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    ####  ###           "A Few Angry Words From My Mind"           ###       
     #######                    by AphexTwin23                              
      ####                                                                  

        I'm writing out of concern for the well-being of my school.  I am
 living in fear of our future.  There are too many people whose heads can be
 pumped with empty notions.

        At this school we do NOT support free thinkers.  We are hidden under
 a cloud of obliviousness.  Half the people in my school are unaware of what
 is really going on.  They are too busy being concerned with the petty
 goings-on of being teenagers.  They are struggling soo hard just to be
 accepted and to fit in with the "norm".  They don't realize that what
 they're really doing is following their peers blindly and without a thought.
 
        Most of us are one big sheep flock.  We have a lack of diversity and
 individuality in my school.  Some of us try to promote diversity but we only
 get looked down on and told that it is wrong.  But yet we are told to be
 ourselves and to resist peer pressure.  You think that those who are
 different are the victims of peer pressure but actually we are the ones who
 have broken away from society in an attempt to be ourselves.  They try to
 make school safe for everyone but it's such an uncomfortable environment.

        Those few who have broken away from peers their age are usually the
 ones who are actually being harassed.  I think we stick in the safety of
 this cloning here because we are afraid we will be harassed if we show any
 differences, which is why there's such a big problem with racism and
 homophobia at my school.

        People automatically classify you if you are different.  We're
 freaks, dirts, hippies, goths, and other such names.  We've been forced to
 take this every day of our "rebellion", and to cope, the word "freak" has
 become almost a compliment to some.  It just shows when someone yells
 "freak" at you form across the hall how far you've come and that you are
 your own person.  No one else will celebrate the fact that we are not the
 same, so we have to use their demeaning behavior and jeers as a tool to
 remind us.  When people stare from their little knots of "friends" we know
 we have reached something.  We have become something they will never be: an
 individual.

        People are too ignorant and afraid of rejection to even think for
 themselves.  It's pretty sad what everything has come to.  We teens
 represent our school.  But yet some of those have formed a thing known as
 "White Power Wednesday" which is a disgrace.  I sometimes wonder if they
 even realize what they're doing.  Or do they find it trendy to do this too?
 It's kind of like the "cool" people who walk around flaunting anarchy
 symbols on their clothes... but the question is... do they even know what
 anarchy is?  And then there's those assholes who listen to Rage Against the
 Machine... it's ok to listen to them... but not when some of these people
 are the ones that Rage is making fun of!  God damn it!

        People are so convinced that the "goths" and "freaks" are the ones
 doing the drinking and drugs.  But really we are the intelligent ones who
 actually want to succeed.  It has become a trendy thing to get drunk and
 smoke weed every weekend.  They are so concerned with fitting in and
 playing sports that they'll do whatever it takes and ignore chances and shut
 out opportunities so most of them do poorly academically.  If you were to
 compare grades to "social standing" within high school, you would see that
 the people who are so-called "weird" probably do better.  Granted, there are
 some who feel so broken by the system that they don't try, but, in general,
 we do well.  And it's funny how smart people tend to be eccentric and a
 little crazy.

        I mean, look at Einstein for instance.  I'm afraid that we might be
 sinking too far into this hole that it may be too late to dig ourselves out.
 We are continuing to sink into this and hide what is really going on.  I'm
 tired of struggling to get my point across when no one wants to listen.  I
 try my hardest to show diversity and individuality by being myself and it's
 beginning to seem pointless when I am only ignored.  People who do not flock
 tend to be more open to other opinions and more aware of their world.  It is
 rare to hear the sheep talking about politics or controversial issues or
 things that are wrong in the world and how to fix them.  In the halls, the
 things I hear are

 "AND HE BROKE UP WITH ME..BUT I LOVED HIM!"

 "SO, WE'RE GOING TO THAT PARTY FRIDAY NIGHT?  I HEARD THERE'S GOING TO BE A
  BIG FUCKING KEGGER THERE."

 "YEAH, LAST SATURDAY I GOT TOTALLY WASTED."

        This, people, is the voice of the majority.

        These people will institute over half of the population.

        Because we are so few and far between, we tend to feel very alone.
 But we would rather be alone than a poseur in the sea of clones.  We would
 rather be ourselves and alone than the same and lost in the cloud. 

        Suicide rates are high because the sheep flock attacks us, belittles
 us, oppresses us.  We are called freaks, but really, what is so freakish
 about being your own person?  The scary people, the ones who SHOULD be the
 freaks, are the people that will give up their whole person to fit in.
 People that will see their soul.

        So to all of you who are really, truly yourselves, and don't worry
 about what other people think: ROCK ON!!!

        To all of those who follow your "friends", do like they do, and were
 offended by this: BAAAAHHH!!!  Thank you.

 ****************************************************************************
 # (c)2000 aNAda e'zine                        aNAda087 .*.  by AphexTwin23 #
 ............................................................................
