Capital of Nasty Electronic Magazine
Volume I, Issue XVIII, Year MCMXCVI AD
Monday, October 21th, 1996
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1.      Readers' letters:
        A.      - Readers and abortions
        B.      - "Do you think you're smart?"
2.      HOW DO YOU READ CoN?   by Suzanne Schumacher
3.      Emmet's drink (a no frill's story)
4.      Think, MacGyver!

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1.      Readers' Letters


A.      - Readers and Abortions

Organization:      Centro di Calcolo - Dipartimento di Informatica di Pisa - Italy
Date sent:        15 Oct 96 00:53:49 +0100
From:             chiarito@CLI.DI.Unipi.IT (Rudi Chiarito)
Subject:          Re: Capital of Nasty, Volume I, Issue XVII, Year MCMXCVI AD
To:               leandro@ifront.com (leandro)

Hijal and sons <hijalandsons@mail.accent.net> wrote:
>        Excuse me but are we not getting carried away here?

Well.. it was a bit too personal, maybe :)

>I hate to break this to you, but:

>1)      God does not exist, so please stop using him as an argument.

Who said God?
I've been an atheist for such a long time (my motto is "Thank God
there's atheism", even).
Maybe you think I'm a believer just because you're assuming that
"against abortion" means "religious". How nice. Sorry, but you're dead
wrong. Do you realize how utterly ridiculous all of this is? Are you
going to call me a communist just because I hate fascists and the
excessive american power (which incidentally are getting more and more
related every day)?
Funny logic of yours! Picturesque, I must say.

>2)      Take into consideration the fact that the United Nation has
>estimated that the greatest danger for humanity is over-population.

Abortion is just a workaround. I DO know over-population is going to
become the most urgent problem for us all. Though you aren't going to
improve things a lot if you just *KILL BABIES*. Yes, that's what I
think abortion is all about. Being atheist doesnt necessarily imply I
eat babies or something like that. It doesn't prevent me from having
feelings.

Judging by what you say, one might even come up with the idea of
killing parents/people BEFORE they procreate. That's going to
reduce over-population, ain't it? It's a shame it sounds just a bit too
fascist to me. Fascism is explicitly forbidden by the law, here.
Or maybe would you let me kill YOU? Isn't that going to help, too?
Come on.. dont be silly.

People shouldn't worry about over-population ONLY after they (or their
gfs/wives/whatever) get pregnant. I think it's nothing but an
irresponsible behaviour.

>3)      Let me guess, first we start by telling WOMEN that they have
>absolutely no right to decide what to do with THEIR body and then we
>will not allow them to use contraception when having sex
>(All the religions forbid it), and then we will take away their right
>to vote, forbid them from working and force them to have 13 children,
>after which we will either have them die in childbirth or put them
>away in the country while the father continues his "procreative duty"
>with other women, all of course without using condoms, so that (Just
>like the Pope hopes) we put into this world more AIDS babies, more
>crack babies and more babies with abnormalities that will make their
>whole existence (if they do manage to live that long) MISERABLE...

Hey.. you're starting to seeing things. Have you actually read what
I wrote last time? You're 'accusing' me (yes, I take it as an offence)
of being religious. I'll tell you once again.. I'm not. Definitely.
I've had more than enough of all sorts of religions, expecially
Catholicism. I think everybody has the right to believe whatever they
want, but that shouldnt let religions TAKE CONTROL of their lives.

I don't care if all the religions forbid birth control. I never said
women shouldn't take pills or whatever you prefer.
I don't want to take away any of their rights and I don't want my
woman to raise 13 children all by herself, while I'm having fun with
someone else. Did I ever say that?
I love babies, don't you? I'm sure I'd spend more time with them than
with my wife :).
What you're saying sounds just paranoid. You're deliberately accusing
me of things I didn't say.

I DO use condoms. I DO want women to decide for themselves what to do
with their bodies. I don't want them (and their men as well, I'm not
blaming it all on women) to kill lives, though.

I have never had sex without a condom.. and never would. Well...
When/if my woman and I BOTH want a baby, we won't use it. Of course.
I just don't want to KILL any babies of *OURS* (it may seem weird
nowadays, but it still takes two). If she doesn't want to keep any
children in case anything goes wrong (i.e. the condom/pill hasnt
worked as supposed to), I simply won't have 'proper' sex with her.
After all, I haven't spent all of my life in bed with a woman. I think
I could live without it.

In my opinion one should ALWAYS take one's responsibilities for the
effects of his/her horniness. Otherwise, one can still have fun with
substitutes. Incidentally.. do you really think a believer would
actually suggest someone else to use a vibrator? or call her a bitch?
It's forbidden by most religions.. still I did it. How come?

>4)      Regardless of what I said above, I respect your opinion, but
>please remember that people are not responsible and that an abortion
>is better than a miserable life in poverty, ignorance, sickness or
>God knows what else...

hey! *YOU* said God!

Why don't we start to improve everybody's life instead?
If you're so concerned about over-population.. why don't you start
boycotting those companies which exploit 3rd world nations? (who knows
why most of them are american...) Why don't we help other people to
actually have a culture, rather than making them work 16 hours a day
to make goods for luckier, fat-bottomed people like you and me?
(well, I'm thin like a rake, indeed.. and my bottom isn't as
attractive as it used to be)

The best solution to a problem is preventing it from happening.
Legitimizing abortion will just give people an excuse to behave
irresponsibly over and over. Plus... it's a belated way to fix things.

Anyway... have you actually seen how abortion is done? (Un)Luckily
enough, I have... you can be sure it was by far the worst hour of my
whole life.

Of course I'm not saying that abortion isnt a necessary solution in
extreme cases. It doesnt have to be a general rule or a custom, though.

>5)      If you want to answer me, please avoid any insults or swear
>words, since I feel about them the same way you feel about abortion...

Is this ok?
BTW I insulted Melissa because she's my best friend :) I think she
sucks and strangely enough she AGREES!

>Cheers

>666
>SUPPORT BACTERIA!!!
>It's the only culture I'm lucky enough to have

Lucky you! I dont even have that.
                                                Rudi

PS
Sorry for my funny english.. it isnt my native language. I learnt it
by reading computer magazines and listening to music. Go figure.

PPS
Judging by your email address, you must be Canadian. What you say
sounds just American though... I wonder why.

--
  "At mihi quod vivo dextraxerit invida turba, post obitum duplici fenore
   reddet Honos"                                             (Propertius)

       *WWW*  http://www.cli.di.unipi.it/~chiarito/ --- *IRC*  Nutello
   Rudi Chiarito - chiarito@cli.di.unipi.it ~ intel OUTside!! ~ Team AMIGA
 MISTAKES/MISSPELLINGS ARE FICTIONAL:A SIMILARITY TO REAL ONES IS INCIDENTAL


 - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

B.      - "Do you think you're smart?"

Date sent:        Mon, 14 Oct 1996 03:11:08 -0400 (EDT)
From:             Alessia <alexis.roettinger@yale.edu>
To:               Leandro Asnaghi-Nicastro <leandro@ifront.com>
Copies to:        CoN Members <leandro@ifront.com>
Subject:          Re: Capital of Nasty, Volume I, Issue XVII, Year MCMXCVI AD

Ok, I'll move past abortion, but I must say something to this tool.

Hijal and sons wrote: <hijalandsons@mail.accent.net>
> I hate to break this to you, but:
> 
> 1)      God does not exist, so please stop using him as an argument.

I agree with most of what you, say but the God argument is completely 
irrelevant.  I don't believe in God either, but as you say, everyone has 
a right to their opinion, and it is wrong of you to assert your word as 
law, no matter how much "proof" you (or I) think there is.

> 2.      What, me worry? (Errata Corrige) by Jason MacIsaac.

What the hell is this?  Do you think you're funny?  You're not.  Do you 
think you're smart?  You may be, but no one appreciates this stuff.  Yes, 
I CAN take a joke, but this is pathetic.  Do you know what rhetorical 
means?  (and please don't respond with the entymology of the word.)  And I 
have a few more specific comments in the relevant places.  


> states in question must be both geographical in nature?  2)  The literal
> definition means "within state," so it is perfectly acceptable to use
> in this fashion.  "Telestate highway," now that would make no sense.

You are plain wrong.  Inter- means between.  International, interwoven, 
etc etc.  Intra- means within.  Intramural, intraperitoneal, etc etc.  
Tele- means distant.  Telescope, telegraph, etc etc.

>         A parachute would be utterly useless.  If a plane is damaged
> and cannot remain in the air, bailing out with a parachute would
> certainly be fatal.  The chute would like be caught on the wings of
> the plane, hopelessly tangles in cross-currents, or even sucked into
> the jets.  It also takes considerable training to use a parachute,
> whereas a flotation device is much simpler and more familiar to
> civilian life.

Well who says the crash will occur over water, the only place a flotation 
device would do any good?

>         The light projected by the headlights is travelling the speed
> of light.  They would not outrace the car.  However, depending on which
> theory of relativity you support, you may or may not believe that
> travelling the speed of light alters the mass of the vehicle, reducing
> it to zero.  Therefore, turning the headlights on would instantly reduce
> the vehicle's speed to exactly O kph.  Unless safety equipment kept the
> user inertia-less, they would be killed instantly.

That's a stupid answer.  If your mass had already been reduced to zero, 
there would be no headlights to turn on.  And what is "they" (... would 
not outrace the car).  And assuming you could turn your lights on when 
massless, why would they stop the car?  Light has no mass either, so 
inertia is irrelevant.

>         Words are not actually the things they represent.  You cannot,
> for example, drink the word "water." 

Ohhh!  That must explain why I'm so thirsty.  duh

> 
>         Designers of aircraft must take into consideration the
> aerodynamic properties of all substances used in the manufacture of
> planes.  Some metals/alloys are extremely tough, but put considerable
> strain on the engines. From a passenger's point of view, the build of
> a plummeting plane is immaterial.  Inertia is what counts.  If you are
> falling at 700 mph, it doesn't matter if you're wrapped in paper or
> Titanium.  You will die.

You're just into inertia huh?  I guess you enjoyed physics 101.
Besides, I'm sure there is something you could be coated in that would 
protect you from such a fall.  (a mile of foam rubber?)  But yes, 
you are correct, construction  materials are limited by their durability, 
aerodynamics, density, but you forgot cost-effectiveness.  (extremely 
important when talking about the gov't...)

>        I could quote Orwell quoting someone else here, but I believe I
> will wait until he can do it in person.

And that will be never.  (that was the best you could come up with for 
that long thing?  tsk tsk.) 
 
And on a closing note, I apologize.  I didn't mean to get so petty and 
harpy, but your message makes me... ill?  Question my faith in the human 
race?  


/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\
Alex Roettinger 				alexroet@minerva.cis.yale.edu
Yale University 			http://pantheon.cis.yale.edu/~alexroet  
\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/


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2.      HOW DO YOU READ CoN?

To anyone that's gotten this far (depending on where this is placed, if
you miss it, it might be because you see a Cap loading and just trash 
it) I am doing a questionair, yes, with only one question, on how you 
read CoN.  This does not really mean "I stand on my head in order to 
make sense of it" but if you wish do read it that way, come to think of 
it, just put that.  As an example, I have a thing going where I don't 
read them for a few weeks, when there are two or three accumulated, I 
get my cup of tea, and read them all together (yes, average 10 minutes, 
so it's 20-30 minutes of good clean fun).  So tell me, how do you read 
CoN and the answer will appear when I get around to writing in again.  
Send answers either care of re back to leandro, or to me at:

        salad@ridgecrest.ca.us     

         Thanks Gang
          Suzanne Schumacher


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3.      Emmet's drink (a no frill's story)      by Leandro

        It was the usual long day at "no frills" (I still
think the store should be called "no trills", because of frills,
we get plenty, but anyway...), and I am enjoying a nice bottle
of Pink Lemonade made by that trendy brand called Frutopia.
I walk into the dairy backroom, leave the bottle on one of the
milk skids to answer a price check.  When I come back, I grab
my bottle and notice something weird. The liquid is not that
original light pink color, but it has a sort of reddish-brownish
feel to it.  The bottle is also full again. "What gives?" I think
"I left it half empty (or should I say half full?)".  At the corner
I see Emmet laughing his head off, holding a container of chocolate
milk shake.  "Great" I mutter.
        "Try drinking that," he goes.  I look at him, not sure
if perhaps I should just kill him, or laugh.  I decide to laugh.
I grab the bottle, and take a sip at it.  Surprisingly it tasted
amazing.
        "Wow!" I go "this tastes pretty good actually!"
        "Yeah right" laughs Emmet "you're just saying it."
        Daniel S., who was working on the other end of the dairy
comes over and tries the deadly mix.  Oddly enough he likes it as
well.  Emmet stops smiling, runs over and tries it as well.
        "It's really good!" he shouts.
It is, I'm thinking, but I'd rather not think of the effects of
mixing lemon juice with a dairy product.  Our stomacks are going
to be sorry.  I put the bottle down and I walk back out of the
backroom, as I hear my name being called at the front again.
        A few minutes later I come back, thirsty, but willing to
drink that fatal mix, when I notice that the bottle is full again.
What's worse, that this time the color is of a pinkish-white.  It
feels like deja-vu.  Emmet is at the corner laughing his head off,
but this time holding a Yogurt container.
        I grab the bottle, shake it, open it and drink half of it.
It tasted even better!  Daniel S. and Emmet try it as well and
are surprised of such hideous ingredients, when mixed together,
managed to produce such a great tasting drink.
        "Maybe," grins Daniel S., "we should market this drink."
        "Add some vodka perhaps?" smiles Emmet.
        "Include some Tums in the packaging as well..", said I.
After that, we spent the day mixing various other ingredients in
that bottle, and trying the results.
I'll just say that I'm glad the store has a lot of washrooms for
the staff.

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4.      Think, MacGyver!

        You are stuck in William Shatner's washroom.
You have to pick up your girl/boyfriend in an hour.
You look around, there are no windows.  The only exit
is the door from where you came from.  What do you do?
                Think, MacGyver!

        Send in your responses to leandro@ifront.com
and let's see who's smart enough to find the way out.

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