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               I S S U E # 8:   J A N U A R Y   1 9 9 6 
=============================================================================

                DJ Johnson.................Editor (On Valium)
                Louise Johnson.............Assistant Editor
                                           Keeper Of The Debris
                Jim Andrews................Web Site Editor
                                           Brainstormin' Buddy
                coLeSLaw...................Artist/Mad Scientist

                         - The Cosmik Writers -

                Jim Andrews..................Urbania (On Vacation)         
                coLeSLAw.....................Record Reviews
                Drew Feinberg................Drew's Views (On Vacation Too)
                David Fenigsohn..............Music & Film
                Steven Leith.................Political & Between Zero & One
                Steve Marshall...............Music & Record Reviews
                The Platterpuss..............Record Reviews
                                
----------------------------------------------------------------------------

                   T A B L E   O F   C O N T E N T S


  EDITOR'S NOTES - Welcoming a new writer

  MATCHBOOK SHANNON: Cuddle-Punk From The Heartland.  The Omaha band
      discusses their unique brand of pop-punk, the delicate balance
      of school and music and...what the hell "cuddle-punk" is!

  MAN OR ASTRO-MAN'S TOUR DIARY (pt2) - Let that crazed alien drummer,
      Birdstuff, take you along for the ride as the band heads west
      with a new spaceman in tow.
      
  MOBILE FIDELITY SOUND LABS: An Audiophile's Dream (pt2) - Steve
      Marshall takes a look at another batch of releases from the
      label that makes audiophiles drool.


  RECORD REVIEWS - Music of all kinds, including a trio of tech CD's,
      mainstream releases, punk, surf and the new release by this
      months interviewed band Matchbook Shannon.

  MOVIE REVIEW - "Leaving Las Vegas" may just take a few statues home
      this year.  David Fenigsohn gives you an overview of a difficult
      yet excellent film.

  BOOK REVIEW - "The Riverman."  Inside the mind of Ted Bundy as he
      attempted to help police apprehend The Green River Killer.

  BETWEEN ZERO AND ONE: The Karma Meter Is Running Out.  Steven Leith
      on the use of military force to prevent genocide.

  DJ RANTS! - Tying Tongues & Zipping Lips On The Hill.  They're at it
      again in Washington DC...trying to dictate morality and stuff a
      sock in the Internet's electronic mouth.  
  
  THE DEBRIS FIELD - Another random scattering of poems, quotes, and
      basically anything that doesn't fit elsewhere.

  HOW TO CONTACT US WITHOUT ACTUALLY HAVING TO TOUCH US - Our
      e-mail addresses.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

 EDITOR'S NOTES

      Happy new year!  Welcome to what has been the most difficult issue
 to "put to bed" yet.  I write these notes at 10:30pm on January 5th.
 89 minutes before my self-imposed deadline!  A deadline I've managed to
 psych myself into seeing as the most important thing in the entire known
 universe.  Will I make it?  Will this issue be cut and pasted together
 in time to hit the subscription distro-list before the clock strikes 12?
 And most important...what will happen if it isn't?
      Nothing, but people with my personality type (obsessive-repulsive)
 are driven to this kind of behavior.  We keep kicking no matter what is
 thrown in the path, though, and that's probably good.  This month, for
 instance, we have had so much thrown in the path that it became difficult
 to see anything remotely RESEMBLING a path.  I'd tell you what those
 thrown items were, but I'm trying to keep the ascii version under a meg.
 The bottom line is...I think it'll make it.  Juuuuust under the wire.
 From now on, though, I've got a new attitude.  Cosmik Debris will come out
 on the 5th of each month...or thereabouts.  Okay, what else...
      We have a new writer to welcome.  David Fenigsohn checks in this
 month with an outstanding review of the film "Leaving Las Vegas."  Check
 it out!  I've been wanting movie reviews for a long time, but the last
 new film I saw was "The Love Bug," so you know I'm not the one to write 'em.
 David also writes music reviews and features.  Look for more from him soon.
      One last thing to mention... Jim Andrews, our HTML guy (and writer and
 brainstorming buddy), took a month off from the HTML duties to design a
 few dozen pages for other folks.  He made wonderful templates for me to
 use so I could do the HTML myself for a month.  Despite the templates,
 I'm damned near worn out from that job, and I have a brand new appreciation
 for what he does.  Thanks, Jimbo.  Are ya back yet???  Well, that's about
 it.  Hope you enjoy the first issue of 1996.

   - Deej

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

----------------------------------------------------------------------------


MATCHBOOK SHANNON: CUDDLE-PUNK FROM THE HEARTLAND
Interview by DJ Johnson

     Omaha, Nebraska.  Not exactly LA or The Big Apple, as a music mecca.
But there are some interesting doings there.  Records by several Omaha
bands are starting to be heard elsewhere in the world.  Possibly the most
interesting of those bands is Matchbook Shannon, three guys who describe
their music as "cuddle-punk."  In reality, their music covers a range too
broad to label.  Sometimes pop, sometimes punk, sometimes psychedelic, but
always creative and emotional.  As this is being written, many college radio
stations are beginning to play their music.  Currently living in Iowa City
where two of them attend the University of Iowa, Jon Hansen (guitar), Corey
Beckman (bass) and Doug Kabourek (drums) took an hour out of their busy
schedules to talk about their Landphil Records CD debut, "Sob Stories."


                    *     *     *     *     *


CD: What's the music scene like in Omaha?

Doug: It's getting pretty big, I think.

Jon: Yeah, there's some other really cool bands from there.  It's really
     the Lincoln-Omaha scene, because they're only an hour apart.  Have
     you heard Mercy Rule?

CD: Oh yeah.

Jon: They're from Lincoln.  Of course, Matthew Sweet's from Lincoln.  And
     then there's a bunch of cool...more underground bands, like Frontier
     Trust.  They're a very cool band to look for.  They just put out a
     new CD and record.  And then Mousetrap's another one from Omaha that
     could be going places.

Doug: There's two other bands that just got signed to other labels...one
      of them's called Commander Venus and the other ones called Cursive.

CD: Would you consider any of these bands your contemporaries, as far as
    style goes?

Doug: I don't know.  I think we take parts of a lot of them, like Mousetrap.
      But I don't know if we're close to...well they're all a lot more punk
      than we are.  Well, Commander's pretty poppy...

Jon:  I would say if there's anyone we've really drawn from, it would be
      Mousetrap, because we've known them for a really long time, and they're
      an influential band around the area.

CD: How long have you been playing together?

Jon: How long have we been playing together, Corey?

Corey: About 5 or 6 years.

Jon: Even before that.  Probably about 8 or 9 years.  And then Doug...we
     started playing with Doug...coming up on 2 years?

Doug: Summer of '94, I guess.

CD: A couple of you are in school now [U of Iowa], is that right?

Jon: Yeah, Corey and I both are.

CD:  How hard is it to balance school and the band?

Doug: It sucks, man, I'll tell you!  All I do is work at Best Western, and
      I have all this free time and no one else, especially Jon,  can ever
      do anything to practice.  It's tough.  We could practice about 2 days
      a week last semester.

CD: Do you end up doing your practicing live in front of an audience?

Doug: Yeah, a lot of the time.

Jon: Sometimes it seems like that, yeah.  It's mostly hard with touring.
     We've managed to get an album out while we're both in school, but it's
     hard to tour on breaks, because you can't really play college towns
     because everyone's on break, and that seems like that's kind of where
     our market is right now, so we can only do 4 day weekend tours and
     stuff.

CD: How much school do you have left?

Jon: I'm going to be a senior this year.

Corey: Yeah, I'm going to be a junior.

CD: This is a really strong album.  What happens if it does real well and you
    have to choose between school and touring?  Where are the priorities set?

Corey: I'd like to be able to balance the two.  I know a lot of bands that are
      bigger than us do.  Like Mercy Rule.  They all work 4 days a week and
      tour on weekends.

Doug: I think you guys are pretty much putting school first until you
      graduate, isn't that kinda what you were thinking, Jon?

Jon: Yeah.  Like the guys in Frontier Trust, that's what they're doing.

Doug: Yeah, and Man Or Astro-Man?  Aren't they all in school?

Jon: Oh yeah.  The first time I saw them play, I talked to them, and that was
     actually kind of inspiring, because that was when we were just starting
     to get together, and they're doing these national tours and they're in
     school.  And they worked it out, you know, and I thought, well, we can
     make this work until we're out of school.

Corey: If we could tour and make enough money to support ourselves doing that,
      I'd take a year off and finish later, but I don't think that we could
      really do that right now.

Jon: Yeah, if Madonna called us and said "let's go on a national tour," I
     think I'd just take a year off.  (laughs)  When that happens, we'll
     worry about it.

CD: I think there may be a trend now toward more meaningful songs...Stories
    in songs as opposed to the more hormonal stuff.  Do you think the public
    is getting bored with the "getting drunk and getting laid" genre?

Jon: I'd like to think so.

Doug: I hope so.

Jon: I always think that people kind of like made this split between the
     visceral and the intellectual, like you can't be smart and party.
     I don't think those two have to be seperated, necessarily.  It seems
     to me rock and roll has always picked up on the sex and the drinking.
     Rock and roll can be about intelligence, too.
                                                 
CD: You describe your music as "Cuddle-Punk."  How do you define that?

Doug: I saw an article on a band called Crayon, and they called them in
      this article "Cuddle-Pop," and they were all dressed in bear suits,
      and I had just written this song "Kare Bear."  I go "Well, that's
      like a cuddle-pop song, you know?"  But we're not that poppy on
      stage...we're a little more punk.  But the songs are cuddly, some of
      them.  Some of MINE are.  ALL mine are, you know, cuz I did "Not The
      Same" and "Kare Bear" and...uh..what other song did I write?  "Sob
      Story?"  So they're all kinda cuddly...though that one's kinda mean...

Jon: Well, they're ALL kinda mean...

Doug: But they SOUND cuddly.  Jon came up with the Punk part, so it's
      cuddle-punk.

CD: Do you consider some of your music EMO?  Like "Rebekah Song."  I swear,
    that song rips me to pieces.  And also "Sob Story..."
    
Doug: "Kare Bear" is very emotional for me, and I know "Rebekah" is real
      emotional for Jon.

Jon: Our first album was really emotional, too, I'd say.  That label "EMO,"
     I've heard it applied to a very few bands.

Doug: I thought he said CHEMO!! (laughs)

Jon: Well Doug had that prostate problem a while ago. (laughs) But I've
     heard that label applied to only a certain number of bands, and it
     also seems to entail a kind of sound as well as lyrics and the way
     it's been applied.  No one's ever applied it to us...I've never
     thought to use it, but maybe, I guess, it would work.  It does fit,
     I guess.

CD: Are most of your songs written about real life experiences?

Doug: All mine are from real life experiences.

Corey: Yeah, I guess so...

Jon: That, and stuff that I read, I think, is my other influence.

CD: Well, with that in mind, I'm curious about a few songs.  "Deep End,"
    for example.  Who wrote that one?

Jon: Well, Corey wrote all that music, and I came up with the lyrics for it,
     cuz sometimes it'll be like somebody will write something and be stumped
     on lyrics so somebody else will contribute that, you know.  I guess
     when I write lyrics, a lot of times it'll start with a personal
     experience -- like that started about this one person I know in Omaha,
     but by the end of the song I'm thinking kind of more generally. When
     I sing that song now, I think of it as being kind of a song for
     scenesters the world over.  In Omaha, in the old market, which is like
     the downtown area, there's this certain Godfather's where everyone goes
     and sits on the steps, and I go by there and some of the people I used
     to hang out with when I was 13 still sit there, and I just think "Man,
     do something with your life!"  And I guess I think of the people in
     front of Godfathers when I sing that...(laughs)

Doug: (laughing) That's good, Jon.

CD: This one's dedicated to the people sitting in front of Godfathers...

Jon: Didn't we say that one time at The Cog?

Doug: You had that whole idea for the video...driving down the street by
      Godfathers.

CD: I'm curious about "Lifebeater," too.  That's a great lyric... "I could
    be your personal savior - I could be your personal curse - I could
    be your daily devotion - Yeah, I'm sure that you could do much worse."
    Who is that about?

Jon: Well, that's actually about...hmm...it's kind of inspired by, um...

Doug: (whispering) ...gotta be careful, now...

Jon: I know! (laughs)  It's a song that..we don't want it to make enemies,
     but it was kind of inspired by the lead singer of Mousetrap...

Doug: ...who is also a big influence on us.

Jon: Yeah, and that's kind of like...that song is like a "I'm drawn to you
     and kind of disgusted by you at the same time" kind of idea.  And he's
     a friend of mine, and he's been an influence on us...and he's also
     kind of misogynistic and kind of violent.  So it's about disagreeing
     with parts of somebody and being influenced by other parts of him.
     Pat Buchanan is his name, as a matter of fact...kind of ironic. (laughs)

CD: One of the things that's really different about your music is the use of
    sounds...unusual sounds...chaotic sounds.  Like "Sex Wax" is just loaded
    with them. And the string section behind "Rebekah Song" really cements
    the song in your memory.  How did your practice of doing that develop?

Doug: Tell 'im what the "Sex Wax" organ part was SUPPOSED to be like!

Corey: How did we come up with that?  I don't remember...

Jon: Remember?  We wanted to get that...Corey wrote "Sex Wax," and we wanted
     to get that Dr. Dre like analog organ sound, you know?  (laughs from
     all) We couldn't quite get that analog organ sound, so we settle for the
     Deep Purple organ at the last minute.  I don't know, I think a lot of
     those things come from...we've got a 4-track and we do a lot of tape
     experimentation.  We like to turn things backwards and stuff.  Like
     that string section [Rebekah Song] is actually a sample that's been
     turned backwards.  And actually the whole sound of "Sex Wax" also came
     from when we did it on the 4-track, we screamed so loud that we
     completely blew out the 4-track.  It was just fuzz on the choruses,
     and then we got in the studio and we just tried to duplicate that as
     much as we could.  So a lot of that comes from tape experimentation.

CD: Did you pretty much have everything done on 4-track and then just go in
    the studio and use that as a guide?

Corey: Yeah, most of it.

Jon: Some of the really complicated ones, we couldn't, just because there
     were so many things going on in the song.

Corey: Like "Different."

Jon: Yeah, like "Different.." We had no idea how it was going to sound.  I
     had all these ideas in my head, but didn't really know how it was going
     to work out.  And we had a version of "I (Tonic)," but it didn't have
     all of the samples and the choir in it.

Doug: Yeah, actually, the "Tonic" version was just you doing it yourself,
      playing drums and everything.  We never actually did it as a band.

Jon: But MOST of them we all worked out on 4-track as much as we could, but
     usually our harmony parts are complex enough that we can't do it all on
     4-track.

CD: But by the time you get to the studio, you probably have a pretty good
    idea of what you want to do.  You probably save a lot of money in studio
    time that way, right?

Jon: Yeah, and we needed to because we maximize studio time experimenting,
     too, like trying to get these things to go backwards. (laughs) Trying
     to make up these sounds, so we wanted to use as much time as we could
     for stuff like that, so we definitely wanted to get the songs built
     before we went in.

CD: Sometimes your vocals are off-kilter, sometimes it's an instrument...
    something always seems to be askew...which brings us back to the sounds
    again.  That seems to be your trademark.  Has it always been that way,
    even on your first album?

Doug: Not nearly as much, I would say.

Jon: The first album was all 4-track, so we didn't have as much stuff to
     practice.

Doug: I don't think we tried to experiment nearly as much...

Corey: Yeah, our first album was pretty straight forward and...kind of twangy,
       little more mellow.

Doug: I wouldn't say we did any of that trademark weirdness.  I can't think
      of a song that had anything like that in it.

CD: You mentioned to me before that you don't have a sampler.  How does the
    live show differ from the record because of that.

Jon: Well, we've been thinking of having more tape-loops that Doug could
     operate...

Doug: I know I could do that one in "Rebekah," because I don't play it.

Jon: As far as string sections and samples go, they usually just get dropped
     live and we try to make up for it with energy.  I think the majority
     of the music does rest in what we sing and what we play, so a lot of...
     like "Lifebeater" has that sound because it's in two different keys at
     once...the guitar solo and the vocals are in two different keys, and
     we can still do that live.

CD: How much overdubbing do you do?

Jon: Really very little.  I mean, as far as guitar goes, in the studio we
     doubled guitars just to make it sound fat, but I mean just for the
     sound quality.

Doug: Yeah, the only song we really overdubbed a lot was "Different," at the
      end, I think.

Jon: Yeah, "Different" is like 16 guitars, but generally, like solos and
     stuff, I just generally don't overdub, because we want to be able to
     do stuff live.  We made some harmonies bigger in the studio, but
     generally we try to do harmonies that Corey and I can do live.

CD: So the three of you basically produced the album yourselves...

Jon: Yeah, we were pretty active, I think, in the mixing and everything.

CD: The credit on the CD sleeve is to Matt Griffith, but he told me that
    you did the producing and were just nice enough to list him there.

Jon: Well, he gave us all the money, so...

Doug: ...gave us the money.  He made it happen, in a very real way.

Jon: We're very appreciative of Matt.

Doug: I think it was mostly AJ (Mogis) in the studio.  He was just great.

CD: New bands tend to over-produce, I'm sure you're aware of that...

Doug: Oh yeah.

CD: ...What's great about your CD is it's so sparse.  You knew when to lay
    off and when not to, and then again, "Different" has SLEIGH bells at
    the end.  Were you conciously trying not to over-produce?

Doug: I think we were like terrified of reverb, actually.  There's this
      production company in Omaha called Eclipse that seems to put reverb
      on everything, and as far as I'm concerned, I was just terrified
      of putting too much reverb on everything.

Jon: And Corey and I had had some...like, our other studio experiences were
     pretty bad.  We cut some pretty over-produced records, I think.  They
     were kind of under-over-produced.  Those recordings, I think, we almost
     want to bury. (laughs)

CD: I'm curious about "Double Joe," a Simon Joyner tune.  I gather from the
    liner notes that you're all rather fond of him.

Jon: Oh, God, yeah! I think he's, like, necessary!  He's a fantastic
     songwriter.  Anything by him is fantastic.  He's been a big influence
     on us, I think, lyrically.  Within a day, we could probably work up a
     cover album of him, I imagine.  We just know all of his songs.

CD: I'd personally say your interpretation of Double Joe is more powerful
    than the original...just the open looseness of it.  Has he heard that?

Jon: Yeah, he likes it!  He made a comment about how that's almost how he
     envisioned it, which is what I hear with Simon Joyner.  He's a real
     folk-punk writer.

CD: Are you interested in doing some other covers in the future?

Jon: Well, we like doing covers...not that we'd wanna be a cover band.  We
     like doing like one cover a show and that's the limit.  I think the
     first cover we worked out was a Go-Go's cover - Our Lips Are Sealed
     loud as hell...Madonna...and Prince...Cindy Lauper...We pull out really
     poppy covers because they sound really punk when we do them.  If we
     did punk covers, it wouldn't be as much of a change.

CD: You guys seem to have a knack for the two and a half...three minute pop
    song, while keeping it punky.

Corey: Yeah, that's how we like it.  I mean, I don't care for really long
      songs.  A lot of the Omaha bands do really short songs.  Like Frontier
      Trust, all their songs are a minute and a half per ditty.  Every set
      they play is usually about a half hour long.

Jon: Yeah, you can do it really high energy when you come off that way. What
     I find, in general, when you write something...the best way to make it
     better is to trim off the excess rather than pile on more stuff you
     don't need.

CD: You're probably sick to death of this question...but what's the story
    behind the name Matchbook Shannon?

Jon: You wanna go for it, one of you guys?

Corey: Go ahead, Doug.

Doug: Me?  Okay...Well...we were all sitting in a Perkins a couple summers
      ago when we first formed.  We were looking for a name and we couldn't
      come up with anything good, and...

Jon: We were talking about it at the time, too...

Doug: Yeah, and the waitress comes over and she hands us a matchbook that
      she said this girl that was on the phone, she had seen Jon when she
      came in...she asked the waitress to deliver this matchbook, and it
      had her name in it.  Her name was Shannon, and I guess she wanted Jon
      to call her.  We tried to call her the next day, and stuff, and we
      kept trying to call her but we could never get ahold of her.  And we
      were just like "Let's call our band Matchbook Shannon, I guess."
      Because we were looking for a name right then, and we just thought it
      sounded cool.

CD: Did you ever find her?

Doug: No, we haven't ever found her.  That's why she's so mysterious.

Jon: She's actually on the guest list of any show.

Doug: I think Corey actually coined that name.

CD: Is this album out on Vinyl, or do you have any singles?

Jon: No.  Corey and I were just talking about that the other day.  If we
     could find someone to put up some vinyl for us, we'd like to have
     some vinyl pressing out there.

CD: Is Landphil not set up for that?

Jon: Right now, no.  Right now, he's basically poured money into the CD
     because in a lot of ways, in todays market place, that is the most
     accessible to the most people.  Vinyl is still, you know, the music
     afficionados.  Right now, we have no vinyl.

CD: If you were going to put out a single, which songs would you pick?

Jon: Actually, we were going to do a 12 song album and then put out
     "Lifebeater" and "Double Joe."

Doug: I guess it was Mike, though...Mike Mogis, AJ's brother, just talked
      us into it. (laughs)

Jon: (laughing) Yeah!  The producers just liked "Lifebeater" so much they
     were like "No, you just gotta put this on the album."

CD: Jon, when I talked to you the other day, you mentioned Gertrude Stein,
    who is an author I know nothing about.  You mentioned that she influenced
    "I (Tonic)."  What's the connection?

Jon: She was a writer in Paris around 1913, and she was one of those writers
     who was ahead of her time, and people still don't understand her, kind
     of like James Joyce, and she's just one of my favorite writers.  I think
     a lot of the things that I read and a lot of literary ideas go into
     lyric and songwriting ideas, actually.  For most people who would pick
     it up, it just looks almost like gibberish, cuz she wanted to destroy
     plot.  She wanted to destroy subject.  And those are kind of the ideas
     that are going through that song and that also influenced me to try to
     have it not settle into a single key.  The whole idea of questioning
     the scientific approach to things...that there can be one answer to
     anything, that maybe everything is really a complex issue of several
     possible answers.  In a sense, that guitar solo kind of sounds like
     gibberish when you listen to it.  If you listen to it, you can hear
     what's going on.  There are two different ideas that are going on, and
     each one of them makes sense alone.  You put them together and it just
     doesn't.  And to me, when I listen to that, that's what I like is that
     I listen to it and I'm confused.  I like finding musical ideas that I
     don't understand right away.  I guess that's what I like about the
     literature, too.  I read it and I think "What was this person possibly
     thinking?"  And then you got to try to figure that out.

CD: Well, here comes your standard cliche end-of-the-interview question: What
    can we expect next from Matchbook Shannon?

Corey: Expect us to come play in your town.

Jon: We're comin' to your town...We're gonna party ya down...we're an
     American band.

Corey: That's your cliche answer.  (laughs) But we just want to tour and
      support this album the best we can.

Doug:  I don't think the next thing is gonna be MTV, I can guarantee that.

Jon: It's progressing, and it's progressing well.  The reviews we've been
     getting are great, and we've been getting airplay and everything.  And
     we're kind of glad that it's progressing consistantly and relatively
     slowly.  We'd be kind of nervous if we were some big smash hit right
     away, because those tend to disappear real quick, too.  So we're looking
     to continue to build momentum slowly.  Like a rolling stone gathers
     momentum.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

 MAN OR ASTRO-MAN? -  USA TOUR DIARY
 By Birdstuff

       Last month our readers were treated to a diary of Man Or Astro-Man's
 European tour, written by the that crazy alien percussion whiz we call
 Birdstuff.  This month, we have one again clocked him over the head and
 stolen another diary, this one detailing their western USA tour, which
 was immediately after the European tour.  So head to the lobby, pick up
 you 3-D specs and enjoy another great read. (DJ)
 

                          *    *    *    *
      

  Head West Young Extraterrestrial.  With only a few days for our fake human
 exteriors to recover from the European Tour, we decided to pan for that
 proverbial tour-collected gold at some 20 venues.  Equipped with a new roadie
 construct, the Branock Device and the new Astro-Utility Outfielder, Dexter X,
 we were on our way through the space-time continuum once again.  The
 following is a reaccountment of the chords we played and the reasons why we
 chose them.
 
 
 Tuesday, July 25
 Venue:  Butchertown Pub
 City:  Louisville, KY
 
  The excellent bonus of transferring Main Brain Cell Center Activity to
 Atlanta is a prevention of the acute "Oh shit, we're going to be yet another
 hour late because of the time change into the Eastern Time Zone" syndrome.
 Every show at the beginning of a US tour is an inevitable study in
 tardiness. We missed our in-store at Ear X-tacy (great place to have one,
 too!).  Late, cramped and with redefined tour positions, we were set to spew
 the Rocket Sauce.  Dexter X really came through like a tried and tested
 X-Wing Fighter would.  Could this be the Space Garnishing that'll send us
 over the edge?
 
 
 Wednesday, July 26
 Venue:  Second Story
 City:  Bloomington, IN
 
  We arrived early for a "live transmissions on college radio" thing.  It was
 a good broadcasting performance except for CoCo's "I'm not really prepared to
 speak, so subconsciously my southern accent really cuts through" downer.  I
 actually accused him of being on tour with the Oakridge Boys instead of being
 that of the Astro-Clan.  Fun show, great crowd, and Dex X rocks again.  What
 more could you want? J. Cougar MCamp showing up on his home turf?  Well, it
 was okay; our feelings weren't hurt.  What's he done that's been worth dick
 since the first side of "American Fool" anyway?  (I didn't just write
 that...)
 
 
 Thursday, July 27
 Venue:  Shank Hall
 City: Milwaukee, WI
 
  We showed up mega-spectacular early at Bill from Rush-Moore Record's house
 (aptly described as a Taco Bell covered in vines).  We slept all day in
 traditional CoCo "wake me up before the year 2000" zombie mode.  Bill was the
 man:  Mexican food, a well-promoted in-store, and Laundry.  Those 3
 components make for a touring band's own little slice of heaven.  Star Crunch
 bought matching chrome telecaster bodies earlier in the day so the future may
 hold a rather reflective guitar attack.  The show itself was not a very
 professional procedure, but it was wild.  Dexter was rightfully served a
 crow-eating dosage about his never breaking strings.  I still can't believe
 he plays naked under his space suit.
 
 
 Friday, July 28
 Venue:  Lounge Ax
 City:  Chicago, IL
 
  Chicago is kind of our home away from home planet.  Our booking agency, The
 Billions Corporation, is there and we have tons of earthlings who have been
 brainwashed into being nice to us centered there.  Our friend Scott Williams,
 who does all our drum head and banner artwork, set up an in-store at
 Wreckless Records for us.  It was more fun than lickin' the old 9-volt.  Mr.
 Dexter X kept getting shocked because his amp wasn't grounded; he's going to
 have to get used to our extreme voltage intake.  The show itself was packed
 to the hilt with earth types making for a Top Ten heat indexer for us
 Astro-Hoppers.  The show ended with 2 guitars and no bass because of CoCo's
 mind and string numbing attack!  Watch out Jon Spencer!
 
 
 Saturday, July 29
 Venue:  Club DeWash
 City:  Madison, WI
 
  Geezer, this joint was a weird one.  It was a hotel, restaurant, bar, gay
 dance club, live music club, and generally goofy place.  After the show I
 found out that Hot Rod's, the gay club downstairs, was a Jeffery Dahmer hot
 spot;  supposedly the guy we stayed with was friends with the guy who escaped
 from Dahmer and led to his arrest.  Scary stuff - guess there's more than
 just having the government experimenting on your alien anatomy to worry
 about. This was an action-packed show, but I'm tired of the 21 and over bull
 chips.  Four kids drove 8 hours to see us play, which is sick enough, but
 even darker and more sadistic is the fact that we couldn't get them in.  How
 about a 21 and UNDER sometime?
 
 
 Sunday, July 30
 Venue:  7th Street Entry
 City:  Minneapolis, MN
 
  In Hamburg, Germany we took on Soul Asylum, but tonight we dared an even
 greater adversary, Van Halen.  They were playing across the street from us at
 the Civic Center, and I'm sure Eddie was fearing the day his path was to
 inevitably cross that of Star Crunch's, just as the criss-cross lines stretch
 their way over the body of that fabled Kramer.  Dexter's former booking
 agency is from Minneapolis, so he was forced to hold constant, informal
 Supernova press conferences.  During the show, CoCo pulled some rather
 convincing Prince imitations.  By the way, no Mellencamp in Indiana, and no
 Artist Formally Known as Prince in Minneapolis. Are we not gauche or what?
 Anyway, we better have an earth-collapsing show in Moorehead, because as our
 current motto states: "It's all downhill after Bozeman."
 
 
 Monday, July 31
 Venue:  The Coffee Club
 City:  Moorehead, MN
 
  Our ever-reliable tour compadres, The Galaxy Trio, had a brief attack of the
 tour itinerary dysfunction so they thought they weren't playing.  This,
 however, did not coincide with the fliers or the knowledge of the club.
 Their replacement was a film on electrical safety that the Lounge Lizard
 rigged through the P.A.  All the kids actually sat and watched attentively.
 See the benefit of playing all ages shows?  The club was packed again, and
 CoCo had a fine audience-pleasing performance.  He even grabbed a 12-year-old
 kid and carried him around in "King Kong" fashion.  I didn't steal this drum
 stand I wanted for the new electronic drum pads that I got in Minneapolis.
 Good Karma should be waiting, otherwise I wish I had that damn stand!
 
 
 Tuesday, August 1
 Venue:  Filling Station
 City:  Bozeman, MT
 
  The twelve hour drive was like being baked inside a nuclear reactor.  I can
 deal with the length of time and the cramped space, but the lack of a shower
 is unbearable.  I felt like a facelift would have yeilded a Domino's pizza.
 Pee bottles were at maximum capacity by the time we arrived.  Both our radio
 interview and our in-store fell through.  After arriving on campus (where we
 had gone to track down said botched radio interview), Star Crunch and CoCo
 found the building where the guy who wrote "Zen and the Art of Motorcyle
 Maintenance" taught English.  With the realization that today was a
 logistical nightmare that made the Chicago postal system seem organized, we
 headed for the club.  The Filling Station was nuts, or rather it really
 wasn't.  It was totally imaginable...It was just the fact that it wasn't
 something I had ever WANTED to imagine that led me to astonishment.  Ever see
 Patrick Swayze's movie "Roadhouse"?  You know the movie where the bartender
 says to a girl he's fucking in the storage room, "That's right baby, you're
 goin' to be my regular Saturday night thang."?  You know with Jeff Healy
 playing behind a caged stage.  Um...the map says "You are here!"  Why did
 only truck drivers fight in Vietnam?  During soundcheck this guy came up to
 CoCo and said "Look, you're really annoying the fuck out of the patrons.  And
 if you piss off the patrons, then you got a big problem in a bad way."  No
 need for a barroom brawl scene yet, so I called off soundcheck (the P.A.
 sucked anyway).  The clientele for the show completely changed though.  A
 strange mix of mountain-climbing machos and local alternative freaks.  The
 show was wild.  Too much so.  Girls and guys alike were being beat around
 like that head-bopping game you find at the mall arcade.  You could smell the
 testosterone in the high altitude air.  It was stupid.  Dexter ragged on the
 crowd for its mental affiliation with professional wrestling.  We only played
 12 songs.  Afterwards, everyone (slammers included) said they loved the show.
 Fuck this scene.  I blame Alice in Chains for all this.  Honorable mention: 
 John the promoter is a great guy and made us excellent vegetarian tortillas 
 (the only remaining positive feature of this night).
 
 
 Wednesday, August 2
 Day Off
 On the road to Seattle
 
  Nyquil helps you get your zeeze, or whatever the jingle is.  I slept like a
 dead, dirty baby.  I got to (do you like that optimistic phrasing?) drive
 through a good portion of Montana.  It was simply breath-taking (luckily we
 had our emergency respirator units available whenever needed).  It looked
 exactly like those Disney "Wilderness Family" movies that I loved as a kid.
 Well, just seeing the scenery was probably better than growing up in a log
 cabin faced with a hopelessly uncalled for sequel.  Later in the day, we
 drove through the town where "Twin Peaks" and "Northern Exposure" were
 filmed.  We arrived in Grunge City, U.S.A. (actually I think Seattle is a
 great place) to shower up at the house of the Lounge Lizard's Kinko's
 compadre Rosemary.  I separated myself from the group so proper space was
 allowed for everyone to deal with me.  I got a really cool book on the band
 Kraftwerk, and I got a shirt that has the Roger Moore and Chick iron-on but
 says "Star Fucker" instead of "Moonraker".  I love seeing movies by
 myself...it makes me feel like such a fucking loser.  Tonight's pick was "The
 Net."  I thought it was okay - a good story but presented in a mega-boring
 fashion.  Also all I have to say is "To all you internet geeks - get outside
 and expose yourself to harmful UV radiation dorkoid!"
 
 
 Thursday, August 3
 Venue:  Crocodile Cafe
 City:  Seattle, WA
 
  Our first show here nearly 2 years ago was one of the worst Electronic
 Catastrophes this side of a transcontinental brown-out.  Nothing, absolutely
 nothing, worked.  I punched our rental van and left a dent the size of a
 grapefruit in the hood.  We redeemed ourselves earlier this May with a
 charged up Pre-Garage Shock show.  This was set up for the breaking of our
 50/50 chances of success.  We arrived and immediately I was sentenced to Drum
 Hell.  My tom heads were completely dead, my snare sounded like a hollow bag
 of piss, and my drum sticks were more chewed than the edge of a 4th grader's
 homework looseleaf.  Temporarily fixed, by some borrowed goods from the fab
 men of the Galaxy Trio, I settled for mediocrity.  On this tour, most people
 at the clubs thought my "space dork" kit was electronic anyway.  After
 dinner, CoCo took us to the Mr. Mad Scientists' (Dale Travist) laboratory for
 a look at the 8 foot Tesla Coil.  As always, it was amazing.  One million
 volts, jagged flashes of sharp, purple light, and a sound straight out of the
 Death Star destruction scene of "Star Wars."  This is the most intense the
 life of a space rocker gets.  The show was a great package, The Galaxy Trio
 put on yet another fine display of great instrumental rock, and the Smugglers
 were fantastic.  The Smugglers have to be one of the funnest live bands
 inside any space-time continuum!  Our show went well; Dexter X was in fine,
 fine fashion. Then the 10 hours to Portland lay ahead like a distant star
 system, light years away.  The only problem was that our intergalactic vessel
 was a '82 Chevy Ten van.
 
 
 Friday, August 4
 Venue:  Satyricon
 City:  Portland, OR
 
  We drove straight to Portland after the Seattle show in order to get set
 into a more organized Astro-Mind Set.  Chaos was now set into place almost
 like CoCo's leaning tower of electronics.  We arrived in Portland around 7
 a.m. to stay with one of Dexter's friends, Amy. Crash-landing took on a new
 meaning as the four of us transferred our active roles as aliens into that of
 zombies.  Upon my return to consciousness, I prepared (stretching all
 necessary bio-servo mechs) to enter town.  I had a great indian style buffet
 lunch while listening to the ramblings of two guys who were talking about
 running over squirrels in the street.  Two fine shops get the Highest
 Astro-Approval:  Poker Face, a retro clothes, skatewear, vespa scooter,
 hispster paraphenalia store (O.K., maybe I'm biased cause they actually
 stocked Man or Astro-Man? T's); and Dr. Tongue's 3-D House of Collectible
 Toys, thanks to whom I became the proud owner of a Quisp Key Chain and a
 bendable Mr. Peanut figure.  Also, Ozone Records, where we did an in-store,
 was an excellent store with a myriad of 7"'s and fanzines.  This pre-show was
 immensely fun.  I was just getting over a cold and I had snot flying
 everywhere - apologies to anyone looking at the R-Z's in the Used CD rack.
 The show later that night at the Satyricon was also a thrill-soaked blast of
 wanton teenage excitement.  This girl pulled CoCo out in the audience and
 literally beat the shit out of him - I'm talking serious bloody nose.  It was
 an absolute riot.  After the show, the same girl asked the injured Monkey
 Wizard if he wanted to have sex.  To top it all off, one hit super-legend
 Tommy Tutone was out checking the sounds from Astro.
 
 
 Saturday, August 5
 Venue:  Bimbo's 365 Club
 City:  San Francisco, CA
 
  This was supposed to be the climax of this tour.  Bimbo's was a completely
 amazing place.  Swank reaches a new level with this kind of joint.  In the
 '60s Esquivel was contracted to play here.  We got to check out his contract:
 $5,307 a week, 3 shows a day, 6 muscians, 3 female vocalists, and the
 slickest sounds this side of the rings of Saturn.  We all felt out of place
 and out-classed, after all we're just 3 whacked space teens who crashed in 
 the great state of Alabama...oh, yeah, I almost forgot about our California 
 via Cynot 3 drifter, Dexter X.  The planets must have been in perfect 
 alignment because everything that happened the entire day was not in sync 
 with the normal Man or Astro-Man? logistics (i.e. everything actually went
 flawlessly).  Well, except for CoCo leaving every single sample disk in
 Portland.  We bought all our own CDs at Tower, resampled the intros and
 prayed that Fed. Ex. would bring us a more permanent cure when we arrived in
 L.A.  Both the in-store and the show went in sync with our world-conquering
 motives.  1,200+ people ended up coming, and there was a line a block long of
 people who could not enter the entertainment envelope.  I actually felt
 rather absurd.  The whole Man or Astro-Man? project suddenly seemed like a
 miniscule joke that had infested upon itself and gotten way out of hand.
 Still, it was great to see Ken Sanderson, Alabama's only true punk rocker;
 Estrus Head Man Dave Crider; Art Chantry, our main graphic artist, and even
 Jello Biafra who was still bitching about not being on the guest list.
 Geeze, shell out some of that "Bedtime for Democracy" royalty cash!
 
 Sunday, August 6
 Venue:  F/X
 City:  San Jose, CA
 
  If Man or Astro-Man? was a children's television program this episode would
 be titled "CoCo's Big Day!"  Sonic, a skateboard company in San Jose, were
 going to have the Man or Astro-Man? decks ready to fly.  After hearing 2 1/2
 months of monkey-speak, we were finally going to see what CoCo had set into
 motion.  They looked astro-amazing!  The Tom Bagely artwork was superb.  The
 club had even made full color posters of the same artwork for the show.  The
 pages of Thrasher were only a few shreds of grip tape away.  This was a
 really great line up.  The Hi-Five's, The Mr. T Experience, and of course the
 Eight-Legged Dork Machine incarnate.  The Hi-Five/Mr. T experience was a
 guaranteed good time in the space suit pocket.  Our show was a weird one in
 any terran terms; the gravity problem was definitely self-evident.  On the
 second to last song, "Nitrous Burnout," my kit completely fell to a wicked
 death.  I finished the last verse with only a hi-hat and a snare.  It might
 not have been a successful audition for the Violent Femmes or Doo Rag, but I
 think I did as admiral a job as a space private like myself was capable of.
 We did our "The Who from Outer Space" maneuvers and the stage ended up
 looking like destroyed clumps of civilization that remain at the end of
 Missile Command.  I guess this was fun, at least the earth patrons of San
 Jose said it was, but then again, who can trust an earthman?
 
 
 Monday, August 7
 Day Off in L.A.
 
  Okay, by this time you are probably well aware that the term "Night Drive"
 is more than just the Atari game where you get to use the paddles.  On our
 way to stay on the beach with Dexter X's friend Steve Waggoner, we had a
 rather bizarre set of circumstances befall us.  A guy in a car with a beagle
 pulled up and asked, "What are you guys doing?"  Dexter X replied, "I don't
 know.  Who are you?"  "I'm the police!" The light changes to green and we
 rocket on our way in bemusement.  The next thing we know, two cop cars are
 pulling us over. We all have to put our hands out the window, and they call
 Dexter out.  Apparently, some one had called in that our Astro-trailer was a
 trailer that had been stolen. Unfortunately for us, it also looked strange to
 the fuzzies that our plates were from Alabama, but our driver was from Costa
 Mesa, where the other trailer had been stolen.  I couldn't believe that
 someone could actually say that we hadn't acquired the Jupiter II on our own
 hard work. Why, I still remember the day CoCo put the "Repairing Your TV with
 Savage Teenage Lust" vinyl lettering on her backside.  Everything eventually
 got cleared up and the rest of the day went as smooth as a Californian
 Protein Drink. Well, Dex did break his toe because of incompetent
 boogie-boarding.  We got to stop by everyone's favorite store (or it would be
 if you didn't have to give them your phone number and address every fucking
 time you go) - Radio Shack.  Later, we ordered pizza and watched William
 Peter Blatty's "The 9th Configuration," an amazing film that is now a
 must-see on the Astro-Tour Film Viewer.
 
 Tuesday, August 8
 Venue:  Jabberjaw
 City:  LA, CA
 
  Last year the Man or Astro-Unit?, complete with the Dr. Deleto circuit,
 played one of our hottest shows ever at Jabberjaw.  The club is in a horrible
 part of town, the ventilation is nil, and the P.A. is fading into
 nonexistance.  So, why is this place so great?  The humans that oversee this
 spot are some of the finest in the known cosmos!  Ah, you humans still
 overcome the lameness of your species if only on a few occasions.  With these
 kinds of shows, I just forget about the quality of sound and what little bit
 of professionalism I might have.  The main objective is to mustard[sic]
 enough psychotic energy to burn people's hair off their heads.  This show was
 no exception, and it was a complete thrill to make CoCo mad enough to kick
 over my hi-hat stand after I spit in his face.  Supposedly Drew Barrymore
 came out.  If I had known this, I would have surely burned the hair off her
 head with my heat vision.
 
 
 Wednesday, August 9
 Venue:  Spaceland
 City:  LA, CA
 
  They say that there are so many cellular phone transmissions in the
 Hollywood area that they travel through people's brains to get to their
 destinations.  This makes about as much sense as anything because LA is the
 only place weirder than space.  Southern Californian traffic makes an
 asteroid belt look calm and refreshing.  Our in-store at Rhino maintained an
 OK energy status, but was rushed and thus fairly mediocre.  The Spaceland
 Club itself turned out to be somewhat of a disappointment;  what we thought
 was going to look like the Death Star metamorphasized into a rather large LA
 hipster club/Captain D's.  This show was a mess.  The P.A. blew and the crowd
 was completely insane.  Star Crunch tight-roped the stage bannister, and the
 drums got kicked over at least five times.  It was either amazing or complete
 shit.  I really wasn't sure.  I had a completely solid readout of ambiguity
 on this one.  Mark Mothersbaugh from Devo was out as well as the Cramps.  Two
 of my all time favorite bands, but I was lacking the space balls (not to be
 confused with the Mel Brooks flick) to meet them.  It's hard to face idols
 whom you've read countless numbers of zine interviews about.  This was our
 most violent night of the tour.  It even had closure.  Dexter got knocked out
 by one of CoCo's Astrophonic Speaker Horns before the show, and after it was
 all over I got pissed at the Lounge Lizard and kicked a TV off a speaker.
 Birdstuff is the King of Embarrassment once again.
 
 Thursday, August 10
 Venue:  The Casbah
 City:  San Diego, CA
 
  No Clash jokes please!  The Casbah was a cool little club with lots of
 notoriety.  It was right across from the airport, and it looked like
 in-coming planes were going to crash into the surrounding buildings.  The
 Hi-Fives were great as always, but Deadbolt, who are on Cargo, were really
 hilarious.  I never was very fond of their records, but the live show was as
 entertaining as an Alabama Offroad Mud Derby, which, I might add, is one of
 the world's finest sport spectacles.  I thought our show was intense.  We
 finally played Supernova's "Calling Hong Kong" so Dexter could display his
 goods, and the crowd completely lost logical brian patterns causing Dexter to
 get a tooth knocked out by a flying mic stand.  Okay, maybe I shouldn't have
 ever made fun of Epitaph for giving their bands a health plan.  Major surgery
 is looking like it's going to be a common experience for extended Astro-Tours.
 
 
 Friday, August 11
 Venue:  Double Down
 City:  Las Vegas, NV
 
  Vegas is the wackiest, tackiest city on this planet.  We arrived at 9 in the
 morning.  Louis the Letch, our casino connection and one of the slickest
 gentlemen on Planet Vegas set us up with rooms at La Concha next to the spot
 where the Untamed Youth recorded their live album, the El Morocco.  Here's
 the break:  CoCo and Dexter ended up out $100 a piece, and Star Crunch up
 $120.  The actual show was completely fucked.  There's no way for bands to
 really play in Vegas so people do indie shows at different venues.  The
 Double Down is definitely a bar and not a club.  People were out for blood.
 Drunk, mad and out of their heads.  This was a wild fucking crowd.  I mean
 we could barely play.  CoCo was getting leveled like a Jr. High School
 Offensive Tackle going up against the entire Pittsburg Stealers defensive
 line.  Additionally, the place's wiring was fucked.  Star Crunch got such a
 jolt that he blacked out and fell on a TV.  We had to quit after 10 songs
 because someone was literally going to get killed.  After the show the
 testosterone continued to flow like Niagra.  "Let's prove our stupidity
 through violence" reigned as a guy popped another guy in the face with a
 glass bottle.  The guy was screaming and bleeding like shit all over the
 asphalt.  His face was going to be scarred for life.  Flashing ambulance
 lights replaced the accustomed stage lights as everyone headed back to the
 casinos.  Was this primitive ritual really fun?  I'm into punk energy, but
 these Thundar and his Barbarians show goers will be annihilated when our
 invasion is completed.
 
 
 Saturday, August 12
 Live Radio Broadcast Day in Tucson, AZ
 
  We escaped Vegas and Area 51, but our live Radio Broadcast in Tucson turned
 out to be a phoned-in sentence five miles outside of the Hoover Dam area.
 Our Earth Ground Transport Vehicle faltered, but with fate on our side we
 soon got back in sync, if only in a mechanical sense.  The Hoover Dam was
 completely phenomenal in itself.  The guide book said that with all the
 concrete used to build it you could make a passageway 5 feet across all the
 way from the North Pole to the South Pole.  By coincidence, we met up with
 tour mates The Hi-Fives at the dam.  Crossing the Mojave and surrounding
 desert plains, we headed for Phoenix, Arizona and the home of Eastside
 Records and Entertainment King, Ben Wood.  Ben has an amazing Tiki Room and
 an equally great collection of Robert Williams, Coop, etc. artwork.  Finally,
 we headed off to our robot dream states with our alien bellies full 
 compliments of an earth cheese pizza.
 
 
 Sunday, August 13
 Venue:  Boston's
 City:  Phoenix, AZ
 
  Ben Wood is probably the nicest gent that we have had the pleasure of
 examining.  No alien abduction here;  Ben will be one of the few that we
 spare at the cosmic time of inevitable annihilation.  Ben runs Eastside
 Records in Phoenix which is a complete archetype of what an independent
 record store should be.  Super recently Eastside has also started putting out
 vinyl.  Man or Astro-Man?'s "Needles in the Cosmic Haystack" 7" being the
 impetus of their new endeavor.  The in-store at Eastside was jam-packed with
 terrans ready to be blasted with that Astrophonic sound. This was really
 excellent: Star Crunch amazed onlookers by doing the noise section of
 "Nitrous..." by sliding used CDs up and down the fret board.  After the
 in-store we got to see the Neil Young film "Human Highway" starring Devo.
 Fairly novel stuff, but can you say "1982"?  Boston's, the chosen area for
 tonight's Astro-Incursion, was a weird place with a  stage that was half
 indoors and half outdoors. The audience could stand on either side.  With my
 well-known affinity for all that is backwards, I had to find a solution for
 the rearview on-lookers.  Tonight the other three Astro-Men did it "for the
 kids up front," while I pleased the alternate universe crowd with my drum
 mechanizations.  I actually had the bigger audience.  The show went well.  It
 was another riot ensuing crowd.  One guy jumped on stage, unplugged Star
 Crunch's amp and bit my cymbal.  I never thought the taste of brass was very
 palatable, but hey, I'm from space.
 
 
 Monday, August 14
 Venue:  Golden West
 City:  Alburquerque, NM
 
  We had a strange drive on the way to Albuquerque.  On the scary side of
 things, the van stalled right after one of those "Federal Prison
 Institution/Do not pick up hitchhikers" signs.  Luckily, we re-ignited the
 retros before any thumbs became visible.  However, on a more desirable
 circuit, we were able to check out the meteor site just outside Flagstaff,
 AZ.  It was downright awe-inspiring .  To think of something that size with
 that velocity striking the earth from space is just completely astounding.
 The crater is so large that 20 football games could be played simultaneously
 within its rim.  In Albuquerque, our in-store at Dropout Records was
 completed to our working formula's satisfaction.  Brief X energetic = happy
 crowd + happy Astro-Men.  We couldn't see the National Atomic Museum because
 we did not have our insurance papers for the van, thus, we were unable to be
 a registered vehicle on the military base in which the museum is located.
 Space Poop!  The club was located on Historic Route 66, and because of the
 installation of a new P.A. system we got a chance to walk around.  What's
 this?  Taco Bell closed at 7 p.m.?  No running to the border was possible
 here.  It was CoCo's earth birthday, so the Hi-Fives hit him with a birthday
 tune during their set while us Astro-Men handled cake duties.  Our actual
 performance was rather tame.  Possibly fortunately for us, we played in the
 dark.  The sound guy never turned the lights on, so if you didn't have a pair
 of infrared goggles on, all you had was the dim light of the film projector
 to see four dorky Astro-figures by.
 

 Tuesday, August 15
 Venue:  Mercury Cafe
 City:  Denver, CO
 
  This day was crammed into the waste module with all kinds of space gobble so
 try to hang on tightly.  We landed in Colorado Springs at about 10 a.m. to
 complete CoCo's Tesla pilgrimage.  The "Tesla Museum" was in absolute
 disarray.  Half of the displays weren't completely up and the main show room
 resembled the interior of a shop class more than it did a museum.  It is in
 honorable defense that the place is voluntarily run and the staff on hand
 were beyond informative and nice.  The "tour" wasn't until 2 p.m., so we
 scoured the town for nifty thrift stores.  Dexter snagged a farfisa compact
 organ for an even 100 smackers, and Star Crunch got a cheesy guitar/drum
 sample pedal that made some truly bizarre noises like all the freaked moog
 hits found on the Devo Hardcore stuff.  The Tesla Tour was fascinating.  We
 were shown an instructive video and then a guide did various experiments with
 a Jacob's Ladder and numerous Tesla coils.  It's really amazing the
 technology that the world was provided with through the genius of Tesla:
 neon, x-rays, radio, alternating current, lasers, remote controls, robotics,
 radar - the 20th century would still be hanging on the apron strings of the
 industrial revolution if not for Nikola Tesla.  Also, it is downright
 terrifying the simplistic technology that the government keeps from us for
 corporate profit or other devious gains.  At the Mercury Cafe, we had dinner
 and somehow got entangled in the theory of "ebbing originality and creativity
 due to the emperical finite possibilities of current modern instrument line
 up and sound capability."  Basically, everyone disagreed completely.  The
 audience was hooked to the core on that all-ages energy tip.  It was
 reanimating to my robot soul.  Kids going wild without beating each other's
 cranium in or acting like they're in a Stone Temple Pilots video.  The show
 was a stimulatingly good time.  I got to climb in the rafters during the set,
 went back into a storage attic, and came back with a full-size moose head.
 After the inevitable destaging, we hung out with Brian from Weezer, who had
 played a show in town earlier.  He was a super friendly guy and we almost
 stayed in Weezer's hotel rooms because they were leaving at 1 a.m. for
 Phoenix, but we met a fine gentleman also named Brian who let us crash at his
 place.  Hotels are generally lame for a small touring band.  You dish out $50
 of your hard, space-sweated moula to have some insane maid wake-up ceremony
 at 10 in the morning.  Fuck that earthly concept.  I'd much rather stay with
 a cordial earth inhabitant.  You get turned on to new bands, comics, movies,
 certifiably deranged local characters, and all kinds of new general
 philosophies.  The final score of the night was the "Almighty Robotic Horn
 Blowing Gutiar Unit" that Dexter X scored from the rafters.  Someone had
 attached two bicycle horns together, added about a dozen loopy knobs, and
 pulled out the wired interior of this old guitar to make the aforementioned
 device.  Hey, but here's the strangest kick in the proverbial space booty -
 it actually worked!  Astro-Luck on foreign worlds...nothing like it in the
 cosmos.
 
 
 Wednesday, August 16
 Beautiful Day Off in Denver, CO
 
  Rest and relaxation on planet Earth.  Today's occurrences were happily
 uneventful.  Our host, Brian, was going way beyond the "mi casa, su casa"
 customs.  We went to the "Breakfast King" to do an interview during which
 CoCo ecstatically declared it "The Quest for the Ultimate Pancake Sandwich."
 Unable to find an ultra-sonic dirt blaster we once again washed laundry in
 typical earth coin-op fashion.  After a cleaning of the space suits, supplies
 were retrieved from Star Crunch's favorite outlet:  Wal-Mart.  We decided to
 make the cinematic death wish of seeing "Waterworld" come true.  What's worse
 is that everyone got the student discount of $3.75 except for me, Mr. Forget
 to Ask for the Discount So Get Popped for $5.75 for One of the Worst Movies
 of Any Dimension.  I really tried hard to appreciate this film, but it just
 bit like a giant celluloid stink patty.  It touched on some decent, heady
 environmental issues, but then had these boring 15 minute "Road Warrior" on
 Jet Skiis rip-off action scenes.  Back at Brian's we went through the normal
 Astro-departure procedure, 94-CX-2, including the idiot check.  When we got
 on the road around midnight to head for Lawrence, KS everyone was honking
 their horns at us.  The question of whether or not anyone remembered to shut
 and lock the trailer door was posed.  Indeed it was as wide open as an
 Astro-patron's mouth right before chomping down on a Little Debbie.
 Fortunately, we packed that sucker so tight that nothing fell out.  Why do
 an idiot check when the band is completely full of them?
 
 
 Thursday, August 17
 Venue:  Bottleneck's
 City:  Lawrence, KS
 
  Okay, okay our D.I.Y. mode finally broke!  10:00 a.m. in Lawrence, KS - no
 way we were going to spend all day in a parking lot:  Ramada Inn here we
 come!  Pool side in top style, Astro-Luxury is as high society as can be
 imagined.  Last year at the same space occupation unit, we had a great show
 while on our tour with Southern Culture on the Skids.  For some inexplicable
 reason we had an enormous payload of interviews.  We even did an interview
 for a Spanish magazine.  Let me relay to you that my two years of Spanish
 that I had learned in a primitive Earth Education Institution served me
 nothing more than a plateful of humiliation.  The show sold out and proved to
 be one of the most affable that we had all tour.  For the Astro-Hardware
 Instrument Systems this was an extremely taxing night.  Dexter smashed 1 1/2
 guitars, Star Crunch kicked in a TV screen, and I personally tested the
 aerodynamic properties of my interstellar drum module.  Also, we annihilated
 the back lighting and ceiling tile above the stage.  So maybe we get docked
 for our juvenile space treachery, it was fun.  My personal highlight was
 seeing Star Crunch scrap with a crowd member for one of my drumsticks.  They
 were rolling all over the stage in the attempt to possess that prized
 Birdstuff souvenir.  Small, yet cunning and adaptable, Star Crunch soon won
 out over his large, but technically undermatched earth adversary.  At the end
 of the night the guys from Better Than Ezra came up to us. They were playing
 the next night in Lawrence, but had flown in early just to see the show.
 Actually, they used to open for us in Atlanta.  Alas, those seemed to be the
 days of old as Dexter asked, "Hey, aren't you guys rock stars?"  After the
 show at the hotel our key wouldn't work and there was "mystery hair," a
 cockroach, and a cricket in the bathroom.  What was I blabbing about
 Astro-Luxury earlier?
 
 
 Friday, August 18
 Venue:  Cicero's
 City:  St. Louis, MO
 
  Update:  The "Almighty Robotic Horn Blowing Guitar Unit" has recently been
 bungeed and chain locked to the front of the van as a hood ornament.  Dexter
 has refused to ever play it because of the myriad of bug intestines now
 enmassed on its surface.  We did a rather enjoyable phone interveiw with a
 magazine in Orlando, FL.  We have switched labels from the Estrus satellite
 to the Touch and Go Planet.  When asked why we didn't consider any major
 labels, I relayed that we already made our own nuclear weapons, tested on
 animals (including humans), and harmed the environment in ways that earth
 scientists would never be able to calculate, so what could a major label
 possibly be able to offer us that we don't already possess, control or plan
 to conquer?  Needless to say, we decided to continue to do E.P.s with Estrus
 but simply felt that Touch and Go was a solid, beneficial, honest place to
 coincide with our new "Tour Till You Drop" schedule.  Tonight's show at
 Cicero's was with hometown mutant friends, The Quadrajets, which of course
 features the unbridled guitar debauchery of former Astro-Man, Captain Zeno.
 They're great guys in a great band (strange duality for these days, eh?) and
 they use more oil in their hair than that spilled by the Exxon-Valdez.  A
 certain respect factor is thusly due.  All said, we made the moronic decision
 of going to see They Might Be Giants at another venue instead of hanging
 around to see the 'Jets.  They Might Be Giants are nothing but a completely
 dulled, blase parody of their prior, amazing selves.  What ever happened to
 two nerdy, New England guys running around with a marching bass drum, an
 accordion, guitar and drum machine?  The backing band had that uninterested,
 coked-out, glazed, "male porno star" look about them.  It just completely
 sucked.  I threw my gum at the bass player.  In the immortal words of CoCo,
 "This is worse than "Waterworld"!"  Back at Cicero's, the show was hotter
 than a Martian s'mores cookout and the show was a lot of fun.  I'm being
 Captain Obvious.  Isn't that every show?  We left right afterwards for
 Nashville to stay with Star Crunch's cloned older sibling entity.  On the
 way, this guy studied our trailer briefly then walked to his van and pulled
 out a CD.  He then asked CoCo, "Is this you guys?"  Well, well, what's that?
 "Destroy All Astro-Men!"?  Our disease has seeped into mini-vans!  Now
 that's an accomplishment!  He asked if we would sign the CD for him.  "Only
 if you sign something of ours first!"
 
 
 Saturday, August 19
 Venue:  The Mercury Theatre
 City:  Knoxville, TN
 
  Back in the Southland!  It made me feel that good ole space alien inbred
 vibe that I had been missin' on that durn new agey West Coast.  The Branock
 Device and I spent the day coming up with new and twisted drum configurations.  
 We were completely destroying the stale thinking that provides normal drum 
 didones with standardized kit set ups.  Nanotechnology is the new emphasis. 
 Only Earthmen with micro-penises need a big drum set to equalize their egos.
 Come on, Carmen Appice, Jr., do you really need 7 crash cymbols?  I'm going
 to blow that sucker away with the Astro-Shrinking Ray!  One possibility was 
 using a trigger that is secured to the stage itself as the kickdrum. 
 The bass pedal would actually travel all the way to the floor hitting the
 unseen trigger.  The illusion of a drum set, set up with a completely 
 invisible, or more accurately, nonexistent bass drum.  Silly?  Maybe, but our
 advanced minds must keep themselves entertained.  This led to discussions
 into new live shows.  We collectively came up with the "Maximum Efficiency, 
 Video Buddy System, Live Musical Experimentation" tour.  Basically, each 
 member would tour by himself with the other 3 members being represented by a
 "video-generated stand-in."  This would allow us to still have a live 
 element to the show, but at the same time allow us to play in four cities at 
 one time.  The ultimate in Low Budget Mass Media Marketing!  Who needs 
 Kraftwerk's expensive servo mechanisms, and hired computer automators when
 somebody's folks own a video camera?  Hey wait, wasn't there something about
 a show played in Knoxville, TN in here?  Okay, enough of our inane 
 Astro-Futures.  At the Mercury Theatre we were as tight as the artificial
 straps we secure our earth experimentees with.  The crowd was an aggressive
 Little Debbie-throwing bunch.  It's always great sitting behind my drum
 fortification and getting to watch CoCo being brutally pelted with Nutty 
 Buddy's.  Apologies went out from me to Dexter for biting his butt unit, but
 he should have never gotten it that close to my synthetic chomper by standing
 on my drum monitor.  A lesson learned by all.  Dexter won't get that close to
 me ever again, and I realize that Dexter X's butt tastes like a combo platter
 of fetid tofu and sweaty toe jam.
 
 
 Sunday, August 20
 Venue:  Local 506 - SLEAZEFEST
 City:  Chapel Hill, NC
 
  The Last Great Show of yet another tour of Planet Earth.  Sleazefest was a
 great 3 day smorgasbord of highly charged bands like the immortal Woggles,
 the Hate Bombs, Southern Culture on the Skids, the Flat Duo Jets, Sons of
 Hercules, Hillbilly Frankenstein and a slew of more phenomenal bands than
 most clubs have in an entire year.  Astro-Friends had circled the globe and
 converged on the Local 506.  It was practically like a "This Is Your Life"
 episode in which four lonely space dorks get entirely too nostalgic.  Anyway,
 it was a perfect ending to our "Tour to End All Known Practical Science"
 because sometimes every Astro-Man longs for human companionship.  The show
 was a macromolecule short of being one of the most enjoyable of the tour.
 Our main video historian, Craig Zeerfoss at No Place Like Home Productions
 was documenting the New Dexter Era Astro-Show.  As soon as the Tour Probe
 returns to Alpha H.Q. we will be editing 7 shows that Craig has captured to
 contrive a Live Video Collage of some of the wildest and weirdest
 Astro-Performances.  Our Sleazefest Show proved to be a valuable resource for
 wild and weird itself.  First off, the Lounge Lizard fell on his ass bringing
 the likes of half our stage set up with him.  A Human Avalanche of Mass
 Media, a sight beyond bounds.  Secondly, I forgot to remind my center of
 brain cell activity that I can barely chew Earth bubble gum and walk, much
 less chew and play drums.  Needless to relay, my nutrional chomping units
 punctured my fat smoocher.  Being the clever space freak that I am, I quickly
 turned a punctured lip wound into a Gene Simmons blood spitting side show.
 Oh yes, the geniusness of stupidity comes to play once again for Mr. B.Stuff.
 Finally, some big chick and a burned out earth man got on stage for our
 second to last song.  They were dancing right in front of the rhythmic sound
 device that I call home.  It was really starting to piss me off.  I said, 
 "Get the fuck out of my way.  No one can see me play."  Drummers never get
 their fair shake to begin with.  "Fucking move!  Do you think I'm making my 
 face contort like this for excercise?"  They were oblivious.  At the end of
 "Principles Unknown," our last song, I decided that they would look much
 snazzier if they wore my drum set as hats.  They actually looked surprised.
 I continued the overly macho, Jesus Lizard-style antic all the way to the
 goal line, but the audience forced me back on stage with space dork kit in
 hand.  Sorry guys for being a turd, but I like to be seen.  Birdstuff is once
 again the provider of goose eggs.  On that note, it all ended.
 
 
 The Astro-Van turned into a pumpkin.  Branock and the Lounge Lizard were
 their original, mousey selves and CoCo, S.Crunch, and Mr. X looked just
 lovely as my wart-covered, wicked step sisters.  We will meet again I'm sure
 as the Fairy Godmother will surely make us search for our own glass slipper
 up the East Coast in the oncoming month of October.  See you then fellow
 dorkoids.
      - Birdstuff

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

MOBILE FIDELITY SOUND LABS -- An Audiophile's Dream (Part Two)
by Steve Marshall

     In the last article, I wrote about several of the CDs and albums
recently released by Mobile Fidelity (MFSL). This time, I'll go over more
of the titles that MFSL has released and a couple of the accessories they
have for your stereo and your music collection.
     We'll begin with the second release by John Mayall, "Blues Breakers
(With Eric Clapton)". MFSL gave this classic album the 24 karat gold
treatment, and it couldn't be more deserving. The Ultradisc II CD has
excellent depth and separation, especially on the sparse guitar/piano
arrangement of "Ramblin' on My Mind" (which also features the first
recorded vocals by Clapton). The clarity throughout the 1966 recording
is astounding. It's amazing to hear what the 21-year-old guitarist was
capable of at such an early age. To date, John Mayall's "Blues Breakers"
remains one of the best blues albums ever recorded.
     Keeping things in a blues vein, the crown jewel of MFSL's catalog has
got to be the acoustic Muddy Waters album, "Folk Singer". It won the
prestigious Golden Note Award for Best Reissue Recording in 1995 from The
Academy for the Advancement of High End Audio. After hearing the Anadisq
200 version of the album, I didn't think it could possibly sound any
better - but it does (albeit only marginally). The Ultradisc II CD includes
two bonus tracks recorded in April 1964 -- "You Can't Lose What You Ain't
Never Had", and the Willie Dixon tune, "The Same Thing". The dynamic range
of the recording is breathtaking. You'll swear you're in the middle of the
recording studio when you listen to this CD.
     The rest of the titles mentioned here are Anadisq 200 vinyl releases,
all pressed on 200 grams of pure virgin vinyl. Starting things off will be
the second and third studio albums by classic rock legends Emerson, Lake
& Palmer. MFSL has released two ELP titles so far, "Tarkus" and "Trilogy".
The dynamic range on "Tarkus" was excellent. Comparing the MFSL version to
the CD in the 1993 "Return of the Manticore" boxed set, the Anadisq 200
sounded more natural. Bass response was better, although the high end seemed
a bit muted on MFSL's version, especially on "Bitches Crystal" and "A Time
and a Place".
     The album that really shines for Mobile Fidelity, though, is "Trilogy".
There was no surface noise whatsoever. All of the instruments and voices
were clear and distinct, much more open than on the boxed set. Bass response
was deep and resonant, never boomy. Carl Palmer's drums at the beginning of
"The Sheriff" sound great, extremely tight and clear. Keith Emerson's piano
on the title track sounds warm and natural. Another of the album's many
shining moments is on the Greg Lake track, "From the Beginning", with its
acoustic introduction. Lake's vocals and guitar are particularly clear on
the Anadisq 200 version. This is one of MFSL's best releases.
     Moving forward a few years to 1976, we come to Jean Michel Jarre's
"Oxygene" album. As one of the founders of electronic music, Jarre has served
as an inspiration to the many others in this musical genre (e.g. Isao
Tomita, Kitaro, some of Brian Eno's material, etc.). At times, parts of the
album (especially Part Two) are reminiscent of Pete Bardens' "Seen One
Earth" album. With the technology and equipment available to today's
musicians, the material on "Oxygene" sounds a bit dated at times. However,
the pressing was virtually noise-free, and the sound quality on the album
is outstanding.
     Shifting gears into reggae mode, we come to the classic album from Bob
Marley and the Wailers, "Exodus". Overall, I was not very impressed with
the sound on this album. The performance speaks for itself, but the sound
is surprisingly "lo-fi" for an MFSL release. Not necessarily bad, but not
up to Mobile Fidelity's usual high standards. "Exodus" includes several of
Marley's most popular songs, such as "Waiting in Vain", "Jamming", "One
World/People Get Ready", and of course, the title track.
     The last album to be reviewed here is the collaboration between blues
guitarists Albert Collins, Robert Cray and Johnny Copeland - "Showdown!".
Originally released in 1985, "Showdown!" contains choice cover tunes, as
well as a few songs each guitarist had been performing live for some time.
With such great tracks as Collins' "The Moon is Full" and the obscure
"Black Cat Bone" (originally done by lap steel guitar master, Hop Wilson),
this is one album not to be missed. The sound quality on "Showdown" is
excellent, as is the performance. Again, the pressing was free of any
surface noise, and the channel separation is superb throughout. Blues fans
should take notice of this one, it's nothing short of spectacular.
     Moving on to the next portion of this article, Mobile Fidelity offers
accessories for your stereo & your vinyl collection. One of the most
important things a turntable owner can do to insure optimum sound and
minimize record wear is to make sure your cartridge is properly aligned.
Using the Geo-Disc alignment tool from MFSL, precision cartridge alignment
is a snap. It allows you to easily set your cartridge's three most critical
adjustments - offset, tracking angle, and overhang - to within .003" in
minutes. The Geo-Disc effectively reduces the possibility of groove damage
and distortion in both tracking and phasing, as well as minimizing any
sibilance and tracing error.
     Mobile Fidelity also offers the protective inner sleeves used for the
Anadisq 200 series separately. The rice-paper sleeves are excellent for
protecting your prized vinyl collection. They eliminate the common
problems associated with most poly-lined & paper sleeves, like scratching,
static buildup, and stabilizer drift. They're excellent for storing
laserdiscs as well.
     Mobile Fidelity has been providing the audiophile community with high
quality products since their inception in 1977. Using the original master
tapes for all their releases, they continue to produce the most natural &
realistic sounding recordings currently available in any format. There
have been several technological breakthroughs in the recording industry
over the years, and MFSL has come up with some of their own, such as the
proprietary GAIN mastering system. Audiophile companies have come and gone
over the years, but Mobile Fidelity Sound Labs has proven time and time
again that they are indeed the audiophile's dream.


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THE AMERICAN RUSE - RETURN OF THE X  (1+2/Barn Homes)

   If loud, fast and trashy 3-chord Rock & Roll is what gets ya goin',
you're gonna dig the shit out of this little plastic thing. Think of
everything you loved about bands like The Lazy Cowgirls, The Stones and
The Heartbreakers and you'll get a pretty good idea of what these wildmen
are all about. Of the 18 songs here (13 originals and a handful of cool
covers by the likes of The Only Ones, J. Thunders etc.) there ain't a
clunker in the bunch. This is pure, timeless, un-trendy Rock & Roll that
will still sound great in 20 or even 50 years from now. And I bet that
these guys kick some serious butt live too.
(avail. thru Get Hip) - The Platterpuss


THE BEATLES -- Anthology 1 (Capitol)

One of the most eagerly awaited new releases in several
months is the first in a series of three double-CDs from The
Beatles, "Anthology 1". For the first time in 25 years, we
have a "new" Beatles song -- the John Lennon-penned "Free as
a Bird". Using an unfinished demo tape recorded by Lennon
circa 1977 as the foundation, producer Jeff Lynne added
instrumentation and vocal tracks by the three remaining
Beatles to create the song. Unfortunately, the song doesn't
live up to all the hype that was surrounding it. Is it
interesting? Yes. Will you listen to it more than a few
times? Probably not. The rest of the collection, however, is
well worth the wait.

The remaining tracks on "Anthology 1" are made up of rare,
unreleased demos, outtakes, rehearsals & live performances
-- commercially available for the first time. Some of the
cuts that really stand out are a Paul McCartney/George
Harrison song performed live by the Quarry Men in 1958, a
newly discovered recording of "You Know What to Do" (the
second song ever written by Harrison), five live songs from
the failed Decca audition, two songs from the first audition
for George Martin, and the rocking cover of Little Willie
John's "Leave My Kitten Alone".

The packaging for "Anthology 1" is first rate. It comes with
a 48-page booklet and includes an introduction by the
band's press officer, Derek Taylor. Extensive liner notes
were written for each of the 60 tracks on the CDs by Mark
Lewisohn. The cover art was designed by long time Beatles
associate, Klaus Voormann (who also did the cover for "Revolver").

Some of the more entertaining tracks on the CD include five
songs in excellent quality performed for Swedish radio in
1963, an unfinished version of "And I Love Her", and take
two of "Can't Buy Me Love" with Paul messing up the lyrics.
Other highlights on "Anthology 1" include takes two and
three of "I'll Be Back" (which show how quickly the band
could change direction in their songwriting), and the false
starts on "Eight Days a Week" and "One After 909". If you
like The Beatles, this is an essential addition to your CD
collection. - (Steve Marshall)


THE BOMBORAS - Savage Island (Dionysus)

Pulp fictionites beware!  If that's how you got interested in surf, and you
still think that great Dick Dale tune is CALLED Pulp Fiction, go away and
read a different review.  This is very authentic surf, here.  So authentic
that it could easily pass for a 1962 recording.  There's nothing particularly
fancy here -- very few speed-picked lightning runs.  Bomboras opt for melodic
beauty in much the same way that their contemporaries, The Halibuts, do.
(Although The Halibuts can speed pick with the best of them when they want
to.)  And like The 'buts, they even live in the authenticity-zone -- Los
Angeles, California.

Former members of The Finks, this band will make the traditionalists happy
as hell, 'cept for the fact that they don't play Fender axes.  Nobody's
perfect, huh?  The feel of this album is summed up nicely in the title,
Savage Island.  There's a definite tiki atmosphere in all that reverb.
My only complaint is...25 MINUTES?!?  I wanted it to keep on going.  Thank
God for the repeat button. - (DJ Johnson)


DAVID BOWIE: Virgin Re-Releases Six CDs (Virgin)

In late October, Virgin reissued six CDs from David Bowie's
back catalog. Coinciding with his current tour with Nine
Inch Nails, the reissues come at a time of renewed interest
in Bowie's musical career. All were digitally remastered
from (in most cases) the original analog master tapes. Five
of the CDs now include bonus tracks.

Originally released in 1983, the multi-platinum "Let's
Dance" contains Bowie's biggest hits of the 80's -- the
title track, "China Girl", "Modern Love", and his 1981
collaboration with Queen, "Under Pressure" (as a bonus
track). Differences between the new version and EMI's
original release were subtle. The reissue has color in the
booklet, while the EMI version does not. The original CD has
a more resonant low end, but the reissue has more punch to it.

Bowie's follow-up album, "Tonight", didn't have quite the
commercial success of "Let's Dance", but still reached
platinum status. The album's first single, "Blue Jean", as
well as "Neighborhood Threat" and "Loving the Alien" are all
standout songs. Virgin's reissue contains three bonus tracks
from various movie soundtracks. The booklet is the same as
the EMI version. Sound quality on Virgin's CD is noticeably
better than EMI's.

Bowie's career started to wane with the release of his next
album, "Never Let Me Down". Though it arguably contained
some of his best performances, it was panned by critics. At
Bowie's request, Virgin left off one of the original CD's
better songs, "Too Dizzy". Apparently, he didn't feel the
track fit in with the other songs on the album anymore. They
added three bonus tracks to make up for it though. Virgin's
remix of the 1987 album has a bit less bass than the
original, but still sounds great. The booklets are identical
between the two CDs.

1989 saw the debut release by Bowie's new band, Tin Machine.
There are quite a few differences in the reissue of this
one. The original EMI CD was a picture disc with the songs
listed on it. Virgin's has the songs listed on a plain white
label. The Virgin CD sounds tighter than the EMI, but EMI's
is warmer. Virgin's CD also had a much higher output level
than the original. Included as a bonus track on the reissue
is a live country version of "Bus Stop".

Virgin's reissue of Bowie's "Black Tie, White Noise" CD
(originally released on the Savage label) is somewhat
disappointing. There were no bonus tracks added, and the
packaging was better on the original. Where the reissue has
a blank white inlay card under the clear CD tray, the
original had red lettering which lined up with the lettering
on the CD. The sound on Virgin's CD is slightly better than
the original.

The last CD in the series is Bowie's soundtrack for the BBC
television mini-series, "The Buddha of Suburbia" (available
for the first time in the US). Bowie covers a wide range of
musical styles on the CD, from the avant-garde jazz of
"South Horizon" (featuring Mike Garson on piano), to the
funky "Bleed Like a Craze, Dad". The CD also includes the
original version of Bowie's latest single, "Strangers When
We Meet".

David Bowie has redefined the limits of rock music for over
25 years now. With the six new CDs, Virgin has documented an
important period in Bowie's groundbreaking career. (Steve Marshall)


THE BROOD - Hitsville (Dionysus)

There's something very cool and primal about a good garage tune.  It's not
the MOST primal sound your speakers can kick out, but it's right in there.
The Brood have been playing great garage music for something like a decade,
and they keep getting better without ever abandoning the sound that made
them cool in the first place.  The music still sounds like it was recorded
in a room flooded with psycho lights and sandlewood incense smoke.

The Brood are four women from Portland, Maine, who choose obscure 60's
tunes to cover and write originals that sound like they, too, might be
obscure covers.  Neat trick, doncha think?  Not being an expert in the
field of 60's garage (even though I'm a fan who's learning fast), I can't
say who did these songs originally.  I know The Damned did a great version
of "Beat Girl," but if it was done before that, I confess my ignorance.
So now that we've crashed through the song identification phase of this
review, let's move on.

Asch Gregory's Farfisa organ is the dominant sound, along with Chris Horne's
streetwise vocals, which can be smooth as good scotch or mean as a cornered
rattler.  Horne's guitar paves the tracks with deep fuzz while Betsy Mitchell
(bass) and Crystal Light (drums) keep things bouncing.
 
Garage fans will need this album.  It's essential to the collection.  Mod
fans will get into it as well.  Just as you can hear the psycho lights,
you can hear the boots and sunglasses.  If you've never heard The Brood
and you're looking for comparisons...write this down...Take 2 cups of
Electric Prunes, 2 cups of ? and The Mysterians, sprinkle liberally with
Standells, Lyres and Gravedigger V.  Garnish with Count Five.  Serve hot.
(As IF you had a choice!) - DJ Johnson
 

*** coLeSLAw's Technosection ***

THREE FROM MINUS HABENS RECORDS

"Electronic  Industrial  Weird" ...as self-described in the label
information brochure, yet after my repeated listens to the three albums
sent for review by Minus Habens, I believe they should edit that description
to "electronic, industrial, weird, haunting, beautiful, thought evoking".
These are among the finest albums of the genre that it has ever been my good
fortune to hear.


I: Klange - Green Mars

Walking that fine line between techno and merely electronic-based music
can be a hazardous road to travel, particularly if techno is not your
goal. Regardless of what their goal is, Klange pulls it off brilliantly, 
never relying on those silly "tch-tch-tch-tch" drum beats which most people
associate with electronic music. Rest assured, if yer butt's in the mood 
you can sure as hell dance to it, but the music itself is the key player 
here, not the need for a steady thumping 4/4 beat. If I could replicate
half the textures which ooze their way through this hypnotic album, I would 
not be sitting here in my room in a stuffy basement writing reviews for 
people who can. Without wishing to show any favoritism, Green Mars was for
me the most listenable of the three - which brings me to....


II: Body Frequencies (tattoo, piercing, scarification) - Various Artists

It should forthwith be known that I did enjoy this album, and as well, I
consider it the most unlistenable of the three. Relax, chum...an explanation
will ensue. So I called it unlistenable, that doesn't mean I didn't like
it. On the contrary, this is an album designed with the intent that it should
be enjoyed under certain (and potentially painful) experiences.  The tones
are all darker, the sound more distorted; yet the mood, interestingly enough,
seems more serene. It is a peacefully soothing album which just happens to
be full of sounds that can grind away flesh. A firmly solid and well chosen
group of songs which work together well on a compilation album, which I have
found to be a rare occurrence indeed.


III: Urbanitribu - Urbanitribu

Featuring Mr. Massimiliano of Klange, this album has as much resemblance to
"Green Mars" as a navy bean pie. This album stands firmly on its own, as
well as off to the side a bit and under 13 feet of murky water. With the
addition of bass, guitar, and some distorted vocals done more by the band
and less by sampled works, this album blends the unexpectedness and
experimentation of electronic music with the more recognizable forms of
music known to the rest of the world. It is a bit poppier, a bit more
upbeat, and unfortunately, the drum loops a bit more predictable. None of
these should be taken as insults to the album, they merely are intended to
describe that this is an album that you can dance to, without any of the
tedious concern of wondering to yourself about whether or not you should be.
- (coLeSLAw)


GLADHANDS - From Here To Obscurity  (Big Deal)

   Fans of bands like Teenage Fanclub and Velvet Crush, with their lush
production and layers of guitars splayed out over catchy, hooky songs
may find a lot to love here. Personally, while I find this to be very
pleasant background music while I'm surfin' the net or writing letters,
closer listening leaves me wanting a bit more. Somehow the songs seem to
lack that special something to make them stand out. Not that they're bad,
just ordinary. So, while I'll be interested to see where they can take it
from here, and I think that they have the potential to make a really great
record, this one ain't it and I can only recommend this to rabid fans of
the above 2 bands who absolutely cannot get enough. - The Platterpuss


THE GRABBERS - The Way I Am  (Dr. Dream)

   Fans of that melodic-core sound as played by bands like Face To Face,
Rhythm Collision, Pegboy and a whole host of others will surely dig
these guys as well. While they might not add anything new to the formula,
they play it as well as anyone, maybe even better than most, mixing in
lots of post-adolescent alienation and adrenaline with just the right
amount of melodic smarts and catchy hooks. Unlike a lot of albums in this
style that have come out over the last year or so, this is one that I
will still be spinning when melodic punk rock is, once again, no longer
fashionable.
(841 W. Collins,  Orange CA 92667) - The Platterpuss


THE HATE BOMBS - She's The Girl/Know About You  (Speed-O-Meter)

    These guys play snotty, snarlin & stompin' 60's influenced garage
band R & R, the kinda thing that I can never get enough of. Picture an
even cruder version of the first Chesterfield Kings album and you're
definitely on the right track. "...Girl" borrows a riff from Them's "I
Can Only Give You Everything" and proceeds to turn it inside out just
enough to make it their own while "Know About You" speeds things up a
bit more and is pure primitive mayhem at its best.
(1430 Lake Highland Dr.,  Orlando FL 32803) - The Platterpuss


HEAD & THE HARES - Two Tymes/Lost  (Stanton Park)

    This Italian quartet plays garagey psych/pop that sounds like they've
put in a lot of time listening to bands like The Byrds, Love and The
Rising Storm. Although I really dig both tracks, I think I'm especially
partial to "Lost" as it's got a harder edge to it, not to mention some
really nifty organ playing.
(PO Box 58,  Newtonville MA 02160) - The Platterpuss



THE INHALANTS - Kill You/Automatic Pilot  (Unclean)

    This Texas trio dishes out some of the rawest Punk Rock I've heard
in a long long time. While I'm not usually a big fan of the 'muddier is
better' school of production, somehow it all sounds perfectly right here.
Not for the faint hearted by any means, but anyone else who digs bands
like The Rip Offs and Teengenerate oughta really go for this big time.
 - The Platterpuss



 LAIKA AND THE COSMONAUTS - The Amazing Colossal Band (Upstart)

 After last year's incredible "Instruments Of Terror," Laika and the 
 Cosmonauts come roaring back with an even better record.  Mistaken
 for a surf band by many people, this quartet from Finland plays a
 mix of spy and psychotic carnival music.  If you read interviews 
 with instro musicians, surf and otherwise, you'll notice that this
 band is mentioned 90 percent of the time as favorites.  There's a
 reason.  They aren't predictable in the slightest.  People who hate
 instro love this band.  Hell, people who hate MUSIC love this band.

 The coolest track off the last album was a cover of the Mission 
 Impossible theme, which is, let's face it, STILL killer spy music.
 On this album, it's a tossup between "The A-Treatment," with its 
 penetrating and unusual guitar scale, and "The Man From H.U.A.C.,"
 with a guitar part that's like "Shakin' All Over" on speed. Just to 
 throw you off, they do have a cool little surf track called "O.C.C.C. 
 (Oahu Community Correctional Center)."  Did I mention these guys have
 a sense of humor?  

 Instruments Of Terror was a hard act to follow, but they did it, and
 in a big way.  If you seek instro music with an unusual spin on it, this
 is the holy grail.	- (DJ Johnson)



 LOS STRAITJACKETS - Self titled (Upstart)

      It's getting harder and harder to spot a real traditional surf band.
 I very nearly tagged Los Straitjackets with that label, but something just
 didn't seem right about it.  Sometimes they're not particularly surfy...
 just playing good ol' rock n roll instro music.  And when they do play
 it wet, there's something hovering in the mix that you didn't hear on any
 Astronauts album.  Mike Tyson said he fought with "bad intentions."  I
 think that's what I'm hearing here.
      Just above the mix on these trad-sounding tracks you'll hear something
 cold and menacing.  Kinkyinstro.  It doesn't hurt that they wear ornate
 leather wrestling masks when they play, either.  Don't bother making the
 obvious comparisons to other anonymous rockers like Kiss, either, because
 these guys play the shit out of their instruments.  Besides, they're not
 all that anonymous.  Danny Amis (guitar) used to kick it out with The
 Raybeats.	Eddie Angel (guitar) came from Planet Rockers.  Scott Esbeck
 (bass) played with Dig Mandrakes, and L.J. Lester (drums) banged it out 
 with Webb Wilder.  
      The surfy tunes are excellent.  "Calhoun Surf" was a Raybeats song,
 so Amis probably didn't feel bad borrowing it for his new band.  It's an
 outstanding piece of traditional writing with a great melody.  The thing
 that really works best for this band, however, is the Spy sound.  With 
 "G-Man" and "Della Street," Los Straitjackets have given that genre two
 classic recordings.  Then there are the straight ahead instros like
 "Caveman," which is my pick for guttiest/coolest/spookiest track on the 
 album.  Once again you hear what sounds like straight forward instro, but 
 the lead guitar sighs and moans just above the mix in a very unsettling 
 way.  Kinky sex on dangerous drugs.  I don't know what that means.  I just
 tried to say what the music made me envision.  I'll go get psychological
 help.  You go get this record. - (DJ Johnson)



 MATCHBOOK SHANNON: Sob Story (Landphil)

 Usually, the only people we hear about that come from Omaha, Nebraska, are
 300 pound offensive linemen.  That may not be totally fair, but I'm having
 trouble thinking of any exceptions, except for one.  Matchbook Shannon is
 a 3-piece band that makes a cool noise.  Some of the songs are straight 
 forward medium-fast Pixie-esque punk, and some are deeper and more 
 introspective.  When they rock, there is almost always something bizarre 
 going on in the mix.  Sometimes it's an out of tune background vocal.  
 Sometimes it's the lead guitar that's not quite in tune.  On one track, 
 it's a dual guitar part that is the musical definition of chaos. On almost 
 every track, there's SOMETHING that isn't quite right, and that's exactly 
 what's so right about it.  When some bands try that trick, it sounds like 
 so much mush.  When Matchbook Shannon does it, it only makes the song 
 sound more unique and memorable.  

 Jon Hansen's guitar never lays out cliches.  Everything sounds raw and
 emotional.  He's able to make his guitar sound completely heartbroken.
 There are two distinct vocal styles, both of which fit the material.
 I'm not sure who sings which tracks, since both Jon and bassist Corey
 Beckman are credited as vocalists.  Both, along with drummer Doug Kabourek,
 are listed as writers of all tracks except "Double Joe," an excellent
 cover of a Simon Joyner tune.  The track that rips me to shreds is
 "Rebekah Song," a sad little G-D-C-Em chord progression with a tragic
 lyric and a ghost-like string section playing some very weird stuff under
 the mix.  Again, it's that discordant touch that helps cement the tune
 in your head.  

 Other standout tracks include (but sure as hell aren't limited to) a cool
 instro tune called "Sex Wax," a great melodic punk song called "Collector" 
 that would be a fantastic single, and "I (Tonic)," which is the one with 
 the dual guitar part I mentioned before.  

 The CD was produced by the band, along with engineers AJ and Mike Mogis of
 Whoop-Ass Studio in Lincoln, Nebraska.  It's sparse where it should be
 ("Double Joe's" raw power, for instance) and lavish where it has to be
 (check out the wall of guitars and the sleigh bells on "Different").
 Landphil Records has a WWW site at http://www.novia.net/landphil. You should
 check out the sample they have online there. - (DJ Johnson)



NRA - Access Only  (Bitzcore)
   These guys play a robust blend of hardcore and punk that I
personally find quite intriguing to say the least. Of course, me being
such a big melodic punk fan, I'm more partial to songs like "Abort Feelings",
"Another Day At Work", "Nothing" and "Don't Know" all of which contain
enough sing-alongable hooks to satisfy anyone. One thing that I like about
these guys is that they're not afraid to slow down the tempo occasionally
making songs like "American Girl" and "Windchill" even more effective
for the contrast. If you're a fan of a lot of the Epitaph bands I think
you'll really appreciate what these guys are doing.
(2211 N. Elston Ave.,  Chicago IL 60614) The Platterpuss



THE REVELERS - 91st Street Stomp  (Inbred)
   If this album had come out 15 years ago, ut would be referred to, by
power pop fans all over with the same reverence that's saved for records
like the first Romanticsalbum or the first few Shoes LPs. To these ears
it would seem that these guys got it all - clever yet heartfelt, hook-
laden songs, melodic vocals with just the right anount of nasal and the
musical chops to tie it all together very  handily. Definitely a big
winner.
(PO Box 14157,  Cleveland OH 44114) The Platterpuss



THE SACRED HEARTS - Psyche Out EP   (Twist)
    For the longest time these guys have, inexplicably to me, remained one
of the world's best kept secrets, at least here in the States. Their
blend of garage and power pop with some psych elememts thrown in has
produced some of my favorite records of the 90's. This EP is only going
to reaffirm that opinion as all 4 songs on here are absolute aces and
more straight-ahead power pop than the record's title might indicate. Now
that Twist Records has a US distributor (at least for mailorder) you can
actually finally get your hands on some of the incredible records by
these guys, The Mystreated and The Lust-O-Rama that I've been ranting
and raving about for the last few years.
(avail. thru Get Hip) -  The Platterpuss



THE SMITHEREENS -- Attack of the Smithereens (Capitol)

The Smithereens have always been a band to release B-sides. Now for the
first time, Capitol has released a collection of these rare cuts on
"Attack of the Smithereens". The new CD contains rare demos, live
performances, and cover songs recorded throughout their career. Some of
the songs have been previously released, some are exclusive to this CD.
Liner notes were written for the CD's 26 tracks by DiNKen (mostly Pat
DiNizio, "with a little help from his friend Dennis").

The CD starts off with the 1945 Smith College Women's Choir singing "Here
Come the Smithereens". This is just one of the many obscure tracks found on
the new CD. Some of the rarer tracks include live versions of "Behind the
Wall of Sleep" with Graham Parker (from MTV's Unplugged), Don't Be Cruel
(as performed with the song's writer - Otis Blackwell), "Just a Little"
(performed with The Beau Brummels), and "You Really Got Me" (performed with
The Kinks). Fans can also hear demos of classic Smithereens tunes like
"Blood and Roses" and "Yesterday Girl".

Among the covers included are faithful renditions of the Iggy Pop/David
Bowie collaboration, "Lust For Life", The Who's classic "The Seeker", Ringo
Starr's "It Don't Come Easy", and The Beatles' "One After 909". In case
that's not enough, the CD also includes a cover of the Frank & Nancy Sinatra
standard, "Something Stupid", and a rollicking version of the holiday
classic, "Rudolph, the Red-Nosed Reindeer".

This is one CD that's sure to be played a lot. Even if you're not a big
Smithereens fan, there is enough good material here to keep you interested.
Great CD.  - (Steve Marshall)



UNCLE JOE'S BIG OL' DRIVER - Chick Rock  (Headhunter/Cargo)
    For some reason, possibly 'cause I think that "Chick Rock" is a dumb
title, I wasn't expecting a whole lot from this, despite the fact that
it was produced by master knob twiddler Kurt Bloch. OK, so I was wrong,
maybe even very wrong. At their best these guys remind me of The Pontiac
Brothers who in turn sounded like a mixture of The Stones and The
Replacements. Their lead singer has a kind of Paul Westerberg, circa
"Bastards Of Young", boozy catch in his voice while the songs are in more
of a punky bar band Rock & Roll style. Of the 12 songs on here, at least
half are total barn burners making this a more than worthwhile purchase.
I bet these guys must bring the fuckin' house down live.
(4901-906 Morena Blvd.,  San Diego CA 92117-3432) - The Platterpuss



VARIOUS ARTISTS - Essential Sun Rockabillies, Vols 1 & 2 (Charly)

There are two volumes to this series, so far, and I highly recommend both
to anyone who loves this form of music.  As you may know, Sun Records has
a very important place in music history because it was the first label for
such greats as Elvis Presley, Carl Perkins, Roy Orbison, Jerry Lee Lewis
and Johnny Cash.  Perkins, Orbison and Lewis are represented on these two
discs, but the thing that makes these two CD's so great is the wealth of
obscurities.  To the casual listener, it's a virtual who in the hell is who
of rockabilly, because they won't know the names of Onie Wheeler, Charlie
Feathers, Macy Skipper, Narvel Felts or most of the others.  There are
twenty five songs on each CD, mostly by lesser known artists who really
should have been heard.

The liner notes are nothing short of fantastic.  The story of each artist
is told, band lineups are listed, and regrets are shared.  Billy Lee Riley,
(or just plain Bill Riley, depending on who you ask), who's classic "Red
Hot" is included on Vol 1, was on the verge of major success when Sam
Phillips, the owner of Sun, decided to put all his cash behind Jerry Lee
Lewis just as "Red Hot" was starting to get air play.  Phillips actually
told radio stations to stop playing the song in favor of more air time for
Lewis' "Great Balls Of Fire."  Riley got rip roaring drunk and kicked the
crap out of Sun Studios until Phillips showed up and placated him with more
promises of stardom...which never came.  This is a typical example of the
inside info in the liner notes.

The music covers the spectrum from country stomp to something just to
the right of R&B.  There are so many high points that it's hard to pick
just a few, but I will say that Jack Earl's "Crawdad Hole" is a song that
SOMEBODY had better cover someday.  These CD's are filled with great
rockers waiting to be covered.  Meanwhile, let's all start a letter writing
campaign to pressure Charly Records into a Volume 3. - (DJ Johnson)

               

 VARIOUS ARTISTS: Picklemania NYC (Riot/No Trousers)

      New York City always has a scene for every taste, and this is a good 
 attempt at showing the indie scene in all its glory.  Sea Monkeys start it 
 off with a classic ass-kicking of "I Can See Clearly Now" and from there on
 in it's a mixed bag of punk styles from trad to near psychedelia.  
      Some of the more interesting bands of the 90's appear here, including
 Iron Prostate, The Wives, Hot Corn Girls, Ff, Rats Of Unusual Size, 
 Molotov Cocktail and the aforementioned Sea Monkeys.  17 tracks without
 many throw-aways.  Some of the noisier tracks, like "In The Middle," by
 Ultra Bride, push the punk envelope a bit into the psych realm.  They make
 great sadistic aerobics music, too.  
 	  As to whether this is a definitive document of the current New York
 scene...I would say no.  It's too diverse to document in just 17 tracks.
 But then again, I doubt that Riot was shooting for a definitive document.
 Picklemania NYC sticks to a fairly narrow strip of the road, but it covers
 that strip nicely.  The two extremes would probably be Ff's "Bottomless
 Pitt" on the straight punk end and The Splitters' "Strange" on the trippy
 end.  If that's your bandwidth, this is your CD. - (DJ Johnson)



 VARIOUS ARTISTS: Punk Sucks (Liberation Records)

 A good solid compilation.  Thirty melodic punk tunes with only a few 
 clunkers.  I'll list the tracks because the lineup speaks for itself.
 I'd like to go on record first by saying that my favorite track is Quincy
 Punk's "Cereal Killer."  Always a sucker for a romantic lyric, I was 
 immediately smitten with the intro.  "Snap...crackle...pop...kill!"  For
 those of you who haven't been lucky enough to hear this one, lemme just
 tell ya that his Rice Crispies do indeed talk, and they tell him to kill
 you.  And he knows his cereal's never wrong.  So many good tracks, though.
 As I said, they'll speak for themselves, so here ya go.

 PENNYWISE - "Showdown"
 NO USE FOR A NAME - "Soulmate"
 TEN FOOT POLE - "Racer X"
 SUBLIME - "All You Need"
 HOME GROWN - "Face In The Crowd"
 VOODOO GLOW SKULLS - "Descendent's Song"
 WHITE KAPS - "Germs"
 88 FINGERS LOUIE - "Too Many"
 THE NEIGHBORS - "Sometimes"
 H.F.L. - "Old School Pride"
 EVERREADY - "I Hate You"
 BOLLWEEVILS - "New Dreams"
 UNWRITTEN LAW - "Crazy Poway Kids"
 GOOD RIDDANCE - "Mother Superior"
 BLINK - "M&M's"
 STRUNG OUT - "Support Your Troops"
 NAKED AGGRESSION - "Right Now"
 JUGHEADS REVENGE - "49 and 61"
 FUNERAL ORATION - "Damn You"
 OVERLAP - "Song #9"
 BOUNCING SOULS - "The Ballad Of Johnny X"
 BORIS THE SPRINKLER - "All My Time"
 GLUE GUN - "Skate The Haight"
 QUINCY PUNK - "Cereal Killer"
 FED UP! - "Can't Figure It"
 STRAIGHT FACED - "Omit"
 F.Y.P - "2000 A.D."
 FIGHTING CAUSE - "Bummers"
 SUPERNOVICE - "Out On The Grass"
 THE LIVING END - "Deadbeat"

 Quite a gathering, no?  This is all fast and in your face, right where you
 need it to be when you're out of coffee.  Or rocket fuel. - (DJ Johnson)



VARIOUS ARTISTS -- Rattlesnake Guitar: The Music of Peter
Green (Viceroy)

1995 was the year of the tribute CD. Some were great (like the Todd Rundgren
tribute "Still There is More"), some not so great (the John Lennon tribute
"Working Class Hero"). One of the best to come out last year was "Rattlesnake
Guitar". Peter Green was the original guitarist in Fleetwood Mac. Long before
they achieved their commercial success, they were a blues-based band. Green
wrote several songs that became successful for other artists, such as
Santana's signature version of "Black Magic Woman", Judas Priest's take on
"The Green Manalishi", and "Oh Well" (covered by several different artists).

The artists covering Green's songs are diverse. Guitarist Snowy White (who
has toured with Pink Floyd) contributes an excellent rendition of "Looking
For Somebody". The late Rory Gallagher (to whom the CD is dedicated)
contributes two tracks - "Leaving Town Blues" and "Showiz Blues". Bassist
extraordinaire Billy Sheehan turns in an amazing version of "Oh Well". In a
departure from his days in Uriah Heep, Ken Hensley does an interesting
acoustic version of "Hellbound on my Trail". Arthur Brown's menacing take on
"The Green Manalishi" is done as only he can.

Also featured on "Rattlesnake Guitar" are tracks performed by Ian Anderson
(Jethro Tull), Dave Peverett & Rod Price (Foghat), Stu Hamm & Jonathan Mover
(Joe Satriani), and many others. Don't overlook this CD - it's one of the
best of 1995. - (Steve Marshall)



 VARIOUS ARTISTS - Shreds Vol. 2  (Shredder)

    Vol. 1 of this series was one of the best compilations of 1994 and
Vol. 2 is definitely a more than worthy follow-up. Mel Shredder, the guy
who put this all together, is a big fan of melodic punk rock and this is
a collection of some of his favorite American indie singles from past year.
Though everyone will have his or her own favorites, some of mine are Cub's
poppy "Your Bed", the harder-edged punk of "Never Be Your Girl" by The
Fondled, "9:15" by Beatnik Termites, "Indifferent" by Red Number Nine and
"Pop Song" by The Phuzz. Coloring Book's "Time To Grow" is a softer,
prettier ballad that stands up quite well on its own in addition to being
a welcome change of pace. Other tracks by Atomic Boy, Wooly Mammoth,
Loose Change and Mark Brodie & The Beaver Patrol are also saved from a
much undeserved oblivious fate. All in all, if you're a fan of bands like
Green Day or The Parasites, you won't go wrong here.
(75 Plum Tree Lane #3,  San Rafael CA 94901) - The Platterpuss



VARIOUS ARTISTS - Sympophony #1  (Not Lame)

    This is actually a collection of 4 songs apiece by 5 different bands:
Martin Luther Lennon, The Rockerfellers, Cherry Twister, The Finns and The
Shambles. Of the batch I personally prefer Martin Luther Lennon whose
uptempo tunes are just filled with catchy hooks and Beatlesque harnmonies
making them all but irresistable. The only time they let me down was on
the lone non-original, a super slowed-down, ballady take on Gen-X's
"Dancing With Myself" which was actually kinda painful to play all the way
through. A close runner up in the fave rave dept. was The Shambles who
add a bit of bubblegum to their own perfect pop mix. Anyone who still
plays their old Monkees albums is sure to love these guys. The other 3
bands were not bad by any means even if they did take a back seat to the
top 2. Nonetheless, credit, thanks and support should be given to the folks
at Not Lame for giving all 5 of these bands some well-deserved exsposure
to a wider audience. - The Platterpuss



THE WHO -- Who's Next (MCA)

The Who's classic 1971 album, "Who's Next" was recently reissued - complete
with seven bonus tracks from the infamous "Lifehouse" era. Three of these
tracks came from discarded master tapes. Recovered from a dumpster outside
the studio, the multi-track tapes eventually became the source for the now
legendary bootleg, "From Lifehouse to Leeds". In May of 1995, Chris
Charlesworth (executive producer of the Who reissues) comandeered the return
of the tapes for use on the new CD.

As for the album's original nine songs, what more can be said? The sound
quality on the new CD is superb. When compared to the recently released 24K
gold version, the reissue (generally) has better sound. The background vocals
on "Behind Blue Eyes" are more distinct on the gold CD, and Pete Townshend's
acoustic guitar is pushed forward in the mix on a few of the songs. Aside
from that, pretty much everything else sounds better on the reissue.

For collectors, the highlights on the new CD are the bonus tracks, new liner
notes, & rare photos. Live versions of "Naked Eye" and "Water" were taken
from the 1971 concert at London's Young Vic Theatre. Also included is an
edited studio version of  "Baby, Don't You Do It" (about three minutes
shorter than originally recorded), and the slightly faster, original version
of "Pure and Easy".

Townshend and John Atkins (the editor of the Who fanzine "Generations")
contribute new liner notes to the individual tracks, as well as essays
detailing the creation of the "Lifehouse" project. Underneath the CD tray
is a photo of Keith Moon (complete with leather corset and whip) from the
photo shoot for the aborted original "Who's Next" cover.

The only negative thing to be said about the new CD (and this really isn't
bad) is the editing of the two live tracks from the Young Vic show. "Naked
Eye" segued into "Bonie Maronie" when originally performed. "Water" was
played earlier in the set. The good thing about the live tracks, though, is
that they sound great. There have been rumors circulating of MCA releasing
the entire Young Vic show. If there is any truth to the rumors, Who fans are
in for a real treat.

"Who's Next" is a required part of any Who fan's collection. Producer Jon
Astley and engineer Andy Macpherson (who have worked together on the entire
series of Who reissues) have taken an exceptional album and made it even
better. - (Steve Marshall)



----------------------------------------------------------------------------

FILM REVIEW:

LEAVING LAS VEGAS
By David Fenigsohn

Hollywood loves feel-good alcoholism. Movies about drunks give filmmakers 
free reign to use a slew of manipulative devices- audiences can start by 
laughing at the hapless drunk, then be shocked or angered by the drunk's bad
wicked ways, move on to feeling pity for the poor boozer who has ruined his 
life, and finally cheer his victory over adversity.

Hollywood is equally enamored of prostitutes, who can get the audience off 
for the first hour of a movie, then stop their whoring once they find love 
and happiness in the arms of a wealthy john.

Director Mike Figgis knows all about what Hollywood likes--he directed 
Richard Gere in the feel-good depression flick "Mr. Jones" as well as the
slick police thriller "Internal Affairs."  Which makes "Leaving Las Vegas" 
all the more a remarkable achievement.

"Leaving Las Vegas" is a well-crafted, relentless assault on its audience. 
Scene after scene simultaneously builds the audience pathos for its tragic 
characters while forcing us to witness their inevitable self-destruction.

Nicholas Cage plays Ben, a hopeless alcoholic who has failed in every aspect
of his life in Los Angeles. Upon losing his job, he abandons any hope of 
survival in the sober world, and lights a funeral pyre for all of the relics
of his past life before heading out to Las Vegas. He checks into a cheap 
motel which he stocks with gallons of booze, and sets out to "drink myself 
to death." Cruising the strip, he picks up Sera (Elisabeth Shue), a beautiful 
street whore. He brings her back to his home, The Whole Year Inn (which Ben 
reads as the "Hole You're In"). She attempts to go down on him, but he is in
too fragile a condition even for that--they end up falling asleep in each 
others' arms.

When not in the midst of a severe case of the shakes or a fit of vomiting, 
Ben displays a certain charm. He is gentle, generous and completely at ease 
with his slow, deliberate suicide. Sera, a victim of unspeakable abuse and a 
desperate loneliness, latches on to him, offering him her home, her body and, 
at times, glimpses of what lies beneath her scars.  Ben, often so far gone he 
views Sera as an angel from heaven, is unable to reciprocate with anything 
but the chance to take care of him, which is all Sera needs. In his own 
tragic, self-absorbed way, he loves her, but makes it clear the one condition 
of their togetherness is that she never ask him to stop drinking.

It is the ultimate dysfunctional love story, and the end is as devastating as 
it is predetermined.

Every role Cage plays make a stronger case for him being the best actor of 
his generation. In a extraordinarily difficult role, Cage is both charming 
and repulsive. Part of what makes 'Leaving Las Vegas' so difficult to watch 
are Cage's comic scenes--his timing is flawless, his face expressive, and the 
script serves him well. It's hard not to laugh at Cage's drunken bumbling. 
But as he continues his descent into hell, each laugh at Cage's expense is 
coupled with guilt and remorse at finding humor in his form of suicide.

Still, even with an Oscar-worthy performance, Cage is overshadowed by Shue. 
Perhaps because Cage has all ready built a reputation as one of today's best 
actors, it is easier to take his work for granted. Shue's previous movies 
have been a string of forgettable bit parts, flops, and teenage comedies. 
The depth and conviction she brings to her role comes as a surprise, and is 
an enormous credit to both her and Figgis. Her role is the inverse of 
Cage's--the persona her character has created shows nothing human other than
the sum of her marketable body parts. When not for sale, she struggles to 
prop up Cage, or submits to repulsive indignities at the hands of her pimp. 
Shue's greatest strength as an actress is convincing the audience of the 
inevitability of her life, to the point where her most irrational, 
self-destructive decisions seem not only plausible, but a horrific fate 
somehow out of her hands.

As a filmmaker, not only does Figgis draw the best out of his cast but out 
of his setting as well. The lights of Vegas are seen through a filter and a 
haze. Today, in reality, the city has been gentrified into a virtual 
Disneyland for all ages. But Figgis retains the city's sleaze and 
desperation. Vegas is typically portrayed as a city where people go with 
hopes dreams and desires, as irrational and seedy as they might be. Figgis 
instead presents Vegas as a place for those who have already lost any 
semblance of anything but revel in what they are. Figgis refuses to spare 
the audience in any way. Cage is shown losing control of his functions and 
facilities in graphic detail. The assault and rape of Shue are almost easier 
to view, since at least they are not completely self-inflicted. The camera 
will display the hallucinations of Cage's drunkenness only to jarringly 
return to the harsh light of an outside observer watching Cage passed out 
clutching a bottle, with Shue resigningly struggling to aid him.

Devastating and painful, "Leaving Las Vegas" is a film that no one will
enjoy, but one can not help but respect.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------
David Fenigsohn is a Seattle based free-lance writer covering the arts 
for a number of publications, both electronic and traditional. He is 
currently at work on a collection of short stories. He can be reached 
at a-davfe@microsoft.com, and welcomes any comments, correspondence, 
solicitations or criticism.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------

 BOOK REVIEW:

 THE RIVERMAN - By Robert D. Keppel, Ph.D. with William J. Birnes (Pocket 
 Books)
 Review by DJ Johnson

 It's a time honored practice within the publishing community to place a
 swastika somewhere on the cover of a book.  There is a good reason for 
 this -- it sells books.  Research has shown that the presence of that 
 nazi symbol of evil attracts readers.  Are these readers evil?  No, they're
 curious.  Curious about evil and willing to shell out money to read about
 it.

 It's a time honored practice to release true crime books, as well.  Murder
 stories sell because people want to look at things through the eyes of 
 evil and try to understand it.  Why do you think Helter Skelter continues
 to sell?  These books sell as well as the books with swastikas.

 "The Riverman" is a book about two seriel killers: Ted Bundy and The Green
 River Killer.  Bob Keppel was the chief investigator on both of those cases
 in Washington state.  Years after Bundy's arrest and conviction, as he was
 awaiting execution in Florida's electric chair, Keppel received word that
 Bundy wanted to talk to him.  Bundy thought he might avoid the chair if he
 could prove himself valuable as an investigator in the Green River case.
 His qualifications were obvious.  He had stalked a specific type of female,
 disposed of them in specific types of "dumping grounds" and vanished into
 thin air without being detected.  Keppel discussed the case with Bundy on
 several occasions, picking his brain and ultimately drawing pieces of 
 confession from Bundy himself.

 Transcribed from the tape recordings of their discussions, Bundy's words
 leave one with a chill.  He was a brutal killer, animalistic and cold,
 and he had no remorse.  He was not an idiot, however.  Bundy had a very
 intricate mind, and his analysis of the Green River Killer was often 
 well thought out and revolutionary.  Keppel's own disdain for Bundy was
 often mixed with something close to admiration, if only for his deductive
 abilities.  Not all of that was IQ driven, however.  Bundy was frequently
 speaking from experience, and that's the fact buried in the back of your
 mind that keeps things in perspective throughout this read.

 In the end, they didn't ever catch the Green River Killer.  He vanished 
 into history without a trace.  Bundy kept his date with "old Sparky,"
 but not before confessing to many of his murders.  His descriptions of
 decapitation, dumping and necrophilia may be more than the casual true
 crime buff can handle, and for that reason "The Riverman" must be seen
 as something more than the usual crime fare.  As a stark look inside the
 complex mind of a vicious predator, it is well worth the read.


 [Editor's Note: Vintage Guitar Books' "Stellas & Stratocasters," scheduled
  to be reviewed this issue, will be reviewed in the next issue instead.]
  
----------------------------------------------------------------------------

BETWEEN ZERO & ONE
By Steven Leith

THE KARMA METER IS RUNNING OUT

It appears that the idea of using military force to attempt to avert genocide
is not a very popular one.  Apparently we are only to use our military might
to make the world safe for oil profits or to obstruct nationalistic movements
or to stop revolution or to shut up loud-mouth dictators (who know where the
CIA's bodies are buried).

Our two hundred year history is a parade of wars.  Most of these wars have
something in common; they were undertaken to support our National Interests.
The debate about war has boiled down to one thing:  "Is it in our National
Interest to make war?"

Funny thing about Nations.  No one expects them to live by the same rules
that the rest of us do.  The citizens of a country are always exhorted to 
do the right thing. We learn in school, Church, Media and the Arts that we 
must embrace certain values because they are right.  I doubt anyone thinks 
they build up Karma on the Karma Meter by doing what is in their best 
interest.

Yet when it comes to a Nation the only thing we can think of to talk about
when issues arise is whether it is in the National Interest to take an 
action.  Open debate is confined, strangled, by the need to couch everything
in terms of National Interest.

Is it in the National Interest to allow Europeans to die by rape, torture
and starvation?   Some very vocal people seem to think so.  Well, they don't 
say that.  They say that it is not in our National Interest to get involved 
in a war where there is no oil, no U.S. Corporations and no Republican 
constituency.

Yes, war is a very great evil.  The only thing that can mitigate it, even a
little, is to make war when it is the right thing to do.  If we only make war
for profit we reinforce a system that has come to dominate the social and 
political fabric of this Nation.

Maybe if we put our troops in harm's way for the idea of peace, the concept 
of doing the right thing might spread across our Nation.  Maybe the Newt 
Right will no longer be able to use National Interest as an excuse when they
want to cut capital gains taxes, screw the states or feather the nests of 
their multinational corporate pals.

Even if the idea of making a Nation do the right thing does not catch on, at
least for this one moment in our long bloody history we will put some Karma 
back in the Meter.  The last time I looked, that Meter was showing violation.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

TYING TONGUES AND ZIPPING LIPS ON THE HILL
By DJ Johnson

Happy new year, everyone.  1995 wasn't so bad, when you really think about
it.  One of the most significant events of the year was the sinking of the
Communications Decency Act.  The government tried to take control of the
Internet, and in doing so tried to kill it.  Didn't work.  They backed off,
and we all took a collective deep breath and relaxed.  Oops.  We should
have kept filling those sand bags and digging those fox holes.

They're back.  Them.  The US Gov.  They'll never change, will they?  There
seems to be something about political power that makes people want to force
their morals on the masses.  The problem here is in the definitions.  What
is moral to you may be devil's food to me, so it's not a good idea for me
to define morality for the masses.  Got it?  Yeah, well...I'm sure you get
it, but there are apparently not many in DC that get it.  These are the
absolute worst people for the job of morality cops.  How many times have
we seen the sex scandals spring up around the senators or congressmen who
have yelled the loudest about morality?  Do we want someone telling us what
is and what isn't dirty while they themselves are probably frequent visitors
of alt.sex.pageboys.poke.poke.poke?  Will we trust them?  Here's a hint: Bob
Packwood voted in favor of the CDA last year.  Bob Packwood!

The real issue is simply that these people fear the Internet.  It's a wide
open form of communication that they haven't been able to regulate to death
yet.  They are constantly being verbally pummelled in news groups, e-mail
lists and electronic publications.  Worst of all, real information can be
passed from citizen to citizen.  The last thing most politicians want is an
informed voting public.  Let's face it, most of these schmoes would be out
on their ears if the Internet community ever mobilized against them.  And
here's the funny part -- they know that, yet they're bringing it on
themselves with these actions.  You know those astonishing statistics on
the growth of the online population?  Scary numbers, especially if you're
in danger of pissing them all off at once, but nobody ever accused the
average politician of possessing common sense.

So here we are in 1996, an election year that promises to be one of the most
important ever.  Will the GOP win the White House, and if so, will Canada
offer the rest of us asylum?  Will the Christian Coalition gain more power
and HELP these politicians dictate morality?  Will it be mandatory to say
grace before every meal or sex act?  Or will you do something about all this
bullshit while we can still SAY bullshit without going to prison for two
years and paying a 100,000 dollar fine?

How about that.  A hundred grand for saying "bullshit."  Two years in the
slammer.  Of course, we don't know where the lines will be drawn, so it's
possible you could do time for saying "hell."  Or "muffin."  or "impeach."
And once this door has been opened, the flood gates will follow.  Music,
art, television -- all have been attacked unsuccessfully in the past, but
it'll be open season if this isn't squashed by the Supreme Court.  We have
already been informed that President Clinton isn't apt to veto it.  Great.
What must our friends in other countries think of all this?  Isn't the net
a world with no borders, after all?  How will these new US laws be enforced
in the multi-national cyberworld?  How can we keep them from even trying?

GLAD ya asked!  Yes, there are plenty of things you can do.  First of all,
get the facts.  There are several places where you can learn about this.
This column is too short to list all the details of the current bill, so  
I suggest you try all the links listed below and just look around.
Be detectives.  The content on these sites can change from day to day,
so keep going back.  Arm yourself with knowledge.  Then bombard your
congressional and senatorial reps with e-mail, voice mail and mail mail.
TELL them that you're getting tired of this.  Most importantly, take notes.
See who fights for you and who fights against you.  Then use those notes
to make wise choices in the next few elections.  If they can't behave, kick
'em out.  We have the numbers to do that.  To paraphrase Admiral Yamamoto,
they have awakened a sleeping giant.  And I, for one, ain't goin' back to
sleep.

[Editor's Note: The following is the HTML code used in this column in the WWW
version of Cosmik Debris.  It contains the URL's of important WWW sites that
have information about this issue.  Please cut & paste this into your own
bookmarks and go educate yourselves on this important subject.  It's vital.]

<HR>
<H3>FOLLOW THESE LINKS TO FREEDOM</H3>
<UL>
<LI><A HREF="ftp://ftp.aclu.org/aclu/">[]</A>ACLU (American Civil Liberties
Union)
<LI><A HREF="http://www.cdt.org/">[]</A>Center for Democracy & Technology
<LI><A HREF="http://www.eff.org/">[]</A>Electronic Frontier Foundation
<LI><A HREF="http://www.epic.org/">[]</A>Electronic Privacy Information
<LI><A HREF="http://www.vtw.org/">[]</A>Voters Telecommunications Watch
<LI><A HREF="http://www.hotwired.com/special/indecent/">[]</A>Hotwired's
special section on this issue
</UL>
<HR>

============================================================================
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                      ]]       ]]    ]]    ]]     ]]  ]]      !
    :                 ""      """"   """"  """""  """""     +        . 

             Random stuff for your entertainment.  Happy scrolling!

                                                                            

                     International Hypocrisy Day
                     ---------------------------
        
               Millions of people do not read or write.
               Hundreds of isolated programs spout great
               words about helping people learn.

               Millions of people do not read or write.
               Corporations pump out propaganda about how
               much wonderful work they are doing.
               Millions of people do not read or write.
               Literacy professionals pursue
               their lifelong careers
	
               Millions of people do not read or write.
               Governments speak of their initiatives.
               Millions of people do not read or write.
               Universities and colleges study adult
               literacy and write hundreds of papers and studies.
                              
               Millions of people do not read or write.
               Fuck all the experts.

               Millions of people do not read or write.
               Power to the people who cannot read and write.

               Millions of people do not read or write.
               Remove yourself from the path of power
               if you do not represent the
	
               Millions of people do not read or write.

                       -Bob Allisat
                                        


       

Are you that doggone god that's been feeding us boneless cod for so long?
Well so long, sucker, 'cause I'm that dog that bites once I spot those weak 
egg whites of your eyes.

				                         xPIKEx

		

      Those are my principles. If you don't like them I have others.

             -- Groucho Marx


     		
		the land's end -- golden dead meadows of marin & sonoma
		-------------------------------------------------------

		so.  karen is driving.  when did i agree to die?

		well you should have been there!  the tarmac turns
		tighter than a lonesome russian bearhugs.  did you know
		the russians built a fort here?  it says so:  russian
		fort -- fort ross.  90 seconds as the missile flies from
		market/castro crossing.  the intersection.  just
		a surgical vaporflash from the lemmongrass on van ness.
		at 5.75 a gourmet dish -- world's best thai food -- we
		think you definitely should.

		drivin' drivin' drivin'.  gazin' gazin' at a silver haze.
		ocean crashing.  my those rocks are steep.  that there
		surf so far awaaaay.  foamin' foamin' foamin'.

		curious point about the local flora.  it's gone gone gone.
		cows and sheep have done the deed.  who gave those hooved
		fuckers permission to eat up the land.  now california
		is said to be parching with a golden dry-sprinklered sheen.

		to see what it used to be like, look to the west west west.
		across the water.  across the ocean bay into the national
		seashore.

		thick 'n' green and studded with trees.  noticably redolent
		with the absence.  of cows.  of sheep of.  private.
		property.  no tresspassing.  you turkey.

		so.  california was raped by a gold rush.  then farmed into
		a golden drought.  now we see its golden overgraze.  golden
		golden dancing bears.  must have done that.  golden benz
		another sign of overgrazing -- slicks the city.  the city of
		stunning lookers.  stunning views.
		
		we walk the golden gate for hours.  in wind and wuthering.
		in red in golden lights in dusk in night.  to and fro marin.
		all around us twinkle/darken the city the alcatraz the bay.

		california uber alles.  say it ain't so jello.  say it
		ain't so.  bad jello.  no donut.


                                        -Marek Lugowski



 I stayed up all night playing poker with tarot cards.  I got a full house
 and four people died.
                               -- Steven Wright



           I Shot a Moose Once (a monologue by Woody Allen)
           ------------------------------------------------

Here's a story you're not going to believe.  I shot a moose once.  I was 
hunting in upstate New York and I shot a moose.  And I strap him onto the 
fender of my car, and I'm driving home along the West Side Highway.  But 
what I didn't realize was that the bullet did not penetrate the moose.  It 
just creased his scalp, knocking him unconscious.  And I'm driving through 
the Holland tunnel and the moose woke up.  So I'm driving with a live moose 
on my fender and the moose is signaling for a turn.  And there's a law in 
New York State against driving with a conscious moose on your fender, 
Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays.  And I'm very panicky.  

And then it hits me -- some friends of mine are having a costume party.  
I'll go.  I'll take the moose.  I'll ditch him at the party.  It wouldn't
be my responsibility.  So I drive up to the party and I knock on the door. 
The moose is next to me.  My host comes to the door.  I say, "Hello, you 
know the Solomons."  We enter.  The moose mingles.  Did very well.  Scored.  
Some guy was trying to sell him insurance for an hour and a half.  

Twelve o'clock comes, they give out prizes for the best costume of the night.  
First prize goes to the Berkowitzes, a married couple dressed as a moose.  
The moose comes in second.  The moose is furious!  He and the Berkowitzes
lock antlers in the living room.  They knock each other unconcious. 

Now, I figure, here's my chance.  I grab the moose, strap him on my fender, 
and shoot back to the woods.  But I've got the Berkowitzes.  So I'm driving 
along with two Jewish people on my fender.  And there's a law in New York 
State, Tuesday, Thursday and especially Saturday... 

The following morning, the Berkowitzes wake up in the woods in a moose suit.
Mr. Berkowitz is shot, stuffed and mounted at the New York Athletic Club. 
And the joke is on them, because it's restricted. 



                     Anything Except Love
                     --------------------

                  Struggle to gather together
                  a few stripped down monosyllables
                  into the meaningless strings
                  of colourless expressions
                  as the tokens of freedom
                  where there is precious little.
					
                  Winston Smith still sits there
                  in a cafe at the end of fiction,
                  drinking his gin ration properly,
                  still wondering how many fingers,
                  and playing unemotional chess
                  with the minds of passing women.

                  I could write words to the masses,
                  words that would say I love her,
                  and that has to be what passes
                  as my communicative freedom,
                  those words she never hears
                  become fucking grafitti on walls.
					
                  My freedom of association
                  allows me to be going places,
                  among public mickey mouse clubs
                  where everyone is a shallow put-on,
                  of the same mousekateer ears,
                  join-in the put-down of donald duck.
               
                  I have lost my mousekateer ears,
                  or I have the wrong ears on - again,
                  red instead of black - I hear badly,
                  today all the mousekateers whisper
                  that I do not look as I should,
                  implying I joined the other side.
					
                  So very presumptuous of me
                  to imagine we could meet,
                  before every star has fallen
                  down from the skies above,
                  into freedom from heaven and hell
                  so we can all be nearly human again.
                
                  If it is not the angelic dupes
                  then for sure the aetheric devils
                  that will never give us peace,
                  as I keep recanting everything
                  I ever believed in, except Sartre,
                  saying that hell is other people.
                                
                  They pour the bright red paint
                  into the mixing bowl of my skull
                  then turn on the psychic blender
                  laugh machine until it is a red puree
                  of something to smear onto flags
                  for future Mayday parades.
					
                  The word "love" is scrawled
                  in huge golden alphabets
                  on the nose-cones of missiles,
                  each defending another slogan
                  from someone's ideologies,
                  though death is always only death.

                  When we become only a dead myth
                  that I then say I wove from nothing,
                  the droning that constantly saturates
                  the ruined remains of a creative mind,
                  then that really might be progress
                  if I still remember how to say that.
		
                  If she could fall into my arms
                  I know I could again be really happy,
                  I refuse to recant my eyes looking
                  everywhere they allow me to look,
                  to find I cannot find her in a story,
                  and I cannot find her in myself.
					
                  I have been told a million times,
                  in a thousand different ways,
                  in the space of a million minutes,
                  that she will never invite me,
                  that she does not know I exist,
                  and to choose anything except love.
                                          
                           -Bob Ezergailis



     Men occasionally stumble over the truth, but most of them pick
     themselves up and hurry off as if nothing had happened.

         -- Winston Churchill (1874-1965)
 

                                        
     	A tourist wanders into a back-alley antique shop in San
	Francisco's Chinatown. Picking through the objects on display he
	discovers a detailed, life-sized bronze sculpture of a rat.
	The sculpture is so interesting and unique that he picks it up
	and asks the shop owner what it costs.
		
	"Twelve dollars for the rat, sir," says the shop owner, "and a
	thousand dollars more for the story behind it."

	"You can keep the story, old man," he replies, "but I'll take
	the rat."

	The transaction complete, the tourist leaves the store with the
	bronze rat under his arm. As he crosses the street in front of
	the store, two live rats emerge from a sewer drain and fall into
	step behind him. Nervously looking over his shoulder, he begins
	to walk faster, but every time he passes another sewer drain,
	more rats come out and follow him. By the time he's walked two
	blocks, at least a hundred rats are at his heels, and people
	begin to point and shout. He walks even faster, and soon breaks
	into a trot as multitudes of rats swarm from sewers, basements,
	vacant lots, and abandoned cars. Rats by the thousands are at his
	heels, and as he sees the waterfront at the bottom of the hill,
	he panics and starts to run full tilt.
	
	No matter how fast he runs, the rats keep up, squealing
	hideously, now not just thousands but millions, so that by the
	time he comes rushing up to the water's edge a trail of rats
	twelve city blocks long is behind him. Making a mighty leap, he
	jumps up onto a light post, grasping it with one arm while he
	hurls the bronze rat into San Francisco Bay with the other, as
	far as he can heave it. Pulling his legs up and clinging to the
	light post, he watches in amazement as the seething tide of rats
	surges over the breakwater into the sea, where they drown.
		
	Shaken and mumbling, he makes his way back to the antique shop.
	
	"Ah, so you've come back for the rest of the story," says the
	owner.
	
	"No," says the tourist, "I was wondering if you have a bronze
	Republican."


                            

  Diplomacy is the art of saying "nice doggy" until you can find a rock.




                   Emptiness in a Short White Dress
                   --------------------------------

                   can you call that a dress
                   when it should be called a skirt
                   but how can it be called a skirt
                   when skirts are longer
                   and how long can you stare
                   into the mirror
                   admiring a reflection
                   that is only a reflection
                   of complete emptiness
                   and how can you believe
                   what you want to believe
                   knowing very well
                   the world knows the truth
                   your life is not a page 
                   from a glamour magazine
                   nor a clip from a movie
                   it is not a verse from a song
                   or a page from a book
                   it is the same
                   as hers
                   his
                   and mine
                   so look beyond the mirror
                   with eyes that aren't dreaming
                   and see what is real
                   and passing you by

                              -Stephen Lasher
                                        


There are two major products to come out of Berekley:  LSD and UNIX.
We don't believe this to be a coincidence.


                                                                                  -Stephen Lasher
	   

                         Soul Shadow
                         -----------
				
                         "Swift Eagle"
                          he is summoned onstage by his brother
                          the crowd is hushed, expectant
                          there is no breeze to stir the feathers 
                          strapped to his arms
                          strapped to his back
                          bright colours muted by the roar of the sun
                          feathers passed down 
                          by ancestors 
                          from ancestors
                          to ancestors
                          ancient feathers of his totem
                          now protected by interlopers' law
                          Swift Eagle stands proud
                          tall and straight
                          an arrow aimed at the heart of the sun
                          poised
                          waiting
                          ready
                          to fly
				
                          his father's fingers
                          weathered and wise 
                          teach the taut skin of the drum
                          know the rhythm
                          know the heartbeat
                          know the earthbeat
                          his father's voice rises and falls
                          an undulating chant cooling the arid air
                          singing up a draft, a breeze, a wind
                          the crowd is still, silent, fading, gone
                          he has sung them out of being

                          Swift Eagle spreads his arms...
					
                          ...i spread my wings and soar upon the song
                          my brother Sun casts my shadow far below
                          i see it swoop over the dry plains
                          i see it soar over the mountain peaks
                          i see it glide over the cool waters
                          i lift my head 
                          i cry my exultation
                          i cry my freedom
                          my wings gather the wind and lift me higher
                          Mother Earth smiles below as i pierce the blue skies
                          the rhythm of life beats 
                          within my head
                          within my heart
                          within my soul
                          i fly
                          i am free
                          i am eagle
                          i am Swift Eagle....

                          ... the song has finished
                          the echoes of the drum's voice
                          are absorbed by the rock walls
                          the crowd are reality again
                          Swift Eagle stands with his arms by his side
                          and lets the waves of appreciation
                          break upon his proud humbleness
                          on the ground behind him
                          the sun of his ancestors
                          casts a shadow of his soul

                          an eagle spreads its wings
                          and soars

                                -Tim Patterson



     "Professor Goddard does not know the relation between action and
     reaction and the need to have something better than a vacuum against   
     which to react. He seems to lack the basic knowledge ladled out   
     daily in high schools."

     -- 1921 New York Times editorial about Robert Goddard's revolutionary
        rocket work.





                    A Ram Amongst the Briers
                    ------------------------
                    The diesel drones, an airplane roars,
                    Those cicadas saw me with wings' screams
                    And the bleating gulls encircle.
                       
                    Sleepy-time for a drugged Lord
                    Nodding, ears a-buzz, in heat's humid
                    Comforter of the August afternoon.
                                
                    From out this distant sky a bird
                    Warbles unseen, from the far east or west,
                    Noting its presence to none of its own.
					
                    Some incongruence of lush and worn,
                    Some quiet craziness askew in unstraight lines,
                    Some stench, some floridity, freshly spoiled.
                        
                    Quite quickly, there's a stillness,
                    A rest, of silent counting,
                    That cushions the two cacophonies - 
                    Plunge of life and death's eternity,
                    The hills, ravines, smoothed to flat
                    Monotony.  Once remembered
                    Sweet, sour pain - truest, fullest identity.
                    -------

In memory of Christopher Meyer, abducted and killed August 7, 1995 near 
Kankakee, Illinois;  dead at the age of ten years of multiple stab wounds. 
The suspect arrested, Timothy Buss, age 27, was recently released from a 
prison term for the killing of 5 year old Tara Sue Huffman, fourteen years
earlier. Title from story of Abraham and Isaac:"a ram amongst the briers" 
was given to die instead of the child.

See
http://homepage.interaccess.com/~alemaj/rambrier.htm
A list of links to Child Abuse, Missing Children, and Child Rights sites.






*All rights to all of these pieces are solely retained by the author. Please
see our contacts page for information on how to contact them. If you would
like to submit something for the Debris Field please e-mail aquaria@serv.net

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

            
 
           E-MAIL ADDRESSES FOR CONTACTING COSMIK DEBRIS' WRITERS

                      
               DJ Johnson (Editor)......moonbaby@serv.net
               Cai Campbell.............vex@serv.net
               James Andrews............jimndrws@serv.net
               Louise Johnson...........aquaria@serv.net
               coLeSLAw.................coleslaw@greatgig.com
               Scott Wedel..............syzygy@cyberspace.com
               Andrew Ian Feinberg......afeinber@panix.com
               Steven Leith.............leith@serv.net
               Steve Marshall...........MHND71F@prodigy.com
               David Fenigsohn..........a-davfe@microsoft.com
               The Platterpuss..........Plattrpuss@aol.com
                             
               Cosmik Debris' WWW site..http://www.greatgig.com/cosmikdebris
               Subscription requests....moonbaby@serv.net
               Cai Campbell's BBS (Great Gig In The Sky)..206-935-8486

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