Capital of Nasty Electronic Magazine
Volume I, Issue XIX, Year AD MCMXCVI
Monday, October 28th, 1996
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1.      Readers' letters:
        A.      - Readers and abortions
        B.      - "Do you think you're smart?"
        C.      - Silly chain letters.
        D.      - For Inclusion In CoN
2.      Those special Church ladies.
3.      Think McGyver!

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1.      Readers' letters:

A.      - Readers and abortions

	It seems now that the Abortion discussion has
died down, perhaps found some peace.  I would just like
to say one thing.  I like the fact that people participated
and expressed what they had to say, but from what I was
reading, it seemed that at times, some people, were not
reading other people's responses.  What I, and I think
Rudi was trying to say is that having an abortion, or
keeping a baby that you don't want, are both bad.
Before you have sex, think of the consequences.  There
are times during the month when the woman is not fertile,
and if you still think that condoms and pills don't work,
there are other ways of having sex that don't necessarely
involve intercourse.
	As for God, again, I just said "IF GOD EXISTS",
and if people believe in him or not, it should not be
used as a point to prove ones opinion.  For some of us
there is a God, and he's there for us.  (Yes, I said HE,
it's a free country, I can think what I want, right?).
For others God doesn't exist (I agree. At times, it's hard
to believe, especially when you study Biology).  Then
there are others like me who are not certain.  God is
there perhaps, but I make my own future.  Like my
grandmother says "help yourself, and God will help you".

	Leandro (leandro@ifront.com)

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B.      - "Do you think you're smart?"

Date sent:        Wed, 16 Oct 1996 09:17:12 -0700
To:               leandro@ifront.com
From:             Jason MacIsaac <jason@ifront.com>
Subject:          Re: Capital of Nasty, Volume I, Issue XVIII, Year MCMXCVI

Alessia <alexis.roettinger@yale.edu> wrote:
>Ok, I'll move past abortion, but I must say something to this tool.
>
>
>> I hate to break this to you, but:
>> 
>> 1)      God does not exist, so please stop using him as an argument.
>
>I agree with most of what you, say but the God argument is completely
>irrelevant.  I don't believe in God either, but as you say, everyone
>has a right to their opinion, and it is wrong of you to assert your
>word as law, no matter how much "proof" you (or I) think there is.
>
>> 2.      What, me worry? (Errata Corrige) by Jason MacIsaac.
>
>What the hell is this?

God does not exist?  Does hell exist?

>Do you think you're funny?  

Yes.

>You're not.  

I am.

>Do you think you're smart?  

Yes.

>You may be, but no one appreciates this stuff.

Leandro liked it enough to publish it in his magazine.

>  Yes, I CAN take a joke, but this is pathetic.  Do you know
>what rhetorical means?  

In fact I do.  You apparently do not.  I will avoid using the entymology of
the word since that would squeeze some information in your benumbed brain
which is already being used for such vital operation such as dressing and
feeding yourself.  But, a rhetorical question is a question that has no
answer.  The point of asking a rhetorical question is not to exchange
information, but to engage in communication for its own sake.  You do not
need to share ideas, only speak well.  

>(and please don't respond with the entymology of the word.)  And I have
>a few more specific comments in the relevant places.  
Oh, I can't wait to hear this.  My efforts are total waste of time, or so
I'm told, and yet it's perfectly acceptable use of time to respond to them.
Okay wise ass.  Shoot.


>> states in question must be both geographical in nature?  2)  The
>> literal definition means "within state," so it is perfectly
>> acceptable to use in this fashion.  "Telestate highway," now that
>> would make no sense.
>
>You are plain wrong.  Inter- means between.  International,
>interwoven, etc etc.  Intra- means within.  Intramural,
>intraperitoneal, etc etc.  Tele- means distant.  Telescope, telegraph,
>etc etc.

Thank you.  I stand corrected.  


>>>         A parachute would be utterly useless.  If a plane is damaged
>> and cannot remain in the air, bailing out with a parachute would
>> certainly be fatal.  The chute would like be caught on the wings of
>> the plane, hopelessly tangles in cross-currents, or even sucked into
>> the jets.  It also takes considerable training to use a parachute,
>> whereas a flotation device is much simpler and more familiar to
>> civilian life.
>
>Well who says the crash will occur over water, the only place a
>flotation device would do any good?
In either event, a parachute would be useless.  That was the point.  A
person's only hope for survival in a crashing plane is the skill of the
pilot and the design of the plane.  If the crash occurs on land, the odds
are that medical assistance can be brought to the plane instantly.  If the
crash occurs in water, there is a new immediate threat to the lives of the
passengers.

>> The light projected by the headlights is travelling the speed
>> of light.  They would not outrace the car.  However, depending on
>> which theory of relativity you support, you may or may not believe
>> that travelling the speed of light alters the mass of the vehicle,
>> reducing it to zero.  Therefore, turning the headlights on would
>> instantly reduce the vehicle's speed to exactly O kph.  Unless
>> safety equipment kept the user inertia-less, they would be killed
>> instantly.

>That's a stupid answer.  If your mass had already been reduced to
>zero, there would be no headlights to turn on.  And what is "they"
>(... would not outrace the car).  And assuming you could turn your
>lights on when massless, why would they stop the car?  Light has no
>mass either, so inertia is irrelevant.

"They" is the headlights.  Pay attention.  Also pay attention to the words
DEPENDING ON WHICH THEORY OF RELATIVITY YOU SUPPORT.  Light does have
physical properties, possibly even mass.  As nothing but light is currently
able to travel the speed of light, we do not know what would happen to a
craft that travels this speed.  It is possible that it would inherit a whole
new area of physics.  


>> Words are not actually the things they represent.  You cannot,
>> for example, drink the word "water." 

>Ohhh!  That must explain why I'm so thirsty.  duh

Do they not teach Sociology at Yale?  No, let me guess.  You're into
psychology.  I'd bet money on it.

>> I could quote Orwell quoting someone else here, but I believe
>> I will wait until he can do it in person.

>And that will be never.  (that was the best you could come up with for
>that long thing?  tsk tsk.)

Oh, you know Orwell's dead, do you.  You CAN take a joke.
 
>And on a closing note, I apologize.  I didn't mean to get so petty and
>harpy, but your message makes me... ill?  Question my faith in the
>human race?  

        Perhaps this whole message didn't clarify the situation.  That set
of rhetorical questions was sent to me as part of a chain letter.  It had
the usual crap in it--send five copies to five friends, you will receive
luck blah blah blah.  I wrote the responses to its ideas as a rebuttal to
the idiotic myticism in the letter. Nothing kills mysticism faster than a
lack of imagination, which was a tool I used for humorous effect (well, not
according to you). However, since you take exception to things I wrote, I
can only assume that you give your full support to chain letters.  I
therefore encourage all readers to send their chain letters to: 

alexroet@minerva.cis.yale.edu Yale

PS:  Why didn't you get involved in the abortion argument?  I just have to
hear your opinions on abortion.  I'll bet you've got the solutions that
everyone's been waiting for.  Since you're unable to detect it, let me tell
you that last part was sarcasm.

        Jason MacIsaac <jason@ifront.com>

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C.      - Silly chain letters.

Date sent:        Sun, 20 Oct 1996 01:51:15 -0400
To:               leandro@ifront.com
From:             blonde@io.org
Subject:          Re: Capital of Nasty, Volume I, Issue

Jason MacIsaac <jason@ifront.com> wrote:
>PS:  Why didn't you get involved in the abortion argument?  I just
>have to hear your opinions on abortion.  I'll bet you've got the
>solutions that everyone's been waiting for.  Since you're unable to
>detect it, let me tell you that last part was sarcasm.

Oh, shit.

Perhaps, we should set up some news groups:

alt.zines.con
alt.zines.con.discussion
alt.zines.con.abortion
alt.zines.con.silly-chain-letters


-- 
ZimID  935D8FDD 1993/12/17  1F BB 76 6D B2 90 4D 4C  9C D9 04 62 62 6A 7F 45  
       finger blonde@io.org for key 
  Web  http://www.io.org:80/~blonde 
 
We sealed the door with bedsheets and the only thing we need is oxygen.
We lived until the 23rd but now we are finished.
 -- A note written in Swahili by an African businessman before he died in
    the submerged hull of the ferry Lake Victoria, which sank May 21, 1996

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D.      For Inclusion In CoN

Date: Thu, 24 Oct 1996 01:13:13 -0700 (PDT)
From: David Welton <davidw@efn.org>
To: rakam@io.org
Subject: Re: Capital of Nasty, Volume I, Issue XIV, Year MCMXCVI AD

For inclusion in CoN:

[clipped from CoN]
> if there is a God,
> that he saw you all this time.
       ^^
God is black, and she is *very* angry.

David Welton   
davidw@efn.org  davidw@freenet.hut.fi  http://www.efn.org/~davidw 
Se quest'email e` in Italiano, mi dispiace per gli errori:-) FORZA PANTANI!



-- End --

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2.      Those special Church ladies

SPACE FOR RANT          by Douglas White

        I wish fat socialist lesbians who hate men would
fuck off and keep their big fat mouths shut and mind their
own business.
        I'm sick and tired of these people yapping at me when
I'm out with my dog.
        "Don't you realize you are not allowed in here?"
        Another favorite is: "Don't you think it's a little
too cold (or hot) for your dog today?"
        Or how about: "I hope you are planning on cleaning that
up..." Meanwhile, I'm standing behind the dog waiting for the
shit to come out with a plastic bag on my hand.
        Who do these fucking bitches think they are?  This
morning I was in my garden, weeding, with the radio going, when
an FSL (Fat Socialist Lesbian) came over to where I was working.
        "I can hear that radio in my apartment," she said.
        I said, "I'll turn it down."
        She said, "You'll turn it off."
        This afternoon I was riding my motorcycle.  I stopped for
a moment and an FSL walked past and said: "You are polluting
the air", and walked away.
        I've been told the same thing while driving around in my
small pick-up truck.
        Yesterday I was walking past the 519 community centre.
My dog refused to follow me, so I yanked on his leash.
Immediately an FSL, walked up from behind me, saying: "Child abuse
is a crime .. so is dog abuse".
        What is it with these people?  What makes you think I want
to hear your bullshit?  Who gave you permission to judge my actions?
Were you abused as children?  Why don't you get some couselling
and get off my back!

Space for RANT:
Hop on your soap-box and tell us what's bugging you.

--

Original article taken from:

eye magazine
"all the views that fit"
october 10, 1996
volume 5, issue 52
http://www.eye.net


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3.      Think McGyver!

THE QUEST:

        You are stuck in William Shatner's washroom.
You have to pick up your girl/boyfriend in an hour.
You look around, there are no windows.  The only exit
is the door from where you came from.  What do you do?
                Think, MacGyver!


THE ANSWERS:

From:             salad@ridgecrest.ca.us (Konigin der Nacht)

OH OH ME ME     let's see, I walk over to the door (which I've just
used to enter) I open it (because it's not locked, why would it be?)
and I walk out, and then I go and pick up my girlfriend or boyfriend!
    :D (cheesy smile)    Suzanne (salad37)

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