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 .   .   .   .  .   .  .   .  .   .            "Benny Hill is Dead"
 .   .   .   .  .   .  .   .  .   .
  . . .  .   .   . . .  . . .  . . .               by Schoolboy


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        I was in Philadelphia in July this year for a week (I live in
 London).  The US company I work for had a once-a-decade get together for the
 whole company no matter how minor an employee you were.  I was chatting to
 many American colleagues while I was there; very boring, very middle-road
 Americans.  They were the sort that never needed a TV guide because they'd
 watch the same programmes on the same channels at the same time of each day.
 So as you can imagine, they had nothing to contribute to conversations; they
 just asked me reams of questions about England.

        "Do you watch Benny Hill?  Do you watch Are You Being Served?"

        "No because Benny Hill is dead and Are You Being Served ceased
 production in 1978!"

        As it happens BBC1 is showing Are You Being Served at the moment but
 in an ad hoc way.  Then it would be, "Who's your president?"

        "We don't have one.  We have the leader of the ruling party who is
 for that reason alone the Prime Minister.  He is Tony Blair and the UK's
 equivalent of the President is the Queen, although she has no power
 whatever."

        "I thought John Major was your president."

        "No he was the Prime Minister but he was voted out in 1997 and the
 Labour Party took power.  Benny Hill is dead and the rumour is that he was
 gay and he got most of the ladies he chased on speeded up film to suck his
 cock every other day because he was scared to be caught cruising in parks."
 
        "I was asking about your president.  I'd really like to visit London.
 It is nice?"

        "Yes, but Benny Hill's dead and in his later series he could be seen
 wearing an appalling toupee and his material went radically downhill.  In
 fact, very few people in Britain remember him and those that do don't think
 he was all that funny."

        "But is London nice?"

        "Monty Python was brilliant but they only made 5 series and few
 people watched it at the time.  Graham Chapman, resident alcoholic of
 Python, died in the 1980's and Benny Hill is dead too."

        "I hear you guy's get taxed on commission..."

        "I love The Simpsons and especially Family Guy but we can only get
 them on subscription TV although I think the BBC has rights to about 12
 Simpsons episodes.  Do you watch Family Guy?"

        "Benny Hill's dead?"

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  .           anada 156                  by Schoolboy  (c)2000 anada e'zine .
      
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