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                 I S S U E # 7:  D E C E M B E R   1 9 9 5 
=============================================================================

                DJ Johnson.................Editor
                Louise Johnson.............Assistant Editor
                Jim Andrews................Web Site Editor
                coLeSLaw...................Artist/Mad Scientist

                         - The Cosmik Writers -

                Jim Andrews..................Urbania
                Drew Feinberg................Drew's Views
                Steven Leith.................Political & Between Zero & One
                Steve Marshall...............Music & Record Reviews
                The Platterpuss..............Record Reviews
                Scott Wedel..................Music 
                                
----------------------------------------------------------------------------

                   T A B L E   O F   C O N T E N T S


  EDITOR'S NOTES - DJ can't seem to find some of his writers.

  LABELLED: BOMP RECORDS - An interview with Greg Shaw, one of the pioneers
      of the "rock press" in the 60's.  For the past 21 years, Shaw has been
      putting out incredible music through Bomp and Voxx records.

  THE WIVES IN '95 - An interview with Sue Horwitz, guitarist and singer
      with one of the hottest melodic punk bands in the biz, The Wives.

  MAN OR ASTRO-MAN?'S EUROPEAN TOUR DIARY - Get inside the mind of one of the
      most interesting aliens assigned to earth, Birdstuff, drummer of Man Or
      Astro-Man?.  See what happened and when as MOA cruised through Europe
      earlier this year.  Next month, part two: the western US.

  THE COSMIK DEBRIS GUIDE TO CHRISTMAS CD'S - Steve Marshall offers some good
      suggestions for holiday music shoppers.

  RECORD REVIEWS - Everything from punk to pop and even a touch of jazz.

  BOOK REVIEW - Guitar Stories, a great new book from Vintage Guitar Books.

  DJ'S FIRST NON-STICK COLUMN - Not wanting to award a sharp pointed stick to
      an entire network and the people who watch it, DJ decided to simply
      rant and rave about TNN instead.

  BETWEEN ZERO AND ONE: BUY OR DIE - Steve Leith takes on a subject near and
      dear to us all: TAXES!

  THE DEBRIS FIELD - Another random scattering of poems, quotes, lyrics and
      basically anything that doesn't fit elsewhere.

  HOW TO CONTACT US WITHOUT PUTTING YOURSELF IN ANY IMMEDIATE DANGER - Our
      e-mail addresses.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
 
 EDITOR'S NOTES

     Has anyone seen my staff?  Boy, does that sound like a twisted pick-
up line, or what!?  I'm serious, though.  After half a year of Cosmik Debris
things continue to change.  We no longer have the services of Art Fridrich,
aka THE OLD MAN, who has been entertaining you with his Old Man Radio Hour
Interviews.  He took a job in Washington DC that doesn't involve a radio
station.  That means the only punks he has access to are the ones running
the country, which are the wrong KIND of punks, I'm afraid.  We're sure 
going to miss his interviews.  
     Last month, we erroneously reported that Jim Andrews, our "Urbania" 
columnist, had been abducted by radicals of the political right.  In truth,
Jimbo had simply slipped out for a pack of Marlboros, leaving his TV on and
Rush Limbaugh on the screen.  Apparently it follows The X Files.  Honest
mistake.  Actually, Jim is taking X amount of time off from the column to
concentrate on the HTML work on the new and improved Cosmik Debris homepage.
As you've probably noticed, he did an incredible job, and he's still at it,
coming up with a new modification just about every day.  As soon as it all
settles down to some sort of routine, Urbania will return.	We sincerely
hope that our irresponsible reporting didn't cause anyone any discomfort.
It won't happen again.  We've grown up a lot since last month.
     In an unrelated story, Drew's Views columnist Drew Fienberg has been
abducted by bible-thumping members of the Religious Right, who demand that
Cosmik Debris turn Jim Andrews over to them immediately.  As an unfortunate
result, Drew's Views will not appear in this issue.  But when we get our
hands on the creeps who are responsible for this...well...something will
happen to them.  Something bad.
     We hope you enjoy this issue of Cosmik Debris DESPITE the black hole
in our columns section.  In another unrelated story...we're looking for a
few good writers.  Columns, music, poli-social, etc.  If you want to write
for us, and you don't mind hysterical editors who are terribly demanding
about the deadline...and you don't mind not being paid, send e-mail to
moonbaby@serv.net.  If you have what we're looking for, we'll have a golden
key to the executive washroom made up for you.  You'll love it in there.
I actually have my office in there.  Hand blowers and the works.  

 
 DJ Johnson
 Worry-wart

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
      
      WHO PUT THE BOMP...
      An interview with Greg Shaw of Bomp Records
      By DJ Johnson
      
      
      It has become a tired cliche to say "he has seen and done it all."  
 It's been applied to just about everybody who has spent more than ten years 
 in the record business.  When speaking of Greg Shaw, however, there is no
 hesitation in saying he has seen and done it all.  Immersed in the San 
 Francisco underground music scene in the mid 60s, Shaw, an avid record 
 collector, began writing about rock and roll at a time when the rules for
 such writing had yet to be defined.  Since that time, he has travelled every
 corner of the music business from artist management to label boss.  His 
 main label, Bomp Records, has released some of the most influential and 
 important music of our time.  Bomp's younger sibling, Voxx Records, has 
 provided many lesser known but deserving bands with a chance to be heard.  
 Shaw has survived over twenty years of ups and downs in an industry that 
 eats people alive, but there has been a toll.  Any rose tinted glasses that 
 he may have worn in the past have long since been removed in favor of 
 clearer vision.  It's not always pretty when someone tells it like it really 
 was, but then revisionist history isn't particularly educational, either.  
 This is a look at the past, present and future of the music business from a 
 man who truly has seen and done it all.


               *    *    *    *    *    *    *    *    *


 Cosmik Debris:  How would you describe your musical education?

 Greg Shaw:  I don't have any. I was a record collector from childhood and 
    as I got into my 20s I got serious about digging into the stories behind 
    my favorite records. In the early days of Bomp I was guilty of writing 
    some hideously ignorant stuff.

 Cosmik:  Ignorant how?  Can you give us any examples? 

 GS:  Well there was a lot of writing about bargain bin discoveries in those 
    days. Most of the bands now considered classic were then completely 
    unknown. I remember once in Bomp dismissing an early Bob Seger album as 
    pointless piffle, not realizing that he was a Rock God to people in 
    Detroit. Even worse, in a 1966 issue of Mojo Navigator, we published an 
    editorial excoriating Bill Graham for his rumored desire to book Paul 
    Revere & the Raiders at the Fillmore. Man, Bill, those guys just weren't 
    hip! Little did I know how I'd change my tune in years to come...

 Cosmik:  You had your first magazine before Rolling Stone came along, is 
    that right?

 GS:  Yes.  The modern rock press "as we know it" was dreamed up ca 1965-6 
    by two guys, Paul Williams (Crawdaddy) and myself. We both started 
    publishing stuff around the same time, within the circle of sci-fi 
    fandom. He branched out with an all-rock zine a bit earlier than I did, 
    though I never saw his until after mine, Mojo-Navigator Rock & Roll News, 
    was going.  He was based in Boston and also covered the NY and UK scenes. 
    I was in San Francisco and concentrated on profiling the local 
    bands/scene. Lenny Kaye was also around. I have one of his fanzines 
    from 64-5 where he was talking a lot about rock.  Mojo was also the 
    first underground zine in SF, we were veterans by the time The Oracle 
    came along, and Jann Wenner, who started Rolling Stone, used to come by 
    our teenage hippie apartment to watch us turn the crank on the mimeograph 
    machine and ask how it was done.
 
 Cosmik:  And you had to go and show him.  What was the underground scene
    like in those years before the "Summer of Love?"

 GS:  I thought it was the ultimate in cool. The Haight-Ashbury, and other 
    areas of San Francisco like North Beach, were in the late stages of the 
    beat scene. You could still see guys like Ferlinghetti, Ginsberg, and 
    Brautigan walking the streets. Other than them, the streets were pretty 
    empty except for guys who were in the first few bands on the scene...
    Dead, Quicksilver, Charlatans, Big Brother, Mystery Trend, Great Society, 
    Airplane... A couple little struggling shops, mostly mod clothing places 
    but also the Psychedelic Shop. And every week an underground party at 
    somebody's house, or a benefit at some workers' hall, or some artsy scene 
    where a cool band was playing. It felt like a real community, although 
    admittedly I, at 16, didn't feel much a part of it. Everybody was l0 
    years older. I was amazed to see guys walking around with hair down to 
    their waists... at school, I was getting shit for mine being a half inch 
    too long... The Psychedelic Shop was a great place to hang out, they 
    played ethnic music, Indian tribal chants, etc, had a meditation room, 
    weird publications, you'd run into guys like Leary there. But this is 
    1965 I'm talking about. 66 was very cool too. The Fillmore and Avalon 
    were holding 2 dances a week, and other venues had them frequently too. 
    It was a solid music scene. The bullshit didn't start till '67, as you 
    say, the Summer of Love. I'm sure glad I was there. It gave me a benchmark 
    that's served me throughout my life, of just how it feels when an 
    important scene is in its formative stages. For me, being there when it's 
    starting to happen is the Holy Grail of pop culture. If you have to wait 
    to read about it somewhere, it's already too late. I was fortunate again 
    to be in the same position, only more experienced, more capable, when 
    Punk started to happen. If there is ever another cool scene again, I 
    could see myself being one of those elder-guru types. There were a few 
    around the Haight, even then, though I couldn't imagine what they'd been
    doing the previous few decades... There is nothing to compare with 
    being involved in a scene that matters, that transcends personal 
    ego-trips and obvious cultural vectors... where it feels like the human 
    spirit has broken free and loosed the winds of Chaos... it happens 
    periodically, but it sure hasn't happened in awhile. I was expecting it 
    in the 90s, but the death grip of consumer culture just seems too strong. 
    I think LSD had a lot to do with freeing up creativity in my teenage 
    years, and while I know it's around again now, people are taking very 
    wimpy doses.. 50-80 micrograms typically. We had it in 500 or 1000 
    microgram capsules, and maybe that makes all the difference. I don't 
    think people necessarily need drugs to be original, but I think it helps 
    a lot of folks get past the "surface tension" of conventional culture. 
    The forces of conditioning are so strong these days that I suspect we 
    need an equally strong deconditioning agent... if not LSD, then something
    of equivalent power. Personally, I think the revival of ancient ritual,
    magical empowerment of the TOPY variety, and neo-shamanism may fill the 
    gap. But hey, that's a question you didn't ask. Sorry!

 Cosmik:  I may have asked, eventually.  But it's always a little scary to 
    ask people how they feel about that now.  Getting back to the magazine
    biz, was "Who Put The Bomp" the predecessor of "Bomp?"  Or were they one 
    and the same?

 GS:  After the Mojo folded in 67 (RS and its commercial style sorta took 
    away my enthusiasm for awhile) I stopped writing, and came back to it 
    after a year or so with a series of zines that were circulated mainly, 
    again, in SF fandom.  One of these, which was devoted to music, had a 
    different title every issue, always the title of some old song I liked. 
    For some reason, I stopped doing so with issue 4 or 5 and just kept the 
    current song title, which was "Who Put the Bomp". There is a story in 
    Greil Marcus' first book about a number of people in an elevator, one 
    starts singing this song, and the others all join in one at a time; 
    proving I guess that rock was some kind of universal cult language. I 
    liked the way he told it, I think that was why I used it. While I've 
    always been a huge fan of the Brill Building, this was hardly my idea 
    of the best song to come out of there. (In fact, I think "Da Doo Ron 
    Ron" was another of my early issues.  I don't have 'em handy to check, 
    sorry).

 Cosmik:  You had some major league writers over the years, like Greil Marcus,
    Lester Bangs, Dave Marsh... It's probably an unfair question, but who 
    would you say was the most important writer of the era?

 GS:  A lot of these name writers wrote in Bomp because it was the only 
    alternative to the professional zines; and in the early days we talked 
    quite a bit about the music press and various arcane areas of interest 
    to such working writers.  Marcus wrote a very good piece on Buddy Holly 
    for Bomp but the best had to be Lester Bangs and his "James Taylor Must 
    Die!" piece on the Troggs. He was staying at my place for a couple weeks 
    and in the course of that visit I played the Troggs for him; he'd never 
    heard anything but their hits, and I have something like 9 albums by 
    them... so he was inspired to do his rant. In general, I think Lester 
    was the best writer of his time, or maybe ever, in the rock field (he 
    also wrote a novel that was not about music, and it was pretty damn good 
    too; I read it in manuscript [form] and I guess it must've disappeared 
    because when he died, none of his literary executors knew about it...). 
    With him, the top of my list would include Nik Cohn, Nick Kent, John 
    Mendelssohn, and Nick Tosches. (I wonder what it means that most of them 
    are named Nick?) I think I'd also include Paul Williams, but not most of 
    the other Crawdaddy writers (Meltzer, Pearlman, Landau, etc) who never 
    impressed me that much.

 Cosmik:  When you see what has become of the mainstream music press, how do 
    you feel?  For example, can you read Rolling Stone?

 GS:  I haven't liked RS since the early '70s... or Creem, since Marsh and 
    Bangs left.  I don't read the rock press, I don't think it has anything 
    much to say these days.  I find out more useful info on bands from the 
    Internet.  Though I like some things about some zines (like Forced 
    Exposure, or Ben is Dead) I think the whole field is pretty pointless.
 
 Cosmik:  Looking back, when do you think the music press really ran out of
    important things to say?

 GS:  Sometime in the early 70s. The whole context of some kind of "rock 
    culture" died along with all the other "pretentions" of the 60s and I 
    think it was that sense of shared community that brought out the best in 
    the writers of the period. At the same time, the most gifted writers 
    tended to move on...the rock press was pretty unrewarding, financially 
    and otherwise. I'm sure Nik Cohn was much happier writing "Saturday Night 
    Fever" than "Rock From the Beginning", though it was rock's loss. In the 
    absence of an entrenched aesthetic system, new writers who came along 
    ended up just being flacks or fanzine jerkoffs. And in some way, I think 
    writing for fanzines deprived writers of the benefit of a wide audience 
    and good editing, factors I'm sure made a difference for me.

 Cosmik:  You were writing for a lot of other publications, including Rolling
    Stone...What kind of writing interested you the most at that time?  You 
    know, what were the cherry assignments, as far as you were concerned?

 GS:  Honestly, I was never much interested in writing as a creative medium. 
    I'm not talented enough. I did it to make money and to keep getting free 
    records and to feel a part of the music community. I mostly wrote $10 
    record reviews, not very many major pieces. My favorite gig was doing an 
    album project because I generally had some input on picking the songs, 
    structuring the thing, designing the packaging, etc. That's why I 
    eventually ended up becoming a record company, I guess, so I keep doing 
    all those parts of it.  The writing alone is simply a chore.
 
 Cosmik:  So it gets back to the music and the record collecting again.  Is
    record collecting something that still motivates you?

 GS:  Oh yeah. Even though most of my records are packed away where I can't 
    get to them, I'm avidly collecting US garage and UK records of the 60s. 
    To me it's like a big jigsaw puzzle, figuring out where all the bands 
    were from, who was on the same labels, the odd names or producers, 
    songwriters, etc that turn up in unusual places, etc. When I meet people 
    who were active in those days I always dream of writing up their story 
    for Goldmine or something, though I rarely have the time. It pissed me 
    off that I was turned down by Discoveries on a series I wanted to do on 
    semi-obscure behind the scenes people, such as Kim Fowley, 
    Gottehrer-Goldstein-Feldman, Jonathan King, etc. I had a whole bunch of 
    articles & discographies worked up. This is the kind of shit I love.
    But I should've done more of it years ago, when I had the energy to be 
    really thorough. I've turned into a lazy old fart I fear.


 Cosmik:  So is US Garage the main genre that you collect, or is it a little 
    of everything?

 GS:  Well as I said I'm trying to complete the garage and psych areas, but I 
    also still semi-avidly collect girl groups, Brill Building, surf, and 
    instrumentals. It's hard for me to collect 50s stuff because there's no 
    way to be sure what I already have. I probably spend $1000 a month on old 
    records but at the same time it's getting really hard to find stuff I 
    don't already have, or when I do, it's insanely expensive and I just 
    won't pay those premium prices. The real fun has always been finding 
    some unknown record at a swap meet, buying it on a hunch and it turns 
    out to be great. Much more fun that paying $500 for something that's on 
    "Back From the Grave".

 Cosmik:  I'm sure your collection is pretty amazing.  Is there anything out
    there that you dream of owning but haven't found yet?  You never know...
    Somebody reading this might have your holy grail.

 GS:  Nice offer, but nothing comes to mind. There are a few odds & ends, but 
    out of tens of thousands of things I'd like to have, it's really not 
    something I lose sleep over. I have something like a million records; 
    many I've never heard and never will. After awhile it's not that exciting.

 Cosmik:  Does your collecting ever rekindle your excitement for making
    records, even briefly?

 GS:  Sure, all the time. I always keep in mind what I, as a collector, would 
    enjoy having. While I don't go for the authentic packaging style of, say, 
    Norton, I try to make the kind of records somebody would enjoy collecting.

 Cosmik:  Let's put aside, for now, the things that were desperately wrong 
    with music in the early to mid 70's.  What did you think was good about 
    music then?

 GS:  Well, somewhat in retrospect, there was actually quite a lot of good 
    stuff in that, and any other period you could name. At the time it's hard 
    to see it, often because the good stuff is obscure and only comes to 
    light when collectors dig it up. In the early 70s you had the beginnings 
    of punk with the Stooges, MC5, NY Dolls, etc, you had some fine pop bands 
    like Blue Ash, the Raspberries, Elliot Murphy, Todd Rundgren, etc etc, 
    and there was a cool scene in England after about 1971, starting with 
    glitter and going on thru pub rock and the early stages of punk. Mott 
    the Hoople was fun. Etc.  There was also a record industry that hadn't 
    become completely mega-corporate yet, there were still guys like Neil 
    Bogart and the fellow who did Bell who released tons of oddball singles, 
    one-off studio projects, etc.  A lot of the most creative studio guys 
    from the 60s were still working thru the mid-70s, not having hits, but 
    getting stuff released anyway. And another great thing about the early 
    70s, it was a wonderful time to start building a record collection. 
    Everything was available for about a nickel, or if you wanted something 
    really cool like a Standells album or a Charlie Feathers 45, you could 
    go up to a quarter...

 Cosmik:  What about the "scene" at that time?  You were somewhere inside it,
    working for record labels and magazines.

 GS:  From my perspective the "scene" was great. There was always some record
    company party where I'd get flown halfway around the world to eat lobster 
    and listen to, say, the Marshall Tucker Band. That was my scene! There 
    were no local music scenes, but there was a network of people everywhere 
    who stayed in touch thru zines like Bomp, resulting in a real sense of an 
    underground community, a unique and precious thing that I don't think has 
    been possible since. It was a bit like the monastic world keeping 
    classical literature alive thru the Dark Ages... rotten times, but many 
    of us were doing cool things in obscurity!
 
 Cosmik:  Do you see the Internet as something that can nurture a whole new 
    underground scene?

 GS:  In a way. It's a new medium that I think has much in common with the 
    "DIY" aesthetic of fanzines. But the potential of hypertext has only 
    begun to be explored and I think that's the real core of it. I can't 
    predict where it'll go, but already online newsgroups, mailing lists 
    etc are way more fun and participatory than any printed medium I know of. 

 Cosmik:  The reasons for the punk revolution are pretty well documented.  
    Were they YOUR reasons for the direction you were taking, too?

 GS:  Only to a small extent. Like Johnny Rotten, I wanted to "destroy" Rod 
    Stewart and Fleetwood Mac and their ilk, but I certainly didn't share the 
    "no future/no past" rhetoric. I liked the spirit of the young bands (I 
    was in my mid-20s and felt like an old man even then) and hoped to see 
    something like the rebellious social movements of the 60s arise from it, 
    but it soon became obvious there wasn't enough behind it to go very far. 

 Cosmik:  Do you think that was because there was nothing like a Viet Nam 
    war to gang up on, or maybe because the punk attitude was too selfish?

 GS:  It's hard to isolate one element of the 60s, like Vietnam. That was a
    particular generation, that had grown up with parents of a certain
    generation, a certain degree of affluence, and other cultural events 
    that were unique to the time. And as I said, the  prevalence of 
    psychedelic drugs in the context of a culture of Kennedyesque optimism 
    was also vital, though not repeatable. The fact that mainstream music 
    was also pretty lame was so far down on the list that I don't think I 
    ever heard anyone complain about it...but by the mid-70s, that was 
    pretty much the crux of the issue. I wouldn't call punk "selfish" but 
    its horizons were certainly narrow. 

 Cosmik:  You got into artist management for a while as well.  You've just 
    about done it all, I think.  Was your experience as manager of The 
    Flaming Groovies a good one?

 GS:  It wasn't something I wanted to do, and I can say categorically it was 
    the worst job I ever had. Sire forced me to come in as manager if they 
    were gonna sign the band. They were of course unmanageable. They did just 
    as they wanted, and I took the blame and ended up paying the bills. 
    Later, I also let myself get talked into managing the Dickies for a year 
    or so; all I really wanted to do was make a record with them, but it 
    seemed the only way to get them out of bed. It was horrible.

 Cosmik:  Did the Groovies gig open a lot of doors for you later on?

 GS:  I don't think so. I met a lot of people while touring with the Groovies, 
    but they were people who knew me already through my writing. Indeed, at 
    times it felt like I was better known than they were (which they didn't 
    much appreciate!)  Occasionally someone sees my name on "Shake Some 
    Action" and gives me some undeserved credit for being involved in the 
    production of it (I wish!) and I guess my efforts were important in 
    getting it done, but nobody will ever know the real story behind all 
    that.

 Cosmik:  So this all leads to Bomp Records.  What was the starting point?

 GS:  It was the Groovies. Cyril [Jordan] visited me when I was working at 
    United Artists, which was their label in England at the time (I was sorta 
    the L.A. counterpart to Andrew Lauder, the guy who signed them). They had 
    been turned down by every label in town, despite having these amazing 
    unreleased songs with Dave Edmunds. Finally he said to me "why don't YOU 
    put it out?" and after objecting that I didn't know shit about making 
    records, I let him talk me into doing it. After that, I was travelling a 
    lot with the band and seeing a lot of scenes emerge around the world, so 
    it was good to have an outlet for the occasional music project. I didn't 
    start taking it seriously as a business until almost 1980. 
    
 Cosmik:  Did you have a lot of help or advice along the way?  Putting out 
    records and promoting them is tricky business, not exactly instinctual, 
    right?

 GS:  I had some help and advice from Seymour Stein, who was my mentor at 
    Sire. But mostly it was just a matter of watching how others did it and 
    trying to copy. I never did any "promotion", it's not something I'm good 
    at, and that is probably the biggest problem I've had in this business. 
    Most people who start labels are their own best promo men. My big desire 
    was just to add more cool records to my collection!

 Cosmik:  Bomp was pretty much the voice of punk in America, early on.  That 
    was probably exciting as hell, but did it ever feel like that was a huge 
    amount of pressure on you?

 GS:  I don't really know if that's true. I was one of the  first people who
    "believed" in punk in America; for 2 or 3 years the industry thought it 
    was a stupid fad that would go away. As a consequence I had the advantage 
    of being welcomed into a lot of scenes where I otherwise didn't belong, 
    and hanging out with some people who might otherwise have preferred to 
    beat me up for my "long hair". It gave me first shot at some great bands. 
    I remember getting calls and demo tapes from a lot of people who became 
    very famous a year or so later. But it was never a matter of "pressure". 
    The pressure I felt was to get some major label financing so I could 
    afford to make records with all these folks. I was constantly on the edge 
    of insolvency, just trying to put out the few singles I did. With a 
    little support, I could've made Bomp into something like what Sire or 
    Stiff became, and it kinda drove me crazy that I wasn't given the chance. 
    But now I'm just as happy it didn't turn out that way.
 
 Cosmik:  Just as happy because you wouldn't want to deal with the industry
    types on that level and join that rat race?

 GS:  Yes. I think once you get involved with them to that extent, you have 
    to adjust your way of doing things to theirs. It's like the old saw about 
    honest people going into politics... you get co-opted. Look at Howie 
    Klein, for instance. He was running 415 records at the same time I was 
    doing Bomp. He got a deal with CBS and I didn't. He's now running Sire 
    (the job I was slated for at one time) and whenever I run into him, he 
    looks haggard, tired, etc. There's nothing exciting, no creative challenge 
    in being a corporate cog, even if you are making $300,000 a year. For me, 
    every new project is an adventure. I don't envy Howie at all, yet in some 
    ways his path shows where mine might have gone. Of course, I admire and 
    respect him. People like Howie have made the industry a far better place 
    than it was 10 years ago. But he is trapped in it, like a fly in amber. 
    I'm still free to buzz around any old pile of shit that comes my way....

 Cosmik:  Were you surprised to find your label was almost alone in the 
    punk field?  There you were, like Noah's Ark with all these amazing 
    bands, floating alone...

 GS:  Well, yes and no. Knowing as I did the major labels, I didn't really 
    expect any of them to get behind it. I steered as many of the bands as 
    I could to Sire, for awhile. But there were also a number of smaller 
    local labels that allowed bands to get their stuff out, so I didn't feel 
    quite so Noahlike.

 Cosmik:  What was the fan support like at the time?

 GS:  Not sure what you mean. 
 
 Cosmik: Well, at that point in time, was there a healthy domestic scene 
    full of fans that went out and supported the bands?

 GS:  There were fans for English groups who came to town, but for a long 
    time only a couple hundred people cared to support local bands, at least 
    here and in many other cities I visited. In part this was due to the fact 
    that the radio never played any of it. But once things started to gain 
    momentum, say by the end of '77, the whole thing got pretty big. 
    
 Cosmik:  Were you making a dent in England, or Europe in general, as well?

 GS:  Not me personally; Bomp didn't have any bands that anyone particularly 
    cared about, except Iggy and the Iggy stuff was licensed out (or, more 
    properly, stolen) for release in other countries. American punk in 
    general was slow to catch on overseas, except for a few of the New York 
    bands who did very well in England right from the start.

 Cosmik:  When was the breakthrough, then?  WAS there ever a breakthrough?

 GS:  My recollection is that the "breakthrough" for punk came after punk had
    stopped being violent and started sounding more like disco. When was 
    that, 1980-82? At the same time, the really poppy bands like the Go Gos 
    and The Knack had hits, then everybody got signed. Personally, I don't 
    think anything really challenging ever "broke through" the media filter 
    to the point where it could be heard without some effort. This is still 
    true today (unless you think Green Day is revolutionary...)

 Cosmik:  Did the magazine and the label co-exist well?  
 
 GS:  Yes, from 1974 into early '79. At that point it became financially 
    impossible to do both. 
 
 Cosmik:  At that time, as you've said before, you could have had just about 
    anyone you wanted on Bomp.  Who were the bands you took a pass on that you 
    wish you had snagged?

 GS:  More than I can remember! For starters, Blondie, the Go Gos, the 
    Pretenders, Devo, the Dickies, X, and Dream Syndicate.

 Cosmik:  The Bomp roster was amazing, though.  Can you narrow down all that
    talent to the one or two most important Bomp acts ever?

 GS:  Important to whom? Everyone seems to have different faves. I guess one 
    would have to say Iggy and the Stooges, though they were never really "on 
    the roster". For me, it would have to be the Plimsouls and Spacemen 3. 
    
 Cosmik:  Is it true that you even had an early Devo record?  They seem so 
    un-Bomp. Not to put them down, they're great, but I mean most Bomp bands 
    seem to either have beauty or power or both, and Devo doesn't really fit 
    either description.

 GS: Maybe not, but on the basis of originality and conceptual sophistication, 
    I found them impressive. And their early stuff was quite raw after all. 
    This was one of those cases where Bomp was "the only game in town". They 
    needed to get a record out and nobody else was interested. I probably 
    should've insisted on having it on a Bomp label but ended up letting them 
    put their Boojie Boy label on it. But we pressed and distributed it, and 
    it had a really lovely (now super rare) picture sleeve.

 Cosmik:  You once said that punk music had "built-in obsolescence."  What 
    exactly did you mean by that?

 GS:  I don't remember saying it, but perhaps I meant that any style built on 
    a specific attitude was bound to go out of fashion because these things 
    change all the time. Whether punk has gone out of style is debatable; 
    punk in the 80s, which I always preferred to call "hardcore" was, to me, 
    a completely different music from, say, the Ramones or the Damned.

 Cosmik:  Of the bands that are out there today, who would you say is the 
    best example of powerpop?

 GS:  I haven't heard enough to say, but a lot of what I've heard is very 
    good. It has to do with a delicate balance between energy and melody.

 Cosmik:  When the powerpop era started, and you had bands like The Plimsouls 
    on your label, how were Bomp's original fans responding? 
    
 GS:  One of the advantages of having a label as well as a magazine is that 
    you can use the zine to explain to people why they should like the 
    records. But for us, there was never any inconsistency. Bomp wasn't 
    really a "punk" label. People who liked Iggy liked the other stuff too. 
    Now, if I'd ended up signing Black Flag, it might have been a different 
    story... (they were actually signed to Bomp under their previous name, 
    Panic, but we never released anything).

 Cosmik:  You put out "A Million Miles Away," by The Plimsouls, which is 
    considered by a LOT of people to be one of greatest singles any indie 
    label ever put out, and it didn't put them over the top.  Did that shock 
    you, or at least mystify you somewhat?

 GS:  No, because I believe that if it had stayed on Bomp, we would have had 
    a big hit with it. It was already on virtually every station in the 
    country when the band's manager decided to go with Geffen. Instead of 
    re-releasing and promoting it immediately, they let it die and didn't 
    release anything at all until the album was done a year or so later. But 
    yes, at the time I thought everyone involved must've lost their minds.

 Cosmik:  Did it shake your confidence in the power of the indie label in 
    general?  Did it make you think "What the hell does it take?"

 GS:  No, in fact it confirmed my belief that an indie label never stood a 
    chance. The only way that song got on the radio was because we put every 
    penny back into promotion. We may have sold 100,000 copies of the single, 
    but we also spent $100,000 on promo. And that was only the beginning. It 
    might have taken half a million to push that record into the charts. 
    That's why you needed major labels. But it sure shook my confidence in 
    the major labels as knowing what the hell they were doing.

 Cosmik:  In the liner notes to the Destination Bomp 20th Anniversary CD, 
    you mentioned that Geffen signed the Plimsouls and basically let them  
    die of neglect.  You also mentioned that you wouldn't trade your world 
    for David Geffen's.  Little hints of animosity.  Is that based on what
    they did with The Plimsouls, or does it go deeper?

 GS:  No. While he is no doubt a major jerk, I've never had any contact with 
    Geffen and no specific gripe against him. That comment goes equally for 
    anybody in that business; they're all a bunch of lying weasels whose 
    lives are devoted to power politics, bullshit, lust for money, etc. Their 
    days consist of endless meetings with other weasels in suits... this is 
    no way to live, in my book. I much prefer my life, even if I don't have 
    billions in the bank. I guess I make the comparison because there have 
    been several times when I was offered such a life, and I'm so glad I 
    didn't take it.

 Cosmik:  Looking through the list of bands you've worked with and realizing 
    how many of them were basically stolen from you by major labels, I wonder  
    how you were able to keep your heart in it the way you did.

 GS:  Well not many were actually "stolen". If I'd had contracts and the 
    labels used their legal muscle to break them, that would be different. 
    But mostly I had the bands for one record and then they got a better 
    offer. I thought one of these labels should have invested a fraction of 
    the money in Bomp that they'd later spend to sign just one of the bands. 
    For instance, if I'd had $100,000 development money in 1977 I could've 
    delivered maybe 10 bands capable of having hits. Instead, they all waited 
    a year or two and paid millions for each of those bands. This bugged me, 
    but it also reaffirmed my sense that you have to be self-sufficient in 
    this life, nobody's ever gonna lift a finger to help you. It was a lesson 
    I needed to learn.

 Cosmik:  While we're still talking about the not-so-happy stuff, let me ask 
    you what happened with The Romantics...

 GS:  When I met the Romantics they'd done one single on their own label. I 
    thought they were great and offered to put them in the studio. I paid an 
    experienced producer to come to Detroit, paid for a good studio there, 
    flew in myself to supervise the session, put out and promoted the single, 
    and was pleased when it helped get them signed to Nemperor. I wasn't 
    quite so pleased a year or so later when they sent lawyers to threaten 
    years worth of litigation I couldn't afford unless I gave back the 
    masters. Since I had hung out, partied and been pals with these guys, I 
    thought it was kinda shitty, and probably the reason they never had 
    another hit.

 Cosmik:  Have you had any contact with them since, or heard their side of
    the story?  

 GS:  No. In many cases, Bomp bands who went to major labels came back to me 
    later and thanked me for being the only guy who was ever straight with 
    them. I've also been accused of being the only label that ever pays 
    royalties. I do pay regularly the bands whose records sell (DMZ, 
    Barracudas, Miracle Workers, a few others) but unfortunately most of 
    them don't. As for the Romantics, I don't think they even knew what had 
    been done, I'm pretty sure it was their managers. Fuck you, Arnie Tensor, 
    wherever you are!

 Cosmik:  Let's talk about the fun stuff now.  You've done some amazing 
    promotional stunts.  What's the farthest you've ever gone to promote a 
    record?  I've heard real quick summaries of the story about Josie 
    Cotton's "Johnny Are You Queer" record.  What's your version of that one?
    
 GS:  While I think we did more promotion for the Plimsouls, this was a case 
    of really creative promo. The record being somewhat controversial, we 
    decided to fan the flames so as to create even more interest in it. A 
    guy who worked for me belonged to some Christian group, so he went to 
    them and spread the story that this record was encouraging faggotry among 
    young Americans, and the bible bozos duly turned out to picket KROQ where 
    it was being played. This made the national news (20/20?) and as a result 
    it started getting played all over the country. We also had a gay promo 
    guy (he called himself a "promosexual") working the record in the dance 
    clubs. We did everything possible to work every angle. We believed this 
    song could become the "Monster Mash" of the 80s. Unfortunately, it was 
    taken away from us by Elektra just as things were getting interesting...

 Cosmik:  So is that the farthest you've ever gone?  Or would be willing to 
    go?  Does pulling a caper like that help keep the fun in the business for 
    you?

 GS:  Well I don't think that was going so far. I'm a prankster at heart 
    and I don't think there's anything I'd stop short of, unless it involved 
    hurting someone. As you say, such capers are fun. They used to be quite 
    normal in the record business, before it got taken over by lawyers and 
    accountants. 

 Cosmik:  Around this time, indie labels were being snapped up by the major 
    labels, and let's face it, Bomp was a hot property and plenty of majors 
    were trying to get a piece of you.  What happened?  Didn't you want to 
    go that route?

 GS:  It's not like I didn't try. We actually had deals with 6 or 7 majors at
    various times, including Motown! None of them ever panned out however. 
    Some never got signed, others got signed but new guys came in (like Bob 
    Krasnow replacing Joe Smith at Elektra) and decided not to honor the 
    deals made by their predecessors. My deal at Polygram was made by the 
    president of the whole German conglomerate, but by the time it trickled 
    down to their local office, the A&R guys were offended at the idea that 
    an outside label could make better signings than them, and since the deal 
    called for them to approve whatever I submitted, nothing ever got picked 
    up. Etc, etc, etc. 
    
 Cosmik:  When and why did you decide to start Voxx Records?

 GS:  I guess it was about 1980-81. After the Plimsouls and Josie Cotton 
    projects Bomp had gained this image of being a ready stepping-stone to 
    the majors, so we were inundated with cynical "new wave" hustlers looking 
    for deals. After awhile I got real sick of it, and started looking for 
    better excuses to get these jokers off the phone. My favorite became some 
    variation on "sorry, we're only signing psychedelic merseybeat combos 
    these days" and after awhile, it became more than an excuse. When I heard 
    the tape of the Crawdaddys' first album, it became a plan that started to 
    make a lot of sense. We'd make records for people who loved a pure rootsy 
    sound, with low budgets and no promo, and say goodbye to all that industry
    bullshit. And it worked out pretty well.

 Cosmik:  Did you feel like you were making records you'd want to collect
    again?

 GS:  Not specifically. As always, I tried to make them from a purist 
    mentality and of course the main criterion was always "does this turn 
    me on?" so it's sort of a self-defining process.

 Cosmik:  The garage scene was exciting if you knew about it, but at the 
    time you were starting Voxx, many people didn't.  And the instro surf 
    thing had been dead forever.  How big a promotional challenge was it 
    to get people listening?  Or did you let that take care of itself?

 GS:  We never did much promo. Our instro surf band was Jon and the 
    Nightriders and it just happened they were the favorite opening band 
    for all kinds of groups, so they got a lot of exposure. When the first 
    "Battle of the Garages" album came out, we helped the bands organize a 
    sort of package tour around the east coast. This is about the most we 
    ever did to promote the stuff. By 1983-4 there were local garage scenes 
    everywhere. 
    
 Cosmik:  What are the main differences between what was "garage" then and 
    what is "garage" now?

 GS:  Unfortunately I have no idea what the scene is like now, though I'd 
    imagine it's pretty similar.

 Cosmik:  Do you think there's anyone out there today that can hold a candle 
    to The Tell-Tale Hearts or Gravedigger Five and the best from that era?

 GS:  Probably not. The modern garage I've heard is far more derivative, and
    shorter on genuine personality, at least to my ears. 

 Cosmik:  Your "Battle Of The Garages" comp CDs do a great job of documenting 
    that 80's period.  Is that the last word now, or will there be more from 
    the vaults?

 GS:  There is no more in the vaults. There will be no new garage comps.

 Cosmik:  What's going on with psychedelic music these days?  I'm not finding
    anything I'd call an active "scene."

 GS:  Hmmm, I don't know what kind of scene there ever was, since the late 
    60s.  Everyone has a different definition of "psychedelic" tho. Perhaps 
    you'd like some of the many Grateful Dead tribute bands out there? (No, 
    I didn't think so.) As usual, the nearest thing to a scene is probably in 
    England; at least, a lot of interesting sounds keep coming from there. 
    But I think the same people go to see whatever band is playing in a given 
    week. That's not really a "scene". I suspect a lot of the folks who'd 
    otherwise make up such a scene have become "ravers" instead, which 
    although musically limited, is at least an alternative cultural scene 
    with its own customs and costumes. As these kids develop more of a taste 
    for live music, maybe it will come together.

 Cosmik:  All these years later, instrumental surf music is all the rage 
    again, bands like Mermen are getting signed by the majors, TV commercials 
    are using surf music, Jon and the Nightriders are in the studio for the 
    first time in over a decade...Even Tin Machine did a surf song.  Are you 
    surprised by all this?

 GS:  Totally! I have no idea how long it will last, but probably not more 
    than a year or so at this level. But then we'll have a healthy crop of 
    local bands keeping it alive for another decade or so. Best part of it 
    for me is all the reissues that have been sparked by it.

 Cosmik:  Yeah, like what Sundazed Records has done with all the old instro
    bands?  

 GS:  Yeah but not just Sundazed. Look at the revival of Del-Fi for gods 
    sake. Jim Pewter has done a couple of good comps. Some unknown bootlegger 
    has put out great comps of Gary Usher, Surf Girls, etc. Everywhere you 
    look there's cool stuff.

 Cosmik:  What direction is Bomp going in right now?  

 GS:  Bomp isn't particularly busy these days. Mostly we're reissuing old 
    stuff, repackaging the Pebbles series, etc. There is one new band on 
    Bomp, the Brian Jonestown Massacre, that I've been working with for a 
    couple years. I think they could do great things and I'll be doing 
    another record or two with them I hope. I'll probably release some more 
    English stuff too, in the Spacemen 3 vein. I'd like to do more 
    contemporary space/drone music, if I could find more that I liked. (The 
    best stuff seems to already be out on Kranky!) The Voxx label will be 
    coming back soon with a new album by the Laughing Sky (Dino Sorbello's 
    post-Blacklight Chameleons band) but that's a rare exception. I consider 
    the '60s revival pretty much dead, creatively. I'm hoping some new trend 
    will come along that I'll feel like getting behind.

 Cosmik:  Do you still actively seek out new artists?

 GS:  Not as much. They have to seek me out. I'm too tired to go out looking.
 
 Cosmik:  If someone asked you to put one Bomp or Voxx record in a time 
    capsule, and you knew that future generations were going to learn about 
    your label from that one example, which one would you choose?

 GS:  I wouldn't do it. In the future, nobody will be able to find a 
    turntable (or, probably, a CD player) anyway. Besides, what did 
    posterity ever do for me?

 Cosmik:  We always ask label owners if they can imagine themselves doing 
    this in twenty years.  You actually are doing it twenty years later.  
    Is the drive still strong?  Can you handle another twenty years in this 
    business?

 GS:  There is no drive and I can barely do it now. But, if I liked 
    something, I suspect it would give me a kick to come back and do it 
    again, even after 20 years. Sometimes I have trouble maintaining my 
    interest even for the rest of the day. But you never know what's around 
    the corner... 

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

 THE WIVES IN 95 
 An interview with Sue Horwitz. 
 (By DJ Johnson)
 

      1995 was a hell of a year for Sue Horwitz, Mary Dunham and Tracy
 Almazan of The Wives.  After making a name for themselves in New York City,
 the band moved up to the national scene with a fantastic 7 inch, inclusion on 
 a pair of compilation CD's, and finally a CD of their own, "Ask Me How," on 
 Go Kart. Filled with thoughtful, sometimes dark lyrics accentuated by a 
 powerful sound and great hooks, "Ask Me How" is one of the year's best 
 albums.  
      Singer/guitarist Sue Horwitz talked with Cosmik Debris while still 
 catching her breath after returning from The Wives first tour.  As 1995 
 winds down, there is a lot to talk about.

               *    *    *    *    *    *    *    *    *

 Cosmik:  You used to be a folk singer?  Is that true? 

 Sue:  My deep secret has been revealed!  Yeah, it's true, I was a teenage 
    folkie, strumming along at coffeehouses and open mike nights.  I wrote 
    a couple of really sappy songs that I luckily can't remember.

 Cosmik: Who were you into listening to at that point?

 Sue:  The obvious.  Joni Mitchell, Bonnie Raitt, CSNY.  I went through a 
    pretty big southern rock phase around then too -- I saw the Outlaws a 
    bunch of times during high school.  I never really liked Lynyrd Skynyrd 
    though.  I was listening to punk then too, even though you never would've 
    guessed it.

 Cosmik: And then...what...you slipped into the punk side due to the 
    unbearable amount of peer pressure?

 Sue:  I was too old for peer pressure by the time I started playing the 
    hard stuff!

 Cosmik: It's hard to imagine you as a folkie, though.  I listen to 
    "Grinding" and it's such a powerful kick in the snout.  Did you always 
    have the punk sound in the back of your mind?

 Sue:  I always listened to all kinds of music, and when the whole punk 
    thing happened, I always thought, hmmm...I could do THAT too!  I got 
    tired of the folk stuff for a bunch of reasons, but I think the main 
    one was that it was too SENSITIVE. I started feeling really uncomfortable 
    standing up in front of people and being all earnest.   So I laid low 
    for awhile, then, after I actually started writing hard, fast songs, I 
    realized that that was the way for me to go.
  
 Cosmik:  But your songs with The Wives can be very "sensitive."  Sure, the
    music sounds like thunder, but you're singing about sensitive subjects.

 Sue:  That's true, but having a gazillion decibels behind the words gives 
    them a totally different effect.  Not to sound too cliched, but it's not 
    as naked.

 Cosmik: How did The Wives get together?

 Sue:  Mary and I met through mutual friends, went to some shows together, 
    and became fast buddies.  She had been in a few bands in Connecticut and 
    here in New York, and she had this idea in her head that I had also been 
    playing in bands for awhile.  Little did she know that I hadn't ever 
    written anything worth making public, that the only band I had been in 
    before was a country outfit, and that I had only touched my cheapo 
    electric guitar a couple of times!  I wrote some songs, we found a 
    drummer, and we started playing out pretty quickly.  After about six 
    months, Mary and I realized that we wanted to play fast, hooky punk 
    stuff, but the drummer we had then wasn't really into it.  So we parted 
    ways. Mary and I had a brief stint with a wacked-out, smelly, dreadlocked 
    pothead who liked to piss in the kitchen sink.  He was a phenomenal 
    drummer, but what a freak!  We quickly realized that it wouldn't last, 
    so we put an ad in a local paper and Tracy answered it.  She came to a 
    gig to check us out, but freakboy didn't show up.  We gave Tracy a really 
    crappy tape of me and Mary playing all of our songs, and she actually 
    liked it!  That was 3 years ago, and we've been together ever since.

 Cosmik:  When you put the ad in the paper, were you looking specifically
     for a female drummer?  

 Sue:  Nope.  In fact, we deliberately didn't include in the ad that we were 
    women.  Oddly enough, Tracy told us that she probably wouldn't have 
    answered an ad for a "girl band."  We weren't trying to be an all-female 
    group, but it turned out that way.
  
 Cosmik: I haven't heard The Wives live, but I don't hear any obvious 
    overdubs in your recordings, so I assume you play it pretty straight.

 Sue:  When we recorded the CD and the Vital 7 inch, which we did at the same 
    time, we played all the basic tracks live.  No patching allowed!  I 
    refuse to record multiple guitar tracks, because I want an authentic live 
    sound, but to beef things up, I  recorded on three tracks at the same 
    time.  Our producer, Dean Rispler, has a really cool guitar setup. Three 
    mikes, one head, and two cabinets, one 4 x 12 and one 2 x 15 bass cab.   
    We kept mostly first takes, and some seconds.  Guitar leads and vocals 
    were all done separately.  In the past, we had recorded on ADAT, which 
    is great if you're a perfectionist.  Personally, I hated it.  It sounded 
    way too sterile, and I always felt like we could never live up to that 
    level of precision live.  I hate cheating.
  
 Cosmik:  What do you do when you play live to reproduce that guitar sound?

 Sue:  I just play really loud, with alot of overdrive.  I don't do much 
    single-string stuff, and power chords make a ton of noise.

 Cosmik:  Do you ever feel limited by the power-trio thing, or does it 
    challenge you?

 Sue:  I never feel "limited" by it.  In fact, we once had a friend come 
    along to a practice to play second guitar, and we all quickly realized 
    that there was no room for it!  But there are times when I'd like to be 
    able to concentrate on one thing a little more -- either singing or 
    playing -- and I guess another player would let me do it.  At the same 
    time, though, there are some things that we do that would be much harder 
    with another instrument, like really, really short stops and really, 
    really fast songs. 

 Cosmik:  Plus, there's a distinct feel trios get that a 4-piece can't 
    touch, a whole different kind of power.

 Sue:  I can't really compare the two since I've never played in a two-guitar 
    band.  But maybe there's a tightness that you just can't get with any 
    more than the bare minimum instrumentation.

 Cosmik: What would you say the Wives main strengths are?

 Sue:  Our songwriting and our tightness.  I get bored real easily, so I try 
    very hard to write varied, interesting songs that have more going on than 
    the three-chord punk anthem thing.  Not that I don't love that stuff, but 
    I love other stuff too, like darker, slower, moshy tunes and quirky 
    off-time shit, like "Grinding." [Ed. Note: "Grinding" was The Wives first  
    single.)  We play with dynamics a lot, which is pretty easy to do with a 
    trio, so  we're not just bashing out one hardcore thrasher after another.  
    Live, we're really tight, which comes from playing and playing and 
    playing.  We've gotten to the point where it's intuitive.  We don't have 
    to look at each other to know what's going on at any given moment during 
    a set.  This quality has made us the undisputed Queens of Recovery when 
    confronted with the occasional mid-set meltdown!

 Cosmik:  That feeling when the three of you are playing and it feels like
    one mind...can you compare that to anything else in life?

 Sue:  Is this the sex question?  That's the obvious answer, of course!  

 Cosmik: Sounds about right.  How would you describe your music and your 
    sound?
 
 Sue:  You tell me!  I guess melodic punk is what I usually tell people.

 Cosmik: Verging on hardcore, from time to time, maybe.  Your first record 
    was a 7 incher on Redd Records that had three tracks, but the two on the 
    b-side segue like they were written together.  Really cool songs, too, 
    by the way.  Did you write them to be recorded together?

 Sue:  No, but we always played the first song, "Back," into something fast 
    and catchy live.

 Cosmik: What kind of response did that record get?

 Sue:  It got great reviews everywhere except Maximum Rock and Roll, who 
    wrote some unintelligible nonsense that had nothing to do with the 
    record.  

 Cosmik:  Do negative reviews get you down?

 Sue:  Fuck 'em.  I guess if we got a terrible review in a publication or 
    from a writer that I really, really respected, then I'd be disappointed.  
    Or, if we got nothing but shitty reviews on a record, I'd be pretty 
    bummed out.  But you have to expect to not be able to please everybody, 
    and I actually feel incredibly lucky that we've gotten so many good 
    reviews.  Hopefully the luck will continue with the CD.

 Cosmik: Was the 7 incher on Vital Records your second release?

 Sue:  Yeah, and it's selling really well.  Must be that limited-edition 
    white vinyl.

 Cosmik: Tom Cassar [Vital Music Records owner] can't be as cool as he seems.
    
 Sue:  He is!  I swear!

 Cosmik:  Got any good dirt on him?

 Sue:  I swear to God, there isn't any!  He's the best!
 
 Cosmik:  That was where I caught on to your band.  "Paper Trail" is a great 
    song.  What IS it about, though?  It's kinda surreal and vague.

 Sue:  It's funny that you say that, 'cause I think Paper Trail's one of the 
    more obvious songs I've written!  It's one of them songs about some idiot 
    or another blowing me off, and about me just not getting it.

 Cosmik: Are most of your lyrics about real experiences you've had?

 Sue:  Some of them.  A good number of them are totally fabricated stories, 
    though.  One of them from the CD, Rosa, is about an agoraphobic girl.  
    I have NO IDEA where it came from.  Suddenly I thought, hey, how 'bout a 
    song about someone who won't leave the house?

 Cosmik:  Kind of an optimistic agoraphoic song, though, unless I'm hearing 
    it wrong.  Sounds like she's just at the point of trying to kick it?
    "Done waiting - Rosa?"

 Sue:  Yeah, that's right. Even though she's terrified, she's walking outside.

 Cosmik: Pardon me for harping on your lyrics, but I think a lot of bands are 
    putting less and less emphasis on that, and here comes The Wives with
    a bunch of songs that make you want to dig and decipher and understand.  
    How do you feel about lyrics in general?  How do you approach writing
    them?

 Sue:  No problem.  There aren't a lot of people who ask about lyrics, to be 
    honest with you.  I used to write lyrics first, then figure out melodies.  
    After awhile, though, I switched.  Now, I come up with some kind of chord 
    progression, then play it and play it and play it, either alone or with 
    the band, and see what pops into my head lyrically.  I like writing this 
    way because it makes the lyrics very rhythmic.  As for content, more and 
    more I like the idea of story telling, like in Rosa.  Pick a character, 
    describe her, and off we go.   But, if I really want to "say something," 
    I don't want to be that obvious about it, so I'll write a little more 
    obscurely.  Vague and metaphorical is good, as long as the words 
    themselves have a good rhythm and sound cool together.

 Cosmik:  Do you think a lot of people pay attention to what you're saying, 
    from what you see at your shows? 

 Cosmik:  I doubt it, since people always complain that they can't hear the 
    vocals.  But then again, sometimes people actually sing along, so maybe 
    they ARE listening!

 Cosmik:  You said earlier, before we started, that you kind of like it when 
    people can't figure out what your songs are about. 

 Sue:  Like I said about the folk stuff, I don't want to be that obvious if 
    I'm talking about something personal.   Plus, to me, lyrics should be 
    like poetry -- give the reader or listener some clues, but let him come 
    up with his own interpretation of what's really going on.  You should 
    hear some of the crazy shit people come up with, including my own 
    bandmates, to explain lyrics sometimes. 
 
 Cosmik:  Do you usually just say "Oh yeah, very astute!" and let them be
    happy?
 
 Sue:  "Whatever you say!"  If they wanna know if they're right, though, I 
    tell 'em the truth.

 Cosmik: How did the Go Kart deal happen?   

 Sue:  We sent them a package of stuff and started bugging them!  Chloe was 
    instrumental in convincing Greg that we were worth signing.  
    
 Cosmik:  Who's Chloe?   
 
 Sue: She's the second-in-command over there ...She had seen us a few times, 
    and we got to be friendly with her while we were sending stuff around.  
    We really wanted to work with Go Kart because they've put out some great 
    stuff -- Lunachicks, Black Velvet Flag, Buttsteak -- plus they're local 
    and still small enough that we get plenty of attention.
    
 Cosmik:  How does having a full length CD released change things for The 
    Wives?  Besides generating some income, that is.

 Sue:  Income schmincome!  Having a CD makes it much easier to book shows 
    in out-of-town clubs.  You get some level of respect that even the best 
    demo tape or even 7 inch won't bring.  Whether this is legitimate or not, 
    I can't say.  There are plenty of great bands around with no CD releases.
 
 Cosmik:  Who are some of the better ones?

 Sue:  Well, until a couple of months ago, I would've said Simon and the Bar 
    Sinisters, but as you know, they finally have a CD out.  Actually, most 
    of the bands that we've played with through the years have put out CDs 
    in the last few months.

 Cosmik: So now, besides having a full length CD in national distribution 
    and a 7 incher on Vital, you're on a pretty cool compilation CD called
    "Picklemania NYC," [Riot Records - See review in this issue] with bands 
    like Sea Monkeys, Iron Prostate and Hot Corn Girls.  That's a CD of indie 
    stuff that I've seen in several non-indie type music stores.  Has it 
    had any visible effect so far?  Like bigger crowds, more sales of the
    Go Kart disc, stuff like that?

 Sue:  People mention the Picklemania thing quite a bit, but I don't know if 
    it's really gotten around enough to have too much of an effect on us.  
    We've put "Mempho" back in our set though, after a long hiatus.  You know 
    that Tom from Vital is in the Sea Monkeys, right?

 Cosmik:  Oh yeah!  I loved Sea Monkeys' version of "I Can See Clearly" on 
    that CD.    
 
 Sue:  We're also on another compilation that came out in '95 called "Step on 
    a Crack, Volume II."  It was put out by Go Kart and Sound Views, which is 
    a fanzine out of Brooklyn that you MUST get hold of if you haven't 
    already.  It's got tons of NY bands on it, some of the same ones as on 
    Picklemania, and some others too.

 Cosmik: 1995 has been a big year for you. 

 Sue:  Yeah, I'd say so.  Tough one to beat, considering the number of 
    releases we had!  Yikes!  
 
 Cosmik:  There may be something to that, you know?  How DO you top 1995? 
    What would it take?

 Sue:  If you have any suggestions, let me know.  At the risk of sounding, 
    well, like the stinking capitalist that I am, MORE MONEY would help.
 
 Cosmik: What kind of crowds do you draw, generally speaking?

 Sue:  Pretty mixed.  We seem to draw a lot of post-college, been-listening-
    to-punk-since-day-one types, along with the obligatory handful of young 
    crusty kids.  The gender ratio is usually pretty even, which is great.

 Cosmik:  Had you expected more of a female following?

 Sue:  I didn't expect anything at the beginning, although we actually had a 
    nice little riot grrl crowd going on about two years ago.  We did a 
    couple of shows for them, and they definitely helped us along.  They seem 
    to have disappeared around here, at least as an organized, identifiable 
    thing.  
 
 Cosmik: Do you think there's still a macho attitude in the punk scene that 
    might cause the crowd to see you as a novelty?  The "Oh, look!  Chicks!" 
    crap?

 Sue:  We've been pretty lucky with this.  As we've gotten better known, the 
    macho shit has pretty much disappeared.  At the same time, though, I know 
    that if we're playing somewhere new, outside of New York City, there's 
    bound to be assholes in the crowd who will assume that we're gonna suck.  
    
 Cosmik: How do you handle that when you know you kick ass with the best of 
    the male bands?
 
 Sue:  I relish it, because I know that they're gonna be blown away as soon 
    as they hear us. It's the greatest fuck-you ever!

 Cosmik: Do you ever get that attitude from the bands?  

 Sue:  Not so much from punk bands.  They're usually either really cool and 
    friendly, or just indifferent, which is fine too.  Other kinds of bands 
    though... I gotta tell you this story.  About a year and a half ago, we 
    played on a bill in Boston with three other bands from New York.  The 
    promoter thought it would be cool to have a "New York Night" -- like 
    anybody in Boston gives a fuck -- so he booked us all together, even 
    though the other bands were boy glam rockers, feather boas and all!  We 
    all decided to rent a bus to get up there, and the whole way up, the boys 
    and their girlfriends listened to bubblegum pop and primped.  They spent 
    more time on their hair and makeup than any woman I know.  I'm sure they 
    thought we were freaks, since we were, like, reading books for five hours 
    on the way up and just generally spending time by ourselves.  So we got 
    up there, and a couple of them immediately tried to con the soundman into 
    making us play first, which was not the deal that we had with the club.  
    Luckily, Mary walked into the conversation at just the right time and got 
    it all straight.  They weren't too pleased.  So they continued to ignore 
    us, and we set up for soundcheck.  As soon as we started playing, it was 
    like a naked woman had walked by -- all of their heads swiveled, in 
    unison, toward the stage.  I swear, I saw it with my own eyes!  Needless 
    to say, we didn't have to do much equipment lifting at the end of the 
    night! 
  
 Cosmik:  From arrogant snots to drooling fans and instant roadies in one
     easy lesson.  There's a certain sense of justice in that.  The bands 
     that do maintain the attitude, though, do you think it might be that 
     they resent you for sounding more powerful than they do and being a 
     better band than they are?

 Sue:  Some of them undoubtedly do, which I can understand.  More often, 
    though, most band guys seem to get pretty sheepish after they've given us 
    attitude and then realized that we've kicked far more talented asses than 
    theirs!  Not to sound too 70's, man, but maybe we've enlightened a few 
    neanderthals along the way.

 Cosmik: Which bands have HELPED The Wives along?
        
 Sue:  Iron Prostate, Sexpod, Wighat, Ff.  The Voluptuous Horror of Karen 
    Black gave us some really great shows in the last year.  Dean, our 
    producer, is their bass player.

 Cosmik:  I was trying to figure out from the pictures on your records...what 
    kind of guitar do you use?  Gibson what?

 Sue:  Les Paul Junior.  One pickup, two knobs.  Very easy to manage.  I also 
    have a Melody Maker that I stuck a P-90 pickup in, so it's like a 
    mini-Junior.  They look exactly the same -- cherry red double cutaways.  
    The Junior's about twice as thick, though, and you can really hear the 
    difference that all that wood makes.
 
 Cosmik:  Did you use the Melody Maker on any of the songs on the CD?

 Sue:  No, just the Junior.  It's really just a backup for when I break a 
    string live.

 Q; What do you use for amps?

 Sue:  I had a Marshall JCM 800 for awhile, but it sounded tinny.  I fell in 
    love with Hiwatts after we recorded, so I hunted one down.  It's a newish 
    model.  Although it has two channels, I never use the clean one.  I like 
    the Sovtek 60 watts and hope to pick one up if I ever get any extra cash.

 Cosmik:  Do you just go for a little overdrive, or do you run any effects?

 Sue:  I use tremolo on a couple of songs, usually just a little bit during 
    quiet spots.  On one song, though -- Fish, from the CD -- I max it out 
    and set it to square wave for a lead.  It sounds really strange, and 
    although I don't usually like overdoing the effects, it works out really 
    well for that one spot.  I just bought a micro amp to boost my volume for 
    leads.  I tried a few different overdrive pedals, but they usually just 
    cut my signal instead of boosting it.

 Cosmik:  Don't mind me, I always ask those questions.  It seems like half of 
    Cosmik Debris' readers are musicians.  Hey, I hear Blackie, from Simon 
    & The Bar Sinisters, is your amp guy.  

 Sue:  King of Tubes! Check out his web site at 
     http://www.users.interport.net/~blackie.  I love talking shop, but my 
     knowledge is pretty limited.  I have no interest in any guitars that 
     ain't Gibsons, and any amps that ain't got no tubes running 'em.  Guess 
     I'm just picky.
 
 Cosmik:  You just did your first tour.  A short one, but a "get your feet 
     wet" experience.  How did it go?

 Sue:  We had some really amazing shows and some really lame ones.  We played 
    with 7Seconds in Austin, which was bliss.  They are undoubtedly the nicest 
    guys in hardcore, and they still crank after all these years!  We had 
    another great show with Tanner in Atlanta, and an out of control, insane 
    night in Madison, Wisconsin with Teengenerate and the New Bomb Turks.  
    It was a punk rock extravanganza! 
 
 Cosmik:  Has it been kind of fun for you, as a fan, to be hanging out with
    some of these guys?

 Sue:  Oh sure.  I always like playing shows with bigger touring bands.
 
 Cosmik:  Right now, you've got your first full length CD out [on Go Kart 
    Records] and you've got the first tour under your belt... What's the next 
    step?  Are you looking at an extended tour?

 Sue:  Maybe in the late spring.  For the time being, we're going to try to 
    cover the east coast during as many weekends as we can manage it.  We'll 
    be writing some new songs over the winter, and maybe we'll get back into 
    the studio before too long.
 
 Cosmik:  What's the highest aspiration you have for The Wives? 

 Sue:  In real life or fantasy land?  In reality, I'd like to pretty much 
    keep on doing what we've been doing -- write, play and record cool, 
    interesting, fun rock and roll.  In fantasy land, I'd like to sell 2 
    million records and retire young.  Only time will tell.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

 MAN OR ASTRO-MAN? - THE EUROPEAN TOUR DIARY
 By Birdstuff
 (With intro by DJ Johnson)


      Attention all Astrofans!  The hardest working band of space aliens
 (as opposed to the kind of aliens Pete Wilson worries about) in the the
 universe are on the road once again.  They only landed long enough to
 record yet another album, then they were off to concertville.  This is
 a diary of the events that took place during the European tour earlier in
 the year.  Next month, we'll have the US tour diary for you.  Enjoy.
 


                      *    *    *    *    *


 Tuesday, June 27
 Venue:  Paradiso
 City:  Amsterdam, Netherlands
 
  In traditional Astro-style, we arrived to play on the same exact day of
 entry into this foreign land.  In traditional Birdstuff Fashion, I spent the
 entire previous night doing the normal, useless, obsessed things like ironing
 the money I was taking and covering my drum cases with stickers.  Customs was
 as simple as CoCo's mind.  We all had stuffed "Destroy's" and "Is It's" in
 all our bags and were kind of worried.  I guess that hypno-beam still works.
  The show was probably a 4.89 out of 10.  The venue was way too large (we had
 350 people in it, and it looked only a fourth full), plus we still felt like
 naked Roswell aliens without our fourth bretheren, the Captain.
 
 Wednesday, June 28
 Venue:  LVC
 City:  Leiden, Netherlands
 
  One great thing about touring Holland is the short drives. (Of course we
 drive, using jet packs is just way too intimidating.)  The club was long and
 narrow with the proper size stage (small!).  We're getting treated way better
 than our earth or space parents have ever allowed.  I think I'm going to have
 groceries for the next 5 months just from what's been left over in our
 dressing rooms.  The show was amazing!  The 3 piece brain collective read
 through with crystal clarity.  Star Crunch is now mandating the club as a
 ship and making the soundman and monitor man the captain and co-pilot.
  Tomorrow's show is with the mighty Doo Rag!
 
 Thursday, June 29                                                           
 Venue:  Effenar
 City:  Eindhoven, Netherlands
 
  On the way out of the Hotel, I snagged a brochure for the Noordwijk Space
 Expo.  So, we headed out to see what "Space" in Dutch actually meant.  The
 facility was small but was layed out really spectacularly.  After buying a
 gaggle-load of space paraphenalia, we took the 12 guilder tour in order to
 receive our official(?) European Space Agency certificate.  Star Crunch
 wanted to see if they would let us capture a few Kodak Space Moments.  They
 actually let us shoot 5 roles of film around various rocket and lunar models.
  Note:  You'll probably be seeing these photos around for the rest of our
 career on earth.  The show was really acceptable.  Doo Rag were uniquely
 superb and I interviewed them for the Man or Astro-Man? Rocket Reader.
 
 Friday, June 30
 Venue:  Basement (Nitetown)
 City:  Rotterdam, Netherlands
 
  It was the morning after the show.  We had been staying in some large office
 building/hotel (I think the club rents out one floor for the bands to stay
 in.)  Anyway, I had been cursed with the earth disease you guys refer to as
 Insomnia.  Technically, it's different because we Astro-men actually recharge
 instead of sleep, but as always we've found that simplification has been the
 best policy when dealing with the earth mind.  Okay, so it was 7:00 a.m., and
 I went to get breakfast.  The problem: no one is around - at all.  I mean
 it's like Vincent Price's "Last Man on Earth."  Curious.  So, being from
 another planet, I persue every nook and cranny of the joint.  Starving (my
 gastro-sensors were reading the big 'E'), I head for the kitchen.  But to no
 avail.  Alas, Coke and Saltines...a breakfast fit for a - well, fit for an
 absolutely morsel-drained space boy.  This was getting to be rather fun, as
 my inhibition programming ebbed with each slurp of my 1 Liter Euro-Coke.
  However, The Apron was to be the major flaw in my non-plan.  I should never
 have put it on.  Busted!  I was caught red-handed in the act of Coke and
 cracker thievery, and while wearing an orange chef's apron...No wonder
 Europeans think Americans are so stupid.  I think it would take only about 17
 episodes like this for the entire continent to think citizens of the United
 States are complete stark raving morons.  Oh, well.  Yesterday's show was
 really in sync.  It was a great maximum-energy-released, 40-minute-space-punk
 set.  The crowd was really into it, and everybody left after we played, so
 the rave DJ's had no one to play Moby for.  What a shame.
 
 Saturday, July 1
 Venue:  Atak
 City:  Enchede, Netherlands
 
  To get in this place you had to state your business to this drive-thru-type
 speaker system and then some unseen controller would cause the road spike to
 go under the ground.  Once inside, this top secret area turned into a strange
 circle of cafes, movie theatres, nite clubs, and bowling alleys.  Weird?
  Needless to say, the references to our being trapped inside The Village from
 "The Prisoner" TV series abounded.  The show went well, but I think my space
 comrads are getting frustrated without a 4th robojock in the mix.  We all
 agreed that if Hayden (ex-Supernova guitar player) would join us, then we
 would teach him the ways of the Astro-clan...
 
 Sunday, July 2
 Venue:  Mark Hall
 City:  Hamburg, Germany
 
  Ah yes, Germany - a wonderful de-evolutionary step in American cultural ease
 and acceptance from that of our European home-away-from-home, Holland.  Lots
 of fucked up people trying to use their 2 years of required English on you.
  The Mark Hall is a huge venue with one large and one small room.  Tonight
 Soul Asylum and Man or Astro-Man? were poised against each other in the two
 halls.  Can you guess who was in which room?  The show was absolute space
 sludge.  We sound checked for an hour only to have the sampler channel and 
 entire monitor system go.  Good punk rock effort by CoCo, but those kind of 
 shows are satisfying me less and less.  No posters - No promotion - Germany 
 sucks space dick.  I did call Hadin, though.  He's in.  I guess the 
 collective brain cell goes back to a four piece when we return home.  
 Hmm...I kind of like the name Dexter X:  Man From Planet Q.  Whaddya think?
 
 Monday, July 3
 OFF DAY
 City:  Hamburg, Germany
 
 Being my normal Space Calvanist self, I never like the thought of having
 days off.  I mean we're away from home base and our earth loved ones - why
 not work our Asstros off?  Truth is, we probably wouldn't survive foreign
 atmospheres if not for the off day phenomenon.  I'll be brief:  Space Suit
 gets washed.  Star Crunch and I buy rad rocket shaped lava lamps.  Band buys
 matching solar glasses (even the fourth pair for Mr. Dexter X), we visit the
 Hamburg TV Tower (cheap German copy of Seattle's beloved Space Needle).
 Ashley Atomica and I eat at its revolving restaurant.  I try to buy a
 Residents CD, but find out the CD's at this shop are only to rent, I get 3
 new books to read including "Is There Anyone Out There."  We go to the
 Reeperbahn and I buy dirty postcards for Bookman and Estrus honcho, Dave
 Crider.  Hey, where'd all my tour money go?
 
 Tuesday, July 4
 Venue:  Huxley's
 City:  Berlin, Germany
 
 The Fourth of July in Berlin, can it get any more patriotic than this?  We
 did a TV interview before the show and this drug crazed cocaine dealer came
 up to us while we were recording and kept trying to take his shirt off.
 Dinner was amazing as most our earth consumption units have been so far.
 With any other crowd the show would have been out of control, but of course
 we became Man or Astro-Fish? and everyone stared at us like we were in an
 aquarium.  Still much smaller crowds in Germany than we expected - Hey, why
 are those tour posters on your desk and not in the city?
 
 Wednesday, July 5
 Venue:  Kerosin
 City:  Augsburg, Germany
 
 Small club, but propaganda visuals (posters!) in place!  Massive amounts of
 Huevos Rancheros stickers were up, giving one a strange sense of Canadian
 wallpaper.  We are currently battling Huevos for attendance, not that either
 Huevos or us were getting calls from Guiness for our German show-going
 attendance figures.  The man providing the stats was Steven "The Invisible
 Tour Manager."  Steven always seems to be there just when you need him.  He's
 probably the nicest, most humble tour guy in the history of music.  He's done
 the likes of My Bloody Valentine and Dinosaur, Jr., and he still treats us
 like a band instead of the bumbling space fools that we proved ourselves to
 be with a pretty weak show.
 
 Thursday, July 6
 Venue:  LGB
 City:  Nuremberg, Germany
 
 Nuremberg, the trials and tribulations of the 3rd reich...what an excellent
 place for humor from outer space.  We showed up to this open-air,
 post-apocolyptic beer garden with 2 strange art buildings to either side.
 This place looked like the brain child of Martin Denny and Goebbles.  First
 off, Mr. Disorganization and Supreme Untogetherness (that's me, for those of
 you keeping score in your astro-logs) locked our only set of keys in the
 van.  Luckily, thanks to Star Crunch's wire fishing capabilities coupled with
 the stroke of genius we had in leaving the sun hatch unlocked, we again had
 escape possibilities.  Andrea from Semaphore, Germany picked us up for an
 interview at Radio Z.  The station was above a belly dancing club, and the
 interview was fun and short.  Maybe belly dancing and good radio interviews
 are direct casualties.  Somehow we all got back to the club with promotional
 copies of a CD where Henry Rollins interviews Wayne Kramer of the MC-5.  Now
 that's weird.  A friend from Empty Records took us to the 3rd reich meeting
 area.  It was dilapidated but still ominous.  The main field dwarfs
 Jordan-Haire Stadium (which holds 80,000) in Auburn.  It was eerie standing
 where Hitler spoke.  For half an hour none of us cracked any jokes.  The 
 show was excitement packed but we were by no means "tight."  The sound guy 
 was a Rastafarian and I kept thinking that we were playing in Jamaica.
 
 Friday, July 7
 Venue:  Perron 55
 City:  Venlo, Netherlands
 
  The band apartment we were suposed to be staying at in Nuremberg wasn't all
 that appealing, so we decided to tackle the 6 hour journey to Venlo as a
 nocturnal task.  My first rememberance of the night was hearing whoops and
 hollers to the ongoing mischief of a drunk driver.  We were all cheering 
 this guy on to smash into another car or to run off the road and over the 
 guard rail.  Sick?  Maybe, but you've never been on the road wearing a 
 sweaty space suit for a solid week, now have you, earth squat?  You take 
 entertainment when and where you can get it.  The show in Venlo was both fun 
 and technically smooth.  Final Note:  if you ever ask for a free t-shirt you 
 will be told to suck Astro-Peter along with the 10 or so people at this club 
 who asked for theirs.
 
 Saturday, July 8
 Venue:  Tivoli
 City:  Utrecht, Netherlands
 
 This ended up being a space extravaganza like no other.  The club had spent
 a week decorating every inch of the place in aluminum foil and space scenery.
 There were even several stuffed astronauts hanging from the ceiling.  The
 Tivoli is a large landing hangar for our tiny spacecraft and crew.  Last 
 time the place was full of Dutch denziens because we were the opening act 
 for Mr. John Spencer himself.  But this night the Astro-men rang the ears of 
 over 600 suckeroonies all by our lonesome.  The live musical experiment went 
 just dandy and there is professional videotape to prove it.  To top the 
 night off, the club made us blue space cake for a post-show treat.  Umm, 
 umm Good!

 Sunday, July 9
 Venue:  Vera
 City:   Groningen, Netherlands
 
 The world famous Vera.  If you've ever played there or talked to a band
 who's toured Holland, you know the history of this volunteer-run club.  I'm
 now supposing that you've read another band's tour diary of their European
 tour, so instead of spending this whole entry telling you how great the club
 is, I will merely reaffirm that it is indeed one of the best, if not thee
 actual thing.  After solving (or at least half-solving) one of the greatest
 amp buzz mysteries of all time, we suited up and were ready to take "the club
 that's seen it all" by meteorite crashing status.  The show was pretty
 strong, but everyone wanted an encore.  Small problem:  we never play
 encores.  In miniscule earth terms, they're just stupid.  I mean, unless
 you're a "Naked Gun"/"Police Academy"/"Airplane" freak, you don't start
 stomping your feet to get an extra tidbit after the credits.  I'm sure
 there's some history to it.  Okay, we're ruining some age old traditions
 started by the Greeks or something, but who cares.  We play our best songs,
 put on our little space side show for 1 hour, and then we head back into the
 great beyond.  Anything else is anti-climactic.  Anyway, the crowd at Vera
 was going nuts.  We had no choice.  Sell outs.  Hypocrites.  So we did it.
  "Here's one more song that won't be as good as the last one because we
 already played our best song last!"  "Never again," I vowed.  At least not 
 on the instruments we know how to play.
 
 
 Monday, July 10
 Travel Day to Sheffield, England
 
 Today's Equations
 *  Oriental Food From Previous Day = Puke in sink next morning
 *  Six Hour Daytime Drive Thru Belgium = Unbearable Venusian 
    planet-surface-type heat
 *  Near Absolute Boredom = 70 pages read and tour diary entries
 *  Ferry Ride to England = Reflections of "alternate universe" with an
    Oxford-graduated Love Boat crew member
 *  Duty Free Shop Aboard Ferry = New socks and underwear, "Pet U.F.O." Game,
    and cool space-age looking silver notebooks
 *  Female Dover Customs Official = Proof of British hatered for Americans
    (squared!)


 Tuesday, July 11
 Venue:  Leadmill
 City:  Sheffield, England
 
 Okay, so my one day-off puke session turned into some kind of Alien 
 Intestinal Death Rot.  Also the combination of the off season and the
 festivals have made for very poor ticket sales.  Finally, Star Crunch's amp
 was sounding like the musical equivalent of Catherine Hepburn's voice.  I
 felt like walking off the stage when the amp coughed in a White Flag way
 during our opening song "Sferic Waves."  But, lo and behold, due to my good
 Karma from making this my "recycling not littering" tour, everything suddenly
 turned around.  CoCo did some excellent stalling antics, and the amp "fixed
 itself" after a good flogging by Star Crunch's boot.  Weird, though entropy
 is way more common than revitilization in Astro-land.  Don't call it a
 comeback.
 
 Wednesday, July 12
 Venue:  The Brittania Rowing Club
 City:  Nottingham
 
 What ***thexit really was a rowing club that this girl had rented out for the
 show.  The inside, however, ended up being really cool.  The ceiling had a
 cave-like texture with cool, white stalagtites protruding from every odd
 angle.  But once again adversity comes quick.  I twisted my foot while trying
 to keep kicking a shitty bass drum pedal, so the rest of the night I had to
 hit it on the side of my bare foot.  You do not know agony until you have
 experienced this bit of musical torture.  I felt like a character in Harlan
 Ellison's "I Have No Mouth, and I Must Scream."  CoCo did a good job of
 anchoring the craft into orbit, though.  This show, because of the trial by
 kick pedal, was one of my least favorite shows of all time.
 
 Thursday, July 13
 Venue:  The Garage
 City:  London
 
 Okay, this was the show that was being covered by the wonderful British
 music press.  I could see the headlines now:  Shit or Bull-Shit?  You Decide.
 With a new pair of Converse Low Tops, a newly improved (due to added patches)
 space suit, and a headlight (excuse me, torch) attachment for my space
 helmet, I was set to shake some cosmic fabric.  Star Crunch had fun foot
 sliding across monitors and CoCo played really well.  After the show, the
 crowd went bo-zonkers and tried to steal our tubes and inflatable rockets.
 It was great!  Okay, maybe we're not Oasis, but as soon as we perfect our
 pouty faces, who knows?
 
 
 Friday, July 14
 Venue:  The Roadhouse
 City:  Manchester
 
 Mike Noon, the head cheeze grater at Moral Sense Fanzine, put on this show
 for the band.  Proof is in the payoff.  Having someone who digs the band do
 the promotion works out a lot better than having some crusty Dead Head staple
 a few posters outside the club.  Thanks to Mike we had about 300 people in a
 room that comfortably held 200.  Due partly in fact to this "squeezing humans
 by the force of a crowbar phenomenon," Manchester was the hottest show of the
 tour.  After a sweat-filled (we still haven't built adequate sweat retainers
 for CoCo's armpits so we can later sell as cologne) set we headed to Mike's
 Godzilla-filled domicile and watched "The Cake" a short film by the BBC that
 used 3 of our songs as background music.  It was actually pretty cool -
 surreal but with a rather warm, farcical edge.  Geeze, get me out of this
 country, I'm starting to talk like them.
 
 
 Saturday, July 15
 Venue:  Phoenix Festival
 City:  Strattford-Upon-Avon
 
 Alright, I know what questions are in the great interior of your mind's
 shell, but no, Shakespeare didn't show up for this one.  Phoenix was the
 reason this tour was planned.  A really big deal with lots of bands, music
 press, and (of course) bull shit.  After nearly being strip-searched to get
 to the Melody Maker Back Stage, we got a chance to take in the atmosphere.
 Lots of hippies, lots of people with Carter the Unstoppable Sex Machine
 T-shirts, and a complete plethora of take-away food places just in case you
 felt the need to dam up those fine arteries.  After relieving organ #1, I
 almost bumped into Ice-T who provided a soon to be overly quoted
 Astro-Phrase: "You wanna scream like Henry Rollins or Pantera?  That shit
 comes from that place inbetween your dick and your asshole."  Our show ended
 up being excellent.  No broken strings, a finely tuned sampler, and a
 mega-blast of space energy.  The promoter said we were the highlight of the
 weekend for the middle stage.  After we played I caught a band called the
 Cardiacs - they were supremely nifty.  They sounded like Devo meets Wire and
 had some of the thriftiest choreographed moves this side of synchronized
 swimming.  Then we were off to do a live interview with none other than John
 Peel.  The interview was hilarious, but I'm not sure how Mr. Peel took our
 Dick Dale irreverance.  Public Enemy was on the main stage and they were
 great.  Flavor Flav could show CoCo a move or two.  Chuck D said that this
 was going to be one of their last shows; at least I was there.  After P.E., I
 caught a second of the Verve.  They were booring wah-wah, slap your ass with
 a tambourine Brit-Pop, not my thing.  Finally, I caught Robyn Hitchcock at
 the acoustic tent.  He was in excellent form, running on with bizaar
 inbetween song wonderings and also providing a decent bit of material that I
 hadn't heard before.  All in all, Phoenix was a diverse experience personally
 and a beneficial experiment for the band.  Gak!  How boorish of an ending
 should be allowed?
 
 
 Sunday, July 16
 Venue:  Schrikkel Pop Festival
 City:  Near Brussels
 
  All night drive and breakfast on a ferry - I hoped that this wasn't routing
 its way into my normal alien existence.  Belgium makes me think of archaic
 historical events that I never did consider pertinent to take note of.  Like
 the "Gallic Wars" for instance, they probably happened in Belgium.  Anyway,
 we showed up to a baseball field-type outdoor event with a bunch of shitty
 Belgium deathcore bands.  Daisy Chainsaw minus the chick singer, Cop Shoot
 Cop and us.  Fucked?  Slightly.  The saving grace was that inside the main
 building there was a "Space Station" pinball game that Star Crunch and CoCo
 got to work on 2p in Brit moula.  Needless to say, infinite pinball play
 could make almost any day survivable.  One of the bands ended up being late
 so we opted to receive and went on 2 hours early.  I was kind of worried
 because everyone was exausted and indifferent being that this was the last
 day of our official active European Duty, but the tour went out in Big Bang
 style.  Even demure Belgian frowns can't resist that Astro-charm.  Even our
 claims of being the controllers of the weather were finally fulfilled as it
 began to rain seconds after our last note.  Now, as in the end of any
 overseas tour, the "unleashing and devulging of the sacrement of the Holy
 Holding-togetherness in Air Cargo, the substance and ritual from which the
 blood of Astro flows and the ceremony therein" (the Time of Taping the Shit
 out of everying with all the duct tape you have or can steal) commences.
 Packed, strapped, and ready to jet we all went our separate ways, just like
 in the Journey song.  CoCo hung out with Jim Rose; I headed for the Eiffel
 Tower; and Star Crunch headed for Houston Control.  We had the Future in
 front of us like the lights of an oncoming spacecraft crashing, control plate
 first, into our present.  Is Dexter X flying this mysterious vehicle?  Find
 out if and when I take the time to do a U.S. Diary of the 1995 West Coast
 Tour.
 
    Congratulations on your Theory of Relativity Earth Saparoos,
       B.Stuff, esq.
 
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------


 THE COSMIK GUIDE TO CHRISTMAS CD'S     
 By Steve Marshall

      
      Welcome to the Cosmik Debris holiday music buying guide for 1995. With 
 the Yuletide season now in full swing, this is the perfect time to check out 
 some of the holiday music available. The selection of new (good) Christmas 
 music over the last few years has been slim at best. This year however, 
 there are several new CDs that deserve a listen. Ranging from the traditional 
 favorites, to punk, and everything in between -- 1995's holiday releases 
 have a lot to offer. We'll start off with some of the newer releases, then 
 move on to a few of the better titles from years passed. We'll wrap it all 
 up with some things that are a bit harder to find.
      One of this year's most eagerly awaited holiday releases is the third 
 Christmas CD from Mannheim Steamroller, "Christmas in the Aire" (American 
 Gramaphone). Combining 16th century instruments with modern electronic 
 instruments, Mannheim Steamroller has created some highly entertaining music 
 over the years, in both its Fresh Aire series and its Christmas CDs. The 
 sound quality is impeccable, with lush orchestration throughout. 11 of the 
 12 songs on this CD were selected by fans who mailed in their requests. 
 Though the CD includes several of the old classics (Rudolph the Red-Nosed
 Reindeer, Jingle Bells, etc), the two highlights are "Pat a Pan" and an 
 instrumental version of the traditional Spanish carol "Los Peces en el Rio".
      Gipsy Kings contribute a vocal rendition of  "Los Peces en el Rio" to 
 a new CD from Atlantic called "Winter, Fire & Snow". The CD includes tracks 
 from Clannad, b-tribe, and Andreas Vollenweider. In addition, you get songs 
 from Jewel, Phoebe Snow, and Jane Siberry, as well as the hard to find 
 Robbie Robertson track, "Christmas Must Be Tonight". 
      While "Winter, Fire & Snow" features mainly artists of the new age and 
 "world music" genres, "You Sleigh Me" (also on Atlantic) concentrates more 
 on pop/rock artists. Tori Amos contributes her live rendition of "Little 
 Drummer Boy", and Collective Soul does an interesting take on "Blue 
 Christmas" (with a riff similar to "Willie & the Hand Jive"). Several of the 
 tracks on "You Sleigh Me" were available last year on a promotional CD from 
 Atlantic called "So This is Christmas". The promo CD also contains 
 traditional carols performed by Hootie and the Blowfish, Evan Dando, and Bad 
 Religion.
      Capitol released one of the best all-around compilations of traditional 
 Christmas songs this year, "Superstars of Christmas 1995". This one contains 
 11 Christmas standards including John Lennon's "Happy Xmas", The Beach Boys'
 "Little Saint Nick", and Frank Sinatra's "The First Noel". The CD also 
 includes a new recording of Willie Nelson's "Pretty Paper", and Diana Ross' 
 rendition of "Silent Night" (available for the first time in the US).
      If you're looking for a wide variety of musical styles this holiday 
 season, look no further than Rhino Records. With the new releases available 
 this year, the label now has over 30 Christmas titles in print. Need to add 
 a bit of humor to your holiday festivities this year? Check out Rhino's new
 "Holidays in Dementia". The songs were hand-picked by Rhino's musical comedy 
 expert himself, Dr. Demento. With tracks like The Waitresses "Christmas 
 Wrapping" & "The Twelve Pains of Christmas" by Bob Rivers' Comedy Corp, 
 "Holidays in Dementia" is sure to please those with a slightly bent sense 
 of humor. Not to be missed on this CD is Joseph Spence's hilarious version 
 of "Santa Claus is Coming to Town". See if you can keep from laughing when 
 you listen to this one.
     What if you're really not into the traditional style of Christmas music, 
 and the Sex Pistols are more your style? No problem. Pick up a copy of 
 Rhino's new "Punk Rock Xmas". Sure to please the hard-core fans out there, 
 "Punk Rock Xmas" includes several songs available for the first time on CD. 
 You get The Dickies rocking version of "Silent Night", The Damned's classic 
 single "There Ain't No Sanity Claus", and Stiff Little Fingers' live version 
 of "White Christmas". If that's not enough, you get new tracks from The 
 Frogs, surf-punk band Bouquet of Veal, and (even though he's not really 
 punk) Mojo Nixon, doing "Christmas, Christmas" to the tune of "Louie, 
 Louie".
     Also available from Rhino this year is Emerson, Lake & Palmer's "I 
 Believe in Father Christmas". The new EP features Greg Lake's original 
 single version of the title track, plus ELP's rendition as well. It also 
 includes the single's rare B-side, "Humbug" (available on CD for the first 
 time), and two more tracks.
     When it comes to holiday music that's been out for a while, there are 
 several good titles to choose from. As far as pop/rock artists, there are 
 now two volumes of "A Very Special Christmas". Both CDs have their moments, 
 with songs from the likes of U2, Sting, Eurythmics, The Pretenders, John 
 Mellencamp, and a classic version of "Santa Claus is Coming to Town" 
 performed by Frank Sinatra & Cyndi Lauper. Another good one to look for is 
 the IRS release, "Just in Time for Christmas", featuring original tracks by 
 Squeeze, The dB's, Wall of Voodoo, Dread Zeppelin, and many others.
     Also worth checking out are the various Christmas albums by Elvis 
 Presley (all on RCA). The most popular one is probably "Elvis' Christmas 
 Album" from 1957. If you're lucky, you may be able to find a digitally 
 remastered mono copy on green vinyl. Be sure to check out "Elvis Sings the 
 Wonderful World of Christmas" for The King's great renditions of "Merry
 Christmas, Baby" and "Winter Wonderland".
     For the traditional standards, Rhino can't be beat with its two volumes 
 of "Billboard's Greatest Christmas Hits". The only thing bad about these 
 (and this is a problem with a lot of Christmas releases) is that they're too 
 short. Rhino should combine the two volumes onto one CD. With classic tracks 
 like Bing Crosby's "White Christmas", Bobby Helms' "Jingle Bell Rock", Elmo 
 & Patsy's "Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer", and Eartha Kitt's classic 
 "Santa Baby", these two CDs are essential.
     For those of you who might prefer your holiday music in the classical 
 vein, there are several versions of the perennial favorites, Tchaikovsky's 
 "Nutcracker Suite" and Handel's "Messiah". If you're looking for something 
 a little more contemporary, check out "Mannheim Steamroller Christmas" 
 (American Gramaphone). It keeps things in somewhat of a classical style, yet 
 has enough of a modern sound to keep it interesting.
     If you're into jazz, you can check out the three volumes of "A GRP 
 Christmas Collection". With the likes of Dave Grusin, Lee Ritenour, Patti 
 Austin, and  Tom Scott, you can be sure to please the jazz aficionados on 
 your list. If you want something with more of a traditional jazz sound, try  
 "God Rest Ye Merry Jazzmen" (Columbia) with artists like McCoy Tyner and 
 Dexter Gordon. If acoustic jazz is more your style, try the Vince Guaraldi 
 Trio's soundtrack to "A Charlie Brown Christmas" (Fantasy). This is another
 essential Christmas CD.
     For those of us with a sense of humor, there are a few more must-have 
 Christmas CDs - although these may a bit harder to find. Pat Godwin's 
 "Reindeer Games" (Rage'n Records) is a great source of laughs over the 
 holidays. Listen to "Grandpa Got Worked Over by a Mobster" or the continuing 
 "12 Days of Rehab".
     Can't find that Pat Godwin CD? Try the second release from Bob Rivers & 
 Twisted Radio, "I am Santa Claus" (Atlantic). Imagine a Christmas song to 
 the melody of Black Sabbath's "Iron Man". Fans of The Wizard of Oz will want 
 to hear "The Magical Kingdom of Claus". The CD's closing track, "O Christmas 
 Tree" is classic. You can't go wrong with this one.
     You want something that will satisfy the kids' sense of humor over the 
 holidays too? Bring home a copy of Ren & Stimpy's "Crock O' Christmas" 
 (Epic). With songs like "Cat Hairballs" and "Happy Holiday Hop" you'll have 
 no trouble entertaining the little ones.
     There are several Christmas songs that are only available on singles. 
 Most of these are hard to find, but are worth your money if you happen to 
 see them. Try to find a copy of Eagles' "Please Come Home For Christmas" 
 (Elektra), or Pearl Jam's rare fan-club single "Let Me Sleep (It's 
 Christmastime)" (Epic). Other singles to seek out are the Bruce Springsteen 
 B-sides, "Santa Claus is Coming to Town" and "Merry Christmas, Baby" (both 
 on Columbia). Daryl Hall and John Oates released a single of "Jingle Bell 
 Rock" that was only pressed on green vinyl. Another good one to search for 
 is Natalie Cole's 1991 version of "The Christmas Song".
     While we're on the topic of hard to find Christmas music, check the 
 cutout bins for a copy of Jon Anderson's "Three Ships" (Atlantic). This 
 excellent album (it's only available on CD in Japan) has been out of print 
 here in the US for years. Add this one to the list of essentials. Another 
 hard to find collection of Christmas music is the Warner Brothers promo-only 
 release, "Winter Warnerland". The double-LP package (one album is red, the 
 other is green) features exclusive tracks from R.E.M., Los Lobos, Peter 
 Cetera, Daniel Lanois, Throwing Muses, & several others.
     Here's a couple more interesting Christmas CDs, if you can find them. 
 "Yule Tunes" (Black Vinyl) has exclusive cuts from the likes of Material 
 Issue, Matthew Sweet, The Cavedogs, and 13 others. "A Lump of Coal" (First 
 Warning) is also a good one to buy. Henry Rollins' take on "The Twelve Days 
 of Christmas" is worth the price of the CD by itself. Plus you get 
 traditional carols respectably performed by Hoodoo Gurus, Crash Test 
 Dummies, and more.
     There are a lot of instances where there may be only one Christmas song 
 on an album or CD. Such is the case with Pat Benatar's bluesy version of 
 "Please Come Home For Christmas" from her "True Love" CD (Chrysalis), and 
 David Bowie/Bing Crosby's classic rendition of "Peace on Earth/Little 
 Drummer Boy" from his latest singles compilation on Rykodisk. Virgin 
 recently released a new King Crimson CD single with the rare 1979 
 Frippertronics version of Silent Night. The Alarm recorded a cover of 
 "Happy Xmas" for their IRS compilation, "Standards".
     As you can see, there is quite a bit of good Christmas music available. 
 You may have to do some hunting to find some of it, but that's half the fun.
 Happy holidays!!!

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 DAVID BOWIE - Outside (Virgin)

      In 1992, David Bowie rekindled his working relationship with Brian Eno 
 and began collaborating on his latest album, "Outside". It was clear from the 
 start, the chemistry between the two had not diminished. Bowie explains, 
 "When Brian and I first got together to work, neither of us had the foggiest 
 idea of what we'd do. But we both instinctively knew what we wouldn't do". 
 Herein lies the magic of the new CD.
      "Outside" is the first in a series of albums planned to chronicle the 
 fictitious diaries of detective Nathan Adler.  When the time came to pick the 
 musicians to play on the CD, Bowie recruited a few of the people he's worked 
 with in the past. In addition to Eno on synthesizers and "various gizmos", 
 "Outside" features Reeves Gabrels and Carlos Alomar on guitar, Erdal Kizilcay 
 on bass, and Soul Asylum's Sterling Campbell on drums. Recording sessions 
 began in March of 1994 with "Lodger" engineer David Richards.
      The CD's first single, "The Heart's Filthy Lesson" and "Hallo Spaceboy" (with
 its Nine Inch Nails influence) are but two of the highlights on "Outside." 
 Mike Garson (who played on Bowie's "Aladdin Sane" album) contributes some 
 hypnotic grand piano to "The Motel". Other standout tracks include "I'm 
 Deranged", "Thru' These Architects Eyes", and possibly the best song on the 
 CD, "Strangers When We Meet".
      "Outside" finds Bowie treading in some new musical territories, at times 
 covering several musical styles within the same song. Each of the songs on 
 the CD segue into each other with atmospheric narratives to create an 
 eclectic, yet focused, 75 minute performance. - (Steve Marshall)

   
 THE CAR THIEVES - 7" EP  (Planet Pimp)
      
      This EP definitely gives new meaning to the word lo-fi as this sounds
 like it might have been recorded in a shower stall using a walkman. With
 song titles like "Steers & Queers" and "Ass Ass or Ass, Nobody Rides For
 Free" I was kinda disappointed to discover that these songs were
 instrumentals. Nevertheless, if you're a fan of all those surf-instro
 records that Estrus Records seems to be selling so much of in their
 catalogues these days, then you oughta dig this as well.
 (1800 Market St., #45,  San Fran. CA 94102) - (The Platterpuss)

 
 JUDE COLE -- I Don't Know Why I Act This Way (Island)

     When Jude Cole released his second album, "A View From 3rd Street", he 
 showed great potential as a guitarist & songwriter. His follow-up album, 
 "Start the Car", turned out to be a disappointment -- both critically and 
 commercially. With his debut CD for Island, "I Don't Know Why I Act This
 Way", Cole seems stuck firmly in adult contemporary mode.
     Like his last album, there are only a few songs that really reach out 
 and grab you. "Move if You're Goin'" has a funky, acoustic blues hook going 
 through it that's guaranteed to get your head moving to the rhythm. The 
 psychedelic "Lowlife" and "Madison" are fairly decent songs, but the rest 
 are standard MOR fare at best.
     With King Crimson drummer and long-time bandmate Pat Mastelotto, Lyle 
 Workman on guitar (ex-Todd Rundgren & Bourgeios Tagg), & Steve Porcaro on 
 keyboards, Cole has put together a tight band on the new CD. Unfortunately, 
 they don't get the chance to stretch out on any of the material here.
     Fans of Cole's earlier work will probably be disappointed with his new 
 CD. It's not a bad CD, but not a great one either. - (Steve Marshall)

   
 CUCKOOLAND - Pop Sensibility  (Damaged Goods)
    
    If ever an album title were a perfect indication of what was inside,
 this is it. At their best this mixed gender sextet reminds me of a more
 Rock & Roll version of Abba, with those exquisite harmony vocals and their
 classic, hook-filled tunes that just beg to be blasted out of car radios
 everywhere. I can't imagine anyone hearing songs like "As Good As It Gets",
 "Radio Friendly", "Here She Comes", "Across The Border", "(I Don't Know)
 Why" and their sped-up, Ramones style rendition of Carole King's "It Might
 As Well Rain Until September" without totally diggin' each and every note.
 As far as feel-good power pop albums go, this is all anyone could ever
 ask for. - (The Platterpuss)

    
 CUCKOOLAND - As Good As It Gets/Richard Jobson Dance - 7" (Damaged Goods)
     
     The A-side is this really nice poppy punk track that's taken from
 their ultra-fabulous debut CD which is also reviewed this issue. The
 flip is a quaint accoustic ballad that's kinda poingnant in its own way,
 scoring some extra points for all of its amusing Punk Rock references.
  - The Platterpuss


 Ff - Lady Shoe  (Double Deuce)
    
    If you like melodic, Husker Du styled punk rock with the guitars
 mixed way way up, this will really put you in your glory. While this is
 not necessarily my usual musical fare, beneath the hoarse, shouted vocals
 and feeling of barely controlled chaos, lurk some really nifty hooks and
 melodies. I almost threw it into my reject pile after one listening and
 that would have been a big mistake as this is one of those albums/discs
 that just seems to grow on me the more I play it. Now I can't imagine
 anyone not really diggin' it.
 (PO Box 515,  New York NY 10159-0515) - (The Platterpuss)


 GOB - s/t  (Landspeed)
    
     Fans of classic Punk Rock will definitely get off on these 9 blasts
 of short (the longest track is 2:01), sweet, adrenaline-fueled rama lama.
 Featuring some pretty impressive chops and hooks galore, I don't know
 where these guys have been hiding all this time but I sure hope that this
 isn't the last we'll be hearing form them. What more can I say except
 get off your asses and drop these guys a line and check 'em out. You'll
 thank me for it later.
 (Box 386, 1027 Davie St.,  Vancouver BC V6E  4L2, CANADA) - (The Platterpuss)


 PJ HARVEY - To Bring You My Love (Island)

      When Polly Jean Harvey sits down to write songs for a new CD, she takes
 a slightly different approach to things. This time around, she literally
 locked herself in a room for several weeks. The results, however, were
 nothing short of spectacular. Ten of the songs written eventually made it
 onto the new CD, with several of the remaining tracks popping up as B-sides
 (outside the US).
      "To Bring You My Love", the band's third CD (the fourth if you include
 "4-Track Demos"), was released this spring to rave critical & commercial
 reviews. With songs like "Long Snake Moan", "Meet Ze Monsta", PJ will
 satisfy the rockers out there. Other songs, like the dark & brooding "Teclo"
 or "Working for the Man" show a more intimate side of Harvey. The CD also
 includes songs that are more radio-friendly, like "Send His Love to Me" or
 "Down by the Water".
      1995 is shaping up to be a stellar year for the charismatic Polly and
 her band. Following a high-exposure tour this summer with +Live+, as well
 as two short headlining tours on their own, PJ Harvey has just been named
 Spin Magazine's 1995 Artist of the Year. The band has the potential for
 greatness, and if this CD is any indication, they're well on their way.
  - (Steve Marshall)
 

 THE HORMONES - Sell Out Young/You Can't Win  - 7" (Unclean)
      
      Fans of crude '77 style punk that sounds as if it could've come
 straight off a "Killed By Death" compilation will want to waste no time
 scoring a copy of this little biscuit for themselves. While it may sound
 like a whole lotta other records that have come and gone over the last
 18 years (has it really been that long ?!?!) there's no denying the power
 and appeal of some good old fashioned snotty Punk Rock with a bad
 attitude. - (The Platterpuss)

 
 HUEVOS RANCHERS - Dig In!  (Mint)
     
     Over the last few years one of the least interesting trends in Rock &
 Roll has been the popularity of all these surf instrumental bands. While
 I have nothing against instrumentals, most bands don't have the chops or
 the balls to be able to play a whole set of 'em without sending me straight
 to snoozeville. Notice that I said most, 'cause just like The Trashwomen,
 these string twangin' madmen have more cojones than a whole roomful
 of Dick Dale wannabees. Perhaps it's because rather than concentrating
 on the surfy stuff, these guys take more of their inspration from Link
 Wray, especially in that nice thick fat and juicy guitar sound that they
 get. Songs like "Secret Recipe", "Rockin' In The Henhouse" and "Gump
 Worlsey's Lament" have that same wonderful totally fuzzed-out sound that
 Link always had. Even when they play surf music as in "Whiteout In Wyoming"
 and "Where's The Bathroom" they still pack a helluva lot more punch and
 wallup than most other bands. I've talked a lot about their guitar sound
 but equal credit must be given to the crack rhythm section that, whatever
 style their playing in, always drives things along with maximum intensity.
 If you're into guitar instrumentals or just totally kick-ass Rock & Roll,
 nobody does it any better than these guys. - (The Platterpuss)

 
 HUEVOS RANCHEROS - 64 Slices Of American Cheese/Telstar - 7" (Roto-Flex)
      
      I just love that thick and meaty, fuzzed-out, Link Wrayish guitar
 sound that these guys get. The A-side (an original I presume) is OK, if
 nothing all that special but their take on the old Joe Meek/Tornadoes hit
 is simply superb and more than reason enough to shell out your hard-earned
 cash for this. - (The Platterpuss)

 
 JAVA MEN - A Letter To St. Paul - CD - (Self-released)

      I've never tried to review jazz before, so this should be kinda weird.
 Jazz, for me, is usually an all or nothing proposition.  Love or hate.  No 
 middle ground.  THIS CD is firmly in the "Love" column.  Java Men are
 Todd Hildreth (Hammond Organ), Craig Wagner (Guitar) and Ray Rizzo (Drums),
 and they hail from Louisville, Kentucky.  Hildreth covers the bass parts on 
 the Hammond, as well.  He's not exactly a rookie, either, having played with 
 The Platters, Martha And The Vandellas and the alternative band King Kong.  
 All three are outstanding musicians.  If you are familiar with the sound
 of a Hammond organ in a jazz context, imagine how it would sound within 
 dream-like and mysterious compositions, backed by guitar and drums.  
 While there are several pounding and turbulant passages, the music generally
 leans toward the mellow side, but never disintegrates into muzak, as so much
 modern jazz tends to do.  Instead, Java Men manage to keep it mellow while
 playing intricate parts within songs that actually GO somewhere. It'll be 
 interesting to see if the band goes somewhere, as well. They certainly 
 deserve to, and apparently they're a hit in their home town.  Now they're 
 ready to be heard elsewhere.  To get a copy, send e-mail to thayes@iglou.com.
 They also have a WWW site  at http://www.webcom.com/~groove/java/java.html
 that you can check out. - (DJ Johnson)
 
 
 THE LYRES - Give Your Love To Me/Security - 7" (Norton)
      
      Yet another masterpiece from Boston's finest. "Give Your Love..." is
 in more of a ballad mode than what we're used to from these guys and it
 features some incredibly soulful vocals from Jeff. "Security" is the old
 Otis Redding stomper which they pound out with wild abandon, pulling out
 all the stops. Neither track is on their latest CD, making this a must-own
 for any fan of the band. - (The Platterpuss)


 M.O.T.O. - Midnight At The Guantanamo Room/Skinny Head - 7" (Mind Of A Child)
      
      M.O.T.O., which stands for Masters Of The Obvious, have been around
 for at least 6 or 7 years, playing some gigs here and there and
 releasing the occasional limited edition cassette. This duo (guitar and
 drums) play slightly skewed, quirky power pop that's as witty, charming
 and irresistable as any I've ever heard. There's a kind of roght-hewn,
 low-budget (though not low-fi) aesthetic going on here that adds an
 anything-can-happen feeling to the proceedings. If you're into bands
 like Big Star or Guided By Voices, you really oughta give these guys a
 listen.
 (PO Box 1586,  Findlay OH 45839-1586) - (The Platterpuss)


 PINK LINCOLNS - Sumo Fumes 2 EP - 7" (Stiff Pole)
      
      On the A-side we're treated to 2 chunks of rough and ready punk rock
 that both have the perfect combination of melodic hooky smarts and snarly
 aggressive energy. The flip is a version of P-Furs' "Pretty In Pink", a
 song (and band) I never had much use for and even though PL rock it up
 considerably, I would've preferred another original. Still, 2 out of 3
 is definitely good enough to make this worth your hard earned cash.
 (PO Box 20721,  St. Pete FL 33742) - (The Platterpuss)


 PRIBATA IDAHO - Sueroine  (Munster)
    
    If I had heard this without already knowing what it is, I might have
 easily thought that this was some 70's Byrds or Roger McGuinn album, so
 similar is his voice to that of lead singer Ernesto Gonzalez on this 11
 song collection. And open up the CD booklet and there's a picture of ol'
 Ernie playing a Rickenbacker. Surprise, surprise! Actually, all sarcasm
 aside, this is an extremely pleasant listen and, if it is kinda on the
 predictable side, well at least they're stealing from one of the best.
 While not every song measures up to the high standards set by McGuinn and
 Co., there are a good half dozen or so that really manage to hold their
 own. On the Platterpuss Scale of Rock & Roll, this one rates a solid not
 bad at all. - (The Platterpuss)


 BONNIE RAITT - Road Tested (Capitol)

      After a career of almost 25 years in the music industry, Grammy Award
 winner Bonnie Raitt has just released her first live album. The new double
 CD, "Road Tested", contains 22 songs recorded this past July. Ranging from
 singles like the CD's opening track, "Thing Called Love" (with Bruce Hornsby)
 or "Love Sneakin' Up On You", to ballads like "Matters of the Heart", Raitt
 covers a wide spectrum of her music - and its influences. "I've been wanting
 to do a live record for a long time", says Bonnie.
      One of the things she wanted to do with the album was to include songs
 that are performed "in a way that is significantly different from the studio
 versions". In addition to two songs performed with Hornsby, "Road Tested"
 includes duets on some of Raitt's personal favorites with Kim Wilson (from
 The Fabulous Thunderbirds), Jackson Browne, and Bryan Adams.
      Most of the material on the CD comes across very well. One of the
 highlights is the solo rendition of Chris Smither's "Love Me Like a Man".
 Bonnie's live take on "Three Time Loser" sounds better than her original. On
 the funky "Never Make Your Move Too Soon", Raitt is joined onstage by R&B
 veterans Ruth Brown & Charles Brown.
      There are times, mainly on the ballads, where Raitt seems uninspired.
 It's almost as if she's succumbed to MOR for part of the set. But then, just
 to throw you off guard, she dishes up a respectable cover of the Talking
 Heads classic, "Burning Down the House".
      The CD ends with an all-star performance of John Prine's "Angel From
 Montgomery". If you're a fan of Bonnie Raitt, you'll like the new CD. If
 you're not a fan, pick it up anyway. You just might be surprised.
 - (Steve Marshall)

 
 THE RAZZELS - Booger  (Earthtone)
    
     Fans of the Vacant Lot or The Parasites will really get off on The
 Razzels intense yet breezy brand of melodic punk that sounds as if it's
 equally influenced by bands like The Beach Boys and The Raspberries as
 it is by The Buzzcocks and The Ramones. Eight songs on this little mini-
 disc and they're all gems. With the exception of the one lone ballad
 this is all pure Jolt cola, as in gobs of sugar and caffeine aided by huge
 dabs of youthful adrenaline and enthusiasm, not to mention a slew of catchy
 tunes. What more can anyone really want? I only hope that these guys can
 make it down to New York City for some gigs and that they stick around
 long enough to make a second album. In the meantime, drop 'em a line, send 
 'em some cash and give yourself a treat.
 (1077 Elmwood Ave.,  Buffalo NY 14222) - (The Platterpuss)


 SCHLEPROCK - Out Of Spite  (Dr. Strange)
     
     The 5 songs on this CD EP are so damn catchy I think I could continue
 to play this thing over and over all day long and never get bored. Like
 their labelmates Rhythm Collision and Face To Face, these guys play
 some of the most intense yet melodic punk rock you're ever gonna hear.
 I've heard other things by them but this has got 'em all beat by a long
 shot. I can't recommend this highly enough as all 5 tracks here are
 certifiable classics. - (The Platterpuss)

 
 SIMON AND THE BAR SINISTERS - Look At Me I'm Cool - CD (Upstart Records)
 
      My beliefs about Simon And The Bar Sinisters were based on one record,
 a split-7 they did with The Shitbirds.  It was very surfy, and I just 
 assumed that was what they did all the time.  Imagine my surprise when I
 popped "Look At Me I'm Cool" in the changer and got a boot full of 
 rockabilly right in the face.  Rest assured, the volume went up and the
 headphones went on.  
      Simon Chardiet has been around some.  He was the leader of Joey 
 Miserable and the Worms, which was a damned good gig, but Simon had a 
 problem.  He was an addict.  Eventually The Worms went it alone, even
 though they still did Simon's tunes.  Simon got more miserable for a while
 and finally went cold turkey, spending three months withdrawing.  What has
 all this got to do with his debut album, you ask?  It has everything to
 do with it, because Simon has seen and survived it all, and some of those 
 experiences are reflected in the songs on this album.
      These three guys (Simon Chardiet - Guitar/Vocals, Eric Parker -
 Drums, Blackie - Bass) don't give a damn whether they get mass acceptance
 or not, so they don't dwell on one style.  They play a powerful brand of
 rockaboogie on songs like "Woodpecker Rock," "Speed, Weed & Whiskey," 
 and the hilarious "Thinkin' With The Wrong Head."  They're no less adept
 at hard edged blues, as songs like "Dirty Mean" and the title track will
 prove.  They can shift it into punk mode, as they do on "Drag Blues" and
 "Things Have Changed Now," and they actually DO some surfy instro stuff,
 like "Mr. Pickle" and "Surf The Wild Gowanus."  It all sounds straight and
 honest, with no gloss, thanks in part to excellent and subtle production
 by Eric Ambel, a former member of The Del Lords.  When Simon and company
 swing you can almost hear the cowboy hats, and when they kick into R&B 
 mode, ZZ Top leaves town in shame.   
      Picking a few highlights from an album this jammed is next to 
 impossible, but if I could only pop one on a tape to show everyone, it
 would be "Speed, Weed & Whiskey."  It's one of the swingier rockabilly
 tracks.  Happy dancing music is matched with tragic and true to life lyrics.

  "Before me lies the dregs of my life
   On the mirror is my last rail
   One last roach lies in my clip
   And within me, the knowledge that I've failed
   Speed, weed & whiskey
   Have caused me to lose what's left of my mind
   And when I checked into this cheap hotel
   I left my dearest dreams behind"

 It reads like a sad ballad, but the music moves your feet and you're 
 compelled to yell "Yeeehaw" at least once, no matter how inappropriate it
 may be.  The overall effect is something like what Warren Zevon achieved 
 with "Excitable Boy," with its happy music and lyric about a murderous 
 mental case kid.
      After leading the listener from style to style and back again, Simon
 downshifts for the final track, "The Drunken Hiccups."  Simon plays it alone,
 dazzling with incredible acoustic guitar work.  In the end, you hear him say
 "That's that" and the ride is over.  Rock and roll this pure is extremely
 rare.  Simon And The Bar Sinisters have managed to take the ultimate bar
 band sound and capture it on CD.  If you're looking for straight forward
 kick-in-the-face rock and roll, look no further. - (DJ Johnson)


 SOUTHERN CULTURE ON THE SKIDS - Dirt Track Date (Geffen)

      HOT!  Hot, hot, hot!  It's hard to find words that do justice to this 
 incredible three piece band.  Rick Miller plays guitar in so many styles
 that it's impossible to label him.  Just when you think you hear a strong
 John Fogerty influence, in kicks a guitar part more reminicent of Link
 Wray.  The result is that Southern Culture never ever gets boring.  Mary
 Huff provides excellent bass, great vocals that remind me of one of the
 ladies in the B52's (I can never remember which one is which) and occasional
 keyboards, which she's pretty impressive on as well.  David Hartman is the
 perfect drummer to balance the two up front, playing in a solid groove that
 reminds me a little of Frank Beard in the early years of ZZ Top.  
      "Voodoo Cadillac," the opening song, sounds a bit like "Born On The
 Bayou," by CCR.  The rhythm guitar part is quite similar.  The rest is all
 S.C.O.T.S., and the song ambles nicely into the fast soul track "Soul City."

  "It don't matter if your teeth are shiny
   If your dick is big or your dick is tiny!"

 Political statements.  Gotta love 'em.  "Greenback Fly," "Fried Chicken and
 Gasoline," "Firefly," and "Dirt Track Date" are all kickass boogie tunes,
 some of them verging on rockabilly.  "Skullbucket" is a great instrumental
 tune.  On "Nitty Gritty," Mary gets the spotlight for a cool lead vocal.
 "White Trash," with evil distorted vocals by Miller, is damned nearly a
 punk song.  The band has more sounds than Rick Nielson has guitars.  
      The CD came with a bottle of Barbeque Sauce!  No, I'm serious!  GOOD 
 sauce, too.  And if all this isn't enough, they're intellectual, to boot!  
 They ask tough questions like "Baby?  Will you eat that there snack cracker 
 in your special outfit for me, please?"  It does set ones mind to wandering.
 - (DJ Johnson)


 SWINGIN' UTTERS - The Streets Of San Francisco  (New Red Archives)
      
      I can see that I'm gonna end up taping a lot of these songs and
 playing them on my walkman on my way to work in the mornings. Whatcha
 got here are a bunch of angry, snotty young punks with rotten attitudes
 and a knack for writing catchy, hummable tunes that'll make riding on
 the subway packed like a sardine next to some sweaty smelly jerk almost
 bearable. What more can I ask for?
 (PO Box 210501,  San Francisco CA 94121) - (The Platterpuss)


 UPPER CRUST - Let Them Eat Rock (Upstart)

      On first listen, "Let Them Eat Rock" sounds like a fairly precise 
 ripoff of "Let There Be Rock" vintage AC/DC.  On closer examination, Upper 
 Crust turns out to be a lot of good fun.  Yup, it still is an AC/DC robbery, 
 but they aren't trying to hide it.  Instead, they put on powdered wigs and 
 17th century garb, and sings songs about their rock and roll butlers and
 Little Lord Fauntleroy.  
      "Rock And Roll Butler" seems like a natural single.  Great instrumental 
 AND vocal hooks, power to spare and more than a little bit of snotty winking
 humor.  As I understand it, though, "Let Them Eat Rock" is the first single
 from this album, most likely because it sums up the schtick so well.  Since
 the songs here are deceptively catchy (you think it sounds common but you
 can't get it out of your head), and since the world loves schtick, these 
 former members of great Boston bands like The Lyres, The Flies and The Bags
 have a good shot at making a dent in the mainstream.
      Fans of fast 80's rock and roll will love "I Got My Ascot 'n' My 
 Dickie," a title which demonstrates their behind-the-hankie-giggling sense
 of humor.  Those of you who actually like to listen to lyrics will probably
 enjoy Upper Crust a whole lot more than those who don't, because songs like
 "Friend of a Friend of the Working Class" are pretty damned funny, in a
 twisted way.  If aristorock catches on as a new genre, they've got it made.
 - (DJ Johnson)
 
                                                     
 VARIOUS ARTISTS - Artcore (Tooth & Nail Records PO BOX 12698 Seattle, WA
                   98111-4698.  E-mail to Tooth1Nail@aol.com)

      See, this is why the Internet is so damned cool.  This doesn't seem 
 to be a CD with a PR machine pushing it.  I got ahold of it because someone
 sent me e-mail casually asking if I wanted to hear it.  I love this job, 
 because I just don't know if I ever would have heard Lance Alton Hemingway's 
 "Evangaline" without it.  Besides that unknown classic, there are several 
 other good songs, and a few great ones.
      Let's talk about the aforementioned Hemingway first.  "Evangaline" is
 a very simple tune (something this comp is filled with), the main sounds
 being acoustic guitar, accordian (or well disguised keyboards), and sparse 
 bass and drums that are so subtle you hardly notice them, though they are 
 vital to the sound.  And Hemingway's voice.  It's his voice that gets you.  
 He sings with deep desperation, sounding like he's cried all night before 
 pleading with his Evangaline.  It's a very slow song, and it's got a stark
 DIY feel to it that only adds to its desperate mood when he sings "If I 
 breathe - she holds her breath. - She speaks of life - I drink to death."
 There are so many artists out there trying so hard to do emotional music,
 and most of them fail on one level in particular - it feels forced.  This
 was real.
      The Sirago 17's "Bedspins (Mustang Version)" is another great one. The
 wall of sound effect is created by Chris Reid on everything (guitars, drums,
 bass, keyboards..jeez, even Autoharp!) and Elli Bartsch, who sings with
 a beautiful and fragile voice.  Her multi-tracked self-harmonies are the 
 icing.  
      Other highlights include Rose Blossom Punch's "Sowing In The Sun,"
 which sounds kind of like a 60's beat band on acid, Julie Band's "A Little 
 Nothing," which sounds almost like a little girl singing with a dixiland
 band on Vaudaville, and Superchrome UK's "Going Down," a spooky little song
 with a strange lyric about a guy who doesn't want to kill his girlfriend
 only because she might come back to haunt him.  What a together guy.
      Several other good songs fill this CD.  Very strange music, very hard
 to catagorize.  The quality runs from lofi DIY to very clean studio work.
 With so many sounds and styles, though, you're bound to love SOME of this. 
 Here's the talent list: Joy Electric, Rose Blossom Punch, Starflyer 2000,
 Lance Alton Hemingway, Julie Band, Deer, The Way Sect Bloom, The Sirago 17,
 Luxury, Havana Rail Company, MXPX (Magnified Plaid), Superchrome UK, and
 Almonzo.  All in all, an unusual compilation that I'm listening to a lot 
 lately. - (DJ Johnson)

 

 VARIOUS ARTISTS -- Dr. Demento 25th Anniversary Collection (Rhino)

      In 1970, disc jockey and ex-roadie, Barry Hansen made his first
 appearance as Dr. Demento on Los Angeles' legendary free-form radio station,
 KPPC. Twenty-five successful years later, Rhino has issued a 36-track
 double-CD compilation commemorating the occasion. The 25th Anniversary
 Collection contains several rare and hard-to-find songs, many available
 on CD for the first time.
      This is the latest in a series of several Dr. Demento compilations
 released by Rhino. The double-CD covers several musical eras, from Benny
 Bell's classic "Shaving Cream"  through Green Jelly's "Three Little Pigs".
 This time however, the label focuses mainly on more recently produced material.
      Disc one gets things off to a rocking start with "Weird Al" doing
 "Smells Like Nirvana".  From there we jump back to 1956, and Stan Freberg's
 echo laden single, "Heartbreak Hotel". One of the things that keeps things
 interesting on the collection (as if the material itself wasn't enough), is
 the way the songs jump through every era of music from the last 49 years.
 Where else will you find such artists as The Happy Schnapps Combo, Spike
 Jones, and Julie Brown all in the same package?
      Also found on disc one is "Fast Food", by ex-St. Louis disc jockeys,
 Ron Stevens and Joy Grdnic. Anyone who's ever gone through a restaurant's
 drive-thru can relate to this one. Of course, no collection like this can
 be complete without a track from Leonard Nimoy. However, rather than the
 obligatory "Proud Mary", this time we get the mundane "Highly Illogical".
 Spike Jones is represented by the ever-popular "Dance of the Hours", and
 nearing the end of disc one, we get Tiny Tim's famous rendition of "Tip-Toe
 Thru' the Tulips With Me".
      Moving onto disc two, the selection is a little disappointing. While it
 definitely has its moments, like Bobby Pickett & Peter Ferrara's hilarious
 "Star Drek", or 1972's classic drinking song, "In Heaven There is No Beer"
 by Clean Living, we're left to sit through Larry Verne's whining on "Mr.
 Custer", and 1954's "Song of the Sewer" by Art Carney. There are also some
 glaring omissions here, such as Napoleon XIV's "They're Coming to Take Me
 Away, Ha-Haaa!", Allan Sherman's "Hello Muddah, Hello Fadduh", or Barnes &
 Barnes' "Fish Heads" -- the latter being the most requested song ever on the
 show. Plus (and maybe this is a blessing in disguise), there are no William
 Shatner songs. Then again, those were all available on previous compilations.
      As is the case with most Rhino releases, the packaging on The 25th
 Anniversary Collection is excellent. It contains a 28-page booklet with
 photos of several of the artists on the CDs, along with an extensive essay
 written by Hansen, and full label credits for each track. While this is not
 the definitive Dr. Demento collection (that would be Rhino's 6LP "The
 Greatest Novelty Records of All Time), it is certainly a great place to
 start. - (Steve Marshall)


 VARIOUS ARTISTS - Hodge Podge and Barrage From Japan Vol. 2 (1+2/Barn Homes)
      
        I'm not sure why the "..From Japan" is in the title of this thing as
 at least half the bands on here are from the U.S. Nonetheless, like Vol.
 One, this is the ultimate trash Rock & Roll compilation as it features
 tracks by The 5.6.7.8's, Jackie & The Cedrics, The Makers, Jack O' Fire,
 Great Mongoose, Fireworks and Roy Loney plus a whole slew of others.
 Some of my favorites include a wild version of "Bip Bop Bip" by Great
 Mongoose, The Titans' "Speedqueen Mama", "Nut Rocker" by Golden Balls
 where the melody is played on guitar instead of piano like on just about
 every other version of this song I've ever heard, the 2 instrumental tracks
 by Jackie & The Cedrics and "Everybody Else" by The Mortals. Truth be told,
 there's nothing on here that I don't really like a whole bunch. If you're
 searching for the ultimate drunken party disc, look no further.
 (avail. thru Get Hip) - (The Platterpuss)


 VARIOUS ARTISTS - A Perfect Pop Compilation  (Perfect Pop)
      
      Those of you who've been reading this mag for awhile are, no doubt,
 familiar with this excellent Norwegian pop music label. Their forte is
 producing bands who tend to favor a lighter approach to pop, very often
 with a mid-late 60s early psychedelia/flower power feel. This 27-song
 compilation features songs by every one of their artists and 11 of the
 tracks are previously unreleased in any form. Some of my personal favorite
 PP bands are The Time Lodgers who play some of the most optimistic and
 upbeat psych pop I've ever heard; The Blind Bats, a Flatmates/Primitives
 inspired girl group whose records are propelled along by generous helpings
 of lush organ chords and their version of The Monkees' "I'm A Believer"
 is truly wonderful. The Silly Pillows, The Bartlebees, Astroburger, King
 Midas, The Release Party and others round out this fine collection. If
 the prospect of discovering a whole new world of incredibly lovely pop
 music is an appealing one, you really oughtta drop these folks a line.
  - (The Platterpuss)

 
 VARIOUS ARTISTS -- A Saucerful of Pink (Cleopatra)

     There has been an enormous amount of tribute albums in the past few years 
 -- some good, some not so good. One of the worst is the new Pink Floyd 
 tribute, "A Saucerful of Pink". The songs range in scope from fairly 
 faithful renditions to unlistenable to unrecognizable. Unfortunately, most 
 of the songs on the CD fall into the latter two categories. Very few of the 
 tracks on the CD show any hope of listenability whatsoever.
     From Controlled Bleeding's take on "Another Brick in the Wall" 
 (unrecognizable until the vocals come in), to the techno version of "One of 
 These Days" by Spahn Ranch, you quickly begin to wonder if this is someone's 
 idea of a cruel joke. You say you want to hear what a house version of "On
 the Run" would sound like? Look no further than Din's take on the song 
 ending the first disc. Yes it's true, there are enough bad versions of 
 classic Floyd songs to occupy two CDs.
     Moving onto the second disc, we find two of the only songs that bear 
 any resemblance to the original versions at all -- "Hey You" by Furnace, and 
 Pressurehead's rendition of "Let There Be More Light". Penal Colony's techno 
 attempt at "Young Lust" is horrid.
     If you're a fan of the trance remix CDs, then this is the CD for you. 
 However, if you're a fan of Pink Floyd, avoid this one at all costs.
 - (Steve Marshall)
  

 WIVES - Ask Me How (Go Kart Records)

      This is the first full length release by New York's outstanding punk
 band Wives, and it's one of the strongest debuts you're ever likely to
 hear.  This isn't surprising, since it was recorded during the same sessions
 that produced "Paper Trail" and "Double Think," which were released as a
 very strong single on Vital Records this year.  
      Ask Me How is a short CD, with 11 songs clocking in at 29:36, and it
 leaves you craving more.  Luckily for us, this band is catching on, so
 there WILL be more.  Susan Horwitz (Guitar/Vocals), Mary Dunham (Bass) and
 Tracy Almazan (Drums) play some very complex punk which is sometimes a bit
 dark and anxious.  Susan's songs are populated with characters facing tough
 roads, such as the agoraphobic in "Rosa," who's just about ready to make
 a break for it, or the alcoholic in "8ball" who can barely get off the bar
 stool to go home.  It's nice to hear an album that offers a chance to do
 some thinking and interpreting, and this is certainly one of those albums.
      After a great year, Wives (sometimes "THE" Wives, sometimes not, it
 seems) are gaining respect all around the country.  There are at least three
 songs on this CD that could be legitimate singles, if the indie biz operated
 that way.  "8ball," "Away" and "Smooth Stone" all have fantastic hooks that
 should grab them a lot of fans.  Keep an eye on this band. - (DJ Johnson)

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

 * BOOK REVIEWS *

 GUITAR STORIES  
 Author - Michael Wright
 Vintage Guitar Books, PO Box 7301, Bismark ND 58507
 WWW site at http://www.vguitar.com/vintageguitar.html
 Reviewed by DJ Johnson
 

      Some guitarists just want to plug in and play, and those people see 
 guitars in the same way some people look at computers.  They just want it
 to do its job.  They don't wish to know who made it and why.  This book is 
 NOT for those guitarists.  This is for the ones who look at a Vox Phantom 
 (Teardrop) guitar and feel a deep sense of longing, and the ones that see
 a picture of a 1964 EKO 700 and scream "JEEZ, that's weird!  Gimme!"  Most
 of all, it's for the guitarist who covets inside information about the 
 objects of his or her obsession.
      The author, Michael Wright, is well known to fans of Vintage Guitar 
 Magazine as the writer of "The Different Strummer" column.  In "Guitar
 Stories," Wright has done a lot of digging into the histories of many great
 (and sometimes downright strange) guitars, basses and amps.  Wright traces
 the evolution of guitar from the Chordophones of the ancient Middle East to
 the Lutes of the late 1500's to the modern guitar.  Then, beginning with
 PREMIER, he outlines the histories of company after company with the help
 of over 1,100 photographs that range from straight forward guitar pics to
 reprints of classic advertisements.  His writing style is easy and familiar,
 and he speaks the language of the true guitar freak.  Most of us who are over
 30 years of age can get quite nostalgic when he writes "...the monumental 
 Sears, Roebuck and Company catalog -- the quintessential American document 
 after the Declaration Of Independence and the Constitution -- featured a 
 full line of guitars, as that remarkable mailorder retailer, with the help 
 of the U.S. Postal Service, set about spreading the fruits of low cost mass
 manufacturing to the remotest corners of the land."
      There is a chapter called "Gibson's Experimental 70's," so I looked up
 the L6-S, which is my long lost love.  That guitar had more sound and a 
 better feel than any other guitar I've owned.  There it was, on page 234.
 I had never known that Bill Lawrence designed the pickups, or that those
 were the first "Very High Output" super humbuckers.  Says right here that 
 they were the hottest pickups at that time.  I always said that guitar was
 hotter than any other.  There you have it.  "Guitar Stories" passes the 
 functionality test.  I was seeking specific info, and I found it.  
      A chapter on Maestro effects units is included, and again there is 
 a ton of information to be absorbed, not the least interesting of which is
 that Bob Moog was involved in the design of these cool stomp boxes.  (How
 cool?  How 'bout a Wah/Volume pedal covered in blue flock!?)  And there's 
 even a chapter on Dean guitars.  Now, for those of you who weren't paying
 attention in the 70's, Dean Zelinsky was a 19 year old kid with a knack for
 building guitars with a fat sound.  His axes were suddenly all the rage,
 and his ads were filled with sex.  Women in various stages of undress held
 Dean guitars, or at least bent over near them.  In one ad, a woman in a 
 bikini kneels in the ocean while holding a Dean.  The ad reads "Feel the
 difference."  In another, a particularly friendly looking blond woman in a
 teddy kneels on a bed, holding a Dean guitar.  "Rock Your Baby All Night 
 Long."  As I recall, Guitar Player Magazine's readers were furious, writing
 letters of indignation.  "This has nothing to do with guitar!  Stop running
 these ads or I will cancel my subscription!"  Meanwhile, there was a trend
 of greatly improved right-hand technique taking place.  You do the math.
 Happily (or unhappily, depending on your viewpoint), "Guitar Stories" even 
 revisits these ads.
      Other high points include the four sections of color plates, which 
 include pics of such oddities as the 1968 Sekova Grecian (with its separate
 pickups for each string), the 1967 La Baye 2x4 Six (which has no body...
 kinda like The Stick, only configured just like a guitar) and the foam-blue
 1967 EKO Rok, (which looks like something Bugs Bunny would travel to Mars
 inside of!  Honest!)
      "Guitar Stories" is exactly what the title says it is.  It's about the
 guitars and the companies.  It attempts to dispel the rumors and the
 inaccuracies which abound in the guitar world, and sometimes it even offers
 help to those who want to be able to tell what year a particular guitar was
 built.  As many of you know, that isn't always easy.  What "Guitar Stories"
 is best at is helping you daydream.  If you love guitars, this is a great
 love story.

  (Next issue, I'll review "Stellas & Stratocasters," by Willie G. Moseley.)

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

 DJ PRESENTS THE FIRST NON-STICK COLUMN!
 By DJ Johnson

      After three or four months of writing my Sharp Pointed Stick Awards
 column, I'm just a bit restless.  Sure, it's fun to take pot shots at the
 truly stupid people in the news, but something was missing for me.  I sat
 here and watched my fellow Cosmik columnists venting about whatever was on
 their minds at that moment, and then I realized...that was it.  I couldn't
 rant and rave, and isn't that what a column is for anyway?  So from now on,
 this column will be...well, basically a BROADER sharp pointed stick.  I'll
 still give the awards on occasion, but now I can blast away at less obvious
 targets, or even just whine about general stuff that is probably my own 
 damned fault in the first place.  Hey, I feel better already.
      SO!  There is definitely something on my mind this month.  I just spent
 three mind numbing hours watching TNN, The Nashville Network.  Not all at
 once, mind you.  I read the warning label and followed the safe dosage 
 recommendations.  I watched it in three 1-hour bursts.  The first hour was
 easy, because I was laughing so hard it became therapeutic.  The second hour
 was when the joke wore thin.  These people really act like this?  They all
 dress the same?  And sequins are really in fashion there?  And what's this
 dance they're doing?  IS it a dance?
      The first hour was filled with country videos.  YOUNG country, I hear
 them calling it now.  I guess "Young Country" means an endless repitition of
 uniform musical structures performed by people in uniform uniforms.  I'm
 not a big fan of country music, I admit, but I do love certain performers
 from what has sadly become the "old country" school.  Johnny Cash, Doc 
 Watson, Patsy Cline...all are well represented in my record collection.  It's
 this new stuff I can't seem to get into.  There are a few good tunes, sure,
 but the majority of these performers are only distinguishable by which color
 their sequins reflect.  The subject matter of almost every song I heard in
 that hour was women, but the attitude was usually prehistoric-macho.  Did
 they miss the battle of the sexes in Nashville or something?  Were no bras
 burned?  Is the "Get back in the kitchen or I'll kick yer purty ass" 
 attitude still saleable in the Post-OJ era?
      The second hour was filled with some sort of variety show.  I'm not 
 even sure of the name of the show or the names of the hosts.  A man with
 short greasy jet black hair and a big mustache, and a woman who seems all
 too willing to "run fetch him a beer."  An endless stream of people in
 sequined black outfits with oversized guitars encased in hand tooled leather
 sing what I suspect is the same song for the entire hour, with plenty of
 hooting and schmoozing between songs from the hosts.  Gasping for air, I
 switched to MTV for the ten seconds I could stand it.  Then I just shut the
 damned TV off and went for a walk to calm my nerves.  Something was wrong
 here.  Something in the eyes of the studio audience folk.
      Two hours later, I turned it back on for the final hour of my 
 investigation.  ACK!  It was THEM again!  Greasy Stache and his pretty lap
 girl!  They were still on!  How long IS that show?  This time, there were
 no sequined performers.  They were spinning the top 20 country hits, and
 they had a dance floor filled with people in boots.  It was like American
 Bandstand in the old west, y'know?  Only these people weren't dancing in
 pairs.  No siree-bob!  They were in lines, and they were doing this strange
 and boring step.  My wife, who is much hipper than I, has informed me that
 this is called "Line Dancing," a name in keeping with the overall creativity
 level of the genre.  They take a few steps and turn...stomp once...take a 
 few steps and turn...and so on.  It doesn't even look like fun.  The song
 ends, people yip and hoot, and the next song kicks in.  The regiment on the
 floor falls back into line and starts the same dance again.  It doesn't make
 a bit of difference if the music is fast or slow.  They just keep marching
 with blank expressions on their faces.  This goes on for the entire hour 
 until the the timer I had set sounded, freeing me of my nightmare. Once again,
 I turned to MTV, and of course, there wasn't a music video to be found.
 Instead, some guy was sideways in the camera's viewfinder, complaining that
 people don't take him seriously as a marriage counselor because he's gay.
 Or something like that.  Anyway, I flipped stations again, and ended up on
 the Trinity Broadcasting Network, where I saw a Tammy Faye Baker wannabe
 singing, with black-mud tears streaming down her face, voice squeaking every
 time she sang the word "Lord," and that's when I noticed the audience had
 the same expressions on their faces I'd seen minutes earlier on the faces
 of the line dancers.  I'm not going to draw the entire conclusion.  You're
 smart people.  
      A week after the breakthrough in my therapy that made it possible for 
 me to tune in TNN once again to face my demons, I made the discovery that 
 the Greasy Stache Guy/Pretty Woman tandem are on 24 hours a day!  Well, it
 seems like it, anyway.  There WAS a stock car race or two, and a tobacco
 juice spitting contest or something like that, but I think they were the 
 hosts of the latter.  The best part of my therapy has been my homework
 assignments, which usually entail listening to Johnny Cash or Al Caiola
 very loud in the headphones.  Of course, even that kind of country only
 does me for an hour or so, then I have to hear some Dead Kennedys or
 Basement Brats for awhile.  The end result of this experiment was complete
 blockage of TNN on my cable box.  Locked out!  I just couldn't chance it.
 Only then did the "broken back - TNN on - remote out of reach - family out
 of town for a week" nightmares cease.  Fear conformity, please.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

 BETWEEN ZERO AND ONE: Buy Or Die
 By Steven Leith
 
      No one likes taxes.  Yet I suggest that taxes are a very small part of 
 the price we must pay to live in western society.  Taxes have evolved from 
 the simple extortion of past systems into a complex system of transactions. 
 The State, in keeping with the economic system, sells us services.  Whether 
 or not the price is too high or the service is poor is beside the main 
 point.
      The main point is that our transactions with the state costs the bulk 
 of citizens from 10% to 20% of their productivity.  This productivity is
 measured in payment for work.  Seems like a lot of time spent working for
 the State doesn't it?  Well, if you think the other 80% of your productivity
 goes to you, read on.
      People have argued that paying taxes is the price of living within a 
 State.  I contend that this is reversed.  Our paying taxes is the price the 
 economic system is willing to let us pay to allow a state to exist.  Our 
 paying taxes removes from possible exploitation some of our income.
      In fact the 80% of our productivity that we spend on food, shelter,
 transportation, entertainment, medicine  etc., is the real price we pay to
 live in the industrialized west.  If we stopped paying taxes highways might
 crumble, but if we stop consuming the entire edifice of the western economic 
 culture would crumble.
      If you are one of the many for whom consumption is a celebration of
 individual freedom you must try to see that what you call bracelets are
 really manacles.  Try disconnecting your phone, giving up your car and stop
 paying rent.  You will quickly see how your very life depends upon payment
 of the hidden tax of the consumerist system.  You will not be taxed by the 
 state for something you don't have, but you will be "taxed" for living in 
 the society by the economic system.  If you don't pay you don't play.
      The consumerist system requires you to participate.  When you do, you 
 are participating in a redistribution of wealth on an unprecedented scale.
 Wealth in terms of natural resources moves from the earth to the upper 1%
 to 5% of the West's citizens.  The system even borrows wealth from unborn
 citizens in terms of environmental damage that will someday have to be paid
 for by the consumers.
      Increased productivity and lower wages creates rising profits.  This is 
 not a hunch, it is a real trend that has been underway since 1973.  It is 
 not an anomaly of the system,  it the natural consequence of a system that
 packs each transaction with more profit and less product.
      A modern consumerist transaction depends upon the win / lose accounting
 logic.  The amount of your labor it takes to buy something must be many
 times more than the labor it took to create it and get it to you.  With the
 advent of off shore sweat shops this equation is going up faster and faster.
      If we call 1982 prices 100%, then prices have increased to 162% by  
 August 1995, according to the Consumer Price Index as presented by the 
 Bureau of Labor and Statistics (http://stats.bls.gov/). That's not even 
 showing the whole picture.  If you take the same chart and look at 1973 
 costs you see they where 42.6% of 1987 costs. That means cost have risen at 
 least 100% since 1973.  Has your pay risen by even half that?  The answer 
 is to be found in another chart from the same source.

 Data Type : AVERAGE HOURLY EARNINGS, 1982 DOLLARS
 1982 = $ 7.69     1995 = $ 7.39

      Isn't that interesting?  If you add in the fact that productivity has 
 risen then you begin to see that a unit of production costs less to make, 
 but cost more to buy.  So, where does this excess wealth go?  Funny you 
 should ask.
      The money goes where it always goes, from the bottom up.  The 
 transactions of the consumerist culture are transactions of decline in as 
 much as the wealth of the mass of citizens it redistributed to the few who 
 own, manage and control the engines that drive the consumerist society.
      If you dare, load this graph to see where the money is going and then 
 ask yourself what your real taxes are.

                              - * -

(EDITOR'S NOTE: For those of you reading the ascii version of Cosmik Debris,
 Mr. Leith is refering, in the final paragraph, to the document that can be 
 found at http://www.mlinet.com:8000/bci/pages/a0q018.html.) 
----------------------------------------------------------------------------- 

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          Decembers random gathering of things, items & stuff!



                   (I WENT TO THE CORNER)

		i went to the corner of fourth
		down santa clara street
		the liquor store there got closed
		the drunkards who used to lie on the sidewalk
		mumbling in the dead of night
		and the skin-full-life-size Madonna poster
		are gone
		and i feel blue

						H.California
						 1995-10-23
	
 	

     "640K ought to be enough for anybody." -- Bill Gates, 1981




       Sign outside the Fountain of Youth Health Spa in Salt Lake City:
       Are You Fat And Ugly?  Do You Want To Be Just Ugly?  Memberships
       Available Now.



  
              TULIP HEAD
              ----------

        there were several tulip bulbs
        paper thin layered
        last year's peeling tan
        sprouting a hint of nakedness
        they were planted
        behind each ear
        rain watered
        with absolute regularity
        softly from low ceilings
        whenever he went out
        but mostly in the dark
        when snuggled on the humous
        of a dampened pillow
        they began to sprout roots
        scraggly, at first,
        thin tendrils of presumption
        curling hair's breadths
        into dark mattedness
        creeping, and invasive
        they sought vacant hair follicles
        probed their way down
        sliding their slippery rout
        through too narrowed crevices
        down deep dark shafts
        bursting through membrane
        past tiny vein collapses
        wavering in throbbing loops
        spreading into cortex
        slowly, meticulously
        tracing connections
        rewiring synapses
        probing into the medula
        the pons, the encaphalon
        tapping into pituitary
        to sip some exudations
        it was spring
        bird songs rejoicing
        about big sements of worms
        nests of horsehair
        strings and cigarette butts
        the tulips were blossoming
        gushing from their buds
        interjections of colour
        and Tulip Head was buzzing too
        buzzing upon shallow grounds
        thoughts vibrated
        in the looping roots
        of a rewired cortex
        as the tulips whispered
        thoughts slowly rooted out
        distorted into a knotted mass
        and Tulip Head urged to vow
        next year's planting
        would be narcissi
        instead of tulips
        burgeoning their loud colours
        behind each ear.

        - Bob Ezargailis
        (c) B.E.E.  7 January 1994.
        Deadicated to every TwoLip Head !



     "I'm just glad it'll be Clark Gable who's falling on his face and not
     Gary Cooper." -- Gary Cooper on his decision not to take the leading
     role in "Gone With The Wind."



     "Who the hell wants to hear actors talk?" -- H.M. Warner, Warner
     Brothers, 1927.


  
     SMOOTH STONE
      
  There is a reason for everthing that happened today
  All the reasons are clearer on the replay

  Another bad scene, but it's not life or death
  Another bad dream and I wake up - Where is my next breath?

  Like a smooth stone
  Skip it over the water
  Over my heartbeat
  Skips one beat

  Must be the season for this kind of experience
  Later with hindsight we'll realize that it makes no sense
  
  Like a smooth stone
  Skip it over the water
  Over my heartbeat
  Skips one beat

   - THE WIVES -
  (From the album "Ask me How")



     "We don't like their sound, and guitar music is on the way out."
     -- Decca Recording Co. rejecting the Beatles, 1962.



 A "Frisbeterian" believes that when you die, your soul goes up on the
 roof, and you can't get it back down.



		jazz
                ----

        the blowers sweep piles of leaves from the sidewalks
	they humble the loud truck engines
	i set the volume higher

	i listen to Duke

	   Descartes missed by a mile

	   thinking is a distant
	   runner up to being

	   thinking

	   overtook my time
	   like about
	   the diff

	   between

	   infatuation
	   and being in love
	   and my winter approaching fast

	   i know the answer

	   the palette
	   from crazy
	   to aching for years

	the blowers on the sidewalks don't let up
	and i listen to jazz
	   
	   
	   			H.California
	   			 1995-10-23


     "The concept is interesting and well-formed, but in order to earn
     better than a 'C,' the idea must be feasible." -- A Yale University
     management professor in response to Fred Smith's paper proposing
     reliable overnight delivery service. (Smith went on to found Federal   
     Express Corp.)

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

            
 
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----------------------------------------------------------------------------

