailorder doesn't as much pick up the slack as allow for 
      a steady flow of cash to ensure releases aren't delayed and represses 
      can be done even if distributors owe money.  It is my goal to have 
      sales from mailorder and direct-to-stores be enough to eliminate all 
      but the most reliable distributors.  I should get to that point in 
      the next 2 years or so if things keep growing as they have been.
  
  CD: What is The Label Alliance all about?
  
  TC: The Label Alliance is an organization that promotes and distributes 
      independent records by grouping promotions, ads, storage, and freight.  
      So far, I have handled a dozen or so releases by 6 NYC labels saving 
      the labels money, labor and optimizing promo effectiveness by combining 
      many mailing lists.
  
  CD: What have been the prime moments or achievements for Vital Music 
      so far? 
  
  TC: I would say the most important releases Vital has done to date have 
      been the Tommy (in 7 minutes) 7", the Ween - I'm Fat 7", The Ramones 
      Songbook (as played by the Nutley Brass) 7".  There have been many 
      that have done as well or better, including 7"s by Alice Donut, The 
      Mr. T Experience, Karen Black, and others.  Just surviving has been 
      an achievement seeing as how so many labels and distributors have 
      disappeared just since I started in '89.
  
  CD: "Tommy" must have been a blast to make.  Can you tell us the story of 
      the recording sessions for that and for "You Know My Name?"
  
  TC: The Tommy sessions were produced by my partner Jim Fourniadis along 
      with Andy Maltz (Sea Monkeys).  The whole record consisted of many 
      short songs done separatedly in the studio which were mixed down to 
      one 16 track tape for final mixing.  The last track had about a dozen 
      musicians playing in an all star band which we called The See Me, 
      Feel Me Orchestra.  The You Know My Name side was done similarly 
      though with only 4 parts.  It happened remarkably quickly with only 
      one track not working which was redone.  The real time was spent in 
      preproduction figuring out how to keep it under 7 minutes as well as 
      scheduling 16 bands to record!
  
  CD: I understand the See Me Feel Me Orchestra had a great guitarist by 
      the name of Cassar.  I think you played acoustic bass on the Rats Of 
      Unusual Size cut, too, if I'm not mistaken.  Was there a point along 
      the way when you all realized you were making something great and 
      different?
  
  TC: I think when the idea was conceived we knew that it had the potential 
      of being something special.  There was also a great chance that it 
      would be disastrous, and we actually had one song redone by another 
      band because it didn't work.  The artwork was a mess at one point but 
      myself and Dave the Spazz from the Sea Monkeys rescued it and did it 
      over from scratch.

  CD: Do you get to grab a guitar and get your ya-ya's out very often, or 
      have you pretty much stepped over to the business side full time?
  
  TC: I play bass in 2 bands right now, Sea Monkeys and The Haney Brothers. 
      Both are actively recording and playing out.  It can be hairy at times 
      and sometimes I find myself groaning when told of a new gig, which 
      is a sad thing.    
  
  CD: What plans do you have for the future of the label? 
  
  TC: I plan to finish the singles club to VMS-30.  We have 6 more releases 
      with only 3 signed. (Ed: Tom says "no, don't send me tapes!!!")  
      I have several full lengths in the works including the Xmas comp 
      repress and a "Greatest Hits of the Singles Club" CD.  There will also
      be a new series of 7's called "Cut Out The Middle Man," which will only
      be available by mailorder at low prices.
  
  CD: When you say "finish the singles club to VMS-30," what do you mean?  
  
  TC: The singles club started in 1990 and is a series of limited edition 
      color vinyl 7"s which people subscribe to, kind of like book of the 
      month.  VMS-30 will be the 30th release in the club.  Right now we are 
      up to VMS-23.

  CD: Are there any "the one that got away" stories? 
  
  TC: There are some but none that I regret as there are always new bands 
      to sign.  As long as I stay alive and making records I like I'll be 
      happy.  We did have the opportunity to do the Negativeland- U2 record, 
      but they wanted to do it as a 12" rather that as a singles club 
      release.  That would have been fun!!  There are others which never 
      came to be that could have made money, but some of them I didn't end 
      up liking musically anyway.
  
  CD: Are there times, with a family of four, that "liking the music" is 
      only a luxury?
  
  TC: I never have counted on the label for pocket money.  My wife works 4 
      days a week and I play homemaker and moonlite doing the label and 
      mailorder.  But lately both the label and mailorder have been 
      contributing at least in paying off past investment. It's not a 
      casual hobby though.  I put in more than 40 hours a week doing this, 
      often in the wee hours.
  
  CD: What's the story of The Nutley Brass and Vital?
  
  TC: The Nutley Brass did a cassette compilation of NYC bands, mostly to 
      flatter the bands, all of whom were friends.  It was such a good record 
      that I hooked them up to do the Ramones 7", and Shimmy Disc just did a 
      full length as well.  Currently, the reaction to both has been so good 
      that I have at least one more project planned.

  CD: Were you somewhat surprised that a record of elevator versions of punk
      classics sold that well? 
  
  TC: Not at all.  It had a built-in fan base, like any tribute record.  As 
      long as it was executed well I knew it would do OK, at least enough 
      to pay for the pressing and recording.
  
  CD: What are the current hot projects? 
  
  TC: More Nutley Brass!!  Also the Dumbrock Vol 9 & 10 (the Disco Years) 
      double 7" which features Alice Donut, Sea Monkeys, Wives, Dogbowl, and 
      more, as well as a new Sea Monkeys 7" 5 song EP called "From Bowery to 
      Bagdad".
  
  CD: The Wives record you just released is great.  I've been spinning it to
      death.  Have you got any plans for a full length LP with them?
  
  TC: Go Kart Records, who just did the latest Lunachicks LP, beat me to 
      it.  Go Kart did the CD, and vinyl will be handled by Reservoir.  
      It is great, and as with most releases that I missed out on, I just 
      carry them in the mailorder.  

  CD: One last question.  What advice would you give to anyone out there 
      who has a notion to start his or her own label?
  
  TC: I did whole article for Punk Planet fanzine on this, and I'm working 
      on a book about that very subject.  Wow, in short I would say start 
      small, work with bands that will be active in helping you promote and 
      sell, don't over advertise, don't give too much stock to one 
      distributor...I could go on forever.  If anyone wants a copy of the 
      article I'm more than happy to send a copy.  

  --------------------------------------------------------------------------
  Tom Cassar can be contacted by sending email to grape@panix.com, or by
  sending good ol' fashioned mail to VITAL MUSIC RECORDS, PO BOX 20247, NYC,
  NY 10028-0052.
  --------------------------------------------------------------------------

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 ==========================================================================

      Cosmik Debris' record reviews are written by Platterpuss, Steve 
      Marshall and DJ Johnson.  
      
			
			    *        *        *


 BADFINGER - Best Of (Apple Records)

     At first dismissed by some as a cheap imitation of The Beatles, 
 Badfinger has created some of the finest pop songs ever to grace the 
 airwaves. With such songs as the Paul McCartney-penned "Come and Get It", 
 "Day After Day", "Baby Blue" and "No Matter What", the band had several 
 top 10 hits.
     However, they achieved their biggest success on the heels of Harry 
 Nilsson.  Nilsson covered "Without You" from the "No Dice" album in 1972 
 and turned it into a #1 hit worldwide. It was at this point that Badfinger 
 began to gain more acceptance as songwriters.
     In 1972, the band recorded what many consider their finest work, 
 "Straight Up". Produced by Todd Rundgren and George Harrison, songs from 
 "Straight Up" make up 1/3 of the 21 tracks on the new CD. Songs from all 
 four original albums on Apple are present on "The Best of Badfinger", 
 along with the US single mix of "Baby Blue".
     Digitally mastered from the original two-track master tapes, songs 
 like "Believe Me" and "Apple Of My Eye" (the last single to be released 
 on The Beatles' label in 1974) sound better than ever. Andy Davis of 
 Record Collector magazine contributes a well-researched essay on the band 
 in the CD's booklet as well. "The Best Of Badfinger" is a fine 
 representation of the band's material on Apple.  (Steve Marshall)

	 
     *   HALLOWEEN SPECIAL REVIEW  *

 BLACK SABBATH - "Black Sabbath" - 1970, Warner Brothers
     
     The first time I heard this record, I was twelve, and I was spending the
 night at a friend's house.  His parents were gone, my parents thought we were
 supervised, and it was the Halloween season.  We scared the hell out of each
 other by exchanging ghost stories for a few hours, and then he said "Hey,
 ever heard Sabbath?"  Two pair of headphones were produced, and the volume
 was cranked, and what I heard for the next 40 minutes or so scared me MUCH
 more than the ghost stories had.   From the opening thunder storm to the 
 closing powerchord, I sat motionless, watching the blacklight play tricks
 with the posters in my friend's room.  When it was over and the lights were
 on again, I saw the goosebumps on my arms.  
     A few decades and about a million listens later, I still get those
 goosebumps when I hear this album.  Part of it is the reverb.  There are   
 so many words that can describe reverb, because there are so many TYPES of
 reverb.  That's a long story, so just trust me.  The reverb on this album
 is icy!  It surrounds you in your imagination as you run from the devil 
 across headstones and dead leaves, with lightning flashing and rain pouring,
 and that sinister church bell... Brrr!  It still creeps me out, which I like.
 Iron Maiden tried to give off the same vibes, but in the end, only their 
 album covers managed it.  Years later, Ozzy Osbourne went solo, made some 
 very successful records and did his campy horror show act around the world.  
 And it was kinda cool.  But it WAS camp.  A send-up of the real thing.  And 
 the "real thing" was Black Sabbath. - DJ

	
 
 CEE CEE BEAUMONT - Prestressed (Damaged Goods)
    
    With the exception of the occasional scream, shout or what have you,
 this 2-song, vinyl-only elpee is strictly instrumental. However, unlike
 a lot of instrumental bands who stick mostly to surf music and end up
 sounding pretty ho-hum before too long, this is pure, dirty, sweaty
 primitive garage music at its sleaziest and most vital. Hell, these guys
 just get in there and bash away like there's no tomorrow. I'm not gonna
 get into specif songs 'cause no matter where I drop the needle, this thing
 stomps and kicks like an ornery mule on steroids. If loud, fast, totally
 punked-out garage music is your thing, this is definitely right up your
 alley.
(PO Box 671,  London E17 6NF,  UK) - The Platterpuss


 
 CHOPPER - Madhouse On Castle Street  (Big Deal)
    
    This is their 3rd full-length album and it seems that with each new
 release they move further away from their rockin' pop roots and more into
 singer/songwriter territory. Chopper has always mostly been the work of
 two guys Steven Deal and Robert Dietrich and I get the feeling that I
 could easily be listening to their respective solo albums. While it's
 not ususally my favorite kind of thing, this is actually some rather
 pleasant listening. I think I like Steven Deal's songs such as "Run Away",
 "Snake Lake" and "When I Call For You" better as they still retain more
 of the Beatlesque flavor that I used to really like about these guys. On
 the other hand, Dietrich's voice has a kind of Dylany quality that I'm
 not all that fond of. So, while this is not the most exciting music I've
 ever heard, it's still kinda pretty and deserving of the old thumbs up.
 (PO Box 2072,  Peter Stuyvesant Station,  NYC NY 10009) (The Platterpuss)


 
 88 FINGERS LOUIE - Totin' 40s & Fuckin' Shit Up  (Rocco)
    
    Fans of melodic punk and hardcore will really like this 9-song
 10-incher. Their lyrics deal with many of the same problems of most
 classic punk rock - lousy jobs, messed-up relationships, and just a
 general who-gives-a-flying-fuck type attitude. While, at this point in
 my life I'm a bit too settled in to fully relate to these feelings on a
 full-time basis, there are still those days when nothing else will do.
 (PO Box 14781,  Chicago Il 60614-0781) - The Platterpuss
 

 
 EMOTE - "Suborganic" - CD on Emote Records. 4364 Bonita Rd. #248, 
			Bonita, CA, 91950

      I got hold of the 1st release by these guys - a record called 
 "Overflow" - about four months ago.  I have to admit, I thought I
 had been transported back in time to around 1983.  Not to the good
 part, either.  It was so slick, it slipped out of my CD changer and
 hasn't been heard from since.  There was a letter with the CD that
 said they were concerned it was overproduced.  
      Okay, so like HEY!  HOW IMPORTANT IS IT NOT TO OVERPRODUCE???
 Anyone?  Well, let's put it this way.  I just got the NEW Emote CD
 in the mail.  I dutifully put it in the changer...and it stayed on.
 It stayed on because these guys are good!  I had no idea.  The guitar,
 with no processing at all, as far as I can tell, jumps in your face
 to stay.  And the vocals!!  I hadn't even noticed the vocals on the 
 first album.  They sounded...like 1983.  Where Overflow had no power,
 Suborganic has ALL power.  Where Overflow overflew, Suborganic shores up.
 They were very smart to include a track that was on Overflow.  It's
 called "Your Voice Still Haunts Me," a song which bored me on the first
 record and jumps at me on the new one.  Well, guess what I figured out
 the 5th or 6th time through.  It's the exact same recording as the one on
 Overflow.  Remixed!  DE-Produced!  Raw.
      Don't get me wrong, there are a few ho hum songs on Suborganic, but
 even those have something.  Melody.  A dirty word, in some circles, but
 this is what I'd call power pop verging on melodic punk, and in that genre,  
 the ability to write memorable melodies counts for a lot.  And something
 else stands out here.  Harmony.  Same story.  I don't think I'm going too
 far out on a limb to say these guys from Bonita, California, were influenced
 by Cheap Trick.  That influence is well taken.  "If You Want Me Gone" is
 a great example of this.  "That Little Girl" is another.  My favorite track
 is "Prisoner."  I love the lyric...
  
     "You don't have to act so codependant
      You don't have to tell me you're the only girl in the world
      I'm your prisoner.  Life away from you.
      You're my sentence.  Judge and jury too.
      I'm your prisoner, you're my prisoner too."

      If you love a good melodic power-pop-verging-on-punk band, check out
 Emote.  In fact, I happen to have their e-mail address: diode@diode.com.
 Since the CD is on their own label, I'm guessing that that address will lead 
 you to a copy.  - (DJ Johnson)


 
 GIGANTOR - It's Gigantic! (Lost & Found)
    
    Fans of the Dickies brand of fun, melodic punk & roll will just love
 this German quintet who've named themselves after one of their heroes'
 best songs. This is actually a collection of singles and compilation tracks
 recorded over the last few years. Like The Dickies, these guys have a 
 penchent for covering other peoples' songs and here they've borrowed tunes 
 by The Ramones, Husker Du, ELO and The Misfits among others and given them
 their own special treatment. Their originals are in much the same vein -
 loud, fast, not too serious and catchy as hell. I can't recommend this
 highly enough. (Bunteweg 1,  30900 Wedemark,  GERMANY) - The Platterpuss

 
 
 CAPITOL REISSUES CLASSIC GRAND FUNK CDS

     On August 15th, Capitol began the task of reissuing the classic albums 
 one of America's most commercially successful bands of the late '60's and 
 early 70's -- Grand Funk Railroad. Starting with 1971's excellent "E Pluribus 
 Funk", Capitol is digitally remastering the band's entire catalog, minus the 
 compilation albums. Included in the series are the two best-selling Todd 
 Rundgren-produced albums "We're an American Band" and "Shinin' On" (which 
 featured Rundgren on guitar on "Carry Me Through").
     Though they were almost unanimously panned by critics, those who 
 witnessed the band in concert knew they were destined for greatness. 
 Alternative country rockers The Jayhawks did a cover of GFR's "Bad Time" on 
 their latest CD. Legend has it that Prince named his first band, Grand 
 Central, in homage to Grand Funk.
     Never before available on CD in the US, "E Pluribus Funk" contains some 
 of the band's best material -- the concert opener "Footstompin' Music", 
 "Upsetter", and the epic track "Loneliness". Though the original artwork and 
 lyrics from the original album are intact on "E Pluribus", the remaster is 
 not without its flaws -- there is a lot of hiss on the CD. It's too bad that 
 there wasn't more care taken in the mastering process on this one. Musically, 
 "E Pluribus" is one of their best albums and a favorite among fans.
     Capitol did a much better job with the second title in the series -- one 
 of the greatest live albums of all time -- "Caught in the Act". Long out of 
 print, "Caught in the Act" contains energetic renditions of the band's 
 biggest hits up to that time, as well as a few album tracks thrown in to keep 
 things interesting.
     This marks the second reissue of "Caught in the Act" for Capitol. The 
 first one edited some of the songs from the original 1975 double album to fit 
 on a single CD. The introduction to Black Licorice is restored on the new
 reissue, as is the fade-in introduction to Heartbreaker.  Unfortunately, even 
 without the time constraint of an album side to deal with, Capitol still has 
 not seen fit to release the CD with "Closer to Home" segueing into "Heart-
 breaker" as originally performed. "T.N.U.C." remains in its edited form on 
 the reissue as well. On the positive side -- the cover art from the original 
 album has been restored, and the sound quality on the new CD is excellent.
      With the Capitol reissues, new fans will now be able to discover one of 
 America's most influential bands -- Grand Funk Railroad.  (Steve Marshall)



 HEART - The Road Home

     The potential for Heart's new live acoustic CD was limitless. Recorded 
 over 5 nights at a small club in Seattle, the Wilson sisters perform 
 "unplugged" versions of several of their hits, along with a few select 
 cover songs as well. Produced by ex-Led Zeppelin bassist John Paul Jones
 (who also performs on the CD), sound quality on the CD is clear & well 
 defined. The booklet contains an informative interview with both Ann and 
 Nancy regarding the songs on the CD, and how they were written.
     Musically however, Heart's new CD "The Road Home" doesn't take long to 
 disappoint. The first track, "Dreamboat Annie" gets things off to a 
 commendable start. The strings on the next track, "Dog & Butterfly" add a 
 nice touch of ambiance not achieved in the studio version. John Paul Jones 
 plays mandolin on "Back to Avalon", as well as bass and piano on selected 
 tracks.
     From there, the CD goes downhill quickly. Ann's painful take on the 
 power ballad "Alone", and the slowed-down rendition of "Crazy on You" is 
 nothing short of excruciating. Ditto for her vocal rendition of the classic 
 "Love Hurts". They should consider changing the name of the song to "My 
 Throat Hurts". On stage, Ann is still capable of hitting the notes she 
 reaches in the studio, but her voice sounds like she's in pain.
     Nancy's biggest hit with the band "These Dreams" is now hopelessly MOR, 
 as is "All I Wanna Do is Make Love to You" & the cover of Joni Mitchell's 
 "River". By the time the band gets to its tired version of "Barracuda" 
 (saved only by the guitar lick stolen from "Eight Miles High"), you're 
 fighting to stay awake. The CD wraps up with the unlisted title track, 
 "The Road Home." With its salsa-like percussion, the song sounds like a 
 Gloria Estefan throwaway. Probably the biggest disappointment of all with 
 the new CD is that there is no acoustic guitar solo by Nancy. Having 
 witnessed the band live several times in the past, Nancy's solo was always
 one of the highlights.
     Heart is still very capable of producing good music. Tone down the 
 vocals a bit, Ann. You can still rock out. "The Road Home" could have been 
 a great CD. The result however is nothing more than an exercise in 
 oversinging.  (Steve Marshall)



 THE INVALIDS - Wiseguys 7" EP - Second Guess Records, PO BOX 9382, Reno,
		NV, 89507

      I've been trying to put my finger on just who it is these guys remind
 me of.  I can't.  That means they've absorbed their influences very well,
 or else it means I just haven't heard the bands they were into when they
 were learning to play.  Either way, I really like The Invalids.  The singer,
 listed only as Scott, has a great "other" kind of voice that works well
 in their music.  The A side consists of "Quantum Leap" and "Three Chords,"
 both of which are good enough, but for me, the B side is where it's at.
 "Half Bad" is about unrequited love so painful that it's not worth pursuing.
 "And being alone doesn't seem half bad at all..."  
      My fave is the final cut, "Wiseguys," which is about two street thugs
 who become friends and, if I read it right, become the muscle on the block.

  "And they may not always be right
   But they can play cards on the sidewalk all night
   As long as Tommy doesn't make Paulie mad
   Nothin's gonna ever turn out bad
   And they can be wiseguys for the rest of their lives"
 
 Second Guess Records has a good one here.  They're the same label that is
 currently dealing with Jon Cougar Concentration Camp, so you'll probably 
 be seeing more and more of their releases.  Hopefully, there'll be some more
 Invalids records in their future, too.  (DJ Johnson)


 
 JOHNNY BRAVO - She's Been Around EP  (Lo-Mag Music)

    On this orange-coloured 3-songer these guys play medium tempo punky
 R & R that would've fit in quite nicely on the first Real Kids album. With
 all of the trendy Lollapaloser crap that's being ranmmed down our throats
 from all directions, it's gratifying to see bands like this popping up out
 out of the woodwork playing pure timeless, no-bullshit, nothing fancy
 Rock 'n' Roll.  (114 South St.,  Hingham MA 02043) - The Platterpuss
  

 
 LONE WOLVES - 7" single - Wolfcubb Records, 220 Central Park South
	       New York, NY, 10019. (212) 247-0586

      Definitely appropriate for Halloween.  Lone Wolves have a dark and
 forboding sound, from the murky guitars and distorted bass to the 
 vocals, which sound like they're sung by someone on the hunt for a neck
 to bite.  I'm not talking about slick vampire parody here, either, I'm
 talking about good old fashioned canine ripping.  
      The A-side is called "Leggo."  I'm not sure what the guy is singing,
 but that's okay.  It's not necessary, because I FEEL that he's not thinking
 pleasant thoughts and would just as soon kill me as sing to me.  I'm big
 on lyrics, usually, but I'm also an atmosphere guy.  Give me a good 
 graveyard feel and I'm into it.  This song is really scary!  
      The flip is called "Peephole," and it's more on the freakish side.
 I'm pretty sure the lyric is "I see your peephole!  I see your bloody pee!"
 MMMM! Intoxicating!  Yeah, that gets me hard.  Okay, so I flip the thing
 back over and listen to Leggo again and I'm happy.  The cover is an instant
 Halloween classic, with a drawing of the band members, decomposing rapidly
 and digging themselves out of their graves.  Or into.  Who can tell?  Who
 ya gonna ask anyway?  The artist is listed as Anonymous Boy.  Hmmm..I think
 I may have a tattoo by him.  So what do I think of it?  I'd put it on a
 Halloween party tape, that's for sure.  If you like that NYC hard-as-nails
 werewolf thing, this is a good'n.  (DJ Johnson)


 
 THE LYRES - Those Lyres (Norton)
   
   This is not really a "new" Lyres disc as, basically, whatcha got here
 are 26 tracks, the first 11 of which are a collection of singles
 released over the last couple of years such as "Boston", "Baby It's Me",
 "Shake It Some More" and "Self Centered Girl". The rest of this disc is
 a show that they did in Norway in Sept. of '93. They were in top form that
 night and the sound quality is pretty damn good, making for a fine, fun-
 filled, action packed blast as they shake and shout their way through
 some of their old and new favorites like "Jezebel", "Don't Tell Me Lies",
 "Help You Ann", "No Reason To Complain", "Sick & Tired" and "Ring Dang
 Doo". As a long-time Lyres fan I've sen Jeff Conolly im many different
 stages of fucked-upedness and, after all this time, it's gratifying to
 have him sober, healthy and sounding better than ever.
 (Box 646,  Cooper Station,  NYC NY 10003) - (The Platterpuss)

 
 
 MAN OR ASTRO-MAN? - Live Transmissions From Uranus - Homo Habilis Records,
		     PO Box 636, Auburn, Alabama 36831-0636

      Still one of my favorite bands, still kicking out...oh...about a record
 a week, it seems.  That's not quite accurate, but JEEZ, it seems like it.
 Some people are complaining, but not me.  This new live album is just what
 I wanted to hear right about now.  If you've ever seen these guys live, 
 you'll appreciate the realism here.  This IS just like one of their shows.
 Technical screw-ups, great stage chatter and sledgehammer instro's...it's
 all here.  They even throw in a couple of their well known vocal tunes,
 "Destination Venus" and "Mystery Science Theater 3000 Love Theme," which 
 they introduce as "The theme to Matlock!"  
      If you HAVEN'T seen Man Or Astro-Man on stage, this is a great way to
 make yourself want to, and hey, everyone should see them every chance they
 get, because there aren't any other live shows I know of that can generate
 the fun and pure energy of an Astro-show.  Coco, Star Crunch, Captain Zeno
 and Birdstuff kick the stuffing out of 16 songs, beginning with the re-named
 "Transmissions From Uranus" (used to be Venus) and rolling along to a climax
 with "Nitrous Burn Out."  The recording is good, the performance is even
 better, and the best part is that the fun comes through.  If these tireless
 road warriors don't happen to be playing in your town tonight, this is the
 next best thing to being there.  (DJ Johnson)



 
 MORAL CRUX - Greatest Hits  (Monitor)
   
   Generally I'm not all that crazy about mixing politics with Rock & Roll
 but there are some bands like Bad Religion, The (early) Clash and Stiff
 Little Fingers who can combine their message with enough tasty hooks so
 that I don't feel like I'm being preached to. Judging by this 22-song
 collection it would appear that Moral Crux are another one of those rare
 few bands. Songs like "Waiting For A Bomb", "Law & Order", "Stop The
 KKKlan", "Voices Of Reaction" and "Teenage Atrocity" are fueled by an
 uncompromising angry fire that's impossible to ignore yet they also know
 how to write a catchy 2 minute Rock & Roll song and can put it across in
 an entertaining yet convincing way.
 (PO Box 4906,  Berkeley CA 94704-0906) (The Platterpuss)




 CAPITOL REISSUES SIX PINK FLOYD CD'S

     Pink Floyd fans need wait no longer. Capitol has reissued & digitally 
 remastered six classic Pink Floyd albums -- Piper at the Gates of Dawn, A 
 Saucerful of Secrets, the double-disc Ummagumma, Atom Heart Mother, Meddle 
 & the milestone Dark Side of the Moon. All six have revised booklets, 
 complete with lyrics & new artwork by the band's original art designer, 
 Storm Thurgerson of Hipgnosis. In addition, each CD now has a full color 
 label reflecting elements of the new artwork.
     The band's debut album, Piper at the Gates of Dawn, features tracks 
 written mainly by guitarist and founding member Syd Barrett. The album 
 includes such classic songs as "Astronomy Domine" (played extensively on 
 the band's 1994 tour), the instrumental "Interstellar Overdrive", and 
 "Bike". Though Barrett only recorded one more album with the band, his
 vision & ideas on this album formed the foundation of what the band was 
 to become. The sound on Piper is excellent except for one passage in 
 "Chapter 24" where there is audible distortion.
     A Saucerful of Secrets, the band's second album, was the last album for 
 Barrett and the first to include "new" guitarist David Gilmour. It was also 
 the only album the band recorded with two guitarists. Barrett and Gilmour 
 only played together for about seven weeks however when Barrett left the 
 band. With tracks like "Set the Controls for the Heart of the Sun" and the 
 title track, the band's music began to grow more experimental. In July of 
 1968, Pink Floyd recorded the soundtrack to the movie More, & later the 
 score to The Committee. Hopefully, Capitol will make plans to release these, 
 as well as the soundtrack to "La Vallee", better known to Floyd fans as 
 Obscured by Clouds.
     In October of 1969, the classic double album Ummagumma was released. 
 With one live album, and a new album of studio material, Ummagumma gave 
 us what many consider the definitive version of "Careful With That Axe, 
 Eugene", as well as new songs such as "Grantchester Meadows" & "The Narrow 
 Way". The new packaging includes a 16"x19" poster of the album's cover art. 
 Also for the new CD, each disc comes with its own 16-page booklet, featuring 
 several different variations of the cover art and on one page, a 
 particularly scary picture of drummer Nick Mason.
     Atom Heart Mother marked Pink Floyd's first #1 album on the UK charts. 
 Jointly written by the band and Ron Geesin, the title track originally took 
 up a full side of an album.  Recorded with a full orchestra and choir, the 
 album attracted vast public attention upon its release. Included in the new 
 packaging is a Traditional Beaudoin Wedding Feast recipe to accompany the 
 12-minute "Alan's Psychedelic Breakfast". The sound here is markedly 
 improved over the original CD release. The orchestra on the title track is
 breathtakingly clear now. The booklet is one of the best on the series.
     The next album, Meddle, was released in 1971 to a lukewarm response from 
 the critics. However with the classic 23-minute track "Echoes" and "One of 
 These Days", it contains some of the band's most popular material to date.
 Sound quality on Meddle is pristine. Even if you know the album well, you'll 
 hear things you've never heard on the new remaster.
     The band's biggest selling album, Dark Side of the Moon, was released in 
 1973. It remained on the Billboard charts for a record breaking 700 weeks. 
 The album was previously reissued by EMI in a special 20th anniversary 
 package in 1993.  Sonically, and in the packaging, the new remaster is 
 slightly inferior to the anniversary edition. The graphics are slightly 
 different, plus it doesn't include the cards that came with the anniversary 
 edition. The remaster does sound better than its Mobile Fidelity gold 
 equivalent though. The only thing better about the Mobile Fidelity version 
 is that there is a break between "The Great Gig in the Sky" and "Money". On 
 the Capitol and the EMI versions, the songs segue into each other.
     Overall, all six CDs are noticeably better than the original
 issues, both in terms of sound quality and packaging -- well worth adding to 
 any fan's collection.  (Steve Marshall)



 PRETTY & TWISTED - Pretty & Twisted

      Ex-Concrete Blonde singer/bassist/songwriter Johnette Napolitano once 
 said that after 10 years, she would call it quits for the band. Holding 
 true to her words, Concrete Blonde made their final tour in 1993. In the 
 summer of 1994 while visiting Paris, Napolitano met drummer Danny 
 Montgomery. Together, along with Johnette's old friend -- Wall of Voodoo 
 founding member Marc Moreland, they formed Pretty & Twisted.
      Making her debut as a producer on the band's new CD, Napolitano has 
 come up with a stellar collection of songs.  The new material isn't as 
 aggressive as her former band's, but its just as entrancing. With songs 
 like the dark and foreboding "Souvenir", or the band's cover of the Roxy 
 Music classic "Mother of Pearl", it's clear that Pretty & Twisted are a 
 band to take notice of.
      The first single, "Ride"  has the potential to be a major crossover 
 success. The pseudo-rockabilly "No Daddy No" (which lifts the chord 
 progression from The Runaways' "Cherry Bomb" for the chorus) could be a 
 hit as well. "Train Song (Edge of Desperation)" picks up on the musical
 direction Napolitano was heading by the end of Concrete Blonde's last CD, 
 "Mexican Moon". The song bears a close similarity to that CD's "Love is a 
 Blind Ambition". Moving toward the end of the CD, "Billy" evokes images of 
 a smoky barroom with its dark, moody riff.
      Napolitano also shares the writing duties with some engaging artists 
 outside the band. "Stranger" was co-written with Paul Westerberg. The lyrics 
 to "Come Away With Me" were originally a poem written by one of Johnette's 
 heroes --  Janis Joplin. The results are spellbinding.
      One of the things that make Pretty & Twisted different from its 
 predecessor, Concrete Blonde, is Moreland's guitar work.  While not as 
 aggressive and in-your-face as the style of Jim Mankey, it's more fluid & 
 melodic. Also, Johnette's vocals are now much more relaxed. The hostility 
 in her voice from years ago is gone. No longer an angry young woman in 
 her 20's, she now conveys a sense of maturity and confidence with her 
 vocals. "Pretty & Twisted" is an impressive debut from a stunning new band.
 (Steve Marshall)

 
 
 V/A - INSTRO NATION: 21st Century Surf Sounds - Orange Records

      Instro fans, hear me now!  Get this CD as quickly as you can!  There
 are 15 tracks by 15 bands, and even though you may find yourself wondering
 where Man Or Astro-Man or Impala went, the talent on this disc is very
 much from the top of the pool.  
      The Insect Surfers' Dave Arnson wrote the liner notes, and his band
 contributes "Stingray" to the project.  Every song in the collection is
 top notch.  This CD is also a great introduction to several bands that are
 somewhat newer to the scene, such as Death Valley, Pollo Del Mar, Galaxy
 Trio and Satan's Pilgrims.  On top of that, you get some great stuff from
 established bands like The Mermen, Davie Allan & The Arrows, The Boss 
 Martians and Sultans Of Surf.  The Hillbilly Soul Surfers offer a very
 unusual twist, mixing surf with a Stax/Volt inspired dash of soul.  
      The Volcanos, 3 Balls Of Fire, Shig n' Buzz, Boardwalkers, and The
 Reventlos all make their marks here as well.  Instro Nation is outstanding
 from start to finish.  The liner notes give short and informative bio's of
 the bands, including, in several cases, email addresses for contacting them.
 Most important of all, this CD will introduce a lot of surf fans to several
 lesser known bands.  Bands that aren't going to be "lesser known" for long,
 because this CD is readily available to the masses.  I bought this one at
 Silver Platters, a Seattle CD store that puts Tower Records to shame, both
 in volume and diversity.  If I could happen across it, so could Joe Public.
 I predict Instro Nation will bring in a lot of new fans.  (DJ Johnson)



 V/A - SO YOU WANNA BE A ROCK 'N' ROLL compilation  (Bitzcore)
    
    For the last few years Bitzcore has been one of the premier European
 labels releasing records and discs by many top punk and hardcore bands
 from both sides of the Atlantic. This is a compilation of previously
 released tracks, many of which are out of print, mixed in with a healthy
 sprinkling of live and unreleased outtakes. I find myself more partial
 to the more traditional punk material as played by bands like Sister
 Goddamn, NRA and Cock Sparrer but those of you out there into hardcore
 will difinitely like the stuff on here by Flag Of Democracy, Toxic Reasons,
 Alloy and Tony Adosescent among others. So, while this is not something
 I'm going to be playing myself all that often, this is still a more than
 worthwhile release and, with 29 songs on here, a damn good deal as well.
 (The Platterpuss)



 V/A - STILL THERE IS MORE - Todd Rundgren tribute on Third Lock Records

      Following the success of its first Todd tribute "For the Love of 
 Todd", Third Lock has released "Still There Is More..." -- 2 full CD's 
 of Todd cover tunes performed mainly by unsigned artists. Pretty much 
 every era of Todd's work is covered here, with varying degrees of success. 
 The songs range from faithful renditions ("Kindness" by 3rDegree, and
 "Infrared and Ultraviolet" by Nicoteens) to interesting new arrangements 
 (John Hamlin's "Open My Eyes" or Jay Hallett's reggae take on 
 "Determination") to hopelessly boring (The Revolvers version of "I Saw 
 the Light") and every possibility in between. Check out the dance versions 
 of "Time Heals" or "Real Man". Still not enough variety? Try Blanch Camp's 
 screaming on "Sometimes I Don't Know What to Feel", or Robbie Freeman's 
 imitation of Lou Reed on "Just One Victory" and you'll see what I mean.
      Possibly the best thing about the new tribute is the inclusion of 
 (for the most part) the more "obscure" songs that Todd's written over the 
 years. This CD will be a real delight for Todd's fans. Todd has admitted 
 liking the CD himself. Third Lock's own Mitch Cooper contributed a 
 lackluster version of Hello It's Me (sorry, Mitch!) to the first CD. 
 For this one though, he came up with a truly entertaining rendition of 
 the classic "An Elpee's Worth of Toons" (from the '74 "Todd" album). 
 Cooper also compiled all the songs on both tribute CDs.
      The packaging on the CD is superb, much better than the first CD. 
 For an independent release, it rivals just about any "big label" effort. 
 Bill Bricker did a very professional looking job with the artwork.
 Overall, the artists who contributed to the CD do a fine job. There is 
 talk of the possibility of a third tribute CD in the future. "Still 
 There is More," is a very enjoyable listen & deserves a spot in the 
 collection of any Todd fan.
			   
 "Still There Is More..." is only available through mail-order. Call 
 Third Lock Records direct at (704) 379-0347 (be sure to ask about 
 "For the Love of Todd" when you call - there's only a few left!) or write 
 to PO Box 25523, Charlotte, NC 28229 for more information.  Profits from 
 the sale of the CD are to be donated to charity.  (Steve Marshall)


 
 MARK WHEATON - Plays America's Favorite Award Winning Tunes - Catasonic
		records. PO BOX 2727, 1615 Wilcox, Los Angeles, CA, 90078.

      Electronic music, especially technorave and house music, are pretty
 new to me still.  Some of it I like and can articulate my reasons, and
 some of it I like...and just plain can't.  This one falls somewhere between
 those two ends of the spectrum.  I hesitate to call it either techno or
 house, first of all.  Y'know those old stereo test records they made in the
 60's and 70's?  Some of this is that simple; peeps and beeps, pops and 
 snaps, and the occasional crash.  Some of it is quite symphonic and dramatic,
 though my 8 year old daughter just informed me that it's hard to dance to.
 They're cute when they're still in the Raffi years, aren't they?
      Wheaton has a great sense of humor, which you'll see by looking at the
 CD cover.  The front cover shows him looking like Ray Charles, circa 1955,
 in a bizarre smoking jacket, playing a keyboard and giving a very 50's
 photo-op smile.  The inside sleeve says "Years later..." and has a picture
 of him with hair and beard down to the floor, looking like someone who
 meditates on a high ledge.  I can appreciate that!
      SUBSTANCE ABUSERS!  I'm talkin' to you!  Abuse your substance of choice
 while listening to this CD.  The images will surely fuel a freakish dream
 or two.  Wheaton is good at getting to your subconcious with sounds, which
 include sirens, horns, car alarms, and breaking glass, all put to very
 strange music.  I'm not abusing a single substance (well, coffee) and it
 STILL feels like a twisted acid trip!  Which I appreciate, because I can
 be back in time for dinner.
      Wheaton is obviously twenty cuts above the standard techno musician.
 That genre has a heavy population of "artists" who are talented computer
 programmers with a minimum understanding of music.  Mark Wheaton is either
 classically trained, or a renegade prodigy.  Frank Zappa would have been
 a Wheaton supporter, I'm almost certain.  If you're a fan of Zappa's more
 arty instrumental work, Wheaton will probably turn your crank, as well.
 (DJ Johnson)


 WIVES - Girly Girl 7" single - Vital Music Records - PO Box 20247
	 New York City, NY, 10021-0064. E-Mail at wives@mymail.com

     Ever wonder what could have been if Chrissy Hynde hadn't had that
 poppy streak?  If she'd been a little more brutal in her music?  Check
 out the new single by Wives.  Chrissy WISHES she'd been this honest.
 "Paper Trail" is hard and thundering, but with a melody so catchy I've been
 damaging my throat in the shower trying to sing it.  Damn, that girl can
 sing.  I want so badly to tell you what it's about, but I think I'm about  
 ten IQ points shy of getting it.  By the way, whoever recorded this song,
 killer snare sound!  The flipside is "Double Think," which makes it 2 for
 2 and makes me want to hear an entire album by them.  (They have a full
 length CD called "Ask Me How" available on Go Kart Records).  The straight 
 forward approach of guitar, bass and drums without overdubs adds that much 
 more to the honesty and makes me anxious to see them live.  You should, too.
 (DJ Johnson)


 THE WOLFGANG PRESS - Funky Little Demons - 1995 - 4AD Records

      This one isn't too new.  It says 1995, but it also says 1994. Hmmm.
 I have to admit, right off the bat, that I had never even heard of The
 Wolfgang Press until I saw the video for "Going South" on a public access
 station in Seattle.  I might as well give a plug to the show, for those of
 you who live in that area.  Channel 29, 8:30pm Mondays.  The show is called
 Soundwaves, and while MTV is playing the same Michael Jackson vid they just
 showed 10 minutes ago, Soundwaves is showing Eric's Trip, Love Battery, 
 Mudhoney, Gas Huffer, Devo, Rollins Band or...The Wolfgang Press.  So I saw
 this great video and heard this great song, and next thing I know, I'm 12
 bucks poorer and one CD richer.  
      "Going South" is the opener, and it's a strange little blues-pop ditty
 about "goin' south to where the head unloads."  Hmmm.  The vocalist, who's 
 name doesn't seem to be listed in the liner notes, sings with a very full
 baritone voice that cuts through the mix with a weary and cyncial quality.
 Of the twelve songs, the one that trances me out the most is "Christianity."
 It's psychedelia but it's rave.  You figure it out and get back to me, okay?
 Overall, I am bored by as much of this album as I am thrilled by, but the
 tracks that thrill me...well, thrill me.  "Going South," "Christianity," "So 
 Long Dead," and "People Say."  I like that one because it feels like a song 
 that Lou Reed forgot to do.  The music, the vocal performance, and even the 
 title. (People Say?  You know, Lisa Says?  Caroline Says?) There is also the 
 lyric. 
		
		"Thinking of having babies won't seem right 
		 You're going to have a hard time everytime
		 And we're holding up the seeds like we're holding up a flame
		 Fearing that the women won't breed another name"

      The bottom line is that this record is at least very interesting and
  unusual.  Take about 2 db off the low end, boost the high end a bit, and 
  it would sound like half the MTV bands in 1983.  Thankfully, the EQ is what
  it is, so we don't have to face THOSE funky little demons.  Half and Half.
  Half very good, half very sleepy.  (DJ Johnson)

		

 YETTI GIRLS - Squeeze    (Wolverine)
    
    Like their fellow countrymen Gigantor and The Richies, these guys
 (yes, they're all guys) play happy-go-lucky melodic, totally hook-filled
 poppy punk that's just about guaranteed to bring a ray of sunshine to
 the darkest and dourest of souls. Although not every song on here is a
 total success, like when they slow the pace down and try to get too
 serious, a good half of the 16 songs on here are absolutely first rate.
 My guess is that this is their first release and they're still in the
 process of forging an identity as a band. I can only hope that they'll
 stick with what they do best. Fans of the first 4 Ramones albums, take
 note. (The Platterpuss)



 ZOINKS - Bad Move Space Gadget  (Dr. Strange)
     
     Being released on Dr. Strange it's no great surprise that the 13 songs
 on here are all in that same melodic punk/hardcore vein as so many other
 bands on this label. Not that I'm complaining, mind you, 'cause I happen
 to like that sound quite a bit and besides, this is better than most.
 I'm very intrigued by the lyrics (enclosed on the insert) which appear
 to be written by a guy in his late teens or early 20s who's still kinda
 unsure of himself and where his life is going. While I'm in my mid-40's
 it's a bit hard to relate directly but I'm not too old to remember,
 especially when his thoughts and feelings are conveyed with such eloquence
 and intelligence as they are here. No self pity, just an honest and open
 appraisal of himself and the world around him. I hope that these guys are
 around for a long time 'cause I'm really interested to see where they
 take it from here. (The Platterpuss)

 ---------------------------------------------------------------------------

      And now, a Halloween treat for lovers of the works of Poe.
 
	      
	      "THE CASK OF AMONTILLADO," by EDGAR ALLAN POE

     The thousand injuries of Fortunato I had borne as I best could, but when 
he ventured upon insult, I vowed revenge. You, who so well know the nature of 
my soul, will not suppose, however, that I gave utterance to a threat. At 
length I would be avenged; this was a point definitively settled -- but the 
very definitiveness with which it was resolved precluded the idea of risk.
I must not only punish, but punish with impunity.  A wrong is unredressed 
when retribution overtakes its redresser. It is equally unredressed when the
avenger fails to make himself felt as such to him who has done the wrong.
     It must be understood that neither by word nor deed had I given 
Fortunato cause to doubt my good will. I continued as was my wont, to smile 
in his face, and he did not perceive that my smile now was at the thought of 
his immolation.
     He had a weak point -- this Fortunato -- although in other regards he 
was a man to be respected and even feared. He prided himself on his 
connoisseurship in wine. Few Italians have the true virtuoso spirit. For the 
most part their enthusiasm is adopted to suit the time and opportunity to 
practise imposture upon the British and Austrian millionaires.  In painting 
and gemmary, Fortunato, like his countrymen, was a quack, but in the matter 
of old wines he was sincere. In this respect I did not differ from him 
materially; I was skilful in the Italian vintages myself, and bought largely 
whenever I could.
     It was about dusk, one evening during the supreme madness of the carnival 
season, that I encountered my friend. He accosted me with excessive warmth, 
for he had been drinking much. The man wore motley. He had on a tight-fitting 
parti-striped dress and his head was surmounted by the conical cap and bells. 
I was so pleased to see him, that I thought I should never have done wringing 
his hand.
     I said to him -- "My dear Fortunato, you are luckily met. How remarkably 
well you are looking today! But I have received a pipe of what passes for 
Amontillado, and I have my doubts."
     
     "How?" said he, "Amontillado? A pipe? Impossible? And in the middle of 
the carnival?"  

     "I have my doubts," I replied; "and I was silly enough to pay the full 
Amontillado price without consulting you in the matter. You were not 
to be found, and I was fearful of losing a bargain."
 
     "Amontillado!"
 
     "I have my doubts."
 
     "Amontillado!"
 
     "And I must satisfy them."
 
     "Amontillado!"
 
     "As you are engaged, I am on my way to Luchesi. If any one has a critical 
turn, it is he. He will tell me" --
 
     "Luchesi cannot tell Amontillado from Sherry."
 
     "And yet some fools will have it that his taste is a match for your own."

     "Come let us go."
 
     "Whither?"
 
     "To your vaults."
 
     "My friend, no; I will not impose upon your good nature. I perceive you 
have an engagement.  Luchesi" --
 
     "I have no engagement; come."
 
     "My friend, no. It is not the engagement, but the severe cold with which 
I perceive you are afflicted. The vaults are insufferably damp. They are 
encrusted with nitre."
 
     "Let us go, nevertheless. The cold is merely nothing. Amontillado! You 
have been imposed upon; and as for Luchesi, he cannot distinguish Sherry from 
Amontillado."
 
     Thus speaking, Fortunato possessed himself of my arm. Putting on a mask 
of black silk and drawing a roquelaire closely about my person, I suffered 
him to hurry me to my palazzo.
     There were no attendants at home; they had absconded to make merry in 
honour of the time.  I had told them that I should not return until the
morning and had given them explicit orders not to stir from the house. These 
orders were sufficient, I well knew, to insure their immediate disappearance
, one and all, as soon as my back was turned.
     I took from their sconces two flambeaux, and giving one to Fortunato 
bowed him through several suites of rooms to the archway that led into the
vaults. I passed down a long and winding staircase, requesting him to be 
cautious as he followed. We came at length to the foot of the descent, and 
stood together on the damp ground of the catacombs of the Montresors.
     The gait of my friend was unsteady, and the bells upon his cap jingled 
as he strode.  "The pipe," said he.
 
     "It is farther on," said I; "but observe the white webwork which gleams 
from these cavern walls."
 
     He turned towards me and looked into my eyes with two filmy orbs that 
distilled the rheum of intoxication.
 
     "Nitre?" he asked, at length
 
     "Nitre," I replied. "How long have you had that cough!"
 
     "Ugh! ugh! ugh! -- ugh! ugh! ugh! -- ugh! ugh! ugh! -- ugh! ugh! ugh! -- 
     ugh! ugh! ugh!
 
     My poor friend found it impossible to reply for many minutes.
 
     "It is nothing," he said, at last.
 
     "Come," I said, with decision, we will go back; your health is precious. 
You are rich, respected, admired, beloved; you are happy as once I was. You 
are a man to be missed. For me it is no matter. We will go back; you will be 
ill and I cannot be responsible. Besides, there is Luchesi" --
 
     "Enough," he said; "the cough is a mere nothing; it will not kill me. I 
shall not die of a cough."
 
     "True -- true," I replied; "and, indeed, I had no intention of alarming 
you unnecessarily -- but you should use all proper caution. A draught of this
Medoc will defend us from the damps."
 
     Here I knocked off the neck of a bottle which I drew from a long row of 
its fellows that lay upon the mould.  "Drink," I said, presenting him the 
wine.  He raised it to his lips with a leer. He paused and nodded to me 
familiarly, while his bells jingled.  
     
     "I drink," he said, "to the buried that repose around us."
      
     "And I to your long life."  He again took my arm and we proceeded.  
     
     "These vaults," he said, are extensive."
 
     "The Montresors," I replied, "were a great numerous family."
 
     "I forget your arms."
 
     "A huge human foot d'or, in a field azure; the foot crushes a serpent 
rampant whose fangs are imbedded in the heel."
 
     "And the motto?"
 
     "Nemo me impune lacessit."
 
     "Good!" he said.  The wine sparkled in his eyes and the bells jingled. 
My own fancy grew warm with the Medoc.  We had passed through walls of piled 
bones, with casks and puncheons intermingling, into the inmost recesses of 
the catacombs. I paused again, and this time I made bold to seize Fortunato 
by an arm above the elbow.
 
     "The nitre!" I said: see it increases. It hangs like moss upon the 
vaults. We are below the river's bed. The drops of moisture trickle among
the bones. Come, we will go back ere it is too late.  Your cough" --
 
     "It is nothing" he said; "let us go on. But first, another draught of 
the Medoc."  I broke and reached him a flagon of De Grave. He emptied it at a 
breath. His eyes flashed with a fierce light. He laughed and threw the bottle 
upwards with a gesticulation I did not understand.  I looked at him in 
surprise. He repeated the movement -- a grotesque one.
 
     "You do not comprehend?" he said.
 
     "Not I," I replied.
 
     "Then you are not of the brotherhood."
 
     "How?"
 
     "You are not of the masons."
 
     "Yes, yes," I said "yes! yes."
 
     "You? Impossible! A mason?"
 
     "A mason," I replied.
 
     "A sign," he said.
 
     "It is this," I answered, producing a trowel from beneath the folds of 
my roquelaire.
 
     "You jest," he exclaimed, recoiling a few paces.  "But let us proceed to 
the Amontillado."
 
     "Be it so," I said, replacing the tool beneath the cloak, and again 
offering him my arm. He leaned upon it heavily. We continued our route in 
search of the Amontillado. We passed through a range of low arches, descended, 
passed on, and descending again, arrived at a deep crypt, in which the 
foulness of the air caused our flambeaux rather to glow than flame.
     At the most remote end of the crypt there appeared another less spacious.
Its walls had been lined with human remains piled to the vault overhead, in 
the fashion of the great catacombs of Paris.  Three sides of this interior 
crypt were still ornamented in this manner. From the fourth the bones had 
been thrown down, and lay promiscuously upon the earth, forming at one point 
a mound of some size. Within the wall thus exposed by the displacing of the 
bones, we perceived a still interior recess, in depth about four feet, in 
width three, in height six or seven. It seemed to have been constructed for 
no especial use in itself, but formed merely the interval between two of the 
colossal supports of the roof of the catacombs, and was backed by one of their 
circumscribing walls of solid granite.  It was in vain that Fortunato, 
uplifting his dull torch, endeavoured to pry into the depths of the recess. 
Its termination the feeble light did not enable us to see.
 
     "Proceed," I said; "herein is the Amontillado.  As for Luchesi" --
 
     "He is an ignoramus," interrupted my friend, as he stepped unsteadily 
forward, while I followed immediately at his heels. In an instant he had
reached the extremity of the niche, and finding his progress arrested by the 
rock, stood stupidly bewildered.  A moment more and I had fettered him to the 
granite. In its surface were two iron staples, distant from each other about 
two feet, horizontally.  From one of these depended a short chain. from the 
other a padlock. Throwing the links about his waist, it was but the work of a 
few seconds to secure it. He was too much astounded to resist. Withdrawing 
the key I stepped back from the recess.
 
     "Pass your hand," I said, "over the wall; you cannot help feeling the 
nitre. Indeed it is VERY damp. Once more let me IMPLORE you to return.  No? 
Then I must positively leave you. But I must first render you all the little 
attentions in my power."
 
     "The Amontillado!" ejaculated my friend, not yet recovered from his 
astonishment.
 
     "True," I replied; "the Amontillado."  As I said these words I busied 
myself among the pile of bones of which I have before spoken. Throwing them 
aside, I soon uncovered a quantity of building stone and mortar. With these 
materials and with the aid of my trowel, I began vigorously to wall up the 
entrance of the niche.
     I had scarcely laid the first tier of my masonry when I discovered that 
the intoxication of Fortunato had in a great measure worn off. The earliest 
indication I had of this was a low moaning cry from the depth of the recess. 
It was not the cry of a drunken man. There was then a long and obstinate
silence. I laid the second tier, and the third, and the fourth; and then I 
heard the furious vibrations of the chain. The noise lasted for several 
minutes, during which, that I might hearken to it with the more satisfaction, 
I ceased my labours and sat down upon the bones. When at last the clanking 
subsided, I resumed the trowel, and finished without interruption the fifth, 
the sixth, and the seventh tier. The wall was now nearly upon a level with my 
breast. I again paused, and holding the flambeaux over the mason-work, threw 
a few feeble rays upon the figure within.
     A succession of loud and shrill screams, bursting suddenly from the 
throat of the chained form, seemed to thrust me violently back. For a brief
moment I hesitated -- I trembled.  Unsheathing my rapier, I began to grope 
with it about the recess; but the thought of an instant reassured me. I placed 
my hand upon the solid fabric of the catacombs, and felt satisfied. I 
reapproached the wall.  I replied to the yells of him who clamoured. I 
reechoed -- I aided -- I surpassed them in volume and in strength. I did 
this, and the clamourer grew still.
     It was now midnight, and my task was drawing to a close. I had completed 
the eighth, the ninth, and the tenth tier. I had finished a portion of the
last and the eleventh; there remained but a single stone to be fitted and 
plastered in. I struggled with its weight; I placed it partially in its 
destined position. But now there came from out the niche a low laugh that 
erected the hairs upon my head.  It was succeeded by a sad voice, which I had 
difficulty in recognising as that of the noble Fortunato. The voice said -- 
"Ha! ha! ha! -- he! he! -- a very good joke indeed -- an excellent jest. We 
will have many a rich laugh about it at the palazzo -- he! he! he! -- over 
our wine -- he! he! he!"
 
     "The Amontillado!" I said.
 
     "He! he! he! -- he! he! he! -- yes, the Amontillado. But is it not 
getting late? Will not they be awaiting us at the palazzo, the Lady Fortunato
and the rest? Let us be gone."
 
     "Yes," I said "let us be gone."
 
     "FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, MONTRESOR!"
 
     "Yes," I said, "for the love of God!"
 
     But to these words I hearkened in vain for a reply. I grew impatient. I 
called aloud --
 
     "Fortunato!"  No answer. I called again --  "Fortunato!"  No answer 
still. I thrust a torch through the remaining aperture and let it fall within. 
There came forth in return only a jingling of the bells.  My heart grew sick 
-- on account of the dampness of the catacombs. I hastened to make an end of 
my labour. I forced the last stone into its position; I plastered it up. 
Against the new masonry I reerected the old rampart of bones. For the half of
a century no mortal has disturbed them.
 
In pace requiescat!
 
 
 ---------------------------------------------------------------------------



     COSMIK DEBRIS' QUICK AND DIRTY GUIDE TO GOOD HALLOWEEN FLICKS
     By Drew Feinberg and DJ Johnson
     
     So you aren't the partying kind, you say?  You'd rather spend a nice
 quiet All Hallows Eve at home in the dark, peering out from under a cozy
 blanket at the sinister TV set as Carrie's hand shoots up from the grave
 and forces you to make yet another trip to the underwear drawer?  Well,
 we're with ya.  In fact, we decided to make a few suggestions, just in
 case you draw a blank at the video store.  Here, then, in alphabetical
 order, are the movies that have the Cosmik Debris seal of approval for
 Halloween night viewing.
 
 
 AMERICAN WEREWOLF IN LONDON (1981) Directed by: John Landis. Rating: 4 stars.
 It's funny in places, it's dramatic in places, and in some places, it scared 
 the crap out of me.  David Naughton and Griffin Dunne, as David and Jack, 
 have a great "buddy chemistry" that gives a different viewpoint to the 
 story.  They are two Americans hitchhiking across England.  One night, 
 they stray out onto the moors and are attacked by a werewolf.  If you're 
 at all squeamish, run screaming BEFORE that scene begins.  You'll save time.  
 The rest of the film is about...you guessed it...David's battle against the 
 dark forces that want him to howl a lot and drink from the toilet.  Werewolf 
 transformation scenes were not too smooth until this film came along.  The 
 technique used here was later used by Michael Jackson for his "Thriller" 
 video.  And I really can't believe that I even MENTIONED Michael Jackson 
 in Cosmik Debris.  I apologize.  Well, spilt milk, I s'pose.  Atmosphere, 
 plot, effects and gore!  What more do you want?  How about a clever 
 soundtrack?  It has that too.  (DJ)
 
 CARRIE (1976) Directed by Brian DePalma.  Starring Sissy Spacek, Piper
 Laurie, John Travolta, Nancy Allen, others.  Rating: 4 stars.  Brian
 DePalma made a film that will last throughout the ages.  Carrie (Sissy
 Spacek) is a painfully shy girl, verbally and physically abused by her
 fanatically religious mother (Piper Laurie).  The first thing we see is
 her having her "time of the month" at the worst possible time, and not
 even comprehending what has happened.  All of her classmates torment her,
 and she just wants to liked, to be like the other girls.  When she gets
 invited by the football star to the prom, she is hesitant yet excited to
 go.  What follows is one of the most memorable sequences in cinematic
 history.  Spacek is perfect as Carrie; when watching, you feel her pain
 and alienation.  Laurie is frightening as the psycho-mom, and truly has
 the fervor in her eyes.  Travolta plays a schmuck like only Travolta can. 
 But the true star of the movie is DePalma.  He makes a thriller just as
 good as ANY director, including Hitchcock.  (Drew) 
 
 THE CHANGELING - (1979) Director: Peter Madek.  Rating: 4 stars.
 One of my personal faves.  Famous classical composer, played by George
 C. Scott, loses his wife and young daughter in a terrible accident.  He
 moves to Seattle to teach at the University Of Washington and he rents 
 a house from The Historical Society.  Now this old house, you just KNOW
 it's not a normal house.  What follows is not only a spooky ghost story...
 because it's also one great mystery, with many unexpected twists.  Scott
 is excellent, his wife, Trish Van Devere, may go over the line once in a
 while, but she holds her own.  The woman who plays Mini, the old woman 
 at the Historical Society, is TRULY creepy!  You'll never listen to 
 your tape recorder the same way again after seeing this one. (DJ)   
 
 CREEPSHOW (1982) - Director: George Romero.  Rating: 3 stars.
 This is a great Halloween flick, especially if you are fond of surreal
 and campy horror.  A boy's abusive father throws the kid's Creepshow Comic
 Book out the window, and the pages blow open to the beginning of the first
 story.  There are five.  Steven King stories, at that.  He even appears in
 one, giving a cool campy performance as halfwit Geordie Verrill, who gets 
 Meteor Shit on him and becomes a vegetarian.  Leslie Nielsen as a cuckold
 getting his revenge...You think he can only be funny, but this is psychotic
 stuff here!  E. G. Marshall as the bug-hating Mr. Pratt is perfectly creepy,
 too.  If you don't need to see realism, go get this film.  Surrealism is
 just what I want on Halloween, personally.  Wait'll you see what happens 
 to Adrienne Barbeau!  And you WANT it to! (DJ)
 
 DEAD ALIVE, also known as Braindead (1992) Directed by Peter Jackson. 
 Starring: ... Nah. Rating: 4 stars.  This is the primo horror/comedy film for
 the ages.  Lionel, the classic Mama's boy, gets a girlfriend, which Mama
 sure doesn't like.  Mama, to Lionel's dismay, winds up getting bit by a
 rat monkey and starts to literally fall apart.  She soon winds up giving
 some others "the sickness" and Lionel is left to try to care for his poor
 Mama zombie and her zombie clique.  But boy, those darn zombies sure do
 get into a lot of trouble!  It winds up being a sort of Night of the
 Living Dead with Lionel and his girlfriend trapped in a house battling all
 the bad zombies.  I was not able to take my eyes off the screen for a
 moment.  I've never seen such gore and mutilation in my entire life.  But
 I promise you, if you like DARK comedy, you will be laughing your head
 off; tears were rollin' down my face. Peter Jackson is one of the premier
 new directors out there, and he directs this one perfectly, with the level
 of camp it deserves.  And yes, he is the same Peter Jackson who directed
 the masterpiece Heavenly Creatures.  Line of the movie: "Your mum just ate
 my dog!"  (Drew)

 EVIL DEAD 2: Dead By Dawn. Directed By Sam Raimi.  Starring Bruce Campbell
 and who reallly cares about the others.  Rating: 3 and a Half Stars. Catch
 the first and third someday as well. This is one of the truly funniest
 horror films ever.  This is NOT for the weak of stomach.  You don't have
 to see the first one to be able to follow this one perfectly. Ash (Bruce
 Campbell), his girlfriend and some buddies go to a nice, deserted old cabin
 in the middle of nowhere for the weekend.  They wind up accidentally
 waking up an evil force in the forest that winds up picking them off one
 by one and possessing their bodies.  Oops.  Poor Ash is left to fight the
 forces of evil all by his lonesome.  Unfortunately, he gets his hand
 possessed by the spirit, and it creates the funniest film in the movie, Ash
 vs. His Hand.  Campbell is the king of being the normal guy in a world of
 craziness and watching him slowly lose it is incredibly fun.  Raimi is a
 lover of film, and it shows in his films.  He has a unique directing style
 that dazzles the eye.  Cult favorite.  One word to sum up the film. 
 "Groovy."   (Drew)

 THE EXORCIST (1973): Directed by William Friedkin.  Starring Linda Blair,
 Ellen Burstyn, Max Van Sydow.  4 stars. Don't even bother with the
 sequels. This one blows the mind.  It's very frank, very real, VERY
 disturbing.  Regan (Linda Blair) is acting even brattier than most 12 year
 olds, and Mom (Ellen Burstyn) finally assumes, like most mothers, that her
 child must be possessed.  Except Regan really IS possessed.  So she brings
 in the cavalry to exorcise the demon before Regan's body can't handle the
 strain anymore and kicks off.  Linda Blair does an incredible acting job
 for a youngun and you never doubt that she IS Regan, possessed.  Head
 spinning, vomiting, and doing things with crucifixes that the Catholic
 church certainly doesn't condone, it's fascinating to watch.  Von Sydow
 always gives a powerful performance, and watching him battle the demon is
 riveting.  This is William Friedkin's finest film (for the record, the
 worst is Cruising, I DARE you to sit through that).  (Drew) 
 
 THE 5,000 FINGERS OF DR T. (1953) - Director: Roy Rowland.  Rating: 4 stars.
 A great one to play for the kids on Halloween night.  Dr. Seuss wrote
 the story about a boy who is forced to take piano lessons from the strict
 and non-too-pleasant Dr. Terwilliker.  He falls asleep and dreams of the
 evil world of Dr. T., a twisted musical genius who plans to lure 500 boys
 into captivity and force them to play the giant sinister piano that goes
 around the entire room.  Tommy Rettig is the dreamer who foils Dr. T.'s
 plans at every turn.  There are musical numbers along the way, one of the 
 best of which is sung in the elevator by a black-hooded slave, who sings
 about what horrors take place on each floor.  The photography and sets 
 combine with the bizarre characters to make a great and slightly spooky
 fantasy with a scare-factor low enough for the kids.  It's a timeless 
 classic.  (DJ)
 
 FRANKENHOOKER (1990).  Directed by Frank Henenlotter. Starring:  You don't
 know them.  Rating: 3 and a half stars.  This is a hilarious variation of
 the Frankenstein story.  Jeffrey Franken (hmmm...) is happily mowing his
 lawn one day and accidentally lets go of the mower while it's still on. 
 Poor fiance never knew what hit her.  Poor dorky Jeff, he loved her so,
 but hey, her head wound up not being mangled.  So he does what any
 ordinary guy would do in this situation, he decides to kill hookers and
 use their parts to make his girlfriend whole again.  I'll bet you didn't
 even know if you gave a hooker supercrack, she would explode into many
 useful pieces! Line of the movie: "Where's my Johnson?" Very funny, very
 dark, but what else would you expect from the director of Basket Case?  
 (Drew)
 
 GHOST STORY (1981) - Director: John Irvin.  Rating: 3 stars.
 Fred Astaire in a ghost movie, huh?  How scary can it be?  Well, ol'
 Fred, in his last movie, was pretty convincing as one of the four men who
 make up "The Chowder Society," a geriatric bunch that sit down behind 
 closed doors and scare the hell out of each other with ghost stories. The
 problem is, they have one of their own taking shape around them.  Seems
 this lady named Alma isn't too happy with the old geezers.  The film FEELS
 very long, although it's actually under two hours, and at times you think
 you're going to give up and go to sleep.  Then dear Alma will do something
 amazingly scary.  Did I mention that Alma isn't alive?  She's the ghost
 you heard so much about in the title.  I watched this film once, about
 10 years ago, and the parts that unnerved me did a damned fine job of it.
 Yeah, it's scary in several places.  Scary enough to get 3 stars and a
 recommendation for Halloween viewing. (DJ)
 
 HALLOWEEN (1978): Directed by John Carpenter.  Starring Jamie Lee Curtis,
 Donald Pleasence, and some nobodies.  Rating: 4 Stars.  This is my
 favorite horror film of all time in terms of pure fright. Ignore the
 sequels.  If this one won't make you jump, nothing will. You know the
 story by now.  Michael Myers is "pure evil" and has escaped the loony bin
 to go OJ his hometown.  Pleasance has the straight man's role here, and
 does it well, pleading to the the police to take precautions.  Sigh.  Do
 they ever listen?  Jamie Lee Curtis used to be the scream queen 15 years
 ago, and she deserved the title.  Carpenter makes use of great visuals,
 teasing fakes, and the chilling music still makes me shiver.  Carpenter
 used to be a master of controlling the audience, now he's just a whore who
 puts out mindless crap like In The Mouth Of Madness and Village of The
 Damned.  Where have you gone, John Carpenter? (Drew)
 
 HOCUS POCUS (1994) - Director: ?  Rating: 3 stars.
 Bette Midler as a witch?  Is that supposed to be typecasting?  Oh, I
 dunno, I just know she did a great job in her campy way.  Sarah Jessica
 Parker is great as the ditzy blonde witch that almost made me switch to the
 forces of evil.  Watch the way she caresses the broomstick when they fly.
 The handle wasn't the only wood in evidence, lemme tell ya.  Sexist remarks
 aside, this is another one you can show your kids, at least your not-so-
 small kids.  Three witches are awakened after hundreds of years in their 
 Salem graves.  And it just happens to be Halloween.  How conVEEEEENient.
 It's a fun flick with some interesting twists, and great performances by
 all three witches.  Plus, Bette does a killer version of "I Put A Spell
 On You," and that alone is worth the rental price.  (DJ)

 LEGEND OF HELL HOUSE - (1973) Director: John Hough.  Rating: 4 stars.
 If you want a ghost story with atmosphere, this is the one for you.  
 The thing is absolutely soaking in the atmosphere!  The entire movie has
 a dark red look to it.  In a nutshell... A dying millionaire offers a team
 of psychics a big pile of money if they go to a famous haunted house and
 find proof of life after death.  The house has killed before.  Years 
 earlier, another team of psychics had gone in.  Almost all either died or
 ended up horribly deformed or insane or both.  One complete survivor.  Now
 he's part of the team going back in.  He's played with perfect portions of
 ham by Roddy McDowell.  Pamala Franklin is the strange psychic that might
 just make your libido go on the fritz.  Or maybe Gayle Hunnicutt, as the 
 wife of the boorish scientist will give you wood.  Or if you're a woman...
 you're out of luck.  No sexy male characters in this one...except perhaps
 a ghost with a few dozen kinks.  This is a very scary ghost story, but some
 of the fright will be absorbed by the staginess.  It's British, too, so the
 dialect is very cool.  Go for it.  (DJ)

 NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET (1984). Director: Wes Craven.  Starring: Robert
 Englund, Heather Langenkamp, and others.  Rating: 3 and a half stars.  The
 sequels are okay, but this one is by far the best. Nightmare is a truly
 scary film.  It's based on an interesting premise:  Freddy, with suave
 Fedora and a razor-filled glove exists only in the dream world, but if he
 kills you in your dream, you actually die in the real world.  Langenkamp
 starts to realize it as her friends start to drop like flies, and becomes
 a Vivarin fiend.  Of course, being a teenager in a horror film, no adults
 will believe her, even when she pulls his hat OUT of a dream, they still
 dismiss her.  Can she defeat the baddy Freddy?  Actually, since there's
 been a gazillion nightmares, I think you can figure it out.  But it's
 still a must see.  It's honestly scary and since all the frighting stuff
 happens in the dream world, you never really know what's going to happen. 
 Craven really directed this one with verve.  Seems like he was a one hit
 wonder though, I've seen many of his other films, and they're not even
 worth watching.  (Drew)

 RE-ANIMATOR (1985).  Directed by Stuart Gordon.  Starring Bruce Abbott,
 Jeffrey Combs, and others.  Rating 3 and a half stars.  Thumbs down on the
 sequel.  This one is another delightful take-off of the Frankenstein
 bringing the dead back to life theme.  Herbert Ross is a man with a god
 complex who has developed a serum to bring the dead back to life. He goes
 to study at Miskatonic University and teams up with another med student,
 and together they try to figure out how to revive the dead, without them
 coming back as drooling zombies.  Of course, it all blows up in their
 faces, and the results are both gory and hilarious.  Combs is a man you
 love to hate: he's so dorky and overconfident, it's fun to see him fail. 
 Stuart Gordon adapted this H.P. Lovecraft story well, and this campfest
 will make the black comedy lovers happy.  Also, this film has the
 distinction of having the oddest scene of oral sex on a woman you could
 ever see.  (Drew)

 THE SHINING (1980).  Directed by Stanley Kubrick. Starring Jack Nicholson,
 Shelly Duvall, Scatman Crothers, and others. Rating: 4 stars. Kubrick &
 Jack = great movie.  Jack, looking for a change of scenery, gets a job doing
 the upkeep for a closed hotel during the winter.  But Jack has a couple of
 problems, (a) he's married to Shelly Duvall, which I wouldn't wish on
 anybody (b) his son likes to talk to his finger, and his finger talks
 back, (c) he's quite an edgy recovering alcholic, who has a penchant for
 losing his temper and (d) the hotel is haunted, and beckoning him to hack up
 his family.  Will Jack resist the strain?  This movie is Jack at his best;
 it's mesmerizing to witness his sanity slowly decay.  The odd thing is
 Shelly was so annoying and moronic I was secretly hoping he WOULD hack her
 up.  Kubrick is a master director, and some of the visuals I will never be
 able to forget.  Best line: "I'm not gonna hurtcha.  I'm just gonna bash
 your brains in.  I'm gonna bash 'em right the fuck in!"  (Drew)
 
 THE UNINVITED (1944) - Director: Lewis Allen.  Rating: 3 and a half stars.
 Ray Milland and Ruth Hussey are very good as a brother and sister who buy 
 an old house with...yup...a ghost in it.  The ghost seems to be that of 
 the mother of a local woman, played by Gail Russell.  She grew up there,
 and the mother died, they say, trying to kill the child.  Russell, of 
 course, comes to the house to try to face the past.  The star of the film
 is really Charles Lang Jr's cinematography, which gives off Halloween vibes
 in abundance.  The perfect film for the Halloween recluse who loves a good
 black and white flick with an edge.  (DJ)

 ---------------------------------------------------------------------------

     T H E   O L D   M A N   R A D I O   H O U R   I N T E R V I E W S 

     This month, The Old Man interview's George Reagan of Hagfish.
     
			      *     *     *  

     It's a beautiful, almost fall day, as I sit here in front of a loaned 
computer, pondering an interview with Hagfish on the Internet.  The first I 
heard of this band was when some of the kids mentioned their name after 
seeing them, I think in Cleveland. It was then followed shortly thereafter 
by the radio station manager pulling out the entire discography of Hagfish 
and saying how great they were. So I listened, enjoyed, and decided to seek 
them out.  And now, here we are. Hopefully, we're gonna learn even more about 
Hagfish, who they are, where they've been, and where they're going. 


T.O.M.: Greetings and thanks for being willing to undertake the rigors of 
    doing an Internet interview, while on the road. Please introduce 
    yourselves and the instruments you play to the masses.

GEORGE: Hey, its nice to get to do this email interview with you.  We are
    flying into Manchester, UK as we do this.  We're playing a one-off 
    showcase with Men's Wear tomorrow night.  My name is George.  I sing an 
    write songs.  The rest of Hagfish is: Zach (guitar), Doni (bass),  
    Tony (drums).

T.O.M.: I think I heard that you guys are from Texas, is that true? 
and what part?

GEORGE: Hagfish is from Dallas.  Zach and Doni grew up in a small town 
    called Sherman. 

T.O.M.: What's the punk scene like in  part of the world?

GEORGE: Dallas doesn't have much of a PUNK scene per se.  What it does have
    is an incredible explosion of great live bands almost all of whom have 
    some punk influences here and there to varying degrees. Groups like Rev 
    Horton Heat, Tripping Daisey, the Toadies, Baboon, UFOFU, Hagfish and 
    other bands have certainly been very influenced by punk and the other 
    sounds of the 77-83 period. But I'd like to think that each group has 
    kinda found its own way to put its own slant on music.  As such there 
    isn't one definable "Dallas sound", but there surely is a Dallas 
    explosion!  Hell, bands are moving right here, to Dallas, because they
    think that this is the place to get a record deal!!!!  I couldn't imagine
    that a few years ago!  What's cool is that most of the Dallas groups all 
    grew up and went to school together, we're on indy labels together, 
    played in the Deep Ellum (an old area of Dallas where the old honkey 
    tonks used to be) clubs together, and now are out touring the rest of 
    the country together from time to time. Our music is different, but there 
    are friendships between the groups that go very, very deep. What's great 
    is you don't see much of the kind of competition and put-downs between 
    bands and players that you hear about in other places like LA and New 
    York.

T.O.M.: How long have you been together? Are you all the original members?

GEORGE: Hagfish started about 3 1/2 years ago.  Doni and Zach got the ball
     rolling.  I joined about a year later, Tony shortly thereafter.  This
    line-up's been together about 2  years.

T.O.M.: How'd you guys get together?

GEORGE:  Doni and Zach were practicing in a warehouse with a drummer.  I was
    working next door in a T Shirt factory printing shirts.  I heard these 
    guys playing music that I hadn't heard anyone play live before.  I didn't 
    think anyone else in Dallas, my age, knew about groups like the 
    Descendents, the Damned, Black Flag, the Ramones, the Who, and the Sex 
    Pistols.  But there they were jamming away on original stuff!  I went 
    right in and showed them some of my songs.  They needed a singer, I
    needed a band.  They had a show coming up in a couple of weeks, I joined! 
    We lost the drummer, Tony joined Hagfish!

T.O.M.: The songs I've heard are pretty poppy, with lyrics that cover love 
    and all the other things about growing up in a modern world.  Who, if 
    anyone, provided the inspiration for the style of music you play?

GEORGE:  Well, bands like the Descendents and the Ramones certainly are big
    influences.  After that it depends on who in the group that you're talking
    to.

T.O.M.: Is there one primary song writer in the group or do you all 
    contribute to the mix?

GEORGE:  I write about 80% of the stuff.  I start on acoustic guitar.  Then
    the group takes over -- it always comes out sounding very different, 
    which is great!  The rest of the guys put their touches on.

T.O.M.: Based on the schedule I've seen, you guys seem to be touring a lot. 
    Do you guys still have other jobs or is the band it?

GEORGE: Being in Hagfish is a 24/7 commitment.  We've been lucky in that we
    built up a following so we could support ourselves by playing live even
    before this CD came out.  Hagfish did about 150 shows in about 40 cities 
    and college towns before the "Rocks Your Lame Ass" CD was released. If 
    you look at a map and draw a line across the base of Texas into Louisiana
    and then make a triangle from both sides up to Chicago you'll pretty much
    define the original Hagfish circuit.  We'd play the cities like Houston 
    and St. Louis and Chicago (which were great) but we'd also play all these 
    medium and small places like Stillwater and Fayetteville and Nacogdoches 
    and Lawrence and so on. You see, all these places have lots of kids who 
    love music just like kids in the big cities, but very few bands would 
    play for them.  We went in for no money the first time or two and built 
    up a following.  By the fourth or sixth show we'd see a line around the 
    club! 

T.O.M.: So at one point did you everyone decide that they were going to give 
    up their jobs and give their total to music?

GEORGE: I think Doni and Zach were full time when I met them!  They grew up
    in a music driven family where starving for rock 'n roll was the norm!
    Hagfish took off pretty quickly after Tony joined.  Our friends and local
    indy label mates (Dragon Street Records), Tripping Daisy, took us on tour.
    We started picking up a following!  I have always kept the T shirt shop.  
    When we get off the road Tony and I will sometimes go straight in and 
    print shirts for 18 hours a day for a week or two!  It helps pay the 
    bills.  We print shirts for Hagfish and a lot of the other Texas bands.  
    When we're on the road our friend Chad keeps the shirt biz going.

T.O.M.: If my memory serves me right, and it seldom does, you guys are 
    touring with bands ranging from the Supersuckers and Tripping Daisy to 
    the Right Rev. Horton Heat and Bad Brains. Do the crowds these bands 
    draw dramatically impact the crowds receptiveness to your music?

GEORGE:  Things do vary but I'd have to say just as much town -to- town as
    much as with whom you're playing with.  We seem to get a pretty warm 
    response wherever we play.  People just seem to dig it - we're lucky!

T.O.M.: You wanna give us any scoops on Bad Brains, specifically HR?

GEORGE:  Hmmmm.............you've got to understand that we definitely
    worship at the BB altar. We absolutely saw some things we'd have paid 
    money to see.  It was history in the making -- wonderful and tragic at 
    the same time!  But it wouldn't be cool for me to talk shit about it now.

T.O.M.: I guess when people like me think of big bands touring, we think of 
    private coaches with all the luxuries of home. What do you guys tour 
    around in?

GEORGE:  Right!  Private coaches????  I wish!!!!!! Try an old van we bought
    that had 100,000 miles on it!!!!  It was used to give tours of the Ewing
    "Dallas"ranch (no, I'm not making this up)!  It was pretty big as vans 
    go -- but caught fire outside Las Vegas in the desert!

T.O.M.: No one will ever accuse me of being totally original and the next 
    question certainly has all the markings of proving the point.  What are 
    the high points and low points of life on the road?

GEORGE:  Well, let's see... High points that come immediately to mind:  
    Playing at music festivals like in Seattle, Indianapolis, Portland and 
    Dallas in front of lots of moshing kids;  seeing a kid in a city we'd 
    never been to walk into a store and buy our CD;  hearing our music on 
    the radio;  talking to cool kids in weird places who dig our music; 
    getting to play with great groups like the Rev, the Suckers, Bad Brains, 
    Tripping Daisy, Everclear, Babes, Bosstones, UFOFU, etc.   Lows:  Driving 
    all day and night to gigs that are cancelled! Lower:  Flying all week 
    long (like this week): First in Portland, then Manchester, UK, then San 
    Francisco, then NYC, then LA.  Its scary when you've never been on a 
    plane before!  Lowest: Having your van catch fire in the desert!!!!  
    Then scrambling all week to try to figure out how to finish the tour!

T.O.M.: I would imagine that spending so much time together presents some 
    challenges over the long haul of a tour. How do you guys deal with it? 

GEORGE:  We're pretty good about communicating and working things out. We've
    been doing this awhile and have figured out how to give everybody their
    space.

T.O.M.: Other than passing your time responding to interviews of greater 
    intellect than this, how do you pass your time on the road?

GEORGE:  We had these really cool devices called "Go Pads".  They're sort of
    motorized skateboards with a handlebar.  They were a blast 'cuz it let us
    cruise around a new place and see the sights!  Unfortunately somebody 
    stole 'em from us!   We had a blast snowboarding up on Mt Hood.  This 
    cool guy named Seon helped us set-up a gig in this snowboard summer camp. 
    The next day we all went out boarding!!!! It was a blast!

T.O.M.: One of your previous releases was on BYO records. How did that go?

GEORGE:  Good. A lot of people seemed to have picked it up.  Its got some
    great art on the cover that our buddy, Jobie Cummings, did.  Jobie is a
    killer tattoo artist from Dallas.  We're going to do a 7" with Fat 
    Records also.  Fat Mike is cool.  

T.O.M.: How was working with Sean, Mark, and Adam from BYO and the Youth 
    Brigade?

GEORGE:  We always dug those guys.  Tony learned to play drums by playing
    along with their first record!

T.O.M.: Did you have any releases prior to that?

GEORGE:  The "Buick Men!" CD was out on Dragon Street Records.  There were
    less than 15,000 made. Its hard to find now.  Some of the songs from that 
    CD are on the "Rocks Your Lame Ass" CD but different versions.  It would 
    be nearly impossible to find "Buick Men!" now.  But  4 of those recording 
    are on the BYO 7" single.  Also you can find 5 recordings in this really 
    cool book, "Punk Diary" (St. Martin Press - US edition only). he book 
    comes with a free interview CD.  In between the interviews there are some 
    songs from "Buick Men!" used as bumpers!  We were also on some Dallas 
    compilations like "Tales from the Edge" and Idol Records.

T.O.M.: If you don't mind, let me switch gears and bring us more to the 
    present. By the way, I love to switch gears, all the time in a live 
    interview, so this thing is way more organized than I usually am. 
    (smile). You recently signed to some sort of deal with London, was it a 
    multi-record deal?

GEORGE:  Yes.  This deal is supposed to be one of those "for the long haul"
    kind of deals.  But we'll keep making records until we suck and then 
    that's it.

T.O.M.: Out of curiosity, did they approach you or did you approach them?

GEORGE:  They came to us.  A friend, Sheri Gessin, works at a local indy
    distributor and was turning them on to what was happening in Texas. They 
    also checked out some another local band on Dragon Street (the Nixons, 
    now on MCA).  London Records liked us.  We hung out and they kept coming 
    to shows.  

T.O.M.: When you did start talking with them, did you guys do the 
    negotiations yourself or did you have some outside input?

GEORGE:  Both.  There's a lot we wanted to be clear about particularly we had
    to have complete artistic freedom.  We had help from our manager on the
    business stuff. 

T.O.M.: Was signing with a major something that you guys envisioned when you
started as a band?

GEORGE:  Not really.  We thought that no one in major label land would be
    into what we were doing.  It was a passion and a hobby.  Its something 
    we'd have done whether there was money there or not.  It was a big 
    surprise to me.

T.O.M.: How rigid is the deal? For instance, does your agreement with London 
    allow you to put anything out on indy labels, like 7"s? 

GEORGE:  Very flexible.  That's something we insisted on!  We can do 7"s for
    anybody we want.  Basically London let's us have complete artistic  
    freedom.

T.O.M.: Did you have any other offers, like from some indy label?

GEORGE:  There was a lot of interest from other labels both indy and major.  
    The problem was that we were already signed to an indy (Dragon Street
    Records) that had very limited resources (they only work records in Texas)
    but wouldn't let us go without first paying them a TON of money!  No indy
    could afford to sign us!  And we were stuck on an indy that wouldn't work 
    our records outside the state!  The other majors were real corporate.  
    It was like "You have to work with this producer! You have to let us 
    decide what you should look like!  We can't make a decision in 4th 
    quarter!  It will take six months to get the deal done!  Hurry up and 
    wait!"   Neil (our guy at London) said "We'll put you in the studio now 
    and get the record out fast!  Sure you can make a record with Bill and 
    Stephen from All! Yes, you can release 7"s with anybody you like!  We'll 
    get the deal done with Dave (our manager) while you make the record!  
    Let's go!"  That was cool!

T.O.M.: In sitting back and reflecting upon the decision, what would you say 
    were the reasons that led you to going with London?

GEORGE:  They give everybody a lot of attention.  There's only about 8 people
    at London records. Hell, they're smaller and less "corporate" than a lot of
    indys we talked to!  Being on London is a lot like being on an indy label.

T.O.M.: I'm sure that signing with them has opened up a whole new audience 
    for you music, but has there been any other ramifications, both negative 
    and positive, to being on a major? 

GEORGE: London's doing for us what any indy label would do.  They don't spend
    lots of money stupidly, they do work their acts long and hard.  They just 
    let the band develop at its own pace and run their course.

T.O.M.: Along the same lines, are there any bands that you used to play with, 
    that no longer will play with you?  No, you don't have to name them. 
    (smile)

GEORGE:  I can't remember any.  Most of the bands that we play with just dig
    our music.  The Dallas bands sure wouldn't care:  we all went to high 
    school together and still play together.  We haven't changed -- so if 
    that's the case -- fuck 'em!  People should focus on the music not the 
    business shit.

T.O.M.: OK,  having spent some time on both sides of the aisle, as it were, 
    is there any advice to just getting started or that are somewhere early 
    on the musical road?

GEORGE:  Just play every time possible.  Do what you love, not what you think
    will make money.  All great bands are genetically attached to their 
    music.  Its second nature to them.  Anyone who is faking it sucks and 
    its obvious.

T.O.M.: Wow! I didn't realize how many questions I've put to you. I hope that 
    it didn't cause writer's cramps or any other such malady. Are there any 
    things that you want to share with us before we let you go?

GEORGE:  Stay young. Look good. Party.

T.O.M.: Well, thanks a lot for working your way through this thing, which 
    now seems longer than a civil service exam, with questions approaching 
    the same intellectual level. Also, thanks for being so open.  Good luck!
    
GEORGE:  Thanks for your time.  it was a pleasure.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

The Old Man is the aged host of a weekly radio show in Erie, PA that plays
a mixture of all punk styles from the 70's to present. In addition, he can be
found hanging around at many shows in PA, OH, and Western NY, is the Editor 
of The Old Man Chronicles, and contributes periodically to other zines.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------
 
	       B E T W E E N   Z E R O   A N D   O N E
		   
		   Be Proud, Be Brave, Be Cynical
			  
			  By Steve Leith

Cynicism is the whipping boy of our political parties and mainstream 
media.  Cynics are constantly denounced by witty pundits and politicians 
alike.  This long history of hate mongering against Cynics must stop.  
Cynics of the world unite.

Why are cynics hated so much?  Well, to quote the American author Ambrose 
Bierce (1842-1914) "Cynic. A blackguard whose faulty vision sees things 
as they are, not as they ought to be."

A government usually can not endure having reality pointed out to it.  In 
our nation we attempt to solve the problem of vocal Cynics by vilify the 
messengers.  It works surprisingly well.  Merely calling someone a Cynic
is enough to render all their ideas meaningless, false, or evil.

Let's peel back some of the disinformation spread about Cynics.  Let's 
start with the definition of Cynic from the American Heritage Dictionary.

cyn-ic (sin-ik)  n.  1. Cynic. A member of a sect of ancient Greek 
philosophers who believed virtue to be the only good and self-control to 
be the only means of achieving virtue.  2. A person who believes all people 
are motivated by selfishness.

Gee, that doesn't sound all that dangerous. If politicians practiced a 
bit more self control there would be no need for the Senate Ethics 
Committee, and given the reality of the Reagan revolution, it seems 
pretty clear that he thought people were motivated by selfishness.

So, how does cynicism work in practice?  What about the most famous Cynic 
of them all, Diogenes the Cynic (c. 400 - c. 325 BC)?  Why would 
Alexander the Great have said that if he were not Alexander he would want
to be Diogenes?

Diogenes was an advocate of a simple life of temperance, reduced to the 
barest necessities.  In a condition such as that he had time to observe 
how the social and political world worked.  It is small wonder that he 
was said to go about in daylight with a lantern looking for an honest 
man.  The records do not show if he ever found one.

When Alexander the Great came to Diogenes, and asked how he could serve 
the philosopher, Diogenes replied "By standing out of my sunshine."  Is 
there danger in not wanting special treatment by the great rulers?  Is there
danger in being so content with your self worth that you can clearly see 
the world around you?

Do not take me wrong.  Cynicism without virtue, wisdom, and knowledge is 
merely petulance.  You can not be a Cynic if you are merely angry that 
you are not one of the corrupted few who live in opulence.

You can not call yourself a Cynic if you do not have knowledge of the 
institutions you would hold up to public humiliation.  Rumor and 
prejudice do not work in the realm of virtuous cynicism.  Know yourself, 
then know your world.

A Cynic can not find truth by following the demagogue or the evangelist.  
The rhetoric and dogma of society must not blind the Cynic to the real 
truth.  The Cynic must walk alone.

The power of Cynicism is virtue in the face of corruption.  The Cynic 
accepts the civic duty to point out baseness and mendacity.  Cynicism is 
a danger to society's institutions only when those institutions lack
honesty.

Cynics must be ceaseless in their efforts to call into question the 
dishonesty of their society's institutions.  They must live an example 
of a virtuous life, and by that example prove the truth that most 
political actions are devoid of integrity.

Cynics are not like Stoics.  Stoics believe in an inescapable fate to be 
borne with silent strength.  Stoics are good subjects.  Cynics are good 
citizens.

The next time you hear a politician denounce a person or idea as cynical, 
take a closer look.  Get beyond the misdirection that is the craft of 
both the magician and the politician.  Look at who really gains power and
wealth.

If you are willing to do that, you may have what it takes to be one of 
the proud, the brave, the few, the cynical.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------


		      D R E W ' S   V I E W S

	  Hiding Out On Halloween: Videos to Ease the Guilt
			 By Drew Feinberg

     Halloween is almost upon us, coming quicker than Hugh Grant in a BMW. As 
 Meg Tilly so brilliantly asked in the cinematic disaster known as Body
 Snatchers, "Where ya gonna go?  Where ya gonna run?  Where ya gonna hide?"
 Eloquently, she voices the dilemma of millions of Americans every
 October 31.  I've done them all, with less than optimum results.  Lets 
 run through the options, shall we? 
      Okay, first there's trick or treating.  Being a greedy bastard and 
 visiting every house within a 20 mile radius, hitting them up for the
 goods, is socially acceptable as child, but, three years ago, when I was 
 dressed as Zsa Zsa Gabor and asked all of my neighbors to "Give me some 
 candy, DAHLING, or I'll give you a slap," the results were less than 
 desirable.  From what I can remember I got assorted candy bars, candy
 corns, rocks, kitchenware, lollipops, and a jack o'lantern, still lit-- 
 THROWN at me, with great velocity.  I can't even spell the names people 
 called me, and I was told to do things to myself that aren't even 
 physically possible, lord knows I've tried.  One grandmotherly looking 
 woman was actually kind to me, and gave me some popcorn.  My faith in 
 mankind had been restored, that is, until I heard the muffled call to her 
 husband "Come see this poor slow boy.  It's lovely to see the mentally 
 challenged out and about."  At the tender age of 22, I retired from trick 
 or treating forever. 
      The next year I opted to stay home, watch some scary movies, and give
 wondrous candy to the legit trick or treaters.  The candy isle at the
 supermarket was pure pandemonium.  I might as well have been looking for
 the last green Power Ranger on Christmas Eve.  I didn't want to be one of
 those houses that gave out nickels, fruit, hard bubble gum, cream soda
 dum-dums that stuck to the paper, black licorice, those awful dark
 chocolate miniatures, or Smarties. Honestly, do people ever BUY Smarties
 for themselves?  I made a quick scan of what was available, and I saw some
 variety packs of assorted good chocolate stuff that the others had
 apparently not seen.  I made a mad dash to get two packs.  I popped 'em in
 my cart and very confidently strolled to the checkout counter. The line
 was huge, and I noticed the elderly woman behind me had nothing in her
 cart but a box of Metamucil, so I let her go in front of me.  I started to
 sing along with the muzak..."Precious and few are the moment we two can
 shaaaaaaare..."  CRASH!  I looked to my side and saw this huge pyramid of
 canned beets topple over.  "Hope that wasn't my singing," I thought to
 myself, then turned back. Quicker than I could say "The cast of Wings
 should be sterilized," my treasures were GONE!  I was completely
 bewildered.  I was shocked when I looked in the cart ahead of me. The
 woman I had sacrificed selflessly for had two bags of assorted chocolates
 along with her Metamucil.  I tried to conceal my anger and kindly said to
 the woman "Excuse me, I think those are my Halloween candies there."  I
 believe she mouthed the words "Bite me."  I walked right up to her cart
 and reached in and picked up what was rightfully mine.  That's when she
 started bawling hysterically, which caused the entire supermarket to glare
 in my direction.  I was frozen like Jennifer Tilly would be if you aimed a
 flashlight at her eyes. I was never so furious AND so humiliated; I just
 stood there with my hand in the metaphorical cookie jar.  I bolted from
 the store, still candyless, I decided to go to a convenience store,
 where I bought 50 Chunky bars.  A mixture of chocolate nuts and raisins
 makes my stomach turn, but hey, I didn't have to eat 'em.  I had enough
 Chunky bars to feed a small South American country, or Marlon Brando.  I
 sat down and started to watch Halloween.  Before the opening credits were
 finished, the doorbell rang. "Trick Or Treat," I was greeted by a child
 and his mother.  "Here ya go, fella," I smiled as I handed him a Chunky. 
 The child glowed; the mother frowned.  "Michael is ALLERGIC to nuts. 
 Don't you have anything else?" she inquired.  "Umm...n-n-no..." I
 stammered.  The mother ripped the treat from her son's hand and handed it
 back to me, setting Michael into a temper tantrum.  "I'm really sorry," I
 managed to say.  "Thank you, thank you VERY much, it was his first
 Halloween and you ruined it for him.  Aren't you proud of yourself?" she
 sneered as she stormed off.  I sighed, shrugged, and went back to my
 movie.  Five minutes later, more doorbell. Two teenage girls dressed
 up--looked like the girls from Clueless, gum chewing and all.  "Like,
 trick or treat." I handed them two chunky bars, which appalled them. 
 Clueless #1: "Like HELLO, do you KNOW how many grams of fat are in a
 Chunky?  Only like a MILLION!"  and she handed it back to me.  Clueless
 #2: "Geez Louise, don't you have any like Snackwells or fat free potato
 chips?" and deposited El Chunky back in my hand.  And so it went all
 night.  Kids whining about chocolate, kids bitching about raisins, kids
 bitching about options, in 4 hours I got through about 15 minutes of my
 movie.  And got stuck with 45 Chunky bars.  Hey, you want a Chunky? 
      Last year I tried another great Halloween option--the costume party. I
 bopped on down to "Costumes R Us," to rent one, which was oh-so-wise to do
 on Halloween day.  Sparse selection?  The place was emptier than Jennie
 McCarthy's skull.  Let me tell you, all eyes were focused when I stumbled
 in the door as a huge orange box of Tide.  I felt about as mobile as
 Gilbert Grape's mother.  I scanned the room and saw assorted Beavises,
 Ticks, Shannen Doughertys, Newt Gingriches, and one big orange blob.  I
 went straight to the punch bowl and then mingled about. Everybody bored
 me, and they all seemed to be staring at the monstrosity that was my
 costume.  Then I saw her, the woman I would spend forever with, the woman
 who wouldn't bitch at me for drinking milk out of the carton. She was a
 twin of Mia Wallace (a.k.a. Uma Thurman in Pulp Fiction), and she looked
 me straight in the eye, walked up to me, and what followed was a few hours
 of engaging conversation; this and my never empty punch cup kept me in
 seventh heaven.  In the middle of debating which was more torture,
 watching the OJ trial or watching a Mickey Rourke movie, she blurted out
 "Do you always talk so much before you a kiss a girl?" That was all the
 invitation I needed.  I wrapped my arms around her and kissed. It was just
 like the movies...the world started to spin in a little circle, like in a
 DePalma film, except it made me dizzy, and I suddenly realized it wasn't
 the kiss, but the heavy imbibing at the punchbowl.  I lost my balance,
 which is not a smooth thing mid-kiss.  The huge Tide box caused me to
 stumble and I held my love tight, knowing she would be my rock and prevent
 my imminent falling, but my feet became entwined with hers and I fell
 forward, taking Mia Wallace with me.  I could see her expression of horror;
 the girl I so wanted to impress was being crushed by Mr. Tide himself.  I
 believe the words that she used were "Jesus, I can't feel my legs!  I
 struggled and squirmed, as Batman and Thor managed to pull me off of her,
 but by then it was too late.  Physically, Mrs. Wallace was fine, but she
 was none too pleased with my squashing her, inadvertent as it was.  In
 fact, everybody at the party just sort of glared and pointed at me until I
 left in utter shame.  No more Halloween parties for ME, thank you very
 much. 
      Don't walk down the same unpaved road as I did.  Learn from my mistakes,
 my friend.  This Halloween, hide out with some friends, turn off on the
 lights and rent some movies.  Try a couple of these, you'll thank me
 later.  Halloween, Nightmare On Elm Street, Frankenhooker, Carrie, The
 Shining, Evil Dead 2, Dead Alive, Invasion of the Body Snatchers, The
 Exorcist, and Re-Animator (See these reviewed in the movies section) When
 the doorbell rings, don't answer it.  There's no shame.  In fact, I've
 found that detaching the doorbell all together makes things much more
 pleasant.. And if you turn the volume up really loud, you can't even hear
 those little fists knocking. 

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

	    
	    S H A R P   P O I N T E D   S T I C K   A W A R D
			   
			   By DJ Johnson

      Okay, come on in and pull up a chair.  No time to lose this month.  
 There are some STUPID people in the news!  

       First, let's talk about Morteza Farakesh.  Either this poor guy is 
 being railroaded and painted as an idiot, or this idiot has just enough 
 brains to inhale, exhale and piss.  I only offer the first option because 
 I hate to believe that there are people walking around out there that fit 
 the second profile so well.  Anyway, this Bozo was just convicted of   
 possession of 2 million dollars worth of morphine.  They caught him with
 it at New York's JFK airport, a place where customs agents outnumber 
 airline passengers 26 to 1.  If you got a mosquito bite in Honduras, some
 bored customs agent is going to find it and bust you for not declaring it.
 There are several airports Farakesh could have chosen.  NONE of them offer
 the same adventures in strip searching that JFK does, but he still chose
 JFK...because an airline there was offering super saver fares.  (!!!)  
 Yup, for a couple hundred dollars, this chimp without the smarts put 
 himself right into the hands of the authorities.  He was looking at 
 hefty sales projections, had he ever actually arrived in California, but
 he'll just have to dream about it, now, because he's going to be very busy
 becoming some guy's bitch.  AWARD: He gets a 3 on the sharp pointed stick
 meter!  AND, as a bonus, because this one is so intensely moronic, he also
 wins the World Trade Center Bombers Rent-A-Truck Return Policy Award for
 thriftiness in the criminal world.  Way to go, Morteza.  Uh oh!  Ya dropped
 the soap!

      Next, we need to talk about former...oh, that sounds beautiful...former
 senator Bob Packwood.  DUUUUUH!  Oh, yeah, THAT diary!  Listen, I had a few 
 beers, next thing ya know, I was fantasizing about Phil Gramm and money!
 It didn't REALLY happen!  And those women...hell, maybe I DID kiss 'em.  I
 was so drunk, how am I supposed to remember.  If I'd been halfway sober, I
 sure as hell woulda done more than KISS 'em!  I didn't even just say that!
 Or I may have said it, but I would have been drunk.  My dog ate it!  NO!
 Wait... Diary?  What diary?  Oh yeah.  Lookit, I never used the power of 
 my political office to get jobs for my ex wife.  I don't know how these 
 rumors get started.  I was drunk when I said Phil Gramm used GOP "soft
 money" to pay for a night in the sack with me!  Hell, I'm drunk right NOW!
 I quit drinking, though.  I think the smell of the booze on my breath turns
 the ladies off, because they're always clawing to get away.  Which turns
 me on, actually, but I didn't say so.  Or I did.  I'm a little hazy on if
 I did or didn't right now.  In fact, I'm not saying another word on the did
 or didn't subject until my attorney is present.  Tell ya one thing, though,
 I never obstructed truth and justice in a senate hearing just to pay back
 a lobbyist for a favor!  Hell, I ain't even heard of the Mitsubishi Corp.
 Though I may have attacked a woman from there.  Yyyy...yeah, I did, I 
 remember that one.  Damn, pepper gas is murder!  And I'm here to tell you, 
 you never really do build up an immunity to it.  Anyway, I quit. No I don't.
 Or I do, but I'm drunk.  But enough about me, this is about Bob Packwood.
 I'm running out of space, so just take my word for it when I tell you Bob
 Packwood rates a 2 on the Sharp Pointed Stick meter.  He'd get a three, but
 he usually has the presence of mind to stick the stick into someone other 
 than himself.  Still, you have to appreciate the stupidity of the man.  
 Rumor has it he will be taking up acting, and has already been cast in the
 road company of The Wizard Of Oz.  Here's a sneak preview.

 "I'd be President of Romance
  And still Chairman of Finance
  A player in the game
  Oh the folks would all admire me
  And I wouldn't keep a diary
  If I only had a brain"
      
      Neither of these guys win the big one this month.  That honor goes to 
 myself and my wife.  We're guilty of civic impotence. I'm the worst offender.  
 I have used Cosmik Debris as a pulpit to spread the word about the 
 importance of voting.  I've told our readers over and over that not voting 
 nullifies them, leaves them voiceless.  So what did I do?  What did WE do, 
 actually.  We didn't vote.  For the first time, we had registered as 
 absentee voters here in Washington state.  The big issue in this primary 
 election was whether or not to add 0.1% to the sales tax in order to pay 
 for a baseball stadium with a retractable roof.  Both of us went this way 
 and that way on the issue, and at times we were on opposite sides, but 
 eventually, I was won over to the YES side because my wife, Louise, pointed 
 out how many jobs would be lost by waitresses, store clerks, etc, all 
 around the area of the Kingdome (which is right next to where the new park 
 would be built).  Jobs would be lost because the Mariners would pack their 
 bags and split for either Washington DC or Tampa/St. Petersburgh, Florida.   
 I was also won over because I grew up loving baseball.  But guess what!  
 When election day came, we were all wrapped up in our lives and our kids 
 and our zine and what have you, and we flat out FORGOT TO MAIL THE BALLOTS!  
 And just to torture us further, it became one of the closest votes in the 
 history of the world.  It came down to the absentee ballots and the agony 
 was stretched over several days.  At one point, only 300 votes seperated 
 the two sides.  In the end, the stadium lost by 1,082 votes.  Should have 
 been 1,080.  The worst part is that a huge number of absentee voters didn't 
 vote.  Far more than the 1,080.  Happily, all the city council and school 
 board types we were going to vote for won.  But the stadium didn't.  And 
 worst of all, we weren't accounted for.  We've resolved that it'll never 
 happen again, but the psychic damage has been done.  Not voting is stupid, 
 folks.  Stupider than behaving like a horny little criminal and then 
 detailing it in a diary.  Stupider than parading in front of a hundred 
 customs officers while wearing baggies of morphine for earrings.  Forget 
 the award.  Just give me the stick and let me do the honorable thing.

 ---------------------------------------------------------------------------
			
			U  R  B  A  N  I  A
			  
			  By Jim Andrews                        


      Y'know, I've been listening to these Republicans up there talking 
 about "spiritual decay" this, and "moral decline" that, and by God, they're 
 right!  Lord knows I'm the last one to admit something like that, but the 
 evidence is incontrivertible.  We need action, and we need it now.  
      But who do we turn to?  The Christian church?  Oh COME ON!!  Yeah, 
 let's put the people responsible for the Inquisition, the Crusades, and Pat 
 Robertson in charge of our "moral rebirth."  JESUS!  We might as well put 
 Jeffrey Dahmer in charge of school-lunch menus.  No, this calls for even
 MORE drastic action.  The way I see it, the Christians HAD their chance to 
 run this country's conscience.  "So," you might be asking yourself, "where 
 do we go from here, Jim?"  
      Well, I thought you'd never ask!  I'm flattered!  You guys are the 
 greatest.  Really.  All 144,000 of you.  Ok, OKAY!! Stop waving those palm 
 leaves and throwing alms.  You've talked me into it.  I hereby proclaim, on 
 this day, five October, one thousand and...oh, whatever...you get the 
 idea...that we shall start our OWN church.  A church, as it were, for the 
 rest of us.
      Now, I s'pose the first order of business would be to find our deity 
 and our daemons.  Oh, the holy sacrament is easy, though.  Redhook Beer.  
 Uh, God spaketh unto me saying that.  He spaketh saying "Jim, I sayeth 
 untoeth thee:  From this day forwardeth, thou SHALT drink Redhook Beer, 
 as a testament to me, et cetera, blah blah blah...and you shall tell all 
 the people to go and do likewise.  And shit."
      Okay, so how about our Satan?  Our Anti-anti-Christ, so to speak?  
 Well, a few easy targets come to mind...how about Newt Gingrich?  Bob Dole?  
 Naw, let's just stick with the MOST obvious choice, Pat Buchanan.  Okay, 
 so what about our deity?  Well, I'm personally stumped on that one.  I'll 
 think about that and get back to you next month, although I'm open to 
 suggestions if you have any ideas.
      Now, I suppose the next order of business would be to write our ten 
 commandments.  No...on second thought, just to show that we're different, 
 let's have eleven commandments.  Yeah, THAT sets us apart, huh?  That'll 
 show the bastards how serious we are.  Ok, so, like I went up to some 
 mountain or something and got these from our still-nameless deity.  He did 
 spake unto my person, saying things much like what follows here:

 Commandment number 1:

 Thou shalt NOT suffer a Republican into your home, for their minds have 
 been poisoned by Pat Buchanan (the Anti-anti-christ, the devil, for those 
 of you who just tuned in...) and they are unclean.  They have a great cancer 
 in their minds, and, while it is not contagious, conversing with them HAS 
 been known to cause severe vomiting.

 Commandment number 2:

 Thou shalt NOT drink Budweiser beer, nor shalt thou drinketh Miller Genuine 
 Draft beer, for these beers are beers that have been blessed by demons 
 (read: ignorant people who also like Pat Buchanan) and they shall not pass 
 your lips.  NEITHER shalt thou drinketh any wine-coolers, for they are an 
 abomination, and when consumed in great quantities, will cause great 
 vomiting upon the land, or the floor, or your shirt.  Although the force of 
 vomiting upon consuming wine-coolers is less than that which occurs upon 
 having conversations with Republicans (children of Pat Buchanan, the Devil, 
 for those of you who just tuned in...) it is still great vomiting, and 
 should be avoided.  Rather, I have sent Redhook Beer down from heaven for 
 your consumption, and Redhook is a Holy Beer, and should gladly be accepted 
 by all those of you who are true followers.  If thou wishest not to consume 
 the Redhook, please send it to my follower Jim Andrews, and he will, uh...he 
 will distribute it to true followers who wish to consume.  

 Commandment number 3:

 Thou shalt not treat other people in a shitty way.  For treating other 
 people in a shitty way shall be considered shitty, and will be looked upon 
 very shittily from up high here, in this after-life place; this place with 
 mountains made of pretzels, streets made of pizza, and a river flowing with 
 Redhook.  And another river flowing with Guinness and Harp, which maketh a 
 nice black and tan when gathered for the purpose of consumption.  But I 
 digresseth.

 Commandment number 4:

 Thou shalt not operate machinery NOR shalt thou driveth an automobileth 
 after having consumed the holy sacrament (That being Redhook beer, for those 
 of you who just tuned in...) for these things shall be considered shitty 
 equal to, say, treating someone shittily.  And these things will be frowned 
 upon greatly, and cause much consternation up here in this after-life place.
 And upon consuming the holy sacrament, thou wilt be exempt from any stupid 
 things thou sayest, but not if thou...er, thee...oh christ.  If you drink 
 Redhook Beer, and drive not, you will not be held accountable for any Stupid 
 Things you say or do.  But if, on the other hand, you drink things which are 
 considered unholy, like wine-coolers, your friends shall video-tape 
 everything you say and do, including the Stupid Things, and they shall play 
 back the tape at all parties and gatherings held in your presence, thus 
 causing you great consternation and embarrassment.

      Now, unfortunately, the connection went bad after god spaketh these 
 four commandments in my general direction, just after he muttered something 
 about "This never would have happenethed when Ma Bell was still in one holy 
 union, I find myself wishing to switcheth back, for I have not seen the 
 savings promised by the various charlatans and snake-oil peddlers who have 
 brought forth long-distance companies."
      So, I will try to get in touch with our deity over the course of the 
 next month, and see if I can extract the other seven commandments from him.  
 And his name.  That could be important.  You'd THINK that he'd just get a 
 home page on the Web, like everyone else.
      Oh, wait a second.  An E-Mail just arrived from him:

     "I have gone to the neighbor's house, and with the help of their child, 
     who is wise in the ways of the Internet, am able to send you this 
     message.  I have not the time to give you the other seven commandments, 
     for the child wisheth to continue his sojourn in a place which he calls 
     'alt.binaries.pictures.erotica.geriatrics' and I shall not keep him from 
     his journey.  I wished only to tell you of Hell, so that followers may 
     know the penalty of doing Bad Stuff.  Hell shall be a place devoid of 
     fun stuff to do, and shall have a river flowing with Budweiser and Mint 
     Flavored Wine-coolers, all mixed together and quite nasty to the taste.  
     And there shall be great vomiting and brushing of teeth.  But upon the 
     toothbrushes shall not be tooth paste, but rather 'Preparation H' which 
     shall not provide relief from the noxious flavours and which shall 
     indeed be quite awful.  Upon every television shall be Republican 
     Primary stump speeches, both Past and Present.  And 'Jim and Tammy Faye 
     Bakker' re-runs.  That is all."

     Well, I guess that sums it up for this month.  Old what's-it's-name has 
 spoken.  So, once again, the general call goes out for suggestions, both for 
 the name of our deity, and for any of the other seven commandments, in case 
 I can't get ahold of said deity over the next month.  I'm off to go partake 
 in the holy sacrament.  I suggest you do the same, unless you want to end 
 up in hell!  See ya next month!

 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------
 Mr. Andrews would appreciate any suggestions you might have as to a name for
 the Diety or commandments or how to get really good tax breaks out of this
 scam.  Send those suggestions to him at jimndrws@serv.net as soon as a the
 burning bush is finished passing them along to you.  And happy Redhook 
 Friday to you and yours.
 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------
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    THE DEBRIS FIELD!  A mixed bag of stuff, things and misc. items!                    



	    SPIRITS OF THE DEAD
	    By Edgar Allan Poe 
	    (Written in 1827)

      Thy soul shall find itself alone
      'Mid dark thoughts of the grey tomb-stone;
      Not one, of all the crowd, to pry
      Into thine hour of secrecy.
 
      Be silent in that solitude,
	Which is not loneliness- for then
      The spirits of the dead, who stood
	In life before thee, are again
      In death around thee, and their will
      Shall overshadow thee; be still.
 
      The night, though clear, shall frown,
      And the stars shall not look down
      From their high thrones in the Heaven
      With light like hope to mortals given,
      But their red orbs, without beam,
      To thy weariness shall seem
      As a burning and a fever
      Which would cling to thee for ever.
 
      Now are thoughts thou shalt not banish,
      Now are visions ne'er to vanish;
      From thy spirit shall they pass
      No more, like dew-drop from the grass.
 
      The breeze, the breath of God, is still,
      And the mist upon the hill
      Shadowy, shadowy, yet unbroken,
      Is a symbol and a token.
      How it hangs upon the trees,
      A mystery of mysteries!
 
	   - The End -


There's so much comedy on television.  Does that cause comedy in the streets?
   
		- Dick Cavett


I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I
hate plants.  

		- A. Whitney Brown

		
	LYCANS IN LOVE IN THE ROADSIDE CIRCUS

	With but one closed eye look close upon the night
	Where all deadly gestures never fail to excite 
	Those lingering in the Chamber of Love.

	Tossed about by the fury of passion,
	Engaged in tribute to the mating season,
	The sounds and scents and sights thereof.

			The grind of furred flesh, 
			Flank against flank,
			Breath silent and harsh,
			His muzzle nuzzled
			Into her back.

			Her foreclaws scrape scarred floor
			--marks of Love, seasons past--
			Her head up, mouth open, eyes wide,
			Neck twisted till teeth meet.

			The smell... of pink blood-swollen flesh.

			But their eyes wander, 
			Watch in return,
			Glimmering in the romance of captivity.
	
	You turn home and forget, in bliss of memory,
	All beasts caged up for human sanctity,
	Civilized intellect to dream of.

	But dream through the season 
	Of freedom, snapping locks and instinctual reason,
	Of moon-silvered body that twists through bars,
	Small new eyes that glimmer like stars, 
	In the sexual dark of your room.  
	It's nothing to fear--no worry.  There to perform,
	Small jaws driven by a passion of fury--
	It's only a child, newly born from the Chamber of Love.

		- J.C. Hendee
		

Another similarity is that Rush Limbaugh and Barney are both purple, or would
be if someone had the good sense to wrap some piano wire around Rush's neck..
		
		- unknown
 

Some mornings, it's just not worth chewing through the leather straps.
	
		- Emo Phillips


	    
	    THE HAUNTED PALACE
	    by Edgar Allan Poe
 
       In the greenest of our valleys
	 By good angels tenanted,
       Once a fair and stately palace-
	 Radiant palace- reared its head.
       In the monarch Thought's dominion-
	 It stood there!
       Never seraph spread a pinion
	 Over fabric half so fair!
 
       Banners yellow, glorious, golden,
	 On its roof did float and flow,
       (This- all this- was in the olden
	 Time long ago,)
       And every gentle air that dallied,
	 In that sweet day,
       Along the ramparts plumed and pallid,
	 A winged odor went away.
 
       Wanderers in that happy valley,
	 Through two luminous windows, saw
       Spirits moving musically,
	 To a lute's well-tuned law,
       Round about a throne where, sitting
	 (Porphyrogene!)
       In state his glory well-befitting,
	 The ruler of the realm was seen.
 
       And all with pearl and ruby glowing
	 Was the fair palace door,
       Through which came flowing, flowing, flowing,
	 And sparkling evermore,
       A troop of Echoes, whose sweet duty
	 Was but to sing,
       In voices of surpassing beauty,
	 The wit and wisdom of their king.
 
       But evil things, in robes of sorrow,
	 Assailed the monarch's high estate.
       (Ah, let us mourn!- for never morrow
	 Shall dawn upon him desolate!)
       And round about his home the glory
	 That blushed and bloomed,
       Is but a dim-remembered story
	 Of the old time entombed.
 
       And travellers, now, within that valley,
	 Through the red-litten windows see
       Vast forms, that move fantastically
	 To a discordant melody,
       While, like a ghastly rapid river,
	 Through the pale door
       A hideous throng rush out forever
	 And laugh- but smile no more.

		- The End -


I regret to say that we of the FBI are powerless to act in cases of
oral-genital intimacy, unless it has in some way obstructed interstate
commerce.  

		- J. Edgar Hoover


If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving an infant's
life, she will choose to save the infant's life without even considering if
there are men on base.  

		- Dave Barry

			
 "Take the case of the ant and the grasshopper: The grasshopper played
 all summer while the ant worked and saved.  When winter came, the 
 grasshopper had nothing, but the ant complained of chest pains.  Life 
 is hard for insects.  And don't think the mice were having any fun, either."

			- Woody Allen
			

And Jesus said unto them, "And whom do you say that I am?"

They replied, "You are the eschatological manifestation of the ground of
our being, the ontological foundation of the context of our very selfhood
revealed."  

And Jesus replied, "What?"

	     
		       The Pumpkin Grins
			  by Magthorn

   So many things we see with our mind.  Things that are real.
   Others that are not so.  It comes to us at some point of our
   lives that we must separate dreams from reality.  Is it age?
   Is the brain so saturated with decades of input that it
   craves snippets of the past to ease the tension constant
   creativity causes?

   It is an ill wind that blows gently through times forgotten
   and makes us seek them.  All pain associated with events
   fade.  Noise filters extraordinaire knock down anxiety
   peaks, averaging them with the increase in price of gas.  We
   see others desperate to escape the same experience we had
   and failing.  We laugh as others confront the fear hiding
   darkly in the closet.  That same closet that woke us in cold
   sweats seeing fluorescing eyes of the Nazgul of our youth.
   Graven images of Gollum's past and present send odors
   through our dreams.

   New visions of hell come to us from the concentration camps
   of aids sufferers, abandoned by the oh-so-godlike Christian
   coalition and their government lackey's.  Let the witch hunt
   begin.  Send cruise missiles against the clinics that remove
   that baby they wouldn't think to adopt from a lifetime in
   hell.  Welcome to the new nightmares.  Strapped to a chair
   you must watch the video of MTV and the sound of Lawrence
   Welk.  Which is the reality now?

   Trick or treat, sweet baby, I don't know where you been.  I
   won't touch you now, gotta keep them separated.  Can't
   smoke, can't drink, can't eat hamburger, can't drive 55.  A
   momentary lapse of reason and we're talking about your
   generation.  The pendulum swings its wide arc, now catching
   you when even the vegetables scream. Have you tied your own
   rope and done the dance of deception?

   You are now before Yama, King of the Dead. In vain will you
   try to lie, and to deny or conceal the evil deeds you have
   done.  The Judge holds up before you the shining mirror of
   Karma, wherein all your deeds are reflected.

   Can you stand your own reflection?  Is it your true
   reflection or is it one of many people you have listened to
   when you knew better?  Trick or treat-whose soul shall we
   eat?

   Thou art about to experience hell's Reality in the Bardo
   state, wherein all things are like the void and cloudless
   sky, and your naked, spotless intellect is like unto a
   transparent vacuum without circumference or center.

   The foul odor of your dreams offend.  Prepare yourself for
   the hell of your own making or find your own reality and
   hold it to you.  Toy with chaos and you are lost.  Trick or
   treat?  Need I repeat?

   Hell is full of musical amateurs: music is the brandy of the
   damned.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------
				   
 
	   E-MAIL ADDRESSES FOR CONTACTING COSMIK DEBRIS' WRITERS

		      
	       DJ Johnson (Editor)......moonbaby@serv.net
	       James Andrews............jimndrws@serv.net
	       Louise Johnson...........aquaria@serv.net
	       coLeSLAw.................coleslaw@greatgig.com
	       Scott Wedel..............syzygy@cyberspace.com
	       Andrew Ian Feinberg......afeinber@panix.com
	       Steven Leith.............leith@wolfenet.com
			    http://www.wolfenet.com/~leith             
	       Steve Marshall...........MHND71F@prodigy.com
	       The Platterpuss..........Plattrpuss@aol.com
	       Magthorn.................Magthorn@aol.com
	       The Old Man..............fridrich@moose.eire.net


	       Cosmik Debris' WWW site...http://www.greatgig.com/cosmikdebris
	       Subscription requests.....moonbaby@serv.net
	       Great Gig In The Sky BBS..206-935-8486

---------------------------------------------------------------------------- 

 With special thanks to the following people and organizations...

 ServNet, our outstanding Internet providers.

 NeoSoft Corp, for the use of "NeoBook," the amazing program that Cai 
 Campbell used to make those cool .exe versions of Cosmik Debris.

 Cai Campbell, for making those cool .exe versions of Cosmik Debris and
 then letting us store them on his homepage!  Whatta guy! 

 Don Dill, who lets us borrow "Stress Man," his cool cartoon (Seen in
 Editor's Notes).

 Blair Buscareno, editor of Teen Scene, for always having answers to DJ's
 zine related questions.
 
 And finally, Jim Andrews, who does a whole bunch of stuff I don't understand
 day in and day out that somehow all comes together to be the knockout HTML
 version of Cosmik Debris.  He also does the rest of our WWW site with flair.

 - DJ 

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

