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          A           "Cure The Chaos: Part 1"         aNAda #30    A
        A                                                            A
     A                   by Big Daddy Bill             03/19/00         A
 A                                                                          A
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 Introduction: Life


        How dare she just sit there, he thought, and stare at me.  Who does
 she think I am?  Am I here for her to point and laugh at, for her amusement?
 
        Brian wondered all this and more in silence, his eyes glued to the
 homework he was supposed to be doing in front of him on the lunchroom table.
 This study hall was quiet, thankfully, and he was allowed a few brief
 moments to himself before *she* interupted him, with her incessant, gougeful
 staring.  He would be able to concentrate, if only she'd stop looking at
 him.

        He started to subtley bounce the eraser end of his pencil against the
 table, starring down at the numbers on the pages before him.  They made no
 sense to him for some reason, just numbers with symbols and words all
 jumbled into one big runon math problem.  All he knew was that she was
 there, she was invading his life with her eyes, the portals into the soul
 they say.  Portals into hell is more like it, Brian muttered under his
 tongue.

        Idealogically speaking, Brian wasn't the most popular, or the most
 attractive, or the smartest.  He kept to himself, staying out of the other
 kids' ways mostly, avoiding what confrontation he could.  He wasn't afraid
 of anything per se, he just didn't want to bother with it.  He didn't have
 many friends, or for that matter any enemies, either.  Just this bitch, he
 thought, this bitch who can't keep her eyes to herself.  I can't concentrate
 with her looking at me, he silently spoke to himself, all the while never
 taking his eyes off the big pile of numbers and words on the page before
 him.

        Brian stood up noiselessly, all tension broke, and as he made a bee-
 line for the Pepsi Machine in the back of the lunchroom, he took a casual
 glance at "her".  He walked behind her, as that was where the vending
 machine was, and looked at the back of her head.  His brow furrowed in
 question, as he stood with the quarters between his fingers, poised at the
 slot where the machine would graciously eat his money in exchange for a cold
 beverage.  Why isn't she looking at me now, he pondered, his eyes frozen on
 the back of her head.

        He studied the long, dark spiral of curls that hung from her head,
 elegantly brushing the edges of her slender shoulders.  Her head was at a
 bow, as if she was looking at the book in front of her, but he knew what was
 really on her mind.

        "Mister Morrse!" a familiar voice boomed, "how long do you intend on
 standing there, exactly?"  The teacher was standing up, glaring over at
 Brian, who stood stupidly behind the girl.

        "Sorry, just.. uh.. gettin a soda" Brian stammered back, his face
 turning red with imminent embarassment.

        She turned her head to the side, he saw, as the coins clunked to the
 hopper in the machine.  It was his turn to stare, and he caught her looking
 out of the corner of her eye.  Instantly her eyes whipped forward, turning
 her head straight again.  He reached down slowly, glancing at the impeding
 teacher, and clutched the cold cola to his chest.

        Brian retreated back to his seat at the table, carefully cracking
 open the can that held his carbonated savior.  He took a long, cool drink,
 feeling his throat burn with the cola goodness that he gulped down.

        And then she started staring again.


 {*****}

 Lesson 1: You're Crazy


	The locker next to him slammed shut, startling him out of his dazed
 reverie.  Brian looked over at the hulking jock next to him, who did not
 return the gaze.  Instead, the football captain turned his attention to the
 things inside Brians locker: the pictures of his girlfriend, the locked
 briefcase collecting dust at the bottom, and of course his academic
 necessities.  LeRoy "Ballz" Baalzetto was a big stupid asshole, and he often
 loved to prove it.

        "Who's that?" LeRoy referred to the picture of Kelly, Brian's
 girlfriend, pasted to the inside of the locker door.  "I think I fucked her
 once... wrestled her around like I do my puppies at home."  A high pitched
 giggle came out of LeRoy's mouth following his lewd words, along with a slap
 on Brian's back.

        LeRoy turned and walked away, leaving Brian stunned and angry at his
 locker bay.  Brian swept his eyes down to the briefcase collecting dust at
 the bottom of his locker, almost willfully.  Motherfucking dickhead, Brian
 silently cursed, his eyes glued to the black leather case, his mouth set in
 a state of rage.

        "Just chill man, he doesn't know you..." came the wise words of one
 of Brian's only friends, Bradley.  The slim kid cracked a smile at Brian,
 combing his fingers through his long hair.  "Fuck 'em." he added.

        "Yeah, I know, but why the fuck does he gotta say something about
 Kelly every goddamn day?" Brian questioned, his agitated tone apparent as he
 closed his locker, his bookbag in hand, the cola he bought earlier in the
 other.  It was fifth hour, about the middle of the day.  Brian was heading
 to math.

        "I dunno, just.. fuck 'em."  That seemed to be all the advice that
 Bradley could offer, as Brian left him standing there in the hallway by his
 locker, skillfully disappearing into the bustling crowd.

        In math class, Brian tried to sit still and pay attention, but there
 was this uncomfortable vibe he felt in the room, as if someone were right
 behind him, staring down at him in absolute hatred.  Brian turned his head
 and looked around, viewing the concentrating faces in turn, as they were all
 testing.  His eyes caught on to his neighbor, another member of the
 "Brainless Brigade" as they were called around school.  The sports jocks,
 they're all alike, Brian thought.  So fucking ignorant and yet so accepted,
 Brian processed, a sneer on his face.  He didn't even know this ones name,
 and surely he didn't care.

        Brian turned his eyes back down to his paper, taking a drink of the
 soda he had set on his desk.  When Brian set it back down, he felt more at
 ease, the cold drink seemingly calming his nerves.  That's when his
 neighbor's foot shot out from under him, deftly kicking the leg of Brian's
 desk.  It shook the desk violently, thusly tipping the can that Brian set
 back down.  The contents spilling out, Brian gasped, but much too late.  The
 cola was all over his test paper, and now began to pour onto his lap.  Brian
 lept from his desk with such force that he knocked his desk over, as his
 neighbor began to laugh hysterically.  Everyone in the classroom turned,
 their eyes on Brian and his wet crotch, and Brian was met with a wave of
 congratulatory applause and cheering.  Others were chuckling, some
 snickering, some just staring, but Brian saw them all as his mockers.

        Brian remained cemented to the ground, seemingly not hearing the
 teacher shouting to get the attention of the class, or her orders for Brian
 to get a towel.  All Brian heard was his heartbeat in his ears, his eyes
 locked on the large puddle on the floor that was his soda, the can tilted
 and still burping out its brown fizzy insides.  Brian shook his head slowly
 and backed from the classroom.

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 {  (c)2000 aNAda e'zine *                  * aNAda030 * by Big Daddy Bill  }
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