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 .   .   .   .  .   .  .   .  .   .            "Jason on PETA Again"
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  . . .  .   .   . . .  . . .  . . .                 by Jason


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        PETA is a terrorist organization. 

        "Oh great," says the hippy in Row G, Seat 12, "I can't WAIT to hear
 how this one turns out."

        Ignoring the philistine, I continue.

        About a week or two ago, I was making fun of radicals as I often do
 when I don't feel like working.  Specifically, I was talking about the
 psychos who continue to push those idiotic electric cars and try to impose
 their radical madness on a saner public.  Then a manager of the department
 comes walking by and gets involved.  Apparently this broad is a fan of 60's
 radicalism, who, among other things, said PETA was full of "wonderful
 people".  She loves radicals, she said, because the bring attention to
 causes.  Naturally I think of my best counterarguments after it's far too
 late.

        "Well, okay then," I WOULD have said, "by your definition, those
 Muslim extremists who blow up civilian airliners would be justified, since
 they are bringing attention cause, right?  Timothy McVeigh would be
 blameless, too, since he was just calling attention to his cause."

        "Of course not," she'd say. 

        After a little more banter, we'll agree that killing people is not
 the hallmark of a good or correct radical.

        "Okay," I WOULD have said next, "would it be alright just to beat
 somebody up if you didn't like them?  Would it be OK for a bunch of
 Neo-Nazis to beat up a Jew or a group of religious nuts to beat up a gay
 guy, but not kill him?  After all, they're just following their beliefs, and
 probably think that they're doing good."

        I would hope she'd say no to that.  If I know PETA fans at all, we'll
 be able to agree that it's wrong to physically abuse somebody just because
 you don't like what they represent.

        Next comes the clincher.  "Would it be alright to destroy somebody's
 private property?"  I WOULD have asked.  "Would a bunch of UAW dudes be
 justified in smashing some guy's Honda, or would it be okay for a bunch of
 Klansmen to burn down a black church?  After all, they're only doing what
 they think is right."

        Ah, the trap is set.  Put in those terms, of course you'd have to say
 that no, it's not right to destroy private property.  If she said something
 like, "Well it depends," I would counter with something like "Would it be
 alright to destroy YOUR property because somebody didn't like what our
 company was doing?" Then she'd HAVE to say no.

        "Well, THAT," I would say triumphantly, "is what PETA does!" 

        Ah, PETA.  Made up of morons whose brains have been destroyed by the
 complete lack of animal protein.  They made themselves infamous by spray-
 painting fur coats and breaking into biotech centers to free all of the cute
 little animals.  They're the ones who insist that we treat animals better
 than we treat ourselves by not eating any meat or dairy, not wearing fur or
 leather, and not even having PETS.

        "Well, that's all fine," says the hippy in Row G, Seat 12, "but that
 doesn't make them terrorists!"

        Oh yes it does!  What do terrorists do?  They make the people they
 don't like afraid to leave their houses.  The PLO scared the hell out of
 Israelis because no one knew when they would strike, but they knew that
 every Israeli was a target.  It was the same thing with the KKK and blacks,
 Pro-Life fanatics and abortion doctors, Iranian Muslim hardliners and
 anybody with a hint of liberalism, and with PETA and anybody who dares to
 not think like they do.

        Sure, PETA's weapons are spray paint and pies and not guns and bombs,
 but their tactics and intentions are identical.  I mean, heck, if you knew
 that because of what you believed or what you did for a living that somebody
 might spray paint you, throw a pie at you, or just get in your face, you'd
 never want to leave the house!  PETA is a group interested in FORCING its
 views on the rest of us through propaganda and intimidation.  It is
 therefore, BY DEFINTION, a terrorist organization.  They're a low-grade
 terrorist organization, certainly, but they're a bunch of terrorists
 nonetheless.  If it ever comes up again, I'll just say, "I'm not in the
 habit of supporting terrorist organizations."

        The fact that they rely on celebrity aid doesn't help.  Since when
 are celebrities the litmus test of responsibility and common sense?  Most of
 those "cultural elite" would be locked up in the loony faster than you can
 say "show us your tits" if they weren't famous.  I'm not a Scientologist
 because celebrities claim it made them great, and I sure as hell ain't gonna
 join friggin' PETA just because THEY say its cool.  The fact that that
 stupid slut Pamela Anderson is a member REALLY cracks its credibility.

        And you, the guy in Row G, Seat 12, I'll remember you.

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  .           anada 118                      by Jason  (c)2000 anada e'zine .
      
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