Capital of Nasty Electronic Magazine
Volume II, Issue 29, Year AD MCMXCVII
Monday, July 21th, 1997
ISSN 1482-0471
-------------------------------------------

       Okay, so I admit that I am no the brightest person alive on this
planet, and this time I surpassed myself.  I sent out the unfinished issue
of CoN which did not have Article number 3.  Again, this week has been
quite a mess, and it would've been fine if Internic had not screwed up
their database with their IP numbers, I would've been able to send it
out on Monday.  Oh well.

       Since I'm here...on our next Issue of CoN:
Movie review of Contact, if you haven't seen it, you've got to see it,
Perhaps a poem from the Poet Man, "My little adventure" or what happened
as I was riding my bike from Montreal, and if it's not some dark surprise
from IMPROV, then I guess it will be something else.

-------------------------------------------
3.     Burnin' Barney
        courtesy of Peter Steen (where no Sheep has been!)

TV's 'Barney' Swallows Smoke In Filming Accident

DALLAS (Reuter) - An actor playing "Barney," the purple dinosaur loved
by millions of children, suffered smoke inhalation when a cooling fan
inside the 60-pound suit shorted out during filming of the TV show,
officials said Wednesday. 

There was no fire, but the actor inhaled smoke as he tried to get out
of the suit at a Dallas studio Tuesday, said Susan Elsner, a
spokeswoman for Lyrick Studios and The Lyons Group, which created and
produces the hugely popular children's show "Barney & Friends." 

She said the actor, who was not named, inhaled a "slight amount of
smoke" but was released after a routine examination. 

Once the incident was reported on television, scores of anxious
parents called to say their children were worried their favorite
dinosaur had been burned or, worse still, was a fake. 

"It can be really devastating to a 3-year-old," Elsner said. "They
love Barney and they think that something terrible has happened to
him, or that it's not real." 

"Barney & Friends" airs on the Public Broadcasting System and is a
top-ranking program for children under age 6. It appears in 30
countries across six continents. 

Elsner said Tuesday's incident came as the cast was filming shows for
the fall season. 

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A guy walks into a bar and says to the bartender, "I want you to give me
12-year scotch, and don't try to fool me because I can tell the
difference."
The bartender is skeptical and decides to try to trick the man with 5-year
scotch. The man takes a sip, scowls and says, "Bartender, this crap is
5-year scotch.  I told you I want 12-year scotch."
The bartender tries once more with 8-year scotch. The man takes a sip,
grimaces and says, "Bartender, I don't want 8-year scotch like this filth.
Give me 12-year scotch!"
Impressed, the bartender gets the 12-year scotch, the man takes a sip and
sighs, "Ah, now that's the real thing."
A disgusting, grimy, stinking drunk has been watching all this with great
interest.  He stumbles over and sets a glass down in front of the man and
says, "Hey, I think that's really far out what you can do.  Try this one."
The man takes a sip and immediately spits out the liquid and cries,
"Yechhh!  This stuff tastes like piss!"
The drunk's eyes light up and he says, "Yeah, now how old am I?"


     -- Arbi Arzouman

-------------------------------------------

Capital of Nasty Electronic Magazine "media you can abuse"
In memory of Father Ross "Padre" Legere.
Published every monday (or Tuesday)
Disclaimer: unintentionally offensive.
Comments and Queries welcomed.

http://www.capnasty.org/capnasty - ISSN 1482-0471

CoN is a weekly electronic journal/newsletter. Subscriptions are
available at no cost electronically.

CoN is available on Usenet newsgroups: alt.zines, alt.ezines

Or, to subscribe, send a message to join@capnasty.org


Brought to you by C.C.C.P. (Collective Communist Computing Proletariat)
Leandro Asnaghi-Nicastro          Colin Barrett
<leandro@capnasty.org>            <tyrannis@capnasty.org>

ZimID 708EC8D1  1994/09/14 EC B0 97 59 1D FE 7C 32  7E 04 2C 66 47 41 FB 7D

================================== End Part 2 ==================================

