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 .   .   .   .  .   .  .   .  .   .    "'80s WARS: Debbie Gibson vs. Tiffany"
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  . . .  .   .   . . .  . . .  . . .               by Phairgirl


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 *****  WELCOME TO '80s WARS: THE true test of what held up then, what  *****
 *****   holds up now, and what was a disease that hopefully the human  *****
 *****                        race will endure.                         *****

                TONIGHT'S CONTENDERS: Debbie Gibson vs. Tiffany.
                                 Ding, Ding!


        1987 kicked some serious ass for us ten year old girls.  There was
 more happy cheesepop than we could handle, given the choice between the cute
 blonde Debbie Gibson and the sassy redhead Tiffany.  Debbie Gibson had more
 hits and more original tunes, but Tiffany was a way better dancer with much
 cooler hair.  SO HARD TO CHOOSE!  Luckily, we didn't HAVE to choose one or
 the other, we just listened to them both until we fell over dead.  But who
 was, and is, better?

        Debbie Gibson certainly has a major leg up on the competition, given
 that she played the piano and wrote her own songs.  However, some of those
 songs certainly showed that they were written by a 17 year old girl.  I
 remember the first time I heard "Shake Your Love."  I thought it was pretty
 dumb.  Mind you, I was ten, I listened to BARBIE AND THE ROCKERS, but I
 still thought that song was pretty dumb.  However, the more I heard it, the
 more I liked its CATCHY BEAT and VERY COLORFUL VIDEO.  I was getting Debbie
 Gibson Fever.

        Debbie had 4 big hits from her first album: "Shake Your Love," "Only
 In My Dreams," "Out Of The Blue," and "Foolish Beat."  I never owned the
 actual album, but I had taped it from my friends, and quite honestly, most
 of the other songs on her album sucked ass.  I was, and still am, a huge fan
 of "Foolish Beat."  The rest... well, whatever.

        Debbie's second album, the downright scary "Electric Youth," was so
 inferior in comparison.  "Lost In Your Eyes" was decent enough I suppose,
 but the title track was kinda lame (and the video was even worse).  And if
 you owned the tape, you know the sheer horror that are "Who Loves Ya Baby"
 and "No More Rhyme," quite possibly two of the most godawful pieces of crap
 to grace music history.

        Yeah, Debbie had a few more albums after that, too.  The next was
 "Anything Is Possible," which seriously caused bleeding in my ear canal.
 Then she started making "mature" music, starring on Broadway in Les Mis,
 and it was pretty interesting.  Still, her music just sucks ass now.  She
 should have just shut the hell up and faded away.

        Speaking of Debbie, not of her songwriting per se: her voice is SO
 ANNOYING.  She has these twitches and tweaks and such a WHINE that gets
 completely grating.  It bothered me then and it bothers me still,
 considering her voice has not changed ONE BIT since she was 17.  Debbie, or
 shall I say DEBORAH, of the '90s and beyond was just not a pretty thing.

        Thankfully, Debbie was not the only one to bear the brunt of all the
 girl-pop bashing.  Just like Christina Aguilera to Britney Spears, we have
 Tiffany, the "other" teen pop sensation.  She didn't write a damned note on
 her debut album, but given what we saw on Debbie's debut for songwriting,
 I'm not crying over it.  Why, Tiffany even became the youngest female to
 have a number one album (at age 14, mind you), and she didn't have to do
 anything but sing and dance.  Debbie should have sat back and taken it easy.

        Tiffany's big debut album hits included "I Think We're Alone Now,"
 "I Saw Him Standing There," "Could've Been," and my personal favorite,
 "Promises Made."  Tiffany's songs were considerably more risque and in-depth
 than Debbie's, and hell, she even had the balls to cover a Beatles tune (and
 alter the lyrics no less).  This does not mean, however, that her album
 didn't have such crap as "Johnny's Got The Inside Moves," a song that to
 this day STILL makes no sense to me.

        And yes, Tiffany had more than one album.  Her second album, "Hold An
 Old Friend's Hand," had the single "All This Time," that really showed a
 lot more progression in her voice.  It's a silly album and all, but she was
 sounding better, and her voice only improved with her next album that I
 would never have spent money on, "New Inside."

        Tiffany was neat in lots of ways.  She played concerts in malls.  She
 sued her mom for being a bitch and keeping all of her money.  She looked
 better in a jean jacket than Debbie did.  But she did do the voice of Judy
 Jetson in that lameass Jetsons movie, and she did have that godawful squawk
 in her voice that ALWAYS reminded you that this was Tiffany you were
 hearing.

        And, much like Ms. Deborah, she too has a brand new album out for the
 year 2000.  I haven't heard it.  I haven't heard Debbie's either, and I'm
 not particularly upset about this, considering I prefer to keep my '80s teen
 pop stars where they belong--in the '80s.  However, while Debbie was off
 playing Eponine, Tiffany was recording one of my favorite songs of ALL TIME
 with none other than super-gods Frontline Assembly, a cover of U2's "New
 Years' Day."  IT IS FUCKING INCREDIBLE.  People I know who hate U2 AND
 Tiffany think this song is amazing.

        So I am slightly biased here.

        Even still, I think even if FLA hadn't stepped in and singlehandedly
 made Tiffany KICK ASS, she's still the better of the two.  Debbie's pop was
 nice and all, and it's great that she had talent and everything (more power
 to her), but at least Tiffany knew when to sit back and let someone else
 compose her shit and keep her from embarassing herself years down the road.
 Debbie Gibson has been quoted as feeling kind of embarassed at her Greatest
 Hits collection--maybe that was a hint.  Now if only Tiffany had included
 "Promises Made" on HER Greatest Hits collection.  Now I have to spend more
 money than I originally intended to get both that song AND "All This Time."
 Sigh.

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  .           anada 168                  by Phairgirl  (c)2000 anada e'zine .
      
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