                                                                  #
 anada   "Deer In                                                 #          
 238         Headlights"               +###           +###    +####    +###  
                                      #    #  #  #   #    #  #    #   #    # 
                                by   #     #  # ##  #     #  #    #  #     # 
 16                       SlainElf   #    .#  ## #  #    .#  #   .#  #    .# 
 dec                                  *###  * #   *  *###  * *###  *  *###  *
 2000 .+#################################################################.net

        and after getting caught, look away quickly.  obviously.  look busy
 or stay silent and still.  awkwardness passes eventually.  try not to look
 back too soon though.  will reset awarity.  and hopefully the subject of
 girls or lack thereof or maybe should say relationships to be more general
 for those who want to relate or something will cease sooner or later.
 probably not though.  and not just relationships, relating to people in
 general.

        so hard sometimes.  just relating to friends even.  never seems to
 happen the way i think it should.  so eventually, find someone.  and why
 anyway?  all taught.  not as strong as some philosophers who somehow reached
 that level or repressed.  can wish though.  less sadness than madness.  keep
 mind from wandering to that avenue somehow.  books?  no hope; seeps in
 through characters or understanding.  video games?  not a chance; reminder
 that most (oops there goes that able to relate subject again.  sorry) don't
 partake and even though i don't feel the same about her, laura croft
 everywhere.  guitar?  nope; not good enough to be in a band to be noticed,
 definitely not looking enough to sing.  sports?  haha.

        so what then?  no vices to distract.  So infatuate.  all about
 infatuation.  two to three current right now.  none of them will ever know
 though.  what good or harm would that cause anyway?  don't think could give
 up as infatuations if tried.  even if decision came and boldness.  boldness
 never.  end of the world maybe.  and if it worked, would be saddened by the
 loss of the other two.  actually all three.  one that worked not supposed to
 be an infatuation anymore.  love, whatever that means takes over.  causes
 too much... to much something.  so hold on to the infatuations for a
 ridiculous amount of time.  fortunate to actually be longing.

 .+##########################################################################

 anada238 by SlainElf                                                (c) 2000
 ###################################################################anada.net
