Capital of Nasty Electronic Magazine
Volume I, Issue XIII, Year MCMXCVI AD
Monday, September 16th, 1996
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1.      Easy, Hard.
2.      Melissa & Julie
3.      Don't laugh.  This is offensive.
4.      Introducing the Goodmorning Mailing List
5.      General Closing Information

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1.      Easy, Hard.

        As I stood, crying, in the back of the
church, for once I saw Mrs. Werden like a human
being, and I understood her pain.  For once I
didn't see her as that annoying person that
enjoyed torturing students that dared take her
english class.  Of all the people that were in
the church, perhaps she was one of the few that
was there with the true intention of feeling
for one last time Father Legere's spirit.  I
looked around: the grade 9 had no idea who the
man that had died was, they never had the luck
to meet him, and share his happiness, and joy.
At the back of the church the usual "cool" kids
that were joking around and making noise.  I
did not ask you to bring respect to a man you
did not know, but have some respect for ME, let
me cry in peace at least.

        The grade 11, 12 and 13 had felt
Father Legere's presence at St. Patrick,
and stood in a respectful silence, in
memory of one of the few greatest teachers that
the school has ever had.  Old students, just like
me, that showed up, the majority seemed in such
a good mood and oh-so-happy to see their friends,
and Oh-Well-Father-Legere.  Perhaps I was too
bitter, or maybe I am too much of a criticizer,
but I did not find this mass to be a good one.
It needed Father Legere, with his little sarcastic
voice.  I honestly think that the best part was
Mrs. Werden speech: she said it all, she touched
everyone's hearts.  And the bagpipes managed to
shatter those few who bravely had kept their
tears inside.  I owe a lot to Father Legere: he
has been the only one to defend me from the strange
mentality of the Principal, adored my comic strips
that got me into so much trouble from the drama
dept. teacher, and always found something good
in me no matter what.

Padre Ross Legere

        There is no justice in this world,
no respect for what a man believes in;
but at times comes someone who will take your
hand and guide you through and show you that
the light is always there, and that even if
it seems dark and sinister at times and
impossible to succeed, that there should always
be hope in our hearts.
        That even if it seems as if everyone
is against you, that there is strenght in
your eyes.
        Even if it seems as you can't go any
further, that there always will be someone
there to help you and to love you no matter
who you are, where you are, what you are.
        And while I cry as I miss your gentle
words, never I will forget what you thought me,
what you said and most of all that smirky
little smile of yours you greeted me with each
time we met.
        Easy Hard father, and don't you forget.

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The images that appear on the HTML version
of this issue are from June of 94, inside
of Holy Name Church, class of 94 graduates.
Toronto, Ontario, Canada.

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2.      Melissa & Julie

        Some people assume that since this
magazine has the word "Nasty" in it's name,
that it deals with pornography or material
of the same sort.  CoN is a magazine
written for fun, or to express our feelings.
We DO NOT support pornography in any way.
Yet it is scary to look on the Internet and
to see how many sites are dedicated for Sex,
pornography and similar.  What's the point
of pornography?  What is so exciting in a
picture, an image of a static person that
doesn't move, doesn't respond, but that
seems like enchanted?  And so these poor
bastards look around for some more images,
and if they accidentally stumble upon us
who knows what they might think they have
found.

        Have you ever looked at the names
of the Newsgroups?  They range from normal
topics like society.culture.italian, to
oddities like alt.sex.bestiality.hamster (see
article 3).  What scared me was to see
newsgroups that supported child-pornography.  An
adult willing to pose for pornography has the
right of freedom to do whatever they want.
I can't stop the person from doing it, I can
just argue against it.  But don't tell me that
kids decide to get involved in this by
themselves.  Recently in the news they talked
about the death of two little Belgian girls, Melissa
and Julie, kidnapped by Marc Dutroux, a repeated
sexual offender, for the eventual selling in
the sex slaves market.  The two little girls were
kept in a little cell in his basement.  When
Dutroux was jailed for 4 months for car theft
and other crimes, Melissa and Julie starved to
death.  Says Home Officer Minister David Maclean:
"There should be no escape for these depraved
people who commit sexual offenses against
children". Hopefully after what has happened
in Belgium, the world will be a little more
aware of the evil that lurks around our children.


"Le monde est dangerux a` vivre non a` cause
 de ceux qui font le mal mais a` cause de ceux
 qui regardent et laissent fare"

The quote credited to Albert Einsten used in
the poster during the search of Melissa and
Julie:

"The world is a dangerous place to live in
 not because of those who do evil but because
 of those who watch and let it happen"

                A. Einstein 


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The images that appear on the HTML version
of this issue are stolen from TIME magazine,
September 2, 1996, pg. 16, by J. Walsh.

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3.      It's offensive...so don't laugh.

Questions that will become clear after you've
read the article:

1) Is Raggot OK?
2) Have they sold this act to "Circus Circus" yet?
3) Doesn't "Armageddon" seem like a long word to use
   in that scenario?
4) How about rodent miners' hats?
5) Was the tube from Bounty's Xtra Jumbo Kwiker Picker
   Uppers?
6) What were these freak shows thinking?

Subject: Fire Trap

From the LA Times:

"In retrospect, lighting the match was my big mistake.
But I was only trying to retrieve the gerbil," Eric
Tomaszewski told bemused doctors in the Severe Burns
Unit of Salt Lake City Hospital.  Tomaszewski, and his
homosexual partner Andrew "Kiki" Farnum, had been
admitted for emergency treatment after a felching
session had gone seriously wrong. "I pushed a cardboard
tube up his rectum and slipped Raggot, our gerbil,
in," he explained. "As usual, Kiki shouted out
"Armageddon", my cue that he'd had enough. I tried
to retrieve Raggot but he wouldn't come out again,
so I peered into the tube and struck a match, thinking
the light might attract him."

At a hushed press conference, a hospital spokesman
described what happened next. "The match ignited a
pocket of intestinal gas and a flame shot out the tube,
igniting Mr Tomaszewski's hair and severely burning
his face.  It also set fire to the gerbil's fur and
whiskers which in turn ignited a larger pocket of gas
further up the intestine, propelling the rodent out
like a cannonball."

Tomaszewski suffered second degree burns and a broken
nose from the impact of the gerbil, while Farnum
suffered first and second degree burns to his anus
and lower intestinal tract.

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4.      Introducing the Goodmorning Mailing List

        You might have already found a strange
quote inside of your e-mailbox.  It is part of
a mailing list (which includes CoN's) to send
fun quotes to people, all over the world.
        You are more then welcome to send in
your favorite quotes, or comments at:

        mtabini@ifront.com

        If you need further information
or don't want to be part of the
Goodmorning Mailing List, send e-mail to
the above address and ask to be removed.

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5.      General Closing Information

        The new Information and Disclaimer
file is out (v 2.0), with a few corrections
and things rearranged and rewritten, so that
they make a little more sense.
        Also, for subscribing and unsubscribing
it is now possible to write the command line
directly in the subject line and/or in the
body of the message.  For a copy of this
file, send a message to "leandro@ifront.com"
with the following text in the subject and/or
the body of the message: info capital

        Special thanks for this issue go to
Peter Steen and of course for all their
wonderful help: Xenia L., and Adriana S.
(considering that she ate that ice-cream
and didn't complain as much).
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